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TILE SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12, 1903. 15 eoney s hri jrtmexs moke Copyright, 1D02. by T. C. MeClure. fT was three days before Christinas. Kedney Hurke separated bis di minutive frame from the seething crowd of humanity that pressed idong the street and paused before a' plate ylass window which above all tli-rs attracted hiia. 'liis was not a department store or a candy store or u bakeshop. Inside there were neither tiys nor bled.-? nor good things to eat. lint it held those things upon which Kedney Itarke had feasted ids small eyes for many days. And now he looked, with his whole soul in his glance he looked and looked and look ed, lie sniffed the air and imagined to himself that already he was enjoy ing the good things within. For it was a cigar store, a store of the better class, full of pipes and tobac co and cigarettes and chewing tobacco and everything that ends in smoke. In the front of the window immedi ately under the olfactory nerves of Mr. V . H il 1.11 1 1 . '., v . .. ,u.y 1 1 . ft mm ' "WHAT WOULD YOU tIKE TO HAVE FOIl CHRISTMAS?" Itedney Burke was a pipe not an ex pensive one. but one of jus;t the make and pattern that suited Mr. Burke. He had religiously watched this pipe from day to day, afraid that some other cus tomer would buy it. Hut there it still remained. "Heel" exclaimed Mr. Kedney Burke to himself as he scratched his short red hah-. "(Jee, I wisht I had it:" And the unfortunate part of it all was that he didn't have a cent. He searched every pocket and cranny of his superannuated clothes, from his I feet, which rested on the ground, to his hat, which occupied an exalted posi tion some three feet odd above the o o 0 O 0 a o 0 o o o o a o 0 0 0 0 0 O 0 0 0 0 i stomach; ft; ife w ' K v " " mm, rrr CTi ! J(WP' Pi'' 1 wmy ? H." V , Pv li 2! St 1 kidneys, and induce restful sleep. Then you'll 0 feel better. It will also cure BELCHING, FLAT- 2 ULENCY, INDIGESTION. i TION, BILIOUSNESS, OR MALARIA, FE I VER AND AGUE. We urge you to try a bot S tie, but beware of imitations and counterfeits. 4i MR. W. A. CARSOX, ALBION", was wry iTMiew hi iiiiii. luur ii MR. J AS. D. SMITH, KEKKIMEK," KAN., says: "I suffered from Malaria, and my doctor advised me JT to use your Tiitters. I did so, and now I feel like a -new man." , ' ; ; j THE GENUINE HAS OUR PRIVATE STAMP OVER NECK OF BOTTLE, g "her 0 0000C000O000000000000000000000OO000000O ground, for that wjn'eh he knew he did not possess. The expected happened, for he found nothing. " " "(See!" he exclaimed again, nnnuder suit, I'd hock this. If I had I gotter have that pipe; that's what!" Strolling along the street, at peace with all the world, came a philanthro pist. Kedney's critical eye. casting about for ways and means, noted him as he came. "I fought he was a stiff," he remark ed confidentially to some friends n-tlay or two later, ''but I was away off, I was." The philanthropist, whose good na ture, to give the devil his due. was caused by a remarkably good dinner which he had just enjoyed the phi lanthropist bore down upon Mr. Ked ney Burke. The latter saw him com ing. "Now. what's his game, anyways?'' thought Mr. Burke as he turned back once more to gaze uion the pipe. "Hello, small sir!" remarked the friend of mankind genially. "Merry Christinas!" "Aw," thought he small sir to him self, "what ye givin us? Why can't ye leave me alone V But be didn't say it. He simply looked up at the big man with a half coy. half frightened glance, more par ticularly to determine whether he might not be the police department In disguise. "Merry Christmas!" he returned, a bit wistfully as he thought he saw a possible opening of a pleasant na- i ture. "Well, my boy," continued the man. "what are you going to have for Christmas, anyway?" '"Christmas!" returned Kedney, with a slight variation from the truth. "We don't never have nothin' for Christmas, we don't." The man smiled a smile of pity. "Dear me," he remarked, half to him solf. "how true it is that one half of the world knows not how the other half lives." Then he raised his voice. "What would you say. small sir. if I should buy you some of those toys" He stopped as he gazed into the win dow. by, why. he went on, 1 thought this was a toy store that you were looking into!" " "Niivv," returned Kedney. "It's a to bacco store." "But but." continued the man, "you vou don't smoke