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VOL. XII. THORNY IS HIS PATH. Troubles of the Man Who Sells Ribbons, Buttons and Other Feminine Goods. How His Life Is Made Unto Him a Burden by the Shopper. Peculiarities and Practices of the Woman Who Shops, But Buys Not. Wherein She Differs From Her Sister Who Goes to Stores to Purchase. "Can I show you something, mad am?" "Yes, I would like to look at some of your summer silks." How many times every day is that or similar questions answered in the big stores along Nicollet avenue? Not less than a score. How often are the clerk's politeness and engaging smile rewarded by a good-sized purchase? Much less frequently, certainly, than by the re mark: "Well, I don't want anything to-day. I'll be in in a day or two and take some off that piece there." She is gone, never to return, at least to purchase, and her place is immedi ately filled by another daughter of Eve who goes through the same formula. The lady just mentioned Is the pro fessional "shopper," and she forms a numerous class in every large city. They make the rounds of the stores, pester the clerk, make him pull every piece of goods in his department from the shelves, turn up their aristocratic noses at everything shown them, make cutting remarks about there never being ••anything fit to buy in this place," crush the poor clerk with a stony glare should he dare offer a suggestion as to the value or good qualities of some certain piece of goods, and finally stalk majestically out of the store, to go through the same performance else where, while the wearied and exasper ated clerk is left with nothing to com fort him but the sharp command of the floor- walker to "clear up that counter, and don't disgrace the store with euch slouchiness." This is the — not daily, but hourly— experience of the retail clerk, especially the one who stands behind the counter of an estab lishment patronized by ladies. He al ways smiles, however, somewhat me chanically, it is true, but still a smile, for it is his business to look pleasant, even though, like Prince Lorenzo before he secured the mascot, he hide a poig nant care within his jovial exterior. In course of time,however,especially if he has a grain of philosophy in his brain, he becomes accustomed to that sort of thing and begins to expect it V^poiMEimi 11 n ii'dllli^S *)r Him LJ! H,-i"S y — mi —"ir^ —^ ltoi ' 1 Jy*^}%x \ s EEADY FOR BUSINESS. He becomes, too, more or less of aa observer, and learns to read at a glance the characteristics, in so far as they pertain to shopping, of every lady who enters the store, as soon a« she ap proaches his counter. There is something about the professional shopper, the poise of her head, the scornful glance of her eye as she lets her gaze wander over the displayed fabrics, the contemp tuous curve of the lip and elevation of the olfactory organ, the careless mstle of her skirts, the general air of Buper ciliousness, carelessness, curiosity and I-am-bound-not-to-be-suitedness, all combined, which reveals her to the ex perienced eye of the clerk before she has ever parted her lips to carelessly inquire: "I want to look at some dress goods patterns." She sits down calmly upon a red plush stool, deposits her parasol upon another, leans gracefully against the counter and begins to enjoy herself. The shopper, however, seldom goes In pursuit of the pleasure alone. It is her delight to take a companion with her, also a shopper, because it is so much easier for two to keep the clerk busy, to exasperate him and to make cruel, cut ting, castigating observations on the general worthlessness of the fabrics ehown. They may be seen, these shop pers and inspirers of suicide, in any large store in Minneapolis. Even if the waiting clerk has become an adept in "sizing up" his customers as theytapproach, he can none the more escape from the shoppers, especially if < TBIED TO DO BUSINESS. they be In pairs. He must not make short answers. He would be instantly reported as insolent and promptly "fired." lie cannot gaze upon them with lofty and crushing contempt. They are too experienced for that sort of thing. They pay him back in his own '/coin with compound interest ; for one man whose salary is dependent, in a Daily MINNEAPOLIS EDITION, Globe. measure, upon his politeness, is but a puppet in the hands of a pair of old 6tagers who are up to all the tricks of their peculiar custom. "Here is a new pattern in summer silks, warranted to be fast colors and of good wearing qualities. It is becoming very popular," mildly suggests the clerk, who is becoming wearied with running up and down the step-ladder after eighty-seven different styles of goods. "I don't want that stuff," snaps Mrs. Shopper, while her eyes pierce the un happy clerk. "It'll fade inside of two days. Slimpsy stuff, too, and I don't want anything that everybody else wears." "That wouldn't suit your complexion, either, my dear," chimes in Mrs. Hop per. "Ask him to show us some of that up there in that corner," and away up