Newspaper Page Text
THE ARGUS. THUKSDA'YV'JULY 30, 1908.
Published Dally and Weekly at 1(21
econd avenue, Rock Island. 111. En
tered at the postofflce aa second-class
matter. . ... .- .
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS Dally, 10 cents per week.
Weekly, 11 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, . must
have real name attached for publica
tion. -No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures. ,
Correspondence solicited from every
township In Rock Island county.
CTRADESli arei I COUNCIL E
Thursday, July 30, 1908.
For President of the United
: States, 7 '
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN
s . Of Nebraska.
-.. ' -For Vice President!
: JOHN WORTH KERN
" " Of Indiana. :
I hereby announce myself aa a candi
date for the democratic nomination for
representative from the Thirty-third
senatorial district, subject to the de
cision of the democratic voters of the
district as voiced at . the primary elec
tion Auk. 8. and ask the support of all
who deem me worthy.
C. C. WILSON.
Being a candidate for the democratic
nomination for representative in the
legislature from the Thirty-third sena
torial district, subject to the decision
of the primaries of Aug. 8, I respect
fully solicit the support of my friends
and all those who deem me deserving
and worthy. H. L. WHEELAN. ,
. The democrats of Mercer county
must have credit of toting fair on the
legislative candidacy this trip.
This is the silly season in politics,
and the wise man will only believe
what appears reasonable and appeals
to his common sense.
The failure of the Roosevelt admin
istration to bust the fertilizer trust
will hardly help the republicans to
break the solid south.
Wonder what kind of literature Sen
ator Hopkins will distribute when he
comes to Rock Island? It is a safe
presumption that it wUl not be Collier's. 1
The Chicago Tribune announces that
the Hearst independent movement will
prove a great benefit to Taft. If that
Is the case, it will accomplish its pur
pose. Will coincidences never cease? Eu
gene Chafin .Is ''as bald as Eugene
Debs. ; No . wonder neither of their
parties makes any appeal to the pop
The Inter-Ocean, is the best demo
cratic paper in the magnificent city
of Chicago. - U always works well to
have some intelligent fellows writing
the articles, v.
. .Mr. . Roosevelt - does not seem to
have much of an opinion of the cir
cuit court of appeals, but what Can
be done with judges- who are ap
pointed for life? - -
"You have probably noticed that the
republican platform is silent in re
gard to an income tax. Republicans
lifrc Rockefeller, Harriman and Mor
gan are opposed to such a tax.
Judge Taft says there will be r'er.l
publicity . . "In" the campaign, but
Treasurer Sheldon says "after" the
election is over. But Taft, of
course, will know nothing about cam
Twelve mysterious checks were re
ceived by Treasurer Sheldon when he
was conferring with . Taft at Hot
Springs, but you will have to wait
until "after election" to. know the
names of the malefactors of great
wealth, who thus contributed.
Two-Cent Fare a Sucr-ess.
When the legislatures of several
f-tates two years ago began enacting
2-ctntfare laws a great cry went up
from the railroad companies about the
confiscatory nature of the proceedings
A2'i 1-3. per cent reduction in the
I'ssgenger tariff looked like a tre
mendous cut in the possible earnings
of the railroads. , On the other hand,
the advocates of the 2-cent fare in
sisted that when it was taken in con
junction with the, abolition of free
transportation,, that had been granted
to liberally . by the railroads, the re
duced fare ! would not be found to
work . any serious hardship.
' Experience has justified this con
elusion. . Comparison of .earnings of
the passenger departments- of 12 of
he most Important railway lines In
the country, -operating the, 2-cent fare
system throughout -the greater portion
of. their, lines, show that the. percent
age of passenger earnings To the total
fross earnings has actually" increased
under he; 2-cent fare. This does Jiot
necessarily" mean' that more people
are traveling, Tbut. it Idoes mean that
more people are paying their"' fare
when they do travel. Under the old
fyslem not a passenger train turned
its. wheels but carried .a large percent
age of deadhead traffic, r The pass
holder brought no revenue to the rail
road company and he was confined to
no clas of society r He travels almost
as much, today, as he did before the , mei and gome of them reread several
law abolishing free transportation was; times, thirty -eight of the best were
enacted, but he pays for his ride. andjcopied Gn typewriters that the roanu
to this source can be ascribed therinf i,ri,t ii th hnnris nt the
greater portion of the increased reve
nue from passenger traffic.
The 2-cent fare law, has proven the'.nv one" as to the absolute fairuess iu
claims made for it by its .advocates. .'
The railroads have actually , received
more money under its operation than
iuej uiu ueinie lor naming me same
number ,of passengers.
Yates and Lorimer.
William Lorimer, the notorious
Cook county boss, - is Jbe moving
spirit in the campaign of Richard
Yates for the nomination for governor)
Of Illinois. It is interesting at this .
time to recall what Richard Yates
himself thinks of the man who is his
first lieutenant. In his speech at
Quincy just two . years ago, when
Yates was a candidate for the sena
torthip and was opposed by Lorimer,
"I know if I can get an audience in
Chicago I, can tell the young men of
that city something they should know.
I shall speak to young men. who listen
to. me. I will tell them of Billy Lorr
imer. I will tell them that. I have no
scars except those I got in fighting
for -William Lorimer. These young
men may be thinking seriously of a
political career for themselves They
may. . want " to be elected to local of
fices, to be sent to the legislature, or
to congress.- I have but one word to
tay-, to these young men beware of
William Lorimer.: William Lorimer
never had a friend whom he did not
betray. William Lorimer has cast off
every man who ever did him a favor
whenever it was to his advantage to
cast him off."
