Newspaper Page Text
The Lincoln County Herald
PUBLISHED EVKKY WEDNESDAY
THEO. DlVlSHER.
$l.0 A YEAR IN ADVANCE
SINGLE COPIES tlVE CENTS.
J.C.OOODRICfl. W. W. BIIIKIIKAD
ttOODRICH A niRKIIIvAD,
DENTISTS,
Troy, - - MigNOiiri.
'?TVl. BIBKHEAD will bg In the offico alltho
U time. Dr. UOODUICII Kill only lo hero
from time to time, due notibe of which will be
jlrcn. Um for the PAINLESS extraction of
leeth administered at all times by Dr. Birkbcad.
Auguit .11, 1 R7 1 . v6n28l
T. DUJTUT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
iVew Hope, - - imouri.
Will practico in the Court nf the Nineteenth
-Judical Circuit. Special attontlon given to cot
lectlng. V7nl6m6p
Rt C. MAGRUDER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Cnp-au-Orm, - Missouri.
Will practice In the Court! of the Nlneteenjh
Judicial District. vTnS
W. C. McFARLAND,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Troy, - - Missouri.
Will practice In the Courts of the Nineteenth
Judicial Circuit, and will gire special attention
to collections. ORbe Front room over J. B.
Knox's Bank. vTnlti
CIIAS. MARTIN, J,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Troy, - - jVIissoiiri.
Will practice in all the Courts of the Nine
teenth Judicial Circuit. Special attention given
to the collection of debts. v6n3D
A. V. McKEE. E. N. BONFILS.
IVIcKEE & BO I II,,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Troy, - - . Missouri.
Will practice in tho various Courts of this and
adjoining counties. Special attention given to
collections and matters relating to real estate.
;'0 Office, northeast corner Main and Cherry
streets, just below Latlede Hotel. n3Uv7
J. B. ALLEN, W. T. BAKER.
ALLEN & BARER?
AUorueys-at-Law, Agents Stale aud
Phoenix Insurance Companies,
and Ileal Estate Agents,
TROY, MISSOURI.
JOSEPH B. ALLEN, Notary Public.
apr25--72nl7
B. W. WHEELER.
Attorney at Law and Notary Public,
new HOPE, ITIO.
Will atnn.l tn ortv ti.nfii!nnnl lt,.I.na In ttin
Courts of Lincoln, Warren, Pike and Monlgom-
. t -
cry couniicv. in.uyi
WM FRAZIEK. (! W. COLBERT
EKAZIEIfc &, COLBERT,
Atlorueys at Law & Real Estate As'ls,
TROY, MISSOURI.
Will practice In all tho courts of the Nineteenth
Judicial Circuit, special attention given to col
lections and to the sale and purcbaso and leasing
or real estate, Abstracts ul titles, warranty
deeds, deeds of trust and mortgages mado out
on short notice. Largo number ot valuablo
farms for sale at Ion prices. 'f4J Offico on Main
atrect in HansdcU's building, up stairs. v'nU
IW ATTON & CREECII,
Attorneys at Law & Real Estate Ag'ts,
TROY, JHO.
Will practice In all the Courts of the Nineteenth
Judicial Circuit, and the Supremo Court of the
fitate. All business entrusted to their care will be
promptly attended to. ,
Ohlco over Dr. 6. T. East's Drug stole. Office
bnun from 9 a' in. to i p. m.
vol6n2
LACLEDE HOTEL,
TROY,
THORNHILL & BUSWELL, Propr's.
TIII6 is a first-class hotel, furnished In good
style and Its table supplied with the best the
market affords. Strangers stopping in Troy will
find here all the comforts of home.
The BAR Is stocked wi'h strictly prima Li
quors, such as Brandies, Whiskies, Wines, Ale,
Gin, etc.) also the finest brands of Cigars.
apr25nl7
LUMBER.
A
LAROE SUPPLY OF LUMBER AT
Chain of Bocks, Lincoln Co.
Weatherboarding, Sheeting, Door and Window
frames, clasn, ana uuuatng Material
generally, Address
W. R BROWN,
Junl9inDn25 Chalii of Bock, Mo.
JEHU SYLVESTER
WHOLESALE ASD RETAIL DEALER
t
IN
Watches. Diamonds
FRENCH CLOCKS,
Watch Materials and Tools.
Watches and Jewelry JRepairtd.
