Newspaper Page Text
THE AE&UB, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12 1903.
In the Shade
ALLIANCE had importuned the
editor of Everybody's Palladi
um for a month to commission
him to write a story. One day.
he had quite ignored the bobe
on Lis last dozen calls, the editor
"Yes. you can try your hand at a
Christmas tale for our December num
ber. I'm going to the mountains to
keep cool during dog days. Mail it to
me there at the end of this week, and
I'll read it immediately."
Now. Dalliance had several Christ
mas sketches all ready to spin out into
stories, but instead of buckling to in
good faith and finishing one of thenr
lie began to speculate on the idiosyn
crasies of the chief of the Palladium.
"What in thunder does he want with
a Christmas story in August, with De
cember over three months away? If
he'd said Thanksgiving it would be
more like it, and then I could work a
Christmas story on him later.
"Humph! He's 'going to the moun
tains to cool off!' Much pleasanter
place to pursue the paths of magazine
editing than the dingy, dinky quarters
of the Palladium. But I'll
fix him. Of course he
wants a story from my
pen, only he's too stingy of
courtesy to say so.
"To the mountains to
keep cool and wants to read
about Christmas sleigh
rides and snowdrifts, ice
boats and chill wintry
blasts blowing through old
Santa's whiskers. This is
fighting dog days witn the
mind cure. Hut his nobs Ml
not get a mental ire bath
from me this trip. I'll put
him into a mental oven in
stead and roast the moun
tain coolness out of him."
So Dalliance wrote in a
spirit of vindictiveness and
pushed his prn as he never
pushed it for the prospec
tive publisher's check. He
laid the scene of his story
in a farmer's kitchen in
the middle west. All the family, three
generations wide, rallied in the little
farmhouse to gorge on grandma's
Christmas goxlies. The weather clerk
lost his reckoning, and it was a green,
sticky Christmas. Moreover, the au
thor1 piled on the agony with a roaring
hickory fire, baking, roasting, stewing
half a dozen women and girls packed
in the fiery kitchen., lost to all.djsconi-;
Hurt so the feast ws done on tifcie
and eaten piping hot. Grandpa said,
"'Twun't be no Cris'mus 'thout the
ole fireplace a-humpin'!" And so there
was a roaring furnace in the dining
room, where the overgrown crowd was
packed in to dispose of hot bean soup,
hot turkey, hot baked potatoes, hot tur
nips, hot apple sauce, hot plum pud
ding, hot mince pie and hot coffee.
It was 100 in the shade in Dalliance's
city den while he wrote, as well as in
the picture he drew, and he was ex
hausted from the effect of his own
medicine when the sketch was finished.
Hut this was a trifle so long as he
could parboil the editor of the Pal
ladium. For a week he lived over the
details of-.his joke, sweltering as one
can in dog dajs with flames, heat
waves and sissing things before the
Certain of the success of his scheme
and the usual gilt edged check, for the
Palladium ,was a liberal
paymaster, he decided to
blow himself in advance
by way of cooling his over
heated blood. He haunted
the beach and the roof gar
dens, and, having gorged
his stomach with ice water
while concocting the red
hot story, he found it nec
essary to introduce more
palatable liquids, and these
cost good money. Every
night, or," rather, early
morning, he happened
around to see if the mail
had landed his cheek and.
not finding it, lived the
story over again, as he
thought the editor would
find it in his mountain
haven. It even delighted
h!m to believe that his vic
tim was having a good
long roast. These frequent
rehearsals produced" the in
evitable result of more thirst, more ice
water, more staleness of the palate and
a desire for liquid that would take hold.
Then at length he got his manuscript
back with a curt note saying:
My Dear Sir In the same mail with
your manuscript came a note from my as
sistant to tlie effect that a Christmaa
story bought last year and somehow mis
laid In the Palladium office has turned
up. Of course we must use that, so I am
compelled to deny myself the personal
pleasure it would afford me to read your
manuscript in order to return it in time
for you to seek a. purchaser elsewhere.
