Newspaper Page Text
THE ARGUS, SATURDAY. AUGUST 31. 1907.
GEORGE ADE FABLES
The Honest Effort to Go the Distamce and Then
the Melancholy Fluke.
rCopvrtRht, 1002, 1203, hv Kobert Howard
O u c e
w h o had
an a m b 1
tiou to be
low. lie had
a o o u s In
w s known
in Hap id
so be de
J 1 in and
B e t In
9tJi " "i
IIKIIISEUT AMI JIM.
IJnwdy-Pows and play the Limit.
Jim was full of Wise Talk almut the
Ponies, river and anon lie would care
lessly fish out of the Side-Pocket a
Tirgo Wad of the Green Kind with a
Fifty for a Wrapper and tell about sit
ting in with a couple of Horsemen and
a Wine Agent the Nijrht before. Ho
loved to speak of Hotels where a Swell
lloom with r.atli came to only .S'. per
Day and explain that he was getting
.Tim felt that be was wasting his
Conversation any time that he men
tioned any Picayune Sum under u
Thousand, He had iiothiiic but Sport1.
Ing Corpuscles of the Crimson Variety
tuovlng about in his Arteries. lie was
-ady to lay a Small I'.et on any Propo
sition, give or take, and when he put
tip his Knd he never batted an Kye
lash. lie had the Conltdciiee of many
of our most celebrated I'.arkeeps and
could giro the Ilurry-l'p to any well
No wonder that pale faced Herbert,
the would-be Uigh-Kniier, looked with
Awe upon Cousin Jim and inwardly
longed to butt into his Class.
Jim slipped him a Tow-I-ino and took
Mm out into the Night Air to pick up
a few Pointers.
Herbert learned that the first llule
for lx'lng a Good Ftwlow was to move
rapidly up to the Poison Counter every
time nn Order went in. Herbert
wi-lejied about 100 Pounds, and the
loctors had told him to try a Milk
Diet, but he did not dare to renig.
otherwise Koine one might have sus
pected that ho was a cheap Varnish
and a low-down Quitter. He was a
Feather-Weight and an Invalid, but he
wanted to be Game.
So be Ktood iii Line with the copper
lined Rounders, who had Iiull Necks
and weighed about LMO on the Hoof,
und made an awful P.hiff at going
along with theiu. He knew that to
take Vichy would be a Misdemeanor,
a ti d to
g e t h e r
to i g h t
out of the
l u e ntly
o n e
a g a i nst
co n tin no
UKIU'.EKT Bl'.OAME P1K-UYEU.
to hoist until ho was Pie-Eyed. Then
some one would take him out and
boost him into a four-oared Hack and
Kend him Home.
He learned, also, that In order to be
the genuine It he must go t.J the Track
mid get on friendly Terms with Whis
pering Iko, the Hoy who holds the
Watch on the Morning Gallops and
gets a Commission from nil the Poor
Houses. In a Short Time he had n lot of
Good Stories about being nosed out
und was sleeping with the Dope-Sheet
under his Pillow. Although he went
$121)0 to the Bad on the Meeting, ho
made the Personal Acquaintance of at
least a dozen Celebrities who wore Red
Vests, carried Field-Glasses, and let
nothing but Markers, therefore he had
the glad knowledge that slowly but
mirely ho was absorbing some of the
Attributes which distinguish the Good
Fellow from other Meruliors of the
After all, tho only cinch Method for
lecomrns n steam-heated Gazabe Is to
exhibit a tall Nerve in a cut throat
Fosslon of the Game that made Con
press famous. Cousin Jim knew a rot
of Gentlemen Players who were devot
ing their attention to Poker because
they were getting too Fat to climb
brain-fag, dull head pain, whether T
caused by overwork, biliousness,
constipation or stomach disorders,
yield quickly to the wonderful
curative properties of
Sola Everywhere. In boxes 10c and Sc.
Porches. As a bpecmt ravor ue uawi
it so Herbert could get a Place at the
lie had lieen against the one-call-two
Poarding-llouso Game, where they
hand back everything over $2, but he
was not accustomed to dallying-with
Friends who took out Pencils and be
gan to liguie how much they could get
ou his Clothes.
