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4 THE DAILY GLOBE PUBLISHED EVERY DAY AT THE GLOBE BUILDING, CORXERFOI'KTH AND CEDAR STREETS. ST. PAUL GLOBE SUBSCRIPTION RATK Daily (Not Ikcludiko Sunbat.j 1 vr iv advance.?* 0>» | 3 m in advance.s2.O<> i) in in advance. 4 00 | b weeks in adv- _ 100 One mouth 7i<c. ' DAILY AND SUNDAY. 1 yr In advance.SlUOU I 3mos. in adv..« 250 em in advance. 500 I 5 weeks in uav. 100 One month 80c. HJKDAT ALONE. 3yr In advance.. f- OU I 3 mos. in ad.'.. .50c ti in iii advance.. 1 «'•' I Im. in advance.2oc Tri-Weekly— (Daily— .Monday. Wednesday end Friday.) Ijr in advance. .£4 O<) |ii mos. in adv..£2oo '3 mouths in advance. .. Sluu. WEEKLY f.T."PAUL GLOBE. One s ear. il | Six uio., bi»C | Three nin.. 3-">c Kejected commuuications cannot l>e pre- Eerved. Acditts nil ii-uers find telegrams to TUB GLOBE, St. l'aul, .Minn. Eastern Advertising Office- Room 41, Times Luildinc, Kew York. WASHINGTON KUHEAU, 1405 F ST. NW. Complete files of the Gioee alwayskepton - hand for reference. Patrons and friends lire cordially invited 10 visit isixi avail themselves of the facilities of our Eastern Oihces while in New York and Washington. WORLD'S FAIR VISITORS. The St. Paul Daily and Sunday Globe «au be found on &ale at the following places in Chicago: SHERMAN IIOLSE. GRAND PACIFIC. ''ALMER nOUtE. POSTOtfFICE NEWS STAND. AUDITOKICM HOTEL. GREAT NORTHERN HOTEL. ■M'COY'S HOTEL. «' TODAY'S \VIiATHKK. Washington, July ','.">. — For Minnesota: Generally fnir Wednesday: northerly winds: cooler in southeast portion. For Wisconsin: Local showers tonight, followed by generally fair weather Wednesday; northerly winds; cooler i:i central and western portions. For Iowa: Local thunder storms in southeastern, generally fair in nouhwest portion: not bo warm during the day: uortherly winds. For South Dakota: Fair in northern, local show ers in southern portion: cool westerly winds; not so warm in eastern portion. For North Dakota: Generally fair; northerly winds: slightly* warmer in northern portion. For >ioutana: Fair; warmer in northwestern portion; variable winds. I.KNKKAL Oi.ShIIVATIONS. United States Depabtmest o? Aouhti.t- T'TIR. Weatuer liIKSAU, WASHINGTON. July 25,0:)S p. m. Local Time, I p. m. 7. th Merid ian Time.— Observations taken at the same moment of timo ut all stations. 1 » F c ft e C^ 3 U . [jC 3 X Place of 3s 3 1 Place of gs I a Observation. Be gt Observation, -£. — — 1_ LI L_ : 7 St. l'aul 89.921 62 Havre 2QLfiJ 82 Duiutti 2U.SO 78 Miles City.. 29.90 S4 La Crosse... .O.Sii s:J iHelena 2U.DO SO Huron 2!>.<)B 82 I ralgary Pierre 2aflC Wi i.Miniieaosa . at.lKi' C 5 iloorhead. .-a'AS 74 iMcd'eUat... 29l!) Tfi Bt.Vincent. 39.38 68i Qu'Appelle. 30. .64 BUmarck. jo.tiJi 78 jSSw'tCur'-eut 30.041 72 "Ft.Buford..l j •-• i^inni|eg . . "J9.951 GO . P. F. 1/TOHH, Local Forecast Official. The past few days inrlicate that some one has escaped from sueol ami li'tt the lid oft. _ p Gladstone may lose his job if he desists from eiuuroiiins England in a row with France over Siam. It is said that tile reason so many, younsr society women elope with coach men is because they are hansom men. TitDTH, the New York funny paper, is in the hands of a receiver. It has evidently iiad more fun than business. Siam has thrown up both hands, but France is doing a irbod deal of looking around before going through its pockets. — «* — Ovei: 20,000 commercial drummers are doing the world's fair. It i» a pity that Dickens were not alive to see the jolly army. Considering the noise one boiler maker can make, the strike of 1,000 boilermaker.s at iJL Louis must be heard In Clrisago. Uxci.i: Sam will have to fro gunning for Turkey unless there is a sudden cessation of outrages there upon Ameri can missionaries. Wai.tek I.ksant, the great English novelist, finds pork and beans just to his liking. Hence his admiration for Chicago anil Boston. Ti'.aMps are desperately opposed to anything like work, and to dangers; hence they have found holding up rail way trains to their liking. The political campaigns of Massa chusetts and New York are attracting a very small share of public attention. They are too much like a jug handle. Ex-Seckktakt Foster is still work- Ing his mouth, lie says that congress is a wild team, not urofeeii. It differs in this respect from Mi. Foster's bank. The dot; catchers have been named. Ana now there will be a great scarcity Of "pups" on the street for a month or so. Only the friendless dogs will suffer to any extent. Fbance seems to be doing a good deal inure of threatening toward Siain than actiiur. She has a risky undertak ing, and is evidently feeling the lay of outside land. The greatest literary men the world nas produced could not write except under pertain conditions. It was a good thing for them that they were not com pelled to earn their living as reporters OB modern dailies. Nktvspapeb fakirs seem to find great pleasure in spretdine cholera alarms. It keeps the respectable element id the fraternity busy contrndieting tlie ca nards. It seems that cholera has not appeared in Naples, as asserted. The English literary celebrities who visit this country are a cunning lot. They salve over a few vain big cities, get feted and toasted; then go home and, metaphorically speaking, rotten egg them. The Tageblatt makes no secret of Germany's secret desire that England and France may become involved in war over the Siam matter. The terrible loss of life which such a war would cause is a matter of no importance, of course. The Missouri liver is something like the man who can make and unmake kingdoms. It can set a township or a county from one state into another all in a night. There are only about LOOC lawsuits pending through the caprices of the '-Bis Muddy." Let us be happy. At last there has been bloorished at the world's fair. An Asinine Columbian guard insulted Commissioner .St. Ci.aik, of West Vii ginia, and a free fight