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THE ARGUS, TUESDAY, AUGUST 20, 1907. 6 "A. GEORGE ADE FABLES The Up to Date Atlas Who Carried the World on His Shoulders. Copyright. 130 1903. by Robert Howard Russell. Once therellved iu a Jim Crow Town a Intel lect who was Post ed on all the Issues of the Day. Some one Lad to keep Cases o n t h e and pre vcut tlie whole Outfit from cct- NasJlHAMi j! II j AS IKTEHKATIOXAL rilOUHM. tins out of Kelter, and so the Job fell to Mordecai F. tjuinsy. Mr. Quinsy found that ho could give his Time to regulating the Washington Game be cause his Wife did Sewius and his Daughter was an Expert Stenographer. Between them they kept him supplied with good 5-eent Cigars and relieved his Mind of all Business Cares. lie had nothing to worry him except Affairs of State. When he tackled a large Interna tional Problem he could do so with a keen, active Brain that had not been fagged out by any cheap Insertion, such as trying to locate the Winter's Supply of Coal. Mr. Quinsy had the solemn Ihiz of a professional rail-Rearer, and much meditation had corrugated the Front of the Dome. Those who merely caught one Flash of him and never looked up his Record and checked off his Fedigree thought he was about due to break Into the Senate. To tell the cold and Icy Truth, Mordecai could not have been elected Constable, but just the same he knew all about John Hay's next Move, and sometimes he fretted a good deal for Fear that John would make a Miscue. Mr. Quinsy could s!t on a Kit of Mackerel, with a Bunch of Keys, a Barlow Knife, a Tlug of good eating Tobacco, and about IIj cents in Cur rency secreted In his Jeans, and he could tell the Treasury Department just how to manage the next $100,000, 000 Issue of Bonds. One thing that worried Mr. Quinsy a lot was the possibility that Teddy would make some serious Mistake. He felt more or less responsible for Teddy, inasmuch as he had formally nomi nated him In front of Filkins's Hard ware Store as far back as 1SS0. If he could have been at Teddy's Elbow all the time to whisper Advice there would have been no Chance for the Adminis tration to get balled up. But the Trou ble was that Mr. Quinsy was out at Pewee Junction and Teddy was up at Washington, and they could not get together to frame up a Policy. Mr. Quinsy was a man of Regular Habits and very Methodical. He had eo much to do every Day that he had to work on a close Schedule. I n the Morn ing, after his Wife had arisen and start the Fire and put on the Mr. Mordecai F. Quinsy would arise and take a few Ob servations of the Weather. He was a KCMBEit six. very able Prognostlcator, and one of his favorite Stunts was to get up in the Morning and do a little Forecasting for the benefit of his Wife and Daughter. After Breakfast ho put on his Over coat and wrapped himself up In a Com forter so as not to catch Cold and lose the Use of his Voice. If Mordecai F, Quinsy had lost the use of his Voice this Country would have been in a Bad Way. Mr. Quinsy knew a Druggist who took a Daily Paper, and so, the first thing every Morning, he went to the Drug Store to find out what Fool Break had been made by Congress. After reading the Paper he sat by the Stove and laid out some "Work for ttie Ways and Means "Committee. After which he went down to the Sta tion to see Number Six go through. After which he went up to the Pout- Office to wait until the Muil had been distributed. One day Mordecai Quinsy received a Seed Catalogue, and after that he was encouraged. While wait ing for his Mail Mr. Quinsy said a few plain Words about the Kaiser and stood up for the Monroe Doctrine. "About 11 o'clock every day Mr. Quin sy acted as Referee in a Pool Game, and then went over to the Barber Shop to look at the Illustrated Tapers con taining the Fictures of Footlight Favor ites and Noted Criminals. Mr. Quincy, being possessed of an Analytical Mind, was