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THJS ARGKCTS, SATURDAY, JUNE 18, 1904.
PUNS AND PROMOTIONS.
It's enough to drive any one on the war path
impure baking powder.
Food prepared with Calumet Baking Powder is pure and health
ful. free from rVochelle salts, lime, alum and ammonia.
PURITY AND CLEANLINESS
as to persona are bo much a
matter of good bathing equip
ment that I wish to emphasize
onr facilities fr outfitting bath
rooms with the best and most
sanitary apparatus. In such
ases it is to your highest inter
est to consult us, see samples
here and get our estimate free
STENGEL, 15he Plumber
Cotton, High Grade,
CHANNON, PERRY 6c CO.,
Davis Block. Old Thone 11481. New C144 112 West Seventeenth St.
Chicago Denta' Company
Office 1607i Second Av.
and removal f serves dene by DS, and
the best and mot careful treatment
given to nil cases.
"We have a patent tliin elastic plate
with natiiral jmiiis that fit in all cases
and when others fail. We use no cheap
material in our ofBcc for our work is
al! guaranteed to he eiial to the liiirli
est priced dentists and to be first class
in ev rv respect. N'otiee our prices be
low, they an always the same:
Cement til lines $ '
Gold platinum tilling .r0
Sil ver-4"'"- 5
;id BTOngs, i and rip 1.00
Gold Crowns ESk, and $5 4.oo
Thin Klasti.- plate- 10.00
Best Bed Bobber Plates M8
OFFICE i(7'.. SKCOM) AVENUE,
Over Spidt-1 s lrug Store.
Dr S C. Marshall.
John Volk 6c Co.,
Dealers in single and double strength
Blinds and Mouldings, entered and
Hardwood Flooring of all kinds.
Dealer in single and double strength
Window Glass, Polished Plate, Beveled
Plate and Art Glass.
311 and 329
BOCK ISLAND. : : : ILLINOIS.
Don't Be Fooled!
Genuine ROCKY MOUNTAIN TEA
I. pat up in white pack. nts. tnanufactiirej
exclusively by the Jttadisoa Medicine
Co.. Naduon. If "it. 5Hs at 35 cent .1
package. All others are rank imitation.-,
and substitutes, don't risk your hch bv
taking- them . TMLGKN. (Ne mane sick
peapla Well. Keops ou Well. AU Honest
Dealers fell the Genuine.
Charles E. Hodgson,
American Ins. Co Newark. N. J.
Continental New York
Agricultural Now York
Traders' Ins. Co Chicago. 111.
Williams burg Ins. Co Now York
Now Hampshire Ins. Co
North Geraaan Ins. Co New York
tm l iran Ins. Co. . . . Philadelphia. Pa.
Security Ins. Co. ..New Haven, Conn,
ins Co. State or IDbsoia. .Rockford, III.
Offi-e. room ''. Buford block. Rates
as low as consistent with security.
J. M. BUFORD
The Id fire and time-tried companies
represented. Kates as low ss
any reliable sompany
VOf'R PATRONAGE IS SOLICITED.
HOLUSTER DRLKj CO. Maiison, Wis
Clersrymem Who Have Been He-warded
For Their Kaeettoaanesa.
Canon Melville owed his earliest pro
motion to a pun, says a London joui
nal. When the late Earl of Dudley,
who knew Mr. Melville sufficiently to
remember that his Christian name was
David, had a living at his disposal he
received a letter containing only the
words, "Lord, remember David." The
earl's reply was no less terse and Scrip
tural: -Tiwuurt the man:"
Perhaps the earliest instance of ec
clesiastical promotion won by a pun is
that of a curate named Joseph, who
was prompted by Swift to take this
text for a sermon preached in St. Pat
rick's cathedral. Dubliu. before the
viceroy. "Butler," the Duke of Or
mond. "Yet did not the chief Butler
remember Joseph, but forgat him."
The Rev. Dr. Mountain, who was the
son of a beggar, owed nearly every
step of his successive promotions in
great part to his facetiousness and
wou the last step of all by a single
Jest. When he was consulted as bishop
of Durham by George II. as to the fit
test person to fill the Vacant urcuiepis
copal see of York he replied: "Sir,
hadst thou faith :is a gr:iin of mustard
seed thou wouldst say to this Moun
tain (dramatically striking his breast).
"Be thou removed and east into this
sea (see.' " That George II. should
so understand and appreciate the Joke
as to accept its suggestion is perhaps
the strangest part of the story.
