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4 THE DAILY GLOBE PUBLISHED EVERY DAY AT THE GLOBE BUILDING, CORNER FOURTH AND CEDAR STREETS. ST. PAUL GLOBE SUBSCRIPTION RATE Dailt (Not Inclcdixo Sunday, j 1 vr in advancers Ou j 3 m in advance.s2.oo 5 m in advance. 400 | 0 weeks in adv. 100 J. Oue mouth 7l>c. DAILY AND 61NHAV. * mnrn ■X Iyr In advaiicc.SH.' oo |3mos. in adv..s2&o «m in advance. 500 I Sweelain adv. 100 ;:•_- Oue month Sjc {."■ SUNDAT ALONE. :Ivr in advance..*- 00 I 3 mos. in adv.. .ftOc ti in in advance.. 1 t'Q 1 Im. in adv.mce.2oc Tki- Weekly- (Daily- Monday, Wednesday and Friday.) ; Ijr in aavar.ee. .£4 w| <> moB. in adv..*- "0 3 mouths in advance Si 00. WEEKLY ST. FAUI. GLOBE. Cue jcar $1 I six mo.. 05c | Three ma, 3*-c Rejected communications cannot he pre served. Aadiets all letters and telegrams to THE GLOBE. St. Paul, Mian. Eastern Advertising Offics- Room 41, limes Enilding, New York. WASHINGTON BUREAU, 1405 F ST. NW. Complete filcsof the Globe always kept on j band for reference. Patrons and friends arc cordially Invited to visit aiidavail themselves " of the facilities of our Eastern Offices while in New York and Washington. WORLD'S FAIR VISITORS. : The St. Paul Daily and Sunday Globe ran be found on sale at the following places in Chicago: SHERMAN HOUSE. ! GRAND PACIFIC. PALMER HOUSE. POSTOFFICE NEWS STAND. AUDITORIUM HOTEL. i GREAT NORTHERN HOTEL. M'COY'S HOTEL. TODAY'S WKATHKR. Washington, Aug. 5.— p. m. -Forecast for Sunday— For lowa, Minnesota, North aud South Dakota: Increasing southeast winds; warmer Sunday; southerly winds and local rains Monday. -*■****• — Siam's first ultimatum did not seem to ultimate. — *■ Nearly every bank can stand a home run better than a cashier's run to Canada. • Dp to the hour of going to press Gov. Waite's "blood" is not up to the horses' bridles. -■--••*--■ Mb. Crisp can beat Jerry Simpson in the speakership race, and Jekhy may use his bicycle. <». Any little American contribution to my $100,001) will be thankfully received. —Duke Veragua. — ***■ For a comedian, Sam' l of Posen ap pears to be playing some decidedly heavy tragedy lines. ■*-**» We now see the utility of ocean greyhounds. They can bring gold over quickly from Europe. — ■_■ COINCIDENTALLY IGNATIUS DON NELLY was in Chicago at the time Packer Ccdahy lost his Bacon. ■«_-» — Location of the state capitol bids fair to equal the celebrated campaign with the Wood Harvester works. -"■*■■■• Congressman Jim Tawney appears to have left a long string of ambiguous talk between St. Paul ami Washington. The appearance of Colorado's govern or at Chicago subsequent to-the destruc tion of the coid storage buildiu:: was unfortunate. Should the cholera continue to in crease in that city, "See Naples and die" will not be so highly metaphorical as lormerly. The absence of a referee at the num erous world's fair snaps would suggest a letter of advice from the St. Paul Phoenix club. ->o_ If Gen. Miciieneii is to be believed. Benjamin Uaui-ison has played a kind of snap came on Hen. Weaver's 1896 presidential aspirations. Gently, -gently, partisan Republi cans. John Sherman, whose disas trous act the coining congress proposes to nullify, is not a Democrat. The rumor that Prof. John Barnes is preparing for the press a work on '•The Kise, Decline and Fall Off of the Omaha Kid" lacks confirmation. With Bland at the head of the coin age committee of the next congress that usually august assembly would rapidly develop opera boute indication . - ■-■•**■ — - It should be distinctly understood that the late lamented Chicago silver convention was not the "first low wash of waves where soon shall roll a human sea." In opening his presidential cam paign at this early date, Ben Uaiirison has taken Time by the forelock. In 1896 the Democrats will snatch him bald headed. The author of "Paddle Your Own Canoe" died last Friday in Indianapolis, but justice to Ignatius Donnelly compels the announcement that he needs no further tips. James Robinson, the old-lime circus clown, is living at Cincinnati, aged eighty-two. lie is said to be almost as sprightly as some of his jokes -now do ing duty in the sawdust rings of 1893. -Ot.. No confidence is violated in the as sertion that Col. Watterson finds the Midway Plaisauce frivolities far less culpable than his long and variegated flirtation with the star-eyed goddess. — ■****-■ In St. Cloud a girl is reported to have been threatened with death by a young man whom she refused to marry. "Your money or your life!" bids fair to become subservient to "Marry or die!" Siam's king wears a golden bat weigh ins twenty-seven pounds, but had lie not squared himself with France that choleric country stood ready to put a head on him weighing several ounces more than the hat. Mexican politics should not be scoffed at by Americans so long as their sensible fractional paper currency is so much more convenient for doing busi ness through the mails than are our own complicated pustaj orders and notes. _ - - » Ambassador Bayard is a man not veil to volubility or garrulous vapor iugs. When he says, writing from Europe, that, "So far from depreciat ing the intrinsic value of silver bullion, 1 believe the cessation of storage and accumulation of stock will help the market price for this commodity, as it would help any other commodity," the fair-minded and conservative business man is inclined to believe him. Either the laws governing supply and demand, over production, etc., are all wrong, or the free silver advocates are attempting' a task more Herculean than making water run up hill. It certainly would seem that no far-sighted silver mine owner could fail to perceive the logic of the situation as stated by Mr. Bayard. RETURNING CONFIDENCE. The situation in St. Paul yesterday indicated that confidence in our finan cial institutions 'is .rapidly being re stored. *V* . Now that people find they can get their money on call, they do not want