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Tlio Lincoln Count; Herald
tfUtlMSIICU II VI! Ill' IHUHSDY
LINCOLN COUNTY HERALD.
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ech addttroaal stray la same nolle 1 Otf
.OOAYEAlt IN ADf
TROY, MO., THURSDAY, JULY 1J, 187!
ttr A Liberal Deduction will be made to
imi.f. criiiH 1'ivi: ci:nts.
Sr. Iioi'19, July 5, 18JI.
aTarBsB tlisuKRI Tbe onolosefl fcrses Wer
written by l4 (aow dead) who at one time
tfcitdad In TMf . 1 items t me the loatlmant
fcs too, ao4 indicates a "pietlo gonial" on the
(part H the author. If you deem It worthy n
(1a In your pap you may Iniort It. I bavo
lometlmn tau;ht that the very bent sentiments
WafindciprosSed In vorsoar from "walfj"
fclNUS y.TTi:N IN A YOUNG LA
The dream of youth li o'er the now,
-And lunny beami aro'on Ihy brow
'The future all looki bright and fair,
And tocotl f Mill ar fainted there.
Oh, that thy dream might teal jirovt,
Thy daya b crowned with joy and love,
Thy tin to com gild smoothly on
Xs foaceful ai It flnt begun.
"Hut should bright proipeeti die away,
And one by one thy hopes decay,
tlemraaber yat'thers't bliss in store
Jojr that will laat for ereituor.
Ttom Ooi, the tvurc of Hfe and light,
flow itreamiof InBnllo delight,
And all who trutt In him may find
Balm for the sorrowt of the mind.
With patience, then, llfe't trials bear
Till Uod shall wipe off overy tear,
And thou arise In heavenly light
To shin In robes Ulvinoly bright.
A DAY AS A HACKMAN.
Heigh ho, McGreer! What in the
world are yoa swearing at eo furi
ously f" I usked, eutenug the livery
table of the above named person amid a
volley of oaths that might have shocked
lilt Satanic majesty.
"Uh I good morning, replied the man;
"excuse me, Mr. Morris. 1 was talking
tuthcr too strong, perhaps ; but the fact
is, I am in a desperate strait I You see,
Mr. Klmore's horses aro both siek, and
he wants 1110 to let him have my best
span and coach immediately. Well, the
dapples are the host, and to my ojo, bet
ter than his own ; but there is not a man
belonging to my stables dare drive them
but Cary, and be is down with the fever.
Tha other horses are all out or engaged,
and I don't know what the "
hero, there," said , "no oaths. I
have nothing on bund, and really believo
i should liko to play huckmau for a day
in Now York."
"Surely, Mr. Morris, you nre joking,"
ejaculated the man in amazement.
"No ; I am in earnest," for tho idea
wis so novel, that I, a Ijver of' adventure,
beoame every moment more determined
to try it.
"1 am in earnest, Mr. MeGroor, say no
more about it. You know I can inanai-c
anything. Just have them hitched up,
and give mo tho livery coat aud hat.
Now leave mo in tho uffico for a moment
but stop I don't let the men know who
I am ; and by the way 1 almost forgot
it bavo our team sent round in about an
Left alone, I proceeded to alter my
appearance as much as possible, assum
ing the habiliments of a driver. 1 made
a firet-rato Irishman of the higher grade.
The metamorphosis was hardly com
pleted when Mr. McGreer entored.
"Mr. Mor "
"Miohael, yo mane," I interrupted ;
"ahure tbero's no reason why i Bhould bo
cheated out of a name." Wo both
laughed, and I received congratulations
upon making a good son of Erin.
Stepping out of the offico I mounted
the box, gathered up the reins and was
off. The horses were unusually gay, but
I had tbem in good trim by the time I
topped before Mr. Klmore's residence.
It may be well to state that Grace El
more was not the least inducement for
assuming my present position. All
winter she had been a dream -idol of
mine, or rather a half one, for I really
could not tell wliioh I preferred, Grace
or Maud de Morris, a young French lady,
who wat spending the winter' in New
York with her'parents. Both wore be
witching, and I embraced every opportu
nity of' being with either.
Springing from the box I .rang tho
'bell, and presently assisted Miss Elmore
and ber two friends into the- earriage.
,,'he day was warm for March, and tho
four windows wero open, Graco sitting
on the seat nearest me.
