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FOR 5 WEEKLIES (one free to agent) • °0 FOR SO WEEKLIES(the DAILY free on- Mr* 60 00 FOB 25 WEEKLIES (the DAILY free six months) '- 5 00 FOR 13 WEEKLIES (the DAILY free three months) 1S °° {Specimen copies sent free. t_r"C_rrespo_~ence containing important news solicited from every point. Rejected couimu-ic-- Uom cannot be preserved Address all Letters and Telegrams to THE GLOBE. St. _*_-_, Mink. ST. PAUL, SUNDAY, MAY 3, 1835. |Sf"TH_ Chicago office OP THE Globs is AT No. 11 Times Bvildixg. £_■" Tub Mi__apoi.is office of the Globe is at NO. 257 Ti-Rsr Avenue South. tW The Still-water office of the Globe is at 110 Mau: Stbxet. Exoelsior Block. _."__ Or THE NEWS. Gen. Lord Wolseley arrived at Suakim last night. . The number of votes registered in St, Paul is 20,955. There is bulldozing in the St. Paul Har vester works. Queen Victoria and Princess Beatrice have started for home. John R. Parshallwas appointed postmaster at Faribault, this state. Safe blowers made an ineffectual attempt on a St. Paul "box" Friday night. The transcontinental lines are cutting rates between Chicago and San Francisco. An Ashtabula, 0., preacher, charged with bigamy, left the town and his loving wife and baby. Minneapolis boilcrmakers protest against Gov. Hubbard's appointment of boiler in spectors. Delegations from Dakota are in Washing ton favoring different candidates for the gov ernorship. It is stated authoritatively that Miss Sweet will have to give up the Chicago pension office to Mrs. Mulligan. A decision has been rendered against the Sioux City railway in favor of the govern ment for 6,000 acres of land. Rumor says that a new union depot will be built in Minneapolis on completion of the St. Paul & Northern Pacific between the two cities. Russian papers continue to repudiate the idea of submitting the Penjdeh affair to an inquiry, or of referring the dispute to arbi tration. Cleveland dislikes politicians, and those applying for office should be indorsed by their home preacher and not the wire pullers. C. F. Wood, a merchant of Belle Prairie, Minn., in attempting to get on a Northern Pacific train while in motion fell under the cars and both legs were cut off. . Information has been received at London that Russia will accept England's proposal of mediation to determine who was guilty of violating the compact of March 17. Removals from office are being rapidly made at Washington in consequence of the lack of appropriations. After July 1 Demo crats will step into the vacant places. The Standard says that the struggle of Eng land and Russia for supremacy is India has begun, and that the struggle in not one of frontiers or oue of fine points, but of inter national morality and competition for influ ence, credit and prestige. By a fire in Billings early this morning the First National bank, owned by Stebbins, Mund & Co., the property of the recently consolidated Herald and Post aud Itustler, and other valuable property was destroyed. The total loss was $40,000. The victim of the Pittsburg trunk mystery has been recognized as Pietro Coruso, for merly a Pittsburg peanut vendor. The detec tives think the person who had the trunk checked was in the union depot at Pittsburg shortly before the discovery. HEAD THIS. We desire to recall a scrap of history which is unknown to some people and prob ably forgotten by a great many others, and which we use in this connection to illustrate the hollow hypocrisy of the syndicate ring, who, professing to fight under the banner of reform, are in reality seeking to organize sys tematic raids on the city treasury. Some years ago the state granted to the Sioux City Railway company a subsidy of a large and valuable tract of public land. In the transfer of the franchise of the Sioux City road to the Omaha company these lands were reserved and held by the stockholders of the former company. The entire stock of this land reserve has passed into the hands of three individuals, and cost them the enormous sum of one cent on the dollar. Sy the provisions of the original grant from the state to the Sioux City Railway com pany these lands were exempt from taxa tion, and in order to preserve the benefits of this exemption the trio who are now owners of these lands claim to be the Sioux City Railway company. Thus a technical covering is given to the claim. A part of this land lies within the city of St. Paul and has never been subject to tax ation. The residue of it lies in Nobles and other counties of the state. While settlers have gone in and taken up and purchased lands all around the territory embraced within this grant, the syndicate owning it has uniformly refused to sell a foot of it, or if they offered it for sale placed such exor bitant prices on it as to render a sale im possible. The obvious reason for pursuing this course has been to have other people make improvements around and about it, thus yearly increasing the value of land which has cost them virtually nothing and on which they pay no tax. Two years ago an effort was made in the legislature to pass a bill to place these lands on the tax dupli cate. Anticipating a move of this kind the syndicate went to work and secured the election of Mr. Merriam to the legislature for the express purpose of defeating this legislation. Mr. Merriam is the only son of one of the three owners of this grant and of course was to be relied upon. Their confidence was not misplaced, as he suc ceeded in accomplishing their purpose. Last winter the matter was brought before the legislature again by Judge Wilson, and af ter a • careful investigation of the proposition, the senate passed the bill to place tlie land upon the tax duplicate. When it went to the house it encountered the opposition of Sir. Drake, who was a member of another family that held a third interest in the syndicate, and who performed the duty for which the syn dicate had selected him in a manner satis factory to the land owners, as Mr. Mer riam had the previous session. And still the land is untaxed. '■.'