Apropos of puns, promotion and the
see of York, here is a good story of a
living given by an archbishop of York
In reward for an Impertinent personal
pun. The archbishop. Sir William
Dawes, entertained his clergy at din
ner shortly after the death of his wife.
Mary, who appears to have been a reg
ular Mrs. Proudie at once to his grace
and to the diocese. At dinner the arch
bishop apologized, with a sigh, for
things not beint; in the apple pie order
that prevailed when his dear, dead
wife, Mary, was alive. Being himself an
inveterate punster, he udded, with a
sad shake of his bead. "She. indeed. was
Mare Pncifli-uni!" A curate who knew
too well whnt a tartar the deceased
lady was rejoined, "Aye. my lord, but
she was first Mare Mortuum:" and was
absolutely and immediately rewarded
by the archbishop for this impertinent
pun with a living of 500 a rear.
lae I "or a Little Orphan.
Some years ago one of the charitable
societies of Iowa sent a number of
orphans to one of the towns of the
state for distribution among childless
people. The distribution aroused much
interest in the village. As the orphans
were being given to those who wanted
to adopt children a little resident of
the town ran up to her mother and
"Oh. mamma. I wish you would take
a little orphan girl I"
"But, my dear," replied tbje mother.
"I have you. What do I want with an
"I know you have inc." said the lit
tle girl, "but you might want to have
a funeral, and you could use the little
orphan girl instead of me."
A Royal Clock.
There are nearly 2.T0 c locks at Wind
sor castle and about 1 in Bucking
ham palace. One of the most interest
ing of those at Windsor is in a gilt
metal case given by Henry VIII. to
Anne Boleyn on the morning of their
wedding. It is ten inches high and is
engraved with the royal arms of Kng
land quartered with those of France.
The lead weights are engraved with
true lovers' knots and "II. A. Dieu et
Mon Droit" at the base. This clock,
which at one time lecaiue the property
of Horace Walpole, was bought by
Queen Victoria. It has survived four
centuries, but four years only marked
the duration of the royal love of Dea
ry and Anne Boleyn.
How Holland Treat Paapera.
There nre few nblebodicd paiirers in
Holland. A tract of public laud con
taining 5.000 SCreS Is divided into six
model farms, to one of which the per
son applying for public relief is sent.
Here he is taught agriculture and is
subsequently permitted to rent a small
farm for himself. Holland also has a
forced labor colony, to which vagrants
ure sent to do farm and other work,
whether they like it or not.
A t.onc Lived Pike.
In the museum at Mannheim there
was a skeleton of a pike which meas
ured nineteen feet and hast a ring
around it with this inscription in
Greek: T am the fish which was first
of all put into the lake by the hands of
the governor of the universe. Frederick
IL. the 5th of October. 1230." The fish,
haviug been caught in 1497, was 207
years old. London Standard.
"Up Agin" a Good Thing
a man is when he commences to
patronize the American Steam
Lanndrv. "The best laundry I ever
struck'' is what those who indulpe
in a little slang would say. But
entre nous if vou want vonr linen
as faultless as when vou first bought
it, in color and hnish, we will guar
antee to do it to your satisfaction
every time. Careful handling and
artistic work are among oar up-to-date
Twelfth Street and Fifth Aran aa.
Made Sore of the Firat Reajvlatte.
Betty So Maud Is engaged? Well.
I'm sorry for the man. She doesn't
know the first : '.ins about keeping
! house. liessie Ob. yes. she does: Bet
tyI'd like to know what. liessie The
first thing is to get a man to keep
house for. Harper's Bazar.
la Serlooa Trouble
"She's in a frightful dilemma."
"Why. Jack proposed to her last
night and insists upon having an an
swer before she will have time to
learn whether Tom intends to pro
pose." Chicago TosL
Corsets I wish there was some way
to make him stop buying expensive
presents. Mae You might marry bim.
It is a wise man who knows his own
business, and it is a wiser man who
thoroughly attends to it. Wayland.
CHINA AND GLASSWARE.
A Good Deal Depende I pon the War
Thej- Are Washed.
There is nothing which delights the
heart of the housewife more than pret
ty china, sparkling glass and bright
silver pieces for the dinner table. It
is not considered necessary to have
all the pieces match, and if collected
whenever opportunity is offered one
will scarcely miss what they cost
Bowls and sauce dishes In many pret
ty shapes may be obtained in plain
tableware or beautifully decorated.
