Newspaper Page Text
TILE SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12, 1903.
Copyright, 1D02. by T. C. MeClure.
fT was three days before Christinas.
Kedney Hurke separated bis di
minutive frame from the seething
crowd of humanity that pressed
idong the street and paused before a'
plate ylass window which above all
tli-rs attracted hiia. 'liis was not
a department store or a candy store or
u bakeshop. Inside there were neither
tiys nor bled.-? nor good things to eat.
lint it held those things upon which
Kedney Itarke had feasted ids small
eyes for many days. And now he
looked, with his whole soul in his
glance he looked and looked and look
ed, lie sniffed the air and imagined
to himself that already he was enjoy
ing the good things within.
For it was a cigar store, a store of
the better class, full of pipes and tobac
co and cigarettes and chewing tobacco
and everything that ends in smoke.
In the front of the window immedi
ately under the olfactory nerves of Mr.
V . H il 1.11 1 1 . '.,
v . .. ,u.y 1 1 . ft
"WHAT WOULD YOU tIKE TO HAVE FOIl
Itedney Burke was a pipe not an ex
pensive one. but one of jus;t the make
and pattern that suited Mr. Burke. He
had religiously watched this pipe from
day to day, afraid that some other cus
tomer would buy it. Hut there it still
"Heel" exclaimed Mr. Kedney Burke
to himself as he scratched his short red
hah-. "(Jee, I wisht I had it:"
And the unfortunate part of it all
was that he didn't have a cent. He
searched every pocket and cranny of
his superannuated clothes, from his I
feet, which rested on the ground, to his
hat, which occupied an exalted posi
tion some three feet odd above the
w ' K v " "
! J(WP' Pi''
1 wmy ?
H." V , Pv
1 kidneys, and induce restful sleep. Then you'll
0 feel better. It will also cure BELCHING, FLAT-
2 ULENCY, INDIGESTION.
i TION, BILIOUSNESS, OR MALARIA, FE
I VER AND AGUE. We urge you to try a bot
S tie, but beware of imitations and counterfeits.
4i MR. W. A. CARSOX, ALBION",
was wry iTMiew hi iiiiii. luur
ii MR. J AS. D. SMITH, KEKKIMEK," KAN., says: "I suffered from Malaria, and my doctor advised me
JT to use your Tiitters. I did so, and now I feel like a -new man."
THE GENUINE HAS OUR PRIVATE STAMP OVER NECK OF BOTTLE, g
ground, for that wjn'eh he knew he did
not possess. The expected happened,
for he found nothing. " "
"(See!" he exclaimed again,
nnnuder suit, I'd hock this.
If I had
have that pipe; that's what!"
Strolling along the street, at peace
with all the world, came a philanthro
pist. Kedney's critical eye. casting
about for ways and means, noted him
as he came.
"I fought he was a stiff," he remark
ed confidentially to some friends n-tlay
or two later, ''but I was away off, I
The philanthropist, whose good na
ture, to give the devil his due. was
caused by a remarkably good dinner
which he had just enjoyed the phi
lanthropist bore down upon Mr. Ked
ney Burke. The latter saw him com
ing. "Now. what's his game, anyways?''
thought Mr. Burke as he turned back
once more to gaze uion the pipe.
"Hello, small sir!" remarked the
friend of mankind genially. "Merry
"Aw," thought he small sir to him
self, "what ye givin us? Why can't
ye leave me alone V
But be didn't say it. He simply
looked up at the big man with a half
coy. half frightened glance, more par
ticularly to determine whether he
might not be the police department In
"Merry Christmas!" he returned, a
bit wistfully as he thought he saw
a possible opening of a pleasant na-
"Well, my boy," continued the man.
"what are you going to have for
'"Christmas!" returned Kedney, with
a slight variation from the truth. "We
don't never have nothin' for Christmas,
The man smiled a smile of pity.
"Dear me," he remarked, half to him
solf. "how true it is that one half of
the world knows not how the other
half lives." Then he raised his voice.