deeply Interested in ail Murder Mysteries, and for every Case he had a few Theories of his own that would have been a great help to the Tollce. Just at 12 o'clock Mr. Quisy went home and ate a hearty Dinner, after which he returned to .Main Street smoking a Farm-Hand Regalia and ' cazinz thoughtfully.. at the Ground, trying to straighten out the Panama Canal Business. In the Afternoon he hung around the Court-House more or less because he played a good Game of Checkers. and, besides, he liked to le on hand in case the State needed the Services of an unprejudiced Juror. Mr. Quinsy had a Weak Back, which prevented him from splitting Wood, but he loved some kinds of Work, and the Honest Toil that suited him best was to sit on a Jury In a Case In volving Assault and Battery. If there was nothing doing at the Court-IIouse, Mr. Quinsy usually went to a Real-Estate Office and grappled with the Trust Problem. He had given much T bought totheMat ter of leg i s 1 a ting against in f a mous Combines and he was one of the first to discov er that the Trusts were try- i n g to SUFFERING. whip-saw the Working Classes. About the time that he had solved the Trust Problem he had to go over and see the After noon Train go through and wait for hLs Mail once more. Late In the Day he usually dropped in at an Undertaker's Shop where a Veterinary Surgeon and a retired Truck Farmer were collaborating on a Foreign Policy for the State Depart ment. Mr. Quinsy was always able to silp in a few Suggestions. He was dead set against the Anglo-Saxon Al liance, and lelieved in the Annexation of Canada, even If It Involved War. At r:?0 he would purchase a Pound of Oyster Crackers and have them charged. Then he would go home to Tea, and tell Mrs. Quinsy and Daugh ter to fix up the Sofa for him as he was suffering from a Headache and wanted to Rest for a little while. MORAL: What we need in America is the Gospel of Relaxation. Dave Rooks' 60 Mike Kelley 13 Jno Sullivan Frank O'Connell " M Cavanaugh 12 CT Cal Harson irt 80 D W Kelley 5r Jno Haley " ou Roy Reed 14 40 Henry Wish b John Burton 12 10 Ira Carr 6 80 Frtiz Gest 6 30 SMITHS IN LEAD amily Dominates American Society, Declares Social Register Locater. BROWNS COME NEXT ON LIST R Biesley C Everts . B Stevens Ira Cross 12 CO 24 15 12 0 3 0 No Joneses in Providence, and Oak land's Preferred Know None Who Are Named Jackson. 752 20 Recapitulation 2nd ward side walk acct fc . 3rd ward side walk acct 'J 05 4th ward side walk acct i 'S 05 5th ward side walk acct 60 20 7th ward side walk acct 'll 75 Street acct 23' 50 Sewer acct 3 00 Health acct 55 ! Water Works Const acct 7t 5 Reservoir acct 1-4 vn MUNICIPAL MATTERS. City Council Room, Rock Island, 111., Aug. l'J, 1907. The council met m regular session at 8 p. m. Mayor SchafTer presiding and all the alder men present. The minutes of the last regular ses sion were read and approved. Alderman Anderson from the financ3 committee, submitted an ordinance, which was considered and adopted by unanimous vote allowing the weekly labor payroll for week ending Aug. 17, as follows: Pete Loge 1" 50 Total 762 20 The clerk read a communication from S. S. Davis accepting the or.li nance authorizing him to widen th. canal across Rock Island avenue, at Sears. Alderman Anderson moved that th communication be received and mada a matter of record. Carried The clerk presented the bond of S. S. Davis in the sum of $8,000 in ac cordance with the terms of the ordi nance to pay one-half of the cost of th proposed bridge across the canal. Alderman Oberg moved that th bond be received and accepted. Car ried. The clerk presented petitions fro.i Ward & McMahon and Rosenfie1.' Bios, for permission to make sewe connections. Referred to the sewer committee with power to act. The clerk presented petitions fron Edwdard Bauersfield and others asking that Tri-City Railway company b: compelled to lower its