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THE AKGT7S, SATUBDAT, DECEMBER 20,
TO WDM GIRLS
FRKE MEDICAL ADVICE
Every -working girl who Is not
well is cordially invited -to write
to Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn, Mass.,
for advice; it is freely given, and
lias restored thousands to health.
Hiss Paine's Experience.
' I want to thank you for what you
hrwe done for me, and recommend
Lyriia E. Pink ham's Vegetable
Compound to all girls whose work
keeps them standing- on their feet in
the store. The doctor said I must
6top work ; he did not seem to realize
that a girl cannot afford to stop work
ing1. My back ached, my appetite was
poor. I could not sleep, and menstrua
tion was scanty and very painful. One
day when suffering1 I commenced to
take Lydia E. Pinkhani's Vege
table Compound, and found that
it helped me. 1 continued its use, and
soon found that my menstrual periods
were free from pain and natural ;
everyone is surprised at the change in
me, and I am well, and cannot be too
grateful for what you have done for
me." Miss Jaset Paijte, 530 West
12.th St., New York City. S60CO forfeit
if original of above letter proaing genuinenete eat-
not oe pruaucea.
Take no substitute, for It Is
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound that cures.
Are due to indigestion. Ninety-nine
B of every one hundred people who have
I heart trouble can remember when it
was simple indigestion. It is a scien
tific fart that all cases of heart dis
ease, not organic, are not only trace
able to, but are the direct result of
indigestion. All food taken into the
stomach which fails. of perfect diges
tion ferments and swells th stomach,
puffing it up against the heart. This
interferes with ths action of the heart.
and in the course of time that delicate
but vital organ becomes diseased.
Digests What You Eat
Mrs. Loring Nichols of Per.n Yan. N. Y .
writes: Aftr eating, my food would distress
me by making rr.y heart palpitate and I would
become very weak. Finally I eot a bottie of
Kodol and it gave me immediate relief. After
using a few bottles 1 am cured.
Kodol cures Indigestion, dyspepsia
and all stomach disorders, and gives
the heart a full, fres and untram
Bottles only. SI. 00 Slie holding 21$ times
the trial size, which sells for 50c
EM as a!
In all its etasres there
should be clcauiincss.
Ely'g Cream Cilm
c!eanses,soothe? and locals
the diseased, membrane.
It enrcs catarrh and drives
away a cold in the head
Cream Balm Is placed Into the nost.-ils, spread
over the membrane ami is absorbed. Ke'.lefU im
mediate and a cure follows. It is not drying does
not produce sneezing. Large Size, 60 cents at Drue
gists or by mail ; Trial Size, 10 cents by mall,
SLY BROTHERS. 66 Warren Street. New York.
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For cheapness, durability and
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the wall with alkili, etc.
Plana sent us for estimates
will receive careful attention
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Trains Nos. 5 and 10 will stop
and let visitors off and on.
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BLOCKS AND FOUNDATION
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Sample of stone and photos
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ARTHUR BURRALL, Manager.
Rok Island or Colons. I1L
MAI 5? BALSAM J
Clrtnfw, and bMutifte tije hate. I
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ftweiu Dmirtr-ifj r.d hir Miuas
P. iv) kodol ftyil
Honest Abe, U.S.M.
He Gets- the United States Into
Trouble Over Poetry
Copyright. 1902, by. R. A. Elliott.
SHAVE known Farmer Joe White
and h's family for the last two
years, and I have known that
Arabella, the only daughter, has
poetic aspirations. On several occa
sions she has volunteered to read me
choice selections from her pen, but I
managed to dodge her until the other
day. Then her father waited for me
at the gate and said:
"Look here, Abe. Are you a friend
of this family?"
"I surely am." I replied.
"Then I want you to spare time to
come in and hear my gal's last poem.
It's about that volcano down in Mar
tinique, and it's a hummer. She Is po-
in to send it away to a New York
magazine tomorror, and we want your
opinion of it before It goes."
"I don't believe I could spare time to
"Then you are not the man I took
you to be."
It was either to make the family
mad or to go in and listen to the poetry.
and so I went in. I found Arabella in
a flutter. She had spent four months
writing and revising what she called
"The Wrath 'of Nature," and, being
about to send It to a publisher at last,
she felt very nervous. Her father took
off his coat and sat down to hear tho
reading. The mother suspended the
task of washing up the dinner dishes
and washedher face with soft soap be
fore she fell into the rocking chair and
assumed a pose.
"Abe, will you be honest in your
criticisms?" asks Arabella as she
"I will," I says.
