Newspaper Page Text
Tho Lincoln County Herald
LINCOLN COUNTY HERALD.
TMKM fjy ADVBKTlBlrfSj,
One Square r,101lnee)orleBi,one!nrMl!oB,,,$l to .
Each additional Insertion.
Administrators' Nolle .,, ,e
Final Settlement Notices .......f
Stray Notices (slngleltray) , I Ot
Each additional stray. In same notice......... 1 0,
J&r A Liberal Deduction will be mads t,
PUBLISHED EVERT THURSDAY
IIIEO. dI pIBHER.
6i.oo a yea;ijn advance.
TROY, MO,, THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 1871.
JINGLE COPIES FIVES CENTS.
ATTORNEY AT I-AW,
17ILL promptly attend to legal business.
Special attention glren to Collecting.
mm- OIBos with J. B. Allen, In the old P. 0.
Dr. W. W. BIRKHEAD,
43 UBE0,N DENT 18 T,
TeeJh Extracted Without Pain.
Viy'tf prepare the NITROUS OXIDE OAS,
VV and admlnliter It without fear of any ill
"effect afterward. The f ai irpleaiant'to breathe
"and entirely harmless. Teeth Inserted and all
'manner of Dental Work attended to.
Offlce with Dri. HutL k Bourland, corner
"Second and Cherrr streota. v6n26pl
R. W. COBB,
?HOU8Ej.8iaN Y ORNAMENTAL
trailer, Glacier and Paper-Hanjcer.
Shop Oeer Dr. Elttt'i Xtw Drug-Store,
nlovn TROY, MIRSOUHI.
ITI. IV. McLEf .LAN, M D.,
PHYSICIAN AND SUHCiEON,
"Office at M. 8. Bellinger's Drug Store.
R. C. M AGRUDER,
ATTORN E AT LAW,
'Will practice In the Courts of tho Third Judical
-A. V. MoKEE. WM. FHAZIEK,
McKEE & PRAZIER
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Will practice in all the counties of the Third
J adlclul Circuit, and in tho Supremo Court of th
eiaie. men ly
R. D. AITOiV,
AITOHNEY AT LA1V AND REAL
Will proctico in all the Courts of tho Third
Judicial Circuit, anil the Supreme Court of th
State.- All business c
promptly attended to,
All business entrusted to his care will bo
Office over Dr. S. T. East's Drue stoie.
hours from 9 a- in. to 4 p. m.
F. T. WILLIAMS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
January I, 1869 Inly
Lr. J. C. GOODRICH,
WILL be In Troy to practice his profession
from' time to time. Due notice of thi-co
will be glren la the local columns of tho
It. C. MAGRUDER ... Proprietor.
TTIS HOTEL is now open for tho accomoda
tion of the travelling public. Well-iur-
uuucu iaDies ana neat, comioraiaDio apartments
A. H. BUCKiYER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ST. CHARLES, JTIO.,
will attend to any professional business In the
tourta or Lincoln, Warren, Montgomery and
St. Charles, and In the District and
Supreme Courts. vSnlyl
R. C MAGRUDER
Keeps constantly on hand a full supply of Pine
unmoor, untsBaBU ana UNDKESSKD, at Cap
au-Uris, Lincoln county, Mo. sepln3
ilENRT QUIQLET. J EUOENKN. BONFILB
QUIttLEY fc BONF1LS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Conveyancers & Real Estate Agents,
WILL practice in the various Courts of tha
Third Judicial Dlitiiot (Pike, Warren,
.uuiguui,ij miu umcuinj. Having seen on.
gaged for two years past in making an abstract
-of title of all real estate in Lincoln county, they
-Wo peculiar fabilltlea for furnishing at short
-notice a complete abstract oi title of all the
'lands In said county.
July 28, 1870.
T. 0. KELSEY,
"WILL DRAW FLANS AND SPECIFICATIONS
For aU Classes of Buildings,
Also fer Bridges aBd all work iu the
'OFFICE at PLANING: MILLS on WATER St.,
CLARKS VILLE, MO.
