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'v'v---.v;1-. . J - ' ...' .. .... .: ' .. . , , ...
;-"-it V :3JVU:H--ttoAAGtf&;SAjUJllAY. JUNE 27. 1008.
V -"! ". : . .r. I 2. a .. w ........ . s
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Correspondence solicited from every
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I council T m
Saturday, June 27, 1908.
So lately as 1813 the British East
India company decided that trade with
Japan was not worth cultivating.
That ramping, raging Jhfrd term
thing wasn't so terrifying whejn faced.
In fact, it went out like a fainUwlfeeze.
Ohio is doing "Its best to maintaf
Its name as the mother of predentaj
but we shall know better about tha
Mr.iCortelyou wasn't nominated for
anything, nor even mentioned, but he
la doing pretty well for a stenographer
Prank H. Hitchcock says he is ill
and cannot run the Taft campaign.
That convention made a lot of fellows
111 and some will never get over it
According to Viceroy. Tuan Fang
there are 1.930 opium aops li the
Shanghai foreign' settlements, ami
he wishes orders from Pekin'fo close
According to the policqj centas thfi
population of Washington is $39?402,
an increase of 9,812 over lasts yeaa
There are 241,920 whites ana"J7,48
The republican party d"iJ nit care
for the idea that publicity should at'
ach to campaign contributions. U
probably knows it has a hard fight
By the way, how is Tafjt gonjg ta
meet the people during this . anfpaignt
He hasn't a front lawn, a "ptfuch? or
even a house. He may have tpSjoli qa
Brother Charles again. ,f
Prince Helie is said to bssMisfie4
with $300,000 a year as a ;-Birfiaga
seUlement. His creditor hawe" ftOt yet
teen heard from. Arita Goulfl Jys
high for her titled husbands. m&2
From the things we hear tatrouf
Yates and Deneen these two gentle
men will soon find themselves in taa
same class of undesirables with the-
nature fakir and the baseball umpire.
Grove Cleveland twice president, of
tne united states ana for a generation
of time in the public eye is hi his
tomb. - Tomorrow he will be forgotten.
ereat as he was. So the world mnve
on. ' "
In the eleven counties ot? Southeast
Missouri containing swamp or ovet-
flowed lands, thirty-one drainage
tiiiVlies or canals have been ion
stnicted, with a total length -of jibout
600 miles. These " ditches4 have re
claimed -255,000 acres of land
The democratic party has had am
anti-government by Injunction j)lanft
as its professed policy for a good num
ber of years, but it was Mr. jftoose
velt who gave vitaliy to theJsbue, Th5
republicans have him to thank, for an
Issue that will greatly vex them.
Peoria Star: The presentation of
Joe Cannon's name to Jhe republican
convention elicited? noa enthusiasm
but after he was beaten, everybody,
was glad to take him by the hand ami
give him an ovation. Perhaps part of
their .enthusiasm arose from the fact
that nobody, will have to yell for him
during the coming campaign. Most of
the work on the stump for the reoubli
cans will be spent in examining away
Joe's rulings as speaker of the nouse
Alschulcr for llryan
The 'stories printed . in the Chicago
papers several weeks ago, ancf whlcb;
, were reprinted in a few country pa:
pers, to the effect that Hon. Samuel
Alschuler had called on . Governor
Johnson, id St -'Pa pi; that Mr. Al
" schiiler was very much . "in Iavor of
Johnson for president, ahtl further .that
if Johnson wa nominated for presu
dent, Mr. Alschuler wouw immediately
announce himself as aTcandjdatw fo
the democratic nomination for gover
nor, are pure fabrications, and evident
; ly were intended to cause Mr. Alschul
er embarrassment. During ther&pub-J
iicuu uaiiuuat cuuveuiiuu iu uicau
last week, J. L. Pickering, offspring;
field, called on Mr. Alscjiuler anjj dur
ing the Interview, the "newspaper re
ports were mentioned, and were de-
enounced by the democratic leader ot
- i?uv as pure iauncauuus. iur. ai
echuler's -brother, George, wS in St.
