Newspaper Page Text
THE ARGUS. MOXDAV. FEBRUARY 25, 1907.
the arc; US.
Published Daily and Weekly nt 1624
Second nvontie. Rock Island, III. I En
tered nt tlie postoffloe us second-class
By THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS Daily, 10 cents per week.
Weekly, $1 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
have real nante attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence oolicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
TR APES i awe i j C0UNCIL
Monday, Feb. 25, 1907.
Boost, don't l:uork; lilt, don I lc-.r.i
Sunday made $G,0iiii out
good loig enough and
she l'.ad boon
went . back to
James Hill says the
perity are be-in reefed,
mem must be brewing
soils of pros
A bear mov
To promote Rock Island's highest
Rtiod. commercially and industrially as
well as morally, there must be civic
pride, accompanied by public spirit
Rockefeller's lawyers say his in
come is only $ir..0nit,iMM a year. Even
thi would be welcomed hy most nun.
with the Easter h;!t season about t j
Harriman, Rockefeller and Sciiiff
are to appear on the witness stand
In a X( w York court room, and
stock ticker should be placed beside
the judge's bench
Ex-Got. ernor Frederick Mo!';rook of
Vermont and ex-Governor William
Sprague of Rhode slatid are the only
living war governors in the Tinted
States. Mr. llolbroolc celebrated his
lUth birthday a few days ago.
Pennsylvania members of congress
are beginning to take ihe Knox presi
dential boom seriously. The senator
himself pays little or no attention io
it, and when spoken to regarding tho
matter merely says: "Tut. tut." The
movement appears to have progressed
far enough to indicate that the Penn
sylvania delegation will be instruct d
for him. and that it will be for Knox
"first, last, ami all the time.
Marie Edwina Rosalie Booth, daugh
ter of Junius Brutus and Harriet A! ;ce
Booth, a niece of Edwin Booth and a
third cousin of the richest, we man in
tho world, Hetty Green, is organizing
in Boston a great Booth revival. E.!
wina Booth was boni' in San Francisci
and was christianeil there'. Edwin For
rest and his wife standing as the god
parents. When a little lot she was
eent to the Notre Dame convent in
Philadelphia, where she remained un
til she was IS.
Late reports from Washington indi
cate that an arrangement has been
erfected by means of which it is
heiped to jam the ship subsidy bill
through the ho-ise at night session,
if one hundred republican represent
atives can be prevailed upon to enter
th? conspiracy and thus secure the
necessary quorum. This proposed
after-dark burglarious assault on Ihe
federal treasury has a certain appro
priateness. Th? l-ittauer bill will not
successfully l)-ir daylight sen. tiny.
A Xew York theater has hit upon a
new device to focus public attention
upon itself. It has established an "es
cort service." consisting of a cevrps jf
uniformed attendants whose function
it. is to conduct to their homes after
the performan-j" women who visit the
playhouse unaccompanied. The idea
is regarded as a clever advertising de
vice; but it i3 noteworthy that, the
newspapers are depended upon to fur
nish the publicity. In the last analy
sis innovations In practically all lines
of business are of value only in so
far as the public is made acquainted
with them through the medium of the
Will Freight Kates ;o I'p?
Will freight rates go up? asks th?
St. Ixmls Globe-Democrat. It says the
threat by many railroad chiefs that
freight rates will be advanced may
turn out to be true. Representatives
of most, of the trunk lines have been
conferring in Chicago on that subject
and further consultations are arranged
for. The country is beginning to tako
these threats of advances a little more
seriously than it did a few weeks ago,
when James J. Hill first began fo
Several reasons are assigned for the
contemplated pushing of rates upward.
The advances in wages and in the
cost of all sorts of material have -e-duced
the net earnings of most of the
big roads. The gross income Is at a
high level, but the outgo has increased
to such an extent that the margin of
profit is diminishing. The anti-railroad
fall; in congress and the legisla
ture is creating an alarm which makLs
ir harder for the roads to borrow
money to make needed improvements,
than it was once. These are the lead
ing reasons which are given for tne
threats of advances in freight rates.
Very likely ihe 2-eent-a-mile passenger
fare bills which are before several
legislatures, and which have passed
several of them, have helped to incite
this movement by the roads to in
crease their freight charges.