it. They only want their money if they think they cannot get it. This Is human nature, and has been for sev eral years. If this confidence remains, it will be but a short time before the flurry will have been forgotten. The movements to reopen the suspended banks can be rapidly pushed to completion. The officers and stockholders of the People's bank were taking steps yester day which will probably result In the opening of the bank within the next two or three days. The magnitude of the National Ger man-American will require more time tor resumption. The stockholders are widely scattered, and the general feel ing is that there must be a reduced cap italization, lt will require time to ac complish this, but the prevailing senti ment of those interested is that it will be done at an early day. That great financial institution will not be lost to the city. The condition of affairs in the Fast continues to improve. The How of gold from- Europe to this country continues uninterrupted. Tomorrow congress will begin its work of relief, and the repeal of the Sherman act is now only a question of a short time. There is every reason in the outlook for encouragement, and none for de spondency. A STUPID OFFICIAL. By one of those strange political acci dents which sometimes occur in the best regulated cities, a person who, we have been told, bears the name of Mil ler, has been allowed to stray into the office of the city treasurer. Save for his stupidity his existence would hardly be known, but based on the amount of that element which he can display, his fame ought to be world wide. Day before yesterday he concluded he would join In the financial scrimmage and close a bank or two, just for luck and prestige. He accordingly looked the field over, and finding he had suf ficient city fuuds in the West Side bank to close it, if demand for immediate payment was made, proceeded iii a spirit of financial hilarity to draw his checks upon that institution. Of course, the city was not only pro tected by the stability of the hank itself, but a heavy bond had also been given. This person by the name of— (never mind the name)— chuckled to himself as the thought of his coming achieve ment penetrated his dull brain. He grew happy -as he imagined what a great man he would make of himself by suspending a little bank, and forthwith proceeded to do up the job with neat ness and dispatch. The bank circumvented him by sus pending without paying the checks, and now he is wondering "where he Is at" as he poses as the financier of the Northwest. If he keeps on in the same line of ef fort we may be able to recall his name again before he completes his financial record. DISCREET SPEAKER CRISP. In the Democratic caucus at Wash ington last evening mere was no tangi ble opposition to the renomination of ex-Speaker Crisp. The expected hap pened, and the harmony prevailing at the choice cf a speaker appeared to ex tend to other selections for minor officers. In his brief speech of acceptance Mr. CitlSP followed closely the lines of his memorable remarks in '92, when he promised to take no backward step in tariff reform. Upon the silver question Mr. Cbisp was strangely silent; or. per haps, more properly speaking, his fail ure to allude to this lively topic may be construed as strange by those who look no deeper than the surface of current events. But there are many cogent reasons why the next speaker of con gress should touch lightly upon this question, or avoid it altogether. In the first place, the currency question of to day is not a party issue as between Democracy and Republicanism. The tariff is such an issue, and upon it the Democratic party has won splendid vic tories in the past. -y'-yy Secondly, it was fitting in the new speaker to avoid allusion to a topic whereby he might forestall the message of President Cleveland, and. possibly, to some extent antagonize its details. During the past three weeks Mr. Citisp has skillfully avoided any inter views upon the silver question. And yet no man, perhaps, more fully under stands President Cleveland's position in the matter than does Mr. Crisp. Due consideration of the rather striking omission in his speech must convince conservative thinkers that he followed the dictates of good taste in his silence. That Mr. Crisp hails from what may be termed a free silver state cuts no figure either way. As a presiding officer be is looked to for impartiality in his rulings. Especially is this true in so delicate a matter as the question of re peal of the Sherman act, a question which has already disrupted the two great parties, and is probably destined to breed considerable acrimonious de bate. Mr. CjkisP was discreet. KEGS OF GOLD FOR BALLAST. The wires announce the return of gold to this country in the identical kegs in which it was shipped out a few months ago. If they have been opened atall, it was merely to verify the count. Probably they were not opened. There is no reason why they should have been. On ships laden with freight liable to shift you will see barrels filled with sand. Their office is to trim the ship when the shifting cargo or other cause makes her list. Tne barrels are rolled to the lighter side.restoring the balance and righting the ship. These kegs of gold are performing for our international trade the balanc ing function performed by the barrels of sand for the ship. As the balance of debt, not trade, moves with excess of purchases Trom one country to the other, listing the credit side over, these kegs roll to the debit side to restore the balance. The barrels of sand on the ship bear but a small proportion to the bulk of the cargo, aud still they cause it to ride easily on even keel. The kegs of gold which balance the debts and credits of commerce are slight in value as com pared with the commerce which they steady. If export values always equaled import values there would be no financial shifting to be remedied, and there would be no use for the kegs of gold. Until that time comes through removal of trade obstructions, kegs of gold will have to make their forward and backward trips across the ocean to THE SAINT PAUL DAILF: GLOBE: SUNDAY MORNING. AUGUST 6, ■ !S93. —SIXTEEN PAGES, v trim the ship. 