Paul attending the sessions or a fra
ternal order, and in company with, a
numher of othr mprrthera rt fhe order
tald his respects to Governor Johnson!.
That incident is the only, basis for the'
stories circulated. . .. .
Mr. Bryan," remarked Mr. Alschuler, "I1
regad'hiifi as.awqntter. TheresTls nb
pofsible qiiesion 'cart Be 'is te over
whImlngT choice oftne dfemqcf acy ffl
the," coun Jry, and of the dmcra1:y ef
IllBiois. If ye cant elct him we
can't elect rfhybodx.. .dlS deny
fhe,, newspapfc'j stories mentioned, ne
agseI did not believe tliey dsfted
any attention, vsthatever. Certainly
those who kno me, and. know my per
sonal sentimente iTor Mr. Bryan,. would
Lnot believe such tashk I hve nod
suuui out uovernwr, juansuu is a guuu
ma3 and a trie democrat, bt feryan Is
the choice of the. country. We all
know hm "and what he stands for, and
what he will do, and we are all for
Cleveland's Iat Public Address.
Mr. Cleveland's last public aldress
was befqr the Union League"club jpf
Chicago. Ffib. 22;.1907. Like all is
utterances. It was an. appeal for pub
ic righteousness. Qpextract reveais1
the hightone of. the affldress:
"If we"'fin that the wickednesof
destructive agitators ndthe selfish
depravity of demjpgues Ifave stirred
up -discontent an ayife where there
shotild b peacei and hamony and
hav,p arrayed3 against eacji other In
terests that should be in hearty" co
operation; iOwe firillfibat fhe old
standadsSbf sturdy, uncompromising
American honesty have become so
corroded and weakened byj a soMid
atmosphere that our people ar&-,nard-
ly "startled by crime, in high jrplaces
ana snameiui neirayais- or trusvevery
where : if we hnd a sadi) prevalent
disposition arnqig us to turn from the
highway of honorable Industry into
shorter crossroads lending to Irre
sponsible and worthless ease; if we
find that widespread wastefulness and
extravagance have discredit! the
wholesome frugality which was once
the pride 'of, Americanism, we should
recall Washington's admonition. that
ljarmony, industry and frugality are
essential pillars of puljic felicity' and
forthwith endeavor to change -our
Thtf true man is also seen hv"a let-1
ter. "written to nis brothegofl the eve
of Ws . election Qf governor of Kew
"I have just fsxrted,; and 1 sit IjCec
in the .offioe. alpile. Jf riikherjwere
alive I ahouid"-be . writing -lb Iref, alid
i iqci as it icwere"ij -uiue iqi me xo
write 1o omeoTe wfa will beljeve
.yhqst I write. Ijliave ior-sttme time
been3in the wmospbereof pertaut
supces, so that ' I iave, befn sure that
I feiould a3time; thd duties of me
higfi office for whfc& I liave' tten
naniied'.'l I?aVe;tHed.- ti'ard Ihi. the face
ofth!s fapt'topi'operlj"' appreciate, the
respcoiSiblliUes. -: ; that :,wIXJ' rest upon
mat and they caie much-oo much
unQereslimte.(J.'Bivk the thought
tha has . troubled me Is : Can I per
form' my. duties, and iA such a man
ner as , to dp, some 'tod to jthe peo-
LPlOi of tha, stele? Itknow there is
room for It, anJ know there is sin-
cere aim uuiicm jji uij utsue 114 uu
well, But .th .tpsestioii is vrhethor J
know enough Jo accomplish what I
desire. In point of iaot, I will tell
you, first of all others, the policy I
inteid to adopt, and" that Is to.ma'ke
the Jjiatter a business, engagement, be-n
tween thew DeoDle and mvself. in
whicji the obligationon rny side is. to
perform the duties t.assigned Jtne witn
aiL eyesBingle (6 the interests of my
employers. I shall h&ve nt' idea of
reelection or of any high Kijitical
preferment In mykhea'd, jtitbe vety
thankful and happy if I serve one
term as the people's governor. tk
yeuan'6w that if mother were alive 'I
shonl4 feel so mucjh.. safer. I have
always, theught tnat her prayers had
much tot dp WUfi,my feucctfss. shall
expect 'you to nelp mte in fhat'3way.