tracks on Ele enth street to the grade of the street Referred to the street and alley con mlttee Alderman Anderson offered a resobi tion instructing the city clerk to asl for bids for the painting of the pump and motor and the interior of the rese voir pump house and the roof of the valve house. Adopted. Alderman Anderson presented bid from the Kuhner Engine & Machin comnanv. $I.G12. and Davis Machin shop. $3,723, for the repairing an overhauling of the Holly Gaskell punii Referred to the waterworks commit tee, mayor and superintendent of wa terworks to report at next meeting Alderman Benson from the strea and alley committee reported recom? mending that superintendent of street bo instructed to build ditch at sout end of alley between Twenty-ninth an Thirtieth streets and Seventh ai Eighth rvenues and city engineer to present estimate of cost of bringin alley to grade. Report adopted Alderman Benson from the stree alley committee recommended that th plat of H. R. Krell's addition be adop ed, provided bond in the sum of $500 be filed to bring streets and alleys to grade. Adopted Alderman Schmid moved that who council adjourn it be to next Monday night. Aug. 26, to consider bids on Society is led throughout the Unitfd States, north, south, east and west, by the ancient and honorable famiiy of Smith, as Is shown by the Sl i.il Keg lstcr Locater, the first number of which was published the other day. This volume is a compendium of the names of persons of social prominence in twenty American elti.'s and hr.s been prepared with painstaking care It consists of an nlphaletirnl arrange ment of 84.500 names, togi-ther with the cities where the persons reside. This furnishes a clew to many sources of Information concerning those whose doings are of interest to society in the principal cities of the United State.;. Of the Smiths there are found to Tie 55(i all told, while the Browns, who numlier J54t'i, come next In pryferment. The Joneses numlier 202. while the Robiusons have 173 on the roll of the select elect, to quote Miss Carolyn Wells. The numerically predominant names In New York are as follows: Smith, 1C3; Brown. 137; White. 80; Morgan. 84; Clark, SI; Robinson, SI; Taylor, 80. and Miller, 8G. Boston has only 5 Smiths and 10" Browns, but the Hub has 22 Williauises, 44 Peabodys and 44 Coolidgos. New York has the most Smiths and 40 per cent of the Browns, while Bal timore is a close second In the posses sion of the clan of Brown. The Smiths predominate in Philadelphia, with a battalion of 123. although the Riddle family, which is so much a part of the City of Brotherly Love, has 72 members. The Joueses are to 1 found everywhere, except In Provi dence and Oakland. Oakland has no Ixwly at all In society named Jackson. Baltimore Is entitled to have the most Jenkinses present at any large social function. In Chicago the Walkers fol low the Smiths in preference, while In Providence the name Aldrich is the ojien sesame to society. Pittsburg has the most Laughlins. The Smiths are at the fore in St Louis and St. Paul, and in Minneapolis the question of prestige is a tie among the Washburns, Wlustons and Woodworths. I'm-in are InierrntlDK. Suirimaries of f tie names which recur in the various cities reveal some inter esting facts culled from this American Almannch de Gotha. There are 14!) of the family of Adams in 15 cities, while the 04 Alexanders are distributed through 17 cities. There are 31 Am orys, and Boston society has them all. Of the Blddle family. !esides the 72 in Philadelphia which have been men tioned, there are 0 in New York and In Washington, but they are really part of the parent stock which flourish es in the city of I'enn. Five cities only have Appletons, of whom there are 21 In Boston, 17 in New York. 2 in Fhiladelnhia. 