KO. tl MIRTH FOURTH STREET
fHeWetn Olive-end Pine Streets)
ST. LOUIS, MO.
Ma . 1872.
ftubter far tfc MEKAUb otljr tl
LINCOLN COUNTY HERALDf.
VOL. 7.
THE BUUIRE'S MISTAKE.
Squire Dudley was in his cardan, null
ing weed io bit patch of tane ttrawbof
ries, on the morning whin he took a
fancy for Ruth Le'a pretty face. She
cams down tho road, looking freth bi a
new blown rose in her plan calico drtts
and itraw hat. Her brown hair, cut
quite thort, blew all about her faee in
little riags, end ber blue eyei aad bright
cheeki made her at pretty a pioture aa one
often see. Squire Dudley eaw ber juit
as eh came opposite the strawberry
patch, and called oat ' Good morning I"
iu his brisk, cheery way.
"O, good morning I sho aaswered.
You almost scared me, Squire Dudley.
I didn't see yeu until yeu spoke."
"Pleasant morning, isn t ill said the
quire coming up to the lence. Kulb
had halted in the road.
It'a beautiful weather," answered
Ruth. "I told mother it was too pleas
ant to stay in deors, and started off on a
visit."
Are your strawberries ripe yet?" said
the squire, wondering that be never had
noticed what a fresh, charming faee
Widow Let's daughter had before.
"(Jur strawberries I laughed Until.
"We haven't eae. Our old rooster cot
in one day about a week ago, and picked
all he could eat, aad then coaxed tbe
hens in, and between them they ruined
our strawberry crop."
"Too bad 1 exclaimed the sympa
thutio squire. "Have seme nf these,
Ruth. They are just ripo enough Ip be
He picked some great clusters of ripe
berries and handed them over the fence
to her.
'Thank you," said Ruth, smiling.
How nice they are. Mother was mak
ing great calculations on her strawberry
jam. olio was terribly vexed wntn en
found out what the bens bad done.
"I've gots lots to spare," said the
quire. "I'll send some over to yeur
mother."
"She'd be much obliged to you," said
Ruth ; "if you have mere than yeu
want"
"Plenty of them," answered the
snntre : "plenty el tbem. tan nave
them just as wtll as not."
I must bo com:, said Kuth.
"Good morning."
"Good morning, returned the squire,
locking after her as she we tit down the
read. "I declare there ain't a prettier
eirl in town than Ruth Lee. I wonder
some of tbe young fellows haven't get
her away from the widow. If I was
younc now "
tauire Dudley stopped suddenly. An
idea had iust flashed across bis brain.
"I'm fifty," he said at last, after think
ins quite brusquely for somo minutes
"I'm fifty, but I don't look it. I don't
see why I shouldn't try my luck after
nil. Girls as young as Ruth marry older
men than I am. I'm sure she'd make
any man a eood wile. Her mother is
one of tho finest women in the state, and
she has brought kcr daughter up to know
hew to werk, and be saving and prudent
I'm sure wo need a good houstkeeptr,
Mrs. Brown, she's old and fussy and
crooked, and this way of living isn't half
living. I do believe I'll marry her, if
ehe'll have me. Maybe Charity 11 scy
it's foolish, but I can't help that."
The squire fell to weeding out his
strawberries again diligently, and kept
thinking about Kuth all tbe while
Long before dinner was ready be had
fully made up bis mind to propose mar
rioco to Ruth and bring hone a new
housekeeper and mistress to the great
bouse whose mistress had been dead for
ten yeara or more, provided, of course,
that Ruth didn't say no, and the squire
thought there wasn't much danger of
that, though, why he should be se sure,
I can't say.
"Don't you think w need a house
keeper?" he said to bis son Charley (hat
afternon, as he sat en the verandah.
The squire evidently saw some new
feature in the landscape, for he kept hit
face turned away from Charley's as be
spoke.
"A housekeeper?" asked Charley.
"We've cot ont. What do we want of
mora. I should like to know?"
"Yes, I know," asseated the squire,
turning red in the face, and beginning to
get a little uneasy; "but Mrs. Brown
isn't ruck a woman as we netd. She
doesn't take any interest in the work as
si a woman would woo nau more
interest in it."
After whioh extremely logical argu
ment the squire got more fidgetty than
ever.
"I understand that, answered Char
ley, "if ike had a personal interest in
the place, and in being pruuem sun
keeping things up, ihe'd do better than
aha does new. Now she cits her pay
for her work, and that is all she cares
for. It all we can expect of nir.