The country would be sorry to see
anything added to the present tran-v-
portation rates. Moreover, any addi
tion of that sort would probably .s?
cure the immediate attention of the in
terstaie commerce commission under
the new rate regulation act. The ra
way chiefs may be correct in saying
that the advances which are contem
plated would add hundreds of millions
to their gross income. But they would
also add to their outgo. The attacks
lo which t lie roads would lay them
selves op n by this course would ham
per then, and would diminish the ben
efits which l hey expect to get.
(inivi'i-im Party "Whip."
Former President G rover Cleveland
in his Washington birthday celebration
address in Chicago Friday night,
among other things, said:
"We have fallen upon a time when
it behooves every thoughtful citizen
whose political beliefs are based on
reason ami who cares enough for hi
manliness and duly to save them from
barter, to realize that the organization
of the party of his choice needs watch
nig, anil mat at tunes it is not amiss
critically to observe its direction and
tendency. This certainly ought to result
in our country's gain, and it is only par
tisan impudence that condemns a mem
ier ot a political party, who on proper
occasion submits its conduct and the
loyalt.v to principle of its lead- rs to
court ot review over wnicii ins con
science, his reason, and his political
Commenting on the former chief
magistrate's utterances, the Springfield
Register, one of the oldest and staunch
est democratic papers in the state, now-
opposing the reelection of the present
democratic mayor of Springfield, says
in uiKing t no stand ine state uegis
ter has taken in this present municipal
mayoralty campaign, we have done so
with the one desire of serving Spring-
field, and we believe io support Mayor
Devereux. who has not faithfully serv
ed eipnngiH'ld and the city s interests
would not only be wrong froiu econom
ic and moral standpoints, but eminent
ly undemocratic. We ask democrats
and republicans, men of all parties, to
submit the conduct and disloyalty of
machine leaders to a court of review-
over wnicn conscience, reason and un
derstanding shall preside. That is all
that is necessary to prove that machine
and gang rule is wrong. We have had
enough of it under such administra
tions as those of Wheeler. Phillips and
Devereux. We will have the same son
oi government under tinnitus who is
but a mere tool in the hands of the sul
livan machine "bosses." Wnat lovalty
to principle is that back of the Dover
eux or Griffiths machines? That is the
question lo place before the board o
review a' which conscience, reason am
understanding shall preside.
"G rover Cleveland makes no mistake
when he argues that political organiza
itons are a menace to their follovvin
when they disregard principle."
Xo Need for (inns.
Actual views of the new country
will cause a rude shock to that party
of Indiana and Kentucky bomeseeker
wno imagine that all one needs lo "t
along in Oklahoma is a good gun."
Foreigners' who believe that th
wild Indian still reams about America
aro about as well informed as this
men who armed themselves to the
teem uciore s;:.rtiiig lor their new
A big surprise is in store for the.-
pioncers when tney stop off the tram
is what Mrs. Lucy
StovalI,of Tilton, Ga
said after taking
Kodol for Dys
stored to perfect
health by this rem
edy. YOU may ba
well if you will take
nearly all the sick
ness that women
have. It deprives the system of nourish
ment and the delicate organs peculiar to
women suffer weaken, and be ;oma
enables the stomach and digestive organs
to digest and assimilate all of the whole
some food that may be eaten. It nourishes
the body, and rebuilds the weak organs,
restoring health and strength. Kodol
relieves indigestion.constipation, dyspepsia,
sour risings, belching, heartburn and all
Digests What You Eat
our itoaach, b.lch
Ing of k. etc
Proporod t tho Lab
oratory of B.O.DoWitt
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
I I 1 SSi'
it Tulsa or Muskogee, or any other
of the big towns down there, lustea.
of mixing with bad men they will have
lifficulty keeping out of the way of
Instead of "bivouacking in. a blanket
beneath the stars they will retire omy
after being whirled in an electric el?-
vator to i he top of a modern hotel.
Xo yelping coyotes will keep them
awake, but the whistles of locomotiv es
may disturb their slumbers if they
ire not. sound sleepers.
They will find plenty of agents eag-:-r
to show them suitable farms, on whicn
ihev will have Utile trouble borrowing
These men could have invested thei"
substaiwe in a better way than buying
firearms. The days of successful gun
play in the southwest have passed.
AUTOMOBILE MILK WAGON.
Departure of a Millionaire Farm
er In Jersey.