2 in T.he Rolling; Settee Better than Electric Fan in Hot Weather. NEWEST, - LATEST, BEST. DELIGHTFUL, MOVEMENT. NO SEA SICKNESS, AS IN THE HIGH DERRICK SWINGS. EASY AND COOL. Remember that our machine is made of iron and steel; a steel track and an iron roller. Our seat3 are built on steel frames and each slat is Iwlted to its place. We mention this because our swing is so far ahead of anything now put on the market that it must be seen to be appreciated and understood. DAVID DON St. Paul'.-! ml 1 in Baltimore. All of the family of Auchincloss, to the num ber of 17. have not wandered away from New York. Of the 35 Cain.ts 32 reside in P.ostou. The 213 of the house of Davis are scattered through 18 cities, and they are the most numerous in Washington. Nearly every city, or 19 of the score, have some of the 1G3 Kings. Strange differentiations In the spell ing of names appear throughout the volume. There are 23!) of the family of Clarke and 'M of the name with out the terminal "e." Five ways are offered for the spelling of what is In effect the same name, as Is seii in such titles as Beal, Beale, Reales, Beall and Beals. It is shown in the tables that there are 40 Reads, 71 Reeds and 31 Reids. There are 55 who Itear the name of Bobbins and 35 who leave out one "b" and pronounce their name the same way. Forty-two are called Stur gls and 32 Sturges. Notice to Bridge Contractors. Scaled proposals will be received at the city clerk's ollice, Rock Island, 111 , until Monday, Aug. 2th, 1!)7, at 5 o'clock p. m. for the construction of a bridge over Rock river. The contrac tor to purchase the old bridge. Plans and specifications on file at the city clerk's otiice. Certified check in amount of $2utt.0 to accompany each bid. The city reserves the right 10 reject any or all bids. Rock Island, III., Aug. 14, 1307. M. T. RUDGRKN, City Clerk. Kodol for indigestion and dyspepsia is a preparation of vegetable acids and contains th same juices found in a healthy stomach. It digests what you rat. Sold by all druggists. "Regular as the Sun" is an expression as old as the race. No doubt the rising and setting of the sun is the most regular performance in the universe, unless it is the action of the liver and bowels when regulat ? I with Dr. King's New Life Pills. Guar anteed by W. T. llartz, druggist, 301 Twentieth street. 25c. 8 H. E. CASTEEL L. D. MUDGE, II. B. SIMMON, g 0 President. ' Vice President. Cashier. 8 CENTRAL TRUST AND SAVINGS BANK. g KOCK ISLAND, ILL. g O INCORPORATED UNDER STATE LAW. ci INCORPORATED UNDER STATE LAW. Capital Slock, S 10O.OOO. Four I'er tent lotrrrat 1'ald oa Drpoalta. All the news all the time THE ARGUS. C. J. Larkin, J. J. LaVelle, 1L E. Casteel, 1. D. Mudge, II. D. Mack. II. H. Cleaveland, John Schafer, Mary E. Robinson, M. S. Heagy, E. D. Sweeney, H. B. Simmon, II. W. Tremann. TDIICT P.rDADTUrMT Kstates and property of all kinds are munaKod by this department. t which is kept entirely .separate fr!n the banking business f the com pany. We act as executor of and trustees under Wills, Administrator, Guardian and Conservator of Kst it s. iteceiver and Assiiinee of Insolvent Kstates. General Financial Agent for Non-ltesldeiits, Women. Invalid, and others. QOOOOOOQOOCXXXXXXXXXXXX?C Lest You Forget DON'T bo afraid to come, JJECAUSE It Don't Hurt a Bit" I I R. 1715 2nd Ave. DENTIST, ARTIN, Rock Island, 111. F Nckus 10 50 Win. Itishop 15 30 hridce over canal at Sears, and such John Carlson 5 2. other business as may come up. Ca Frank Johnson '2 10 ried C Weigand 13 75 1 Alderman Anderson offered a resolu John Anthony 12 6w tion that the superintendent of water Wm Frickson 12 GO ; works be authorized to purchase 10- Fred Schoel 12 GO inch double tube sham gauge for the Joe Geier 8 40 new boiler, at a. cost not to exceed $12. Carried. Adjourned on motion of Aldermai Frick. M. T. RUDGREN, City Clerk. THE REAL CAUSE. Wm Roehr 8 40 Nels Nelson ... 4 20 II Hammond : .. 3 15 Jim Carl S 40 Geo Talmage 12 10 Henry Lidders l'J -0 R Buncher 7 85 Fritz Gest 6 CO Joe Stroehle . 