ensued, with bloody noses on both sides. The distin guished Columbian guards— where half a dozen can assault one gentleman — be- lieve that "Peace hath her victories, no Jess renowned than war." A GRATIFYING SHOWING. The statement of Comptroller Eckkls concerning the national banks of St. Paul, as given in our Washington dis patches, is gratifying in the extreme. It is not news in this community, as the elaborate article from the Trade Journal which appeared in last Satur day's Globe contained the major por tion of the facts given out by the comptroller, but the indorsement of the condition of the St. Paul banks by such high authority is inspiring. The fact that the St. Paul batiks have a larger amount of gold in their vaalts than the banks ot Cincinnati, ilijwau kee, Cleveland and otiier larger cities; that we have nearly as much ;is Phila delphia and two-thirds as muebflia Bos ton, is a story in cold figures wlucli can not be gainsaid or shaken. While it is not a subject for rejoicing that many otiier cities are unable to stand shoulder to shoulder with St. Paul in financial solidity, it is, nevertheless, an occasion for great congratulation that this city can make the record it doe?. It demonstrates that the business of the city is conducted on a basis of safety and conservatism, and that, though there is naturally less activity thau previously, the holding of our own at this time is in reality substantial prog ress. TOO HOI M)B STATISTICS. The Minneapolis Tribune drops into statistics much as Weoo did into poet ry, "in a friendly way," and utterly re gardless of the climbing, vaulting am bition of the mercury in the thennomct ric tubes. It is a splendid tribute, though, to that self-sacrificing spirit which animates the workers of the press, that such labor is undeitaken with the mercury gettini: up to par, the air of a sirocco making one'desperately indifferent to continued life, with per spiration oh tap at every wore and starched collars melted into a sticky paste, hanging about, our necks "like seaweed round a clam; "' when one longs foi the freedom from apparel of our very remote ancestry, and life prof fers nothing soeutieing as mint juleps to be sucked through lone straws while one is swinging in a hammock in the shade of the forest by the lake, witli a Senegumbian to work the fan and smooth the fevered brow with its soft winds. Not to be outdone, however, by our sacrificial brother of the pen, we have taken up his work where exhaustion overtook him. and fiiul that in the twenty-three years whose exports and imports of merchandise he gives, we have stnt abroad products exceeding in value those we have gotten in return to the amount of 11,362,039,090. That is, our foreign customers owe us that bal ance; and beside it the 193,000,090 which was on the wrong side of the ledeer for us last year is only the small change of a big deal. It occurs to us, as there is no douiu that that snug balance is due us, and in gold, too, am as our uneasy friends, the Pops, are clamorous for more money, and as a little would be handy for all of us to have, that, as a summer job, and so we may have pe ace ,for a season, why not commission Wkavki: and Donnki.i.v, vvith all llieir voeilerous Falstaftiau recruits, to hoover the ocean to collect it . THK LATKST "AUGUMEXT." The Atlanta Constitution n:is at last reached the true Pppulist attitude, which attributes all opposition to corruption. It says of the Courier-Journal, which has refused to follow it into the hog-wal low of free and unlimited coinage of silver, that "it is to be feared that Ed itor Wattkkson nas eaten of the East ern puiicnou rool." This talk of a press subsidized by the gold-bugs is on a par in silliness with that prattle we used to hear about British gold and the Cooden club. Money is never corruptly used except mr some sellish interest which expects to be reimbursed in some way for its expenditure. Men having cred its payable in gold have an interest In not being paid in silver depreciated 40 per cent, but their interest is remote and scattered as c :n pared with that of the stiver rnineis,who can see an imme diate proiit in tree coinage. That this is the case is shown by the statement of a Montana miner to a gentleman ot this city in 18!tO,\vhcn the Shekmax bill was pending, who was on his way to Wash ington to aid in its passage, that his assessment towards the fund to be used in securing its passage was 51:2,000. WHY BONDS AKK BELOW PAfi. There ha 3 been a sorrowful lament gome around among the papers which have been on the mourners" bench ever since List Novjjmoer about the sad plight that election has put the country in, because some bonds of.the United States have sold for 'X, tour cents below par— a thing that never occurred before while, at least, the Republican party had control, they say. As usual, this is a mixture of lie and pretense. The Gs of 'OS sold at 85. the 5s of "74 sold at 75. the tis of 'SI sold at S3, and the 5-203 of "85 sold at US. and the 10-40s of '64 sold at B'J, all under Republican rule. The only bonds that sold recently at 90 were some bearing 2 per cent, paya ble at the option of the government, and liable to call at any time. When money is worth tie rates that it conraands to day, the man who has bonds bearing only 2 per cent, and tie time of their payment uncertain, will not get par for them when he sells them, nor will any man having money to invest pay par for them. HE TOOK OFF HIS MASK. AYe can understand how some men can honestly and sincerely believe in their deification of silver, and. as a sen timent, advocate its restoration, eveu if we cannot comprehend the pecul iar mental formation which permits it. But it would seem as if the hypocrisy of the monkeys whose innocent catspaws they are, when unmasked, would, if not show them their error, at least cool their ardor and suggest the possibility of their being played by sharpers for selfish ends. Such au unmasking is described by Ed \v.