"Some Figures and a Lesson.
The Hon. Richard Xates first flashed
tti. - 2 . ........ .
line a meieoi across' me political SKy
in 882. He was republioancatldidate
for congressman at large from Illinois,
witlj George S? Avillets as running
mate. Both' were defeated in the land
slide of that year. Yates, loi ,,out by5
34,uz, Willetts Jjy 24,80u; that is,
Yates got 1244 votes less than the
1 1 ii - . . rt '
oiner repiiDiiean running ror tne'fiame
wute, iwimu ue ie;ieu.
in lauii. vates ran for governorl
against Samuel AIscHuler. He defeat
ed he ilemocratic candidate by 61,233
1 uiiuujs ji.ioo vuies m me en
tire steep beljind jM.cKinley.ewho head
ed the ticket. OC the candidates for
state office, Yatesfan jbehiad Lieuten
ant ,Goverftor Ifothcoft 13.789 votes..
ueuum oecreiary uf. aaie itose IV, bi t ;
beh&id Auditoj McCuOough'45,049, and
behind Attorney Geenral" Hamlin 26,-
167,all on the same tidife wijh him.
and ail eleatecr together. In '4906 Cul-
Iomfold, bowed with ageA and in 111
health, skinned him to the tune of 63.-
390? Jrot'es, '.with Yates asyoung vigor
ous: fcampajgner, and tBthen undim
nfeVresrfe.of his record as governor
made twoveats befort. In 1900 he
Lreceived. 57,0,82 1 votes for the high of
fice b governor. In 190C 13.7,656 men
castftheiij ballots, foflf senator from II
lino,, or, less than one-fourth of the
number who voted for aim six years
before. , HisVecprd as. a vote getterJ
has Been breaking rapidly, and he does
not seemo know how to prevent it.
."Deneep,- Jike Yates, entered n his
political-career in 1892, the year of the
landslide. JHe was returned to "the
"general assenjbly from the Second dis-
trict'ln Chicago y 41,470 votes, when
the legislature was made up of
jldemacratic majority, He w3s elected
SstatfJ's attornev of ' Cooir conntv fn
1900 the same year Yates was elected
governor. In. Cook county that sear
Yatej ran.. 15.130 votes behmd'McKin
votes than ttie mattyre president' In
J 'Jp?1 y V f1vyyS . ' youth, when the Saturday's chpVes were through,
V J(j$ Vi 'jj. I, y f : And the "SundaLy. wood" inthyiltcken. too. A
IWfe-'-si- Outto.Old Aunt "j
jj rh,jf SlSX comgsWo clear today! ;
rr'"v!: 4 'L- )rffio '"'' Thougjn &m wl&Jd as you nxe gr&.y, .
feSkl the Wn lot ad down the lave
Sa" wijyf-' We patter &Jon in the dust again,
.YP 'I j--22- . . A-1 e tips of thejleDnk of the rain.
WhjeVhe fljf1" oldjfeCeSegoom
jTnereinejinie gouracgreyup tne ku p e,L"( imvwivvm
YheJphtArd ropfUnd her fkce-ah. m- rf J''.4?4 kep!
aanN it odd foViqto iee A K3SlhWfEt lanuorleiit-
V. AndwajtUood fOoy to Be lEfiP'l nlaoged"Lnd weirt
rtt- U- tV A-i- j - A ftWiTJT-OS A il'rlrTS::. .