'They are only financial ballast. WAGE EARNERS NOT IN IT. It was a desperate effort the silverites made at Chicago to draft the wage earners into their ranks. They retained Powderly, who appears to be open to a retainer from all class interests, and they portrayed the ruin of the wage earning classes as one of the purposes of the gold-bugs. They appealed to them to join hands in demolishing the common enemy. They evidently count ed on success, for they appointed a mass meeting on the lake front, with several stands for speakers to instruct. the immense gathering they anticipated. About a thousand people went out on the lake front to hear the speeches; only a thousand, mostly idlers, in a city full of laboring men. It was a crushing defeat, full of chagrin to the promoters and of significance to the rest of the na tion. It shows that the silver miners must depend on those farmers whom they can delude.and it makes plain totlie nation the insignificance of the move ment. ~ S&ißi The indifference of the wage earners to this appeal is easily understood. The motive of the movement is purely selfish, lt is self-interest solely. The ipask of patriotism and philanthropy with which they seek to mask it is too gauzy to hide the real purpose behind it- The silver miners want si. 2.) an ounce for their silver worth but TO cents. The fanners in the movement want a higher price for tlieir produce. Both know that free coinage means a single standard, with silver for that standard. They Know that that will result in an inflation of prices. The man who has anything to sell will want two silver dollars worth 50 cents each for what he would lake one irold dollar for. Rela tively, then, prices will advance. But the interest of the wage earner is precisely adverse to this. He will not be deceived by the story that his wages, too, will rise, for he knows by a bitter ex perience that it is the slowest upward moving commodity in the market; the first to fall, and the last to rise. He wants cheap meat and flour and cloth ing. He cannot be expected to join hands with alacrity and cheerfulness of sacrifice in a movement which is in tended only to increase the cost to him of his living. If this is to be a game of selfish interests merely, he will play his own cards. If chestnuts are to be raked from the coals by him, they must be his. He played the cat to the protected monkeys for a long time, and until he found that be was not getting the bene fits promised him, and that others were. His selfishness was played on by the beneficiaries of the tariff for a long time, and successfully. lie has learned that in. game of selfishness others always held the winning cards. If the protectionists can no looser lure him with promise of higher wages, how can the Populists hope to catch him with promises of higher food and cheaper money ? DOUBLE STANDARD. One of the many perplexing terms that have been exploited in the Amer ican currency discussion is the expres sion "double standard." Even the most casual analysis of its significance can not fail to show its ambiguity. Gram matically and philosophically, double standard means two distinct standards. An apt. and, indeed, in the light of the present financial controversy, a fitting illustration of double standard would be the workings of a dry goods store con taining two yardsticks, the one shorter than the other. W»*re each thirty inches long, the store would, necessarily, be tunning on a single standard basis, because thirty-six inches is the legal standard length of i yardstick. The unit of currency value in the United States is the dollar. By the con stitution of the United States gov ernment is empowered to coin it. and stamp upon its face its intrinsic value a** relative to all other subsidiary coins. But nowhere in the constitution is there to be found a provision whereby gov ernment may coin two dollars of un equal value, yet uttered under the same name to be recognized as intrinsically equal. In other words, it cannot put a certain number of grains of gold in one dollar and a lesser quantity in another, Itcannot mint 412*4 grains of silver in one dollar and 2003-f grains in another silver dollar. Aud yet the authority to do this is logically implied by the term "double standard," so freely bandied about by free silver coinage advocates in convention assembled. By the commercial world it is ac knowledged that sold is the least fluc tuating in value of any coin metal in use throughout civilized countries doing business with each other. The United States mints gold dollars. Naturally, economically and practically the gold dollar becomes the standard of the unit currency value of this country. This condition is not the result -of "gold rings." "gold bugs," British influence or "bankers' combinations.'' This is charged by Populists and free silver visionaries, but it is not true. Good, conservative friends of silver, men who desire to see gold and silver both util ized as money, will not back up this fallacy. Finance, as well a3 commerce, is governed by natural laws, by laws over which individuals and even large communities have no influence what ever. The world with which it becomes necessary for this country to deal com mercially accepts our dollar at its oroportionate worth to other coins aud currency values in the world. But commercial men will never consent to do business on a basis of two unequal dollars with any government on earth. Nor is it in the power of free silver conventions or the congress of the United States to compel them to do so. Neither is it just that such should be the conditions imposed, or attempted to be imposed. All established laws of trade aud