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la the galaxy of grocery-stove liar,
"Met" Davit easily occupied the soap
box throne. He wae a sort of living
refutation of the claim that truth la
mighty and will prevail. In fact. He
' eektah Davla waa most marvelous
nd consclentloua prevaricator. None
believed him capable of telling the
truth, bence no one expected him to
peak aught but falsehood except on
one occasion, and even then repent
ance followed quickly.
60 gracefully, tenaciously and pious
ly did "Hex" Davis lie, that away back
la the nebulous state of Time, he had
been dubbed "Lying Deacon Davla."
The "Deacon' portion of the appella
tion was applied because of bis strict
attendance upon church services; and
the wonderful religious lies associated
T-itb bis ecclesiastical wool gatherings
of a night, when Morpheus and Ho
phisto were playing him tricks and
fashioning for hla Imaginings strange
Tisions, were little short of miracles
as related to news-famished commu
nity next morning.
Then, too, "Hex" occasionally acted
as grave digger for the village dead;
this, and lying, being about as much
a one able-bodied man in a quiet
rural community could be expected to
attend to well.
But, after a time, as "Hex's" lying
became more chronic, and bis grave
digging less pronounced, the "Deacon"
Joint In the cognomen of his name was
dropped, and be approached the sun
set of life with the short and undesir
able significance of "Lying Davis."
As such was he known on a bluster
ing, winter night two days before
Christmas, 1902, as he shambled Into
the "Corner Grocery" and took his ac
customed place among the members of
the town "Strategy Board."
The accustomed grin of quasiex
pectancy, tinged with a curl of dis
dain In which pity end jealousy were
ctrangely mingled, greeted his. entry
Into the liars circle about the cavern
ous stove that glowed and flushed, as
tf fretting and blushing for the out
rageous falsehoods that nightly held
their rampant sway about its metal
As he adjusted bis coat tails care
fully behind the sosp box on which be
sat, "Hex" surveyed the group crit
ically. "Got spade I kin borrer to-morrow
mornln'. Bill," addressing Compton,
the grocer. "I broke th' handle of
mine yistaday pry In' up a hoss-racHsh
"Goln Inter' gardenln'?" Inquired
Alt Flxktn. slyly nudging Hank 80m
ers alongside him on a sugar barrel.
"Caln't be ye've had no revelations
0' late. Hex.' Are ye goin' t' turn
farmer fer a llvln' and give up lyln'?"
Interjected Roger Craig, taking a 11b-
-A Mighty fin man
ral btte off a slice of black plug and
uiacklug his lips.
A siUHreed titter rippled about
the grocery stove at the prods admin
fistered In au eviileut effort to awaken
ithe fiequi-ntly dormaut sense of lying
itlmt, half coaiatuse, hud its home
iwithln the grayiug head of "Lying Da
Tlf." But "Hex," refusing to accept the
challeege, merely shook bis bead sadly-
This ain't no time to be tellln' lies,
I Ur the town liar cast Ma tjM
meokiy toward the soft-pine floor and
"Taint no time t' laugh an' be gay
with one o' our beet country residents
dead o' heart disease!"
He paused in solemn mien, hit head
low, his hands clasped between his
Wary glances were exchanged be
tween the strategists. None cared to
make the sally.
"Diet! an hour ago. Snuffed out like
the candle in a draught. Fell dead
upon the milk-house floor," resumed
"Hex" sadly, softly, much affected.
"Who's dead?" blurted Andrew
Shrader, aiming for a knot-bole in the
floor with a kernel of corn and miss
ing it "Who's deadr
"Lying Davis" took a long, deep
breath, and looking up suddenly, de
manded: "What's th' matter with you fellers?
