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TRACING THE VAUDEVILLE.
THE LAND OF THE PYRAMIDS ITS
HEBREW SERFS ON .THE STAGE
The Druids of England Familiar
With the Black Art— Nautch
Girls in India— The Modern
"Panjandrums" and "Wangs"
Really Little Else Than Vaude
ville—An Interesting Review.
Bpecial Correspondence of the Globe
Chicago, Dec 22.— The vaudeville
performance In 6ome form or other can
be successfully traced back almost to
the very fountain-head of history. It
can be traced back almost to the very
beginning of Egypt— the land of the
Pharaohs, the pyramids.the Sphinx and
the Nile. Here was the earliest historic
home of vaudeville. By earliest historic
home It is meant that the stream of vau
deville performances which has gone on
trickling down through the ages and
has at this day widely fertilized Europe
and the stages of America, first found
its source and spring there. In a coun
try so fertile and one that could easily
support a very dense population, espe
cially as water afforded so easy
facilities for transportation; where gold
and precious stones were plentifully
taken from the earth, it might be well
imagined the people had some form of
enjoyment and entertainment. Eminent
Greek scholars, in their successful ef
forts to restore the Greek text, and
Egyptologists have discovered hiero
glyphical records of performances given
by the subjects and followers of the
earliest of#Egyptian monarchs, Menes,
at tho completion of the Dyke of Co
chenke. which even to this day some
what regulates the overflow of the Nile.
This same ancient Menes caused tem
ples to be erected in nearly every town
or village, which were the main features
of these towns, and upon certain days
of the year, although the ancient Egypt
ians were remarkable for their piety,
caused certain performances or exhi
bitions to be given, which included feats
of strength and exhibitions of skill and
dexterity with certain rude •weapons.
Following the clue thus furnished, it
has been set forth, with much logical
proof, that the earliest vaudeville per
formances were given to entertain the
members of the royal house of Mem
phis, dating back B. C. 4400. Perform
ances of this nature can be traced, in
some form or other, from that time
down until B. C. 3300, when for a long
time following nearly all of the history
of Egypt is lost except the names of a
list of kings, among whom are Menu,
Moses and Minos, who succeeded
Menes. From later history it is possi
ble that after the completion of the
Sphinx— called by the Arabs "The
.TFXK-XS AXD HIS TRAINED MULE JAS
Lion of the Night"— rejoicing of some
nature was indulged in by the follow
ers of whoever might have been the
builder of the strange and silent monu
ment that for centuries has been gazing
across the drifting sands of the Sahara.
The first specialty or vaudeville per
formers to execute what in that day
was considered a difficult act were
probably the Hebrew slaves'who "made
bricks without straw." Various his
tories make slight intimation that Abra
ham had among the flocks which he
drove into Egypt lambkins that could
Jump over his sandaled foot when it
was held in the air, and do other un
usual tricks that much amused the sub
lets and people of the tenth king of
Memphis, who was then reign*ng. How
much farther back into the past vaude
ville or specialty performers can bo
traced is, of course, associated with
that degree of uncertainty that
is picturing primitive man where
much is the result of poetic fancy. Per
haps the nearest reference to anything
ot the sort is made in the Roman poet
Horace's prophecy of what would be
discovered after him, when he wrote:
"When these brutes, now called men,
first crawled out of the ground, a dumb
and dirty lot, they fought for nuts and
sheltering spots with nail and fists,
then sticks, and later with arms forged
of metal. With language and thought
came cities and games, and thereby
Borne relief from strife."
These games evidently planted the
seeds of what is now the variety show,
a branch of the theatrical business that
probably employs more performers than
all other branches combined.
When the bronze age contributed the
nativity of intellectual force, and the
Vikings then wrought their rude imple
ments of war, and the chase from bits
of meteoric iron, victories were cele
brated by strange dances and exhibi
tions of proficiency with weapons aud
tests of strength and endurance.
|»ecdrds of performances are obtain
able given by the followers of the
mighty Nimrod to celebrate the comple
tion of tlie walls of one of his cities,
While the great Nebuchadnezzar em
ployed troupes of fighting warriors and
jjpinning girls, who gave performances
nt public rejoicings of the people. Sen
nacherib presented to the citizens of
Nineveh interesting divertissements,
even rivaling the famous Olympian
games. The Egyptians aud Persians,
In the days of Cyrus the Great, and
Cleopatra, years after Menes, were as
fond of amusements, and, it is told, they
encouraged and supported even larger
and better troupes of performers than
do the Persians and Egyptians of this
world's fair year.
