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title: 'The Lincoln County herald. (Troy, Lincoln County, Mo.) 1865-1873, August 21, 1872, Image 1',
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TJio Lincoln Comity Herald
HMir.lsiii:i) BVBiiY wkdnksdaY
miiso. r. iisiieii.
LINCOLN COUNTY HERALD,
TKItMM OS AIlVKItl'ISINC.
Ono S'luaroOO linos) or les;lon'olnserUoh'.'..l si
Kaoh additional Insortion .'X.. . l'i
Administrators' Notices.; 3 Ov-
Flrial Settlement Notices 3 oi
Stray Nollcos (single stray) 3 0(1
liaeh Additional stray in talnl notice'. 1 OU
jlC A Liberal Induction will bo made to
?.4M) A YKAR IN ADVANCE
COP1K. I'lVR CUNTS.
KU4lsiVE L. MYlNOR,
TROY, MO., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21, 1872.
l llili attond lb all kinds of Dental work
V anil guarnhtco enllro taltrfiictlon. I o will
visit the different parti of tha county, previous
nutlco of which visits will ha given.
itM" Office Front room over 0. C, ltansdoll's
Boot and HIioh Btiro. jul3n27
J.C.OOODniCH. W. W. BIKKIIKAt)
ttOOPRICH V Ill KK III? AD,
Troy, - ITIiNNOuri.
DR. lllUlvlIEAI) will 1.8 In tlio oflico nil tho
time. I)r. (100DHICII will only bo hero
from time to tlruo, duo notice of which will ho
ljllven. lias Tor tho PAINLESS extraction of
teeth ailuilnlttcrcd nt all times hy Dr. Blrkboad.
August 31, 1871. v6n26yl
G. T. DIJfN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ftew Hope. - . - Missouri.
Will practice in tho Courts nf the Nineteenth
Judical Circuit. Spoclal attontlon given to rol
R. C. MAGRIIDER,
ATTOIINKY AT LAW,
Cnp-nti-tiiriM, - JTliKonri.
Will praellco in the Courts of tho Nineteenth
Judicial District. v7n5
W. C. McFARLAXD,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Troy, - - Missouri.
Will prnctico In the Court? of tho Nlnctcenlh
Judicial Circuit, niid will give special nllentlon
to collections. Offlic Front room over J, It.
Knox's llnnk. v'nll!
CIIAS. MARTIN) Jr.,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Troy, - - Missouri.
Will prnctico In nil tho Courts of tho Jino
toenth Judicial Circuit. Special uttcntioii given
lo tho collection of debts. v6n3l)
A. V. y'KKK. IlKNKY QUIfll.KY. E. N.IIOSHI.S.
McKRK. QUItiLEY & II0NF1LS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Troy. - - Missouri.
Will prnctico in tho vnrinus Courts of this nnd
adjoining counties. Special attention given to
collections and mailers rei.uing io real osinio.
Office, horthenst eornor Main and Cherry
ctrcets, just below Lncledo Hotel. n3t)v7
J. B. ALLKN. W. T. BAKEU.
ALLEN & BAKER,
Attorneys-at-Law, Agents Stale ami
Phoenix Insurance Companies,
and Real Kstale Agents,
JOJSHPH B. AI.LEN, Notnry Public,
B. W. WI1EEL.ER,
... .. . . .. . m' . . .... 1. 1 1 .
jiuuriii'y at ijiiw ami uuiuiy i uuuc,
i:w 110112, mo.
Will nttend to nny professional busli.ess In tho
Courts of Lincoln, Warren, I'lko nnd Montgom
ery counties. sep7'7lu:i(iy I
WM l'UA.IKIt. 11- W. COLBKKT.
b ltAZir.ir & comihkt,
Attorneys at Law & Real Estate Ag'ls,
Will practice in all the courts nf tho Nineteenth
.ludieiul Circuit. Special nttontlon given to col
lections nnd to tho solo and purchase mid leasing
of real estate. Abstracts of t it lex, warranty
deeds, deods of trust nnd mortgages mado out
on thort notice Largo number of valuablo
farms for tale at low prices. p!T OHleo on Main
street in Kansdoil'e building, up stairs. v7nU
WALTON & CKEUCIl,
Attorneys at Law & Real Estate Ag'ts,
Will practice In all tho Uourts of the Nineteenth
Judicial Circuit, and tho Supreme Court of the
fitato. All business entrusted to thoir care will bo
'promptly attended to.