"Jnit io." laid the squire, glad to
know that Charley agreed with him eo
fkt. "I've been thinking this morning
that the best thing I could do would be
to get some en who would take a per
tonal interest la matters. I don't see as
you intend to get married, and if you
won't, I don't know but I'd better."
The squire breathed enter.
aarat cart was aVaf with.
"You get muried 1" exclaimed Char
ley, ia iattnie aurpriie. "Why, I didn't
know that yon ever wougm oi -
kni T haven't till tail miTOinK,"
ejaimed tbe tquire. "I got to thinking
nut it this morntna-. and the or I
thought about it the-more I thought it
gooa pti. " J -r-
(inn. 7"
"Of cent asi" &tiMd! 'i&aiky.
TROY, MO., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1872.
"You can do aa you think best. If yoa
deem it advisable to get a wife, I have
nothing to aay further than the hope that
yeu will get some one who will make yeu
nappy.
she will," said the squire vert de
cidedly, "she will, I am sure."
"May I ask who it is to be I in
quired Charley.
"1 haven t asked her yet, answered
the squire, as red as a rose. "I'd rather
wait until I'm sure of her before I tell
you who it is. She might say no, you
see, and I should feel rathor oheap,"
l'rudent bquiro Dudley, that after
noon he picked a panful of bis finest
strawberries, and directly after tea started
across lots in the direction of Mrs. Leo's,
with the berries en his arm. It was
dusk before he got to the widow's' for he
walked alowly. He had very busy
thoughts for company. 'Ho was wonder
ing what it were best to do. Should he
propose at once to Kuth or should he see
her mother first, end talk with her? He
concluded that the last was the wisest
plan, As he opened tho gute noiselessly,
he heard voicrs in tho other corner ol
the gardcu, and stopped a moment to find
out if it was the widow and her daughter.
"I never had any idea of it before,
said a voice, which he recognized as
Charloy s ; "not tbe least in the werld
He said he hadn t thought anythui!
about it until to day. I couldn't find
out who he had in view. I hopo it isn t
old Miss Sharp. She'd like to get some
body."
I be squire burst into a profuse perspi
ration at the idea of having Miss bhurp
for a wife.
"lie says he didn't tea as I ever in
tended to get married," went on Charley
1 diuu t tell htm 1 had got me a wile
picked out, but I wauled to. I um sure
he would approve my (ante in making u
selection.
'What nonsense I" laughed a clear,
pleasant voice ; Kuth'a voice, tho squire
knew, the moment he beard it. "If 1
am going to bo your wife I want you to
quit laughing at me in that sly way, pre
tending you ure nattering me all toe
time."
"His wife I Good gracious I"
Tbe squire was eo taken by surprise
that be caese near dropping bis struw-
berriet. So it was all settled between
them. And he had como near proposing
to his son's intended wife. He felt cold
all over at the thought or it. How
lucky that ho did not take Charley into
his confidence, and tell him who he had
concluded to murry.
"I declare," exclaimed the squire,
"I ve made a mistake this time, sure
eneueh. 'the rascal got the start of me
I'd like to know what I'm to do? I've
told him tliut I intended to get married,
and if I don't he'll likely as net mistrust
something. Dear me I
Tbe squire was in trouble. Another
bright thought occurred to him, There
was the widow. After all, she would he
more suitable for him than Ruth would
have been. She was somewhere near his
own age. A fine woman. A smart
woman. Sho would make a fine mistress
for his empty house. Why shouldn't lie
marry her, since he could not bavo tho
daughter I
"l II do it, exclaimed the squire,
bound to go through with the matter
sinee he ..ad got so tar. "I II do it.
lie knocked. The door was opened
by tbe widow, round cheeked, rosy and
smiling.
"Why, Squire Dudley I Good even
ing," she exclaimed. "I hardly knew
yoa at first, you haven't been here
in so long. Come in; take this rockiu;'
chair, and let me take your bat.
The widow bustled about and got tbe
quiro a chair and deposited bis bat on
the table bufore be happened to think of
bis basket.
"Ob I Ruth teld me your strawberry
crop bnd proved a failure, so I though
I'd run over and bring -you a fww
Strawberry short caka don't go bad this
time of year.
" m a thousand timet obliged te you,
said the widow, taking tbe basket.
was so provoked t9 think the hens should
spoil mine, ouch a nice lot aa i would
havt had."