barter would be demoralized; all financial circulations complicated and destroyed. The whole complex system is abhorrent to natural eco nomic laws. So far as the currency of the United States is concerned, gold and silver must always be prominent factors; but the double standard is a myth. Every dollar must be as good as every other dollar, and one kind of a dollar must remain the standard. Either the gold or silver dollar ' must be the currency standard, and it only remains for this country to declare upon which basis it proposes to do business, upon stable gold or fluctuating silver; \Vhen this question is settled business confidence will have been restored. A. DEFECTIVE CURRICULUM. lt is the frequently remarked defect of our schools that they teach too little that is really preparatory of the scholar for the duties of citizenship. Some spasmodic movements have been made iv this direction, but they have almost en tirely if not quite subsided. The consti tution of the state was made a requisite study in schools and by teachers. It was attempted to introduce civics as astudy, and Congressman McCleary prepared an excellent text book on that subject excellent as far as it went— but its intro duction has not been as general or its study as pc Vi stent as it should be. The English schools are superior In this respect The elements of political economy are taught in the lower grades, and English youth bring to their civic duties a familiarity with sound prin ciples which preserves them from the sophistries to which so many! of our people fall easy victims. The interview published yesterday with Archbishop Ireland suggests a direction in which educational efforts might be beneficially directed in our schools. There is i a prevalent misconception of the function which banks play in our social structure? Demagogues play on this ignorance/ and on the prejudices ot people envious*^.' wealth. Banks are made to 'appear.' as. "the money power," one of the choicest of the demagogue's ogres; they are th vampires of society who fasten on it td ! suck from its veins the money which!'- &'* the blood of trade and industry, j If the ■boys an girls who are the men .and; women of today had been taught* at their schools that banks have no money of their own except enough to give them standing * rfiit' credit and confidence; that the money .they own is but a small per cent of the money handled by them; .that they are to the money of the community only what the batchers are to the fann ers who sell and the people who eat meat; what the merchant is to the makers of things and the people who want them; that they simply gather together the small quantities of money which men have more than they can use profitably and lend it in larger sums to those who can use it urolitably; that they are thus as useful and neces sary a part of the modern social fabric as are any of its members, it is not prob able that there would be such things as bank failures, certainly none where prudence and honesty dictated the management. Let us have less fads, less frills and instruction in things not useful in our schools, and more teaching of those affairs into which the boys and girls must soon enter and take part j Teach them the elements of political economy, the nature and use of money, the func tions of banks, and these mmitliing demagogues will have less 100.l and less following, and the nation will have greater peace and trade an i commerce greater security. *■! Imagine the consternation of the New York World force when Maj. Jones walked ii! on them. However, this is by no means the first time Goth am journalism has been invaded by Western brains; and. en passant, to the betterment of Gotham journalism. If, as he confesses, ex-Gov. Camp bell is "not able financially" to run against Gov. McKinlev, why not try a melodramatic failure? CROWDED OCT. [Written for the Globe.] Poets siug of birds and Rowers. Lowing herds and purling brooks, Verdant fields and shady bowers, BosKy dells and --met books. Poets' days are ofstnnes dreary. S-:id the brow and classic luce. • These the words thai make them weary,. . "Crowded out for want of .space.'' ";*'*"' Jack and I and Tom and Harry -Jj ■ Used to court the self-same girl; One of us she meant to many, . , . li she didn't catch an earl. One night I with hopes elated: Sauntered to the trystiu*? place, '■' ; • There Tom. Jack .and Harry wailed— 'is- ** I lied homeward— lack of space. } \X -I Sloudny night I took a street car. Took a seal with room for two. '■'• Just ns usual— hadn't gone far. :;1 * When a fat dame bustled through; ,-,-[ ->i Hesitated ror a minute, Then beside me took her place; * .''- Where was i? Well, - never in if— ? ' Crowded out for want of space. Lv *k, it seams, is ever 'gainst me, "Left" and "sat on"— these my fate: * Speed the dny when I am soai- free, Standing by the gulden gate. If hell's goal my spirit reaches, *,-.-- And I sec old Satan's face. - • I'll not grumble if he screeches: "Crowded out for want of space ." " '* ' * —Michael Joseph Doiineli*-*:. SIA^KING. France has raised the blockade. Siam must now raise the indemnity.— Omaha Bee. The Washington team is making strenuous efforts to loom up as the Siam of the base ball situation. — Washington Post . , France's capacity for absorbing Sia mese territory is limited only by tue limits to the area of Stain. — .Milwaukee Sentinel. The king of Siam wears a golden hat which weighs twenty-seven pounds, but never talks through it— Commercial Advertiser. lt looks very much as though all that France wains from Siam is Siam, with out having any of her get away.—De troit Free Press. The king of Siam wears a golden hat that weighs twent-seven pounds. That's just about the weight of one American jas.— Washington Post. The war in Siam is over. Let the cholera scare once more assume its proud eminence in the estimation of the people.