Office over Dr. S. T. East's Drug stoio, Oflico
hours from 9 a' m. to 4 p. m.
TIIORNIIILL & BUSWKLL, Propr's.
THIS Is a flrst-clMs hotel, furnished In good
stylo and Its table tuppliod with the best tho
markot affords. Strangers stopping in Troy will
find here all the ooraforts of homo.
Tho BAH is stocked wl'h strictly Ptiioo LI-
qnors, such as Brandies, Whiskies. Wines, Alo,
uin, etc.) also me nnest uranus oi ivigars,
jj LAROH SUPPLY OF LUMBRIl AT
' Chanrof Hocks; Lincoln Co.
"Woathcrboardlntf, Sheeting, Door and Window
frames, Bash, and Building Material
' generally, Address
W. E. BROWN,
JunlOm8nt5 Chali of Kock, Mo.
NOTIOH Is kereby glvea that lottors of ad
ministration weia cranked to tho under
slenod on the eslato of ilonrv OuloiaY. deo'd
by tho Clerk nf the I'robato Court of Lincoln
county, Mo., on the 10th day of July, IH72.
Persons buying claims against laid estate aro
rcqulrod to oshlfcU then to the aduiinls ratnr
within ono year from the itatu of said letters, ur
tboy may bo pwcludoi! (rum any bouollt of said
oitulo nnd If not exlilulloj within two years
from the dato or said letters, they will bu foiuver
litred. LIuUI) IAVI T. WADDY. Adni'r.
THE MTTI.I3 IJKAVI3.'
"It's only aUltlo grave," they raid,
'Only just a child that's doadi"
And to they catclosily turned away
From tho mound tho spado had mndo thnl day.
Ah I thoy did not kho how deep ft shado
That little grave In our homo had made.
I know the coffin was narrow nnd small.
Ono yard would have served for an nmplo (tall,
And ono man In his nrins could havo lorno nuay
Tho rosowood anil its freight of clay ;
Utit I know that darling hopoi wcro hid
Beneath that littlo coffin lid.
I know that a mother stood that day
With folded bands hy that form of dny i
I know tli nt burning tears wero hid
'Neath tho drooping lash nnd tho aching lid
And I know her lip) and check, and brow,
Wero almost as white ns her baby's now.
t know that fomo things wcro hid away
The crimson sack nnd tho wrappings gay;
The snow-white dress tho lock of hair.
And for eyes so bluo and head so fair
There's an cmjty crib, with its covers spread,
As whlto ns tho faco of tho slnlcs den J.
'TIs a little gravo hut oh, havo caro I
For wolld-wido hopes aro buried there
And ye, perhaps, in coining ycarst
May see, like her, through blinding tears,
How much of light, how much of Juy,
Is buried with an only boy I
TUB OLD COUPLE.
They rat in tho sun together,
Till the dny was almost done,
And then at itscloso an angel
Stepped over tha threshold ntiino.
Ho folded their hands together,
lie touched their eyos with balm,
And thctr last breath floated upward
Llko tho close of & solemn psalm.
Tilko a biidal pair thoy traversed
Tho unseen, mystical read,
That leads to tho Beautiful City
Whose builder nnd maker is Uod.
Perhnps In that lnirnclo country
They will glvo hirlost youth hnck,
And Iho flowers of n banlshod spring-tlmo
Shall lloom In the spirit's track.
Olio draught of tho living waters
Shall restore his manhood's prime,
And eternal years shall measure
Tho lovo that outlives time.
But tho shapes they left behind thorn
Tho wrinkles and silver hair
Mado snored to us by tho klssos
Tho angels imprinted there,
Wo'll hldo nwny in tho meadow,
When tho sun is low in tho welt,
Wbcro tho moonbonms c.tLnot find them,
i'or tho wind disturb their rest.
But Wo'll lot no toll-talo tomb-slono
With Its ago and date ariso
O'er tho two who aro old no longer
In their Father's house In tho skies.
