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THE TIMES, NEW IILOOMEIELD, 1A NOVEMUEll G, 1877.
How 1 Courted Juno Sutnniprlleld.
NUimi.ESTOWN wbb in a state of
excitement when I arrived in that
okl village; and well might It he in a
state of excitement, fori flatter myself
that Mich a young man, with such a dis
tinguished air, hadn't set foot in her
streets for over a dozen years.
I was exactly twenty-five the morning
I arrived In Nuhhlestown. I had stud
ied law, and had heen admitted to prac
tice in the several courts of the county
of 11 . I had studied hard, and I felt
that I needed rest and relaxation, and I
went to Nuhhlestown to find it. I had
one hundred dollars in my pocket, and I
intended to spread myself on that one
hundred dollars, and show the NuhMes
towners, and the rest of mankind also,
that I was somehody, and that I knew 1
was somebody. i
There are some great men In the world,
but they don't show their greatness. I
have always set such folks down as
geese of the purest and truest kind.
They should do as I do. I know I am
considerable abovo the common level,
and I am sharp enough to let the world
see It. I never thought It right to hide
my light under a bushel.
My name Is William Ihigglebones. I
registered my name at theNubblcstown
hotel, and the people stared. They
knew a great man had arrived ; and
when I passed along the streets, pretty
female faces peeped from behind blinds,
and men stopped on their winding way
to the sea and turned around and gazed.
I knew I was a lion before I had been in
the town twenty-four hours. I came to
the town with the intention of being
lionized, and I felt that I was going to
I had only been in town three days
when I was invited to a party at the
Hon. Hobson's. I might remark, that
Hobson had been to the State Legisla
ture three times, and had made a prince
ly fortune in oil stocks. Hobson was a
big gun, and I believe, until this day,
that he made that party for the sole pur
pose of having his daughter introduced
to me. Hobson's head was level, and
he knew at a glance that I was a great
man, and that I was destined to make a
noise in the world.
I went to the party, of course, but I
didn't like Miss Hobson. I could not
abide her. She was uncultivated, she
was even rude. I could see, at half a
glance, that she had never moved In
good society, and was not tit to associate
with me. I could never love her. I
couldn't even like her. I felt obliged to
the Hon. gentleman for his high opiti
. ion of nie, but at the same time I felt
that it would be utterly useless for him
to attempt to make a match between his
uncultivated daughter and myself, I felt
I have always said that when I mar
ried I would marry a woman who was
accomplished and had plenty of money.
I knew I could do it, for I was good
looking ; more than that I was hand-
l some, and then I was smart. In all my
range of acquaintances. I don't know a
young man who is as intelligent as I am
myself. My father always thought I
was exceedingly sharp, and my mother
always agreed with him. Dozens of
young ladies had been in love with me.
Allie Lane and Susie Dean and Jennie
Fitzroy had been almost wild about me,
but I didn't care a fig about them. I
was determined that I wouldn't marry
until I found one who was both wealthy
and accomplished. Thus far I had nev
er met one who possessed both the re
quirements. If I found one who was
wealthy, she wasn't accomplished; and
if I found one who was accomplished,
she wasn't wealthy ; and so I had gone
on until my twenty-fifth year. I didn't
Annie Hobson was an only child,aud
her father was worth a hundred and
fifty thousand, but the idea of marry
ing her horror! I couldn't think of it.
At the Hobson party there was an
other lady a cousin of Annie's. Oh,
how shall I describe her Y In the lan
guage of the poet, " she was as beauti
ful as a butterfly." As soon as I saw
her I felt a goneness. I bowed at the
shrine I knelt I went up I I felt that
I must marry this woman. I felt that I
had met my destiny, and that I would
have her even if she han't five thousand
dollars to her name. I knew I loved her
as I would never, no never no, never
not muchly, love again 1
We were introduced at the party, I
exerted myself to fascinate, and before
the ball broke and before the fiddles were
unstrung, and the mazy windings had
stopped their winding. I felt that I had
fascinated. The conquest was sure.
The lady's name was Jane Summer
field. I made some inquiries the next
day, and I ascertained that the lady was
worth half a million. My cup of joy
seemed full, and about to jibble over.
Annie Hobson had only a paltry hun
dred and fifty thousand, whilst Jan6
Summerfield waa worth half a million.