January 5( 1871 ly
Late of Memphis.
jno. s. mellon:
J. E, MERRIMAN & CO.,
Seal Estafa Exchange, Collection,
GENERAL PURCHASING AGENCY,
No. 510 Gdesnut Street,
tinder th, Icle4e Hotel,
mySnlVnyt ' LU'' M
Beck or PraWs township, a light gray mar,
,??. 8 oia bwt 14 !,,ld, nl. heavy built
llttla whiter on the face than on tbe body, marks
of oroki on netk.. AMMjssd at 174 by John W.
i1UliJ aa4 JataeSf. PU before Issaii a.
J. B. ALLEN. WM. T. BAKER
ALLEN &. BAKER,
Altoriieys-ai-Uw, Agcitg Slate Ins
Conpany Mi Real Estate Agents,
WE hare a number of good farina for tale
among which are the following
Farm ot Wm. Crouch, 1 mile from Troy. Well
80 Acre. .
Farm of T. B. Elliott, on trie road between
wrigni uuy ana Xruxton. Improvement! good
Farm of Elijah Owina-s, known at the San
defer place, 8 mil., west of Troy, near Mexico
Belonginglng to tho estate of Jos. Deleel
Office In the old P. O. BulldlVtg ef W.
M. S. BALLINGER
Drugs and Patent Medicines,
Wines and Liquors,
PAINTS, OILS, DYE-STUFFS,
And Many Other Articles.
Main Street, Masonic Hall Building,
Wholetale and Retail Dealer in
Watch Materials and Tools.
Watches and Jewelry Repaired.
NO. 210 NORTH FOURTH STREET
'Between Olive and Pine Streets)
St. Louis Ho.
April 7, 1870
THO 1 BAKER !
Keeps a full supply of
CAKES, PASTRIES, Ac,
All Mnth of Cahet and Pattrut made to
order. Bakry on Yam ttreet.
February i, 1871.
WAGONS! WAGONS! WAGONS!
F. . HARBAUM,
KEEPS OIV DAND AND
Wagons and Flows,
ILOWS, Sec. '
On short notice and in good style
A FINE LOT OF
A WO. 1 PLOWS
NOW ON HAND.
Pie Best of seasoned Wood used
in all Work.
HE ALSO nAS THE fcUUNTY RIGHT FOR
Makiner and Sellim?
1 he Eclipse Chum,
Best tn the Market.
NOTICE Is hereby given that the undersigned,
Superintendent of publio schools of Lincoln
eountv. Mo., will. In aceordanca with th aMmni
law or the 8tate, hold publio examination of
teachers, on the 1st Saturday of every month, at
th court bouse In Troy, and on those days only.
Teachers will please bear this in mind..
W. S. PENNINGTON. Bup't Publio Schools,
JnlSn2 Lincoln county, Mo:
. 900 ACRES OF LAND
CrV ACRES well, Improved. Situated miles
VV ""t o'Troy. Farther particular's can be
obtained at the Tailor Shop, 9 doors watt of
Jackson Jk. IItt'js story. June 29, 1871
fO0 HVStREsa IN THE HRAL AND
ft Witt IAl
A UUIET HOUR.
Loxornxow's atw rov.
The sunlight is past, and the dusty air
That filled the day in Its prime i
Of all the hours there's none so fair
As the dim white even-time.
The.wlnd, that blew like a breath of hsat,
la cooler and treiber now ;'
Of 'all the winds, there's none so sweet,
Soft evening wind, as thou.
An hour ilka this Is soon forgot.
And never recalled again j
The peace and rest we remember not,
Only the joy and the pata.
Were we content with such pleasures as this,
Wa might be happy in rest ;
But, In the pursuit of more difficult bliss,
We scorn to be easily blest.
We are sowing, daily sowing,
Countless seeda of good and III,
Bcattered on the'lovely lowland,
Cast upon the windy hillj
Seeds that sink in rich brown furrows,
Soft with Heaven's gracrious ram ;
Seeds that rest upon tho surface
Of the dry, unyielding plain.