"Round tho pleasant streets, driver.
Anywhere for a ride," she said.
v We started, and for a quarter of an
T)ton.r-;!tte lidies'j chit ehst was ofjjno
Account tb me, when suddenly Mies
Fannie exclaimed :
I '"By the? way; Grace,- rumorftays' you
, aro engagedj to George Morns, and "the
solitaire on your fore-finger appears lo
onfirnt it." '
' MRomor honor me,l' was the reply.
"Now, Grace," chimed in tho third
lady, Vstop your nonsense, and tell, us
teaadidly, aro you engaged ?'' , '
"Well, I'm arraigned befo'ro a oourt
for ome terrible crime, and oommanded
to answer guilty or, not guilty?, is that
was tbe half laughing, half annoyed
"No," replied the third lady, "only to
gratify friendly curiosity."
" "Well, tho truth if, I am not at liberty
to say all I wish ; but this much I will
oknowledge the ring you mentioned
T did once; belong to George Morris."'
Waa there ever such an abominable
falsehood told, every word of which is ud.
trnef ,J thought angrily, as ( beard the
eeasmeaU upon tnf. money, parson, pa
tents, eto. Zhat girt bad lei them to
suppose that we were engaged, and thero
Is STig ,te prove it -a ring sho took
Tom(me in sport a few evenings sinco,
4 wbrchl ( intended o fecotct odoti
If M4 meting. taW m
thing certain1, Grace Elmore will never
be my wife, t could not (rust such a
schemer. My resolution was strength
ened whetj l.heafd 6cf aayin confidential
undertones, to the one lady, Mis Fannie
having been left at her Own houso :
"I have, of course, no feelings in the
matter, only a school girl's lovo; but, I
think that George would mako a most
desirablo husband, while his wealth, with
my own, will plnco us above any change
of fortune. Then he's very handsome,
and I have dooided to take him. I don't
know that I oould do much better."
"Pity I have not arrived at a similar
conclusion," was my menial sarcasm.
Just thel she eallcfl 'affectionately,
Willingly did I place tor on the oar
riago steps and then turn toward tbe
"By Jove I wish I could havo as good
a chanco to Maud dc Morris." I ejacu
lated, as I drove up to my station. Mc
Greer was waiting for me. There was a
grsy-haired gentleman waiting with
him, but McGreer stepped aside and
asked me if I objected to going further,
at tho same timo overpowering mo with
thanks, and saying if tho horses were
cooled down ho could givs them to some
"No, no," I replied quickly, fcr I was
desirous of learning more of humanity,
"I will keep my place Tor tho present ;
send me where you choose." Turning
to the gontloman, McGreer bowed and
said, Mr. La'ncey, this carriago is at your
In Mr. Lancey I recognized a worthy
merohant, though not well known in tho
higher circles, his means placing him
only with those who were 111 very good
"Where?" I asked, as he entered tho
"To street, north side."
A quiet easy little placo it proved to
be a three story brick, new imd hand
Borne, though lacking elegance. Here
tho gentleman alighted, roiurning in a
short time, accompanied by a young girl,
of, I should judgj, somo nineteen years,
whom bo addressed as Maggie. Her
rich brown hair was curled ncuily at the
back of her head, and the solt, violet
looking hazel eyes wero tho roost enchant
ing that ever mot my gaze. Peering
ftotn under my hat, I noted every article
of dress of tbe neatly robed little fairy.
"Drive to tho l'ark," w.-rs the gentleman's
direction, as 1 again took tho reins.
I listened eagerly for every sound
within, folding half ashamed of tho part
I was placing, though too deeply inter
ested in the lady to desist.
Presently a clear and sweet voico
"Well, father dear, what have you to
say that you rcquiro euch strict prt
"My child, I I fear you aro not brave
enough to hear it I Oh 1 nicrcilul
Heaven, if I could only spare my dar
An eager, loving voice replied :
"Father I father I surely one so youug
and strong, with such deep lovo for you,
can bear a great deal ; and borrow will
nut be so heavy when shared with me
Now that mother has no power to com
fort you except through metrory, let mo
tako her precious place as best 1 can.