*- . ' \ ■ With this statement of facts before them the taxpayers of this city can readily under stand why Mr. Merriam sees his way clear to spend so much money in the canvass for tlie mayoralty. If once entrenched in the office of mayor he would occupy a position of very great power in protecting his large and valuable real estate property from taxa tion. The amount of one year's tax on this property would go a long way toward mak ing a return for the money he is now spend ing. This is only one of the many schemes which the syndicate ring have in view in their effort to get control' of the city gov ernment. With Meui'iam for Mayor and McCardy for comptroller, the people of this city would be at the mercy of a ring that is now fleecing the state, county and city out of taxes properly due. and stand ready to manipulate, any other job that may present itself, to the sacrifice of the public interest and that will put money in their purse. This one illustration ought to be sufficient to convince the voters of St. Paul that Mr. Merriam is not the man they are seeking to put at the head of the administration of our municipal affairs. The man who tinder the cover of a legal technicality will refuse to contribute his just proportion of the public tax is not the man to exemplify reform in any public mat ter. } The hypocrisy of such a claim is abso lutely disgusting. * THE lIOLT.OW KEPOKM CRY. The Globe has pretty effectually proven that W. R. Merriam violated „ public trust to further his private interests. It has shown beyond a possibility of refutation that in the absence of his. colleagues he rushed through the legislature, under sus pended rules, a bill validating a certain city ordinance, thereby putting it beyond the pa's of repeal. That much is found in the House Record for ISS3. We have now come into possession of more facts that amplify the grossness of Mr.' Merriam's offense. Previous to the intro duction of that bill, Mr. ___________ was one of a syndicate of five individuals who held $75,030 worth of the stock (fade value) of the St. Paul Street Railway company, or just one share more than half the entire capital stock. Of that amount Mr. Mer riam held §30,000, or approximately two fifths of the syndicate's holdings. • Now the Globe has it, on the authority of one of the five members of the syndicate, that when they sold out to the Minneapolis parties, they (the syndicate) netted on their stock over $100, 000. This handsome profit, our informer states, would never have been reaped if the Merriam bill had not passed the legislature. The Minneapolis parties, headed by Mr. Thomas Lowby, refused to buy until it was passed. No wonder Mr. Merriam could afford to spend $7,000 to be elected member of the legislature at a salary of only $300. He netted out of this one bill his two-fifths of the syndicate's profits a cool $40,000. A most worthy representative of the ring of speculators, whose candidate he is; a fit instrument to hold the veto menace over the council, to coerce that body to the hid den, but doubtlessly nefarious schemes, now represented in his candidacy. A BROAD CHALLENGE. Why do not the Republicans hi some manner, when they make their wholesale charges of corruption in office — mal-admi istration, reflecting upon such worthy citi zens as William Dawson, 'Robert A. Smith, C. D.O'RRiENor Edmund Rice — why do they not specify some one act wherein they were remiss, wherein they have forfeited the confidence of our people or are deservedly to be counted as bad men? We challenge their hatred, and we chal lenge any well-formulated charge on any count they choose to make. Let these charges be specific and signed by the men who owe it to the public to parade their sig natures over such charges. They have always lived here, are well known and most favorably known for these thirty years. These general charges of mal-ad ministration on their part are founded on nothing but the desire of the Republicans, badly represented by the Pioneer Press, to mislead the thousands of newcomers, from whom they expect votes, upon their ex parte statements of fraud. WOMAN'S 01.IGIX. Darwin having settled to the satisfac tion of the modern scientific mind the origin of man, some speculation is now be ing indulged in to determine whence woman originated. We had a theory in the palmy days of childhood which we honestly be lieved, that little girls were made of "sugar and spice and all that's nice," but as we grew older the illusion was dispelled and we learned to our disappointment that they were the product of a rib. Even then in the innocence of youth it was a mystery to the childish mind why the crookedest bone in the human body should have been chosen out of which to make the loveliest object of creation. Not even a partial explanation of this mystery was reached until reading a sermon of Jean Ravlin preached in the sixteenth century in which occurs this sen tence: "Man, composed of clay is silent and ponderous, but woman gives evidence of her osseous origin by the rattle she keeps up." The interesting question as to the sub stance of which woman was made is one on which the various cosmogonies of nations widely differ. Probably the discoverer of these cosmogonies were men, for they sel dom give to woman a very distinguished origin. The inhabitants of Madagascar have a strange myth touching the origin of woman. They say the great enemy ap peared to the first man in Paradise and vainly pointed to him in glowing colors the sweetness of the" apple, the lusciousness of the date, and the succulence of the orange. But the father of men remembered the in junction laid upon him by the Master. Then the fiend assumed the appearance of a refulgent spirit and pretending to be a messenger from heaven with a command for the man to eat and drink, consummated the fall. Shortly after a pimple appeared on the man's leg; the spot enlarged into a tumor which increased in size considerably to his annoyance, until at the end of half a year it burst, and from it emerged a beauti ful girl. The first man was perplexed what to do with her, whether to throw her into the river which ran. through the garden, or whether to give her to the pigs, when a messenger from heaven appeared and told him to let her run about the garden until she was of marriageable age and then take her to himself. He obeyed. He called her Bahoima, and she became the mother of all races of men. . There is something tender in the Greek theory of "woman's creation. According to the Phoenician story 7 Pygmalion made a woman of marble or ivory, and Aphrodite in answer to his prayers^ endowed the statue with life. Here is an idea of purity in the conception- of the ivory origin. i Hesiod, however, gives a different account of the creation of woman, for according to his statement she was sent in mockery by Zeus to be a scourge to man. The sturdy old Scandinavians ; made woman's creation a sacred matter' 'and fashioned her from nobler stock than man. He was of the ash, she was •of '• the '■■ elm; and they called the first woman Emla, which means a labori ous female. In the old cosmic lays of the Scandinavians the primeval women are spoken of as good workers and model housewives. The Provencal troubadours caught the classic misappreciation of woman. Massilia was a Greek colony and Greek manners, tastes and habits of thought prevailed for a long time in the southeast, of France, and while they regarded her as an idol puppet they did . not know how to develop in her those inestimable treasures, the domestic virtues. In the opening of his poems on Renard there is a fling at Eve by Pierre de Saint Cloud. He says that Adam was possessor of a magic rod with winch lie could create animals at pleasure by striking the earth with it. One day he smote the earth . and there sprang THE ST. PAUL DAILY GLOBE, SUNDAY MOKNING, MA Y 3, 1885.