And, the d
And the swet
Out to 0
Copyright by James Whitcomb Riley
with Rooseveltcijunning for president.
outstripping thaf, popular ,idJl by
4JvQtes m Cooijf county, in
th sfe aflargflf 0 0
o These figures t"eJJtwo stori. . On
? tliat Yats has een a candfdatfor
9fficethfec times1, otioc tor congfces
ian, pnep fop governor once wr ,sen
atqj", Ea'ch'' timet he jias, ryn ftirie-hlnd-
hjs other mates on theiticketiaoi
has twice suffere'dfgnominus. defeat:
Deneen- has at leMotjfour ti'njes been n,
candidate pnee fOr tljp legislature,
twicg for state's attorney of ooii coun
'y J?nee for" governor Neither
race tl.js ben a deiat, anju ecii
and eyerylnstance he haS'Yan ahead
of hishiiaSes onlJjiieieft.pt
strtpping "the 'fiowitiafJitmifnee.
That'lesson is for republica. .
The other lesson is'oneiit should
sink deep Into the hearts ef demo
cratic voterf Neither ,of?t!ise men
has, jever dotui anytuijdilnKfs .life
since' reaching manhood l)St jioldymb-
lic office. Witen Yates war riot in
state politics1' he wason, tSvfederit
An .. t ..Lli-i. v !
has been a cpntiuudas officeholder.
with brief eexceptioo sincarVtS92.
Their relegation to privatarme'&y the
substitution ofSamuePAlshuler James
Hamilton, LewisfJohn EciIcSoerty or
Dougias' fattJBoiijfis govewor next fan
is. in order.
iA great manj spublicans are like
the man at 4Jie funeraL They won't
have 'tinythine 16 do with ihe obse
quies,but will heartily approve cir
The Foitlrth pf Julfc .
The people are always gfad to ob
serje the glorious Fourth. And Its
oDservance snouia oe such as to cause
people to anticipate its coming wth
Itecamiot be saki, however, that the
genej-al public havepleasurable aijtiqi-
pation telativeto the advent of the"
Fourth aii they thhil ike' annual
listt-jpf fatal ind oth accidents ipc
dent to celebration Independence
dav. ' . &
j am v
It te unfortunate that The eJebratiftn
of the Feurth is. uch as"tftr;eujBe s8
mauy peopiego remarir:
"I wish it was ovqfQlf
Thii? is nrtt hecanqpi F nnt larlr of
. . . -
patriotic devotion to Lh glorious les
sors which the Fourth t July brines
to mind as we contemplate lhe lgn-
lngot the Dejciaratlon orjindesenjl-
anoo an the struggles for freedom s
saie which led'up to that climax. It
is"ot that thelK .is a lesening Bgen
uine 'devotion to the memory of the
heroes who paid their lives for this
But -itcannot be gainsaid that oa
Jury Tourts much of th noise made is
meaningless. But even the great din
which sometimes, fogs the stars and
c tipes in a cloud of cannon cracker,
gunpowder could be tolerated were it
not for the loss of life and limb each
Independence day incident to this
noise-making. , -
The hour is at hand to sound the
preliminary warnings .of the' danger of
the toy cannon, the cannonS cracker,
and Hvorse than all the toy pistol which
annually claims its ion? listof lock
jaw victims. - ,
- ' at .Tetter Cured. - tm
A lady$ustanier ot ours had suffered
with tetter foetwo or three years. It
got so bad on ner bands that-she could
not attend to her household duties.
One box ofChamberlain's Salve cSred
fher. Chamfferlaln'a. ? medicines give
splendid satisfaction hi this communi-
- ' ty. Mrfl. Rodney &o" Almond, AlaJ
"by all 'uruggists. ; .
ier ndiUice pKrWs she AmS 'This iltoiejCyoCTe we.itsrfiK M(Li
sWwckks ofpchVhd pea. ToweKomeds. Aunt Marffelir W'c
jmon in cm and u things KaLre. X AsIeeDThis-mormnf, whisDerinx. "leu r :
ehiore eite waTlheiore tospaxe ,v. The bovs to come!" And all is well f'
HTluntMairVs! w eV -
Asleep This-Iorrunl, whispering. "Tell
The boysTo eorae!" And all is well
Out to Old Aunt Mary's.