Tell me all, father; I am stronger than
Then followed a long explanation,
which may bo summed up in a very lew
words. Their voices were often drowned
in the euler bustle, but I beard sufficient
to 'understand that Mr. Lancey, who was
doing a very heavy business, had, several
month previous, taken a partner, who
proved to be an inveterate, speculator,
and without tho Icnowledgo ot Mr. Lan
ccy, had involved the' firm to the amount
of several thousand dollars.! The invest
ment would be worth nothing in less
than a year ; meanwhile debts previously
accrued fell duo and wero pressed 'by
creditors. Mr. Lanccy ended by soyiDg :
"Unless I get somo assistance between
this and Monday night, Tuesday night
will find us penniless. Oh, my child I
if 1 could but save you I How can you
tear such a change ?"
I heard tho heavy sobs of that strong
man come thick and fast. There were a
fewr drops in my own eyes, for I could
hot!see the horics'forVuiomqh I1 fan
cied loving arms' around his neek,and a
pale, soft cheek against his own, as the
words I had to lean down to' catch came
in a clear, brave voice from the noblest
heart that beat 'neath Heaven :
"Father, do not think of me : all that
I have is yours, and many private articles
will bring considerable. 1)0 not shrink
from selling everything to pay an honest
debt. ,1 can, bear, all things eo.that love
is loft..' Surely, I eannot complain if it
all be taken, if Heaven loaves me my
father. Do your best, and trust me for
all tbe (assistance in my power. I can
bear all things so that love is left."
Much followed, but this was all I
cared to hear, and by the time wo drove
up before the neat house in - street, I
fairly worshipped tbe brown-htircd angel
who resided there.
For tbe last' fifteen minutes I bad been
contriving a plan to assist them. In my
pocket, was a'cbeok for three hundred
dollars, drawn .'thai morning for the pur
pose of settling a small oocount.
My name was on it in full and as I
opened the carriage door I cast It to the
wind, which took it to the pavement.
A't first neither noticed it, arfd I feared
that I had been foiled, but just as I was
mounting the box, Msggie picked it up,
and ' tumid hurriedly to ber father. I
drove off wondering how it would end.
Reaching tho stables, I (brew the reins
to tho hostle, and entering the office told
M(Js.is4ftwatfaalAl.e driven by a
baby ; disposed of my masquerade, and
weut home, nat lo tjream ot Uraco ami
Maud, as usual, but of the noble woman
who "coulJ bear alt things sv that love
"The next morning I, saw in the Herald I
n notice which read as follows :
"If Mr. Gcorgo T. Morris will calt at
No. 4 North street, ho wilt recover
It was just woat i wanted, ana 11 bout
ten o'clock I called at the place above
named, received the check from my
queen, together with an explanation of
bow it came into ber possession. 1
asked if net father was at borne. He
Would sho givo no his place of busi
Taking ft card from tbo stand, sho
traced neatly the address, and bowing, I
left her to seek the merchant.
"Mr. Lancey, I am George Morris.
Will you grant mo a privato interview ?"
Seated in tho inner offico, I told him
all the last day's proceedings that con
cerned himself, offering any pojuniary,
assistance bo might permit ma to ronder.
After some uriting on ray part, he no
cepted, and grasping my hand, thanked
mo again lor saving his child, saying
that Heaven would repay me.
And it has, most munificently ; for not
six months passed cro Maggie Lanccy
possessed tbo solitaire which Urnce
Klmoro had worn eo proudly and falsoly.
I have secured tho greatest treasure earth
can produco a woman who can bear all
things so long as lovo is left.
Now two hazel eyes aro pccpini:
over my shoulder, while a happy voice
'Why, George, you foolish old dar
ling, no ono will bo interested in that but
Is my little wire correct I
How Two liumorials Mel.
In Praguo thero was to be another of
those great musical jubilees for which
the capital of Uohemia wa noted during
tho last century, and from every direc
tion journeyed thither artists and laymen,
cither to participate in tho exercises or to
Already on tho day before the etc, the
inns largo and small of the city proper
were overfilled, and the landlords, desir
ous as they were to profit by tbe occasion,
could not do other than to turn away the
Many wore, therefore, compelled to
seek lodgings in tho taverns of the
suburbs, which were usually patronized
by tho people of tho lower orders.
A young man a "pianist," said his
passport Ire 111 Vienna had, like many
others, sought lodging in nil the hotels
of the city without success, and finally
decided to go to an inn in one of the
suburbs, where he was told he would
probably find very comfortablo quarters
and very good fare.