— -TWELVE PAGES. forth the lamb. Eve caught the rod from his had, did as he had done; forthwith there bounded forth the wolf, which rent the crea tion of Adam. He struck and the domestic fowls came forth. Eve did likewise and gave being to the fox. He made the cattle, she the tiger; he the dog, she the jackal. The Provencal idea seemed to be that woman would devour all that man made. The extravagance Of French females in the present day can be traced back to the days when this primitive idea of woman's crea tion was formulated in the • Provencal mind. _S_j Turning. to our own country- we find a number Of myths relative to the first woman. The prevailing theory among the Indian" tribes Is that the Great Spirit, moved with compassion for man, who was wasting In solitude on earth, sent a heavenly spirit to be his companion and the mother of his children. This theory more nearly accords with that of the good pale face than any other. However, there are Indian tribes who tell a different tale and assert another theory. The Nanticockes say that the first woman was a muskrat. This is getting pretty well along toward the Darwin theory. They relate in. their beautiful tradition that the ancestral Nanticocke was induced by the Manitou to take a muskrat to the edge of a certain lake and dip its feet in the water and to use an appointed formulary. Thereupon a change took place in the little animal. Her body was observed to assume the posture of a. human being, gradually erecting itself as a sapling, which having been bent to the earth resumes its upright position. . When the little creature became erect the skin began to fall from the head and neck and gradually unveiling revealed the maid beautiful as a flowery meadow on the blue summer sky, or the north lit up with the flash of the dancing lights, or the rainbow which follows the . fertilizing shower. Her hand was scarcely larger than the hazel leaf and her foot no longer than that of the ringdove. The Nanticoke gazed with delight on his beauteous bride and his gratification was enhanced when he saw her stature rapidly increase to the propor tions of a human being. The Kickapoo tradition is still more nearly allied to the Darwin idea of man's origin, but is not half so full of sweet sentiment as that of the Nanticoke. The Kickapoo belief is that the first men had tails. "Very handsome tails they were, covered with long silky hair. The ancestral men became too proud of their tails and spent too much of their time lolling around the doors of their wig wams 'in the golden autumn evenings painting and adorning them. They platted the tail into beautiful tresses and wove bright beads and shells and wampum with the hair. At last the Great Spirit grew angry because the men forgot him in their idolatrous devotion of the beautiful and be loved appendage. An avenging spirit was sent to the tribe to demand an instant sac rifice of the cherished member as a forfeit for their oblivion to the Great Spirit. As tail after tail was laid upon the block and amputated the" avenging spirit took them up and converted them into vain, noisy, chattering, frisky women. In support of his theory of woman's crea tion the Kickapoo to-day will point to the fact that woman still retains indications of her origin. She is beloved as of yore; she is still beautiful, with flowing hair; still devoted to trinketry. Still is she frisky and vivacious; and still as of old does she follow after man, dangling after him, hang ing on to his heels, and can only be separ- . ated from him through the agency of an evil spirit. .' There is a half-breed cosmogony that woman is compounded of three articles, sugar, tincture of arnica and soft soap. There are various other cosmogonies eluci dated from internal convictions, assisted by all modern appliances of table rapping and clairvoyancy. But, after all, it is pleas anter to stick to the old Mosaic account that charming woman is made from our ribs, which we know come very close to our hearts, and thus to account ■ for the mutual sympathy of man and woman, and thereby to account for that compassion and tender ness that man feels for her, and also for the way in which she flies to man's side as her true resting-place ill peril and doubt. POVERTY MADE A CRIME. The state of New York needs reconstruct ing. Congress should see to it that the state is provided with a Republican form of government. Any state which has a law upon its statute book which makes poverty a crime should be blotted out of the Union. And yet that is virtually the condition of the Empire, state, as was illustrated the other day in New York city in the Maggie Mor ris case. A burly police sergeant by the name of Crowley was arrested for mak ing a criminal assault upon a poor girl. Crowley gave bad for his appearance to answer an indictment and walked off. The girl who was assaulted, owing to her pov erty, was unable to give security for her ap pearance as a witness before the grand jury and was locked up in jail. This is the most complete travesty on justice that was ever known. And yet it is all in accordance with the statutory law of the state. That such a state of affairs exists in New York, where a shoddy aristocracy based on ill-gotten riches has )■ grown up, is not so surprising. Yet it is a lamentable illustration of the demoralized condition of society under the regime of a moneyed aristocracy. Every thing, even the laws and the . decisions of courts, are constructed with reference to the power of wealth as the only determining •factor, while justice and fair, dealing as ab stract principles are absolutely ignored. Any fair-minded individual would at once decide that in the case referred to Crow ley ought to have been confined in prison