Seeds that fall amid the stillness
Of the lowly mountain glen (
Seeds cast out In crowded places,
Trodden under foot of men ;
Seeds by Idle hearts forgotten,
Flung at random on the air ;
Seeds by faithful sons remembered,
Sown in tears and love and prayer.
Seeda that He unchanged, unqulekened,
Lifeless on the teeming mold J
Seeds that live and grow anil flourish
When tho tower's hand is cold.
By a whlspor sow we blessings,
By a breath we scatter strife;
In our words and looks and actions
Lie the seeds of death aud life.
Thou who knowest all our Weakness,
Leave us not to sow alone I
Bid thine angels guard the furrows
Whero the prccloua grain is sown,
Till tho flelda are crowned with glory,
Filled with yellow ripened ears.
Filled with truth of life eternal,
From the seed we sowed in teara.
Check the froward thoughta and passions,
Stay the hasty, heedleja hands,
Lest the germ of ain and sorrow
Mar our fair and pleasant lands.
Father, help each weak endeavor,
Make each faithful effort blest,
Till thino harvest shall be gathered.
And we enter into rest.
HOW HIS SHIP CAME IN.
STORV OF STRUGGLE, PATIENCE AND
I ran aoross what first struck me aB
very singular perilous 0n my road from
L cii it .... .
ouriuguum io Doston. i ins was a stout,
olaclc whiskered man. who sat iuimodi-
atoly to (root of mo, aud who indulged
irom time to time, id the most stranuo
ana unaccountable manccuvers. Every
now and tben bo would trot ud aud burrv
away to tho narrow passage wbicb leads
tO the door in thcaA itrtainn.rnnm nnva
and when he thought himself secure from
observation, would fall to laughing in
the most violent manner, and continue
the healthful exercise until he was as red
n the face as a lobster. As we neared
boston those demonstrations increased in
violence, Save that tbe stranger' no longer
ran away 10 laueli. Dut Kent his seat and
cbuokled to himself, with his chin deep
down in his ibirt collar. But the chances
iua muse portmanteaus underwent I lie
moved them here, tboro, everywhere ; he
put them behind him. in front of him. on
each side ol him. lie was evidently tret
ting ready to leave, but, as we were yet
twenty live miles from Boston, the idea
ot euon early .preparation! were ridicu
If we had entered the citv then, the
mystery would romain unsolved, but the
stranger at last beoame ao excited that
be could keep his seat no longer. Sume
one must neip mm, and as 1 was the
nearest, be selected 'me. Suddenlv 'turn
ing, as if I bad asked a Question, he said.
rocking himself to and fro In his chair
tbe meantime, and slapping his leics. and
breaking hard, "Beeo gone three years'!"
a us, ocea in r,urope. .P olks don t ex
peoi me tor six months yet, but I got
tbrouch and started. 1 teleirranhad thorn
a 4 .
at tbe last station'; they've got it by this
lime. as ne said this be changed tbe
portmanteau on his left to' bis right, and
on the right to the left again. "Got a
wife ?" said I. "Yes and three children,"
e returned, and be cot up and folded bis
overcoat anew, and hung it over the bask
of tbe aeat. uXoa are pretty nervous
over tbe matter, ain't vou?" I said.
watohing bis fidgety movements. "Well,
I should think so." he reolied : "1 hain't
lept soundly for a week And do vnu
know' he went on, glancing around at
tbe passengers and spsakiog in a low
tone, "I am almost certain this train will
run off the track, and break" my neck be
fore i get to Boston. Well, the faot is,
I have bad too much good luck for one
man lately. The thing can't last ; 'taint
natural that it ,,hould, you know. I've
watched it. First it rains, tben it shines,
then it ralDS again. It rains so hard you
think it'a never goingto stop; then it
shines so bright you think it's always go
ing to shine ; and just as you're, settlod
in .either belief, yiu are knocked over by
a change to show you that you kqow
nothing at all about it." "Well, acoord
ing to this philosophy," laid I, "you con
tinue to have sunshine because you are
expecting a atorm." "tt'a curious." he
returned, "but the only thing whiob
mskei tut thlak 1 will get through safe
la btoattrt I think I Wort." "Wail, that
s curious," ssid I. Yes," he replied
"I'm a machinist made
body be.ievcd in 1 ; spent ..II my money
home all wont. Everybody laughed at
-....B uiungiuuu iuy
me everybody but my wile spunky
little woman she would work her lingers
on ociore i should give it up. Went to
England no batter there ; come within
ao ace of juuidius: off London bridge.