the step-ladder goes the salesman with a faint hope, doomed to destruction, wandering around his heart. "No. that wpn'tdo," firmly ejaculates Mrs. Hopper. "It hasn't the same color, now that I see it in the light. What is that piece up there on the top shelf?" Down it comes, for the clerk is but a slave, anyhow, and down comes the de sired article. "Worse than the other," is the com ment of Mas. Hopper. "I guess you haven't anything that 1 want." "Sorry we cannot satisfy you, ladies. Perhaps if you would tell me just what you want I could show it to you," mildly interposes the much-abused man. "None of your impudence, young man," is Mrs. Shopper's stern retort. "You haven't a thing in the store fit to be seen on any woman," and she turns angrily away. "If tney don't want our patronage here, of course we can go elsewhere," loftily observes Mrs. Hopper. "Come, Eliza. We'll go down to Loom & Spin dle's. Customers are not insulted there." And away the outraged females saunter diernifiedly, while the floor-* walker, who overheard the last remark, slowly remarks: "Mr. Mildly, if you can't treat our customers with respect we must dis pense with your services. Clear up that counter." That is the every-day experience of the clerk. No small wonder that his hair becomes' streaked with gray, that lines appear upon his smooth brow, that he becomes sour toward the world. Some day the papers chronicle the sui cide of Arthnr Mildly, and the last few lines of the Item read: "Mr. Mildly was employed as sales man at the silk counter in Surah & Co.'s store and seemed to be doing well. No one can offer any explanation for his suicide," There is the widest difference imag inable between the woman who visits the stores for the pleasure to be derived from shoppine: and the one who goes there to purchase. The latter knows what she wants— and she usually wants a good deal— she selects it in a few min utes and goes home. The shopper never wants anything —and when she does she goes over to St. Paul to buy it — but she tumbles over more goods than a dozen purchasers would, secures sev eral samples if she can, and goes back home to make over her old last year's gown. While shopping she is forever kicking. Occasionally she bo far for gets herself as to purchase, mayhap a sdool of thread or a paper of pins or a stick of tape, does it with an air of con descension worthy of a princess and then asks to have it delivered. She is the pest of the merchant, but he is powerless against her because, as a rule, she is possessed of a not over scrupulous tongue and she might injure the merchant's business. She flourishes as the green bay tree, and there seems to be no relief from her peculiar orac tlces until the millennium has become an accomplished fact. FOR THE NEW STATION. Poster & Smith Secure the Con tract—Police Commission Busi ness. The police commission met yesterday with Mayor Babb in the chair and cleared up some business, including the letting of the contract for ouilding the North side station. The bid of Foster & Smith was the lowest received, $12, --482, and that firm was awarded the con tract.JThis does not include the heatnig and plumbing of the station. Bids upon that work have not been received yet, but enough has been ascertained as to the cost to warrant the commis sion in saying that the re mainder of the $14,500 appropriation will be sufficient to pay for it, so that the completed building will cost not more than the sum already provided. It was decided to make some changes in the central station. Bath rooms will be added to the gymnasium on the third floor and to the matron's room and some repairing done. The contract for this work was let to George S. Lyon for $160. Theo C. Thorbergson, patrolman on the North side, was up before the commis sion on a charge of drunkenness. He was alleged to have been met by Capt. Buerfenning while on his way to report for duty and he was in such a condition as to be unfit for duty. He was fined $10 and reprimanded by the president of the board. QUITE AN HONOR Conferred Upon the Delegate of Typographical Union No. 42. Members of Minneapolis Typographi cal Union No. 42 are highly pleased that A. J. Mullen, their delegate to the International Typographical union, which met last week at Atlanta, Ga., has been chosen as one of the four dele- f\.J.jAvu-£M.> gates to the American Federation of Labor. Mr. Mullen is a young man, and the honor is a high compliment to his ability and the esteem in which he is held by his fellow-craftsmen. He was bom and educated at Madison, Ind., and has resided in St. Paul and Minne apolis for the past ten years. He has always taken an active interest in mat ters pertaining to the union, and was one of the founders of Omaha Typo graphical union. Andrew R. Potter, as surviving part ner of the firm of Baker, Potter & Co., seeks to recover his interest In certain real estate owned by the firm of Baker, Porter & Co., in which he claims an interest. He asks for an accounting from the executors of George R. Baker, deceased, and claims that the surviving debts of the firm amount to sufficient to exhaust Ms interest which, is one third, SAINT PAUL, MINN., SUNDAY MORNING, JUNE 15, 1890.