If you waot any preserves, come ovc
and net 'em," eaid Ibe squire. "We've
plenty of em, Mrs. lirown sbe won t
do anything with 'em except as wo use
them io tbe season of tbem, 1 suppose.
I want to knowl exclaimed tu
widow. "You ought to have them done
up. 1 hey re eo nice in tne winter.
would like to get seme lor jam : and it
Mrs. Brown went take care tf them, I'll
do them up on tbe shares.
"I wish yon would," eaid the squire
Things are all goiog to wreck aud ruin
about my place. 'Taint to be expected
a hired woman will take any interest in
affairs ; and here he eighed deeply.
"No ; that's eo."
It was strange that the iquire had not
found out how thince were Kiiog to
wreck and ruin before. Mrs. lirown ba
been there ever sine Mre. Dudley died
Tbe squire and tbe widow kept p
very brisk conversation, and at the and
of an hour ba was more deeply ia lave
with her thaa her daughter, and began
t wonder how he had been io blind ai U
overlook euoh a delightful wernaa foe i
Ions. '
Bv-aod-by the widow buttled out, aa
presently returned with a piteher ot last
year liuer aoa a piaie or caite.
"Da have tomtthing t eat and drink,
nrgtt the widow. "If I'd known you
erara eaminz I d have mad a cherry pie
I remember you ased to lik my ebervy
mas."
"I I with you'd cm and soak
therrv nies far as all your life," blurted
at ' tfcj tquire, tujaing nvg tJ i tba
face again. "I I eame dwn toatk you
to marrv me. Mrs. Lie."
After which mnocont iamnood tbe
quire felt decidedly reliuved.
1 am sure1 i d as net marry you at
.. ... , i .
ny man, answered tne wioew, uniming,
nd looking us pretty as a rose.
It s all settled then, cried tbe uc-
shttd squire, and kissed her plump en
the lips just at the door opened and
Charley and Ruth eame in.
"Allow me to make yeu acquainted
ith my new hoii'okocper," said the
quire, bowing very low to hide his red
ace.
And allow me to present my wife
that is to be," answered Charley. "You
take the mother and I'll take the daugh
ter."
I am happy to aay that, undor the
new admiatstratiuD, tntags are no
onger going to wreck and ruin.
Tbe Lash in England.
A liondon correspondent of the Dub
i Freeman's Journal, writing of date
eptember 17th, says : Two young men
convicted of robbery with violence, had
duunistared to them thin morning n cas
tration which mast forever have settled
n the minus of those who witnessed it
the moot question, whether corporal pun
ishtnent really acts as a dtterrent to
rime, bo fur as the culprits themselves
are concerned, it is mere than prpbable
that they will never again run the risk of
:icing plnced at the mercy of a couple of
stout warders and a nine tailed cat ; and
s ta their friends in crime, were they to
wittiens the manner in which tho punish
ment is borne by the most hardened of
their fellow-ruffians, a salutary effect
would no douht be produced upon thtir
minds lor some time to come, t'atiiel
Duffy, it young fellow eighteen years of
ge, was first placed on tho grating to
ti'icrtro that portion ef lm s:nlcnuo
which must have been harder to bear
than the whole seven years' ptnal mm
tude which are te follow. To the unini
tiated twenty-fivo lashes do not appear a
very severe sentence, but when one wit
nesses the effect nf each stroke upon the
back of each man, the fearful crios of
gony wrung from him each time tho cat.
wielded by the practiced arm ol a power
ful warder, comes whizzing upon his
boulders, it naturally occurs tn the
mind that tho matter ought to be venti
lated as freely us possible, in order that
garrotters iu general may bo mnde aware
f the treat in store lor them within the
wulN of Ncwguto. Duffy when brought
nto tho room, cast a nervous glance at the
two wardens, with their sleeves stripped
up ready for action, and without a word
submitted to be fastened, hand and loot.