and the poor girl who was the victim of his brutality ought to be allowed her liberty. But this condition of crooked justice is not confined to New York. Like a subtle poison this vicious idea of making wealth the standard of public morals and legal ad ministration is stealthily and rapidly find ing its way into all of the states and larger cities. We find a notable illustration of it right here at home. The Republican party has presented a ticket to be voted for at next Tuesday's election whose only recom mendation is that it represents the wealth and aristocracy of the community. With the peculiar features surrounding the Re- publican ticket and the claims made for the candidates a vote for that ticket would be a vote for the establishment of the New York idea that poverty is a crime. And in the improbable event of Mr. Merriam's elec tion it is not unlikely we will see the day when innocent Maggie Morrises will be ooking out from behind prison bars while their assailants will be walking the streets, at liberty, and continue to be the liveried favorites of the bosses. THE TIME TO BUY. A recently published' paragraph an nounces the sale of the old South Mountain railroad for $50. Think of it! .50 for a railroad! The purchaser is a lucky man. The advantages of owning a railroad are too obvious for specification. There is positively nothing like it to give one a stand ing in the community, and when they can be had for the trifling sum of ,50, every- body should have one even if . he be com pelled to borrow the necessary capital to buy it. What would Vanderbilt or Gould or Ht* ntington amount to were it not for then: railroads? They all owe their high rank to their railroad proprietorships, and the man who for such a pittance will let an opportunity pass ;to put himself on the financial and philanthropical plane of such great men deserves to grovel at the foot of the ladder all his life. 7 It is besides a liberal education to own a railroad. It is an accepted fact that travel develops and enlarges the mental faculties, 'j I widens a man's perceptions and gets him _________________Hof narrow-mindedness and out of the rut coitnnonplacelsni. Rut to be able to travel on one's own road broadens him .in every way. It makes him' taller ami handsomer and fatter and larger around the chest and higher and mightier and more holy.' And all this for $50! We only wish we had the money. There is no uncompromising ticket agent to be faced, no haughty conductor, no in different brakeinan, no condescending porter, no train boy, no sandwiches, no pies all such experiences are unknown -to the man who rides on his own road. Again, for the father of a large family of girls, it would he an exceedingly wise in vestment to ]ii -base a few railroads at 350 to keep on, ha d for wedding presents. Nowadays, the proper caper for the old man, if he is well regulated, is a house and lot on St. Anthony hill or Dayton's bluff, costing all the way from 840,000 to $100, -000. This is regarded as fairly generous, and is duly so reported in all the papers. But what would the Jenkinses of the past say of the parent who calmly hands his daughter on her wedding morning a clear and exclusive title to a railroad! Yet, tak ing advantage of the present bargains in this commodity, the cost of such munifi cence would only about equal that of a finely-bound family Bible, which is also fre quently bestowed on such occasions. And the superiority of a railroad over a Bible is quickly discovered, for while the latter may be considered a passport to the world to come the former issues passes good for present use, and everybody knows the value of a bird in the hand. Anyway you put it, railroads are handy to have in the house. We would advise everybody to lay in a supply while they are cheap. . ;•■ -x-ZZr'Z Z The Pioneer Press on yesterday issued an "extra" containing a number of its editorials bearing on theinunicipaljcanvassnowin prog ress. As our contemporary forgot to include two of the most sensible and the best written articles that over appeared in its editorial columns, and bearing directly upon the can vass, the Globe does its neighbor the favor to produce the articles this morning, and we ask our readers to give them a careful pe rusal. One of them is an excellent and care ful review of Mr. Rice's record as mayor of St. Paul, and the other is a testimonial to the capacity and business qualifications of Comp troller Roche. We are always ready to aid a neighbor in distress, and we feel assured our contemporary will appreciate our kindness in supplying its ommiss'ous. There is no . more __uu-_riu^_ -'pooler" in this city than Mr. Merriam. He makes his money by speculating. With Merriam in the mayor's office and McCardy as comp troller the bonds of St. Paul would never bring 5 per cent, premium again. The lower they would sell the more money Mr. Merriam would make. That's the kind of a business reform the syndicate is after. The Brooklyn Eagle says that among other interesting questions awaiting an answer at the bar of public opinion is the question whether Miss Cleveland's new style of wear ing her hair Jin coils on the top of her head will become the prevailing fashion. The probabilities are that it will become very popular with bald-headed ladies. ; "Did you ever notice . how a woman takes the cork out of a bottle?',' asks an exchange. No, sir. We let the woman notice how we take the cork out of a bottle. No gentleman will stand idly by and let a woman j struggle to get a cork out of a bottle. It takes her too long. • The New York Graphic has given to a grateful public a picture of Gen. Grant's negro attendant. What has the public done that it shouldn't have a picture of the gen eral's cook as : well; and the chambermaid, and "boots," and all the rest? * Elizabeth Cadyt S-anxo.v argues in the North American Review that Christianity has done nothing for woman. Christianity is probably trying to get even with her for that little affair which took place in the Garden of Eden some yt»rs£cgo. -, -..