Thank vou just the same for submitting
It. TUB EDITOR.
Poor Dalliance hadn't even the usual
satisfaction of cursing the numskull
autocrat for not knowing a good tiling
when he saw it.
It waa 100
Watcbm Slower at Xiht.
"You know that the vital energies are
at lower ebb at night than in the day
time," said an old watchmaker. "Would
you hoj.ieye that some watches espe
cially the cheaper ones are similari;
"You know a good watchmaker al
ways wants several days in which to
regulate u timepiece. That is because
.the only way to regulale it properly is
to compare it with a chronometer at
the same hour every day. Otherwise
the variations in the speed of the watch
will baffle his efforts.
"The man to whom I was apprenticed
toid me this, and I thought the idea ab
surd. We were working late one night
and he called my attention to a lot of
watches that were regulated and ready
to deliver. It was near midnight, and
every watch was slow. The better
timepieces had lagged behind some sec
onds. The cheaper watches were a
minute or more out of the way. Next
morning every one of the lot was ex
"The fact is you can regulate a watch
to make exactly twenty-four hours a
day, but you can't persuade it to make
just sixty minutes in each of tlie twenty-four
hours. Why this is no one can
tell." New York Times.
Lakri of Hlood.
The name Ijike of Hlood or its equiv
alent has been given to places as far
apart as England and South America.
"Sanguelac" 1. e.. the Lake of Wood
was the name given by the victo
rious Normans to the battlefield at Hast
ings, where the Saxons were over
thrown and slain with terrible carnage.
For a similar reason Lake Trasimene
has borne the name "Sanginetto" be
cause its waters were reddened during
the second Punic war by the blood of
some la.000 Romans who fell before
the troops of Hannibal.
Yet another Lake of Hlood. called
also "Yaguar Cocha," is situated in
the state of Ecuador. It is one of a
series of lakes formed by the extinct
craters of volcanoes on the towering
heights of the Andes range of mountains.
Feared lie Had lteen "Done."
A messenger boy was sent by an
official of one of the big banks to pur
chase a pamphlet. When the 'lad re
turned and handed over the little pack
age he stood toying with his cap until
the banker said:
"Well, my boy, I guess it's all right."
"Geo," said the boy, brightening up
immediately, "dat's a load off my
mind. When dat bookman took de half
dollar an' didn't give me nothin' but
dat weeny, dinky bit of readin'. gee
whiz, I says, he's a-doin me up fur
fair! Why, I don't pay only a nickel
fur my books, an' dey're twice as big
as dat one." New York Press.
"You've got a cinch," remarked the
yardstick to the sewing machine.
"Nothing to do but sew seams."
"Seems so." replied the machine la
conically. Philadelphia Ledger.
s for Christmas Goods
The Neatly Gloved Hand
is the hand that wears the well-ut-tiny.
well-wearing, ell-finishes I
H. G P. GLOVES.
They are made of the finest Im
ported skin. and kWc that f.nishimc
touch whih well-dressed people
appreciate. They are good enough
for the best people and cheap enough
fur the roost economical people,
ft We sell them because they Mil
more easily and give better satir fac
tion tliiva uay glgvc wc taa handle.
WE WILL GO TO
FOR OUR GLOVES.
His stot-lc is fresh,
from G lovers vil te,
the style and prices
$1.25. $1.50. $1.75.
FT7R LINED AT
$3.00 up to $10.00
$1.00 to $2.50.
Ladies Golf Gloves
30c to $1.00.
Mufflers, the New Crown
well, $1.00 Up.
You can expect to
see just the np-to-date
thing in this
line at Lloyd's.
From the little bow
to the large Ascots
and the swell Puffs
in fancy "boxes.
For Christmas Gifts Go to
Suit able for
Is the Place.