The youih was received by a landlord
of n very surly mtin, who, aftor measur
ing him from head to foot with a forbid
ding glance, replied that be could not
accommodato him, "he was full 1"
Hut thoro was n pretty young serving
girl within hearing, who did not seem at
all afraid of the cross-grained old land
lord, and vonturcd to differ from him.
"Yes, wo ccn accommodato tho gentle
man, too," she said. "There will be no
one in the wine room this evening ;
everybody will be in tho city. It's very
easy to make up a bed for the gentle Lao
"Do so, for all I care," muttered tbe
landlord, and turned away.
The young pianist decided to remain,
as tho girl assured bim that sho would
sco he was msdo comfortablo, and that
tho landlord was really not half so much
of a bear as he Boomed.
She now hsstenod to prepare the even
ing meal, and tbo yonng musician In the
mosntime repaired to the largo room that
was destined to be his bed room for the
night. As the ususl evening guests wero
not oxpentod, the room had not been
lighted ; but the moon shouo through
the vino-bordered windows, so as to ena
ble the youth to see bis way, although
indistinctly. In one corner ho discovered
a sofa, on which he threw himself, in
order to rest his weary limbs while wait
ing supper. Ho hsd been there but a
few, ropments'when tbe door opened and
a man entered, and walked to the farther
and darker end of tho room with a cer
tainty of step thai showed he was not a
stranger to tho apartment.
. A momont aftorwaid the youth heard
the tonos of a piano at first, a few
accords, then a melody, a wild melody,
that might have boen likenod to a chorus
of angels. The youth partially rose
from the sofa, and listened as one who
would catoh the faintest sound, -How
radiant every featuro of bis faee with eo
static delight! This improvisation
this hesvenly improvisation it seemed
to trsnsport him into another pnd a
higher sphero I There was but one
only one who oould produce such har
mony, and to seo him and bear him was
the obief object of the youth's journey.
'He rose, and walked on tiptoe toward
the piano, in order, if possible, to see the
performer. Tbe tones grew softor and
softer, until they finally died away.
1h finale was divinely beautiful, and
held the youthful enthusiast spell-bound
until tbe maetlro himself roused him from
bis reverie. The latter, when ho had fin
ished playing, rose, went toward the sofa,
and threw himself down, apparently
fatigued. As tbo light of the moon fell
on his face, tbe youth slw beforo him an
elderly man of a psculiarly noble and
Seeing htt she tad hoi yet beo ob-
servod, an ides suddenly occurred to him,
ami ho seated kimsolf Moislcsslt st the
Again tho instrument was made to
utter Its sweetest tones, snd tbe man on
tho sofa listened in profound admiration.
He raw no one ; but ho hoard, snd what
ho heard was sufficient to rivet his atten
lion. How pure the tones came from
this master-hand I That it was n master
hand, tho listener on the sofa quickly
The joys of a youthful heart seemed
to find utterance in the first accords of
tho young musician. Then gradually,
tlio tones became deeper; tho passions
and trials of a largo struggling naturo
spoke in tho full and powerful accords,
until tboy becamo tbo cry of bitter
What music it was I The older muci
cian claspad his hands across his breast,
and listened with his wholo soul.
He knew of bntone composer who was
capablo of producing such music, and it
was mainly in the hope of meeting him
that he had come to the fete. He was
ooofidenl'tbe virtuosi) boforo him must be
be, and ho only.
Finally, he arose, and noiselessly Ap
proached tho piano, until he stood be
hind the performer, who was so absorbed
that ho neither saw nor heard him
At last, he, too, ceased playing. He
struok the last accord, and sunk baok
exhausted. At that moment, a hand was
laid gently on his shoulder, while an
other tock him by the arm and led him
towqrd the window, where tbo light of
the moon could fall full upon his face
An elderly man, his eyes beaming with
delight, gnzed at him a momont, and then
cried iu a tone, that betrayed deep emo
'Haydcn I" responded tho young man,
in nn accent not less joyous
Thus mot, for the first time, these two
immortal composers, whoso greatest wish
had long been to know each other.