— TWENTY PAGES. WHAT THEY WILL DO. Aldermen Who Want to Rep resent Their Wards Once More. Some Would Like to Go to the Legislature, and One to Be a Judge. Interesting Factional Fights Will Be the Order in Sev eral Districts. The Republican Majority in the Council Will Be Ma terially Decreased. The fact that only one member of the council is to be elected from each ward at the coming November election has been sufficient cause for many of the as pirants for public honors to commence to get their wires in position ready to pull them when the proper time arrives for "fixing" the several caucuses. At present the city council consists of three aldermen from each ward, or thirty-nine members; but after January next the membership will be reduced to thirty six. Now there are four Democratic and thirty-five Republican members; but, from the present indications, the next city council will contain at least nine Democrats. It is possible that Democrats will be returned from the First, Third, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh wards, al though the Republicans still have some hope of returning some of the present members. In the First ward John T. McGowan, Democrat, holds over, and the terms of Joseph lugenhutt and Fred Brueshaber Jr. expire. Ingenhutt has been prominently mentioned as sen ator from the district which is composed of the First and Second wards; and, as the nomination is equivalent to an election it is very probable that he will accept. Since the boodle charges have been made Brueshaber has taken but little part in active politics, although everybody feels sure that when his case comes to trial it can only end In an ac quittal; still the leaders fear that if he is nominated the opposition may make political capital out of the charges, and he will probably be compelled to stand aside for John Fleetham. President E. M. Johnson, of the council, holds over, and both Fred Barrows and Vernon M. Smith would like to return to their seats. As Mr. Barrows lives in the same end of the Second ward with John son, it is possible Mr. Smith will be the man selected. The Third ward will re turn a Democrat, without doubt. John A. Gilman can succeed himself if he wants to, but Mr. Gilman says he has had all of political life he wants. Charles P. Eustad would like to return, but as he is a Republican, and the ward is now Democratic, he stands but little show of election even if he secures the nomination. There may be lively times in the Fourth ward. E. G. Potler is the four year man and a prospective candidate for mayor, but he will not resign his office unless he is elected to preside over the meetings of the board of police com missioners, and that isn't very likely. Emerson Cole wants to go to the legisla ture, and, as he stands in with the peo ple who dictate to the voters who their candidates shall be.he may get the nom ination, which, barring accident, means an election. S. B. Loye will probably be nominated to succeed himself; but, as many of the younger element of the party have not yet forgiven him for his opposition to the base ball park, Henry Morse, who will probably be the Demo cratic choice.stands an excellent chance of election. Thomas Downs and Dr. Henry Brazie are the retiring members from the Fifth ward. Mr. Downs has a hobby, and he proposes to ride it for all it is " worth. He wants * Minueanolis to have a board of public works, and he will make a strong fight for the legislature with that end in view. Should he fail in securing the nomination or election. he would accept a position on the board of public works as soon as it was cre ated. Dr. Brazie will be a candidate for re-election, provided he secures the nomination. He wants the city to build a new city hospital on the university grounds, and as a physician and council man he has taken a keen interest in the project. The Democrats will probably nominate Alonzo Phillips, and sliouldhe accept the nomination, Dr. Brazie might as well make up his mind tft retire. Both John A. Swanson and Chris El lingsen would like to succeed themselves as aldermen from the Sixth ward, and with a fight in prospect it is more than likely that Clarence John son or N. O. Sunday or some unknown who represents tariff: reform will quietly walk away with the prize. Thiugs promise to be rather mixed in the Republican ranks in the Seventh ward. John H. Parry is the four year man in the council, but some of the Re publican leaders would like to have him out of the way, as his career as an alderman has not been so brilliant as was hoped for. It is barely possible that he will be offered the nomination for the legislature, provided he will re sign his seat in the council. This would make a place on the ticket for J. M. Meloy and Ole P. Flatten, both of whom are anxious to return. Should Parry refuse to retire in the