From morning until night, and from
night until morning I kept telling my.
self to think of that. ,
Mr. Summerfield had never been to
the State Legislature, but he was a
sharper man than the Honorable Hob
son. He could drive a sharper bargain
than the H. It., and he had been more
successful In oil speculations.
Everything was beautiful, and I set
sails, fully determined to go into the
One day I sat on the porch of the
Nuhhlestown hotel, and dreamed a day
dream. I thought of Jane of her soft
brown eyes and her mellow curls. I
thought of the good time coming, when
the half million should be in my hands
and the angello Jane in my arms. I
loved to sit thus, and dream all day
about Jane and then I loved to go to
bed and dream all night about Jane. I
dreamed often of the crested head rest
ing on my bosom and the mellow curls
rippling o'er my arm.
As I said before, 1 sat one day and
dreamed about Jane, when Jake Cham
bers came along and laid a sounding Blap
on my shoulder.
I had set Jake down as a Jolly good
fellow. He was the leading young man
in Nuhhlestown, and all at once he
seemed to take a fancy to me. I sup
posed he had seen that 1 was above the
common level, and wanted to lionize
me; butaiasl I was deceived I How
desperately deceitful is the heart of man,
when it takes a notion to be that way I
Jake came up to me ; lie slapped me
on the shoulder, and then he spoke:
" Hello, Bill ; not asleep, are you V"
"Not quite," said I ; "sit down, I
want to talk to you."
Jake Bat down as I requested, and
then I went on :
"Jake," said I, " you're a good fellow,
and I want to make a confidante of
" Go ahead," briefly responded Jake.
"I'm in love."
" The deuce you are," said Jake ; " I
am in the same box."
"Ah, Indeed! Well, I love Jane
"The dickens!" exclaimed Jake,
springing into the upper air of the
porch. " You don't say so V"
"Yes, I do; why not V Are you in
" Why no yes that is . Well,
Billy, I'll give all up to you. You are a
city chap, and win her. She's half-dead
about you already. You can hang up
your hat at old Suuimerlield's, and no
mistake. I have been rather soft out
that way, but I'll step out of the road,
and give you a clean sweep."
" Why, Jake," exclaimed I, grasping
ills hand, " you're a glorious fellow. Of
coursoyou couldn't Buccced when I'm
around, but I like you for giving up bo
quietly. I'll have you for my second
best; see if I don't!"
" All right," said Jake, and lie went
down the, porch-steps, looking, as I
thought, sort of sorrowful. I have rea
son now to believe that he wa9 only
snickering in his sleeve.
I courted Jane dreadfully for two
months, and, at the end of that time,
I came to the conclusion that I might
as well go for her, and tell her how
Bweepingly I loved her, and take her to
my heart, and keep her there and call
her by the sweetish name of wife.
I called one evening. That evening
Jane was all one broad smile. She knew
that on this evening I was going to
pitch the important interrogation at
her, and she smiled and looked pleased
as I thought, in happy anticipation. I
little imagined that the smiles arose
from the anticipation of some rascally
fun at my expense. The women are a
mean, wicked, deceitful, cowardly,
black-hearted set, and I hate them,
every one ; but, particularly do I hate
the Nuhhlestown woman.
As I said before, Jane knew that on
this evening I would propose the im
portant question. The reader may won
der at this, and I will just explain that,
like the members of Congress, I gave
notice beforehand when I intended to
perform some important act. Two days
previous I had called on Jane, and gave
her to understand that, when next I
walked her father's marble halls, and
sat beside her on her father's sofa, I'd
ask her to be my wife and get knotted
with me in the tie which somebody de
nominates silken. Had I known what
was in store for me, I would have given
no notice whatever, and then perhaps, I
would have avoided the dreadful ca
lamity. I might as well tell It here as any
where else, that th Summerfields had a
servant girl, who rejoices in the name
of Ann Hayes, and who had taken a
dreadful dislike to me. She said that I
was nothing but a stuck-up city dandy,
who didn't know B from a cow's foot,
and that I ought to be tarred and feath
ered, and rode on a sharp rail through
the main street of the town. The girl
disliked me simply because I didn't no
tice her on the street, and because on
two or three occasions, when visiting at
Summerlleld'g I had turned up my
olfactory organ at her, and uttered a sin
gle," Phew!" ;. ,
I called according to arrangement, and
our last evening's courting commenced.
Of course, the lamp which flamed on
the table In the earlier part of the eve
ning was turned down, and of course it
was turned down by ine. I wondered
some at this, for on previous occasions
Jane had only allowed the lamp to be
turned very low, so as to make a soft,
darkish sort of a light In the room.