Hamilton McK. Twombly, whose es
tute, Florham. is located near Madi
son, X. J., bus long been the object of
wonder to nearby farmers on account
of his modern methods, aud now Ihe
millionaire owner of the largest farm
in Morris county has surprised them
again. Hereafter part of bis milk
route will be covered b an automobile
milk wagon, built on novel lines espe
cially for the work for which it will be
The milk routes in the Madison sec
tion of the state of Xew Jersey are
long, and when the roads are bad it is
sometimes necessary for those on the
frontier of the route to have a late
breakfast on account of the failure of
the cream to appear ou schedule time.
The automobile idea Is intended to
remedy this, and several dairy men In
the section have announced their inten
tion to follow up Mr. Twotnbly's plan.
The shout of the milkman at the door
just after daybreak will give way to
the tout of an automobile siren or horn
The automobile milk wagon will have
chauffeur, a mechanic ami a man to
look after the measuring and delivery
of the milk from the car when It stops
in front of a house.
GIRL'S WILD RIDE.
South Dakota Maiden Rode a
Bull to Death.
Miss Mam! Deroe, a young woman
living on the prairie west of Midland,
S. P.. threw herself upon the back of
an enraged bull the other day aud rode
the beast until be became exhausted
aud dienj, says a Midland correspond
ent of the Tucson Citizen.
The bull made a vicious attack upon
Miss Deroe when she was walkiag
across the prairie alone and unarnu'd.
The young woman, unable to make her
escape, stood her ground and offered
the enraged beast battle. After a
brief and desperate struggle Miss De
roe, by an almost superhuman effort,
threw herself upon the back of tie
bull. The beast tried hard to throw
her. but she was reared on the prairie
and had ridden wild horses from the
time she was a child, ami she mad
shift to keep her seat.
Finding that she could not be un
seated, the maddened beast started to
run at the top of his speed, and lie ran
thus with the girl clinging to his back
until be finally fell to the ground with
blood streaming from bis mouth and
nose, utterly exhausted.
The bull died soon afterward. The
girl was uninjured by her wild ride.
She was painfully hurt before she got
astride of the bull's back.
To say that America has produced
no great writers is not saying very
much. There are inanv other forms of
greatness besides those provided by
literature, and uo visitor to America
could be otherwise than struck by the
Indications of achievement that be sees
on all sides of him, snvs Clement Short
er In the London Sphere. To say
therefore, that America has produced
no great writers Is only to say that the
conditions have, for the present nt
least, gone by under which any coun
try can produce great writers. When
the conquest of all the forces of nature
that the last half century has seen has
completed Itself we may have another
great literary epoch in England and In
America, but this is not the time for It.
Chance For Elephant Tamers.
in view or tne fact tnat a young
African elephant bad recently been
trained on the Indian model and tf
the utility of the tamed elephant In
India, especially in Burma, where thev
are used iu the teak industry to n very
large extent, the chairman and vl"e
chairman of the African trade section
of the I JveriKHiI chamber of commerce
have announced their Intention, savs
the Rhodesia Herald, of offering
prize of .r for each of the firs ten
west African elephants successfully
ramei ana trained to act as carriers
and animals of burden similar to the
elephants In Burma.
Neighbors Got Fooled.
I was literally coughing myself to
death, and had become too weak to
leave my bed; and neighbors predicted
that I would never leave it alive; but
they got fooled, for thanks be to God,
was induced to try Dr. King's Xew Dis
covery. It took just four one dollar
bottles to completely cure the cough
and restore me to good sound health,'
writes. Mrs. Eva Uncapher. of Grover-
town. Stark county, Ind. This king of
cough and cold cures, and healer of
throat and lungs. Is guaranteed by V
T. Hartz, druggist, 301 Twentieth
street. DOc and $1. Trial bottle free
Kennedy's Laxative Cough" Syrun
Safe and sure In its action; pleasant
to take, uoniorms to national Dure
I food and drug law. Sold by all druggists.
DA I Y. STORY.
Gordon Wynne, a young Georgia
plauter, a lovable fellow, but, like
most lovable people, a poor financial
manager, was being tried for ejecting
an othcer of the law who had levied
ou his household effects under a chat
tel mortgage. Zacbery Taylor, an old
darky, who had beeu a slave ou the
plantation before Gordon Wynne was
born, was called for the prosecution
and took the stand.
"Uncle Zacbery," said the prosecutor,
"were you on the plantation ou the
loth of June lastV"
Zac looked bard at the ceiling, aa If
trying to remember. "War that befo'
de full ob de moon, sab?"