. " e G
ilrgu Daily Short Story
:K- 'WS.szdmg'By Lulu Johnson.
"Oi. "sPyrljFte4,.Jb8, by Associated Literary Press. "
o nift?bcycvjfs liavip the tiie of hU
yaa$$ c.ille; huDiade the startling
(JiScvtfry" titi't'0 tte' of'- jading
thlpputer-wKbou t getttngliis
feet; weo $verjv.as ilotiuS 0, the gfeat
enjoj'oif Wliig throtfgti 'Water whictt
cRme er tiie top" of ike rubber boots.
oThe cold n ter was refreshing to feet
ttcod an& VBhihig from the double beat
of thlctwyYeitningud impervious
rubber. .TJiolr. "Jjoj. gtfglin.iriiijkmd
nrojJfteed'T thi inoement of the foot
witnljj, the liaof'and the pull ofSii
water as uejjiusbou forwiird each was
a separate' Joy. - ' ... ;
TUis joy. alas, was tUrearpned with
QXtofelnatiobi' the nhcxnecteJDaft'
p'roach of Ms sneri. "Villlewiy turned
his Sflck on the -sore hnd affected
:a diBcp absorptioa io-.the expanse of
'the "Take. O a . .
Vttt ws barirly posslrile that Ndl
might not recprpize binJt if ekept his
WITHOUJ ANOTHElt WOKI BANSISTEB
back turned. S9 he- stared out over
the lake with nn intenseness that
proved hismdoing for hl3 sister was
attracted bjaeflnftmotionless little flg
ureaml 8topfled4o.seewhat held the
child'yattentiou for "sq, long.
B$th $he an&AVhuf "Bannister paus
ed and strained their eyes In an en
deavor to dis&ver"whBt the JnfePest
ing object ralgfcPbe. jftsiS faiyng to see
anything unusual in the appearance of J
the lake or thg general vie w. they
turned their 'an&tion to the small
figure. "'"'' ' 0
Detectkm would have been instan
taneous 1 WUHeboy hjd not taken the
precaution to erchiftge coats with a
neighbor boy early in the fhornbjig.
More than once thg Ege had led to
escape in some adventure, sincethe
owner of the eoft was able to prove
an alibi. This time is Proved fatlle.
however, ancf willleboy's own ladlscre-
tion proved his undoing. -
"-PeeDinz from the corner of his eye.
he saw tbat the. lake shore as far as
te next turn was. deserted, and un
wisely h. decided, that." Kejl. and Ap.
, '-. : JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY.
thur hMl passed arouhd 'the curve and
out of sight.
He was chuckling at bis own clever
ness when the smile froze upon his
lips, for as he turned he confronted his
sister,- whose roice rose in shrill com
mand that' be come out at once.
"Won t." declared Wiliiefcoy.
"Yotfll'get a whipping ifyou don't
come out this instant," sail fell firmly.
Villicboy smiled knowingly as he
stiGoli Aiis bead. Whether he came or
riot, punishment was now inevitable.
so he'inifiht as well eniov his fun to
tb utajost before he came forth to be
snftfi-Sv thr.ihpd e'fnot stana between mem. aiter aii.
"Yoa'U. catch ,- four death of cold,"
warned sf ell,-; and Wlllieboy smiled
afrcslu. The borne treatment for colds
was :t;0el!cious compound which mo-
lasses figured largely, and Willleboy en-
j. i-vi uat L'uiUB, irtcu lib cue vuai UL
pain in the throat and a feoiing as
though. Maggie bad put a flatlron on
'Are you coming?" demanded Nell
as Ylftlieboy' smile widened.