"If it isn't up to Longfellow, will you
"Who was Longfellow?" bluntly
asks Farmer Joe as he takes a big bite
out of the side of an apple. .
"It's bound to be equal to any poetry
ever written by anybody," exclaims the
mother as she rocks to and fro. "Let
me tell you, Abe. that a piano man. a
eewin machine agent, a windmill man
and an artist have listened to parts of
this poem, and every one of 'em praised
it to the skies. Tho artist said there
was not bin' in Shakespeare to ap
'And who's Shakespeare?" asks
Farmer Joe as he takes his second bite.
"He wrote verses," explains the wife.
HE GBABBED ME AND FLUNG ME DOWN.
''Oh, he did! Couldn't have written
much, though, qr I should have heard
of him. Are you ready, Arabella?"
Arabella is ready, and, standing up.
with the manuscript in her left hand
and her right reserved for gestures,
"Mount Pelee gave a shudder.
And Mount Pelee grave a groan,
And o'er Caribbean waters
There flew an awful moan."
'By thunder, but I can feel the shud
der and hear the moan!" exclaims
Farmer Joe as he pounds on the table
with his fist.
"Joseph, don't cuss," reproves the
wife. "I believe I heard that moan up
here that day, but I can say so without
swearin'. Go on. Arabella."
"Beneath that mountain's shadow
Was a city full of glee.
And not a soul was looking
For that grtm calamitee."
"By thunder, I say!" shouts Farmer
Joe as his fist bangs the table again.
'What is it now?" asks his wife.
That s poetry, that is. She runs
right off the tongue like 'lasses across
the floor. It don't wabble and hitch
around like a plow among the roots
and stumps. It's the pure quill, and
Abe knows it. Give us verse No. 3,
"On the green the children scampered.
Sweet music played the band.
And ail saloons were open.
With beer on every hand."
"Better and better, by thunder!" calls
Farmer Joe as he almost smashes the
Joseph, will you quit cussin and
eendin' your soul to perdition?" de
mands his wife as she gives a great
start and turns on him.
"But think of them innocent people.
'Yes, I'm thinkln'."
'And all the saloons open and beer to
be had everywhere."
'That's nothin' to do with it. Don't
you cut up and get Abe rattled. I can
oee that his whole soul is wrapped up
in this thing, and we want to know bis
opinion. Arabella, if you ain't too
nervous, go ahead with the next verse."
"As swift as stroke of lightning
And with warning not at all
A burst of wrath of heaven
Enveloped one and alL" .
"By thunderf ,; ft
"Joseph White!" . .Hfe,
I can't help it, ma."
"You Uust help it."
44 Abe." says Arabella as she sits down
and puts her hand on her heart to still
Its wild beating, "there's twenty-six
more verses, but you can Judge from
what I have read. Is it a poem?"
"It may be," I reply.
"Is It poetry?"
"It may be."
"Does It come up to Longfellow?"
"I I wouldn't want to say it did."
"Then you think It's a failure, and
Arabella fell back in her chair and
began to sob, while her mother held
j her apron to her face and rocked to
and fro ana nioaneu.
"Abe, come outdoors," says Farmer
Joe White in a husky voice.
I went out with him, aud we were
hardly clear of the steps before he
grabled me and . flung me down and
rolled me over the grass and through
the dead stalks of pieplant. I got
ntav from him as ho was trvins to get
! a better hold, but as I reached uiy cart
and drove off he stood at the gate and
shook his fist at me and called:
"By thunder, A1h but the United
States has got to git right down on its
knees and apologize for this!'
And I looked back to see his wife
weeping in the doorway and to realize
that Arabella was lying on the floor
within, a . victim to my truthfulness
and her own poetry. Such things must
Inevitably occ ur on the route of a coun
try letter carrier, but they grieve and
unset him and take away from the
number of his friends. M. QUAD,
"How much is in it, Jimmie?"
"Well, I put in 4 cents two weeks
ago and - cents yesterday, aud then
the interest '11 amount to somethin'."
New York Evening Journal.
It Wa Doalttfol.
"Do you know whether there are any
fish in the lake or not?" asked the
summer guest of the landlord as he re
turned after five hours of fishing with
out a bite.
"I wouldn't like to say," was the re
"Did you ever catch one?"
"Ever hear of one being caught?"
"No. Last spring I drained the lake
and refilled it and put in one fish. He
may have lived or he may have died.
If living, you can catch him if you fish
long enough. If dead, you might as
well sit on the veranda and cuss about
the beds and the table. That's all;
rates $2.50 per day and scenery
Flossie was six years old when she
began to study the piano.
One day at the close of the lesson she
asked her teacher:
"Have I played well today?"