Wcni into a shop to earn money enough
to come home with J there I mot the man
I wanted. To make a long story short,
I've brought 30,000 home with me, and
hero 1 am." "Good for you I" I ex
claimed, "Xes'aaid he, 30,000; and
me oosi oil it is, sue don t know any
thing about it. I've fooled her so often
and disappointed her so much, that I
just concludod I would say nothiop about
.11 as. -7
mis. vvnen i got my money, though
you better believe I struck a bee lino for
borne." "And now you will make ber
hsppy," said I. "Happy I" he replied,
"why, you don't know aovtbinu about it.
shea worked like a doir while I have
teen gone, trying to support herself and
the children decently. Tboy paid her
thirteen cents a piece for makini; coarse
shirts ; and that s the war she'd live half
the time bhe II come down there to the
depot to meet mo in a gingham dress, and
a shawl a hundred years old, and she'll
tninic she is dressed up. (Jb, she won
bavo no clothes after tbls oh,' no, I
guess not I And with these words.
which implied that his wire's wardrobe
would sood rival Queen Victoria's, tho
stranger tore down the passage way again
aim kouiuk ma oia coroer, wboro b
luuuiMit nim.eu out ot siirht. wen
i i-. t . i f ...
through the strangest pantomime, laugh
ing, putting his mouth into the drollest
shapes, snd tben swiDirine himself baolc
and forth in tho limited enace. as if hn
were "walking down Broadway," a full
rigged metroplitan boll. And so on till
we rolled into the depot, and I Dlaced
myself on the other car, opposito the
stauger, who, with a Dortmanteau in each
hand, had descended and wus standing on
the lowest step, rcadv to in inn to thn
platform. I looked from bis faco to the
face of the people before us. but saw no
sign oi recognation.
suddenly be cried. "There thav am.'
and laughed outriuht. but' in a hvaterical
son oi a way. aB bo looked. I iu owed
his eyes and saw some distance blick, as
if crowded out, shouldered away by the
wen urcfseu and elbowed through? a lit
no wuuiuo in iauea areas and well worn
hat, with a face almost painful in its in
tense hut hopeless expression, glancing
rapidly from window to window at tha
pnnnlipa pluled. m, Sh hmd nnt rp.t aeon
the stranger; but a moment aftor she
caught his evo. and in anothor inalnnt hn
had jumped to the platform with bis two
portmanteaus; and making a hole in tho
crowd, punhing one here and there, and
running one of his buudles plump into
the well developed stomach of a vener
able looking old gentleman in spectacles,
be rushed toward tbe place where she
was standing. I think I never ssw
faco aBdume so many different expressions
iu bo snort a time as did that or tbe little
woman while her husband was on hia wav
w ..v... wue uiui, ii luua. prutiy. ju lot
contrary she looked verv blain. but Rome
way I fejt a big lump rise in my throat
i watcneu nor. one was trying to
laugh ; but uud bless ber, bow com
pletely she failed inthe attempt! Her
mouth got into the position but it never
moved alter that, save to draw down the
corners and quiver, while tbe blinked her
eyes so last tbat I suspect sbe.only
caught occasional glimpses of the broad
shouldered fellow who elbowed bia wav
o raplidly toward her. And then, aa he
drew close and dropped those everlasting
pun maoteaus, sue just turned completely
round, with ber back toward him. and
completely oovered ber face with her
bands. And thus she was when tho
strong man gathered her Up in bis arms
aB if she bad been a baby, and held her
sobbing to bis breast. There was enough
gaping at them, heaven knows, and I
turned my oyes away a moment, anditben
I saw two boys in threadbare roundabouts
standing near, wiping their eyes and
noses on their coat sleeves, and burstiue
uuiaoew ai every tresb demonstration on
me part or tbotr mother. When I looked
at the atranger again he bad bis hat drawn
over bta eyes ; but bis wife was looking
p ai aim, ana it seemed an if tbo cent
.. A. P . I . 4 .
up icara oi tuose weary montbs or Wait-
ng were streaming through her eyelids.