Nf Experience. '
" Woll, if that isn't ridiculous I I have
always had a great admiration for Uai
Hamilton, and didn't think the could
write anything se silly.
"Why, what does sho say ?"
"Listen I Iloro in her now work
'Woman's Worth and Worthlessnoss
sho makes this remark : 'Women bad
better dress unhealthily than unbecom
iugly.' I am surprised that a woman o
her caliber and iufluenco should risk her
reputation fur wisdom on such an aser
tion. I know full well that most women
are now in abjeot slavery to the unwiso
and hurtful demands of fashion, and it ill
bocomes ono like her to rivet tho chains
"You men don't know how devoutly
thanklul you ought to be for your sen
Bible mode of dress. Your clothing is
equally distributed over your body,
leaving respiration and locomotion free,
whilst we "
Well, why don't you women dress
sensibly, too? 1 am sure no ono would
Mow, what is the use of talking in
thatway? You know the truth of theold
adage, 'You might as well bo out of the
world as out of tbo fashion, and if I
were to follow the dietates of common
sense in this matter, I should appear odd,
and subject myself to invidious remarks."
"Well, all 1 have to say is tkis it 1
were a woman, I would dress to suit my
self, no matter what people would say."
1 oonoluded to argue the question no
further with my husband, but resolved,
if I lived another day, to put his theory
to test. Accordingly the next morning
I rolled my hair up in an elaborate coil,
about the size of half a walnut, aud dis
pensed with all the superUous supports
and drapery, lbus comfortably and
classically arrayed, 1 descended to the
My husbaud looked surprised, but
contented himself with the kindly in
quiry, "if I were not well I" I answered,
After breakfast I congratulated myself
upon suob a One nrrancement, as now ,1
nseu spenu no nine upon uij louei, vu
could sit right down and have a long
i i .!! k...
forenoon iu which to sew.
After being thus engacod for a short
time, there came a tinele at the door bell
I answerod it myself. There stood a
gentleman, who gave me small panel,
with the rcnuest. "Please hand it to the
iadv of the house." I bobbed him a
craoaful eourtesv. and eaid. "Yis, ear.
At dinner time my' youngest hopeful
earn baundioe- in from aohoot. with the
salutation, "Why,, ma I is that you? I
didn't know you." Mv husbspd aeenicd
still mere bewildcrod, and asked, "Did 1
fcaVo m pain io y haad ? Hadn't 1
better He down and apply a wt bandage ?"
I hastened to assure- htm that I never
felt hotter in my Ufo.
Io tho afternoen I couolHilsi lo jtat on
a good old-fashioned Bua-bonnet, go inte
tho vard aud tto up lotuo obrubbcry
While thus ongaueu, I was accosted by a
man from over the fonoo etith tho in
quiry, "Did I know of any atreng, good
looking girl, like royncir, bo could hire to
do bis housework?'' 1 replied, "I did
not." "Voll, then did 1 think any or
changing my place 7 if ao, he would give
as cuod waeos as anybody, pcrhapi bet
ter than I was. cettlDg. 1 informed hm
"I had not tlio east dent to cltuoao.Tor
- . . i
I had a very indulgent mistress, and as
fr tho man of the houso, I really liked
him nuht well.- And furthermore, 1
said, "that no gentleman would endeavor
to hiro a servant from her place," I pro.
ocedud to oormnco him of that fact, when
bd recollected be was in a hurry, and
must loek farther.
Then 1 asked myself the question (
la Francis Ttoin.) "How do you like it
so far at you havu cone?''
However, the worst was to eome yet.
About tea timo I happened tu go to the
frontdoor, when lo und behold I who
tnouiu ue coming in at tue gate Dut my
Iiustjana anil au old tune beau. HOW.
if woman has one weakness abovo an-
ntliar it ia to Senear wall hafrire n nunn
dam admirer, not for the spirit of coquet
ery, but Tor the eatistactinn of having
him admit to himself, "What lucky
dvil my rival wus." ell here was a until 11 o'clock, but could not hoar from woro articles of value, "it you will con
dilemma : which horn should I take the child anywhere. That ninht it rained ienl not 10 PrMS further investigation
advance or run? I instantly chose the
r i . l: " i- n.. i .
luiniar, auu uiei niui very curuiauy, uui
thought I detected in bis quick glance
an expression which seemed to say,
"Thank my stars that I escaped that
n.nntnn " 1 1 n H.. nlifiH mn ........ I I r. . o I
nuiuuu. nun q.vii UUUIIDU. ao I
to tell mo "that I had clinnuod ureatlv.
and lud ho met mo unexpectedly, he
should not have known me." In the
coureo of the ovening, ad I inquired after
my girlhood friends, ha scorned to take
especial pleanuro in telling mo "they
were very uno looKijig women.