Her teacher answered:
"The exercises you played very nice
ly, but the scales not so well as last
The child looked up into the teacher's
face and very quickly and gravely said:
"You must be thankful for small mor
cies, mustn't you?" Philadelphia Ledg
Optional, of Coarse.
"Sir," exclaimed the offended bride
groom, "It Is customary for the clergy
man to kiss the bride!"
"Well er I reckon you're right about
that," replied the ecclesiastical accom
plice, with another glance at the bride's
face, "but I believe that is attached as
a privilege and not er not as a pen
alty." Baltimore News.
"How iu the world did Si Slocum get
the title of 'Hon.?"' asked the stran
ger. "Waal," said the village -philosopher,
"we ain't 'xactly sure whether the
'Hon.' means 'ornery' or not. but I
guess it fits him." Baltimore Herald.
"Mr. Gotrox," began the nervous
young man, "I er that Is, your daugh
ter is the er apple of my eye, and"
"That will do, young man," inter
rupted' the granite hearted parent.
"Here's $3 for you. Go consult on ocu
list." Chicago News.
"Why do you let your wife belong to
all those woman's rights clubs?"
"I don't mind. She doesn't put in her
time making tidies that stick all over
the furniture and come off in the mid
file of your back." Washington Times.
The Greatest Tliln of All.
That Ehe has golden hair divine
To me is no great shakes.
But I bow down before the fine
Plump waffles that she makes.
Her classic features that I see
My thirst for beauty slakes:
Yet not so much are they to me
As are the cakes she bakes.
I love her eyes, whose limpid blue
Rivals Norwegian lakes;
Yet I forget them so would you
When browsing on her steaks.
Girls. If you're pretty, nothing more.
You are but arrant fakes.
A husband's love flies out the door
Whene'er his stomach aches.
New York Times.
OW an' den I hev called a man a
liar, but 1 hev ginerally been
sure aai i wcju ui ieasi
twenty pounds mo' dan he did.
It may be dat honesty counts fur
sunthln In business, but it looks to me
as if de man who settles wld his cred
itors fur 10 cents on de dollar is de one
who is ahead of de game.
Mo' dan fo'ty years ago I disklvered
dat dere were many things wrong in
dis world, an' arter all dat time I
can't find dat de number has lessened
any. I hev simply worried fo'ty years
Now an den I find a man widout
guile, but no sooner do I make up my
mind to tie up to him an' git de benefit
of his innocence dan I find him to be a
man widout brains.
I hev had several lawsuits in my
time an hev got beaten in each an'
ebcry one of 'cm, but I hev de consola
tion of feelin dat I hev aided Judges,
jurors an' lawyers to airn an extra
dollar or two.
I don't reckon dat one black cat is
blacker dan another in a dark night,
but if any one comes along an' wants
to argue de matter I'm wiliin to sit on
de fence an' try an' convince him dat
slch am de case.
It alius gives me a feelin of placidity
to contribute two bits to de heathen
of Africa of a Sunday, but when I
, . - r I . ..,.....,1,, . . ' .4 . 1
AVUKt? Up Oil .UUllUil J iai uui fin uuu
dat my hen root has been robbed by a
t.nnlmn l niAfl.ta 1 Ain't- rlti fTtlt f
don't believe we d better keep our
money at home. .
I don't say dat a terci of three years
In state prison is a good thing fur a
man who desires to lecome a politi
cian, but when de three years comes as
n sort of windup to a political career
I don't see anything unnatural or In
consistent about it.
Hkiiim nr lip;ins of folks will alius
look unon de came of ioker as sinful
an sunthln' to be avoided, but it am
my personal experience dat de mo'
poker you play de mo' you know about
It may be a little lab' in de day, but
niter a lifetime spent in wonderin".
arguin", jawin an cisnr.tin' I hev
come to de conclusion d::t it actually
rained fo'ty days an' nights to bring
on de flood an' dat I c:in't put on nor
take oil a day. , M. QUAD.
The Ituin Water Worked.
"I don't see why Shoddyman is kick
ing so about tlie way the firemen del
uged his factory with water. They got
the lire out all right before it did much
"Yes, but the water ruined his stock."
""What does he manufacture?"
"Umbrellas." Cincicnati Commer
cial Tribune. :
A Fair Proposition.
'Oh, give us a rest!" said the impa
tient young father, whose firstborn
had been busy for ten minutes plying
him with questions.
The little fellow looked at him a
moment and then, with the utmost Innocence,-
Well, yon rest and 1 11 talk."
Protecting; the Yonna-.