A New Theory of Storms. An old
colored sister of Atlanta, according to
the Sun, thus acoounts for the reoent
destruotive storm in that oity :
"I can iea tell you what is da reaon
for all dis bail and wind and rain what
de good Lord bas poured out upon Us
poor sinners it all eomes of that ioe
meersheen what do white folks hah alar.
ted in dis town, its agin natur making
of fraexin' oold ice here in the month of
July, and de good Lord ia puoisbln' us
fur to be trying to be smarter dan bo it.
ne don t make ice in de summer time
nd when poor sinful man seta to. train!
agin' de Lord, den He's aure to punish
em with storms of hail and tain anri
tarafyiog fevers." r
An audaoious criminal is under arrest
in Cleveland, Ohio: He ia ten years old,
and bia offence consisted in emptying
some cigars out of a duly stamped box
into an unstamped basket, aqd trying to
peddle them among a crowd, to rata funds
to support a poor; and widowed mother,
The desperado was promptly pioked up
by a revenua deUctlva'aad committed to
iail. beoasiM ha oould mm ) k.tl i.
Jeffers'i OBifelti f mats.
urt.ii. t u v -r.
i0ir wi.h oouUmp,tlng tbe character, of
.hn then reiirninir aovern una ol Karons.
IiOois XVI. was a foul, of my own knowl'
edge, and despite of the answers made
for him at his trial. The King of Spain
was a fool ; and of Naples, the same.
They passed their lives in hunting, and
dispatched two couriers a week one
thousand miles to let each know what
gamo they had killed the preceding days.
The King of Sardinia was fool. All
these were Bourbons. The Queen of
Portugal, a Bragansa, was an idiot by
nature ; and so was the King of Denmsrk.
Their sons, as regents, exercised the
powers of Government. The King of
Prussia, successor to the great Frederick,
was a mere hog in body aa well as in
mind. Gustavua, of Sweden, and Joseph
of Austtia, were really oraky ; and Gco'ge,
of England, you know, was in straight
There remained then, none but old
Catherine, who had been too lately picked
up to nave lost ber common sonse. In
this atato Bonaparte found Kurope ; and
t was this state of ita rulers whiob lost
it with scarce a struggle. These animal
had become without mind and powerless
and so will evory hereditary mouaroh be
after a few generations. Alexander, tbe
grandson of Catherine, is aa yet an ex
ception, lie is able to bold bis own
But he is only of the third generation
His race is not yet worn out. And bo
endeth the book of Kings, from all of
whom the Lord deliver us." Harner'i
Magazine lor August.
SuN Dure. One of the ablest lawyers
in our country, a victim of lone and bard
brain labor, says a writer in tha Home
and Health, came to me a year aeo suf
ftring from a partial paralasys. The
right leg and bip were reduced in size
with constant pain in tbo loins. He was
obliged in coming up stairs to lift his
left foot first, 'dragging the right after it.
rale, tecblo, miserable, he told me he
bad beon failing for several years and
closod with "My work is done. At sixty
l und myseit worn out.
I directed him to lie down under
large window and allow the sun to shine
on every part of his body : at first ten
minutes a day, increasing tbe time until
bo could expoio bimsolf to the direct
rays of tho sun for a full half hour. His
habits wcro not essentially altered in any
other particular. In six months he came
running up stairs liko a vigorous man of
lorty, and declared with sparkling eyes,
1 liavo twenty years more of work in
1 nave assisted manv disneniln. nnii
ralgio, rbcumatio and hypochondriacal
peupio icio ncaitn oy the gun curs.