When the Romans landed on the
coast of Tin Land, or present England,
they found that the Druids, who dis
puted their claims to the country, were
most wonderfully familiar In the black
art, and had a strange concoction of re
THE SAINT PAUL DAILY GLOBE: SUNDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 24, TWENTY PAGES. -CHRISTMAS SUPPLEMENT. -
ligion and amusement that included the
performance of companies of men who
had become so dexterous in these exhi
bitions as to be continually held as pro
fessional entertainers. Among these
were conjurors, necromancers, jugglers,
play modelers, snake charmers and
dancers. Before this in Egypt, bands
of street entertainers performed for the
delectation of the ladies of the harems,
who viewed these specialty artists from
their latticed windows. All : records
show that juggling and comic exhibi
tions were always In high favor, while
the conjuror, the juggler and the snake
charmer^ as well as the clay modeler, .
were engaged as professionals to appear
at state fetes. Pharaoh had his select
lot of court musicians, magicians, jug
glers and dancing girls, and the queen
ot Sheba entertained her Roman lover,
Mark Antony, with the performance
of the most wonderful professionals in
all Egypt. _*.' 'AjZ^
The Chinese, too, were not without
their vaudeville exhibitions. They en
joyed performances of figures something
after the pattern of our Punch and
Judy, and had companies of oddly
dressed musicians centuries ago. The
Japanese had marionette exhibitions,
and the Dal Ang, or puppet show.which
afterwards became famous in England,
are known to have been given with
favor in Japan when the earliest Dutch
navigators visited those shores. The
Japanese have been entertained with
dancing girls, wrestlers, conjurers and
gymnasts since the first of the Shogauns,'
and from close scrutiny of " records
obtainable, their exhibitions were the
same before the introduction of Chris
tianity as they are in 1893. When the
mighty Alexander wedged into India,
he discovered a people who were
amused by vaudeville performers, rep
resenting nearly every department of
the variety profession as we know it
today. There in that land of gold was
the acrobat, the wonderful Indian ma
gician who has never been equaled even
up to now, the quoit thrower, the dex
terous swordsman, dancing girls, clay
modelers, grizzled buffoons, story tell
ers, snake charmers, experts on mu
sical instruments, and the conventional
wandering minstrel, with "shreds
and patches," were as familiar
sights there then as they are
today. Crowds of Nautch girls.perhaps
not much unlike those who pirouetted
on the Midway Plaisance the past sum
mer, companies of musicians and large
troupes of performers gave outdoor ex
hibitions in the larger towns or roamed
about and exhibited their skill and dex
terity in the streets of villages. All the
tribes of Africa, with perhaps the single
exception of the bushman and the pig
mies, have professional entertainers
who give performances which.in a great
measure, correspond with many of our
vaudeville acts of the present day. The
gorgeousness of the Alhambra and the
wonders of the entertainments of the
Moors are as well known as the history
of Spain, and as the drama, as we
consider it, formed no part nor parcel
of such entertainments, they must be
designated as in the category of vaude
ville, which includes all of the different
kind of entertainments given by the
ancients, with the additions and im
provements made by the increasing de
mand for novelty and the refinement
suggested by our advanced civilization.
The nearest approach to originality in
the vaudeville business is the negro
minstrel portion, which is purely Amer
ican in character and execution. The
minstrel stage gave many great dramatic
and operatic stars of the first magnitude
their start In public life, and was for
many years the only portion of the va
ried* business patronized by intellectual
people. It is not many years since a
first-class minstrel troupe would draw
the same class of audience as an opera
company. Minstrelsy was then the
fashion, and the prominent minstrel
halls of the large cities were among the
best-paying amusement concerns in the
Beyond a doubt there is nothing new
in the business. What we see now we
have seen before many and many time,
possibly in another form, but the same
character of act. The strong-man busi
ness done by Sandow was a feature of
the earliest American circus, and the
irrepressible serpentine dance of today
is but an elaboration of the Hindoo
Nautch girl. The London gaiety dance
has been done for centuries by the
dancing girls of Persia and Java. In
fact, everything now done on the va
riety stage was done before the word
variety was applied to theatricals.