The Dome op the Capitoi. The
dome of tbe capitol at Washington is the
most ambitious structure in America It
is 108 feet hither than tho Washington
Monument at llaltiuioro, sixty eight feet
higher than that of liunkcr Hill, and
twenty feet higher than tho Trinity
Church tower at New York. It is the
ouly considerable dome of iron in the
world. It is a vast hollow sphero of
iron weighing H.UUU.UUU pounds. How
much is that? Moro than 4,000 tons, or
about tho weight ot 70,000 lull . grown
pooplo, or about equal to 1,000 laden
coal cars holding four tons each, which
would reach two miles and n half.
Directly over your head is a figuro in
bronzo, "America," weighing 14,US5 lbs.
The prcssuro of the iron domo upon its
piers and pillars is 13,477 pounds to the
square foot. St. Peters presses nearly
20,000 pounds moro to the squnro foot,
and St. Genevieve, at Paris, 00,000 lbs.
more. It would requiro, to crush tho
supports of our dome, a prcssuro of 775,'
270 pounds to the square foet. Tho cost
was about 81,100,000. Tbo new wings
cost 30,500,000. The architect has a
plan for rebuilding the old central part
ot tho capitol and enlarging thu part,
which will cost about t;i,-JUU,UUU.
Mr. Jonathan Whipple of Myatio, Conn,
was probably the, first man in this country
to icacn aeai mutes articulation and lip
reading. He was a poor man of limited
education, cultivating a small rocky firm
in summer, and travelling from onu nciih
borhood to nnolher during the winter as
a nog Duicner. lie had a son who is now
forty fivo yeors of ago, who was born
deaf, but grew to be a bright, inteliigont
lad. Tho boy was not totallv deaf, and
his father, who was"posscssed of a most
powerful voice, could make him hear
when be shouted. For several Tears,
tho only way in which Mr. Whipple could
make his son understand anything was by
shouting at the top of bis voice ; but in
time the boy, by watohing bis father in
tently, learned to understand him bv the
motion of the lips as well ss by tbe sound
of his voico. So the father mouthed to
him tbe things he had come to understand
but no one else could talk lo him so as to
make binisolf comprehended. .From this
beginning Mr. Whipple weut on to teach
tbo boy his alphabet, to instruct him in
reading and writing, and finally to artic
ulate, so that now any stranger roicht
meet 'tho son and talk with him for an
hour, provided it was light, without notio
tog any peculiarity about bim. The old
man and bis grandson, a young, man of
twenty, now nave, a Jamily school where
tncy teach uoaiand dumb children to talk
and retd from the lips of others tho mean
ing-of what they utter, while at the same
time they aro instructed in ihe usual
branches of a common sobool education.
In this' school object-teaehing is advan
tageously used in a great variety of ways.
It is a theory of Mr. Whipple that in
stances sre very raro indeed where a deaf
person osnnot bo made to hear' somo
bound; and it is told of him that twenty
years ago ho was at tho. Hartford Asylum,
snd on being assured that tho childorn
there could not hear' any' sound whatever,
put hie forefinger to his mouth, and
fetched a tremendous whistle tbat caused
nearly overy one ofthe pupils to start
with astonishment. N. Y, Sun.
One-half of all who live die before the
age. of 17 ; only one person in a hundred
reaches GO. and only oue in ten thousand
reaches 100. .
The Worthiest neonlo ar mnat nft.n in.
jured by slanders, us tho good aro bated
ny tne wicued, aud ouly the wicked are
A Delecilve'g Sltry.
It was a dull, rainy day. toward tho
end nf August. Oue of those dsys when
csrlh and sky alike aro dreary, and-tho
rain drops pattering against tho window
makes one feel eo sad and lonely. The
clock that bung against tho wall pointed
to tho hour of three, when Mr. Uordon,
our 'chief, a dark, silent little msn, en
tcred tho room.
"Wells," said ho, "don't you feel like
having a little exollcment just now (
Ul course 1 bad to say "Yes.
"I want you to arrest Dill Siddons, tho
forger," said Mr. Gordon, "and ho waa
last heard of at C . You had hotter
start straight off at once."
My interest was aroused when told of
tho largo toward I should obtsin, and I
readily undertook to ferret out the forger.
I ho rosy dawn was just flashing tbe
eastern sky as I alighted wearily from the
train, and walked to tho vtllago hotel.
In answer to my inquiries, I was told
that with the exception of a young lady,
who had come the night before, there
wero no new arrivals.