Finally, the evening being warm, the
gentlemen proposed a walk down town
for ice cream. 1 exclaimed, delightedly,
"Oh, thauk you, that will bo nico ; just
wait a moment until I get my sun bon
you ought to give me credit for sufficient
independence to dress with a view to
convenience rather than appearance."
uuuunuiy nuv uruii un um ujmiiui
visien, and as I explained the "situation"
I . I. . 1. I I . . - ..... 1
to our mutual friend he joined heartily
in the merry laugh, feeling relieved that
there was no immediate necessity lor a
trip to a certain asylum.
bo after all, 1 have concluded that in
one sense Uail is right. And while we
are in Turkey we had hotter do as tho
Turkeys do. Correspondence Woman's
100 fliany Mies.
Chicaee seems to bo a sort of fly par
adise. ncoardini? to ono of our axchunL'es.
net. I hen up spoko my husband, as to get high when a physician found a yMn I had toilsd for the 'posish' of P
one having authority, "Not in that rip, place whore a child Wearing gaiters had j and last week I succeeded. Hut dot
if yoa please, madam." I said, "Why crossed tho road, climbod a fence and write after my name, ex-P. M.
uui i ii b mi v euuiiurmuie, uuu kuiciv jumped inio laa ueiu. iter leui, buobu I'M tell
. i.t ..... .1 I . I i . . l 4ti tt . t 11 .... .. .
and the "oldest inhabitant" vouehen for Tuesday trying to learn who had lost the Tho next day I entered upon tho dis
the truth of tbo story that this year boats child. charge of my duties, nnd yesterday Unole
tha whole record in tho fly nuisance at
tho restaurants and about the city. A
good slory IB told how Mr. Billy Baxter
cleared his establishment of his winged
visitors, and hero it is :
Since the fire, Chicago cm boast of
many good, bad, aud indiuercut restuu-
rauts. "Wherever thero is met a saloon,
or a clothing store, or a gambling room,
or a icwclrv shoo, or a theatre, thero is
. . '.
located n restaurant, or a luncn room,
No sooner was a table 6et in one of these
places than tho flies were on it. nnd
when huncrv mortals undertook' to' dlnu
there ensued a fight for tho spring chikon,
or tbo boiled salmon, or the raspberry
rolls. If the man was lucky enough to
get it he enjoyed not only tho meal but
tho oonsolatieu ot knowing that he had
finished scores ot the troublesome pcsls.
Billv.Baxter had loner been troubled
at his restaurant on West Madison street
with tbe Hies, lie naa tried everv way
possible to rid tbe house of them, but all
in vain. Thev lauehed at naisoned na-
per, and as lor those ingeniously con'
trived wiro trans.-thev stood on the cas-
tors and on tho cigar cases, aud actually
turned up their little noses. It was
rned up their little noses. It was
icoming more and mora annoying, and
n Ii)ly's good nature was fast. disap-
ring,? j ' i '
On Wednesday afternoon a green-look-
inc sort of a chan atennod into the res-
tniirnnt and lnfnrmfld Baxter that ho
could rid bis houso of flies, and that he
would do so for tha small sum of 82.
Billv's Lie bellv shook with deliebt. and
he dosed iho barcain on the snot, only
stipulating the money would not be paid
until the absence of tho flies could be!