tobacco. You cer tainly at your age cannot" "Vaw." returned Burke. "I don't. I I wasn't tmnkin' aoout meseii so much. I was thinkin' about me old father. lie broke his pipe last mont". un' lie ain't had none since, an' he's too poor to git anmider one. I was lookin' ut these. Gee! If I could git enough of the stuff together, I wouldn't do a thing but buy that there one for him me poor ole father." This was said with an air of the greatest frankness, although Mr. Ked ney Burke had always considered his father, as did many others, in the light of a genteel myth. Still he thought to himself that If he had a father and if he himself were worth a few million or so he might he didn't commit himself upon the subject, however, even in his thoughts he might blow his father to a pipe some time. This considerate sentiment, lie reasoned, justified his re ply to the philanthropist. "Well, well," remarked the latter. glancing down at the disinterested 8rt.cimen before him. "but what would you like to have now for Christmas?" Kedney shook his head. "I ain't per ticler about meself. If I could git th: oekh MOS HrTI il h Induces Restful SSeep You cannot expect to be strong and vigorous if you are unable to sleep. You get up feeling misera ble, have severe headaches, nerves are unstrung, appetite's poor and life seems a burden. The trouble lies in the stomach, and you ought to take Hostetter's Stomach Bitters at once. It will restore your stom ach to its normal condition, steady the nerves, stimulate the liver and HEARTBURN, NEB., Says: "I was troubled with Constipation and Biliousness, and t ijiirers prompii cured me. taere pipe any he acrci'vl as ne scent ed iossibilities heretofore unsuspected, "an a good bit of sniokin tobacco, an' one of them there rubber things to put it in say. If I could do that for the old man say! An wouldn't he feel stuck on bisself! But, gee, wot's de use? I can't do it, so I might as well be go In'." He made this last remark because he knew intuitively that brevity, which is the soul of wit, is also the essential in charitable enterprises, (iood Impulses don't last forever, so he moved off, shaking his head as he wont. The big man looked up and down .the street to see if he was olmcrved. then he stretched forth his hand and caught Rodney by the arm. "Here, my boy," he exclaimed gently as he shoved a live dollar bill Into Mr. Kedney Burke's reluctant grasp "here, go and get the pipe for your futher and then go ami get something for for yourself, and and have at least one happy Christmas that you can look back uiKin." 1 1 is eyes glistened a bit us lu said it. and. to his credit be it said, he did not regret the impulse or the do nation for 'a full two hours thereafter. "Tanks," said Mr. Burke, with a b.'t of a scrape and a stilT sort of bow "t'anks from me an me old man!" The next day there was a queer for mation in an unfrequented corner of the play yard of the Fourteenth ward school. This formation resembled more than anything else an F.skiino hut, but composed, instead of inanimate ma terial, of a very animated and interested crowd of boys gathered around a com mon center. From the aperture in the top of this human Eskimo dwelling, and therefore heightening the illusion, ascended a column of smoke, and as it ascended to the skies there came a voice from within. "Gee. fellers!" said the voice. "Gee, but ain't this great?" It was the voice of Mr. Kedney Burke, the votary of my Lady Nicotine, the center of an admir ing crowd. He smoked a pipe the pipe of his heart and he tilled it from a red rubber case. "Just tits in me pants pocket," he ob served. And as he said it he pulled out a few dollar bills and exhibited them. "An I got four more plunks left! What d'ye fink?" he said. Later, in the class room, the teacher lifted her head high in the air and suiiTcd! "Some boy," she remarked severely, "has been smoking. 