■'■• *ZZZ 7;.V Gladstone asked parliament for a credit of $55,000,000 and got itwithout a word. Some men are born lucky. We might get down on all fours and ask parliament for that amount of money and it's dollars to hay seed, and we wouldn't get it. The Prince of Wales is colonel of six teen regiments. It is said to be a glorious sight to see Col. Wales leading these six teen regiments on to victory or death. The report that Harrison, "the boy preacher," and Susan B. Anthony, "the girl lecturer," are to be married is said to be without foundation. The plums begin to drop at Washington. Many of them are large and juicy enough to make the mouth of a Kentuckian water. Patti and Nevada have finally concluded to eat ice cream off the same plate, but even yet each one wants her own spoon. The Queen of May, like the Prince of Wales in Ireland, had a very cold reception this year. Miss Ada's Sweet dream of victory was of short duration. MENTION OF MEN. The Prince of Wales can order beer In the German language. Mr. Vauderbilt is said to sleep with a copy of Burkes Peerage under his pillow. Private Secretary Lamont occasionally smokes a corn-cob pipe. He knows what is good. Gen. Grant's physicians are feeling as well as could be expected under the circum stances. Lord Tennyson's latest struggle with the muse resulted in a poor specimen of waste basket poetry. Secretary Whitney wears eye-glasses on ac count of being near-sighted; not because "it's English, you know." Mr. Bissell of Buffalo, the president's law partner, weighs over 300 pounds, it is said, and is the proud possessor of three chins. Cleveland, Blame and Butler are the Christ ian names given to triplets in a Southern family. . So much for the brethren. The cis tern is probably called St. John. Dom Pedro, the emperor of Brazil, has reigned for fifty-three years— longer than any other living sovereign. He was but six years old when called to the throne. , "WORDS ABOUT WOMEN. Emma Abbott's kis3 has the rheumatism, according to an old-time osculator. • Queen Victoria will visit Ireland in the fall, just after the onion crop is gathered, When Minnie Hauk sings in Berlin the Em peror William attends the performance. The daughter of Secretary Bayard is a capital story-teller and a charming conversa tionalist. , Miss Emma Thursby will be three years older when she returns from her proposed trip to Europe. Mrs. Barrios, widow of the late president of Guatemala, has seven children and $8,000,000 worth of real estate. ' Mrs. Langtry has just added $10,000 to the sum invested by her in New York real estate, thus swelling the amount to §135,000. Tlie Home Journal says that Ellen Terry's visit to this country, has had considerable effect upon the style in American dress. t The widow Barrios had the reputation of being the most beautiful . girl in Guteainala when the general stole her from a convent. The empress of Austria, in spite of her thirty-one years of married life, recently "walked eighteen miles in one day in England. Jay Gould has appointed a woman as freight agent at Castletoh.Tnd., on the Detroit & Indianapolis division of the Wabash rail road. Knocking- the C-Uit Out. Minneapolis News Letter: Zi ■ The Globe is knocking . the hypocrisy and cant out of the St. Paul Kepublicans, who are conducting their local campaign on the . Min neapolis plan. SCINTILLATIONS OF WIT. THE EPIC- in love. Oh, ne'er was a maid like this lovely young AZ-KfjV'-' maiden 7l^_P^_^_fiSBßB^pp^fßS__! ' I loved long ago in that far youth of mine; j Her cheeks wore as red as the coral of lobster, j Hersparkllng eyes glinted with deep lights of wine. Her hair was as brown as the quail's russet plumage, The , perfumes of Araby came from her mouth, And her lips ripe and full and doliciously .... tempting, .'.*••'- • Recalled early strawberries fresh from the South. And ne'er, was a spring like the- spring that I wooed her; Its memory lingers though now I am old On that grass lay the hue of the tender new lettuce; Those sunsets were gilded with mayonnaise gold. ■. 7^Ptp&S_s_S!_^_s The planked shad were boneless, the spring ■ lamb was youthful, .', • The water cross fresh with the dew of the . brook; The sweetbreads cooked wholly, the cro quettes all chicken — In the days when we both read from love's open book. two busy BUSINESS men. First Business Man Well- how is busi ness, old man? Second Business — First rate. . We have only a hall bedroom left and my wife thinks she will be able to fill that this week. How is everything with you? First Business Man— Splendid. ' We are always busy at this season of the year. The women must have spring millinery, you know. What do you say to a game of billiards? _B9b_^_- Second Business Man— l was about to propose the same thing myself. HARDLY WORTH MENTIONING. , St. Louis Citizen— That -Teller . murder was a terrible affair. • " .-. 7, -.;;,":. Chicago Citizen— What murder? V,."' St. Louis Citizen The Preller murder, at the Southern hotel. '■•-•*. ■>.'- •• '■'•'•■ *.' Chicago Citizen (indifferently)— Oh, yes, I believe I did hear something about it. Yes, it was a bad affair for St. Louis; but in a large city like Chicago the killing of only one man is looked upon as rather a tame affair. t . ■ '-. ,„ , f ■_ Bob Ingersoll ought to think well of the Bible. If it were not for the good book he would not be able to clear* sloo a night. •; ''i. The disease which has troubled Gen. Grant was not cancer. It was "doctors." ' .,.7 f". MAKING SLOW PROGRESS. A new York paper complains that in stantaneous photographs cannot be taken. It says that the camera lias to be exposed one two hundred and fiftieth part of a sec ond, and that that is as near instantaneity as the inventors have come. The New York paper does well to complain. There is nothing more tiresome than to be compelled to sit in a cramped position, with a ghostly glare in your eyes and the back of your head clasped in a pair of tongs for one two hun dred and fiftieth part of a second. If the inventors cannot shorten this long wait to a reasonable period they had better give up inventing and go to work for a living. BETWEEN THE HORNS OF A DILEMMA Friend (to great actor) How are you succeeding in your new play? Great Actor— Bad business right along. The fact is I have become so identified with the character of Hamlet that the public won't let me play anything else. Friend— Why don't you stick to Hamlet, then? Great Actor ßecause the [ public .won't come to see me any more. : Zi'x -'' *■ ; COMING ATTRACTIONS. "That is rather a good picture of Bob Ingersoll," said a husband, handing a news paper to his wife. ■;:. "And is that Mr. Ingersoll?" ". she asked in surprise, indicating a picture with her finger. ;\.-;.. xZ Ji x.J "No," he replied, "that ; is • Jo-Jo, the dog-faced boy. Ingersoll's picture is just above it. They both show here' next week."; Mary Anderson has sold her steam yacht- Galatea, and given up the .idea of being nautical. (For nautical read naughty gal, and there's your chestnut.) TO BE DRANK WITH ENTHUSIASM. ' 'Gentlemen, "said an after-dinner speaker, "I offer the toast, 'The advancement ' of ; our public school system and the encour agement, both by precept and , (hie) exam ple, of tlie moral and intellectual education of the young.' I call upon Prof. Blackboard to respond. Gentlemen, let there be no (hie) heel taps.". . QUICKNESS OP repartee. 