"What would you say. small sir. if I
should buy you some of those toys"
He stopped as he gazed into the win
dow. by, why. he went on, 1
thought this was a toy store that you
were looking into!" "
"Niivv," returned Kedney. "It's a to
"But but." continued the man, "you
vou don't smoke tobacco. You cer
tainly at your age cannot"
"Vaw." returned Burke. "I don't. I
I wasn't tmnkin' aoout meseii so
much. I was thinkin' about me old
father. lie broke his pipe last mont".
un' lie ain't had none since, an' he's too
poor to git anmider one. I was lookin'
ut these. Gee! If I could git enough
of the stuff together, I wouldn't do a
thing but buy that there one for him
me poor ole father."
This was said with an air of the
greatest frankness, although Mr. Ked
ney Burke had always considered his
father, as did many others, in the light
of a genteel myth. Still he thought to
himself that If he had a father and if
he himself were worth a few million or
so he might he didn't commit himself
upon the subject, however, even in his
thoughts he might blow his father to
a pipe some time. This considerate
sentiment, lie reasoned, justified his re
ply to the philanthropist.
"Well, well," remarked the latter.
glancing down at the disinterested
8rt.cimen before him. "but what would
you like to have now for Christmas?"
Kedney shook his head. "I ain't per
ticler about meself. If I could git th:
Induces Restful SSeep
You cannot expect to be strong
and vigorous if you are unable to
sleep. You get up feeling misera
ble, have severe headaches, nerves
are unstrung, appetite's poor and
life seems a burden. The trouble
lies in the stomach, and you ought
to take Hostetter's Stomach Bitters
at once. It will restore your stom
ach to its normal condition, steady
the nerves, stimulate the liver and
NEB., Says: "I was troubled with Constipation and Biliousness, and t
ijiirers prompii cured me.
taere pipe any he acrci'vl as ne scent
ed iossibilities heretofore unsuspected,
"an a good bit of sniokin tobacco, an'
one of them there rubber things to put
it in say. If I could do that for the old
man say! An wouldn't he feel stuck
on bisself! But, gee, wot's de use? I
can't do it, so I might as well be go
In'." He made this last remark because he
knew intuitively that brevity, which is
the soul of wit, is also the essential in
charitable enterprises, (iood Impulses
don't last forever, so he moved off,
shaking his head as he wont.
The big man looked up and down .the
street to see if he was olmcrved. then
he stretched forth his hand and caught
Rodney by the arm.
"Here, my boy," he exclaimed gently
as he shoved a live dollar bill Into Mr.
Kedney Burke's reluctant grasp "here,
go and get the pipe for your futher and
then go ami get something for for
yourself, and and have at least one
happy Christmas that you can look
back uiKin." 1 1 is eyes glistened a bit
us lu said it. and. to his credit be it said,
he did not regret the impulse or the do
nation for 'a full two hours thereafter.
"Tanks," said Mr. Burke, with a b.'t
of a scrape and a stilT sort of bow
"t'anks from me an me old man!"
The next day there was a queer for
mation in an unfrequented corner of
the play yard of the Fourteenth ward
school. This formation resembled more
than anything else an F.skiino hut, but
composed, instead of inanimate ma
terial, of a very animated and interested
crowd of boys gathered around a com
mon center. From the aperture in the
top of this human Eskimo dwelling,
and therefore heightening the illusion,
ascended a column of smoke, and as it
ascended to the skies there came a
voice from within.
"Gee. fellers!" said the voice. "Gee,
but ain't this great?" It was the voice
of Mr. Kedney Burke, the votary of my
Lady Nicotine, the center of an admir
ing crowd. He smoked a pipe the pipe
of his heart and he tilled it from a red
"Just tits in me pants pocket," he ob
served. And as he said it he pulled out
a few dollar bills and exhibited them.
"An I got four more plunks left!
What d'ye fink?" he said.
Later, in the class room, the teacher
lifted her head high in the air and
"Some boy," she remarked severely,
"has been smoking. 1 want to know
who it is."
She looked not around the room but
directly at r. Kedney Burke. He fair
ly reeked with tobacco, and he knew it.
Under the circumstances, therefore,
he side stepped with alacrity into the
aisle and looked squarely into the
"Me old wo me mother,' he explain
ed glibly "me mother had a smokiif
jag on yestiddy, an 1 had to stay houie
an fill her pipes, an' rue clo'es is full
of it. It ain't me; it's her. D'ye see?"