— Chicago (iiobe. Siam should have crawled down as soon as she saw France coining and be fore the latter had a chance to fire ulti matums at her. New York 'Vorld. . Possibly the hitch in the Siamese im broglio arises from the fact that the French cabinet forgot to relieve the king of his 400 clinging wives.— Phila delphia Inquirer. The king of Siam will now laugh and hug his SM wives while England and France are wrangling -over territory that produces nothing but alligators and frog legs.— New York World. If the crown prince of Siam looks like his picture perhaps France had an ul terior and profoundly humane motive in limiting the extent of the domain over which he is to hold sway. — Wash ington Post. RU . ON HUMOR. Time Hies fastest on the wings of a promissory note.— Puck. The epicure is a masticator who ap preciates a master-caterer. — Boston Courier. '.'!-"*--'•' The man who makes music-box. cylin ders has some excuse for putting on airs.— Buffalo Courier. "The question which confronts us!" howled the orator, "is how to front the question."— Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Spruce street girl calls her pet pug Knickerbocker because he is addicted to short pants.— Philadelphia Record..* ~j tl ] "Well!" exclaimed the damsel who got free admission to the world's fair, "things have come to a pretty pass." Washington Star. "Do you use condensed milk at your house?" "No; tne kind we get has been expanded witn twice its weight ot. water." lndianapolis Journal. .- "I understand Jigson is financially interested in the concern he Is with." "Yes. they owe him six months' sal ary." — Westlield Union. The news that a dozen young women have been appointed ushers in a Brook lyn church seems to open up new aisles in the vista of progress.— Tran script. She— Will you see papa tomorrow? Y-yes, if you will give me a letter of introduction. Ho never * knows me when he sees me. — Detroit Free Press. The owner of a nobby carriage who was upset the other day said that he couldn't agree with the spectators who complimented his handsome turnout.— Lowell Courier. •-"£*-*::' ■'-' In horse racing it often happens on a dry track that the steeds are hidden ln dust By the time you notice the one you bet on doesn't come in first the dust is Philadelphia Times. Ah, mere I Indianapolis Journal. He (maliciously): "It is only the fe male mosquito that annoys people." She (musingly): "I notice tnat you take a great delight in mashing them." IN THE SUMMER TIME. The house opposite my place is closed, locked, shuttered, and empty—appar ently. Last wiuter the occupants an nounced to the world and its aunt that they intended spending. the month of August at the world's fair. Alas! "Last winter" was a long time ago; since' then times have leen steadily becoming harder, flintier tnd stonier. Those words just suit these cast iron times. I would like to write a learned treatise on hard times, but must confess I don't understand them; when I ask an ex planation of a financier of the male' per suasion, 1 am treated to an explanation that sets my head in a whirl, and the only ordinary words I can gather are "no confidence," "run on bank," and "silver market." I don't understand why any one but a lunatic would want to run on a bank; better run on the sidewalk: and as I understand . meat markets better than silver markets. I shall continue to trade at the former and let the rest of the country go to the bow-wows, until a man can be educated to give his female friends a reasonably lucid account of financial matters. Have my neighbors opposite gone to the fair? No, indeed: the "financial depression," the "run on the bauk," or the "no confidence," has caught them. Cut they are brave, and will keep up appearances or die in the attempt. They have closed the front of the house, and now live in the kitchen and woodshed— this is a secret only known to their im mediate fourth story neighbors, who cai iook over the high board fence. If you happened to visit one of these high up residents you could look right down in their back yard and spy the family seated on the back porch, intently studying a "Guide to the World's Fair." They are committing to memory the most prominent features. About the first oi September they will quietly sneak out of the back gate just before daylight. A few hours afterward they will .drive up to the front door, make a great commotion, throw open the house, prepare to receive their friends and give more vivid and thrilling descriptions of the White City than it they had derived their information from the original, in stead of a guide book. This weather is not so apt to make one long for Chicago as it is to make one long for a nice stream, with a big, fat grandpa trout ready to swallow any kind of a hook, and then, with his dy ing breath, call on the rest of his family to come and do likewise. I watched a fishing party tliis week at the lake. They started off splendidly; two nice girls, two athletic young men, two fish poles, two bottles— water bottles— and last, but not least, a pail of nice, lively little green frogs. "Surely, they will catch a whale or a sea serpent." thought the bystanders. They anchored right over a big black bass— a weed— they 'couldn't see very distinctly. Suddenly we ,saw botii the girls jump onto* their feet; gather their clothes around them and let out shriek after shriek. The boys seem to have disappeared into the bot tom of the boat or the lake. "Ileip. murder!" yelled, the girls, and their gesticulations would have done credit to a Bernhardt. "Something terrible must have happened; boat probably sprung a leak." said one spectator. "Boys fallen in," said another, and five or six started out 111 it-, to the rescue. It was a terribly hot day, and the res - cuers rowed like mad to the boat where in stood those shrieking females. When Rescuer No. 1 got within ten feet of them they both howled out together: "For heaven's sake, conu* quick and take us out! Tne piil has upset and the -frogs are 'hopping all over the boat! There is one now; help!'