7.'; 7v Mr.De Dhumme (just introduced)—- Aw — fine da'ay we've had Mi.ss-er-ei*-S 4 mith? " ) .■ Miss Smith (tired already)— Yes. - Mr. De Dhumme — Aw — fair to be fine to-mowwah Miss-er-Smith. t Miss Smith (more tired) Yes, but don't you think the weather is rather a dry sub ject for conversation, Mr-er-De | Dhumme? Mr. De Dhumme (brilliantly) — Aw— hot when the weathaw is wet, Miss-er-Smith. BY THE SEA. The air was soft .as woman's touch, The breeze was flower laden: Beside the sea we slowly strolled, I and that lovely maiden. The sky was calm, all earth serena, One of life's dreamy phases; But I alas! with anguish filled My new shoes pinched like blazes. When a young man offers himself to a girl in an upright position, is it a standing offer or must an answer be given at once. A friend who is in trouble wants to know. hardly WORTH witnessing. -.- A rural citizen of the Southwest who had been to town attended a dance in the even ing and assisted at an execution the follow ing morning. He was asked if he had had a pleasant time. "Well," he said in a qualified tone of voice, "the dance was pleasant enough for knock-down-and-drag-outs,. and two ladies shot— but the hanging was 'bout the tamest affair I ever seen." PREPARING FOR THE JtOHROW. "There, "exclaimed a fanner's wife wear ily, as she sank into a chair, "I'm through at last. From 4 o'clock in the morning un til 10 at night is a long day's work." "Indeed it is," replied the fanner sym pathizingly. "You must be "very tired.; You had better darn a few pair of stock ing and go to bed, so as to be fresh for to morrow." A DIAGNOSIS. John Bull (to physician)— Have you seen the premier, doctor. Physician Yes ." • John Bull — What seems to be the matter with him lately? Physician Spring fever. UNDER A CRAZY QUILT. He slept and dreamt that the kangaroo Had given a fancy ball; Tlie elephant came with the festive gnu, The mouse with the ostrich tall. A funny giraffe, that did nothing but laugh, Dropped in with a centipede; • . And a cricket and flea that had just been to tea, Waltzed round with remarkable speed. A wasp and a bumble-bee had a chat Just over his little nose; And a boa constrictor upon tbe mat. Dressed up in his Sunday Clothes. . A crow and a raccoon, in a fire balloon, Paused over his bed to sing; And a neat armadillo crept up ou his ■S pillow ' ■ ■ To dance the Highland fling. Then all, ere they left, made a graceful . bow, And out in the moonlight, sped; Except a ponderous briudle cow, 7 Which stooped to stand on its head, The little boy woke and grinned at the joke, Sprang out of his bed with a lilt; "I can dream it all over," said he, "while they cover Me up in this crazy quilt." . '-. —George Cooper. High Society Shocked. Baltimore, May 2.— High society cir cles are again agitated by the filing of a bill for divorce bySailie V. Thompson, against her husband, Charles Thompson, on grounds of adultery with Miss Carrie Moore, - a young lady well-known in Baltimore.' who went astray recently. The plaintiff is the daughter of Richard Hardesby, one of Bal timore's most prominent and wealthiest re tired merchants. She is a beautiful women, and at the time of her , marriage, eight years ago, was the recognized belle of the most aristocratic social, circles. The 'de fendant is also highly "connected ami has $100,000 in government bonds, which were left him in his lifetime by his uncle. The third party involved in the suit has gained much notoriety since her downfall. She is of good family, but quite 7 unprepossessing in appearance, besides being lame. The evidence of guilt against * Thompson and Miss Moore is conclusive. Realizing this fact he makes no denial. The wife has re turned to her parents' home and Thompson to the residence of hi* mother on Chase street, opposite the mansion of ex-Governor Whyte. :*-<>. _•_<•.•■, UPRISING. Protesting Against Persecution— Some Startling Declarations. : Salt Lake, May 2.— Meetings were held throughout Utah, Idaho and Arizona to-day, at all the Mormon tabernacles, at which a "Declaration of Grievances and, Protest," which had been formulated at a general conference of the Mormon church, April 5, was read. The declaration is ad dressed to the president and people of the United States. It begins by saying: A con dition of affairs imperiling tiie vital interests of a' vast majority of the people of Utah and their co-religionists in neighboring states and territories impels us, their representa tives, to address you. Our rights as Amer ican citizens are trampled upon, and be lieving it our imperative duty, in the pres ence of such a danger, to protest against the gigantic evil which threatens not our liberties, but the liberty of every free man, we, in general mass meeting assembled, in the name of freedom, justice and humanity, make this appeal for relief and pro tection. If we are unpopular with our fellow-countrymen, it is our religion which makes us so. We are a small minor ity in their midst, but we haye yet to learn that these are grounds upon which to jus tify, in a land of liberty, the ACTS OF OPPRESSION wnich we as a people from the beginning of our history have been made to suffer. As to our religious faith, it is based upon evi dence which to our minds is con clusive, convictions not to be de stroyed- by legislative enactment or judicial decisions. Force may enslave the body but it cannot convince the mind to yield at the demand of legislature, or judge the rights of conscience, which would prove us recreant to every duty we owe to God and man. Among the principles of our religion is that of immediate revelation from God. One of the doctrines so revealed is celestial or plural marriage, for which os tensibly we are stigmatized and hated. This is a vital part of our religion, the decisions of courts to the contrary notwithstanding. The declaration, then, in defending' the practice of polygamy, declares the practice as understood among occidental nations is a system of sensuality; but the Latter Day Saints believe the marriage is one which, when properly solemnized, exists in eter nity. " Every faithful woman in the church believes that in order to _3_fl INSURE HER EXALTATION in the presence of God she should be mar ried or sealed to an upright, faithful