Then he whipped out a small, new
leather poeketbook with a brand new
penny in it and handed it over. "An' a
merry Christinas to you. Miss Hurt
whistle!'' he remarked. .
In this world, if you live long enough,
you will grow tired of everything
men and women, of yachts and dinners,
of politics and money making but
when tho fascination of the race horse
gets into the blood it never leaves. It
is the greatest sport and the poorest
business ever devised by man. I'ierre
-9 YTti j i i
The Coffee. . Heart.
If you can't go up stairs or "hurry" without heart-palpitation- if you're troubled with
shortness of breath easily winded the chances are that coffee is responsible. Coffee
affects the nerves of the stomach and produces the most distressing form of heart trouble.
Enjoy absolute relief from such disorders by quitting coffee and drinking
Flavor and aroma delicious as that of the best coffee, inveterate coffee drinkers say that
very little "tapering off" is required with " Mccon." It produces a healthy digestion
and assimilation, puts the system in a normal condition and re-vitalizes tired nerves.
T4US Cuatl US13TUIA
A CHARMING AMERICAN.
Counteta I"abIi-icott i. Who Is a.
C'uuniit of lrii(lrnt Ilooaevelt.
Quite a stir was occasioned nraon
society folk in New York and Wasli
ington by the announeement of the
marriaye of Miss Cornelia Koosevelt
Seovel, second cousin of President
Koosevelt, to Count Kiecardo l'abbri
cotti, which took place a lew days ago
it Florence, Italy.
Countos.- Fabbricotli was born in
Paris and has spent most of her life in
Florence and Kome, though she is well
known in this country, having made
frequent visits here with her mother.
who was a Koosevelt. She is an ac
complished musician and nt one time
Intended to sing In grand opera. The
countess Inherited her singing powers
from lier father, Chevalier Scovel, who
has been upou the operatic stage most
of his life. ....
Villa Terra za, the beautiful home of
the Scovels in Florence, is the .gather
ing place of the nobility and ro3-alty, to
whom the fair American is known as
"the little lady of Florence" becaus2
of her social tact, grace and wit.
So Millionaire.,' No Progrf .
A country without millionaires will
have few If any railroads, no modern
sanitation, none of the devices and as
sistants of modern science. Poverty,
ignorance, superstition and despotism
are invariably the lot of the common
people In any country where million
aires have not appeared or do not re
main. Nobody can do very much for
himself without doing something for
others. No man ever acquired a mil
lion in legitimate business without
benefiting the community perhaps to
the extent of many millions. Millions
nowadays can come only with an ac
tive, exceptional capacity for success
ful business. Snccessful business does
not mean, as it did in the middle ages,
the power to rob your neighbor. It
means the power to serve the poolic
better than your neigbtior can serve It
Try this perfect substitute tor conce.
I h-ive been a coffee drinker all my life and came from a family of cofTee drinkers. M3- head ached considerably end my
toim-ue always had a heavy coating. Since usinS MOCON'-r.bout fix mor.th- the headaclu s have almost dapp.rart-d ami
my tongue ha a more healthy appearance and is almost clear. 1 find myself hs nervous than usual. 1 drm
hot in the morning and iced for the noon meal." JVae fumislieJ on request.
Man's best drink
Write for a trial
City Cereal Coffee Co., Peoria,
Necessarily this conies ttirougn trie ue
velopincnt and use of superior machin
ery or better methods for producing
wealth and doing business. Guntou's
lltmannn, ot I'ajaiuaa.
At a certain dinner party a cliarming
young woman was seated next to an
pxrceiliri'-lv leaf old man. She had
I done her best to interest him. but had
found it necessary to shout out each
j remark unto the third and fourth nar
ration oeroro me oiu man couiu euicu
So the time dragged along till the
diuner was waning and the fruit was
The young woman determined to
make a final effort at being agreeable,
so she threw her voice into saying:
"l) you like bananas?"
"How's that?" asked her neighbor in
a surprised tone.
"Io you like bananas?" she repeated.
"Well, iiiv dear." he replied, "so long
' as you have introduced the topic. I will
8ay that I much preler the old fashion
WearlnoKH In Melnl.1.