interest of harmony there will be a bitter fight be tween the two retiring members, which will probably result in the election of Thomas P. Dwyer or some other good Democrat. Out in the Eighth ward there are al ready two combinations. One slate names Dr. F. E. Hansen for alderman, Ed Torrence for the senate and Judson N. Cross for representative. The other slate is J. C. Sterling for alderman, John Day Smith for the senate and At torney Crooker for representative. Both sides are firm, and from the present out look there is but little chance for a com promise, and should the fight be kept up George Cooley might slip into the council, with Parris, Democrat, a good second. In the Ninth ward J. H. Brad ish is the four-year man, but he would like very much to be addressed as "judge," and he will make something or a canvass for the nomination for judge of the probate court. Should he secure the nomina tion he will probably resign his seat in the council and leave a clear field for Erick Rhode and Herman Voet. But their election is conceded to be doubtful, and it is generally thought that John Kerr, who led the Democratic ticket two years ago, will be elected if he is given the nomination. It is al most certain that the Tenth ward will return a Democrat in place of William J. Bui-sell and Benjamin H. Billings. Mr. Bursell will probably receive the Republican nomination, but he can be defeated easily by either Henry Oswald or F. A. Schwartz, who was defeated by Vincent Reeves at the last election by oaly one vote. Both Jay W. Phillips and. Otto A. Fultz would like to return from the Eleventh ward, and probably both will make a hard fight for the nomination. As Mr. Fultz has a large following from the Milwaukee shops he will probably be successful in the caucus but his election is by no means assured. Ex-Aid. Jacob Stoft has a great many friends in the Republican party, and should he be nominated by the Democrats there is but little doubt but what he would re ceive a handsome majority. W. B. Woodward, the four-year man from the Twelfth ward, is happy because he does not have to hustle for a renomination this year. J. E. Vaudewaker and A. S. Adams, the retiring aldermen, both want to go back, but Mr. Vandewaker is keeping a sharp eye on the legisla tive fight, and will probably have some votes in the caucus, but whether or not they will be enough to nom inate him for representative can not be told just yet. Of course, if he is nominated for the legislature he will withdraw from the councilmanic contest, but there are plenty of others to take his place, as W. B. Boardman, Dr. Asyre and Cal Gil man have entered the fight to stay, while Caleb Tiugley is spoken of as the probable Democratic nominee. George H. Warren, of the Thirteenth ward, would like to represent his district in the legislature, and will perhaps be the candidate. James S. Gray can have the nomination to succeed himself if he wants it, but as he is disgusted with the attempts which have been made to secure a market for Minneapolis he will probably refuse another term in the council and .settle down to business. There are several aspirants for his seat, but none of special prominence. THE LAST DAIS HUSTLE. Minneapolis Census Enumerators Get Excited, and Ask Embar assing Questions. "ARE YOU A HOMELESS CHILD?" "ABE YOU MARRIED OB SINGLE!" >V^ I *) f< "HOW MANY CHILDREN ABE YOU THE FATHER OF?" This of Our Exhibit. Luther Stleringer, the well known expert, who has been called upon by the management of the Minneapolis ex position to assist in the preparation of the electrical plans this year, returned to this city yesterday en route for the South, where he will enjoy a brief va cation. As Is already known, the main feature of the exhibition will be the Edison exhibit from Paris, .recently displayed at the Lenox lyceum. This, however, will be supplemented by some special novel ties, and the "Tower of Light" effects will be repeated, though upon a scale that is far beyond anything yet at tempted. If the plans are only carried out, even approximately, the effects at the Lenox will be cast into utter insig nificance. Minneapolis is fortunate in having such an opportunity, and there is no doubt that the exhibition will in terest and attract the whole Northwest. POPULAR POLICEMEN. Patrolman John Gorey, who for the past three years has been attached to the central station squad and looked xlaßM...VAQftgr after the mill lons of prop erty on Nicol let avenue, is a M i n n c apolis boy. John was born on Grand street, St. An thony, Nov. 25, 1858, and still resides within a short jdistanceof the 'place in which he first saw the Jteht of day. He received a fair education in the public schools, and that, added to his good com mon sense and sturdy phy sique, lias made him a valuable addition to the po lice force. He is a lumberman by trade, having mastered the business, and he is equally at home in the woods, on the drive or in the saw mill. He was ap pointed to the police force by Mayor Ames on April 19, 1888, and