\kii Atkinson in a recent letter to the New York -Times, in which he says: "The cynical aspect in which this matter is viewed by the senators and members of the house representing the mining camps may be better indicated than in any other way b" t. remark which a predecessor of one of the pres ent senators made to myself during a discussion of the free coinage act in the last session of congress. We were lunching together in the senate restau rant, conversing upon the subject, and, upon my taking a serious view of the case, the senator said: 'Why, Atkin son, I've got to vote for tne bill, of course; but 1 hope you won't think that 1 am s'JCli a d — d fool as to believe in it myself.' " _ Thkhk is no longer reason to disguise the fact that the attendance ot the THE SAINT PAUL DAILY GLOBE: WEDNESDAY MORNING, JULY 26, 1893. world's fair is far below the hopes of patriotic Americans. It is not to be compared with the attendance of the Paris exposition, while it cost more than twice as much. Of course, the stringent times are responsible for the situation. Phisa Sukiya ISVTV atk,» Siamese commissioner at the world's fair, is somewhat extravagant in his estimate of what the Siamese will do with tiie French if they step on the soil of that country. The Siamese eating the French would be like a serpent swal lowing an elephant. Fkanci;. with her forty-odd millions of population to Slant's six million, can put on a bold front, but when England begins to don her war paint tilings will look different in the morning. "Up, fiVAKDS, and at 'em" is evi dently the motto of the Columbian fel lows on duty at the world's fair. M k shall probably enjoy another century bidding Patti good-by. STATE PRESS NOTES. If congress pushes its silver repeal bill vigorously and takes lots of time over its tariff all will be well.-Lake field Standard. Isn't the talk about Hawaii being the key to the Pacific nesting chestnutty enough to be packed away in camphor? — Crookston Times. It is announced with somethins of a flourish of trumpets that all of ex- President Hayes' sons are in business, able to earn their own living, and doing it. Wei!, why not'.'— l>rai nerd .Journal. On the basis of her new school census Minneapolis claims to have a popula tion of 2i),00() or more. Quite likely— but 10 per cent of the number would be much better off and happier if they lived in Winona. — Winotsa Republican*- Harry Hawkins says that the grass hoppers have eate-ti up almost every thing in Thompson but the dyKes. They are there as big and solid as "ever. and the captain has no fear ot their immediate disappearance. — Cloquet Pine Knot. The extra-session congress will be an August body, avers the St. Paul Globe. Well, yes. it wili lay it over the gang we gave the grand Marelf last spring. May it live long and be no jejune affair. — iiede's Budget. There is gold enough to do the busi ness of the world as gold or coin has come to be used in doing business. And the wroof is that the business of the world is so done with what gold there is. —Red Wing Republican. Editor Smith, of the Breckenridsre Telegram, had a composing slick stolen by a traniD printer. He spent $5 for postal cards and located him at Staples, where the Wilkin county sheriff found him. Whatever else Editor Smith may be he is persistent. — Fergus Fails Journal. Decided improvement in the tone of the Prison Minor is noticeable in the past month or two. We have not seen any notice of a change in the editorial force. It was always good, and we doubt if it could be better, but we have to admit we were at fault.— Mankato Ledger. The authorities at Renville, Minn., are a gra«piag combination. M. ,1. Dowling, editor of the Star, is a man without hands nor legs, and lie was ar rested by order of the village council because he didn't work out his poll tax. No one community has all the fools, but llenvilie appears to have a majority in the village council.— Stillwatei Ga zette. Here's the record. During the first four months of the present administra tion b.'XA'i lou rth-cl ass postmasters have, been appointed, while in the first four months of Harrison's term 11.10.i officers of the same class were chausred. Cleve land's civil service propensities show up wfll by this comparison.— Spring field Advance. We don't wisli to be anything but gal lant, of course, and we hope we possess an innate sense of the beautiful in and on woman. But it strikes us quite en passant that those white Blippecs,jQow so much affected, are as much en regie when worn in the dirtot Superior street as evening di«ss at a horse race. But comparisons were ever otiious.— Duluth News-Tribune. Reports are published that "some of the leading ladies of Grand Forks*' have been carrying bouquets and deli cacies to Boinherger. who murdered a whole family atCando, 2V. ])., and that he is receiving §1 each for his auto graphs. Such seutiineiUal toadyism to a red-handed assassin and ravisher of a helpless girl who lies in a critical con dition is dissrusting. The "leading ladies" of Grand Forks must be in a deplorable moral condition.— Duluth Herald. IN THE PLAY HOUSES. The Wilbur Opera company are pleas ing large audiences at the Metropolitan opera house this week in the "Alas cotte." They will sing this opera twice today, matinee and evening. Begin ning tomorrow night and the balance of the week, including the matinee Satur day, they will sing for the first time in this city Planquette's great opera, "Nell Gwynne." Seats and boxes can now be secured for any performance. The change in the atmosphere was perceptible in the att*ndanee at the Graud last night, when a good house was attracted to see the excellent per formance of "Under the Gaslight," which will be seen today at the mati nee, tonight and for the remainder of this week, and with its last performance Saturday night Miss Dert, Mr. Kobinson and several other of the people close for the present summer. "A Shattered Idol." which will be put on Sunday night and given its initial production on our stage, is said to be a play of strong heart interest. BUZZARD'S BAY. If the country were in imminent dan ger President Cleveland would not be fishing.