Don't ye know that Hiram Squires Is
no more? It aint no subject fer jokln'
er strlngln'; ye know he's dead as well
as I do and a mighty sad Christmas
it'll be fer his poor wife and children,
left with a big farm on their hands
and none on 'em able t' take keer of
"You don't mean to say that Hiram
Squires is dead. 'Htz'?" Interrupted
Horace Grant, editor of the Weekly
Clarion, who had entered at this Junc
ture to get the copy for a Christmas
advertisement of the "Corner Gro
cery." "Died lesi'n an hour ago," replted
the indomitable Davis, illy concealing
the gratification he felt at being inter
viewed by the intellectual bead of the
leading village paper.
"Wan't feelin' well fer a day or two,
although I do believe be was in town
yistaday wan't he Compton?" turning
questioningly toward the grocer who
was busily engaged in tying up a 60
cent package of light brown sugar for
"Hiram Squires? Yes. he was In
early yesterday morning. Came to
town with a load of hugs. Stopped
here on his way back ' m the depot
to buy a calico dress for .andy. Must
a bin mighty sudden."
"So I heerd." acquiesced "Lying Da
vis," surreptitiously reaching for a sli
ver from the tali of a cod-fish that pro
truded from a near-by box. "He want
feelin' overly scrumptious though fer
a week. I heerd his darter say so as
I cum by there Jest now from suearin'
up In Dry Run. Been complainln' of
a pain In his appendix and had a cold
sweat an' a bad dream t'other night
that wan't particklarly gratify in' fer
a roan o' his calibre. T'day he was
standln' by the milk-house churn,
atocpln' over like, flxln' the crank er
something and all to onct be uttered
a faint groan and fell right where he
ws Hiram Squires.
stuod! niched forraro in a neap and
never knowed a thing! Uanped once
arter bis wife got there and that was
all! A mighty flue man was Hiram
Squires. Give money and vegetables
f th' poor and always allowed that all
bis stotk -juIJ eat wsu't waiitud!
"lk)ys." here Hex cleared his dry
and rattly throat with an effort "Boya,
It'll be our turn next!"
Deep silence greeted the forecast
"YVbat'd you aay about that there
spade, Horace T" resumed "Hex." "Kli
I borrer It long enough t dig a grave
(er Hiram In tV uoroln'f funeral'
day after tcrmorrer from the house
Armed with the pni! "Lying Da
vl" shuffled out of the grocery, fol
lowed by the editor bent upon learn
Inn niori of the details for his paper,
already being "made up" by the fore
man that n early start might be se
cured fur press day.
The Weekly Clarion was In the post
office by 10 next morning, and sincere
was the mourning for Hiram Sqlures.
The merchants, jMissensed of that hu
niim sympathy always uppermost In a
rural community, laid aside their busi
ness prejudices and decided to attend
the funeral In a body. Despite the
fact that the evening of the day of the
funeral was Chrlvtmas Kve and many
trinkets for the Christmas trees In the
churches and homes were alll unpur
chased, they set out dutifully toward
the home of the deceased, six miles
west on the Tike road. There were
something more than a doxen vehicles
x .r-i.-'.-v. 4- - -t f
"Gel durn yer blankety blank picture!"
in all and the procession was a solemn
As they rode along through the
crunching snow, facing a biting De
cember wind, they spoke softly of the
virtues of Hiram Squires. Kven bis
one grosa fault, an habitual use of
qualifying adjectives, frequently sig
nificant of blasphemy, was forgotten.
He was a good man and God rest him!
This was the sentiment of brotherly
expression voiced 1 those who bad
known him bettt.
Nearer and nearer they drew to the
snug farm residence where grief, like
Niobe, all tears, was domiciled, and
where the Black Camel of Deata knelt
at the gate in mute distress!
Meanwhile Boreas and Jack Frost
were ripping and biting at the noses
and the toes of the mourners as they
Chrlstmaa In Mexico.
That Mexico Is strictly a fiesta
loving nation 1 attested by the fact
that she ba more feast days than cal
endar days, says a writer In the led
ger Monthly. A celebration that con
sumes two weeks of these feast days
la the observance of ChrUtmastide
semi religious celebration that begin
upon December 17th.