Tbo green-looking chap took from a
dilanidatod oarnetsaok a hemisnhoriesl
case nearly a foot in length, and three or
lour innhea in aliiimoter. lie laid his tor
pedo like arrangement on the floor in the
room, sprinkled a layer of powder tor
nnnrlv Ian rarrla. than unnlinil a match,
Almost instantly there was.an explosion,
The "business had busted" with a ter-
rifio roar. So had the windows, and the
orookery, ana the flooring, and Ueorge
(Tola's new whitebat) There: wasn't a
whole pane of glasi, or a toe cun, ov
waier DiioTiwT. t uv tu ua zuisua iu ov
room. And wors still, (he queer look,
ing chap had departed without losvieg'
hi card, w netner se is we Bronrieion
Of a rival liaihery, er was Beelzobub in
iliarniso. no one ean tell. It is only
certain that whoeror oska Baxter would
he like to ba rid et his fliaa will bare
look out for n bwfcpn haad.
0, Charlie, I expoct to graduate
next couimontfltnont," said a btwrding
school Mi. "Graduate! what will you
graduate ia." "Why, in whito tulle I"
A Wild Girl A Mystery.
From tho Nevada (Mo,) Examiner.
(In Kridav evcnlnc nt a ceunlo of Mr
Rosor's children were going to tho well
situated iu a fiold of growing com, about
on-fourth of a mile from iho houso, for
tar. the saw a little "irl about 8 voar
old oomitig from tlio aoulh and goioi; Oorwin walked away, "dat'a mo.t 'Btron
north toward Moundvillo. She was cry- "'y i gofernor of Obio dona forgot
ino wildl v. At the natuod (he children
l.Ko aniit Wh.n Is mimiui'i linii.o"!
r j i
but weut en without atoDninir and crossed
the north fence. When the children got
back to tho fenco near the houso, they
law tho littlo girl on tho hill about kulf
n mile off, they went to the bouse and
taU their mother, but when alio went to
t,0 door the could not too the child.
Whon Mr. Hasor carco homo Into at uisht
i tni.i i,:m .1,, circumstnnees but be
sunnosed it wos ton late to huut tho child.
While he was out in the vard after
supper he heard a child in the direc-
tion tho little one had gono, scream out
as if lrijjhtcued. Immediately be started
toward the sound, of the bill in the
nrair e. neain be hoard tha oh d scream
out. lie stoDDcd at his noichbsr's. Iilr
I!.,. I- I... .rn mill. u..t in I,..,,. I
the child. After HuBk camo out of his
house they both heard tho child scream
L"ain as if frightened. Thoy hunted
very bard about ono hour.
.r . . . . I
Caturuay the neignoors Were arOUSCd
3Ud (he whole neighborhood was on tho
bunt, and tiders went for miles around
ami innuirl if them a n child lot. or
! I ' . I I'll 1 1 1 I
j uuy Ul 1110 CllllUreH UUU UBCU ttnuv I
from bonio nn Kridav last, nnd could not
hear that any child had been from home,
Tho nennla finallv rams to tho cmii-lu.
sion that the children wcro mistaken, and
even Mr. Hasor and ltuk began to think
that they might have been deceived by u
night owl screochini;, and thoy gavo up
the i-oarch luto on Saturday.
On Sunday Mr. ltobert Wilson, while
m Mr. Spcrry s corn field, discovered a
child's track, but barefooted. The search
was again renewed and excitoment began
with gaiters, as was seen by the impres-
sion in tho mud, were small ; the childlaJ 0f a graveyard rcoommundation, I
where it lit on the ground fell back and succeeded him. It's nobody's business if
IT r. - . I . T.I.
i ieu an impression on me son, ana as "i
Bot up fell forward on its knocs. They
eeuld not track it out of the field, but
found two more green cobs from which
the corn was eaten. Ono theory now is
that tho child has become wild with
fnsht and hides from those that oro
hunting her, in the tall grass or weeds.
The signs, tracks and ctiawcd cobs show
thero was a child there, and the naigli-
I bors are sure it eould be none of theirs,
Tho greatest mystery is : Where did the
etnid coma irom I
" 'earn the above from Mr. Karnes
of Moundeville, who was in town on
I A Slow Coacll.