* That brave would-be deliverer just stopped long enough to see both boys flat in the watt r in the bottom of the boat, trying to save s mie of their escaping bait. Then he hied himself oack to shore, leaving those shrieking girls to the mercy of those frightful frosgies. The would-be preserver and the preserved are nut peaking during these dog days. He say.-, "Auy person that will inveigle a fellow into rowing two miles iv two minutes because a frog is hopping near her feet," etc., etc. The girls are just as resentful. They have their opinion of a man who will deliberately row away and leave them in a boat with thirteen loose frogs hop ping all over. "Why, they mi-gat have bitten us at any moment." This is ideal weather for moonlight excursions, if the moon cau be per suaded, to come out and . stay out. I prefer a row-boat. S.iil!»o.m are treacherous, and I do not think they are to be trusted since Kitty told me her experience. There was the moon shin ing down on the in, and John oil his knees in the stern just beginning, "Will you be mine, Kitty dear,", when along comes a littlo squall and around goes the boom, sweeping pojr John off his knees into the water. When he was finally hauled aboard he was too full— of water— for further utterance, . and now that Southern girl's dark eyes have played havoc with his susceptible sum mer heart, and Kitty fears he will never finish the sentence that uiirouiantic boom interrupted. I fear Kitty didn't want this repeated, but 1 wish to give it out as a warning toother loving couples to steer clear of sailboats until every thing is settled. There is something about steamboats, also, that takes the romance out of any thing less than a bridal couple. Perhaps it >s the smell of the oil and smoke. imagine calling your girl a darling and getting a mouthful of oil and cinders; or insinuate that she is an angel, have to repeat it four times, and finally scream it out like a Zulu in order to be heard above the throbbing engines. Then, if she laughs at you, that infernal whistle is sure to shriek out in derision and let the whole world know what a fool you have made of yourself. Wheu you are left alone you demand satisfac tion of the pilot or captain, take your choice. If they tell yon that the whistle was a signal to another boat, don't be lieve them. It was intended as a personal insult. 1 fear that our summer girls are for getting that "cleanliness is next to god —(MarK Twain.) If they kept that proverb before tlieir eyes they would not wear white shoes. I never saw a clean pair outside of a show win dow. They also make the smallest dantiest foot look overgrown. If you must wear them with a white dress don't, oh don't have the dress washed; the contrast is too frightful. I saw a girl going out to the lake last week. She knew that white foot pear was fashion able, and was not going to be outdone by any oue, so she wore a pair of white cotton hose and the finest of white ball slippers. Her dress was dark green cashmere, trimmed with sea-green cheese cloth. I won't take the responsi bility of describing what she wore on her head. There really wasn't enough of It to see without a spyglass. * - This weather is responsible for some very peculiar effects. I met a "polka dotted girl on Wabasha street. She had a pretty complexion, but at regular in tervals it wu dotted with . little red spots. It gave her the strangest leopard appearance; also looked as if her face had been cut from the latest style of summer silk. Quite a mob of small boys was in attendance, and I was in clined to pause until the brass band, which generally . attends freaks, should appear. I met a girl friend just then, and tried to interest her in this phenomenon. "You dear stupid thing," she conde scendingly remarked, "don't you know what has caused that face?" I meekly acknowledged that 1 did not. unless it was an unwise providence. "Nothing of the kind." she explained, "she was .foolish enough to wear a dark spotted veil down town, she has it in her hand at this moment Of course she has per spired, and her veil became unbearable; then she took it off, but the perspiration has left the dye on her face. She must be from Mendota or she would have known better." Thus my delusion about this wondeiful freak was dis pelled by a most ordinary explanation. 1 wish they would put up an estab lishment wherein hypnotism would be administered during this weather. Im agine dropping 10 cents in a slot and immediately being made to think that, instead of suffering with the thermome ter above 90, you are freezing with a coat on. How delicious that would be! Who wouldn't be perfectly willing to merge their own identity into an other mind that would make them dream of arctic waves and icebergs? I always choose August to read about Greedy, the cruise of the Jeanette and other arctic explorations. The tale of their hardships will make cold chills run up and down your backbone. A chill at any price would be welcome just now. E. 11. K. SILVER APOSTLES. The resolutions of the silver conven tion are of "thundering sound,'.' and as for the length— but they are not of "learned" length.— Milwaukee Wiscon sin. With all due respect for the zeal and patriotism of the silverites, it might be timely for them to remember that eco nomic problems are not solved by reso lution.—Milwaukee Journal. Some foolish thin irs have been said by the bimetallists, and many more foolish things will be said, no doubt, but there is much that is worthy of study iv speeches like that of Allen W. Thur man. — Rochester Post Express. The country is all right and is going to stay all tight; business will very soon be all right, and the silver West will laugh with us at the practical joke in which it tried to bluff us out of the repeal.— New York Telegram. The silver mine owners'demonstra tion in Chicago should have no more in fluence than would be a meeting of the whisky makers with a demand for leg islation which would double the value of their product.