The bustle and confusion down In
tbe I laias and out In the numerous
booths and stall that have sprung
up, seemingly by inaRte, are almost
deafening with the voices of persons
engaged In Chrlstmaa shopping.
Aud not only the cities, but Insig
nificant "pueblos" whose inhabitant
are too poor to ble themselves to larg
er places make grand preparation for
the throng that are sure to Cll their
streets Just before Chrlstmastlde. And
what a heterogeneous humanity
swarms at the various booths, like so
many bees around a hive!
Spent Christmas With John Do.
A story written by Dlcken while
he wa editor of All the Year Hound
1 comparatively unknown. It 1 call
ed "Christina In the Company of
John Doe." Ha says:
"It was CbrlKtma eve. and I my
name lsl'rupper wts tsking my walk
abroad. I walked through the crowd
ed Strand, elate, hilarious, benignant,
for the fet was prepared and the
guests were bidden. Sik h a turkey
I ha ordered! Not the prize one
with tbe ribbons I mistrusted that
but a phimp, tender, white breasted
bird a king of turkeys. It wa to be
broiled with oyster auce, and the
rest of the dinner ws to consist of
that noble sirloin of roast beef and
that Immortal cod' bead and shoul
der! I bad bought the material for
the pudding, too, tome bait hour pre-
urged the horse on over the last mm
of the windswept way. Slowly thrj
turned In at the sklo road Hint l"d tt
the farm home. Killtor Grant and fnm
lly In the load. One by one they reined
their horse Into the farmyard and
The editor was preparing to leap tn
the ground and Grocer Compton had
thrown the robe ter the dash-board
to liberate his legs, when there aross
from behind the barn a series of blar
"HI there! Gol durn yer blankety
blank picture, git Inside that pen, will
ye? Wboop! Here, you gol darn Ig
noramus, what t!T great horn spoons
be ve a doln the'et Spot! Here,
Spot, ale 'em! Take 'em! Hi! III!
Sooey!" Suddenly there burst Into
view from around the barn a contrary
hog, dashing at full speed - for the
open, followed by a Scotch collie dog
and yes It wasl It was Hiram
His fxre was red with exertion and
rage, one ml'.ten was gone and be
breathed hard as ho swung Into full
pursuit behind the barking dog!
Then, his ee cauKht tbe group of
open-mouthed spectators, the sleighs
and the steaming horses!
"Wal, by hlck'ry," he shouted, catch
ing at his breath, "what be all yon
fellers doln here?"
There was a deep and eloquent al
ienee for a brief Interim, during which
Editor Horace Grant looked sbeeplnhly
Into the eyes of Grocer Compton.
Grocer Compton shifted his gaze to
ward the pure, white snow and kept
"I reckon we'd best go bark t' town
and ask 'Lying Davis,' " said Henry
Somers. clambering into bis vehicle.
vlously; the plum and the currants,
the citron and the allspice, the flour
nd tbe egg. I was happy."
But Just then a minion of the law
laid his hand on 1 'nippers shoulder
and bustled hlui off to the jail be
cause be bad. In the excitement of
getting hi Christmas niaterla!s to
gether, forgot t-n to obey a summons
to attend at court. Thus he spent hi
Chrliilmss In tbe company of John
8anta Clau a Modern Invention,
Of all CbrUlma cuatom the best
known U a !) the luott recent. Sauta
Clau I a modern improvement St
Nicholas, It la not to be denied, 1 a
fairly boary figure, and be has long
been known as the patron saint of
children. Just why Is not clear. Prac
tically nothing U known of the good
taint except that be died arrbblxhop
of Myra in tho fourth century. There
are one or two l-xend connecting
him with a love aud compassion foi
young people, but there are also leg
end which cause blm to be associ
ated with tailors. He i also claimed
t a patron by brigauds on account
of a& adventure which be la said to
have bad with a band of freebooter.