"No Mid 'Willleboy, witn impolite
"If I 'have to come and get you"
Willleboy was moved to unseemly
mlrtbr.nd even Arthur smiled be-
neathTils mustache at the idea, of Nell
In her pretty spring frock wading into
the muddy waters of the lake after her
truant brother, '
But H'illiebtry was again his own
undoing, for his ' calm defiance now
moved Nell to tears,
'ipped off. his coat
1 O matter
bound to force some valuable
employee to do work that can be done
better quicker cheaper by the
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Whether banker, broker, manufac
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The Universal has a carriage that ''
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in red, is easy to operate, is
We solicit the opportunity of
demonstrating to you on yoar
work, in your office at our ex
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.- Drop us a postal today.
Forest H. Montgomery, District Sales
Agent, Suite 1834-183G, Commercial Na- -tionai
Bank Building, Chicago, ni.
Universal. "Adding Machine company
St. Louis. . Branch offices in- all prin
cipal cities.- . . "
' "Wniiam,' ' he thundered, "if yon
don't come ashore this - Instant III
come after your'
Willleboy eyed him for an Instant as
though to size up bis determination,
and the delay was fatal, for without
another word Bannister strode into
Slowly Willleboy backed away nntii
he reached the edge of the bank b
yond, where the bottom shelved sharp
ly downward. There was a cry from
Nn.' in exolam;tlon from Banuister,
itnd Willleboy went over backward
Into the deep water of the channel.
I Down, down be went the boots pre
senting his rising again to the top,
and the ory of terror which he sought
i to voice became a- mere, bubble before
jit reached the surface. Then he felt
Something strike liira. a band grasped
nis collar, ana Willleboy knew no more
until he woke in bis own little bed
at home cud looked up into bis moth
er's eyes, red rimmed from weeping.
"Did he get meV" demanded Willie
boy. r. His mother nodded.
"Arthur always gets what he goes
after,", said Willieboy contentedly. -If
he'd waited I was coming In."
The boy dropped off to sleep again.
But Nell, oomiug down the ball, beard
the words, and she flushed softly. Ar
thur Bannister bad a habit of getting
what be wanted. At times it seemed
to Nell as if he wanted her, and the
thought brought a soft flush to her
cheeks and a happy smile to her lips.
But in the days that followed the res
cue of Wiliiefcoy It seemed as If Ban
nister had changed his mind, for,
though he was a frequent caller and
Ids eyes glowed with admiration as
they rested upon Nell, be did not speak
the words that hovered upon his
Still more significant was the fact
(that he no longer maneuvered to rid
himself of the presence of Willleboy
when that trouble brewer appeared
upon the sceue.
One afternoou the loy was sitting
upon Bannister's lap as the latter wait
ed for Nell to come downstairs, and
with the curiosity of youth Willie
boy was pursuing his Investigations.
The recent Tescue of a pretty girl
from the-lake and a subsequently an
nounced engagement between the res-
jcued and rescuer had roused the boy's
I "We can't be engaged, caq we?" de
manded the child.
"Not very well." admitted Bannister,
with a langb.
"But you saved me," persisted the
uoy. v e ouKin 10 ue eiiKugeu; v ujr
don't you be engaged to Nell Instead?
That would be nicer."
For an instant Bannister forgot that
lie was speaking to a child.
"That was a bad day's. work for me,
Willleboy. I'm glad I saved you. but
now my hands and tongue are tied."
The child started at the odd note In
his sister's voice. "Don't bother Mr.
Bannister any longer." she contlnued.
And as Willleboy fled Bannister
sprang to his feet with a glad light In
' his eyes. He knew that she had heard
and understood. Willieboy's rescue did
Flying Machine' That Flies.