The first English added to the list of
specialties, and began to dignify their
productions by the erection of booths or
small portable theaters or tents, and
began to charge an admission fee in
stead of giving performances in the
open air, and those depending on the
liberality of those who witnessed them,
and the booth and tent of the English
fair of today is but an elaboration of
what had been in use many years he
fore we had variety theaters on this
side of the ocean. The music hall In
London "today is probably the most
WILT. XI. FOX AS PADEREWSKI, ]
prosperous of any amusement resort in
all the English metropolis. It is not so
many years back that it was necessary
to engage variety performers to
do their specialties between the
acts of dramas or operas, and
thereby Insure a larger audience,
but variety, erroneously called vaude
ville, did not prosper in America Inde
pendently in such a manner as the Hop
kins company travels over the country
uutil the breaking out of the War of the
Rebellion, During that conflict was the
variety manager's great chance. The
soldiers oa furlough, sutlers, army
contractors, recruiting officers and those
who suddenly found their pockets
bulging, with greenbacks through the
fact that that" circulating medium was
so plentiful as to be readily secured,
literally swarmed in the Northern cities
and were ever ready and eager to spend
much money for what they had or could
secure in the way of amusements, implf
..Comic opera with its "Lion Tamers,"
"Panjandrums" and "Wangs," as we
havg Ming to regard Jit nowadays, is
really but little more than vaudeville."
This can also be said of the average
performance of farce comedy. In
neither of these is there scarcely ever
any plot, but are used as vehicles
merely to Introduce a jumble of special
ties, songs aud dances.
One potent reason why high-class
vaudeville performances have come into
such favor reoently is because they bd
peal to those who witness them by offer-,
ing an entertainment that amuses'
without taxing. The more select of the
social set of New York have formed
their vaudeville club, and at stated in
tervals engage vaudeville performers
of the best class to appear before
them. When these artists do this
they are paid by the nabobs of
Gotham unusually large salaries. It
has only been, however, within the last
few seasons that the representative
vaudeville organizations have been
given dates at the leading theaters.
The variety theater of thirty years
ago gave usually a performance in
which there was much minstrelsy, with
this appeared club-swinging perform
ers, trapeze acts, serio-comic singers
and other exhibitions of acrobats,
magicians and dancers. This perform-,
ance usually concluded with some sort
of a farce, in which American patriot
ism was proclaimed as frequently as
convenient to please the soldier audi
ences. At the close of the rebellion of
'Gl-5, nearly three-fourths of the vaude
ville theaters of America closed. It
was some time after this, how
ever, that American theaters were
willing to take the risk of Im
porting from the music halls of London
and Europe vaudeville artists, the nov
elty and extreme difficulty in the per
formance of whose acts entitled them to
what might be considered exorbitant
salaries. Vaudeville in Ameiica has
steadily beep oh the increase of popu
larity since ISO 6. One reason why there
are at present but tw6 vaudeville or
ganizatl6ns of the best class traveling
in America is because of the difficulty
managers find in securing at reasonable
prices acts that will be novel and at the
same time interesting and entertaining
to their patrons. Manager John B.
Hopkins, the proprietor of the Hopkins
Trans-Oceanic Star Specialty com
pany, may perhaps be credit
ed with being the most success
ful organizer of high-class vaudeville
companies in this country. Each
summer Mr. Hopkins personally visits
as many important music halls of
Europe as Is consistent to secure per
formers. He has agents In nearly
every country In Europe and frequently
is obliged to engage his artists several
years In advance of the time set for
their appearance in Ameiica. The
manner In which he secures some of his
performers is almost accidental and
somewhat curious; for instance, while
in company with Trewey, the shadow
graphlst in Paris, summer before last,
the two visited a certain studio for the
purpose of securing a plaster of Paris
THE EAUSOX Gi:U.S.
model to be shaped after- certain
ideas which the manager had and
to be used for advertising pur
poses. While at the studio Mr.
Hopkins met De Berssell, a painter
and sculptor. De Berssell was at that
time but tweuty-two years of age, and
little more than a journeyman work
man. De Berssell undertook to make
the clay model for the American man
ager. He made thirty-five or forty balls
of clay about the size of a big orange,
and placed before him on an easel a
board about four feet square. Then he
stood off ton feet from the board, picked
up the clay balls from the table with
his right hand and in turn threw them
to the board with his left. After throw
ing fifteen of these balls, the outline of
a head was visible. He then left
the tabie nnd went up tbe board,
pinching and smoothing the clay with
his fingers, making thereby eyes, a nose
and the semblance of an expression.