."It Is appalling to think of the temp
tations to which young mtn are ex
posed. We women should do what we
can to lesseu them."
"I do my share. For the last five
years I have made it an Inflexible rule
never to flirt except with married men."
Town Topics. '
A Position of Trn(.
"No. lady." said Meandering Mike.
'I aiu't workln'."
"Have you tried to get work?"
"Yes'm. I nearly had a job shovelin
coal, but I couldn't fird no one to go
on mo bond an' guarantee de owner dat
I wouldn't embezzle." Washington
Once a moonflsh was wed
'To a sunllsh. who saiil:
"I think we will get a divorce.
I am out all the day.
And at night you're away.
To shine as a matter of course."
' New York Herald.
The Proper Conrie.
'What would von do if vou had the
hen that laid golden eggs?" inquired
the man with the heavy mustache.
"Me?" oucried the Wenm man. "I
should feed her this stuff that 'makes
hens lay,' according to the advertise
ments." Philadelphia Ledger.
Judge The witness told all that ha
pened on the second floor. Now. why
do you object to his telling what hap
pened on the third floor?
Counsel Because, if it please your
honor, that is another story. New
York Times. -
INCENTIVE TO EFFORT.
Jrie Lesson Lincoln's Life Teaches to
the Idle Born.
It is human nature to take it easy
when we can, and with most ieople a
big bank account will paralyze effort
pnd destroy ambition. Who can tell
what would have been the effect ou
our national history had Abraham Lin
coin been born in luxury, surrounded
with great libraries, free to the multi
form advantages of schools, colleges
and universities, the manifold oppor
tunities for culture that wealth be
6tows? Who shall say whether the ab
sence of all incentive to effort might
not have smothered such a genius?
What wealthy, city bred youth of to
day, glutted witti opportunities for ac
quiring knowledge, can feel that bun
ger for books, that thirst for knowledge
that spurred Lincoln to scour the wil
derness for many miles to borrow the
coveted "Life of Washington" which
he had heard that some one in the
What young lawyer of our day goes
to a law school or library with such a
keen appetite, with such a yearning for
legal knowledge, as this youth had
when he actually walked forty-four
miles to Ikmtow Blackstone's "Commen
AVhere is the student in college or
university today who experiences that
satisfaction, that sense of conquest,
which thrilled Lincoln while lying on
the floor of his log cabin working out
arithmetical problems on a vjdeii
sliovel by the light of a wood tire or
enthusiastically devouring the contents
of a borrowed book, as if his eves
would never rest on its pages again?
On reading Lincoln's Gettysburg
speech and his second inaugural ad
dress foreign readers exclaimed.
"Whence got this man his style, seeing
he knows nothing of literature?" Well
might they exclaim, but their aston
ishment would have bet n still greater
had they known that those eloquent
utterances that thrilled the nation's
heart had fallen from the lips of one
wljo ia his youth had access to but
our books the Bible, -riIgrim"s. Prog
ress, w ceius "Lite of Washington
and Burns' poems. Success.
LAY UP YOUR TREASURES.
No Man Should Spend the Whole of
Is any one too poor to save? is an im
portant problem which the readers of
h London daily are at present attempt
ing to solve. The question is not by
any means a new one. It is one which
has troubled past generations, just as
In all probability, it will affect the gen
erations yet to come. We cannot say
that this latest discussion of the sub
ject is throwing much. If any, fresh
light upon it.
In the first place, there is a diversity
of opinion regarding the term "ioor.'
One man, who derives an income of
$1,J0 a year from private property.
fancies he conies under the category,
while another does nut consider any
one poor who has an income of J?."i0O a
year, says a writer in Leslie's Weekly.
It is manifestly impossible to fix any
limit in a matter like this. Very much
depends upon the locality and the con
ditions and surroundings of the indi
vidual. An income that would be
amply sufficient to insure a family a
comfortable home, excellent social ad
vantages and a good living in a coun
try village would mean many priva
tions and sore discomforts in any large
Ou the whole, however, we are In
clined to believe that Max O'Bell's
views on the ioint under discussion
come nearer tlie safe and common
sense rule than anything we have seen.
"I do not care," he says, "how small
the income of a man Is, he should never
spend tho whole of it, especially if he
has a wife and children. He should
at least save enough to pay every year
the premium on a good life policy. No
man is worthy of the name who does
not do this, at least, at the pflce of
whatever privations he has to. submit
to. Some pleasure may be" derived
from high living, but certainly no hap
piness." Why f
One of the wonderful things is that
a woman of fair intelligence will paint
her cheeks like a clown's and appear
on the streets. Why does she do it?