— lndianapolis Journal. The silver miners are trying to sub stitute a silver for a gold standard which would not help anybody but the miners themselves. The country would gain nothing by exchanging the domin ion of one monopoly for another. -at. l.o.iis Post-Dispatch. It is easy enough for the silver con vention at Chicago to settle the national financial problem. The real financial problem which gave them most trouble to settle seems to have been the rent for the hall in which they met. We trust that the president is closely study in-*: the proceedings of the silver convention at Chicago. If he is not, he is missing a fine opportunity to learn just what the country ought not to do in the way of financial legislation.— Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. While there is and should be a strongly sympathetic feeling for the distressed silver slates, that is no reason why there should be any stock taken by the people at larse in tiie visionary and vicious schemes proposed by the ultra silverites.— Detroit Journal. A convention of heated, angry par tisans cannot settle this question. The subject is now in the hands of congress. It represents the people. From the wild convention in Chicago the country appeals to the calm and sober delioera tion of its'chosen representatives.— New York Recorder. It is plain, from the utterances made by hailing delegates, that "the backs" Ot the silverites are "up," and that they are not going to be whipped into com pliance with the behests of the Sherman act repealers without a very determined struggle.— Orleans Times-Demo crat. '.*-.' CONGRESS COMING. If an election of congress should be held now, who would will?— Baltimore American. The people do not care how long congress remains in session provided it repeals the Sherman act to start with.— St. Louis Globe. Only three more days intervene be tween this and the assembling of a congress pledged to reduce the tariff.— St. Louis Republic. Col. Dan Lament's blue pencil pro clivities ought to be of valuable assist ance to the president in tne prepara tion ot his message.— Washington Post. It ought not take congress long to de cide what to put in place of the 53-ceut silver dollar. One worth 100 cents will just fill the need of the hour.— New York Recorder. Congressman Blair, of New Hamp shire, has beguun to move on Washing ton. Whenever the country needs Blair he patriotically comes forward early and stays late.— New York World. If promptness in repealing the silver purchase clause could lie secured there by, we should be willing to have the proceedings of the silver convention published in the Congressional Keeoid. ~— New York world. No congress ever met with a clearer popular demand than the one which assembles a week from yesterday, it is summoned to suspend the purchase of silver. It ought to do this and it ought to do nothing else. —Philadelphia Press. As the time tortile meeting of con gress draws nearer.it becomes more ap parent that the campaigu which Mr. Cleveland has been prosecuting in his party for the repeal of the silver pur chase act has been far more successful than was expected.— Omaha Bee. The work of the friends of silver in congress has been cut out for them by the bimetallic convention, and voiced in resolutions adopted by that magnifi cent gathering of representative Amer ican citizens yesterday. The free and unlimited coinage of silver at a ratio of lt> to I is the basis upon which the battle must be fought.— Denver Times. California Ail Right. Sau Francisco Call. So far as California is concerned the financial flurry is over. The banks are resuming their normal relations to in dustries. When men whose business it is to look for the clouds and whose re sponsibility inclines them to magnify danger signals voluntarily declare the skies serene, the community at large may safely devote themselves to the completion of old enterprises and the promotion of new ones. There are things now at work which will put a new face on affairs in California. "The Forgotten Man." Lao gui Parle County Press. The St. Paul Globe of Tuesday last, in au editorial under the heading of "The Forgotten Man," gives Justice Mitchell, ot the supreme court of the state, a little scolding for his decision in the recent case of Bohu Manufacturing Company vs. The Northwestern Lum bermen's Association, that was indeed, timely and well administered. We con gratulate the Globe upon having gotten far enough out of the sloiish of par tisanship to chide a member of its own political party for an act that must prove detrimental to the Interests of the people. -"- :-y>y-. DISAPPOINTED. I— What's this ? A runaway marriage. 2-Great heavens! The couple were pursued by the bride's father. , 3 -The father was about to seize the girl when she fainted. But luckily the groom had a bottle of nerve tonic made by Doctor Fl 4— Great heavens ! It's a newspaper ad vertisement. By nam's Bimetallism. Philadelphia Kecord. Representative Bynum, of Indiana, says that he is neither for free silver nor for free gold, but that he is an out-and out bimetallist. All right. Let Mr. Bynum help to stop the movement to wards silver monometallism by voting tor the repeal of the Sherman law, and he may cultivate his theory of bimetal lism at his leisure without any serious harm to himself or to anybody else. It must be obvious to so able and intelli gent a representative that the actual and practical question before the coun try is not one of bimetallism, bill of a iii,inious descent in silver monometal- ! lism. Every representative who shall vote against fie immediate and uncon- 1 ditional stoppage of silver purchases by I the treasury department will record ' himself asa silver mononietallist, no ] matter what abstract theory of bimetal- ! lism he may entertain. ; ? hake! Boston Herald. Congressman Geary's opinion