I commenced to speak, hut I had ut
tered only a few words when Jane asked
to he excused, telling me she would be
back in a few moments. She went out.
The room was pitch dark. 1 heard the
door open and shut, and heard her glide
along the hall. 1 sat with my thoughts,
and looked forward to the time when I
should he the happy possessor of Jano
and her half million. But I did not sit
long. A step sounded In the hall, and,
as I believed, Jane came in.
I might as well let the cutout of the
hug here, and tell the reader that, Instead
of Jane coming In again, she sent the
servant girl, Ann Hayes, to receive my
caresses and my proposal. My blood
bolls even to this day when I think how
awfully I have been made the dupe of a
few unsophisticated country girls.
The room was dark, and how should
I know whether Ann Hayes of Jane
Suininerllcld received my embrace.
1 commenced my proposal. I made a
poetical speech. I had spent a great
deal of time on it, for I was determined
It should be a stunner; and then to
think It was all delivered in the cars of
a hireling. Isn't It agonizing V
When I look back now I can remem
ber that the Jane who came in seemed
somewhat more robust than tho Jane
who went out ; but how could I be ex
pected to suspect that there was any
thing wrong, or that there was a deep,
black, damnable plot laid to ruin me
forever and ever in the eyes of the Nuh
hlestown people f
I can remember, too, that Jane's voice
Beemed to have slightly changed, hut I
attributed It all to agitation. Of course
any woman would bo agitated on such
an occasion, and, when I prepared my
proposal speech, I believed Jane would
bo particularly and peculiarly agitated
at the time when I should pour it in
soft whispers into her listening ears.
When I closed, and when the sweet, soft
"yes" fell from her sweet, soft lips, I at
tributed the strangeness of voice solely
When the low-bred hireling uttered
the word " Yes," I, for once, was a hap
py man. I told her she should never
lift a hand to do a stroke of work no
never I She should be the angel of my
brown stone front, and the reigning
belle of the city. She should be the
Itose of Sharon the North Star of
my existence the North Pole of the
If the earth had opened her mouth
and yawned as if she intended to swal
low me, I could not have been more
astonished than I was when the hire
ling jumped up, clapped her hands and
shouted, in her natural voice:
"Bully for you!"
I was thunderstruck and was light
ningstruck, and was crushed to the
shape of a small sized atom. AVhat did
it mean ? Who was it 'i Where was I?
Who had a match V These were the
questions that, for the moment, bowled
and howled through my soul. But I
wasn't long in suspense. The door
opened, and Jane appeared with a blaz
ing lamp in her hand. The situation
could be viewed, and the strategy was
apparent. Behind Jane stood Annie
Hobson and Jake Chambers. I took it
all in as one wild, pealing laugh came
from the four throats, and then I wilted
and expired. ' I rushed hatless from the
house, and walked the streets and raved
until daybreak, and then I went to bed.
I rose at noon, and, on going out, I
found a broad grin on the whole town.
It was all out then. I shut my eyes
and ears, and rushed away. It would
have killed me if I had staid an hour.
Two years have passed. I have put
huudreds of miles between me and Nuh
hlestown, and I have, in a measure, re
covered from the awful shock.
I will just add that Jane Summerfield
and Jake Chambers planned the cow
ardly affair. They are married now.
May they always be miserable.
THE TWO BILLS A FABLE.
TWO bills wero waiting in the bank
for their turn to go out into the
world. One was a little bill only one
dollar ; the other was a big bill a thousand-dollar
bill. While lying there Bide
by side they fell a-talking about their
usefulness. The dollar hill murmured
" Ah, if I wore as big as you, what
good I would do. I could move iu such
high places, and people would be so care
ful of me wherever I should go. Every,
body would admire and want to take me
home with them, hut small as I am,
what good can I do? Nobody cares
much for me; lam too little to be of
"Ah, yes, that is so," said the thousand-dollar
bill ; aud it haughtily gather
ed up its well trimmed edges that wero
lying next to the little bill in conscious
" That is 80,' it repeated. " If you
were as great as I am-a thousand times
bigger than you are-then you might
hope to do gome good in the world."
And its fuce smiled into a wrinkle of
contempt for the little dollar bill.
J ust then the cashier comes, takes the
little murmuring bill and kindly gives it
to a poor widow.