It has Itccn found that when animal
matter (for instance, a muscle or nerve) !
is repeatedly Irritated its sensitiveness j
wears off nTter a time. The deflection
of the galvanometer needle is feebler !
and feebler. In fact, the muscle or
nerve begins to show signs of fatigue.
In the human !ody, of course, this fa
tigue is quite obvious. If we use a
particular muscle or nerve continuous;
ly without giving it time to rest its
original action soon becomes enfeebled.
Professor Hose finds that metals be
tray exactly the same signs of fatigue
under repeated irritation. A. S. K.
Ghosh in Pearson's Magazine.
Prospective Patron What modern
languages do you teach here?
College President (fifty years hence)
All the leading ones except English.
Prospective Patron Except English?
How is that?
College President We have aban
doned the effort to keep up with It. Our
standard dictionaries now contain sev
eral million words principally slang,
sir: principally slang and there is a
new one born Into the language every
minute in the day. Chicago Tribune.
Two Doaea Daily Cnouffb.
Hewitt Kruet used to le a big eater,
but now he has only two meals a day.
Jewett You know the reason, don't
Hewitt No: what is it?
Jewett The doctor gave him some
medicine to take after each meal.
A Little Glutton.
Papa Tommy, you mustn't eat so
much. Everybody will be calling you a
little "glutton." Do you know what
Tommy I suppose it's a big glutton's
little boy. Philadelphia Ledger.
Rome people are slow, but sure, but
it's different with clocks. Philadelphia
Ask your grocer
I!!s., U. S. A.i
A Society Belle of
nTIISS MAY M ARKELL
jg o London, Ontario,
' Canada, ia a beauti-
iui girl who knows what
suffering is and Wine of
Cardui has brought her hack
to health. She is one of the
social favorites of her home
and ber recovery to health
has permitted her to enjoy
the company of her many
friends instead of lyinjr on
a bed of sickness 4nd suffering. For
the health she now enjoys she gives
credit to Wine of CarJui. She writes:
"I have found "Wice of Cardui an excel
lent remedy for female trouble. I suffered
for three years with terrible bearing-down
pains at the menstrual period. I could
hardly stand on ray feet and was never
real well. Wine of Cardui was the only
medicine that I could depend on to do me
any good, as I tried several with no suc
cess. Wine of Cardui cured me and I
have now enjoyed psrfect health for two
years, and give you all the credit for I
know you deserve it."
For a young girl Wine of Cardui is
the best remedy to guide her through
womanhood by starting the menstrual
iff v v
Mist Nay SlarhtlL
t Sl I nursing
FJS ' druggists sell it. Frepu.a by the
i B. WINTER. X
Wholesale Dealer In PURE WINES AND LIQUOES.
l WAUKESHA AND COLFAX MINERAL f
: WATER. Z
I fuufeLucM of WIM'hfl'S CELKliliAlkllt liiTTfcKS t
t 1116-1318 TMrd Avenue, Rock 4 Island, IlL 5
flow in a healthy and nat
ural manner. Menstruation
started right i3 very easy to
keep regular through the
j-ears of mature womanhood.
Then the "change of life"
need not be feared. Thus
"Wine of Cardui is woman's
best relief from youth to
old age. A million women
have secured blessed relief
from their sufferings by tak
ing this treatment. It relieves men
strual troubles in an incredibly short
time. In a simple case of deranged
menses Wine 6t Cardui never fails. To
relieve disordered menses is to remove
the cause of other female troubles. Any
physician will tell you that to remove
the cause of a disease renders the cure
easy, in fact seldom fails to complete
the cure. If you would have the same
relief which Mifi3 Markell secured try
Wine of CarJui. You can take it with
out an examination and without any
publicity whatever. You can take it in
the privacy of your home and secure
just as much benefit as if a doctor had
prescribed it for you. Thousands of wo
men are feeling the vigor of returning
health by taking Wine of Cardui.
A million suffering women
have found relief in
Wine of Cardui.
Growing Old Gracefully
The infirmities of old age are
successfully combated by the
properties are invalua-
mothers, little children
- Busch Brewing Ass'n
St. Louis, U. S. A.
- j . v;M:..,-A ' i