assigned to the East side station. For several years he was stationed on Nicollet island, and played an important part in ridding that locality of the disorderly characters that made that place their stamping ground. Ever attentive to duty, he is alike popular with both the merchants aud his brother officers. IN HONOR OF WILSON. His Bust Will Adorn the Prettiest Park in Minneapolis. The members of the Hennepin county bar met iii the law library in Temple Court yesterday afternoon to take some action on the proposition of erecting a statue of the late E. M. Wilson. E. A. Campbell was chosen charman, and Frank Healy secretary. J. Fjelde, the sculptor, was present and submitted a bust of the deceased lawyer modeled in clay. No opportunity was offered Mr. Fjelde to secure a cast of Mr. Wilson's features, so the whole of the work had to be done from photographs, but the model has been viewed by the fam ily of the dead lawyer, and they have expressed themselves as well satisfied with the result. Mr. Fjelde explained to the meeting that there are two processes for repro ducing the cast in bronze. The first one is called the "ciene per dv," and by it the clay model is covered with wax,over which the cast in bronze is made, the wax being afterward melted out, leav ing a perfect reproduction of the origi nal. By this process the bust would cost about $4,000. By the ordinary pro cess the bust can be turned out for|3,ooo. After listening to Mr. Fjelde's propo sition, the lawyers decided to commis sion the sculptor to prepare a bust, of heroic size, which will be mounted upon a pedestal ten feet high. The pedestal will be of Minnesota granite and the memorial will be set up in some de sirable part of Central park. A com mittee of fifteen was then appointed whose duty it shall be to solicit sub scriptions from lawyers and citizens to pay for the memorial. Mr. Wilson is the first resident of Minneapolis to be honored by a statue or bust in one of the public gardens, or in any public place. The bust must be ready for un veiling for the Ist of October. IiOST A FINGER. Officer Bahon's Hard Run— Police Court Notes. Gus Nelson appeared in the munici pal court yesterday afternoon minus the tip of one forefiuder, which had been carried away by a bullet from the pistol of Officer Bahon. Bahon, while standing on the corner of Eleventh street and Hennepin yesterday after noon, saw Nelson dart out of the doorway at 1123 Hennepin avenue, apparently concealing some thing under his coat. The officer com manded Nelson to halt, without avail. Then came a chase through gardens and over fences to Western avenue, down Nintn street and back up Henne- Bin to Eleventh, where he was caught. is finger had been shot off during the chase. Nelson pleaded guilty to stealing the umbrella, and was given thirty days. Louis Netz land was tried for keeing a blind pig at his confectionery stcre on Fifth street north, but the evidence against him was too slight, and he was •.discharged. Peter Olson stole some carpenter's tools, was arrested and sent to the workhouse for ninety days. Will iam Kyan,-an old time "vag," went to the rock pile for ninety days. Three men who, in court, gave their names as E. C Gray, W. E. True and J. H. Laughlin, went to 'Aiinie Wright's house of ill-fame at 85 Main street and began to throw beer bottles, etc. The patrol wagon carried them and four of the inmates of the house to the lock-up, and- the men were yesterday fined $10 each and the women |5 each. Gray, who is really junior partner in a prominent lumber firm, was the man who started the disturbance, and he would have received thirty days had the j udge known it. Two madames contributed *120 in fines. THE GROCERS' CLERKS. Everything Prepared for a Big Time at Their Picnic. The second annual picnic of the groc ers' clerks of Minneapolis will be at Lake Park, Minnetpnka, June 18, next Wednesday. The steamer City of St. Louis has been chartered by the Red Star Compressed Yeast company, and placed at the disposal of the picnickers. It will leave the Lake Park landing on its 'first trip at 10 a. m., and again at 2in the afternoon. There will be games of various kinds all day long, for valuable prizes, likewise a grand prize drawing on the grounds for a diamond ring pre sented by J. 8. Kirk & Co. The clerks' can get their coupon tickets on the trains. The trains, six of them, for the excursionists will be run over the St. Louis road, the first leaving at 8 a. m. for the ball game. The last train at night leaves the Lake Park at 10 p. m. Nearly every jobbing house in the city which has dealings with grocers has contributed something. The following gentlemen will have charge of the picnic and make it pleasant for everybody: H. S. Barrett, F. H. Brown, J. Mcln tosh, A. B. Husbands, Frank H. Frear, Cygar Harris. A meeting of the clerks will be held at 22 Fifth ~ street south, on Thursday evening, to receive the reports of the committees, when all prizes will be dis tributed. On the day of the picnic, every retail