"Why do you ask that, uncle?"
"Beca'se 1 plants mail gya'den 'boot
dat time nebber on de runout ob de
The attorney paused. "Your honor,'
he said, "1 ask your indulgence. I
shall have difficulty with the witness
on account of bis superstition, which
alwavs goes baud iu baud with ig-
Sup'sticion!" exclaimed Zac. "Yo'
plant ou de dark ob de moou an yo
ee wha' yo git"
The questioner concluded to try an
Iid you ever see this man." posit
ing at the rather despicable lo-tkiug
deputy, "who says tbut Mr. ynue
"What was be doing?"
"He come to mab cabiu and wanted
to gib me two bits to let inui into
The questioner bit his lip, looked
down at his toes, theu up with a sickly
mile, and proceeded:
"Did you see him at any other time?"
"What was he doing then?"
"He was walkiu' up to mars' house.
He tuk a pistol otiteu he pocket au
looked at de primin", den put It back
wha' be tuk it from."
The jury gave way to a smile, the
attorney forced u smile, aud the ex
amination was renewed.
We shall get at the lxttotn of this
matter presently," the attorney saia,
trying to make a show of confidence.
Now, Zac, state what you saw after
the gentleman reached the house."
I went Into mah cabin. I heered a
barkin' outside and went out to see
wha' de inatteh. I saw dat mau run
n!u wid he coat tails fly in' behind
him, de dog keepiu' in deir shaddeb.
De gen'leman didn wait to go through
de gate respectable-like. He jump de
fence. De dog got de coat tail."
The attorney for the defense inter
rupted: "It should Ite noted that it was
the dog and not my client that relieved
the plaintiff of a part of his clothing."
The prosecutor was getting angry.
"Did you see.Mf.i Wynne stand ou
the gallery ami shake his list nt the
No, sah; I went back into de cabin
befo' I saw dat."
You mean you did see it."
Was there not a window In your
cabiu through which you could see- the
"Did you look toward the house?"
'State what you saw."
"I saw misses callin' off tie dog."
Foiled again, the attorney pretended
to le looking for a paper on the table
lieside biiu to gain time to frame an
other attack. This he made ou a dif
Zacbery, do you understand what
au oath Is?"
"Yes, sah; I's swo'e myself."
"Ou the Bible?"
"No, sah; it was when dat low down
poo wuite one eel me de two hits.
Another pause aud snickers from all
present except the attorney for the
Do you know that if you tell the
court a He you will have to go to jail
"I wouldn' lie nohow."
"State under eatb, mind you
whether you saw Mr. Wynne strike
"Fo' de Lawd. I didn'."
"Or kick him?"
The w itness showed plainly that the
question was likely to wreck his efforts
to save the case for his lieloved mas
ter. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling,
then lowered them to the floor. Then
he said feebly:
"I saw dat specermou ob a poo white
A gleam of joy lighted the ques
"Dunno. When I was lookln' froo
mah cabin winda I saw de poo' white
gen'leman crnnlu through de do' lak a
rocket ou de Fo'tu o' July. A lioot
come afte' him, llftiti hlui uude' de
coat tails. He come down without
louchin' none ob de steps on de gal
"To the best of your knowledge and
belief, to whom did that lot belong?"
"It didn't belong to Mars' Wynne."
"How do you know that?"
"'Case it's mah wo'k to keep mars'
boots sblned up. an' dere wan't no
sblne on dat boot nohow."
There being no other witnesses, the
prosecutor rested his ease The coun
sel for the defense rose and said that
since the witness bad told all th de
fense wished to establish, they, too,
would rest on his evidence. The Jury,
whose sympathies were with Gordon
Wynne, found a loophole for him In
the fact that there was no positive evi
dence that he had delivered the kick.
so they brought In a verdict of not
entity. M ABET j R. TWINING.
MATRIMONIAL AUTOS NOW.
Built In the Shape of a Heart and Or
namented With Cupids.
Matrimonial automobiles" iu Chi- '
cago may result from an announce
ment in Pittstou. Pa., that a "matri
monial coach" has leen built there in
the shape of a heart, covered with de- !
signs of the heart shape and orna-
mented with Cupids, savs the Chicago
News. The automobile will be heart
shaped, too, and also le constructed
with a speed capacity sufficient to as
sure the safe escuin of eloping couples
from wrathful parents.
