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THE ARGUS, TUESDAY. JUNE 18. 1007.
THE TERROR'S DINNER
Away back In ISTG'a man named
Turpln established a restaurant in
Yuma, aud among Turin's original
employees wan a waiter named Job
Straight, who could tdioot with groat
precision, play draw poker with un
varying success and pack eighteen
plates of miscellaneous grub upon one
bare arm at one time. lie could exe
cute all the prevailing melodies either
on piano or guitar, and he possessed
the most tremendous baritone voice
fver heard in Arizona. Why, men some
times went to Turpin's just to hear Joe
deliver gastronomic orders. No per
fect description can be given of that
voice, however, except to say that at
times it really did make things clatter.
Ouee a fresh young cowboy from
near Gila Bend entered Turpin's for ti
Christmas dinner who took a startling
concoction as an appetizer and then
dropped thud-like at a table and rough
ly shouted to Straight:
"Say, there, Italdy'. Bring me some
Job was at first appalled; but, recov
ering his reserve limit of equanimity,
he brushed an Imaginary breadcrumb
from the frescoed tablecloth and
whisked a bill of fare from the varie
gated castor rnd placed it before the
new young terror of the Bend.
"Take it away!" cried the latter in
tones that could give Straight's ordi
nary, everyday baritone a castle and
checkmate it in five moves. "I don't
want to read your darned old tract.
I don't care a darn who came into the
world to save sinners. Bring me some
grul g-r-u-b! Grub: Grub! Grub!"
"What do you w:mt?-'
Kattlesia"kes on'toast! And I want
you to hump yourself!"
"I've given my order, you baldheadod
old cigar store sign, and I want you to
get a move on yourself, p. d. q. Rattle
snakes on toast!"
"Rattlesnakes on toast!" cried Job to
the cook In accents that would have
paralyzed Carl Formes had that old
basso profunda been living and heard
"Rattlesnakes on toast!" was the re
verberating response from the cook
upon receiving the order.
There were a dozen or more people In
the restaurant, and their eyes were at
once turned on the young person from
the Bend and the Infuriated waiter.
In the meantime the cook had taken
a big cattish and cut It into four strips
and rolled these strips in batter, so
that they much resembled the viand or
dered, and after placing them in the
frying pan he stuck his head out of the
kitchen and shouted to Job:
' You want tliem rattlers rare or well
The waiter repeated the interrogatory
In n cyclonic way, and the terror re
plied in as violent a tone and manner
as he could command. "Well done, with
plenty of gravy and Chill Colorado."
And then Job thundered to the cook:
"Well done, with plenty of Chili Colo
rado, hot as , and moccasin gravy
on the side and brochettes of sand
crane livers and Gila monster lights!"
There was an instantaneously dead
silence in that restaurant, and all eyes
were again cast upon the terror and
the waiter. The former turned ashen
pale and began to weaken perceptibly,
while Job gazed at his victim..
"Maybe "you 'don't think we" can Bene
oil the market affords," muttered Job.
"Maybe you don't like moccasin gravy
or brochettes a la mode. Maybe you
"Say!, You've got me I ain't hungry,
bo help me. I couldn't eat a single hard
boiled egg. Countermand that durned
order, old man. and I'll pay all ex
penses and set 'em up as long as any
body can drink. Beg pardon, gentle
men, nil. My first attempt to be a terror-pardon
me, gentlemen. It's my
And then he handed his revolver to
Job and added:
"Take that pistol, old man, as ft
present and promise me that the next
time any durned fool comes in here
and calls for rattlesnakes on toast
you'll shoot him dead!"
But Straight was too raving mad all
the way through to willingly emerge
from a situation mly tolerably tri
umphant So ho took the weupon just
as the order was being placed on the
table and, pointing It at the terror,
"Now, then, my boy, dump yourself
Into that chair and eat them snakes
bones, skin and all!"
The young fellow did as he was com
manded, but after finishing his repast
staggered the uncompromising Job by
"I say, Baldy, bring mo another
plate of snakes!" Denver News.
PLAN TO STRENGTHEN RACE.