At the expiration of thirty-one seconds
he had a portrait of Trewey natural as
life. This greatly amused the manager
to see the way and with what rapidity
De Berssell fingered the clay. The
professor then said: "Now I'll make
M. Trewey as he looks at different
times during the day." In the morning
he was represented with a long face,
crying; at noon a stern and determined
face, and at night laughing heartily.
These three changes were made inside
of five seconds. This Mr. Hopkins pro
nounced remarkable, and asked De
Bersseli if he had ever attempted to
portray the features of any individuals
outside of those he might frequently
meet or was familiar with? He replied
that he could make faithful pictures of
any individual on the globe. Mr. Hop
kins inquired of De Berssell what sort
of a salary he was then making in Paris,
and was told about 10 francs a week.
He asked him how he would like to earn
£20 a week, and the nimble-fingered
frenchman thought the American was
making' game of him, smiled and
said he would bo overjoyed to
make half that. He was engaged.
He is already beginning to like Amer
ica and speaks some English. He
throws the clay balls with remarkable
accuracy. It is told that some three
months ago wjiile the Howard company
was playing In New York, this clever
French modeler visited Coney Island,
and tried bis luck at throwing for cigars
at the duihfty babies that are a feature
among t]i_B pastimes of tliat. resoft.. IJIs
accuracy of aim came near bankrupting
the astonished proprietor, who at last
gave the Frenchmau a £10 bill it _*
would consent to stay away from Els
place In the future. He is' a native of
Nicgj He went to Paris at the age of
Another remarkable act performed In
the Hopkins company is by the Lars
Larsen family of Danish acrobats, who
aie also now touring the country for
the first time. The family comprises
the father, whose present age is forty
one years; the wife, aged thirty-five,
and three daughters, aged respectively
fourteen, sixteen and seventeen. This
family was secured by Mr. Hopkins for
their present tour with his company,
two years ago, through M. Pospesical, a
theatrical agent in Paris. Upon learn
ing of the Larseus' wonderful act. Mr.
Hopkins made a personal visit to Co
penhagen, where tbe family was then
performing, and was not - able to
secure them for" appearance In
this country until he had offered them a
very large salary. Among some of the
unusual things performed by the mem
-- -7 -■-■„...-■ * W
bers of this family are: One girl 1 * per
forms fifty-six "flip-flaps" in -fifty-two
seconds; more in the same length of
time than has ever before been per
formed by any gymnast, either male or
female. The youngest daughter stands
on her father's forearm, turns one for
ward and two backward somersaults
and relights oh the father's arm. All
three girls perform what is known
among acrobat* as "tin? one-baud gland'"
on their fathers hand. Thfe J perform
all sorts of Arabian tumbling and
m.p-erpiig other things that, to say
the least, nave ne?er been -_£-
tempted by women gymnasts. They are
all healthy and strong aud have never
known a day of sickness. The weight
of the father is about 100 pounds; the
mother 135, and the girls range from 105
to 120. The resemblance to each othor
Is so marked that it is undoubtedly
true that they all belong to the same
family, which cannot be said of the
Schneffers and numerous other so
called "families" of acrobats.
Verily, the popularity of vaudeville
is on the increase. But it's been a long
time getting there, hasn't it? FoiSt
thousand four hundred years before
Christ— humph! That's older than the
minstrel joke about the fond mother
who sent her little sen to the butcher
shop to see if the butcher had pigs feet,
and the boy came back and said he
couldn't tell because the butcher had
his shoes on. .yt\~A
ClI ARLES ASTOR PARKER.
SOLD HIS WIFE.
In tho Sale of His Laundry a
Chinaman Disposes of Her.
Quong Lung Sing, of Berkeley, Col.,
recently sold his laundry there to Keong
Ah Kow, throwing his wife iv "to
boot." Now the wife is missing, having
gone to Portland, and neither the hus
band nor the purchaser seems able to
get possession of her. .'.--
Quong Lung Sing has kept a laundry
on Addison street, near the East Berke
ley railway station, for the last two,
years, according to the story in the San
Francisco Examiner, and has grown,
somewhat affluent on the patronage of
the college students, the professors of
the university, aud a goodly number of
the townspeople. He has kept from
eight to ten fellow Chinamen at work
turning out immaculate linen in his
establishment, and unmistakable pros
perity iia_> reigned. ..'.^r.V,
About one month ago the laundry
changed hands. Keong Ah Kow is the
new proprietor. He claims to be one of
Quong's "cousins," and swears that
Wang Ho, Quong's wife, was made over
as his property when he bought the
The story of Wang Ho is stormy.