Does she imagine that people think the
paint is bloom of youth? Docs she not
know that people laugh at her? There
are two things that people are quick
to notice when a man wears a wig
and when a woman paints her cheeks.
Patient I can't see that there's a
thing wrong with my eyesight.
Oculist Jonnlwyse The most posi
tive proof that you need glasses, my
dear sir, when you are unable to see
anything so plaiu as that! Los Angeles
Mrs. Gimp Is Miss Stitcher much of
Miss Piping Splendid. She never
has to make a dress over more thau
two or three times. Boston Transcript.
"She's evidently the apple of his
"He told me she was a peach."
"So? Well.' at any rate, they are a
fine looking pair." Indianapolis News.
The Need of Modish Soda Ml at.
Under ordinary social and gastronom
ic conditions there is probably a great
deal more heartburn than heartburn
ings. Indianapolis News.
Advise an old man to marry a woman
young enough to be bis daughter, and
he may ask if you take him for a fool,
but he will not be offended. Atchison
- .M J 1 . -1 . ll. ,, w t - 1
"Calumet" means "A Pipe of Peace."
Calumet Baking Powder means peace in
food prepared toitft Calamet "Balding Votilder is pare and healthful,
and fre from Kjschelle salts, lime, alam and ammonia.
The Secret of How to Obtain
Is found in Dr. Walsh's successful treatment for chron-e, nervous aud pri
vate diseases of both sexes. Thousands who were, afflicted with chronie
diseases and w ho failed to find relief elsewhere Lave been permanent !y
cured by Dr. Walsh during the nine years he has been located in Daven
port. That is one of the best reasons if you are siiiTcrin.tr from any chron
ic disease and want to get cured, why you should t::!;e liis treatment.
DR. WALSH CURES
Exhaustive drains, sleeplessness,
weakness of men, failing memory.
mental delusions, or anv other condi
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Dyspepsia, Asthma, lironchitis. Scrof
ula. Piles, Syphilis, P.lood, Kidney,
Liver and Skin Diseases, quickly and
Is a frequent iausc of nervous and
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cure you in u-nm one to three treat
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dreds cured by mail. Hours: 9 to
day, 11:30 to 1:30 p. m.
Office, McCullough Building. 124- West Third Street,
DR. J. E. WALSH,
MISS FAY LEE,
President of the Shakespearian Club, Kansas City.
' Your booklet came to my
home like a message of health
when I had suffered with
headache, backache and bearing-down
pains. I was weak,
nervous and hysterical and
had not consulted any doctor,
thinking it would pass away
in time, but instead I found
that the pains increased and
were more frequent. I de
cided to try Wine of Cardui
and in a short time was much
improved. It seemed to act like a charm.
I kept up the treatment and the result
was most satisfactory. Words fail to ex
press my gratitude for the suffering that
is now saved me. I am in fine health,
physically and mentally. I can only say
thank you', but there is much more in
my heart for you."
TIEARIXG-DOWX pains are the
K I worst that women know. If
mJ you axe suffering from this trou
ble vou need not be uncertain
about it. The.paina in tlie abdomen
and back that feel as if heavy weights
were pulling down on the nerves of the
Ftoniach are "bearing-down pains".
They mav not be particularly severe at
present tut they are growing worse.
That headache which nearly drives ju
distracted now is caused by the terriule
MUm Fay Lee.
WINE of CARD VI
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go to the
R nr.K I5ST.ArJn
di:. .i. i:. walsii.
Formerly of I'hicairo,
Ilx-Su r!-eon-in-fhief of
St. Anthony's Hospital.
WHEN OTHERS FAIL
Is nature's remedy. When scientifi
cally applied it soothes, strengthens
and invigorates. Twenty years' expe
rience ha - made Dr. Walsh a ma-ti r
of this method of curing chronie dis
eases. Electricity is the iiif-t power
ful curative ageTit known in all dis
eases peculiar to woir.cn. nervous
exhaustion, rheumatism, neuralgia,
paralysis, constipation, nervous dys
pepsia, backache, headache, palpita
tion of the heart, etc.
If vou cannot call, write. iluii-
m., to j and 7 to S p. m.; Sun-
nervous tension. The nerves
soon begin tog;ve way under
the strain. You perhaps jump
at any unusual disturbance,
or laugh or weep, hysteri
cally, at no apparent cause.
That is what Miss Fav Lee,
603 North Seventh Street,
Kansas City, Kansas, was
coming to when she rescued
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her a strong, healthy woman
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If you need advice write The Ladies'
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A million suffering women
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1MI 3d Av.
STF.AM I.AUWnR V f