The preservation of decorated china
depends a great deal upon the way it
is washed. This task is quickly ac
complished, and if the proper utensils
are provided it is not a disagreeable
one. Tin dishpans wear out so quick
ly that it seems a waste of money to
buy them. Galvanized Iron is bard to
keep clean, while granite ware seems
to be the perfect material for the pur
pose. Two pans are needed, one for
washing, the other for rinsing, and a
iarger tray a rack is better should
be provided for draining.
Use water that Is as hot as the hands
ran bear comfortably and add enough
powdered soap to make a good suds.
Have a clean dishcloth or mop and all
the clean, dry towels necessary. Wash
the glasses first, dip them in the pan
of rinsing water and dry immediately.
Then wash and dry the silver, after
that the china cups, saucers, plates
and larger dishes In the order named.
Silverware that is treated in this way
will be kept so bright that it will not
be necessary to use the silver polish
oftener than once iu two weeks. Chi
Free with Next Sunday's
A Handsome Colored Portrait
DUST IS DANGEROUS.
Be Carefnl How Yon Send It Klyinc
A bout the Haute.
Whether the bacilli that cause tuber
culosis in the human being are the
same as those which cause it in other
warm blooded animals and even fish
or whether they merely change their
appearance with their environment Is
a question for the bacteriological ex
pert. That we may become infected
from other nnlmals has not the vital
interest that the undoubted fact has
that we can and do become infected by
the germs that other men carry about
and that the home, the place where we
take refuge from the Ills of life. Is
precisely where this dread disease at
Inside the four walls of our houses
is where these deadly germs are im
planted, are nurtured and bring forth
their harvest. It is at home we must
begin to defend ourselves. It Is the
part of wisdom to do away with dust
catching draperies and carpets. Have
the rugs shaken and beaten out of
doors. If you must have carpets,
sweep them with wet tea leaves sprin
kled on them. Wipe the furniture with
a moist cloth; don't flirt the dust about
with a bunch of feathers on a stick.
Dust is dangerous. Remember that.
Better to have some critic write
"Sloven" in the dnst upon the mantel
piece than cloud the air with it and
poison your whole family. Every
THE HOME DOCTOR.
Talpltation of the heart may be ar
rested by bending down so as to allow
the blood to run to the head.
It is said that a muskrat skin worn
the fur side next to the lungs will
bring certain relief to asthma suffer
ers. Foultlces of hot baked onions will
not only relieve earache, but will some
times cure the deafness that results
from earache and hard colds.
Blisters which form after burns or
scalds should be pricked immediately,
the water squeezed out and pressed
down gently with cotton wool.
The skin of a boiled egg Is the most
efficacious remedy that can be applied
to a boil. Peel it carefully, wet and
apply to the part affected. It will
draw off the matter and relieve the
soreness In a few hours.
The Fisnre and Walking.
A woman who leads a very active
life has a theory that the preservation
of a good figure depends to some extent
on the manner of walking. Many peo
ple, she says, as tbey advance in years
allow themselves to walk heavily and
without elasticity, so that the whole
weight rests on the lower part of the
limbs at every 6tep, the only effect of
exercise being weariness of the legs
and feet. Instead of this the body
should be held erect and poised so as
to have a perfect balance. In this way
the muscles are braced and strength
ened throughout, the lungs must of ne
cessity be well expanded, and it seems
quite reasonable to suppose that the
tendency to Increase the weight may
be checked. At all events a lighter tttep
and a brisker and more enjoyable man
ner of walking can be kept up, and
that in itself is a very great gain.
Here is a simple and available recipe
a medicinal bath for the nervously
worn and those who cannot sleep of
nights. It was the prescription of an
old physician. Becipe: Take of wea
salt four ounces; spirits of ammonia,
two ounces; spirits of camphor, two
ounces; of pure alcohol, eight ounces,
and sufficient hot water to make a full
quart of the liquid. Dissolve the sea
salt in the hot water and let stand un
til cool. Pour into the alcohol the spir
its of ammonia and camphor. Add the
salt water, shake well and bottle for
use. With a soft sponge dipped in this
mixture wet over the surface of the
whole body. Rub vigorously until the
skin glows. When nervous or "blue"
or wakeful do not omit the bath. The
rest and refreshing that follow will
amply repay the effort required to pre
SUITABLE FOR FRAMING.
Together with a special four-page supplement .magazine de
scribingthe events of the President's romantic life as scnolar, soldier,
sportsman, and statesman.