man. The declaration then says: "Acting upon this belief, <these alliances are formed while on the earth, on the principle that the man is not without the woman- nor the woman without the man in the Lord. They fii nnly believe that God has revealed this to them as a command, but while patriarchal mar riage, as it is termed, is a part of • their faith and practice, they have no idea that it should become universal. . The equality of the sexes, if no other reason, would pre vent this. It is a mistaken idea that our church favors the propagation of this doc trine or seeks to establish as a universal system. At the same time we fully believe that women should be married, even if two or three of them as in the family of Abraham, Jacob and, others, become wives of one man. Instead, therefore, Of our system of marriage *7"\ .. PROMOTING SENSUALITY, experience has proved that it checks it, and instead of being destructive of family rela tion, it is preservative of it. The declara tion then asserts that the Edmunds law, which provides for the punishment of polyg amy, but also cohabitation with more than one woman, whether in marriage relation or outside of it is made to operate upon one class of people — the Mormons and ye. of the non-Mormon class, who trans gress the law, their name is legion. The male paramour of the . mistress and harlot, secure from prosecution, walk the streets in open day. No United States official puts a "spotter" on his trail or makes an effort to drag his deeds of shame and guilt before a judge and jury for investigation and punishment, but note the contrast; The Utah, Idaho and Arizona concerted assault is made upon the "Mormon" peo ple. "Spotters" and spies dog their foot steps. Delators thrust themselves into "7 - BED CHAMBERS, and watch at windows. . Children are ques tioned upon the streets as to the material relations of their Qparents. Families are dragged before commissioners and grand juries, and on pain of punishment for con tempt are compelled to testify against their fathers and husbands. Modest woman are made to answer shameful, indecent questions as to the sexual relations of men and women. Attempts are made to bribe men to work up cases against their neigh bors. Notoriously disreputable characters are employed to spy into a man's family relation." The document concludes by protesting against these forms of abuse ami closes by saying: ' 'We respectfully ask for the appointment by the president of a com mission to fairly and thoroughly investigate the Utah situation, and, pending its report, we solemnly protest against the continu ance of this merciless crusade." Grant Works on His Book. New York, May 2. — "The general worked on his book to-day," said Col. Fred Grant, "for over two hours, and will, on Monday, resume the dictating, after which he will take four or five days rest, collecting data for future dictation. This will. I hope, finish the work. Of course several re visions will be necessary, but the general is so concise that it will not be much." A statement has appeared in one of the papers that the general has resumed smoking again. Is such the case?" "No," said the colonel. "There is not a word of truth in the matter. A few days ago the doctors told father if he wanted to smoke a cigar he might do so, but he has not and will not do so. Perhaps some parties who have seen me at the win dow smoking may have mistaken me for father, but the story is cut out of whole cloth. . The general's condition is the same. although the swelling in his throat lias increased very perceptibly. The pain has not increased very materially. We kept the doctor last night at father's solicitation, though he is no worse to-night. 1 will have to keep all visitors from him in the future. I cannot tell what the state of his throat is at present. After the consul tation to-morrow we will know definitely what progress the disease has made. lie is cheerful and I think will progress even better than before when his book is finished. I want you to contradict the story about the smoking in the most positive terms." Dr. Douglas came at 10 o'clock and will stay all night. . Cattlemen in a Ko.v. San Antonio, Tex., May 2.— -There is trouble brewing between the cattlemen of North and South Texas. North Texas cat tlemen propose to establish a quarantine against all cattle south of the line of 'the Texas & Pacific railway track. A special meeting of the executive committee for the Southwestern Live Stock association (which is one of the largest and strongest associa tions in the United States) was held here yesterday: with closed doors. The Pan Handle quarantine was the subject of dis cussion. It is not yet known what action was, determined upon, but the spirit of Sionthem Texas cattlemen is that no such arbitrary line as the one proposed can be maintained. A Scandinavian Banquet. New York, May 2.— The Scandinavian residents of New York tendered a banquet to the newly-appointed minister to Den mark, Prof. Rasmus B. Anderson of Chi cago; at the Hotel Hungarian to-night. Prof. Hjalmar Hjorth Boyeson made the speech of. welcome. Prof. Anderson re sponded, saying that he was going to Co penhagen with an honest purpose to , serve his country and his . fatherland. After the dinner a public reception was held in Bee thoven hall. \ ; IMPORTANT LAND CASE The Sioux Oity Land Question of 6,000 Acres Decided in Favor of the Government. -\ ' . The Volume of Business Out of St, Paul and Minneapolis Last Week. Reported Light. Cut Bates Demoralizing _vrorthwest« crn Business — The St. Paul __ Northern Pacific Short -Line. Sioux City Land Case. Special to the Globe. Washixgtox, May 2.— the case o*_ the St. Paul & Sioux City Railway company vs. the United States, involving certain particularly described tracts (aggregating upward of 6, 000 acres) of land in the Worth ington, Minn., district, which was an ap peal from the decision of ex-Commissione. McFarland, the secretary of the interior decided in favor of the government. The -Jew Northern Pacific Line. A story has been going the rounds to the effect that the St. Paid & Northern Paciiic would build a new union depot upon the hay market site in Minneapolis on the comple tion of its short line from that city to St. Paul. This and much more of what is to follow' has been denied by the officials of. the road, but the rumor.