When the Putent Scrow and Auger-
line of railway from Porkoplis terminated
ut Muddleburg, O. It has since come to
be a great national thoroughfare the
unhappy passengors were carried to all
narts of tbo civilized word, as woll as to
New Jersey, by tho old fashioned stages,
These stncoj ran crowded, mid there was
. , -
generally a contest lor seats. Uov
Thomas Corwin was to leuvo Muddlo-
burs? at midniL-ht for tha state cauital in
a stairo. To sroure tha best sest. this
humorist sat up all night. He was not
alone, for ha had a bottlo of choice old
whisky to keep him company, llo
tried the whisky, he suid, plain. Ho
then had it mado into a mint julep, after
ha . bad discussed it in tho shuno of a
smash. About eleven o'clock ho thoui-ht
I a cocktail would add variety to this epice
ot Itlo. This ba washed down with a
hot punch, and thon, at midnight, just as
ho heard the staeo rattle in. ha took all
that was loft "straight."
Keiziuc his camet-saok and ovorcoat.
he rushed-out lo find a crowd around the
stage, and without saying a word, but in
stsge, and without saying a word, but in
a great hurry, bolted in and eseoond bjtn-
self in one corner upon the btok seat,
He fell asleep congratulating himself
I . i i t . i i i i.:
upon having beon so fortunate, and bad a
dim. drearv consciousness of the stano
When be again wakened tho stago was
1 at a stand. still : tho curtains ware all
down, tha windows un : but council dav
Hit-lit cot in to aatisfv him that tba insti-
tution had "done broke," some timo
since. He hastily started up, and, drop
ping one of the windows, was porlectly
amazed to find himself in tbe wagon yard
of a hotel. Two hoi?a were netting their
dinner out of a manuro heap, while a
mclanchollv cow atood cliowimr her CUd.
while working her tail to keep it in prao
tiee for fly time A lazy hostler was, en-
tarlnininrr hlmaalf mitli a nitchfork.. . A
further note of the surroundicgs.sotufied
Gov. Corwin that ho was in the rear of
Muddleburg hotelrand that he-had tenn
there from twelve o olock the night
beTora. Cforwin'waa a'mau of flenius. and
a lifdld'not 'fake hiu long to discover the
usuiu oi iuib nj;iiawvuiiii t twbuiv. ii.
bad got iuto a slaga that had eome in,
IrjBUBd-ofJgoitlg'buW The pcopk abpat
ims icamor eonvenienee- wnen ue en
oonsod himself, thought, as he afterward
learned, that ho was a paiseager iu seareh
of ah'umhreHa, t aomo ether rticla, loft
Tho govornor opsned tha dear of tbe
atette rv atftfy. j Hejcrejit &u. trying
at to feel that, as he said auhsequontly,
akin hung looso on him. Hq could
scpo, hniwveY, the yet of Itm, hostler,
wh eclaiwd vm mtsit asrouisaiiisut ;
"Hello, governor, did they fnrgit and
leave you in da Stage t
"Ihero, tlir. my man, answered Cot-
B'riit hi dol' "You
kP your Ay 'rap huet ?r 'I'" 11 e a
uddcn danth in your familyx.
" t ore Uod, exclaimed the ti
in a stago coach.
. . . K . .
Uorwin walked to the hotel, deposited
U1'4 carpet iack and coat behind tho first
door he encountered, and then sauntered
into the breakTast room, trying to assume
air of a man who had not slept iu a
wagon yard all night. While disouxing
,'10 otlud sole lcatbor and muddy coffee,
"" vtnicu tlio American people pay hotol
prices, a friend on the other side of the
tablo, looking up fuddenly, exclaimed
"Why, govornor I thought you left for
the oapital last night."
"ncil, exclaim Uorwin, with one ot
the whimsical looks which was wont to
set the table in a roar, "I was under that
"oot lelt, did you I
"Yes, I believe I was a good deal loft."
'ilnw si that. Governor ?"
here, my friend," exolatroed Cor
"in, careimiy depositing nis mnio ami
fork on each sido of his plato as if they
00 that subject, I will prcsont your wife
i . in.. . ...i ....
uuuuet luuru ntii u uuai sioiio
tban any now in market. If yon't con-
sent," he continued with wild energy,
seizing his fork, "I'll murder you."
1'llA fitnW linwOVa. Waatl.fl f Hid ll fl T
Tom to keep to himself, and for years
after be was iu tho habit of tolling how
he slept in a stablo yard, und attributed
a" ,0 omo vcry bad whiskey that the
Hon- Salmon P. Chase had given him.