They were the kind that started in
to play just about where he left off.
The only Reason they didn't kill him
ed to keep
him in. It
w as one of
to get ltipe
a 1 tout the
C h u r c h
ion had no
w ay of
k n o wing
THE 1U1MMKKS' UNION AT
would ever get to him again, so they
decided to make one job of it.
Alter Herbert had signed up all the
Checks and put a Cold Towel on his
Head, he liegan to Roar somewhat and
talk about chopping ou the all-night
"You must not Reef," said Cousin
Jim. "A True Sport never lets ou,
even when they unbutton his Shoes."
"Do you know, I sometimes suspect
that I am not qualified to be a Hot
Dog," said Herbert. '"I find that I be
gin to pass away about 12 a. m. Per
haps it is owing to some Oversight In
my Farly Training, but I notice that
after I have taken a thousand Drinks
1 cannot put the Red Hall Into the Cor
ner Pocket. I have a Timid Nature,
and somehow I cannot learn to whoop
the Fdgo on a Pair of Nines. I'm
afraid that I drank too much Rain
water in my Youth. And. besides, I
gt into the Habit of going to lied.
It's u great Plow to my Pride, but I
:lon't think I am gaited to keep up
with the Doll-Cows. Me back to tho
Cheap Push at the P.oardlng-IIouse."
MORAL: Many are Called but few
deliver the Goods.
Tomorrow's Bill. ''Why Girls Leave
Home" will be seen here for the first
time tomorrow at the Illinois. The
play is by Fled Summerfield, and the.
story is a representation of the hap
penings of almost every household for
tunate to possess a daughter. The play
is well supplied with scenic and me
chanical effects anil the cast is a large
and adequate one.
Receives Commendation. The Prov
idence Press has the following to say
of "To Die at Dawn," which will lie
seen at the Illinois Sept. 2: "The story
of 'To Die at Dawn,' as acted by Miss
Goorgiana Gildings and a very capable
company is one of the deepest love
and devotion. It is a pleasing depart
ure from the lurid melodrama of which
we have had a surfeit, and the audi
ence appreciated the fact the Emeiu
Horner's Crawford Thurston was of
the highest class, while Miss Eddings'
characterization of the dual role was
one of the best pieces of work seen on
the local stage t his season. The sup
port was excellent throughout, and the
, sensational thriller, 'The Flight of the
Limited, aroused as much enthusiasm
as did the railroad scene in 'Bedford's
Scene Laid in West. "The Girl and
the Stampede" might be justly termed
"The Girl From tho Golden West," as
the scenes are laid in that atmosphere,
breathing that natural simplicity that
wins ami holds one's admiration. At
the Illinois theater Sept. 7.
Not Like Others. "An Aristocratic
Tramp" is not like any other play with
a tramp title. It will appeal to fath
ers, mothers, children, sweethearts and
wives. The vaudeville acts in "An
Aristocratic Tramp" are seven in num
ber, and they are all good ones. This
attraction is booked for Sept. 5.
"The Flower of the Ranch." Joseph
E. Howard, composer and author, and
musical comedy star as well, has his
own distinctive methods of writing his
successes. "I find that in song writ
ing," says Mr. Howard. "I can do my
best work from 1 o'clock until 3 o'clock
in the morning. This fact has occa
sioned me a great deal of trouble, for
I find it difficult to get an apartment j
where the neighbors will he broad
minded enough to allow me to thump
on a piano until I have a melody ar
ranged to suit me. I try every song
over and over again, until, when I final
ly have a song ready for the printer, I
am so tired of it myself that I hate to
hear it. I write quickly, and have been
fortunate in the past in selecting airs
that have struck public fancy. When
I write a play, I work differently. I
use a phonograph, and dictate in it, as
the ordinary stenographer makes me
Then I take the
stenographer's copy of my conversa-
tion and revise it until it looks like a
Chinese puzzle, and then have it fresh
ly typewritten. When I wrote the mu
sic for 'The Time, the Place and the
Girl' and 'The Umpire,' I labored for
a long time, but pot good results final-
;ly. With my two pieces, 'The Girl
Question' and 'The Flower of the
Ranch.' I seemed to work more easily
The songs seemed to come of their own
accord, and I flatter myself that I have
never done better work. In 'The Flow-
er of the Ranch" especially I seemed
to he able to write characteristic mu
sic, full of atmosphere. It may he that
this was because I wrote the play my
self, and felt inspired with the scope
and breadth of the western subject."