— Washington News. Deep-water fishing is conducive to meditation. If the president ha? not his message to congress pretty' weil t nought out. as the result ot his excur sion, it is because the fish were biting uncommonly well. — New York World. The president is out on the blue waves. It is reported he has gone fish ing. The truth is, probably, that be is preparing. wrwwut danger of inter ruption, a message that will silence the demagogues and ignoramuses who are trying to ruin the country. — Memphis Appeal-Avalanche. •'Quite Apparent." Ufa EDITORIAL HINTS. Champion Corbett continues to keeD within talkiug distance of a reul fight.— Detroit Tribune. Some people haven't any more sense with their schemes than the hen that takes a day off while sitting.— Atchisbn Globe. If some people should meet the devfl at high noon they would ask him whether it was hot enough for him.— Dallas News. A fodder famine in Germany that cuts off the emperor's fodder will not be loudly bewailed.— New York Commer cial Advertiser. The corn crop of Kansas will be the lamest m the history of the state cilice iss'.t. The Populists are in hard luck.— Buffalo Express. It's netting to be pretty stiff sparring for diplomatic points between France and England ov*r the Siamese question. -^Evening World. ■ : . .: >(j i The public is beginning to suspect that Jim Corbett and Charles Mitchell have privately agreed to keep the peace. — Washington Post. One of the most complimentary things to be said about John i. Installs is that he is unpopular in his own state. —Washington Star. The interruption of one of Sam Jones' sermons by a wind storm down South looks like a pretty clear case of similia siuiiiibus.— Boston Herald. ■ There are certain ill-advised silver extremists in this country who seem to object to silence— probably because it is golden.— New York Worid. The comet is only 38,000,000 miles dis tant from the earth. Is it i.ot about time for Lieut. Totten to hoist ttie Han ger signal.—bl eep Brook Bazoo. Foreign noblemen will hereafter be unsafe in Chicago hotels, now that one of them has made a pretty chambermaid in a local hostelry a baroness.— Chicago Post. It was an oversight not to offer Chi cago excursionists decently roomy and well-ventilated cars. But probably all the cattle cars wore engaged.— Swansea Gazette. What is really needed by this genera lion of young men is a portable derrick to assist in lifting the broad-ninnied stiaw hat to lady acquaintances. -Chi cago Record. In the event of a silver war in which rivers of blood will be shed, will Mrs. Mary Lease be another Joan of Arc. or simply another blootlv Mary'.'— lowa State Register. Although as a ruie the girls are no admirers of stinginess, when the right fellow conies along few of the fair ones object to a certain degree of closeness.— Buffalo Courier. It's a fake about the man-of-war Mohi can, but the author can't be exactly traced. It started with some one or other lying around loose iv the far West. — Philadelphia Times. A Kausas City man gave a tramp an old pair of pantaloons. The latter found $5 in a pocket and returned it. Both were of course detained for insan ity.—Cleveland Pla!n Dealer. It seiuns to be the opinion mutually held by authors and publishers that neither class can Bet along witnout the other, though both would be perfectly willing to do so.— Chicago Herald. if Jack the Ripper has held a meeting and passed a'seried of ringing resolu tions iv praise of Gov. Altgeld he is un accountably tardy in forwarding them for publication. —Chicago Tribune. FRANCE AND SIAM. France's Asiatic complications wrll probably make her realize with new hire. 1 the disadvantage of having a white elephant on one's hands. — Wash ington Star. France has sent an ultimatum to Siam which meaus loss to that country.wheth er accented or rejected. The French and Enxllsh we soon to occupy adjacent territory in the east.— Buffalo Enquirer. Bulldozing feeble and uncivilized countries is not a creditable busiuess for a big Christian republic toenuugeiu. France is not winning any glory in thi.-i Siamese campaign. —St. Louis Globe- Democrat. It is probable that the French will make terms ami that Siam will concede the disputed Mekong valley boundary and aeree to pay indemnity, and Mint thus the trouble will be brought to an end lor the present.— New York Press. If Siam does not yield to the demands of Fiance she will be thrashed ard de spoiled of her territory, if she does yield slve will only be despoiled of her territory. T4ius do Christian nations enforce upon pagans the religion of the meek and lowly Jesus.— St. Louis Post- Dispatch. The notion that so vast and valuable a country can. without the preceding negotiations and adjudications needed to make good the French titUs be wrested by force from its historical and actual possessors is a notion more worthy of a pirate than of a civilized power.— New York Sun. The Siamese war cloud is becoming darker and more ominous. China aud Russia threaten to take part, the former on the side of Siam and. ttie latter of France, and there is a strong public sentiment in England against permit tine the French to have their will with the Siamese. — Philadelphia Times. Siam will be crowded into the center ot the peninsula, with Europeans oil all sides of her and French troops guarding her capital. Her ultimate extinction as an independent power is certain. This is the fate which awaits ail the little Eastern states with picturesque relig ions and indolent and sensual rulers.