An Honest Customer. An anecdote
worth laughing over is told of a man
who had an infirmity as well as an appe
tite for fish. He was anxious to keep
up bis oharactor for bonosty, even while
making a bill with his merohant, as the
story goes, and wheo his baok was turned
tbe honest buyer slipped a codfish tin
under his cost tailt But the garment
was too short to cover the theft, and the
merohant perceived it. "Now, ' said the
customer, anxious to improve all the od
portunities to call attention to hia virtues
"Mr. Merchant, I have traded with you a
great aeai, ana nave paid you u
promptly and' honestly, haven't I?1
Ub, yes," answered tbe merchant. "
have no complaint." "Well," asid thi
customer, "I always insisted that hon
esty was the best polioy, and the best
rule lo live and die by." "That's so.
replied the merchant, and the oustomer
turned to depart. -"Hold on. friend 1'
oried tbe merchant; "soeakine of hon
estp, I have a bit of adyioe to give you.
iir i . . . - . -
iv ueoover you come to trade again, you
you bad better wear a loneer ooat. or
steal a snorter onansn
. . I . . 1 .. IA 1 1 1 '
An Unluckt Benedict. Thomas
Francis of Albany has been oartioularlr
unfortunate in marriage. His first killed
bersejf thirty. four years ago; nine years
aitsr tiis secooa spouse ran away from
him and died of destitution In Illinois ;
oii vrarv laier ms tuira consort, was
drowned. In 1858 bis fourth helnmatn
was killed, and be having been ennvietad
of tbe murder, waa sent to prison for life,
but pardoned out. In another, daeade
tbe uttb partner of bis bosom nivateri
ously disappeared ; and Very recently the
u neuueu IUUI ul UIB BOUl IOUgbl
poaco and oblivion by hanging herself to
a bedpost. The aoonmnlation nt
aim experience naving made rrsncia
philosopher, he beara bis
bereavement with fortitude.
Attending Cuuacn under Dimcnr.
TJF? A ,,rnEr went to church at
jniddietowo, Uoun., on Sunday! recently,
and sat down jo a pew. when, just as he was
getting interested in the sermon, a rouch.
looking, pious cburoh member nam. in
and, took him by tbe collar and threw
him into the vestibule. He thought he
would atay tbere and hear the rest of tbe
sermon when the sexton kicked him off
the steps. He went to tha sida of th
ohurob to listen to the sermon tbronvh
tbe window: when one of tha
said "Amen" to aomothinir tha mlnl.ip
said, and then spit tobacco juice out of
tbe window Into the listener's eyes. He
ssys a man csn't enlov mnnh toI;i'!
Middle-own. . ' '
" . .
"John." said a nnvariw .,;.
to bia son, 'Tfe.made my will to daw."
Ah you' were liberal to me, bo doubt."
Yes, John' I've come down handsome,
va Willed you tha whole Rut- r Vi.
RlalsvA-to make living In, 'with the priv
of WW ! whs rt, 'if you hi do
A lidy writes to know if it it proMf.
that is, if t is lady-like to retaliate by
aqueeting back when a man squceies her
hand. Mr.. Editor answers: "Well,
yiu might squwse easy, just enough to,
let him know tbat you are aot disposed,
to be mean about it. But don't turn
arodnd and ask him 'How is that for
high ?' or he might tKiok you too for
ward." m m ui i
A New Britain, Conn., pastor Wat
rather earelsss the other day in hia selec
tions of the to be omittod portions of the
good old hymn in which ocourt tnu
"Shall such a Worthless Worm as I
Be found at thy right hand 7"
The next stsnxawas omitted, and tha
chotr continued singing t
"Prevent, prevent It by thy grace." '
A well-known officer in Auld Reekio
was oelebrated for bis cunning and wiW
His mother having died in Edloburg, h
hired, a Jiearse and carried, her. to tk,.
family burying place in the highlands.
He returned, it is said, with the hearse
full of smuggled whisky, and being
teased about it by a friend he said, "Won
man, there's nse barm done. I only took
away tbe body and brought back tka
"Who dsre spit tobacco juiee on the
floor of this car ?" savagely exclaimed
large and powerfully built passenger, at
he arose from bia seat and stalked dowts
the aisle frowning dofiantly upon the'
other passengers. "I dsre l'1 aatd
burly-looking fellow, aa he deliberatelw
ejected a quantity of the noxious saliva.
upon tbe floor or tho aisle. "All right,
my friend," said the first speaker, slap,
ping tbe other in a friendly manner upon,
tho shoulder, "give us a ohew of to.