In all shades and grades
See our Fitte and
Silk lined bags, Leath
er Hat Cases for three
Ha.rper House Block
L-J9 es.,l ' 5
Seatonlng tbe Bath.
Salt baths are common, but a pepper
bath is something new to most people.
Such a bath is recommended to pa
tients of the Los Angeles Institute of
Suggestive Therapeutics as a health
ful stimulant and to promote perspira
tion. It is simple and can be taken by
any one at home. Here are the dlree
tious as furnished by Dr. F. W. Ray
burn: "We in our practice lay much stress
upon keeping all the avenues of elim
ination in perfect working order. In
order that the skin may do its full
shore the pores must be kept open and
free from all effete matter. Now, the
ordinary scrub does not do tlws. One
must ierspire freely. Many of my pa
tients object, and for many and vari
ous reasons, but I have found that
they unanimously agree as to its ctli
cacy after a few trials. It stimulates
and helps lo equalize the circulation
'"Upon retiring fill your tub with wa
ter as hot ns can comfortably be borne.
After the water has been turned off
put in a teacupful of sea salt and a ta
blespoonful of cayenne pepper. Told a
cold wet towel about the forehead and
remain in the tub about ten minutes.
After getting into bed drink a glass
f ul of lemonade, hot or cold, ns pre
ferred. In the morning you will fully
realize the need of your morning scrub,
followed bv a cold sponge bath, in
which you have dissolved sea salt
After a brisk rub with a rough towel
3'ou will feel new life, vitality and
vigor tingling through every vein ami
artery. I know whereof I speak.
take it twice a week myself. Oftener
would not be advisable." Los Angeles
Women Hotel Ileut.
"Swell women hotel lieats." accord
ing to the Pittsburg Dispatch, are le
coming a grave concern to many of the
big uptown hostelries in New York. It
seems that many of them are well
meaning, but they run up hills under a
misapprehension of the cost. When a
statement of account is presented they
fear the ire of hubby and leave the
hotel after paying something on ao
During the summer and fall many
women come here with their daugh
ters. They have the permission and
tlie sanction of their husbands, of
course, but these nam working per
sons usually expect them to keep with
Jn bounds. This isli.nrd to do in hotel
life in New York. Those who fail gel
their nainos on the delinquent list
which is furnished to every New York
Women from all ranks of society
have succeeded in making names for
themselves in this way. but. alas, in
stead of being inscribed with those of
the immortally famous they are added
to a Iotir list of other delinquent debt
ors in the handbook of the National
Hotel Keepers'. Protective association
and hung up for use in every large
hotel in the country.
A Rnre Cane.
There has just occurred at Madrid a
ease that is extreniely rare, if not ab
solutely unique, in criminal annals
that of man imprisoned on the charge
of murder and being sentenced to
deatli and afterward reprieved with
out his knowing it. The man, named
Jose L'spero t'uellar. had, n circum
stances of great provocation, murdered
a faithless sweetheart, and, although
he was in jail, trial for the crime had
been conducted without his being pro
duced or even knowing that the case
had come on. Even when sentence of
death was pronounced nobody deemed
it his immediate- duty to inform the
person most concerned. One day.
some time after, reading a newspaper
that had loen allowed him, Ouellar
there read the announcement of his re
prieve and. petitioning to see the gov
ernor of the prison, learned for the
first time all that had happened.
A Yankee Trick In Mntcbe.
"Will you let me have a few match
es?" asked the cigarette smoker at a
bar up in Connecticut the other day,
and the bartender passed out a long
box containing matches twice the usu
"What are these big sticks for?"
asked the youth.
"To make the matches awkward to
carry away," explained the bartender.
"Every smoker who spends a nickel
for a drink used to fill his vest pocket
with matches, and it cost me a pretty
penny. I tiled safety matches, and
each one would take a box of them.
Then I caught on to this Yankee trick.