Maybe you owe two. three, five or iirlit different creditors who are
elaniiiriiig for their money. You know you can pay all of them in time,
but it may he iiieonvenient just now.
Ymi may have property, whieh in a way is as pooil as cash but it
won't take care of your cash obligations now.
Von may In- short of money on ac count of having been out of work
for a f'-w weeks; it may lie sickness, accident, tire, or one of the hun
dred things that can happen.
Von may have hail some unusual obligations to meet which have tem
porarily embarrassed you.
IHit it's dillicnlt sometimes to net creditors to appreciate such condi
tions. M'-ti in business hear these excuses every day and do not know
whether if the truth is luini; told besides "they have their own itdiga
tions to meet and need the money.
l.i t us pay your bills b t us carry your burden: that satisfies your
creditors. j4et(f your credit back, makes your standing good and well
put it in S!ieli shape that it won't inconvenience yon to repay us. Then
there will lie one creditor instead of many and we're willing to wait
it's part of our business.
We make quick, private loans on furniture, pianos, horses, wagons,
cows, and other personal property.
Stale how much time you want to pay back and then pay a little a
month that's our proposition.
It inconvenient to call, write or telephone us and we'll send our con
fidential ac.ent to quote you our reasonable terms.
FIDELITY LOAN CO.,
MITPIIRM. I.YXDK III.OCK. ROOM S, ROCK ISLAND.
Office hours, 8 a. m. to 6 p. m., and Saturday evening!. Telephone
west 514; new telephone 6011.
Boston Doctor Favors Killing
The theory of the survival of the
fittest litis a new champion in lr. An
drew Christian of Boston, a successful
Back Bay physician, big. athletic and
thirty years old, says a special dis
patch to the New York World.
"If mothers would be willing to have
their children quietly put to sleep for
ever when they are very young and
Ghow signs of deformity or degeneracy.
the world would be better." he said re
cently. "Of course that could not be
unless the women could lie educated
up to the fact that it would be the
kindest way to end a life which will
be of no use to itself or any one else.
"If I, myself, had a little child born
and It was deformed or showed that it
would be mentally weak, then I would
tie willing that it should be put to
death with no suffering, and it would
Ik the prudent thing to do because it
would save it from untold sulTerlu
later. This may seem harsh, but it
"A board of overseers of marriages
is what we want. The race is degener
ating. and some radical change must
be made soon or we will in time have
only idiots and imbeciles. Just take,
for example, what I.nther Burba uk has
accomplished with the flowers. Even
more can be done with human being
and greater results obtained.
"Only the fit should marry, only those
who are mentally and physically nor
mal and sane, those whose ancestors
were clean of life and well hnlahrei!
mentally. To le born under light co:i
ditlons with as nearly perfect mother
and father, mentally and physically its
possible. Is the heritage of every child
and the man or woman who cheats a
chilil of that heritage is committing a
double crime, one against the child and
one against society.
"The board of overseeers. I suggest,
should understand thoroughly physiol
ogy, psychology and sociology. I
Old 'Phone 227.
I fif :ifeWi '
The expectant or nursing mother requires
added strength and nourishment.
.-ih itnu INTOXir.. Jls it
1 .:&MAIT HQPS2a
pSPtD.. (Wo kh ..:i 4ss
For 12 tops of Red" Metal caps
from Large Malt-Nutrine Bottles
with Gold Trade-mark or 24 from
Split Bottles withBlack Trade-mark
and 15c or postage, we will sen J
one of our Vienna Art Plates to
say address in the United States.
combines the rich, strengthening prop
erties derived . from Barley-Malt and
the soothing qualities of Hops. It is
the most easily assimilable : form of
Sold by all Druggists and Grocers
in cases of 1 Doz. Large or 2 Doz. Split Bottles
Anheuser-Busch St. Louis, Mo.
Brewers of the
Famous Budweiser Beer
. : f
i tH :'-''-l.''.'-.'S!s ltml
slioitlV! think doctors appointed by the
state would lie liest. These could have
lists of people in that state and so far
as possible of their ancestry. They
could then decide certain periods of
time to look the individuals up before
deciding whether a couple were fit to
WESTON TO REPEAT FEAT.