At the Elite. The present bill at the
Elite continues to draw large crowd.-.
The School Roys and Girls" being th.?
center of attraction, the young ladies
of the company having received many
beautiful lloral offerings and tho en
tire company receiving unstinted
praise. Tomorrow is the last appea -
ance of the present bill. On Monday
there will he an entire change of pro
gram, consisting of the Risleys, one
of the greatest acrobatic and han.l
balancing acts on the stage. This is
the first act of its kind to offer in
Rock Island this season. Kenyon,
Haley and Allnian who have some
thing new in a comedy singing act.
will appear as will Ada Howell, sing
ing soubrettr, and Owen and Ganiber,
the great Australian musical novelty
act. This act comes direct from
Australia to the Elite and will be
positively their first appearance ii
America. Owen and Camber carry
many novel musical instruments an 1
are masters of all. Illustrated song.
and the latest pictures complete th"
hill. Mrs. E. Childs won the special
prize, a set of dining room chairs a
the matinee yesterday.
SUBSCRIPTIONS FOR LONG
VIEW PARK ARE PAYABLE
Commissioners Need Money Pledged
to Repay Loan on Which Work
Has Been Carried On.
The following appeal for the early
payment of subscriptions for the im
provement of Ixmg View park w:s
handed The Argus for publication t
day: To the Subscribers to the Long
View Park Improvement:
The board of Park commissioners,
for the purpose of completing the paik
at an early date which was the unani
mous desire of the people, commenced
the improvement at an early date in
April last. There was no money in
our hands at that time. The appro
priation of the city council for UlOtJ
was expended and the subscriptions
of the citizens paid last year were
also expended to push the work to
completion, we secured money by loan
at the hank intending to repay the
money from the citizens' subscriptions
when they shauld be paid in. We
are now indebted to the bank in about
the sum of $2,.1(i0. We have unpaid
citizens' subscriptions for about that
amount and we depend on these t )
pay up our indebtedness.
Thanking the citizens for their lib
erality and the promptness with which
they have heretofore paid in, we do
most earnestly request those subscrib
ers who know that their subscription
is not fully paid, to pay in the amount
due at an early date. Please do not
delay in making these payments.
President Board Park Commissioner
Why Graham Crackers Are Healthful
Graham Hour is the whole kernel
of the wheat, ground without bolting.
or, in othe words, without being sifted
through bolting cloths.
Being the whole of the wheat, it
therefore contains, all the nutriment of
the wheat, and has the additional vir
tue of increasing the activity of tin
Graham crackers are the most de
licious food made from this flour, and
are especially desirable for persons of
sedentary habits or occupation, be
cause their stimulating effect material
ly helps the digestion.
The use of Graham crackers is als-
a convenient way of furnishing variety
to the diet, which alone helps greatly
toward good appetite and digestion.
The Graham crackers baked by the
National Biscuit company are differenr
in flavor and better than any of th?
old-fashioned kinds. They are made
scientifically by perfected processes,
which preserves the natural sweetness
and goodness of the wheat, and gives
them a delicious nutty flavor entirely
lacking in the Graham crackers made
in the old crude way. They are packed
toy the National Biscuit company ir.
moisture and dust proof packages, and
are consequently not only crisp, fresh
and clean, but have lost none of their
A package within easy reach of the
children ami a package on the table
at every meal will do much toward
keeping the family in good health
and spirits. To get them, simply ask
anywhere for a package of Red Label
Graham Crackers made by the Na
tional Biscuit company.
Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diar
rhoea Remedy, Better than
"Three years ago we had three doc
tors with our little hoy, and everything
that they could do seemed in vain. At
last when all hope seemed to be gone
we began using Chamberlain's colic,
cholera and diarrhoea remedy, and In
a few hours he began to Improve. To
day he is as healthy a child as parents
could wish for." Mrs. B. J. Johnston,
Linton, Miss. For sale by all druggists.