grocery store in the city will be closed. VALE, CRYSANTHEMUM. The Twin City Athletic Club Takes Hold of the Abandoned Quar ters. From to-day the Crysanthemum club will cease to exist. This action was de termined upon at a meeting of the gov erning committee held yesterday. The lease, furniture, fixtures, etc., will all be transferred to the Twin City Athletic club, which takes control of the build ing to-morrow. Prof. Donaldson will at once commence his boxing classes, giving lessons every alternate after noon and evening. The parlors at pres ent occupied as reading and dining rooms will be used as a temporary gym nasium. The new building will be com menced as soon as the plans and specifi cations are completed and it is expected to be ready for occupancy in less than a month from date. It will be one of the largest buildings of its kind in the country, being sixty by seventy feet. A fine track will be laid and a gallery will be constructed, from which all ex hibitions can be witnessed. Members are requested to remember that all in structions are given without any extra charge, and that from to-day the read ing rooms, etc., are at their disposal. A GROCERS' MEETING. The Sugar Question to Be Dis cussed — Election of New Offi cers. All grocers of Minneapolis are ur gently requested to attend a meeting at 232 South Fifth street, next Monday evening, June 16, at 8 o'clock, for the purpose of discussing the sugar ques tion. It is proposed to have a uniform selling price for sugar in this city. All grocers in favor of this measure attend the meeting and vote for it, as all are invited to be present whether a mem ber of the Minneapolis Retail Grocers' association or not. The annual meet ing of the Retail Grocers' association will be held at the same time, and offi ! cers will be elected for the ensuing year. PEOPLE WHO KICK. Different Characters That Are Only Happy When Find ing Fault. Nobody Likes Them, But They Get the Best of Every thing. They Are Tolerated Simply Because There Is No Remedy. And When They Are Buried Their Reputations Live After Them. It pays to kick sometimes. The meefe, lowly fellow who is satisfied to plod through life, taking just what he can get without makiug any protest, is not the one who is always going to get the best chop at the restaurant or the best seat in the theater. In the hotel when the meek man rings for a bell boy that indi vidual will take his time in answering the call, and when he reaches the room of the meek boarder he is so filled with the idea of his own importance and the in significance of the guest that sometimes the guest wishes he hadn't troubled that bell boy with a request for a pitch er of icewater. But let the man who occupies the room next to the meek guest press the electric button. Notice the difference. That man is a kicker, and he lets everybody, from the proprie tor to the bellboy, know it, too. No sooner does his tag drop on the enun ciator than one of the boys is flying to wards his room. "Did I ring?" he re peats sarcastically the question put to him by the boy, who stands respectfully awaitii.g orders. "Well, 1 should say I did. I almost broke the bell. What kind of a ranch is this, anyway? Here I've been thumping that button for an hour for a pitcherof icewater. Now you want to hurry. Fly— get up and git, and have that water here in less than ten seconds or I'll know the reason why." The bell boy has great respect for that Wz*?^.. v guest, aim miorms the )others who answer when the clerk calls "front," that "994 is a perfect gentleman." It is the same way at the theater. The man in the box office barely notices the man who accepts the seats of fered him without say ing anything, and does not hesitate to place him behind a post, where, by twisting his neck out of joint, he may be able to see one haifof the show. But the kicker don't have those seats shoved off onto him. Oh, no; the ticket seller knows him, and can tell at a glance that unless he gets value received he will raise Cain and make everybody around the place uncomfortable, and conse quently he is given what he has paid for. Of course everybody knows that the mule is a natural-born kicker. Nature has endowed him with hind lens that can be used both for defense and offense —particularly the latter. But there are some men in Minneapolis, and a few women too. who, when it comes to kick ing, can give the mule four aces and beat him out of sight. Perhaps the greatest kicker is the base ball crank. He forgets that every club in his asso ciation have hired men tor the express purpose of winning ball games, and he kicks when one of the other clubs takes it upon themselves to defeat the club to which he owes allegiance. He does not take into consideration the fact that no man is perfect, and when a player makes an error, or he think 9 the judg ment of the umpire is at fault, he lets out a howl of disgust, and commences to kick in a way that sends cold chills down the back of the manager and makes the boy who sells indigestible pop