At dinner time I sat opposite the
young lady in question, and I noticed
that when she bbw me come in she smiled,
and blushed rosy red. Her dark brown
eyes seemed to sparkle and gleam with
fun and mischief; her long black hair,
which sho woro in curls, seemed crested
but to hido her blushes. Hut I, being a
fair specimen of tho sterner sex, attribu
ted nil theso littlo smiles and glances to
my personal appearance, and congratu
lated myself upon having made an impres
sion on such a beautiiul creature.
Next day I prosecuted my search, but
all to no purpose, for nowhere could I
gain intelligence of tho object of my pur
suit. For ono weok 1 soarcbed high and
low, but no Bill Siddons could I find
All this lime I had bcon stopping at C ,
and had fallen deeply in lovo with Clara
Armstrong, for such was my fair charm
or s name, and 1 also battered mysoll
that sho looked favorably on me.
Un tbo night bcioro my departure for
thn city, I was sitting alone with Clara.
"And so, she said, "you leave us to
morrow?" 1 sighed and said
"You will think of rr.o sometimes,
Sheimiled, blushed, and takings pair of
scissors Irom the table, she cut on pno ol
those glossy curls and banded it to mo.
"Keep that," she said, "to romcmbor
Was I foolish to press it to my lips be
foro laying it next to my heart? Clara
smiled and said nothing. Evidently she
did not think me foolish.
The next morning I arrived safely in
tho city, and hurried to tha office of the
"chiof," to report. As I was coming out
of tho office 1 met Qus B. When I told
him my adventure he laughed.
Charloy," said he, "you are taken in
aud done for this time, sure.
I indignantly asked him what ho men t.
I bet you tbe bost supper to be got in
town that I fetch Bill Siddons in three
"Done I" said I, and Gus immediately
wont to obtain leave of absence
Tho "chief" willingly lat him go, and
that night he started. Two days passed,
and on the third day, sure enough, Gus
"Well, what luck?" I askod, as I saw
In in come out of tbe office.
"The best in the world," he replied,
"Come with me; 1 will show you tbe
I followed bim into ono of Iho strong
rooms, and there, sure enough, was the
prisoner loaning against tho window.
He wss standme with his baok to the
door, but on hearing us come in he turned
"By Jupiter 1' said I, "Clara Arm
"Tho same, at your service," said Bill
Siddons, for it was ho. "I am much
obliged to you, Mr. Wells, for vour nolito
ness. Perhaps you would like another
look or my hair."
I stood dumbfounded.
"A littlo too susceptible, Charley, my
boy a littlo too susceptible, thst's all,"
said Gus, and, reeingmy discomfiture, he
burst out laughing.
"Hang it!" I muttered, and rushed
out of tbo room, vowing never to hare
anything more to do with females of any
Cheap out-of-door breakfast. A roll
00 the grass. Punch, t
Difference, between a. fisherman and a
school boy the ono baits his hook, and
tho other hates his book.
A young man' who was caught strain
ing his sweethsrt to his bosom the other
night, justified himself on tho ground
tbat he has a right to strain his own
Wild mocking birds and .canaries are
very abundant at Anaheim, Cal., and so
tamo that they fly ictb pooplo's houses
snd sing melodiously from some perch in
A mau praieing porter, said it was so
excellent a beversge that it always made
him fat. "I have aeon tbo time," said
another, "when it made you lean."
"When, I should like to. know?" said
Iho eulogist, "Why, no longer than list
night against tho wall."
A msn advertised for a wife, and re
quested esoh esndidsle lo pncloso her
carle de visile. A spirited young Isdy
wroto to the advertiser in tho following
terms : "Sir, I do not enoloso my carte,
for though thero is somo authority for
putting a car (.before a horso, I know of
none lor putting oue beloie ass.
Divorces the turn of tho tied.
A wag thinks tho latest Paris fashions
Talcs from real tif"-ChincKJ
Tho best wood for mikinc fdlt:
If a man gets up when the day breaks.
can he be said to bavo the whole dtr
Mory Cary says that if husbands ccn-
orally knew what, their wives thought off
them suicides would be of a bore corn-
It will probably givo rtso to a eliffer
ence of opinion, if wo ask if an individual
who has married a shrew can bo consid
ered a thread man.
It is ssld that in London a child is
born every five minutes. And they think
that is worth bragging about. Why, in
this country we have known two to bo
born in a few minutes.