These matches won't go into a vest
pocket, and a box of them lasts ns long
as a gross of the others. My match bill
amounts to almost nothing now."
A "Dade Elephant" Killed.
For years Toby was the pet ele
phant of the botanical gardens at Sai
gon. Indo-China. Lately because of
advancing years and possible infirmity
of temper Toby was sent inland to
Tuom Pen, the chief town of his na
tive jungle, and put Into "retired life"
among a troop of his fellows. The lat
ter, however, refused to recognize tha
"city dude," who had for so many
years lived in luxury and had lost his
wild habits. They set upon Toby and
killed him after a desperate struggle.
A Sew Pearl Supply. -
Ralph Duliois, professor in the Uni
versity of Lyons, has informed the
French Academy of Science . that he
has found a means of acclimatizing the
pearl ojster and reproducing pearls on
the coast of France. lie exhibited sev
eral specimens of living pearl oysters
which had been cultivated in the Med
iterranean. Moreover, while the usual
rate of finding pearls Is one in 1,23 to
1.500 oysters. Professor Dubois has pr
eceded in getting one out of t?n-
NEW UPRJGHT PIANOS FOR CASH
Also a few Second Hand Piervos,
both upright -and square, taken as
part payment on new pianos. I sell
Tlie Cable Co. Pianos
TIIK LAIKiKST AND WKALTHIKST PIANO M ANUF ACTF 11KK IX THIS
rorxTKY. i:vi:ky piano has thi: caui.e company cfarantkk
FOR TKN Y i:KS. I HAVE NO P.I C STOCK KXPKNSK 1)1! A IK NTS
TIIKIJKKOUK YOl' (IKT A (IIJKAT RKDltTION FROM OTH KR DKALKIIS"
PRICKS. OOOO INSTALLMENTS ACCKPTK1) AND EXCHANGES MADE.
COME TO SEE ME. IT WILL CERTAINLY PAY YOF.
I HAY K .ICST RECEIVED A NICE LOT OF (OCCIIES. SIDE T.OARDS.
( OMP.IXATIOX ROOK CASES, ROCKERS. MANTLES. FANCY CLOCKS.
RINOS. AND A TIIOCSAN I) OTHER I SEFl'L ARTICLES SI ITAIJLE FOR
COME AND LET ME SAVE YOC MONEY OX ANYTHIXO AND EV
FRY Till NO.
1622 Second Avenue,
WHO KISSED HIM ?
The shell seemed to burst in my very
face. There was a flash, an explosion,
and I was sent sprawling backward.
Why I was not killed 1 don't know. A
fragment broke my arm, but that was
nil the damage that was done by the
shell. 1 he concussion did much more,
and either flame or gunpowder or both
put my ryes ia a critical condition.
The army was moving every day,
and what hospitals were established
were full. Those for whom there was
no room were left in homes along the
way. and I was in one of these houses.
I lay on a bed with my eyes closed.
The surgeon insisted on blinding them,
but I protested, and he laid my hand
kerchief over them, telling me that if
I opened them I would lose my eye
sight. : "
I lay thinking of home and the care
I would receive were I there. We pity
the soldier worn with tramping, cold,
hunger; we pity him dead. It is not in
either of these conditions that he really
needs our sympathy, but sick or
wounded, with so many of his com
rades in like condition that he cannot
receive attention. As a starving man
will pass his time ordering imaginary
dinners. 1 dwelt upon the acts of. lov
ing kindness my mother and listers
would lavish upon me were, they at
hand, or, rather, were I in my own
room at home, in my old four post bed
stead, my favorite pictures on the
wall and decorations with which I
had always been familiar on every
side. Thus thinking I fell into a semi
slumber, my day dream merging into
sleep dream. My favorite sister came
to my bedside and, saying softly
"Poor boy," bent over me and kissed
Before her lips were taken from mine
I was awake. Yet the dream did not
vanish with the waking. For an in
stant longer I felt a pair of lips on
mine, and they were extremely lifelike.