DeWitt's Kidnev and Bladder Tills
are best for backache nrwl weak kid-
ney9. Sold by all druggists.
To Clarence Mart.
Dear Sir: In Champaign, m., th
drug firm of H. Swanuell & Son, fn-i
class concern, painted some new shew
ing with two coats of Devoe lead-an i
zinc Inside Gloss White.
A painter coming into the store no
ticed it, and remarked that tliy v
getting extravagant .putting ennm -I
pain on their shelves.
When they told him it was sin.n!.
two coats of Devoe lead-and-zinc :u
new wood he could hardly believ. p..
Result That painter us-es a lot ,r
Devoe paint now; and gets satisfac-ory
results with it.
Any paint that's bettor than you ex
pect is a good paint to use.
F. W. DEVOE - CO ,
New York and Chi. ago.
P. S. Paridtm Wall Paper and Dor
orating company sells our paint.
Makes Work Easier.
Rock Island People Are Pleased to
Learn How it is Done.
It's pretty hard to attend to duties
With a constantly aching back;
With annoying urinary disord'TjS.
Doan's Kidney Pills make work
They cure backache.
They cure every kidney ill.
Arthur Geiger, jju'J Twentieth stre t.
Rock Island. 111., says: "I have known
what it is to suffer from kidney trou
ble, and for the benefit of thote who
may he troubled as I was, I want to
recommend Doan's Kidney Pills as a
sure and safe cure for the very wor.nt
cases. For many years I was troubled
with a dull aching sensation through
my back. I paid little attention to it
for some tune, but it did not go awav
but kept geting worse. My woik calls
for considerable stooping, and when
ever I would stoop 1 would suiter se
vere shouting pains across the smad
of my back on arising. This continued
for some time and one day it got uj
severe I had to give up my work and
go home. The pains and aches grew
steadily worse, accompanied by a too
frequent passage of the kidney secre
tions which was very annoying, panic
ularly at. night, as it broke up my rest
I sent for a doctor and he gave mo
medicine, but it did no gixid. Doan's
Kidney Pills were recommended to i
by a friend and I procured a box at tin
Harper house pharmacy. I was su.-
prised at the quick results. Tin y hal
immediate effect. I continued taking
them for a few weeks, and was at my
work again. The pains had left m-
iind the passages of the kidney secre
tions became normal. I can heartily
recommend Doan's Kidney Pil'.s for
anvone suffering from similar trou
For sale by all dealers. Price fine
Foster-Milburn company. lliUTalo. New
York, sole agents for the United States,
Remember the name Doan's and
take no other.
I have opened a tailor shop at.
1S2:1 Second avenue,
WITH NEW GOODS, NEW
Where you can get clothes that
will he made by real tailors thai
keep in touch with the latest
styles and know how to produce
Yours for good tailoring,
Builder of good clothes for
men. Opposite the Harper house,
1823 Second avenue.
2,IHM) Poliej fur f I n Month.
AXV WCLPATIOX. AM V ACCinKNT
Live men. well ncipiniiited. wanted
in Uoek island and neihliorintr
towns, to sell this polioy.
Hid Money for Aicfot" who v ill Work
If you lire a hustler, WlilTK NOW
und secure territory. Kxperiente not
BANKERS ACCIDENT ASSOCIA
TION. KitNt St. l.miiM, III.
JOHN VOLK & CO.
Manufacturers of Sash, Doors,
Blinds and Stairs. Interior Fin
ish of All Kinds. Hardwood Ve
neer Flooring, and DEALERS
311 AND 329
ROCK ISLAND, ILL,
t . ii -aywt. i . ..4.-- m .
Registration Day, Tuesday, Sept. 3
. . J
: tft tC
Sunday, Sept. 1.
E. J. Carpenter Presents rnini-is
for the First Time Here,
' Why Girls Leave Homo"
One uf the i4iMt l"nvertf it I PnrtnrN In
I he Work of Niiliomil IU-ioriti.
I'uxliircly (Iran. Morn I. iiikI lnnfrue-
Monday, Sept. 2.
liner mill I : veil Int.