When Quong had made some money he
said he would send for his wife in
China, and so about a year and a half
ago Wang Ho, a pretty Chinese girl, be
came an inmate of the household, say
ing she was Mrs. Quong. The cruel
manner in which she was treated
caused much comment, and the neigh
bors have known her repeatedly to. run
out of the liouse screaming with terror..
The specialty for which her companions
seemed to prize her was the dexterity
with which she could steal chickens and
conceal them within her robes.
Last October Quong determined to sell
his laundry, and, the financial stringency
having made money somewhat tight
among the Chinese, he felt constrained
to offer some unusual inducement to
would-be purchasers. Hence it was that
he signified his willingness to transfer
his wife without extra charge.and hence
it was that his cousin, In acquiring the
laundry, acquired Wang Ho as one of
the "appurtenances thereunto belong
ing." The sale accomplished, Quoug,
hied him to Portland. -j
But the men had reckoned without
Wang Ho and she didn't see her way
clear to staying sold. On the contrary,
she broke into Keong Ah Kow's trunk
the day after Quong's departure, help
ed herself to 8250 and fled ■to Portland,
When she reached the city she claimed.,
the protection of the police, who there**
upon refused to give her up to her hus
band when that unworthy presented his
credentials. ~ -~
_■ POISONING IN INDIA.
Where It Is Convenient to Dispose
of an Enemy Without Sus
"Although the English government
keeps strict surveillance over its sub
jects in India, it does not seem able to
stop the wholesale poisoning going on
among the natives there every year,"
said William Eckstein, the London iron
! manufacturer, who was in the city re
. cently. ' AA' ,
' "It seems innate In the native Hindoo
to poison if ne desires to get rid of some
one who is in his way. The poisons
which the natives use produce about
the same symptoms as the poison of a
snake. Tho victim dies suddenly, and
is cremated within an hour or two after
death, so there is no opportunity of
investigating the cause. The poisoner,
to further deceive, usually makes a cut
in the leg or arm with a knife, such as
the fangs of the snake would make, so
that it is difficult to distinguish a vic
tim of the snake from the victim of the
poisoner. There are thousands of deaths
put on the government registers every
year that are attributed to the bites of
snakes. I'll venture to say that but a
small percentage of these "are from that
cause. In traveling through India it is
rarely that a ! snake will attack you, for
as soon as it hears any one approaching
it usually glides away. Europeans are
seldom bitten on account ot the boots
and leggins they wear, but the uatives,
who go barefooted, occasionally stop
upon a reptile which strikes them, and
death results in a few hours.
"The English government offers 6
pence a head for every poisonous snake
killed in India. I know of some places
where natives went into the business of
breeding cobras for the purpose of get
ting this bounty, and made a good busi
ness out of it. In lower Bengal, where
snakes are held to be sacred, you find
them in profusion, for it is considered
sacrilege to kill them. I remember a
house in which 1 rested in that district
in which it was usual to kill one or two
cobras a day. Snakes had got between
the walls of sun-dried brick, and once
in a while would steal out of a hole like
BANK OF FRANCE NOTES.
How They Are Got Rid of After.
They Have Served Their Purpose.
The life of a Bank of France note is
about two years, It being issued so long
as it is usable. In the matter of de
stroying their notes set apart for can
cellation a new departure has been
made by the Bank of France.
The former practice was to incarcer
ate their doomed notes for three years !
in a large oak chest before submitting -
then! fo conflagration. Thereupon a
huge fire was set aflame In an open
court; the' notes were thrown into a
sort of revolving wire cage, which was
kept f'otatlug over the fire, and the
rhinutd bartfcles of note-ash escaped
into the alt through the meshes of ' the
cage and darkened the atmosphere all
around. The burnings took place"__aily,
and were of a certain amount. Now
the practice is to have about twenty
cancellations of notes each year, at un
certain times and as the needs of the
A hole is punched in each of the notes,
which are also stamped as follows:
"Canceled the by the branch at ,
or the head office of the Bank of
France." The notes are then marked
off in the registers of . bank notes
issued, according to their numbers and
descriptions. A committee of bank'
directors are. present at their destruc
tion. The canceled notes are no longer
burned, but are now reduced into pulp
by means of chemical agents.
Each destruction of notes averages
about 600,000 of all kinds, and about.
12,000,000 notes are annually destroyed.