This will inaugurate a series of special supplements dealing
with men and measures of today, describing the romance of science
and invention and pointing out the
Road to Success.
All of the other features will be preserved, including
Trie Colored Magazine Supplement.
The Colored Comic Supplement.
Among the articles in the issue of June 19 will be:
A summer resort where no men are wanted.
Why 10,000 chorus girls are out of work.
A page of portraits of beautiful actresses.
The newest blouses illustrated in colors.
"When the Ship Came Home," a thrilling and romantic fiction
story by W. Newman Flower.
A story by O. Henry, the best of magazine writers of fiction.
Order from Your Newsdealer Today..
Personality of tli "Inn Who Waa
Coptnrril Willi lerUicariH.
When Ralsuli. the brigand chief, seiz
ed the American citizen. Ion IVnlicaris,
and carried him off Into captivity In the
mountain fastnesses of Morocco, he al
so captured Cromwell Varley, the step
son .of Mr. PerrUcarte, and took him
nln::;: to the bandit stronghold. Fer
ba a he did this out of consideration
for the comfort and health of his chief
captive, thinking that the hitter's cou
finement in the inaccessible wilds of
the UifT country would be less Irksome
to him were he accompanied by the
younger man. The brigand chief had
often been the cuest oC the hospitable
Beer is Good forYou
CBOUmLL VA P.I. ET.
Tenlicaris. whose residence in the out
skirts of Tangier was a very popular
resort. Although he had decided to
make his friend a prisoner it is pos
sible, as there is honor even among
thieves, that he wished to make the
episode as agreeable as he could under
the -ire-urns t a "ajjs to one TChojSsj-ktari'U
l is host. II ir. 'treatment of TefiTl?nris
and Varley is reported to have been
o;:s:derate since they have been in
captivity. Varley has been accustomed
to look after the Perdlcaris property in
Tangier and has been an important
mcpiber of the family. lie is married
and has two daughters Just approach
The brigand chief, the Kaid Sidi Mo
hammed M Hauk Ilaisuli, is a pictur
esque character and Is very powerful
among the tribesmen of the mountains.
On his visits to the Perdicaris home
he often rode a milk white mule with
crimson trappings and was attended
All the news ail the time The Argus.
The malt is a food; the hops
a tonic. The alcohol only 3 per cent is
an aid to digestion; a healthful stimulant.
Schlitz Beer is brewed with the extreme of
cleanliness cooled in filtered air and
every bottle is sterilized.
It is one of the best things in the world for you.
It does not ferment on the stomach, because it
is aged aged for months in refrigerating
rooms before it is marketed.
It gives you beer without biliousness. Ask
k your doctor what he thinks about drinking
I Schlitz beer. Ask for
the Brewery Bottling.
Theme 1011 ana 5830,
Carse St Oblwciler Co. ,
42.V431 Kleventh St .
Roclc Island, 111.
Jhe Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous
We have so much faith in tho merit of
Rat and Roach Paste
that we have offered $100 reward to
anyone who uses it and does not find it
successful in killing off rats, mice, cock
roaches, water bugs, etc. Stearns'
Electric Rat and Roach Paste is sure
death and gives universal satisfaction. The
peculiar chemical in this article is of such
a nature that it drives rats and mice out of
the house gasping for air and water, when
they die outside and are immediately con
sumed. It is an absolute exterminator of
these dangerous pes is.
Small Size, 25 Cents
Hotsl Sizs (eight times the quantity), tl.00.
All dealers sell it or sent express
prepaid on receipt of price.
STEARNS' ELECTRIC PASTE CO.,
Tribune B nlldiug, CHICAGO, ILL. U
SOLD BY T. 11. THOMAS.
A Smiling: Face
signifies robust health and good
digestion. You can always
carry a smiling face in spite of
Care and worry if you keep
your liver right and your
digestion good by using -
ROCK ISLAND SAVINGS BANK
ROCK ISLAND, ILL.
Incorporated Under tlie 8tate Law, 4 Per Cent
Intorest Paid on DeponitH.
Mr.npy Losnod on Personal Collateral or Real Estate Security.
J. M. Buford, President.
John Crubaiih, Vice President.
P. Orenawalt. Cashier.
Began the business July 2, 1890,
nd occupying" S. E. corner of
Mitchell & Ljnde'a new building.
R. B. Cable,
H. P. Hull,
E. W. Burst,
Solictors Jackson and Hurst
J. M. Buford,
Sold Everywhere. In boxes 10c. and 23c.