Chicago automobile dealers are en
thusiastic over the idea. C. A. Coey
"The two main features of the ma
chine would be the signiiieaut shape
aud the high speed. It could le e-on-st
rutted in the shape of a heart, with
Cupid guardians on the tonneau aud
on the lauterus ahead. The machine
could be geared to an ordinary speed
of at least seventy miles per hour in
order that fleeing couples might have
uo trouble in making their escape."
In view of the advent of the matri
monial automobile it is not thought
probable that the liverymen of Chicago
will equip carriage! in the manner
which the Pittstou coach Is said to
have been equipped, as they seem to
feel that it would not be profitable.
Hotel nieu were little more enthusi
astic. "The trouble with it," said A1k
Fr-ink of the Sherman House, "Is the
reticence of the couples as to letting
people kuow they are married. As a
rule, they want to hide. With the car
riage that would not be possible, but
with the automobile I presume they
could travel so fast that no one would i
know them anyway. It would le a !
good joke, though, if friends of n j
newly married couple could substitute'
the matrimonial cab for an autoinobiie -if
they o?dered one and then go along
Iu n machine to see that they didn't .
IN GULF STREAM.
Conditions Probably Due
Jamaica Earthquake. j
Startling deflections iu the freakish
gulf stream aud strauge phenomena
existing in the Mexican gulf, believed
to be an indirect result of the Kiiirs-I
tou earthquake, were recently revealed
in an otlicial report from Captain John
C. Soley of the gulf division of the
hydrographie ollice nt New Orleaus, !
says the Kansas City Star. j
The stream has moved many miles
to the vest, now passing close to the
coast of Central America in one big
circle, turning to the north and east,
instead of keeping the sinuous line it
formerly described. Before the quake
the gulf stream ran close to the west
ern end of Cuba, curving and winding
its way toward the American coast
from the south, then turning away to
the east and passing out around the
Florida peninsula to the northern wa
ters along the Atlantic j-oast.
Captain Soley tixes the location of a
vast pool of oil '20 miles off the Lou
isiana coast, directly south of the
mouth of the Atcbafalayas river. To
a depth of four feet there Is nothing
but creasy fluid. Off the Florida coast:
a fresh water sea has beeu discovered.
It is an extensive area of fresh wa
ter, surrounded by salt water. Kddy
Ing currents for hundreds of square
miles keep this sea entirely different
In color and quality from the gulf
proper. Seaweed floats there and re
mains. Galloping Ambulances.
The Fulled States army medical otli
cers are much impressed with Ihe
work which has !een done with the
galloping ambulance, a vehicle used lu
the British army and lately under test
in the American service, says a Wash
ington correspondent of the New York
Tribune. F.ight of these new ambu
lances, each to le drawn by a single
horse, have been ordered by the quar
termaster general ami are to be sent
to the various posts where cavalry
troops are on duty. It is expected
greater speed can be obtained with
this vehicle than with any other type
of ambulance, in addition to which
quality it is so constructed as to with
stand the shock and jar of rapid tran
sit over rough country. One of these
galloping ambulances will be sent to
Cuba as soon as ft Is ready and will lie
subje'cted to severe tests in that Island.
The army surgeons, however, are per
fectly satisfied that the galloping am
bulance has come to stay and will
hereafter form a part of the mobile
equipment of the medical department
In the Held.
Ballad of Cold Storage Hen.
IDr. Wiley says It Is impossible to de
termine bow many years some fowls have
been in cold storage. Press Dispatch.)
My mother was a hen In the days ot Rood
At the tender ace of ten I was stowed
away In here to freeze.
And In all these years, you see, that I've
dwelt here In frigidity
I've acquired, naturally, a remarkable
l vt gathered through those years a re
pose that's full of dignity.
And I never, oh. my dears, have descend
ed to malignity!
When a modern chick conies In, with his
airs so full of silliness.
I merely raise my chin In a patriarchal
I have heard great kingdoms fall, like the
smash of rare old pottery.
And have heard the final call for great
monarchs old and tottery.
And yet through every age, while goes on
the march historical.
Do I gaze, calm as a sage, upon life
Do not talk about the sphinx nor the
obelisks and pyramids.
I make those ancient links look as youth
ful as a, bunch of kids.
Perhaps from my retreat there will come
a time of severance.
But meantime, I repeat, you should treat
me wltb due reverence.
vi -mi titl
Chamberlain 9 s
A Safe Medicine for Children.