The Bank of France has been little
troubled of late with forgeries. The
greatest forger it ever had was deported
to Cayenne, and In attempting to escape
got stuck in a swamp and was eaten to
death by crabs.
PRAYER TO SANTA GLAUS.
HUMBLE SUPPLICATION . ON THE EVE
THIS WANTS OF ONE AMERICAN.
He Desires a Couple of Silver
Mines, a Railroad or Two, a
3l Steamboat Line Here and
" There and the Presidential
" Chair of the United States
r ' to Boot.
Good saint, thou knowest my wants are few,
.I do not ask for much ; .
I do not ask for the earth, •
: The sun and sta is and such.
For sordid gold and vulgar wealth. .>
. Let others pray to thee
Ten million dollars is enough,
i. Is full enougb for me.
I do not ask for wealth to lend.
But just a trifling sum to spend.
Give me a couple silver mines,
I ask no more —but hold !
You might throw lv, perhaps, good saint,
A little mine of gold.
Sweet saint, I will not ask for much.
Because my wants ere few,
But I would like a dozen ships,
A steamboat line or two.
Thou need'st, to me, but little bring,
SANTA CLAUS TARALYZED.
For I'm a plain, old-fashioned thing;
A plain, unostentatious man,
Who scorns all style aud show,
And, like a plain man, do I ask
; For little here below;
A trifling railroad here and there
I Tbat pays, say 12 per cent.
A street of houses In Sow York,
. And I will be content.
And. if it's all the same to you.
Throw In a Boston street or two.
I have no vulgar wish for fame,
j And I would not be great-
Just a plain mayor of the town,
; Or governor of the state.
And sometime, when you're passing gif
j Good saint, if you can spare,
You might just lend me for eight years
• The presidential chair.
I'm pleased with any gift you bring—
For I'm a plain, old-fashioned thing.
CHRISTMAS REFLECTIONS ON
WILLIAM Q. SMITH.
: The best advice that I can give all
people at this Christmas season of the
year is to tell them to imitate William
1 You don't know William Q. Smith?
Well, William Q. Smith was one of the
gang. - _ --• -■..
| If William Q. Smith had half tried he
might have been one of the elite. He
might have been a member of the Four
Hundred; for, .although.* in* nature's
general distribution of brains he re
ceived more, than his share, he might
have joined the Four Hundred and kept
his brains in a state of repression.
William Q. Smith might have been very
exclusive and flocked unanimously by
himself, and stood on the ridge
pole of the trembling planet and waited
for the great axis of the world to wobble
when he twirled his thumb. William Q.
Smith might have been the top film on
the creme de la creme; but William Q.
Smith preferred to be one of the gang.
William Q. Smish never talked about
"the masses," "the hoi polloi," "the
proletariat" or "the rag-tag and bob
tail." He never seemed to know but he
was "a mass," a "hoi polloi,,' "a prole
tariat," or "a rag-tag and bob-tail" him
self. . .
"I am one of the gang," says he, "and
If friend Darwin wag right we are all
marching together on a long journey
between Monkeydom and the New Jeru
salem; and although William Shakes
peare seems- quite a distance ahead of
John Stubbs, yet, in the grand proces
sion of eternity, considering the im
mense length of- the journey, the two
are marching abreast. in the'big school
of the universe John Stubbs and Will
iam Shakespeare are fellow chums.
Plato and Pat Rooney dangle their legs
from the same bench."
That's the kind ot stuff William Q.
Smith liked to talk.
And there were lots of excellent men,
who thought themselves good Ameri
cans, but who were laboring under a de
lusion, who despised him for it.
"We all get our food out of the same
dinner pail," said William Q. Smith.
"We all milk Nature's same old cow,
and we have all grown out of the soil
together. Then why should the hack
matack tree look down on the elderberry
bush, and the gladiola flower look down
on tbe ragweed, when they all grow out
of the same black dirt? And why should
a fellow with a diamond crown on his
head despise a chap with a cloth cap;
and the woman who has gas in her
house despise the woman who burns
William Q. Smith wanted to know
these things, and his conundrums both
ered his neighbors, and when he got to
going on in this strain his own wife
used to nudge him to keep still, so peo
ple wouldn't think he was foolish.
"Wo are all on the same little planet
together," the stubborn fellow used to
continue, "rolling through the big stars,
and shall all finally fetch up at the
same depot. Let us all tip our hats to
each other, then, and be friends. We
are all working out our taxes together
on the same turnpike. We all belong
to the same gang."