"God bless you!" sho cries as with a
smiling face Bhe receives it. " My dear
hungry children can now have some
A thrill of Joy ran through the little
bill as It was folded up in the widow's
hand, and it whispered :
" I may do some good, If I am small."
And when it saw the bright faces of
the fatherless children It was very glad
It could do a little good.
Then the little dollar bill began its
Journey of usefulness. It went first to
the baker for bread ; then to the miller ;
then to the farmer ; then to the doctor;
then to the minister; and wherever It
went, It gave pleasure, adding some
thing to their comfort and Joy.
At last after a long, long pilgrimage of
usefulness among every sort of people, it
came back to the hank again crumpled,
defaced, ragged, softened by its daily
use. Seeing the thousand-dollar bill
lying there with scarcely a wrinkle or a
linger mark upon it, it exclaimed :
"Pray, sir, and what has been your
mission of usefulness V"
The big bill sadly replied ;
" I have been from safe to safe among
the rich, where few could see me, and
they were afraid to let me go out far, lest
I be lost. Few indeed are they whom I
have made happy by my mission."
The little dollar bill said :
" It is better to bo small and go among
multitudes doing good than to be so
great as to be Imprisoned in the safes of
And It rested satisfied with its lot.
Moral : The doing of little every-day
duties makes one the most useful and
Bread Crusts in Paris.
"What becomes of the old moons V"
AVhat becomes of the old crusts of bread
in Paris?" asks the Figaro, and then
tells of their transformation. The
boulamjer cm vleux, freely translated,
" baker of the old," utilizes the dry,
damaged and abandoned bread. He
gathers the crusts in boarding-houses,
convents and hotels. These morsels,
covered with sand, stained with ink,
and often picked from heaps of refuse,
are sold by servants to the " Baker of
Old," who turns them into new prepa
rations. The merchandise is first sorted
out. The fragments which are judged
to be still In a presentable condition, are
dried in an oven and form croutcs au
pot, which are used up in soup at low
class restaurants. Almost all the lozenge
shaped crusts served in dishes of vege
tables have this origin. The crumbs
and defective crusts are pounded in a
mortar until they become a white paste
which butchers use to adorn cutlets. All
the material that appears absolutely in
capable of further service is then roasted
reduced to charcoal, ground Into powder
aud, by the addition of a few drop3 of
essence of mint, is converted into a
tooth paste. Such' is one of the meta
morphoses of Tarlsian industry.
In many schools there is a great
eagerness to get on, and little care about
tho first elements of study. But so
learned a scholar as Edward Everett,
declares that first principles are the im
portant ones. He says:
" To read the English language well,
to write with despatch a neat, legible
hand, and be master of the first four
rules of arithmetic, so as to dispose of
at once, with accuracy, every question
in figures which comes up in practice I
call this a good education. And if you
add the ability to write pure grammati
cal English, I regard it as an excellent
education. These are the tools. You
can do much with them, but helpless
without .them. They are the founda
tion; and unless you begin with these,
all your flashy attainments, a little
geology, and other ologles and osophies,
are ostentatious rubbish."
COT A good old farmer found himself
one day with his hired boy at the far
ther end of the row, when the dinner
horn sounded. Anxious to make every
step count, he commenced to hoe his
way back, saying to the boy as he did so.
" Thomas, do you ever think about
" Yes," said Tom, " I think I shall die
pretty soon, if I don't have some din
ner!" "Well! well!" said the old man,
dropping his hoe, "I think we'll go
ETA widow in New York, while pe
rusing the family Bible the other day,
came upon a note given in favor of her
husband some two years previous. She
sued the maker of the note, and was
awarded over $400 for obeying the in
junction : "Search the Scriptures."
REV. J. 1. LUDL'lW WHITES !
ITS Baltic Street, Hhooki.th. N. Y i
,. .Nov. 14, 1874. I
II. R. Rtrvknr. Enq.
Dear Ntr : From personal benefits received bv
Its use, as well as rrnm pi'isoiml knowledge of
those whose cures thereby Imve seemed almost
miraculous. 1 can most heartily nud sincerely
recommend the VKMKTlNK for the complaints;
which It Is claimed to cure. JAM KH I'. LUDLOW,
Late 1'aslur Calvary Babtlst Church,
RHE RESTS WELL
' South Poland, Ma, Oct. 11, 187(1.
Ma. II. R. Stevens.