Will Try to Walk From Portland. Me.,
to Chicago In a Month.
Edward Piiyson Weston, the pedes
trian, who broke the lecord between
Philadelphia and New York in May.
lOOd, now in his sixty-ninth year,
plans to duplicate or excel his perform
ance of forty -two years ago. when he
walked front' Portland, Me., to t'hica
go, a distance of l.'Jod miles, in thirty
days, says the New York Tribune.
According to his plans, he will start
from the postoflice in Portland, Me., at
5 o'clock on Tuesday afternoon, Oct.
"f, and, traveling over the route he
used two decades ago, will reach the
Chicago poMtotllce at 2 o'clock on
Thursday afternoon. Nov. 1!S. As he
docs not walk on Sun lay. this schedule
gives him only twenty-six days to cov
er the distance and making an a-verage
of fifty miles a day necessary.
Mr. Weston will be accompanied by
a party of newspaper men, who will
use an automobile. He will pass
through parts of ten states and more
than 1100 cities.
James McQuigg were tlemolisliefl. jne
families escaped injury in cyclone cel
lars. John Ashworth says lie saw his
cow lifted into the air and carried
away ami that he found her later at
McQuiggV, a Quarter of a irtile away.
Everybody's Rifle Range,
The proposition to establish a gov
ernment range for ritle and revolver
practice merits the commendation of
everybody, for it is proposed to permit
civilian clubs and Individuals as well
as military organizations to shoot over
it under proper restrictions. Just
where it will be located, says Pores t
and Stream, will be decided by the
commission of army otliccrs appointed
for the purpose, but it is probable that
it will be in one of the middle Atlantic
There is no case of indigestion, no
matter how obstinate, that wi'l not he
speedily relieved by the use of Kodo'.
Kodol contains the same juices foun
in a healthy stomach. Conforms to ihe
Pure Food and Drugs Law. Sold by
Mrs. Peary's Island.
It Is announced that P.asket island In
Portland harlmr has been sold to Mrs.
Peary, wife of Commander Iiobert E.
Tcary, the arctic explorer, says the
Kennebec (Me.) Journal. This island
comprises about four acres of land and
was purchased from the John W. I.atie
estate of Portland. It is located to the
south of Cousins island and between
that Island and so called P.ushy Clap
hoard island. It is about one mile
from I'ndcrwood Springs park. There
Is a little house on the island, which is
occasionally occupied. The price paid
for the Island was ifl.Otio. What Mrs.
Peary intends to do with her purchase
could not be learned. It is not a very
great distance from Kasrle island, the
summer home of Commander and Mrs.
Peary, which, however, is on the outer
edge of the island of Casco bay, while
Basket island N close to the malnlatul.
The fact that it has been purchased by
Mrs. Peary, who will probably utilize
It for something, probably means that
Sickness Is next to impossible If you keep
the Kidneys, Liver and Uowels In perfect
working order with an occasional dose of
Dr. A. W. Chase's
Mr. S. n. IioUlen. No. ISP,i Cass Ave,
Grand Uapids, Mii-li., says: "I have for
years been subject to ftluspistiness of the
liver and constipation, the kidneys were also
inactive and caused me a preat deal of pain
across my loins. I cot some of Dr. A. W.'
Chake's Kidney-Liver Pills and they cured
the Inactivity of the oreans rapidly and
easily. I would not be without them." 25c
a box at all dealers, write for a free sample
Ir. A. V. Chase Medicine Co., Uuflalo, N. Y.
For Sale at Harper House Pharmacy.
UNEQUALLED FOR THE CURE OF DYSPEPSIA AND ALL STOMACH
Guaranteed under the Ture Food and Drugs Act, June 30, 19ti6. Serial number
It is the work of the stomach to ferment tlx food and anything that inter
feres with this process of fermenta; ion may he a cause of dyspepsia. Stri"!.
ly speaking there are clo.r-ns of causes of stomach trouble. The kind and
Quality (if food taken, worry, mental excitement, nervousness, lack of proper
exercise. It takes many forms such as debility, 'that tired feeling), loss of'
appetite, pain after eating, acidity, .Viiulence, vomiting, palpitation, cramps
in the stomach.