This was the strange kind of stuff that
William Q. Smith was always promul
gating; and some of his friends thought
it was pretty wild talk, and intimated,
behind his back, that he wasn't much
better than a crank.
_9TS DOG WITH HIM.
And any man >. could come Into Will
iam Q. Smith's house and fetch his dog
with nlra. And W. Q. Smith was glad
to see him; and if the man was hungry
Mr. Smith would give him a glass of
milk, and take one himself, and top off
the banquet with pie and things. The
man didn't have to show him a bank
book as a passport before he could enter
the Smith palace, or even show him a
dollar bill as a card of Introduction,
when a man approached William Q.
Smith's castle, evei) if there Was dust
on his shoes and cobwebs in his whis
kers, Mr. Smith let down his draw
jtir^^e and admitted Mm. ;. ;> ~
Anel William <$. Simtu hever found a
man with a heart so small but he could
walk right into it with his hat on. And
he always walked in and took a chair
and made himself at home.
And Jed Peasley, whose wife could
never break him from using slang, used
to say that Smith was "mashed on the
human race." He was "dead gone" on
everybody, including the tax collector
and his neighbor's little boy who owned
"1 am one of the gang," said William
Q. Smith; and he loved every fellow in
the gang. * . . r
And in this Christmas season of the
year, when every man is popularly
supposed to cherish good will to his
fellow man, every man's wife to cherish
good will to her fellow woman, even if
her fellow woman does wear an old
shawl instead of a sealskin— in this
season of the year, perhaps, the views
of such a good, old crank as William Q.
Smith may g-in a respectful hearing.
But 1 have got to admit that William
Q. Smith's eldest daughter Mary, who
called herself Marie, and who had a real
pretty beau whose name was John, but
who called himself Algernou Frederick
—this daughter Mary didn't have much
of an opinion of her father, whom
Algernon called "the old man." She
said that her father had no style about
him, and that during their European
trip, when he was presented to Queen
Victoria, he was uo more polite than
when he was introduced to Margie
O'Flaherty, the washerwoman of Dog
She told Algernon, after they were
engaged and could afford to be confi
dential, that her father was real com
mon, and horrid vulgar, and would bow
just as low to a man with a hod on his
shoulder as he would to a man with a
crown ou his head.
"Outrageous!" exclaimed Algernon
from over his collar.
But, nevertheless, Algernon and
Mary were married, and the vulgar
William Q. Smith supported them ever
But William Q. Smith never got over
this horrid vulgarity, and would never
sign his name William Quintilian
Smythe, although Mary— er— Marie re
peatedly Importuned him with tears in
her eyes to do so. He persisted in say
ing that one man was just as good as
another, as long as he kept outside the
peniteiuiary; and he stubbornly as
serted that old Tom Jefferson was right
when he asserted that all men were free
Curious old fellow, this William Q.
Yes, he was a very eccentric man; au
odd stick; but right here we runup
against a big interrogation point.
Wasn't perfect equality, once, a long
time ago, when the old-fashioned Tom
Jefferson aforesaid was working at his
trade of statesmanship— perfect
equality considered good American doc
trine? And on this Sabbath day before
Christmas is any one bold enough to get
up in meeting and announce that he
thinks human brotherhood is a humbug
and played out? It there is any such
brother^ even in the back seat, let him
arise aud cast the first stone at William
Then William Q. Smith stands ap
proved. And 1 think he is a good char
acter for us to contemplate on this day
before Christmas, in this season when
it Is well for every man to be "mashed
on the human race," and to love his
fellow man in reality as well as rhetori
It you Imitate William Q. Smith to
morrow—and remember that he and
you are all members of the same gang—
you will have a happy Christmas; and
you will continue happy as long as you
continue to imitate him.
Ho is a man worth knowing; and I
am glad l have introduced him j to you,
for he has giyeu me an opportunity of
preaching you a sermon while you
thought, all the time, I was telling you
For distances within 200 miles "The
North-Western Line"— C, St. P. M. &
O. Ky.— will sell excursion tickets at
one aud one-third fare on Dec. 23, 24, 25,
30, 31, 1593, and Jan. 1, 1894, good to re
turn until Jan. 3, 1894. City" ticket of
fices, 13 Nicollet House Block, Minne
apolis; 159 East Third street, St. Paul.
DOCTOR AND COOK.