A Yankee baa invented n new and
ohcap plan for boarding. Ono of his
lodgers mesmerises the rest, and then
oats a hearty meal tho mosnicriscd bo
ing satisfied from resl sympathy.
A young doctor on being asked to con
tribute tqward inclosing and ornamenting
the village cemetery, vory coolly re
marked that if he filled it he thouitht ho
should do his part.
"What is your consolation in life and
death?" asked aSundav School Superin
tendent of a young lady in tho Biblo
class, who blushed and said, "I'd rather
be excused from speaking his namo."
An observing individual in a verv
healthy village, seeing tbo sexton at work
iu a holo in tbe ground, inquired what ho
was about. "Digging a grave, sir."
"Digging a grave I Why, 1 thought peo
plo didn t dio often bero do thoy ? "Oh
no, sir, they never die but once."
A Rhode Island man experienced a
sensation that no other man ever experi
enced and lived. Ho was struck bv
lightning, and had his boots taken off
without injuring bim. He savs he is not
what may be called a particulat man on
general principles, but if it is alt tho
same he would just as soon hereafter havo
his boots removed bv tbo old fashioned
bootjack, if it is not so quick, but be is
never in much hurry any way and ho
says it will do him.
Prior to the settlement of Califomis,
singing-birds, fragrant Bowers, and honey
occs, wero not to do tuund in tho eutiro
country. Now, however, in all parts of
tbo state may be found many varieties of
singing-birds, like the mocking bird,
bobolink, lark, linnet, thrush. Ballimoro
oriole, and the common robin, which al
ways follows civilization. Tbe forests in
all parts of the State sro filled with tho
booey-bee, and honey from Los Angeles
county is an important artiole of com
merce. And as for fragrant fiowors,
California can now beat the world.
A School Girl's Opinion op Doas.
"Dogs is nsofuller than cats. Mice is a
feard of cats thoy bito cm. Dogs follows
boys and catches a hog by tbe ear. Hogs
rarely bite. Sheeps bite people. Peo
ples eat hogs and not the Jews as they and
other animals that doesn't ohew their cud
isnt clean ones. Dogs somotimcs get hit
with boot jacks for barking of night.
Sleepy people gits mad and throws at em.
Dogs is the best animal for man than
ground hogs or koons or gotcs. Gotcs
smell. , The End."
Twenty years ago, a farm eight miles
square in Livingston county, Illlinois,
was entered by its present owner at 81.25
per acre. It is now.subdivided into thirty,
two farms of 1,280 seres each, every farm
being run by separate seta of hands, tho
wholo ueder the direction of tho owner,
M. L. Sullivsnt. There aro'15,000 acres
under the plough ; 250 miles of hedge
fence, besides other fences ; 150 miles of
ditch for draining. One hundred men
and four hundred work horses and mules
arq employed on the farm, besides two
bookkeepers, four blacksmiths, and eight
osrpenters. An accurate aeconnt is1 kept
with each sub farm, and with caoh man,
horse and mulo, tbo, animals being all
named or numbered, and oharged with
tbe amount paid for them and their food,
and croditod wilh their labor. Tho entire
farm, with improvements' and personal
properly on it is now valued at about
tne Bootjack. The introduction of
tbe bootjack marks quite ah era in' tho
history of oivilisation now tbat wo. think
?f ,l!i , Tbflsavago, of course, know noth
ing of it, and ho Jcnows nothing of it now,
excopt when it is hurled at his i astonished
head by an enlightened, though hasty,
Bootjacks osme in shortly after tho
introduction of tight boots. Before, that
tfnie men used to kick off tho'ir boots or
sleep in them. Wo infer 'there aro few
bootjacks in California, from tho fre
quency of the epitaph,. ."Died in his
boots,1' , - , .
Imagino the perplexity and embarrass
ment of the man who had the temerity
to pull on the first pair of tight boots,
when he attempted to pull tbem off again
the bootjack being' not invented. How
bo must hare wriggled and twisted and
tenderest part of his shIn"(bon7 Arntn
catching tho toe' under thVsjltfihf1 ho
works away with Ihe hsel JfttMvilh hit
hand, but all in vain, At - length he
tries tho crotoh of k tree, and the thing
is dono. An ono ajouli intent ) oqos.
jfr aft. few-f-&fitl.
cuseod, ppw, prying t,way wit,h the too
of one boot on th.heel pf , tho other, ihe
heel slipping off and slrikioc him on tha