Keeping a I'ost-Offlce.
From tbo earliest period of my recol
lection I've hud a desire to keep a post
office, or have the V. O. keep mo ; I
didn't care a continental wbicb. For
vou bow it camo about, ine
nest-master here resigned, and. with the
i did rob the tombstones lor names lor
mv petition : and I can't see whv the
... . . . .
relatives of the defunct chaps won't quit
throwing it up to a fellow.
Well, I wrote P. M. after my name.
Mrs. Linmuck embraced me with the
tcmlarnaia of a sho bear when I rushed
iuto the room wavinir mv edition over
mv head, and mv annointmont broucht
lnn sundry other hues. 1 waa a happy
Mrs. L. and I sat un till midnight
writing my name with r. 31. alter it.
(jh. it looked grandly. I wouldn't havo
liwanDed for Prost.. LL. 1).. or A. B.
aamuel discharged me.
Immediately upon his successor (which
was me) being qualified, tho ex P. M.
left, and I was left alone. Tho mail
eame uud I distributed it thus wise:
My motto bat always been, 'First come
usi served, nnu i actou upcu u io mu
best of mv ability. I gave a letter to
eaoh caller as long as they lastod, and
thon I commenced on the papers.
.... ... .....
v lie saia ms iuing wouiu uci uuo u
charm. Under the old regime some peo
nlo never cot a letter, while now tho first
person in tbo office, after the distribution
of the mail, would got tbo biggest, fatest
letter that came.
Iho idea was original, anu i prioeu
myself upon the mveutton. lbe Lip
muck braiu was ever lnvontivo.
lha morning loliowca -mail uay,
loft mv house for the post office tho
attainment of long cherished ambition.
As 1 turnsu a corner i uiscuvaru iwu
well known citizens about to test tho vir
tue of olenobed hands.
"I never wrolo a letter to your wife,'
"You lie!" yelled the other', "your
letter yesterday was banded to me. .ny
letter yesterday was nanoea io me. -uy
wife i? in Birmingtrn, and wrote a sweet
latter to you. Lipmuok's noblo motto,
'First come first served,' placed it in my
I .:r- : . : 1 ....,!.... n nn,i urni.
hands" and a Moment lator at it they
I hurried On.
1 had just entered tho P. 0., when a
woman entered the building.
"You villain I" she yelled, knooklng
my hat to the floor, aad burying be
eagle talons in my hair. "You gave my
letter to Mrs. I'astongue, tho biggest old
a .1 .i. . i.n:
slanderer in lown. Anu suo a teiii
everywhere that 1 ve been writing to
Well, I can't bossi stf as much hair as
1 C0UIU a WC0K ago.
- Scarcely had my persecutor left when
a crowd rushed into tne omen, i
I M'tthodist Drsacher headed it. I tbi
he swore as ho crossed tho threthbold.
"Villain I" he yelled, "you gavo Bird
Lyre one of my letter, and he' blowlug
everywhere 4nai ve got a wire in rew
Yerk snd another In Maine,"
"Kill I m html yolled ioss
i I saw a doze AsU a4 olubs Bearing
me, and I retreated.
- I -it tun me shuuuijvdi i sriua mu
woman, and 1 feared tha ooavmand would
I went through th window, and now
l Ai In another tqwfi.
I la n .'. nt. nor, and ft chap
whose motto lint 'tirs come first
liis ssrvcii,' stiodu ot the noal of my lte
My brief 1. M.-ship fen not bcon un
Ipnodttitiva of roaislta. Tbttt M.
preaoher has left bis charge and a New
York woman is hunting him. Twenty sit
divorces state our next codrt In the face,
and, through my brief career, nine men
walk on crutches, and four women have
And I? Why, my cranium is hairlesf
and I daro not go back to Skullylown to
penalty of death.
My ambition is satisfied new, and t
havo discharged that motto, 'First came,
first served.' It don't Work ib a post
office. I wouldn't bo a P. M. again for alt tbd
benzine in the world.