- 4 Brooklyn Eagle. If it were Siam alone, the settlement would be as easy as it is for a fox to conclude a debate with a goose. Bntr the fact of the presence of Great Britain will result in such a modification of the French claims as may not be entirely pleasing to bis majesty King Chulalons korn, but must be satisfactory to the English. — Brooklyn Times. England will not interfere in Siam unless she has to. It she does. France will be seriously embarrassed. >If France yields, it is another surrender to the Britisher— a repetition of the Egy.pr tian fiasco— and if she does not, she* Is not altogether sure of avoiding sotr.e complications in which England wotfld inevitably get the upper hand.—Waaa ington News. Should France succeed in absorbing Siaiu, the great British empire of India would be menaced from the southeast almost as seriously as it is now menaced from the north by the Russians. Great Britain cannot afford to be a passive spectator of the present course of af fairs, and it is this consideration which has given the Franco-Siamese dispute a much more serious aspect than it would otherwise wear.— New Orleans Picay une. In the war against Siam or any other nation under the sun the French icov ernment can count on the support of every Frenchman. The French are not a bloodthirsty people per se, but they are greatly in love with the pomp and circumstance of war, glorious or other wise. If Caruor and his cabinet can prolong the Siamese imbroglio they may secure an todenuite lease of life for the none too stable republic— l'hiladelphia Times. PICKINGS FROM PUCK. Jf * AX ECOHOMICAX MKASI UK. Little Isaacs— Fatler. I vants some money: mem sladc isgracked. Father Isaacs— Mem sohn, dimes vas liardt. Use der odder site. FORETHOU6HT. Mrs. Hicks— There is a burglar down stairs; you'd better go down. Hicks— Yon don't want me to stain my hands in human blood, do you? Mr. Hicks— N-o; but— Hicks— Then let the cook kill him. ana I'll stay right here, where I can prove an alibi. THAT DKUVfI HER OFF. "Why did yon leave your last place?'' said Mrs. Cumso to a girl who wanted a position in the kitchen. '•Because tin- missus went air took lessons at a cookin" school, mum." Ml r.TIM IX I'AKVO. "Do you use condensed milk?" "Guess so. The milkman can put a quart of it in a pint jar." Farmer Hyestraw (to tramp) -i s'pose yer willin' to work? Indolent Ivers— Not much! I ain't no canned fruit. POOR CHEER. Jinks— Did yoa enjoy the Prohibi tionist banquet*.' Filkins— Mildly: but milk toasts do seem a little hospital-like. rNHKASoXAGI.K. Old llyson (angrily)— See here! 1 would like to know what yon intend to make of yourself.' Your .:oi!ei:e princi pal says he does' t know of anything that you would be likely to inako a suc cess of. 1 Young Hyson— Well, you don't expect me to answer a question that a college professor can't answer, do you '.' NOT IMI'I.K ATf:i>. Judge— Was there no policeman about when your fruit-stand was robbed '.' Antonio— Oh. ya, plenta policaman: but dey rob not so much as thisa v.an. iik'u had i;\l'i:i;ik\( k. "Dear tnt^."' said the wayfarer as the ambulance tore past. "•Anybody hurt?" "No," said the policeman: "but some body's goin' to be." JUDGMENTS FROM JUDGE. TO v'7 ..; -. • "NO* A BIT ri'T ON.'"— Judge. THK SON.i I>K TIIK BKIftX. With flwgein weary mid worn. On ii fabric of yellow and red. A fair yoiiiu; niiii'l"ii was hour after hour l'lving lier needle and thread. :,-;; * Stitch, stiu-i". stitch! ■ Oh. why do lie. lingers hurt? Aud \vhy is she treaty? Because, my friends. It's a vine-yard crinoline stirL " TOO XKW. s Father— So you want to marry my daughter. Have you any vices? Suitor — No, sir. 1 don't smoke or play cards and never touched a drop of liquor. Not only that, sir, but I have ■ never kissed any trirt in my life. Father— Well, young man. you go clown to Ashury Park and learn how aud then I'll talk to you. COMING TO THE FRONT A.T LAST. Stranger— Gimme 10 cents, boss, will yer? Party Appealed To— Who are you ? Stranger— l'm the large, determined looking man with the keen, oright eyes and the springy step and the air of prosperity whom the newspaper report ers have been meeting in the corridor of the Fifth Avenue hotel tor the past few years. >"EW TO THE BUSIITESS. Grocer— How much did that piece of cheese weigh? Kew Boy — A pound and a half, sir. Grocer— You've got a good deal to l«arn abont this business y«t»" Now go back and weigh the holes. ■•"'■■ THERE 18 A MODEL TO THIS. ; Bluster— Wbat a fool 1 was to let my self be taken in that way ! - Satellite (trying to humor him)— You wore indeed. <•■ Bluster— Who's a ■ fool? 'I-- You con founded little monkey! I'll break every bone in your body If you call me ft fool. CHATS WITH TRAVELERS. "The crops Iv my section are much better than in most portions of the state," said Hon. H.C. Bull, of Cokato, Wright county, at the Merchants' yes terday. Mr. Bull was a prominent member of the legislature two years ago, and is an exceedingly well-posted man. We need rain pretty badly," he pursued. "Everything is drying up, and if we do not get moisture soon a drought will ruin the crops. The bar ley, rye and oat crops are being har vested, and the yield is excellent. But the wheat is in danger. The same should be said of the potato crop. But corn is lookiug splendidly. The hot weather has pushed it forward at a rapid pace. "Anything new in politics? Nothiae save that there are lots of candidates for the postmastership, and no present hope of any of them reaching the goal. By the way, C. -I. Buell, who is travel hue in the interest of the state Demo cratic association, visited our town the other day in search of recruits, and 1 thiiik bo met with considerable success." -i+- - It is no matter of surprise to all who know the two, that Hon. .Joseph lloach, of Northfield, was at Mr. Bull's side when he .spoke as Quoted. They served in the legislature together, and a firm and warm attachment sprung up be tween them, and this fact has often been the subject of pleasant comment. They were, indeed, the