They Must Work Together In Har
~ mony for the Patient's Recov
Medical and Surgical Reporter.
In sooth, the physician Is expected to
know all of some things and some of all
things. The physician knows it is not
sufficient to give the very vaguest In
structions as to what a patient may or
may not eat, aud trust to the ordinary
kitchen mechanic to produce the desired
results. He must, If necessary, be able
to give for the preparation of food di
rections as specific as he gives the
pharmacist for the preparation of med
This does not necessarily mean that
every physician must qualify as" a chef.
It will be sufficient for practical pur
poses if every physician will study the
food stuffs in common use lo the locality
in which his work lies, and learn so that
he can teach the modes of preparatiops
by which the nutritive values of the
various food stuffs may be developed.
The physician in the kitchen is no
longer a Joke.
THE MOST ATTRACTIVE
You can present to a lover
of poetry, wit and humor is
By Sam Walter Foss.
Handsomely bound in fine
cloth. Sent postpaid on re
ceipt of $1.50 by
P.0.80x 2392, Boston, Mass.
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THE "HOriE QUEEN"
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Is handsomely bound in White Leather, with Embossed Cover,
and contains 608 pages. The Book is only sold by subscript
tion, the retail price being- $2.50 per copy.
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west, and makes the following
Any person who will send Two Dollars in payment of one j
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IT IS A TREATISE ON
COOKERY, DOMESTIC ECONOMY,
Table Etiquette, Hygiene of the Home, Etc. ,
INDORSED BY /
LADY MANAGERS OF THE WORLD'S FAIR!)
More than 130 of them have contributed directly to the Recipe do
partment, these contributions having: been secured for this book from
every State and Territory in the Union, Alaska not excepted.
More Than 200 Contributors.
Many of tbe wives of Governors of the different States, and mor
than sixty other ladies of position and influence have also sent in their
contributions of choice and well-tried recipes. Coming as these bave
from every part of tbe country, from Alaska to Florida and from Maine
to California, they represent every style aud phase of cookery of every
locality and section of America. We claim without fear of contradiction
that we present in the "Home Queen" the grandest aggregation and .
variety of tried recipes introduced into any cook book extant.
The autograph signatures of the contributors, with their address
and official position, will, in nearly every instance, be found attached to .
the recipes, which not only attest their genuineness, but add immensely !
to the taking features of the book. These signatures have been pro- '
cured, engraved and introduced into the book at considerable labor and
Fine half-tone portraits of nearly one hundred of the Lady Managers i
of the World's Fair, together with portraits of the wives of the Governors 1
and others occupying leading positions, have been secured, and will add
no little to the interest and intrinsic value of the "Home Queen."
MISS JULIET CORSON,
the founder of the Cooking Schools of America, and who has been ap
pointed by the advice of Mrs. Potter Palmer, to take charge of the Cook
ing School and Department of Cookery in the New York Exhibit at the
World's Fair, has also consented to contribute to our Recipe depart
ment, and her portrait wili also appear in this book. Miss Corson was
formerly connected with the Minnesota State University.
Two Thousand Choice Recipes
Will be^found grouped under the following headings:
Bread; Ice Creams and Ices.
Biscuits. Rolls and Muffins. Jellies ™* J*™
iWaJeSd tS ffleS * Et °- Kb for Meats.
Grains and Mushes. Pastry aud Pies.
Gjajp ana Musnes. Puddings and Sauces.
Calce. _ ■'.'■■:■='.-■." Preserves. ,
Layer Cake. Pickles.
Cookies and Jumbles. Sweet Pickles.
Gingerbreads. Poultry and Gams.
Crullers and Doughnuts. " Salads.
Frosting and Icing. . ' Shell-Fish.
Miscellaneous. Vegetables. -
Creams and Custards. «»_**_______.»■_« *
Confectionery. Medical Department.
Canning Fruit and Vegetables. The Toilet.
Drinks. The Laundry.
Eggs. To Cleanse Clothing.
Fruits. To Keep Fruit and Vegetables.
Aside from the Recipes the following topics are carefully
Food and Health. | How to Carve.
Foods in General. How to Select Meats.'
Talkie Etiquette. Hints to House-Keepers.
The Morning Meal. Diseased and Adulterated Food.
The Mid-Day Meal. Warming and Ventilation.
The Evening Meal. ' Drainage and Sewerage.
Party Suppers. Poisoning, Drowning and Accident.
Table Napkins— How to Fold Them. Disinfectants.