At tho first stroko his courage failed,
and from that time until the whole
twenty five lushes had been administered,
he kept up a continuous scream ot agony,
occasionally crying, "Have mercy, doctor,
I m being murdered, Yt lion released,
his baek, from the shoulders nearly to
his belt, was one ma's of livid flesh, and
he was unable to walk to his coll without
asststence. 1 he second victim was n
young fellow twenty years of age, named
Jolwi lulbout, who, at Maidstone, on tbe
22d of July, held a laboring man named
L'ritch'ird by the throat, whilst two other
men robbed him of a few halt pence, ka.
the tentenco in bis caso was thirty
ashes and seven yoart' penal servitude.
l ulbout, a stronger man than Duffy, from
the determined manner exhibited when
breught from his cell, btlievtd that his
oouruuc was suthciont to carry nim
through the ordeal, the nature of which
he mistook. As the first stroke was laid
on a suppressed groan csctped his lips,
accompanied by a start of surprise, hut
he drew himself upright and throw I
shoulderblades back together to prefect
bis spine, fcroiu the beginning to the
end, however, he never uttered a word,
although his back was more severely lac
erated than Duffy's, tbe skin being broken
in several places; and when released, he
deelind the proffered assistance of the
warders to dress, and quietly wulkod
from the room to bis, cell, assuming the
same defiant air with whioh he bad en
lered, although it was evident from the
uneaty motion and discolored back that
the punishment was such as will be re
numbered to' the end of his' life. The
tentenees were carried out in tbe prea
ence of Sir John Bennett, the sheriff, Mr.
Beard, the under sheriff, Mr. Gibson, the
surgeon, and representatives of tbe press
Chlcag Iteillvfus.
The recovery f Chicago from her
great calamity of October last has been
much more rapid than the prophets fore
saw. There is something actually start
line in the magical transformations that
bav takea place, converting acres of
ashy waste int freth thorougbtaret mag
ntucently lined with commercial blocks
and stately reiidences. There were those
who imagined that Chicago herself had
ptrtthid in the Trigbttul oonnagra
tion; that tbe tweep f flam had eoa
turned ber very identity. There war
othtrt who conceded that the were of
ttttorttion would be finally accomplitbod,
but that it would itretcn over another
eeneratien to do it. Still other, uior
tanguioe, felt that tha city would' be
rebuilt in fiv r ten yean, parhipi.
But lo, toi beheld I A tiagle twelve
month bae nice than half effected the
grand eeniummatioa, an building ag
gregating in oett over forty-fiv Million
of dollars ba beta reared wpn th
field of deto'attn, and itand a uebla
monumtats to an anconquertbla energy
and enttrpriia. Tb nr C hie age will
far auUtrip the aid in point f iplendor,
aisivenats and thrift'; and it should be
a metur of ooitmoB oetigratulatlou te
all paopla.
NO. 44.
Ueaiiig Sick-rooms.
Whir the entira dwelling is heated
by a furnace, or by steam, it will, proba
bly be unnecessary to have other means
of warming the sick-reem ; but the fire
place should be always open, and k'ept
ready for a wood or, coal fire whenever
the patient should exprtit a dtsirt ter
one The hreplaaes are excellent venti
lating flues oven without a fire, but are
nearly ptrfect when tupplitd with a
wood fire, tbrbritk blaze of which cre
ates a strong ascending current, and con
tinually carrie off the ever accumulating
exhalations of tho sick-reom.
If there it no fireplace, a window
optntd a short dittanco from the room in
which the patient is lying, and on let
down from the top ia the thr large
room, with the doors opened between
the two, will form aa effectual draught
during anjr but the warm dayi of summer,
and will not be too ttrong for tho most
delicate patient who is proteoted from
the direct draught by the high head
board of tbe bed. In cold weather the
window opened from the bottom will often
be found sufficient. On very cold days
we may trust to an entire chnngo ot air
several times esch day, effected by raiting
all the windows far u few momenta at a
time, during which the patient mutt bo
thoroughly protected by oxtra blankets,
and a shawl about the head.
If stoves are tbe only means of heating
the apartments, a "perpetual burner"
(ceal) may be used in ono room to keep
both at an even temperature, during day
and night, but the sleeping room should
be provided with a wood stove ; tbe
brisk blaze in this answoring to seme
extent the purpose of a fire in an open
fireplace.
Many lives have beon cut short by ex
agseratcd notions in regard to fresh air.
Air must be pure, but it should also be
warm. To effect this there should be,
day and night, a steady but gentle heat
in the room of an invalid, accompanied
by an equally steady and gentle current
ot Ireeh atr. Home and society, in
Seribner s for November.
John Hull's Wild Turkey.
From tho Kansas City Times.