Damon and Pythias of the house of representatives. No truer friends ever served in like capacity. • >lr. Bull is right," said he. "Wright county has a long way the best of us iv point of crop promises. Rice county has nothing to boast of. We must have tains, and soon, or fanning in our sec tion will prove a signal failure this sea son. Still the hay crop is unusually heavy. The grass was btrong and tine. and it has been well secured. The fact is, it has been ideal weather for making hay. But our wheat is a failure. How ever, Rice is not a wheat-producing center, and with the right sort of weather we may yet come out all right." Mr. Ifoach is en ronto for his stock ranch in Montana, and left on the even niir train for that objective point, ac companied by Mrs. Koach. -+T (Jeonre P. Smith, of Hastings, is a veteran horseman, aud he has brought out several of the trotting successes and pacers that have made money in differ ent circuits in the Northwest, lie was found in the rotunda of the Merchants' yesterday. Horse training, he says, is not so profitable now as it has been in the past, and lie lias added a lar/e dog kennel to his establishment down ttie river. He has Si. Bernards. Great Danes and hunting doga of different breeds, and he exhibits pedigrees as long as the moral law for each and every dog in his kennel. It is his puruose to remove to St. ''an! in the fall, and he expects to open up a first-class kennel here, where he will undertake to care for private dog? during the winter. lie has had experience that has admirably fitted him lor this sort of business. -+t-» --"You Minnesota people just like they are in Calitornia,' said Col. Haines at the \\ iudsor Monday evening. "You I brag about your climate and everything else. You say you never had such warm weather. It puts me in mind of a noted banker and old citizen of Cali fornia. He went to that country with tiie first surveying party and has lived there ever since. When anything un usual happens in the weather line he insists that the like was never known since he went there. Knowing that they often have sand storms in thatstate along the coast, 1 thought I would test the old fellow and asked him if such a thing ever hap pened. lie declared he did not understand me and maintained such a thing was never heard of there. About three days after the coast was visited by a sand storm that iilleu the streets so tuat thousands or Chinese had to be put to work tn clear them, and the ships were so covered in tiie harbors that ihe sand was shoveled off in wagon loaas. I went to my acquaintance and asked him if such a thing did not happen two or three times a year with more or less severity. He was very indignant, and stoutly asserted that tie never saw a sand storm before, and he hal been there ever since the first survey." Col. Haiues added: -I am told that you often have hot weather in Minnesota, but you people seem to forget it or else don't want to admit the trutii. :> W. 1). Kent, of Wardner. Idaho, is at the Merchauts', He is as full of free coinage ideas as a cocoanut is full or milk, anil lit knows how to express himself in a forcible style. And no winder: The richest silver mine in the world is located at his place. It i.s the Hunker iiill am! Sullivan mine, and it hits a national reputation. -t-t-t- At the Ryan — Frank B. Wiestling and wife, Seattle; E. J. Waugh, Portland, Or.; lunik OrhuntLer, West Superior: B. Magofiin, Duluth; James Keid, Deer Lodge, Mont, At ihe Clarendon— T. J. Kavauagh. St. Louis; 1). T. Bell. Summit: John McCorchy, Stilivvater; M. F. Murphy, (hand Forks; Henry Feig, Litchfielu 1 ; G. P. Babeoek, Winnebago City; W. A. Alexander, Usage. At Hotel Brunswick- J. W. Carroll. Lake City; F. F. Gunnison. Matikato: J. Cohen. Long Prarie; Charles A. Mil ler, West Superior; J. S. Loomis, Chi cago. At the Windsor— G. L. Xve, Shako pee; Charles 11. Buda. Montevideo: F. H. Stevens, Howard McKenistry, Ked Wing: M. W. McDonnell. Winona: (ieorgu F. Constans, Blue Earth City: F. Johnson and wile, Waverly. At the Merchants'— Ed C. Shears and wife, Helena; W. D. Kent. Wardner, Idaho: Nelson Pierce. J)uluth; Mrs. Thomas Greene, Mankato; J. A. Mc- Millan, EL E. Francisco. Mason City; K. B. Patterson. Spokane; C. M. Spraeue. Sauk Center. • At Hotel Metropolitan— C. \Y. (hooper, Portland: William B. Phelps, Duluth: W. M. Walters. W. E. Dorslewitz, Mil waukee: \\~. H. Goudanl, Auburn: L. Borlinithaus, St. Louis; E. Smith, Buf falo; B. F. Winders, Chicago; D. F. Eean, Cincinnati; E. M. Evans, Cleve land. Horace White on Silver. Harper's Weekly. 1 conclude this article by saying that the right "substitute ior silver" that so many people in and out of congress are looking for is gold. This reminds me, as Mr. Lincoln used to say, of a little story, and it is one out of a hundred thousand or so that I heard Mr. Lincoln himself tell. A certain man who had been in poor health for anumberof years went to consult a celebrated physician. The doctor questioned him a long time about his symptoms and his habits of life, and finally advised him to get a large tub of tepid water and a pound of soap and a flesh-brush ; to take off all his clothing, get into the water, lather himself from head to foot with the soap, and then apply the brush vig oronsly to his cuticle, agitating himself in the water meanwhile. "Is not that very much like washing one's self?" asked the patient. "les," replied the doctor, "it is open to that obj action." If anybody objects to my substitute for silver on account of its simplicity, I acknowledged that it is open to that ob jection. France demands $090,000, exclusive of the claims made by private persons for outrages alleged to have been com mitted on French citizens. If the gov ernment at Bangkok do not accede to the demands th*n the French will blockade the Menam river. This may involve her in a dispute with other na tions. It all depends upon Siam having the "moral" support of some power whether or not she will do what the Fsench -require. At any rate, the situ ation has become quite serioua.