corn and bad cigars hurry to another portion of the grand stand. When his own club is winning games, however, he is not at a loss for a subject upon which to kick. There is the tabulated score of the other games on the board, and he wants to know why in the name of Moses this club or that club hasn't fired this or that particular man long ago and signed somebody who can play ball. If the weather is hot he kicks, and while he cannot change it, the kicker is the man who always secures a comfortable place in the shade. He wants the best of , everything, and nine times out of ten he gets it, while the other fellow who is content to take life as he finds it, gen erally gets through the world only re ceiving 60 cents on the dollar. Perhaps the greatest of all the kick ers is the man who knows It all, and who drops into the newspaper office to a very large vol- give the editor points on how the paper should be conducted. H e may not be able to write ten consecu tive lines of good^ English, but hey can criticise— that is his forte— and what he doesn't know about the tariff, the situation in Russia, or the latest political deal, would not fill ume. He makes it a point to drop into the editorial rooms every day, look over the exchanges and kick, fie picks out flaws in the telegraphic reports, and wants to know why it is that a special which has been telegraphed from Squedunk to one paper does not appear in another. The municipal ad ministration does not suit him, and he roasts the council for making appro priations for one improvement and dis regarding another. Then the police come in for a good shaking down. If the saloons are all closed on Sunday, he declare that the side doors should be open. If the side doors are open, they ought to be closed up tight. Kick he must, and should an angel from heaven appear on earth, he would kick becansa her wings were not just what he thought they should be. Let the Kicker enter the dining room of his hotel. Immediately the head waiter is all attention, and sees to it that he has the best service in the house. The head waiter knows what is coming and he tries to soften the attack as much as possible. In a store it is the same way; clerks and floorwalkers know him and are all attention. He gets bet ter apples at the fruit stand, cigars at the tobacconists', and a little the best of everything just because he is a kicker. When he dies no one owes him any thing. He has taken care of number one nimself.and when his acquaintances have occasion to refer to him they are liable to remark, "Yes, he might have been a good fellow, but he was sucb- a dreadful kicker." •" ' ■ ' ■ ■ ■ . - ■ ■ ■ ■ -_--■ • DONALDSON'S GLASS BLOCK STORE, L^iosrisrE^P'OLis. During 1 the past few weeks we have done the greatest business in the remarkable history of our house, enabling: us to close out from importers and manufacturers enor mous lines of goods at absolutely our own prices, giving the purchasing public the benefit in every instance. ™— "SEgg C3-!R.E-A-T — ■■■„■« BARGAIN SALE! TO-MORROW, MONDAY, ONLY. We offer the following extra special values for to-mor-i row, Monday, only. If you come early you will find liberal) quantities to select from. We never do anything in a small way. Hundreds of other Bargains for to-morow through** out the store : Special Drive Black Lawn, 15c— We offer, for Monday only 50 pieces of extra fine quality Black French Lawn, the most seasonable and fashionable of all light weight fabrics, colors guaranteed absolutely fast; regular every-day price 25c per yd. For Monday Only 15c Per Yard. At Ladies* Fine Kid Shoes, Oxford Ties, patent tips and plain toe, common sense and opera; always sold at $2.25. For Monday Only $1.69. Black Brocaded Silks— Very rich and heavy, new designs, 20-inch wide; good value for $1.25. : "■■ ■':■?. : : ':Vi For Monday Only 79c Per Yard. " At $I.4s— Black Silk Chantilly Lace Flouncing, 44 inches wide, worth $1.98. ■_ For Monday Only $1.45. At 75c Per Russian and Tosca Drapery Nets, 48 inches wide, in plain and fancy; worth $1 and $1.25. s?-.' Monday's Price Only 75c Per Yard. Another Gigantic Purchase WHITE DRESS GOODS JUST RECEIVED, And will be placed on sale to-morrow morning on our Gen* ter Bargain Table. THIS SALE IS FOR MONDAY ONLY. MAIL ORDERS MUST BE SENT IN NOT LATE* THAN TUESDAY. 150 pieces White India Linen, in beautiful Satin Stripei and Plaids, worth up to 18c per yard. Choice for Monday Only 9c Per Yard. 90 pieces of White Dotted and Figured Swiss Mull, large assortment of patterns, worth up to 40c per yard. Choice Monday Morning Only 19c Per Yard. We are Sole Agents here for the famou3 Mine. Demorest Sewing Machines at $19.50. Untoo bUUUo Special Drives in Brilliantines, Nuns' Veilings, Albatross Cloth, and the famous warp "Lansdowne's," all in the newest summer colorings; also in blacks, creams, etc., etc. Black and White Shepherd Checks, 42 inches wide, worth 75c, For 50 c a Yard. SEND FOR OUR CATALOGUE. DONALDSON'S Glass Block Store. I WIUwU fi#IUUIi .wlyl'U.l NO. 166.