I'enr Mr: I have been sick two years with
the liver complaint, and durliiR that time have
taken a great many different medicines, hut none
of them did me any good. 1 was reMless at
n,T!1,,il..B.n.d.htt,l " appetite, since taking the
VhtJKI INK I rest well, and relish my food. Can
recommend the Vegetlne for wha t It lms done lor
"18, r; Yours respectfully
... , ,, , Mlts. ALBERT KICKER.
Witness nf the above.
MB. oeorge m. vavohman.
GOOD FOR THE CHILDREN.
Boston Home, ii Tti.eii Sheet,
II. R. Stevens. on, April. l87.
Dear Kir:- We feel that the children In our
home have been greatly benefited bv the VK(JE
TIN, you have so kindly given us from time to
time, especially those troubled with tho Scrofula.
Mas. N. WOHJIEI.I,, Matron.
REV. O. T. WALKER SAYS.
jr r, a. I'rovldence, R. I., 161 Transit Street.
II. R. Stevens, Kn.
I feel bound to express with my signature the
high value I place upon your VKflETINK Mv
family have used It lor the last two ears In
nervous debility It Is Invaluable, and 1 recom
mend It to all who may need an Invigorating, ren
ovating tonic. "
, . ." T- WALKER,
l'ormerly Pastor of Bowdolu square Church,
NOTHINO EQUAl TO IT
tli, it i, at R"utl1 finlem, Mass., Nov. 11, 1876.
Mr .11. R. Stevens.
linar Sir: I have been troubled with Scrofula.
Canker, and Liver Complaint for three years.
Nothing ever did me any good until I commenced
using the VhOKTlNE. 1 consider there is noth.
lug equal to it for such complaints. Can heartily
recommend It to everybody. Yours truly,
Mrs. LIZZIE M. PACKARD.
No. 16 Lagrange St., South Silem, Mass.
RECOMMEND IT HEARTILY
Mr. Stevens. South Boston.
,rl'!'."SJll.).1 h.avft taken several bottles of your
VfcGhTINE, and am convinced It Is a valuable
remedy for .Dyspepsia. Kidney Complaint, and
(.eueral Debility of the System, lean heartily
recommend It to all sufferers from the above com
plaints. Yours respectfully.
Mils. MUNROE PARKER.
v i : a k tin k
H. R. STEVENS, Boston, Mass.
Vcgctine Is Kcld by all Dnigglfctg.
October 16. 1877.1m.
THE subscriber has now on hand at
Good Sole Leather,
Kip of Superior Quality,
Country Calf Skins,
LININGS, HOANS, &c.
NEW BLOOMFIELD, PA.
TRESPASS NOTICE.-Notlce Is hereby by giv
en to all persons not to trespass on the
grounds of the undersigned, situate in MadisoS
and Jackson townships, by picking berries, Ash-lm?;un,tln,-0,r
""'"wise trespassing, as thev
will be dealt with according to law. 7
ft X' GJl!r ' IlJAAO HOLLENBAUOH :
J. B. Comp i Mas. Mart B. Smith :
Solomon Bower ; M ns. Sakah Stam bauoh
w bT2?v James a. Ani.er.ws
W. B. Ghat i Jeremiah Henui :
ANI.REW Thosti , Jam Eg Woons.
Notice Is hereby given that Ephralm A. Mc
Laughlin and wife of Toboyne townslUp. PerVv
fi'V.u J" .deed lntary assfgnmen?
fh-WiS.1" tJn7' 1S77- have conveyed I i
Jit m-f,al,aDdiPer"0?i4' Prolrty for the benettt of
Ji1S2nVo0wtnlsehlp'.ndeS1Ue,1 resld'u '
All persons knowing themselves Indebted to
!ias? t?no,i' vl,,'a,e u,ake Immediate pa
August 1,1877. GE- - USSU.
J?8TATB XOTICKNotlce Is hereby riven
1J that Letters Testamentary on the eiti !I,S
John Neldigh. late of Jackson tow "hip? Pet-rv
county Pa. deceased, have been granted to liZ
undersigned, residing In Alifllln township; cuiS
berland county. Pa. -wip, mui-
All persons Indebted to said estate are request
ed to make immediate payment and those hiving
Settlement Po91" tUem dul "nthall Hot
P T,n2,uS B-WOFFITT. Executor,
nr a ,VS Newville.Cunib. co.. Pa.
a 1 books-- Plain Home Talk ind Me.lTl Com'
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