— 2scw I'orkfleraldi STUNNED BY A CONVICT. ONE OF THE GUARDS AT ST. CLOUD KNOCKED DOWN. Lightning and Rain Do Consider able Damage at St. Cloud—ln teresting Row Among Moor head Barbers— St. Paulites Ar rested at Hudson— ln General. Special to tbe Globe. St. Cr-oin, July 25.— Last evening a convict at the state reformatory made a murderous attack upon Julian Beldon, one of the guards. The latter was di recting the work of a cang of prisoners engaged in unloading stone for the new building now in course of construction. When teuton's back was turned the convict picked up a heavy piece of lead pipe about three feet Inn- an I aimed a vigorous blow at his head. The blow fell short, but it was sufficient to stun BeWun, who fell unconscious, and then tbe convict dealt him another blow on the back. At this moment another guard came to Behlon'a rescue. Tlie convict was captured and Beklon was taken to the hospital. TORRfiNTS OF KAIN And I ightuing l>o Considerable Damage at St. Cloud. Special to the Globe. St. C'i.ori>, July 23.— A severe rain and electric storm passed over St. Cloud and vicinity last niulit. The rain fell In perfect torrents, and lightning played havoc in several piaces. The electric hirlit station was visited by the fluid and several armatures were burned out, which put out every iucande.-eant Hgilt in the city for a time. The arc light current was not damaged. During the Storm the house of E 1 Carlson was struck by lightning- and totally de stroyed. Reports from the country in dicate that several farm houses were struck by lightning ana destroyed. SHAVKO US SOXDAY, And a $;$ Fane Was Passed All Around. Moorhead, July 35. — For the past two weeks the barbers of this city have been agitating the question of Sunday closing, and ten days airo all shops were notifiert to close Sunday on and after July 23, or they would be prosecuted ac ordiug to tlie state law. \V. F. Hall, a baiber, had William Vachon and lolm Edwards arrested for working on Sun day. Justice Barnard iined each §3 aud costs. This atternoon Vaclion issued warrants for Hall and his b:irber for working on a previous Sunday. Each was lined *:; and costs,and Ilall declares he will have Vachon arrested for vio lating the Sunday law every week for the past three years. It is not known where the affair will end. BABUiS KU.V AWAY". Peanut Peddler Klones With a Girl of Fourteen. Mm ■■hem., S. D., July During the recent visit ot Kmgling's circus to this town a young chap about nineteen years old. giving his name as llariy Pinkerton. left the show, which he had served' as a peanut peddler, and went to work on odd jobs about town. He soon formed the acquaintance of Bessie Moore, the fourteen-year-old daughter ofMaj.and xMrs. \V. A. Moore, and kept hercompany despite the opposition of her parents. Last Wednesday night Pinkerton hired a livery rig, saying he wanted to take some one into the coun try, and, not returning with it. search was made, and the horse and buggy were found the next day at t-ie town of Spencer, twenty miles east of here. Then it was ascertained that Miss Moore was also missing, she having told her patents that she wwats t going to spend the night with a frieml. and further inquiry developed that she and Pinkerton had spent a day in a farm liouse near bpencer, saying they were brother and sister, from Aberdeen. They left the farm house Friday morning, and noth ing has been heard from them since. KN GINKS TIKI) UP. The Union Pacific l*ut in a Hole at Council illnfTVi. Council Bluffs, 10., July 25.— County Treasurer W". B? Reed yesterday afternoon levied on fifteen locomotives in the Union Pacific yards at the Coun cil iiluffs transfer and chained them to the roundhouse, under trie care of a deputy and assistants. The levy was made to satisfy taxes for the year ISO 3. The assessment of the Union Pacific in that year was $125,000, and the tax amounted to (6,968.75. Penalties for nonpayment raised Hie claim t0 §8,083.75, and charges for collection, etc., made the claim nearly SIQ.ROO. Three St. caiim ■, Arrested. llidsox, Wis., July 25. — lames Kelly, Charles Watson and Charles Wiilard, three St. Paul sporting men, were ar rested this morning tor seining lisli in Willow river. They were eaugbt in the net with the seine, and eleven trout in their possession. They were brought before Judge Bunker, and, as the dis trict attorney was out of the city, they were held until tomorrow moaning for trial. As they are unable to give bail, they are confined in the county jail for sate keeping. Stole $1,000 Worth of Jewelry. Devil's Lake, N. I).. July 83.— The jewelry store of D. I). Sullivan was en tered this morning about 2 o'clock and about si.ooo wortli of watches and gold and silverware were takeu, including all the watches left for repairs; also several full cases of Roger liros.' silver knives and forks and fruit knives, and several other articles. No arrest has been made. The burglar's name is Hank Warner. Horse Thief Nabbed. Dubi-qi c, 10., July 25. — A noted horse thief from Wisconsin was cap tured yesterday at Epworth, where he appeared with a fine team of horses, which he offered to sell. He had hired them the day before nt Delhi. The sheriff ot Delaware county was tele graphed, and in a short time the thief waa in custody. His name is Sherman, and he has been stealing horses in Wis consin for several years, and is uovv caught for the first time. Unknown Man Killed. Huosox, Wis., July 25.