Jack and Jim are two jolly good na
turcd Enclishnien who have recently ar
rived in Kansas City from the great city
of the world, London. They have other
names, of course, and are bocoming well-
known in this city as akilllul, honest
mechanics, but as their identity matters
nothing to our readers, and the pubhea
ion ot this incident might cause both
some little embarrassment, their names
are withheld, but that will not spoil the
interest or the incident.
Soon after the arrival of this jolly
pair ot J!.oglisbmen in this city tbey
went to work digging sand upon sbep
pari s Island. Uno day while digging
away industriously upon the island,
Jack espied a huge blackbird flying close
to tbe island and finally alighted not
more than three hundred yards freni
their sand pile.
i'illol said Jack, "wots that ere,
Jim ?"
Dunne Jack, unless ils a turkey."
Gimme me gua, Jim, and bi'll try me
hand on it. I could hit a good mark
while I was on tho Crimea.
Jack seized his gun, a regular Stubbs
fwist, which he had brought with him
from London, as h stated to our re
porter, in anticipation of killing all the
gume h might want with out fear of
game law, or being taken up aa a
poacher. Taking a fair aim, Jack fired,
and down came bis turkey, a fine fat
monster, weighing sixteen er eighteen
pounds. Jack dragged hit priz t tb
abore, and crossed with him aver to
town ; they would do no more work that
day no, not they indeed. Jaek shoal
dered his prize, and walked proudly past
the gas workt and neur mills, never
noticing the surprise manifested by thos
who met him and his partner. Jack
bucamo prouder as they nearcd borne,
and still mare proud was he when he
walked up to Nancy, and, throwing his
huge, bronzed, black turkey upon the
floor, said :
"There, Nance, take that bird and
reatt it for dinner. Send fer Misses
Brown 'and Misses' Grayberth, and have
them show. hew to snake a real Hamerican
turkoy roast and invite hem to dinner."
"I.a, Jaek, how will 'I cltan the great
thing? bit has big as han htagle."
"Never thou mind misses, eres Jim,
e'll clean it; you just git up the trim
mins, I'll go fer th bttr."
Nanoy prcedd to prepare th trim
mings. A bit ef btef, a bit of cheese, a
lot of potatee and ether adjunct to an
English dinner were duly prepared.
Jack proceeded proudly down town for
beer.
MissuR Brown and Missus Grayberth
were both duly invited aad idi arrived
ia stately dignity, eaob having looked
iheir children up at bona.
About ten o'olook Jack returaeel home,
and after dtpesitiag the beer started ut
in lb yard t see bow Jim bad got on
with cleaning tb turky, H feund
that highly rstpatttd individual deeply
immerted in a brawn study Tbe deep
est London fog in Novanibtr wti attaint
to th dentity of Jim' perplexity.
"Say, Jack,'1 aaid .Jim selemaly,
'hi'u tlasUd if I vr ittd eich a turkey;
It' has blue ha a bilberry, and watt on
hall bit got a gizzard."
Jack miaei tha bird rfuHy, but
found it just aa atatad fay kit partotr.
Tbe bluo oolar of tha ant he ascribed
to, th gavey character of tha bird. Tb
lack of grinding apparatus its tbt Interior
oi tu mrav was nominal io mv. ,"
bird wai slot in to the taitsu, and after
being duly Jtuffcd and lr&4 wa yU4
ia tba oven to rtail
TERHM OV ADVERTISING.
One Sqaare (ib l!nes)br'lest,on iftlertloiiU.fl' l
Each additional insertion .. 71
Administrators' Notice 3 00
Final Settlement Notices .'. 3 00
Stray N attest (slnglo stray) -?3 00
Each additional stray In same notice 1 00
fiO" A Liberal Deduction will be made to
yearly advertisers,
At dinner time the company sat down
to dinner. Jack, at proud as ever baron
felt when at head f festive board after
successful boar bunt, sat at head of table,
Missus Brown upon his right and Missus ,
Grayberth upon, bis left, Jim at .the foot
of the tabic with a vacant place for
Nancy. " ,-
"Bring on the turkey, missus," said
Jack.
In came Naacy, with her nose elevated
and an unmistakable look of disgust upon
ber red face.
"Jack," laid Nancy, dpondingly,
"hi've cooked this 'era wild turkey a
well as Ht can, and hit s tough at hover,
to Hi juit thought I'd cook mcself a bit
of boef. I dou't think I loik turkey."