Lastly, be U claimed by tbe profes
sion of pawnbroker, and It i a fact
that he I usually represented la me
dieval art with three golden bail In
one outatretcbed band. A century 01
two ago there waa a custom In Car
many for all the parent In a town 01
village to send the presents they de
signed for their children to on choa
ea Individual, who railed at each
bouse clad In a motley robe, a mask
and a huge flaxen wig. Knocking on
the door be called In a loud voice foi
ail the gotxt children to appear and re
celt e the gifu.
A Blow at the Pipette.
In making tests for butter fst the
pipette has been generally used for
the purpose of tm-astirlng the sul
phuric acid and the milk that was to
bo tested. Rome time ago the legis
lature of Iowa tried to pass a law that
would prevent cheating In making tbe
test. At that time It was brought out
that many of the pipette In use were
very far from the correct alze. At
any rate the law at passed prohibited
the further use of the pipette In the
measuring of milk for tests. The
creameries that were buying cream
from the farmers kept on using the
pipette, believing that the law re
ferred only to milk and not to cream.
But the attorney-general of the state
thicks otherwise and has given the
dairy and food commissioner an of
ficial opinion to the effect that it Is
even unlawful to use the pipette in
tbe measuring of cream. The com
missioner has therefore sent out no
tice to all the creameries of the state
warning tbem agalt;n the further use
of the pipette. The penalty for Its
use Is a fine of $3iX or confinement
In the county Jail for six months. The
law provides that for the purpose of
making tets all milk or cream must
be welshed in scales or balancea.
For a Hard Milker.
An experienced dairyman recom
mends the following for a cow that Is
touph to milk:
".Make a plug of slippery elm, two
Inches long and the thickness of a
match at the thinnest end. Let the
other end have a head on it similar to
that on a horseshoe nail. Tie a piece
of silk thread around the head. Blip
the plug on the teat which milks hard
and let it stay until next mllkitir.
That teat will give a full, easy stream. (
but if at any future time it Rhould
milk bard then give It another appli
cation. The elm plug swells In tbe
teat. The large head at one end Is to
binder further entrance int the teat,
as tt mlgl;t by accident get out of
i?ht. in which case the silk thread
will be handy 10 take hold of for with
drawal of plug."
Profitable Cows Only.
Hundreds of cows kept for dairy
purposes do not yield sufficient to pay
for the fed they consume. Tbey con
sume as much feed a do the profit
able ones and require as much time
and care In milking. There wa a
time when a dairy cow was not ex
perted to Klve milk for more than six
months In the year, but with the pres
ent high prices for labor and f'd this
condition of affair can no longer prof
itably exist The lactation period
ahould be at leant nine month in
length. The amount of milk a cow
thould produce to be profitable I vari
ously given at from 6.O00 to 6.0(H)
pounds annually, or sufficient to yield
from 100 to S40 pounds of butter fst.
This would vary of course with the
locality, price of lalx.r, feed, etc.
Skim Milk In Chicken Fattening.
It Is rather difficult to place an
exact monetary value on skim milk for
fattening chickens, but there can be
no doubt that It can be so used with
advantage, both as to gains In
weight and In producing a wblte. juicy
tnd tender meat. Two jears sko ex
periments conducted at the Experi
mental Farm. Ottawa, demonstrated
beyond any question the high feeding
value of this by-product, both In the
crate and In the pen. By its use. gains
were more rapidly made, the cost per
pound of Increase reduced, and the
character of the drosned fowl Improv
ed, t'sed Judiciously wUh meal (s
finely ground cats) and. y, one tenth
of tbe ration of meat meal, should be
well worth thirty cents per hundred
weight One Acre Per Cow.