I took no thought of the surgeon's warn
ing, but, seizing the handkerchief, drew
it away and opened my eyes. Before
my impaired" vision became nccustomed
to the lieht the nerson who kissed mo
I heard a rumble of wheels at the
door, 'a noppltai stowaru 'ana two men
bearing a stretcher entered, and I was
carried out to an ambulance where
there was room for one more and taken
to a hospital. There I remained a short
time, then was sent away to get treat
ment with a view to saving my eyesight.
The youngster of twenty-three who
could submit to ignorance as to the
identity of the one who has kissed liim
must be indited untouched by romance.
I surely could not. During days and
nights that I was obliged to sit or lie
with closed eyes my mind was con
stantly on her, for it never occurred to
ine that the person could be aught but
u woman. She was a queenly brunette,
a blue eyed blond. I endowed her with
every charm of soul and body that a
woman can ossess. If ever a man was
in love with a fancy I was that man.
I recovered and rejoined my com
mand. The stern duties of a soldier
somewhat diverted my mind, but were
incapable of blotting out tlie fascina
tion, the desire to learn who it was that
kissed me. The army had Ieen driven
far from the region where I had been
wounded, but soon after I rejoined we
recovered the lost territory. Finding
myself near the house where I had
been kissed. I rode in search of It and
found it deserted. The only house near
by where I could make inquiries was
in the center of a large plantation half
a mile distant. There I repaired and,
riding up to the veranda, was met by a
young girl who at the moment came
out of the hall door.
The people of the south whenever
Union troops approached suddenly
were sure to be disconcerted, for they
never knew what treatment they
were to experience. The girl turned
pale. In order to reassure her I told
her that I simply wished to know what
had become of the people who had oc
cupied the house in which I was In
terested. She told me that they had
gone away; that the family consisted
of a father, a mother and three grown
daughters. As she recovered her equa
nimity a'Tid I pushed my questions as
to the daughters she told me that
the youngest was a pretty girl of sev
enteen, while her sisters were ordi
nary, one of them an old maid. I told
her that she had only added fuel to my
curiosity and begged her to tell me
more about them. F.h? Pot only did so.
but' prom ised to'try'to ti'iid theni for mo.
We remained in the locality for some
time, and I saw her frequently. She
soon told me that she had seen the
family and promised me an interview,
but kept putting me off, tantalizing
me with different stories. Neverthe
less I managed to endure the delay, for
I was becoming engrossed with the
young lady herself. She kept on with
her information, but the statements va
ried from day to day. She declared
that the daughters denied my story en
tirely. Then the youngest and prettiest
had kissed me. The next day it was th
old maid. I lcgan to suspect that I
was being fooled. Indeed, I had lost
my heart to the investigator, and the
investigated ceased to interest me. One
moonlight night I told her of my love.
The corners of her mouth quirked up
in a smile.
"But the girl who kissed yon?"
"I fancy that was a dream."
"It was not."
"How do you know?"
"Because I was that girl."
Then she explained that during the
fighting she had gone to the house to
help care for the wounded and under
an Impulse had taken a kiss from
me. She recognized me the moment
she saw me again and had turned pale,
not from fright, but dreading I should
know her. HENRY BALLARD.
Tn Ulnar find Giving:.
"You can't," said the philosopher,
"tftke from a thing without making it
"Oh. I don't know," the fool replied.
"Have you ever tried taking a light
from one candle with another?" Chi-'
A Natural Defre.
Sm-th I wonder what Br-wn intend
to do with all the money he got for
those historical novels he wrote.
J-n-s He intends to travel. He feels
that he ought to visit some of the place
be wrote about just to see what they
are like. Life.
"Did you tell that publisher that your
novel was entirely original?"
"What did he say?"
"He said it might be good in spite of
that fact, but he doubted it." Wash