The Macon, Georgia, (Telegraph, thus
ventures to paint a moral and adorn a
tale : "It is reported that several young
ladies at a fashionablo water place, who
had the benefit of pious training, still
show iho fruits of their early education
by using on Sunday for en bon point,
nothing but religious newspapers. They
aro true as steel, too, to thoir denomina
tional tenets, and a bright little Presby
terian blondo patronises the Southern
Presbyterian ; another black'Oyed disci
pi o of Wesley, will support nothing save
tho Christian Advocate ; while a certain
coy maiden, with a dark complexion and
flowing rioglots, who has been under the
water, clings to tho dear Index, which is!
io eloquent about immersion and the
necessity of boing 'buried beneath tho
liquid wave.' All aver that they feel
better while wearing near to their doar
persona those emblems of their faithj
and why not let the pretty devotees enjoy
their religious principles. This is car
rying into practico what they profess, and
surely no one will bo so illnatured as to
suggest that they bad hotter leave off
these prodigious appendages and emulate
tho simplicity of the Quaker. Out upon
such a barbarious insinuation 1"
Children Selling jn Japan. -Tho
detestable pructico appears to bo prova
leut in Japan of purchasing und selling
young children. Lroni tuia a still more
horrible practice ba8 grown np. Chi
nese traders have gono lo Japan, and for
Inning sum purchased young girls ot
their parents in order to bring them up
in a life of infamy. To so great an ex
tent has this practice been conducted that
tbo following rather mild notification baa
been issued from tbe Japanese I'oroign
Officer. "You camo to our country for
the purpose of trading only, and expect
ing great privileges ; hut we are informed
that some Chinese havo bought Japa
nese children, and sent them to China for
the purpose of making them slaves. As
no one likes to sell his own childsen, it
is certain that other people's children
havo been stolon. Wo regret this and
aro very angry about. You have resided
a long time in this country under the
government protection, but iustnad of
doing good for our country you have
done much evil. If any such wrong
doing occurs again, tho government will
not spare. Bewaro, Chinese I
How is it that women manage to look
so cool in warm weather? A man will
go flapping along with open vest, hand-
erchief in hand, hat ou the back of his
head, bugging a narrow strip of shado
on tbo sidewalk with a dogged deiptra-
ion, that prelecting stoops, cellar doora
and wheelbarrows well nigh heighten to'
insanity, ind making a show of himself
like a boiled carrot steaming from the
pot, while a woman a young womau
will turn out in a streaked dress, put on
some kind of a fly net around her waist,
a littlo frilling, eome blue ribbon and a
laco collar, and sail along under a noon
day sun, looking as cool and graceful as
a Norway pino on its native hills. Why
A young lady having set her cup for at
rather large apociraen of tba opposite
sex, and having failed to win, was telling
ber sorrows to a coupia oi oonnacnta
when one of them comforted her with
these words : "Never mind, Mollie ;
there s as good fish in the sra as ever
waa caught." "Mollie knows that," re
plied the other; "but she wants d
Mr. Shade Spalding, a thriving farmer
living on tbe Mexico read, about two'
miles from St. Peters, lost his entire
wheat crop of this year, except one'
wagon load, last Saturday night' by fire.
lbe wheat was already threshed, sacked,
and, was ready for market. Tho causa
of the fire and the amount of loss we
were not able to learn. St. Charles
A beggar asked for a piece of bread
and butter at a house th other day, and
on a couplo of slioes being brought to'
him, ho immediately refused it. "What's
the matter?" asked tbe donor; "isn't
this good bread?" "Yes, tbo bread's
goed enough," end the beggar. . "Well,
isn't the butter good, too?'' "Yes, I've
no fault to find with the butter." "Well
then what is the matter?" "I don'
like the way it's spread en," growled, the
is' a small baby like a big
When ho ia a wroth child.
What most people clear' by ttettiwg on
horse races their pookots.
What part of the rifle is Ilka as
sault? 'J be breoob of tbe piece. .
A little girl desoribed a snake' as a
'thing that's a tail all up to Iho Jsead."
Tho oat is a wonderful builder; we
have seen a cat run a house Iu lest liu
fire minutes. .
Some one, speaking of the. red no) of
an intemperate man. said ' It wus a very
K. 1 eapousiro paiutiug."