PnWel! Odin's Cinnplete lVndnelioii
of the (Tre:it Ann rie.in Com
TO DIE AT DAWN
By Jlalton Powell.
Great Heart Throbs and Laughs Hap
See llir ISiiml It !llln:i! Million mul lie
SrnNntloiml Itexem- frniii I niler
flic Imm-Ih of tho llm-k)
SINGING AND DANCING SPECIAL
TIES. PKICKS loe. :'iie. .tile and .".He. Seats
on sale at theater. Phone west 221. Mat
inee price loe jiimI 2.".e.
Theater Eighteenth Street.
BILL FOR MONDAY, TUES
DAY AND WEDNESDAY,
TWO HISI.KIS TWO
The World's Greatest Acrobats,
and Hand Ha lancers.
KESiVOV llXI.I V V AM. MAN,
Comedy Sililnpr Act.
The (Jreat Austi iliaii Musical
Novelty Act Direct from
I1.I.1STATF.IJ SO.Mi AM) TUP.
I. ATKST PICT KKS.
A J 1 0
For picnics, dances, society
meetings and public and private
gatherings of all kinds
Everything new and redeco- j
ated. Telephone for open dates.
Good Pencils Cheap.
We have a large stock of HIGH
GRADE PENCILS on which ads hava
heen printed, that we will retail at
FACTORY COST PRICES. These
pencils are positively as good as new.
and are much better than can be ob
tained elsewhere at twice the money.
It wilLpay to come over and get a
218 East Third St.
detail information cheerfully furnished.
Phones Old, West 246
s Yoi Wil
k to Me N
HOW TO FIND JONES: GO TO HIS OLD STAND, THEN GO
THE WAY THE SUN SETS JUST FIVE DOORS. THE NEW
NUMBER IS 1G09 SECOND AVENUE, ROCK ISLAND. THEN
I KNOW YOU WILL NOT BLAME ME FOR MOVING, FOR THE
BUILDING AND LOCATION ARE NICE ENOUGH FOR. A
BANK INSTEAD OF A SECOND HAND STORE.
TALK ABOUT PEOPLE SWELLING UP. DID YOU EVER
HEAR OF ANYBODY GETTING SO SWELLED AS TO BREAK
THE FLAGSTONES IN FRONT OF HIS STORE? THAT'S
JUST WHAT JONES, THE SECOND-HAND AND LOAN MAN,
DID. THE STONE WEIGHED OVER TWO TONS. PRETTY
BIG STONES PRETTY BIG STORY BUT COME AND SEE
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF PAYING $16,000 FOR A SEG
ONO-HAND STORE? NOTHING TOO GOOD FOR MY CUS
TOMERS. I WILL BE GLAD TO SHOW YOU THROUGH M
PLACE OF BUSINESS, WHICH IS THE LARGEST, FINEST
NEATEST AND MOST ATTRACTIVELY ARRANGED SEC
OND HAND STORE WITHIN A THOUSAND MILES OF ROCK
DROP IN AND SEE
1609 Second Avenue.
PHONES: W.706-Y; 5182.
Are you owing several small hills in several places, where it takes
all your money each week to piy on these bills? If ft), don't worry,
hut t-onie to us, for our business was established to lulp all those who
We will loan any amount from $".no to $200 on household goods,
horses and wagons, pianos, or o.lier personal property, without remo
val, and arrange the payments in either weekly or monthly install
ments, and then one small payment made either once a week or once
a month will pay on all your hols.
Seventy-two cents is the wo ?kly payment on a ?30 loan for 50
weeks' time, and all other amounts at same proportion.
EVERYTHING STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL.
. We loan in Buffalo, Le Claire, Princeton, Clinton, Silvis, East Mo
line, and all nearby towns. t " itf,
If you need money, fill out the blank below and mail to us, and our
agent will call and explain all of our plans to you without charge.
Letters and phone calls given prompt attention.
Old Phone N. 2425.
... .f ...
ME. I HAVE THE STORE. I HAVB
1609 SECOND AV., ROCK ISLAND
219 Brady Street, Davenport ; 1
and Saturday Nights.