In the early part of this year a very
successful test was made with a large
raeroplane over a circuitous route,
rose, dipped and turned just at the op
erator's will, but notwithstanding this
degree of perfection, this mode of trav
el still seems a long way off. Many
successful tests have been made with
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters during the
past 54 years in cases of stomach, liver
and bowel disorders. In fact, it has
i 5u.red so often af,ter other remedies had
IdIltu inai u ,s lcOKea n vom-
inent physicians as a very superior
medicine. It cures and prevents sick
headache, belching, heartburn, poor ap
petite, dyspepsia, indigestion, costive
ness, biliousness, kidney ills and ma
laria, fever and ague. Don't hesitate
I about trying it because, we guarantee
j every bottle to be absolutely pure.
how large or how
business. It . is.
Humor a& Philosophy
By DUNCAN ML SNTTI
PETTY BRIBERY. 7
The man who hands you a cigar
Has something up his sleeve.
He'll ask a favor, you may bet.
Before he takes bis leave.
Or If he doesn't spring it then
A day or two will see - .
The Inner workings of his schema.
Just take the tip from me.
He Isn't passing them around.
No odds how small the price.
Unless he banks on something mora
Substantial than advice:
Unless he figures on returns
To more than amply pay
For every cheap or costly smoke
He atops to give away.
He wants to use your buggy horse
Or court your sister Jane;
He wants to touch you (or a loan
Or sell you mines in Spain;
He wants to have you on a bond
Or sign with him a note.
And In nine cases out of ten
He also wants your vote.
Cigars cost money, more or less.
And he who hands them round
Don't do It solely for Ills health.
This Is a truth profound.
He scatters them discernfully
Like bread upon the tide.
Expecting they will wander back
Each ten times multiplied.
yon slug the
man who in
"I am in
training for u
pire." Saved by Their Siza,
A vice president and a couple of lieu
tenant governors were sailing the seas
in searc h of health and pleasure when
a violent storm came up, wrecking -
their bark and casting them adrift on
a cannibal island.
The natives hurried to the shore to
give them a hearty greeting, for they
were tired of the breakfast foods and
dried berries on which they bad been
subsisting for some time.
"What is your business, trade or call
ing?" asked the chief pleasantly before
dispatching them preparatory to dress
big them for the soup kettle.
Tremblingly the men confessed their
humble stations in life. The chief
looked them over and turned away,
with a grunt , "We are not so bard up,
my fellow cannibals," be said, "that
we sre reduced to eating such small
potatoes as that."
For years the family skeleton
Was safely cooped inside
A closet that was ample.
Some two or three fee wide.
They oped J,he door one morning
To give it change of air.
And. lo. to their amazement
The creature wasn't there!
The troubles that we cherish
And nurse from day tc oay
With just a little aunhire
Will quickly fade a war. .
8om 8 peed.
They were siting around tbe table
In a buffet car, ad" tbe liquid refresh
ments were flowing freely. The train
was jogging along at a good pace.
"What tune are we making?" asked
"About a smile a minute." replied a
busy drummer without taking the trou
ble to look out of tbe window and
count tbe telegraph poles.
Knew It Himself.
"He is a truly good man."
"Yes; there is Just one thing that I
can't forgive him for."
"What Is that?"
He can't forget it"
"You make me fired." exclaimed tne
Sirl- V .. :
"Allow me," said the young man,
handing her a card.
"What Is this?'
"The address at which you can find
our rest cure."
The man who plays favorites wltU
the girls need not hope to rank as fa
vorite son. . ,
Scaie people have a friend at court,
but others have to pay a lawyer for
being there. .
The girl who" is fond of candy still
floesn't care to have it all taffy. -
A good opinion of yourself should be
no stumbling block to others, bat It
sometimes is. -
When money talks It doesn't speak
In broken accents.
It makes a man sit np and take no
tice when a pretty girl refers to Ida M
fresh and startling.
These are times that try men's teles
as well as souls. y .
True love is about as busy now as
erer It was despite the barter and ex
change In tbe matrimonial market '
"5 - !
Y :: : ?-
A e " .