— Passenger Train No. 3, on the Omaha road, ran into an unknown man two miles west of Hammond this morning, killing him. in stantly. His body was mangled and broken into hundreds of pieces. A book was found In his possession, but was UKen in charge by the conductor, who allowed no one to look at it. The body was left at Roberts station. Saw Mill Shut Down. Dulutu, July 25. -The Scott & flolston saw mill has been sbjt down, temporarily, it is said. About seveuty five men are thrown out of employment and the daily output of Duluth is re duced by about 60.000 feet. As soon as affairs ease up to some extent the mill will resume operations. All the mills except Peyton, Kimball & Berber V 8 running only day crews. Olof Pary Assigns. FERGUS Falls, July 25.--Olof Parr. leading merchant at New York Mills, has assigned to Fred Webber, of Per ham. Mr. Pary, wiio was also in tne lumber and tie business, fans been re garded as the richest Fiulander in this section. Liabilities, $25,000; assets, $35, --000. Struck by JLijrhtnin;*. Special to the Globe. Jamestown, >'. D., July 25.— During a rain storm yesterday morning the liouse and barn at the insane asylum south of the city was struck by light ning. The loss was $2,503, insured for §i,2jo. With difficulty was the granary saved, containlug several thousanJ bushels of oats and barley. Farmer Commits Suicide. Special to the Globe. St. Cloud, July 25.— Hillnian Cates,a farmer living in the town of Maine Prairie, this county, committed suicide- Sunday night by shooting himself through his heart with a revolver. Stole From a Farmer. Speciiil to the Globe. Noinni-ici.u, July 25.— Matt Austin, arrested at Forest yesterday for steal ing money from a farmer, was examined before Justice Donaldson today and bound over to the grand jury. Ho worked for a farm implement firm here One-Fifth. Destroyed. Siiecinl to the Globe. Zcmbbota, July 25.— It is estimated by good judges here that one-fifth of the wheat crop in this county has beeu destroyed this week by the heat. Ttirnfest Closes. Milwaukee, July 25.— The twenty sixth turnfest came to a close tonight. The prizes were awarded. Among the lucky ones were: Ger mania T. V., St. Paul; West Minneapolis T. V., Minne apolis; Duluth T. V., Duluth; West Side I . V., St. Paul. THE BKST MAX. His Feelings When He Assists at a Friend's Weddinjj. Philadelphia Times. At a fashionable wedding the other day the handsome blonde fellow who officiated as "best man" looked so uu feignedly sad that it occurred to a frivolous young woman in the front pew to ask him after the ceremony: "Why in the world he looked as though he was attending his own funeral iu stead of rejoicing at his friend's hap piness." "Did I look glum?" he laughed, as ho tugged al his tawny mustache; "well, to be candid with you, I felt so. l'ou see, Charlie and I have been good friends ever since we were boys. We u>e I to share our pin money and all thai sort of thing, and later, when we went to college, we still were chums. Then went in business together, and I was everything to him until Elsie came along. Of course, it's all right and nat ural, but somehow when 1 saw him standing there today I felt I had lost niy friejid forever." •'Nonsense," hastily put in the in quisitive one. now heartily sorry that she had jested" about sore a subject. "Yon iiave gained another instead of losing one." •'Do yon actually believe thai." he questioned; "if you do. how very little you really know your own sex. The very fact that Elsie knows how fond Charlie and 1 are of each other will make her more surely inclined to be jealous than anything else. Of course, we will always he friends, but the close warm intimacy of other days has gone forever. That's why 1 looked so glum today, for it would have been less hard to have been parted from him in any other way. for then there would have been a hope for reunion, but now we will drift steadily further and further apart. •'After all," said the woman as she told a group ot friends of her unfortun ate question, "it -seems that men can love as well as women."' • "He'll net over it," said a Miss Cynic; "he"v r.ever liave tbounlrt of it If he had t bet'ii the one to marry first, and 1 wager a box of candy that \vr' will yet see his wife and Elsie as good friends as he and Charlie, and then there will be norc jrret for the all-absorbing man friend ship of other days." Out of the Woods. Judge. "Aren't yon afraid of the electricity?" asked the inquisitive passenger of the niotoriiiun. "ISo; but the niau who collects tho fares is." "Isn't it siransre that he should bo afraid and you not?" "Not at all. You see I'm a non-con ductor." . mi _ "Wanted tho l;aw on His Side. Atlanta Constitution. "Well," said the lawyer to the rural justice, "you sent for me?" "Yes," said the justice. "I want some advice about this here prisoner, lie's D-en ketched stealin' lioxs, an' as 1 hain't (jtrt no law book, I don't know ef I'm entitled to lynch him, er notl" Very Much Alike. Tammany Times. ' "1 think you must have misunder stood," said a hungry man in a llarlem. restaurant to a waiter. "How so, sir?" "1 ordered fried liver, and you havo brought me fried leather." m* Between France aud England poor little' Siain la having a dreadful time. Kecenidevelopm.'iits seem to show tliat Siam's ai'.toaoiuy is lioomed. It would make a line dependency of F/ance if France were nut afraid of Ensjlainl, and vice ve.sa.— Cincinnati Commercial Ga zette. ',':"':' "7 suffered 8 years "From woman's early trou« bles. , "I could find no permanent relief until, one year ago, I tried Lydia E. Pinkhams Veg. e table Compound. Relief then — « —^Vv can ~ie with it LMOSS&\ almost imme« ii | Vdiately, and at / Ja-isr TO 11 tn is time lam \ikY^*.^K, / " I absolutely by ™y own X^^^^X expenence,but =5^ by others also, that this is a harmless and sure remedy for : — " Irregularity, suppressed or painful menstruations, weak, ness of the stomach, sick head, ache, and female complaints generally. There is no need of so much female suffering. Here is the remedy. It is wicked not to accept the relief it will bring." — Mrs. / A. Rue, Florence, Ky. L.raiA d r gg tS Se " \. -Address., -n confidence, L^dia E. Pinkham Med. Co., LyNN, MasS Mrs. Pialth&m's Liver Pills, 25 cenxs.