that the Sherman act ought to be wiped (rom the statute ■ books is encouraging. So is Senator Sherman's opinion that the same treatment should be accorded to the Geary act. These two statesmen i can shake hands on a mutual lack of j continence in the act of the other. Alphabetic Tremens. Chicago Uccord. Welcome to.latjnt Jit Singh, mahara jah of Kapurthala and raja i rajgan. He is a fine democratic potentate, even if his name is an alphabetic delirium. GERMAN Pi t^t^Th A tf 5 /3* African SPECIAL NOTICE TO DEPOSITORS! ANYBODY who has Certificates of Deposit on the above bank can use them with us in pay ment for Sealskin or other Fur Garments. We have perfect confidence in this or any other St. Paul Bank. We don't think this country has gone to sheol, or is going there. Of course, we (like everybody else) are "hard up" for cash, and we will make special prices on Fur Garments for next Fall delivery to any body who will come in and order NOW. We don't want to close our shop, and will not unless compelled, and, in order not to do so, will take REPAIRS AT COST the balance of this month. Come in and see us. Perhaps you can make THE PANIC profitable. r ■" **■ WAITE'S MOUTH. One great trouble with Gov. Waite is that he won't wait -New York Even ing World. .' • -"•--: . Gov. Waite has evidently come down |fr n his high horse. First the blood I w i up to his bridle; now he speaks of , w ling in it— Omaha World-Herald. I If Gov. Waite has nothing to offer ! excepting his "bloody bridle" chestnut he should subside. For awhile he was amusing, but he has already ceased to be so. His little day is over.—Milwau kee Sentinel. ' Gov. Waite writes to Rev. Silliman Blagden. of this city, that "blood totlie horses' bridl.vs" is from Rev. xiv.. 20. Thus the governor's famous utterance is robbed of its chief charm, originality. —Boston Globe. Powderly, Donnelly, "Bloodv Bridles" Waite, Kolb and Taubeneck, the Popu lists, and ex-Congressman Bel ford, the "Red-Headed Rooster of the Rockies," are a few of the "characters" who are at the silver convention. Every one that is in distress, every one that is in debt, and every one that is discontented resorted to that Cave of Adullam in Chicago. -St. Louis Globe-Democrat _ With Ignatius Donnelly. Gov. Waite, Terence Y. Powderlv and twenty or thirty other cranks of similar caliber to turn to the pnblic gaze the seamy side of the silver question at the Chicago convention, there is little doubt that the proceedings ot that gathering will havo a wholesome effect God help the coun try which accepts financial instruction at the hands of such dancing mounte banks and lunatics!— Philadelphia Rec ord. ! It is not often that a man makes a '-consummate ass of himself twice in I succession. Considerate friends can \ usually be found to stem the npnrqaeh | ing tide and prevent the repetition of a | scene which they have come to regard l with dread and dismay. Therefore it • must be concluded that Gov. Waite, of i Colorado, either has no friends who | have his own good and that of the prin j ciples which he represents at heart, or that they are unable to control his ut terances.—Kansas City Times. At Chicago an undisciplined but nu merous bony of delegates has been in session to launch into politics a new cry: "No politics, but silver." lis committees will appear in Washington next week, and printed copies of the speeches will be scattered over the country. What does the presence of Ignatius Donnelly, Powderly, Waite, Kolb and Taubeneck mean'? Have they and their friends gone only to say a word for free coinage of gold and sil ver.* Hardly. They are not gold and silver men. Their money is money which has no cost of production or re demption.—St. Louis Republic. «**> — . - FAMOUS MURDKR CASE ! Will Re Reopened After lliirty. Four Years. Cleveland, ()., Aug. 5,— A famous case of murder, which occurred in Ger many iv 1859, is about to be reopened by John Schaber, a wealthy picture frame manufacturer of this city, who has all this time rested undei conviction for complicity ii: the crime. The murder oce in red at Hoppen bach, Wurtemburg, in July, 1859, and grew out of a carousal of a company of young men, of whom Mr. Schauer was one. He anil George Eckstein were arrested, and, under the operation of the inquisition! the latter avowed their guilt. Schaber made a halt confession, though lie was in no condition at tno time of the crime lo know after wards what had happened: Both men were senteuced to death, but the pun ishment was later changed to lite im- I prisonment. '1 wenty years ago both j were pardoned on condition 'th.it they l leave the country, which they did. Lately behaber lias discovcreu that Eckstein is living at Bucyrus, 0., and trom him he has got the avowal thai his confession, on which they were con victed, was false. Depositions will be taken on Nov. 12, and Seliaber expects io prove his inno cence in a case now pending in Ger many over a newspaper libel connected witn the actions 01 toe lawyer who dc tended Schaber years ago. Ancient Landmarks. An lowa poiice judge.having declared that the two old cronies, "John Doe" and "Richard Roe," shall no longer have standing in his court, it will bo in order for dialogue writers to drop Messrs. "Weary Watkins" and ••Hungry Higgins" irom the tunny column. Tile old landmarks are rapidly crumbling tv oust. Col. Black Dead. Chicago, Aug. 5.— C01. Henry M. | Black, one of the best-known otlicers | of the regular army, died here today. i He had a distinguished record for serv j ice during the Rebellion, and was com* I mandant at West Point for several years, and was put on the retired list iv 1891. Couldn't Talk Forever. Chicago Tribune. j If the Bering sea arbitration case goes i against the United States the conviction ! will be almost forced upon us that Coun i sel Carter forgot a great many things he : intended to say in his little impromptu 1 speech of some weeks ago. I^l es^ *SL * *&, % ¥