Dyspepsia is dangerous because it ha? very marked influence ou the how
els, the kidneys and the heart. It Kumtild therefore uever bi neglected. One
or two boxes of Dr. Edwards' Compound Dandelion Tablets have cured manv
severe cases of stomach trouble. If von are a sufferer from this complaint
Sold by all Druggists, 25c; Schenck Chemical Co., Manufacturers, 54-56 Frank
lin St., New York, and
(Look for this Signatnre)
T. H. THOMAS, v
Circle Tours to the
( AND RETURN VIA
NEW YORK, WASHINGTON, D. C.
at on end.
ns a basket picnic resort is j
Revolving Flower Beds.
Of course it is excctMlinjjly dillicnlt
to introduce novelties in landscape tar
denlns, and to find anything new be
comes daily a frreater anil more baf
fllnir nuzzle. The fountain with elec
tric Utfhts, which is to glorify one es
tate at Newport this summer and add
to the conspicuousness of its owner
has been elaborately discussed, and
now it Is reported that a landscape
gardener Is goitii: to go it one better
and arrange revolving flower beds,
which may become the wonder of the
town, says a correspondent of the New
York Press. At all events they will he
the feature of a sunken garden. There
will be six of them, each about ten feet
square, and they will be turned by
electric motors at the rate of a revolu
tion a minute.
iff "tn "fc. " y wwa i i i m om if m-i i u i mm
ST0P-0VEI3S at all Tourist Points
Grand Ocean Trip between New York and Norfolk
LAKE SHORE FROM CHICAGO . $32.05
MICHIGAN CENTRAL FROM CHICAGO 31.35
BIG FOUR FROM CHICAGO . . 32.05
C1G FOUR FKGtf ST. LOUIS . 36.20
GOING AND RETURNING SAME ROUTE
BIG FOUR FROM CHICAGO . . $22.25
GIG FOUR FROM ST. LOUIS . 25.C0
ST0P-0VEB AT WASHIKSTOK, D. C.
WRITE FOR ILLUSTRATED FOLDER
Oklahoma Nature Story.
Ileavy rain, accompanied by high
wind and hail, recently fell and flooded
the entire territory of Oklahoma.
Throughout Oklahoma the storm was
severe and in Day county a tornado did
much damage southeast of Grund.
The homes of F. D. Wells, Ben Payne,
! John.. Ashworth, Samuel Wrlghjt and I
Of All Drinks
As well as the most healthful
and invigorating, are those well
known carbonated beverages
bottled by us. Absolutely pure,
water and ingredients are used,
and this with the greatest care
used in bottling, have created a
demand for our goods that is in
itself the best evidence of the r
Carse & Ohlweiler
Cor. Eleventh St. and Fifth Ave.
Old phone west 14, new phone
WARREN J. LYNCH, Passenger Traffic Man2gsr, CHICAGO
II. E. CAKTEEL,
L. D. MUDGE,
II. R SIMMON,
CENTRAL TRUST AND SAVINGS HANK.
ROCK ISLAND, ILL.
INCORPORATED UNDER STATE LAW.
Capital Stork, $100,000. Fear Per Cent Intrmtt Paid om Drpoatta.
C. J. Larkin,
J. J. LaVelle,
H. E- CasteeV
L. D. Mudge,
II. D. Mack,
M. S. Ileagy,
II. D. Simmon,
II. II. Cleaveland,
Mary E. Robinson,
E. D. Sweeney,
II. W. Tremann.
TCstat! ami property of all kituls are managed by this department,
which Is kept entirely separate from the banking business or the com
pany. We act as executor of anil trustees under Wills, Administrator,
Uuanlian and Conservator of Kstates.
Kee iver ami Assignee of Insolvent Estates. General Financial Agent
for Non-Residents, Women, Invalids, and others.