1 want to know who it is." She looked not around the room but directly at r. Kedney Burke. He fair ly reeked with tobacco, and he knew it. Under the circumstances, therefore, he side stepped with alacrity into the aisle and looked squarely into the teacher's eyes. "Me old wo me mother,' he explain ed glibly "me mother had a smokiif jag on yestiddy, an 1 had to stay houie an fill her pipes, an' rue clo'es is full of it. It ain't me; it's her. D'ye see?" Then he whipped out a small, new leather poeketbook with a brand new penny in it and handed it over. "An' a merry Christinas to you. Miss Hurt whistle!'' he remarked. . IIoi-kc Racing?. In this world, if you live long enough, you will grow tired of everything men and women, of yachts and dinners, of politics and money making but when tho fascination of the race horse gets into the blood it never leaves. It is the greatest sport and the poorest business ever devised by man. I'ierre Borillard. oilier 0 O O o 0 0 O o o O 0 0 0 0 0 0 DYSPEPSIA, CONSTIPA- 0 0 0 TTFER'S I -9 YTti j i i The Coffee. . Heart. If you can't go up stairs or "hurry" without heart-palpitation- if you're troubled with shortness of breath easily winded the chances are that coffee is responsible. Coffee affects the nerves of the stomach and produces the most distressing form of heart trouble. Enjoy absolute relief from such disorders by quitting coffee and drinking Flavor and aroma delicious as that of the best coffee, inveterate coffee drinkers say that very little "tapering off" is required with " Mccon." It produces a healthy digestion and assimilation, puts the system in a normal condition and re-vitalizes tired nerves. T4US Cuatl US13TUIA 1-19 Central A CHARMING AMERICAN. Counteta I"abIi-icott i. Who Is a. C'uuniit of lrii(lrnt Ilooaevelt. Quite a stir was occasioned nraon society folk in New York and Wasli ington by the announeement of the marriaye of Miss Cornelia Koosevelt Seovel, second cousin of President Koosevelt, to Count Kiecardo l'abbri cotti, which took place a lew days ago it Florence, Italy. Countos.- Fabbricotli was born in Paris and has spent most of her life in Florence and Kome, though she is well known in this country, having made frequent visits here with her mother. mm a COUNTESS FABBEICOTTI. who was a Koosevelt. She is an ac complished musician and nt one time Intended to sing In grand opera. The countess Inherited her singing powers from lier father, Chevalier Scovel, who has been upou the operatic stage most of his life. .... Villa Terra za, the beautiful home of the Scovels in Florence, is the .gather ing place of the nobility and ro3-alty, to whom the fair American is known as "the little lady of Florence" becaus2 of her social tact, grace and wit. So Millionaire.,' No Progrf . A country without millionaires will have few If any railroads, no modern sanitation, none of the devices and as sistants of modern science. Poverty, ignorance, superstition and despotism are invariably the lot of the common people In any country where million aires have not appeared or do not re main. Nobody can do very much for himself without doing something for others. No man ever acquired a mil lion in legitimate business without benefiting the community perhaps to the extent of many millions. Millions nowadays can come only with an ac tive, exceptional capacity for success ful business. Snccessful business does not mean, as it did in the middle ages, the power to rob your neighbor. It means the power to serve the poolic better than your neigbtior can serve It 1 fci.fcniv 1 '."W: 1 .,.JUI,,:xliM; USaerlfed Iff Try this perfect substitute tor conce. I h-ive been a coffee drinker all my life and came from a family of cofTee drinkers. M3- head ached considerably end my toim-ue always had a heavy coating. Since usinS MOCON'-r.bout fix mor.th- the headaclu s have almost dapp.rart-d ami my tongue ha a more healthy appearance and is almost clear. 1 find myself hs nervous than usual. 1 drm hot in the morning and iced for the noon meal." JVae fumislieJ on request. Man's best drink Write for a trial City Cereal Coffee Co., Peoria, Necessarily this conies ttirougn trie ue velopincnt and use of superior machin ery or better methods for producing wealth and doing business. Guntou's Magazine. lltmannn, ot I'ajaiuaa. At a certain dinner party a cliarming young woman was seated next to an pxrceiliri'-lv leaf old man. She had I done her best to interest him. but had found it necessary to shout out each j remark unto the third and fourth nar ration oeroro me oiu man couiu euicu the point. So the time dragged along till the diuner was waning and the fruit was passed. The young woman determined to make a final effort at being agreeable, so she threw her voice into saying: "l) you like bananas?" "How's that?" asked her neighbor in a surprised tone. "Io you like bananas?" she repeated. "Well, iiiv dear." he replied, "so long ' as you have introduced the topic. I will 8ay that I much preler the