There are men who ran carry a cow
to the aere. but they do It with the
silo and soiling crops. It takes others
four or 0o per cow, yet the cow do
not est any more than oilier do off
the acre lot. Thl means that some
men know bow to ralnu crops and
others do Dot.
The lattrr rlsiu have one ci.ntlnusl
complaint, morn I UK. rionn and nlKbt,
that dairying does not pay. They
have poor bulb! Inge, poor cows, and
no system of farming the land. They
do not umlcrttard tln-lr buln-0 and
consequently are deprived of the com
forts and blessings whlru hail on
those who have a better understand
ing. Dairy Farming.
Do We Believe It?
It t an old saying that the bull Is
-half the herd." Io we really believe
it? lienty of men, according to I'rof.
Freaes of Illinois, will pay fou or
$W0 for a good registered row, jet
the owner will pot pay more than
t-i0 for a aire to head the same herd.
Doe not that fact show that but few
men value the sire as highly as they
do the dstn? Yet tbe ha but one calf
a year, while he I the sire of many.
It often takes a statement like thl to
how us what we really do believe.
The most famous and auccecsful
breeders have always paid their high
est money for sire, rather than dams,
with all breed of domestic animals.
Money In Happy Cows,
Plenty to eat, freuh water aplenty,
ind kind rare make the cow happy;
and It la th happy cow that 011 the
Hitlk pall and the pocketbook.
1 ",-." J
. V " st jr-T.
"ft will soon be possible," said the
chief of police, "for people to go any
where In the city without fear of
crime or violence."
"Do you speak with knowledge?"
asked the fresh reporter.
"Sure I do." replied the chief. "Th.
people are etorlng their automobile
for the winter." Cleveland Leader.
An Awful Mistake.
Wife "My dressmaker it getting
altogether too old-fashioned to suit
Husband "Why. my dear, your new
gown Is strictly up-to-date."
Wife "Yes. I know; but she actual
ly sent it home the day she promised
Opposed to Intervention.
"I was watching the bulletins, when
my attention was attracted to two
youngsters who were squared off at
each other In Queensbury style. While
I watched they rolled into the gutter,
scratching like cats.
"I separated the belligerents. Then
they turned on me. 'Hey. mlMcr. what
yer doln'?' yelled one. 'Can't two
friends fight without somebody buttln'
In?' I permitted the fight to go on."
Hostess My dear count, you must
psrdon me. but I have such a very
poor memory of names. It's a real
affliction. I have forgotten yours.
The count You should gonult a
specialist on mcndal dieaes, my tear
n ailsm. you really (.hotilt. My came
Is KsKkawowskiscbniaingloski. New
Heard at Newport
Chojly "Perry Pink I getting more
and more effeminate every dsy."
Hal "Can It be poeslble? IVwa he
still slsp you on the wrlit?"
Cholly "No, he trie to tlck yoe
with a hat pin."
New Verk Sufficient Unte Itself.
Hoffman Howes Bah Jove, thai
tiottn iawst week was a serious thing
for Noo Yawk.
Madison Square In what way?
Hoffn.sn Howes Why. don't yon
remembah? It was imixllle for
Noo Yawk to get news of the outnld
world, don't ye-know.
Madison Square Hut. my dcah fel
lah, why should Noo Yawk wUh te
get news of the ouUlde world? liuie
Could Sne Wletd the Red?
Bay Are you de new tchooltescber,
ltoy Nuttln', only I wanted to see
If you wa all phynlctl culiure or bad
a good dremtniHker.
Strictly Bi smese.
They bad accidentally met in a city
far from home. ,
"Are you here on a pleasure trip?"
asked the scanty haired man,
"No." replied llm man with the
Willie gout whiskers, "my wife la with
What th Answer?
Jok ly-Here's a conundrum tor
Cokety Its have It
Jokely If "time I money" what It
aa tighlday clink worth.
An Caty On Also.
"He Is iroply rolling In wealth."
"He finds it a rather i iant rot,
I presume. "