-* have become so rife that not to mention them would be a scoop by the public. The extremest form in which the story ap pears is that two blocks, Nos. 14 and 15, ol the city plat have already been purchased and are now held on behalf of the company. The road will run east along the Minneap olis & St. Louis right-of-way to the river, coming to B street and following that thor oughfare to and across University avenue. Then it swerves slightly to the south, pass ing out of tlie city limits in section 80 and across a quarter of a mile of inter-urban tract into St. Paul, so as to cross the St. Paul Transfer and Trade short line at & junction of the latter with the transfer trade. From this point it passes through section 28 and 27, parallel to and a quarter of a mile north of the Manitoba road into the city. It is from a point in section 28, a short distance this side of Snelling avenue, that the Manitoba road is striking off from its main line almost north toward the lair grounds. About a quarter of a mile of moderate grade would bring it to a point of intersection with the St. Paul & Northern Pacific, and it is toward this point of inter section that the latter is pushing its way with such unusual energy. As the plan stands a present,. the following roads are asserted to be parties to the combination: The Northern Pacific, the St. Paul & Northern Pacific, the Chicago, Milwaukee & St.' Paid, the Minneapolis & St. Louis, the Chicago.Freeport & St. Paid (probably), the Winona, Alma & Northern (Chicago, Burlington & Quincy connection), and the Minnesota & Northern. A special to the Globe yesterday announced the Minne apolis & St. Louis had joined the St. Paul & Northern Pacific in the enterprise. This has been, however, positively denied. Decrease in Freight Business. The trade for the week in railroads lias been much lighter than it was for the same time last season. Tlie volume of traffic by the Eastern trunk lines westward bound showed a slight advance over the previous week, though the increase did not bring the total up to that of the corresponding week of 1884. Some surprise was felt at this by" .the officials of the fines as they naturally supposed the cutting of west-bound rates would have a stimula ting influence on business. But it was other wise, the cut rates demoralized business out of St. Paul, especially the lumber traffic, as Chicago firms had the advantage of cheap rates and could share the profit with pur chasers. This, of course, confined nearly all business to Chicago and Milwaukee and the business men at points in the Northwest could only watch the business go and coma and pray for better times. The cutting ou west-bound freights is particularly aggra vating to the wholesale merchants of ' St. Paul and Minneapolis, some of them claiming that the roads did some cut ting to local points on their lines, and Chi cago jobbers supplied a number of their customers. Yesterday rates to Stillwater were put on the same basis from Chicago and Milwaukee as those in effect to St. Paul and Minneapolis, 10 cents per 100 pounds, regardless of classification. Dur ing the week immigration travel was heav ier: than it has been any time yet this season. The Milwaukee road receives the majority of the salt water arri vals from the Pennsylvania road, which controls that business from New York to Chicago, and the Milwaukee therefore led in the passenger traffic to St. Paul, while the other lines did a fair business in the travel from the eastern states and Canada to points in Manitoba and the Northwest. Things will look up on the Manitoba and Northern Pacific roads as the wheat begins to move again. Along the latter line about 2,000, -000 bushels of wheat is still in the elevators, which will mostly be taken out duriugMay. Why the Tripartite Agreement Was Mr. Calloway of the Union Pacific read states that his company intends to stand by the tripartite contract, believing that it is necessary for its future welfare. Without such an agreement the Union-Pacific would be at the mercy of its competitors. In the event that the four Hues running to Coun cil Bluffs . were to combine and decide to give all their bussness to the Burlington & Missouri • . road the Union Pacific could not get any business out of Chicago at all. * The same is the case with the Bock Island and Milwaukee & St. Paul. They have no • lines west of the Missouri river, and the Burlington - & Quincy and the Northwestern roads, which have" such lines, could combine with the Union Pacific and prevent them from getting any business from points west of the Missouri river, and in order to live they would be compel led to extend... their .lines as far west as those of their competitors. This is virtually the reason why the tripar tite agreement was made to prevent the building of new and necessary lines. The Northwestern pooled its Tremont, Elkhorn & Missouri Valley and Sioux City & Pacific business until it became the owner of those lines, when it refused to report to the pool business originating on those lines, and to avoid any disturbance the Union Pacific asked to have the case decided by arbitra tion. •„ On An Even Basis. Arbitrator lliland of the Chicago, St Louis & Missouri River Passenger associ ation gives notice that at a meeting of the general passenger agents of that association, it was resolved that the passenger business through St. Paul to points west of and in cluding Oregon Short- junction be put upon the same basis as rates through Council Bluffs and Kansas City by the Chi cago, St. Louis & Missouri Biver Passenger association (manager's agreement), and that the general managers be requested to ratify this arrangement and put it into effect as soon as may be. This resolution having been ratified by the general managers of the lines interested, notice is given that the above agreement will be effective on and after May 4. l yxZ Cuttiiijr to Pacific Coast. It is reported that the Pacific roads, es pecially the Union Pacific, are cutting pas senger .rates in a lively manner. Mixed class tickets from Chicago to San Francisco, which have heretofore sold for 860, the lowest price, are now being sold openly at 845. . The fare from Council Bluffs to San Francisco, third class, is down to 830, a cut of 815. It is believed cutting cannot help extending to first-class tickets. The cutting is said to be directed against the Pacific Mail company. , Seized the Liquor. Muscatine, la., May 2. Under the search and seiznre clause of the prohibitory law sixty-two barrels of liquor were seized by the Temperance alliance here to-day. The trial of Richard' Short for the at tempted assassination of Capt. Phelan was continued at New York. . After securing eleven jurors the court adjourned until Monday.