12 10 John Russ 12 10 uuni ACi,t:i nun . ImJi. ... . II Deisenroth 12 10 ttle. SCalp' WtUcn lBreW n lne Rarney Smith 9 45 J Johnson ... 12 "0 Al Sugden 10 f.O Sam Luckenbill 4 15 Albert Lewis 4 20 Peter Nelson 2 10 C L lirookman 25 20 C H Gay lord 21 00 ! John Meyer 21 0) Geo Petit 15 70 Geo Grimes 19 95 H Dewit 21 00 P Peterson 19 40 Joe Hendricks 19 5 M Dewise 12 CO Adolph Lambrecht 8 40 Chas Grama 12 60 Nels Peterson 10 50 CU113 Reck 12 0 Wm Morris 12 60 Frank Newcomb 12 60 Emil Frank 12 60 Joe Gutzweiler 12 60 Fred Heverling 12 60 The Ancient Scalp-Fever Theory Ex ploded. At one time dandruff was attributed to the result of a feverish condition of dried cuticle in scales. Professor Unna, Hamburg, Germanj , noted authority on skin diseases, ex plodes this theory and says that dan druff is a" germ disease. This germ is really responsible foi the dandruff and for so many bald heads. It can be cured if it is gon-3 about in the right way. The right way, of course, and the only way, is io kill the germ. Newbro's Herplcide does this, and permits the hair to grow luxuriantly just as nature intended it should. Sold by leading druggists. Send 10 cents in stamps for sample to the Her plcide Co.. Detroit. Mich. Sold in two 6izes. 50c and $1.00. T. H. Thomas, special agent. m Remedy for Diarrhoea Never Known to Fail. "I want to say a few words for Cham berlain's colic, cholera and diarrhoea remedy. I have used this preparation in my family for the past five years, and have recommended it to a number of people in York county, and have never known it to fail to effect a cure in any instance. I feel that I cannot say too much for the best remedy of the kind In the world," S. Jemison, Spring Grove, York county, Pa. This remedy is for sale by all druggists. arraesa When 70a want a quick cure without any loss of time, and one that is followed by no bad results, use Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy It never and ! iM.a .v. Kodo1 for Indigestion and dyspepsia It is equally valuable for children. It islwIU rest the stomach by actually di- famous for its cures over a large part ol gest lng me food itself. Sold by all the civilized world. druggists. At this season we should eat sparing ly and properly. We should also help the stomach as much as possible by the use of a little Kodol occasionally. YOU WILL BE PRESSED FOR MONEY Oftener because you you have no advertising bills to pay than because you have! MANY a business man haa been surprised to find that his biggest advertising bills, were the easiest ones to pay. This is always true, assuming that they are contracted in buying advertising space in the best newspaper medium in the field. It would, of course, never be true if poor judgment were used in the planning and executing of the advertising campaign. In the cases of prosperous merchants it always happens that big advertising bills and big bank balances grow, together, out of the same publicity campaigns.. Non-prosperous merchants and half-prosperous ones may prove the truth of this matter in a practical way, and in their own experiences. We are accustomed to seeing BIG STORES filled with cus tomers all the time the direct result of BIG ADVERTISING EXPENDITURES. But we do not so often see the' small stores and shops crowded. Too many of them are content to get the "over-flow" patronage, the "happened-in" people, the people who o to "the nearest place.' Effective, adequate advertising not only pays for itself it pays for increased equipment and all that goes with a bigger store and growing store-needs. A NY "little store" whose advertising expen ditures, for news paper space, are doubled this year will find its sales and profits corre s po tidin gly in crease. Even a small increase of expenditure, in the right direction, for publicity, will bring a notable q uicken ingof store activity, store profits. - 1 8 If)