old fashion ed nightshirt." WearlnoKH In Melnl.1. It has Itccn found that when animal matter (for instance, a muscle or nerve) ! is repeatedly Irritated its sensitiveness j wears off nTter a time. The deflection of the galvanometer needle is feebler ! and feebler. In fact, the muscle or nerve begins to show signs of fatigue. In the human !ody, of course, this fa tigue is quite obvious. If we use a particular muscle or nerve continuous; ly without giving it time to rest its original action soon becomes enfeebled. Professor Hose finds that metals be tray exactly the same signs of fatigue under repeated irritation. A. S. K. Ghosh in Pearson's Magazine. PcHninilxtlo Oiitlnnk. Prospective Patron What modern languages do you teach here? College President (fifty years hence) All the leading ones except English. Prospective Patron Except English? How is that? College President We have aban doned the effort to keep up with It. Our standard dictionaries now contain sev eral million words principally slang, sir: principally slang and there is a new one born Into the language every minute in the day. Chicago Tribune. Two Doaea Daily Cnouffb. Hewitt Kruet used to le a big eater, but now he has only two meals a day. Jewett You know the reason, don't you ? Hewitt No: what is it? Jewett The doctor gave him some medicine to take after each meal. Brooklyn Life. A Little Glutton. Papa Tommy, you mustn't eat so much. Everybody will be calling you a little "glutton." Do you know what that is? Tommy I suppose it's a big glutton's little boy. Philadelphia Ledger. Rome people are slow, but sure, but it's different with clocks. Philadelphia Record. Ask your grocer package. FREE. I!!s., U. S. A.i MISS MAY A Society Belle of nTIISS MAY M ARKELL jg o London, Ontario, ' Canada, ia a beauti- iui girl who knows what suffering is and Wine of Cardui has brought her hack to health. She is one of the social favorites of her home and ber recovery to health has permitted her to enjoy the company of her many friends instead of lyinjr on a bed of sickness 4nd suffering. For the health she now enjoys she gives credit to Wine of CarJui. She writes: "I have found "Wice of Cardui an excel lent remedy for female trouble. I suffered for three years with terrible bearing-down pains at the menstrual period. I could hardly stand on ray feet and was never real well. Wine of Cardui was the only medicine that I could depend on to do me any good, as I tried several with no suc cess. Wine of Cardui cured me and I have now enjoyed psrfect health for two years, and give you all the credit for I know you deserve it." For a young girl Wine of Cardui is the best remedy to guide her through womanhood by starting the menstrual iff v v r Mist Nay SlarhtlL WINEofCAfLDVI KWMiWM1 tonic t Sl I nursing FJS ' druggists sell it. Frepu.a by the I Anheuser i B. WINTER. X Wholesale Dealer In PURE WINES AND LIQUOES. l WAUKESHA AND COLFAX MINERAL f : WATER. Z I fuufeLucM of WIM'hfl'S CELKliliAlkllt liiTTfcKS t t 1116-1318 TMrd Avenue, Rock 4 Island, IlL 5 ?V;Jiin in M ARKELL, London Canada. flow in a healthy and nat ural manner. Menstruation started right i3 very easy to keep regular through the j-ears of mature womanhood. Then the "change of life" need not be feared. Thus "Wine of Cardui is woman's best relief from youth to old age. A million women have secured blessed relief from their sufferings by tak ing this treatment. It relieves men strual troubles in an incredibly short time. In a simple case of deranged menses Wine 6t Cardui never fails. To relieve disordered menses is to remove the cause of other female troubles. Any physician will tell you that to remove the cause of a disease renders the cure easy, in fact seldom fails to complete the cure. If you would have the same relief which Mifi3 Markell secured try Wine of CarJui. You can take it with out an examination and without any publicity whatever. You can take it in the privacy of your home and secure just as much benefit as if a doctor had prescribed it for you. Thousands of wo men are feeling the vigor of returning health by taking Wine of Cardui. A million suffering women have found relief in Wine of Cardui. Growing Old Gracefully and Healthfully The infirmities of old age are successfully combated by the use of vMHEUSER-Bfe... TMAOC MARK. The Food-Drink. properties are invalua- mothers, little children - Busch Brewing Ass'n St. Louis, U. S. A. - j . v;M:..,-A ' i