The turkey, nicely!browoed, wti placed
upon the table. Jack proceeded to tcrvo
tbe ladies, and succeeded in breaking a
carving knife in his attempts to dissect
the bird. Mrs. Brown wai duly served
with n limb, and Mra. Grayberth with a
small piece of the breast, and the dinner
proceeded, when the strong perfum
from the bird became a matter ef com
ment. No one could accoutt lor it. it
was lo very peculiar, to. Just at this
time one ol Jacks friende stepped id, ana
was invited to sit dowa and take soma
turkey.
"No, thankee, Jaek, I'm not a bit
hungry for turkey, speohly if it'a that
tuikey you had en your shoulder this
morning."
"Why wot up with the turkey? I
killed it," said Jack, proudly.
les, but it wai more than a turkey
you killed. It was a turkey buzzard, and
1 don t lik it. for dinner.
Tim chnmclnr of the bird was then
explained to the .dinner party, when, it is
almost needless to add, tbe dinner wan
udjournod, for that day at least. All
were taken sick with tho exception, or
Nance, who coutentedly solaced herself
with her "bit of bef."
If any ono desires to engage in a fight,
just let him say turkey to Jack or Jim,
and tbey can huvu a tight instanter.
Why Don't You Respond T
Old Judge W., of , in tho. Old
Dominion, is a character. He was a
lawyer, legislator, judge, and loading
politician among old time Whigs of
blessed memory; but, alas! like them,
his glory departed, and, like many other
of his conlreres, has gone were the
wood-bine twineth. Notwithstanding
tbe loss of property, and the too free
use of apple-jack, ho maintained tho
dignity of ex-judge, dressed neatly, otr
ried a gold-headed cane, and when ha
had taken more than hit utual allowance
of the favorite beverage, he wai vary
pious, at such times always attending
cburcb, and sitting near tbe stand as
ercatly as circumstances would admit,
and responding fervently.
On one occasion a Baptist brother wa
holding forth with energy and unction
on tho evils of the times, and in one of
his flights exclaimed :
"Show m a drunkard I
Tho Judge areie to his feat, and un
steadily balancing himself on his caae,
taid solemnly.
"Here I am, nr, bera I am.
The elder, though a good deal non
plussed by the nnexpected response, man
aged to go en with the discourse, and,
warming up to his wotk, again called
out :
"Show me a hypoorite I Shew me a
hypocritol Show me a hypocrite !"
Judge W., again arose, and reached
forward across a seat which iatervened,
touched Deacon D., on the shoulder with
bis cane, and eaid :
"Deacon D., why don't you respond,
sir, why dn't you respond ? I did when
ho called me l
A gentleman. called tb othr day on
on ef our physicians, who' is something
of ajaker, and said he had tha head
ache, backache, earaoh and tootkaehe,
and besides, didn't feel very well himself.'
"I think, said tbe doctor, "that you
have an affection ia tha lumber reglan."
"What caused it, doctor?" "Bad board,"
was.th britfreply.
A Texan tells this stery of losi op
portunities : "Now, you see' said ha,
"land was oheep enough at on tin in
Texas. I have seen tha day when I
could have bought a square league of
land, covered with fine grass and timber,
for pair of boots." And why didn't
you buy it?" asked hi companion.
"Didn't have tha beoti," ttid the Txa.
A farmer in Cnnectint te said to have
contrived aa iaferaal machine for the
destruction of orows, in tbe sbsp of a
kernel of corn which explodes on beins;
pioked up by tbe unsuspeoting bird, aad
blow bii "duraed eturoal bead off"
without tbe (lightest warning.
A young man of Paw Paw, Miohigaa,
now geti $1,200 a year for teaching in a
tehool whr he got 83, 50 a weak for
tweepiag out four yean ago.
A Inar report The crack of dooa.
Power of il A powr of attorn.
"Ko! Oyl lixty eat gal," it a Ma
con, Georgia, iig.
Tb eaoiquttv, aia puklio linger, draw
ll, bnt nvr glvt latiifattioa.
TO TEACHERS.
NOtlOB Is hereby given that tho'andbrstgncd,
Superintendent ot publlo schools of Llncclii
county, Mo., still, in aooordanco with the school
law of the State, hold publlo examination f
teachers, on tbe lit Saturday f .every auontb, ur
tb court housetii Troy, and on those days only.
I'eacbers will please bear this in alad. . 4
W.S. FKNNItrU'fON.Siip't Public Sohoole
jflUnJt 4iocol uty, Jo,