When Horace Greeley was in Pennsyl
vania, a few Weeks since, a book boy
pressed bim to buy a copy of "What I
Know About Farming." Greeley at
first deolined ; but after some argument
the boy said: "Don't you see, Mr.
Greeley, tbe more of these books sold,
tbe bigger commission you get?" Gree
ley bought the book, and the boy laugh
ingly boasted he had sold him three
copies, at different times within six
months. Who wouldn t be an author t
After he had built tho Drew Church.
one of his old neighbors was inauirincr of
Daniel his experience about special protr
idence 1 "Beliove in apeoial providence ?
Of course I do," said Daniel.
" VV hv
woen i subioribod 10,000 Tot the
church, -rhad no idea where the money
was coming from, but Providence wat
ith. .ma .. 1 want. tlo-wo ! AVW' J etrcgt,"
got in with some of those New York
smart fellows, and in le?a than six months
1 bsd Skinned them out of 810.000 aa
slick as a whistle."
A stsrtling event lately took plt9t in
church where the olerevmsn adonta
rather a strange style of admonition.
Speaking of tha devil going about like
roaring lion, be aaid Satan was every
where in the wotld in the camp in tbe
court, in the theatre, in tbe private
houses ; and rising with bis subjects he
ssid, "He is in this obruoh at this very
moment ;" upon which a sharp ory Wat
raised by a little boy in a pew belonging
to one of the leading families of the con
gregation. "Aunty, auoty," he shouted,
"take me out, take me out: I Want to
get away." And aunty bad to take him
out, the boy rushing in terror from the
ohurob, not having the heart! to atay any
longer under the 'same roof with a per
sooago of whom he had formed so terri
ble an idea.
Funeral Accident. The Ob.ieaa
Timet publishes tbia account of aa aotU
dent at a funeral ; - -
The parlors where the ooffln was 'Mat
ing were exceedingly crowded with peo-
Die 10, that the unusual walirhl nnnn that
floor cstisod it to give wsV 'during the
address of the minister.'and precipitated
tne whole crowd, coffin, 'ministers and
mournera into the cellar.' The room be
low was used at a pan fry. and storo roon
and dairy, and oontained a number of
pans of milk, jars of butter, jam, dm.
serves, etc, to that almost every; one wat
accommodated with a liberal daubing of '
one or more of these artioles. r vThe Chi
oago lady who. informed th, writs of the
catastropbo wat particularly fortunate,
managing to get oqp foot into a jar of
butter, another into a pan of milk, while
a shelf of'hone'y waa denoslted in hat
lap. To add to the confusion, the coffin
was broken by the fall and corpse landed
in a oarrei oi t oif sospt ,
An Irishman, ifefferinar ssfrlv:frhA
the toothache, called upon.adiatinguiabed
pbysioisn and witty dentist of.hia n'sti.s
Isnd to have the tooth extracted,; ""i;
"Oh, Dooth,r, darliu', l'tt1 'infer nf
terribly ; oan you alio the imt'' '
"Hit down here," ssid the 'Doctor, .'-"and
'II ill you all, right in a jiffy.", ,,?
"uootner, dear, will it hurt me tnuoh 7"
"If it don't," said the Doctor, jocosely,
I won't oharge you a cent."
The poor fellow opened hia Month.
and, in a twinkline. the Doctor had hnlri
of the offending member, aud give' snob
iwnon in arawtng it mat blspatlent
ave a Jump and a tcraan. aa ir t.
thought bit head was off.
"Did it hurt ton much?" ask) th.
Dbotor, at the boor sufferer waa boattHnrf
round, groaning loudly tad holding en t
uis ueau ana jawe Wltn ail 111 might,
"ot-a bit, Doetber, not a bit.
"What " axolaiaiesl tha ..btai.tt
"ObVyot a bit, Dootkev, aot
ettebrtsj ,at tjf bU fat tbat tlase, Mr,