In buv;ng a couprh medicine for children, never be afraid to buy CHAMBER
tin s Couch Remedy. There is no danger from it, aud relief is always sure
to follow. It is intended especial1'
cough, and io the lu st nieuicii:. in the world for these diseases. It is not onlv
acertaiu cure for croup, but, when given ad soon us the croupy cough appears,
trill vnv-veiit the attack Whoc-Muir cou-'li r uct d;it:gero::3 when this reiuedv
is given as directed. It contains no opium e.r other harmful drugs, and may be
civeu us confidently to a baby as to an
A PJlNTER FOR TOURISTS.
Put Vucr I'rnji-r lt:nik on Top of the
1 . I . . ' I
"If you ever 1: ) to r.ermud.'i 1 can tell
you how to make time at the custom
house." said a returning Washm.ijioni
an. "I reached Kermmla early in the
morning. I made up my humane rath
er hastily before leaving the ship.
".Iut as I was ready to eloe my
suit ease I noticed that I bad left my
prayer book on the lounge. I pitched
it iu rat her unceremoniously, strapped
down the case aud hurried ashore.
"You don't have to wait to declare as
you do when cominir into the port of
New York. As I slopped into the olliee
of the .I.dmuy I'.uil otlicial I unstrapped
my case ami opened it up. The otlicial
talked at me as if I bad been a tele
phone. " 'Hello I" he said the first thiuir.
'What's this';' be asked, picking up my
prayer book. 'Prayer book, eh? All
right. Shut u, your case."
'Want to look at anything else':' I
"'.No. You're all right, my friend.
Any man who will put bis prayer lo k
on top of his traps isn't likely to leat
the government. I'll take that for your
"I threw him half a dozen cigars.
That's where I made my mistake.
!ot any more like these in that
case':' asked the otlicial.
"I said I hadn't, but ilo you know he
wouldn't believe me, and I had to open
up the ease again, and he went through
it as if lie thought I was a smuggler."
Happy Deri ut lorm.
There are some very funny stories.
told about the derivations of words
since people are likely to twist their
language into strauge forms. Thus,
the pope is even today called by the
name "poiitifex," which boys In the
l.atiu class all know is taken by him
from the title of the old Roman priests.
Now "poiitifex" means bridge builder,
and it is true that the Komau priests
in the earlv davs of the republic. wer
It's a heavy strain on mother.
Her system is called upon to supply
nourishment for two.
Some form of nourishment that will
be easily taken up by mother's system
Scott's Emulsion contains the
greatest possible amount of nourish
ment in easily digested form.
Mother and baby are wonderfully,
helped by its use.
. ALL DRUGGISTS: 50c AND $1.00
for coughs, C0U3, croup and whooping
In charge oi' bridges, 7iit probably It
should be poinptii'cx." meaning "mak
er of ceremonies." Many of you have
wondered what the priest bad to do'
Willi bridge building, and this little
change of "nt" t "nip"' makes the
whole matter clear.
An astonishing derivation is that of
the word "stranger." which we are told
e-otues from the 1 reek word ex. or out
of. Absurd as this seems, it Is easy to
understand. Kx means out. from or
away, the same word as the Iitin ex;;
hence comes extra. Then comes the
Latin extrancus. which means outside.1
The old French word, from this,'
estrange, meaus au outsider, but
estrange gave us the word etrauger
by dropping the s and Htrauger by.
dropping the e.
After this serious example we shall
not be surprised at the old joke that
derived the town name "Middletowu,"
from "Moses." by dropping the "iddle
town" aud adding "oses." St. Nich
.ot "Hello," bnt "1 I.tnten."
Telephone girls in France must no
longer say "alio." but "j'ecoute" (I
listen 1. says I.e Figaro of Paris. This
Is one of the new postmaster general's
Old Mrs. Jones entered the drawing
room unexpectedly and spoiled a very
"I was just whispering a secret In
Cousin Jennie's ear," explained Char
lie. "I'm sorry." said the old lady grave
ly, "that your eyesight has become so
bad that you mistake Jennie's mouth
for her ear." Loudon Tit-Bits.
"Now our cook has gone away I
don't know what we shall do."
"I thought you told me your wife
was such a good cook'r"
"Not a bit of it. I told you my wife
was an expe'rt iu broils, roasts aud
stews." Baltimore American.