'Today the "man of the hour" has
again allied himself with the politi
cian whom he formerly condemned in
the most bitter language. Soft words
of flattery and bitter words of abuse
flow equally freely from the lips of
this perpetual candidate. '
Another Side of War.
New York World : . No more effective
peace sermon could be preached than
the estimate of General Blume, pub
lished by the German general staff, as
to the probable cost of a modern Euro
pean war. Putting the number of
troops that Germany could call to arms
at 4,750,000, the cost to Germany, he
says, of a war with another, European
power would be $1,500,000,000 a year
as long as it lasted. On the basis of
the war between Russia and Japan, in
whkh tne Japanese lost in killed and
wounaea zu per cenc oi meir armies,
Germany would lose in the same length
of time approximately 900,000 men.
The cost in treasure andthe loss in
human lives would be only the begin
ning. Financial depression and par
alysis of industry would follow jand
cost the nation immeasurably more in
the long run. The account - in blood
and money would be" duplicated" If
Germany were engaged with only one
power. If three or four or even more
powers were involved, as seems prob
able in the light of existing alliances,
Europe would be "bled white" and
plunged in lasting disaster. ; .
This is the other side of the' question
which public men who talk glibly about
war seek to have the people forget.
They do not dwell on the immense debt
of victorious Japan and (its practical
impoverishment, nor do they recall to
attention the appalling waste of Rus
sia's resources, its rickety finances, its
shrunken commerce and the tens of
millions of starving . subjects of the
czar. It will be many years before the
public credit of Great Britain, proud
of the national wealth, recovers from
the setback caused by the Boer war
and the government is able to face
much-needed social reforms at home
without misgivings about'its income.
CONVICT AIDING PLAN.
Kan6an Regards Writing of Liberty
Helpful to Prisoners.
A. G. Gates, ex-chaplain of the Kan
sas State Industrial reformatory at
Hutchinson, Kan., recently brought to
a successful conclusion a very inter
esting contest. A few months ago he
wrote a letter to the various state
penal and reformatory institutions
throughout the country offering a
series of prizes for the best articles
written by prisoners on the subject,
"What Is True Liberty Its Value and
How Obtained?" There was a ready
response to the invitation to compete
in this contest, and the prized were
awarded a few days ago. "
One hundred and forty-seven manu
scripts from institutions la twelve
States were received by Mr.- Gates,
and eleven prizes were awarded a
first prize of $25, a second prize of
$10, a third prize of $5 and eight ad
ditional prizes of $1 each. No. 15,312,
Massachusetts State reformatory, was
the-winner of the first prize, Convict
J. E. R., Alabama State penitentiary,
won the second, and No. 3,219, In
diana State reformatory,' was given
the third prize. The winners of the
first rank in the dollar prizes were:
N. B., State Industrial School For
Girls, Beloit, Kan.; No. 4,177 and No.
5,018, Indiana Sfste reformatory, the
uiretj veing given xne same graue or
merit Other Institutions winninn $1
prizes were Ohio penitentiary. North
Carolina "State prison, - Missouri peni
tentiary, Iowa penitentiarylowa re
formatory. ; and - Allegheny County
workhouse, Pennsylvania. " :
: In explaining the manner In which
the contest was conducted Mr. Gates
J said to a Kansas-City Star reporter:
li i Ji. : ii r i . . m .
i me oue nunarea ana iorrv-
'seven articles were. carelully read Jiy
. ... . .t . ... n 1 " ..
Judges ' In uniform style. And that
there might be ho question raise:l by
the grading of the papers a complete
8et of these copies was placed In the
hands of .each of four judges, who re-
Bide In different states or different sec-
lions of the same state, with the writ
er's .postofflce address omitted and his
name or number marking the author
ship of 'the article. The judges were
the Rev. J. Keut Itizer, pastor of the
... . ? .... ..
Trinity mtheruu church. Tipton. la.;
Miss Kate Smelser. a member of the
Alumni association, Earlham college,
Richmond Tn,1 . Mrs fYirn li. T.ewis.
Kinsley. Kan., 'and the Rev. W. K.
Gray, pastor of the First United Pres
byterian church, Hutchinson, Kan.
"After the work of each of these
judges was completed the articles re
ceiving the ranking positions as indi
cated by each judge's grading were
placed in the hands of the-fifth judge,
George . W. Wiuans, ex-state superin
tendent of public instruction, for final
grading. I feel that this gave an ab
solute correct ranking of the various
efforts of therisouers and a good idea
of their several abilities. I believe that
such contests not only help to develop
the mental faculties of the prisoners,
but cheer their spirits as well, indicat
ing, as it does, that there are persons
on the outside who are Interested in
APPEAL FOR THE MULE.
Shall It Not Have a Vacation as Well
as the Government Horse?
The postofflce department at Wash
ington having decided to allow all
horses owned by it thirty days vaca
tion, the .same as its clerks and. offi
cials, and as numerous applications
have been received from among the
30,000 rural carriers for vacations for
their horses, an inquiry has leen re
ceived from Baltimore as to whether
the goverifment mule, from time im
memorial a faithful and loyal servant,
is to be taken care of. Chief Clerk
Conrad recently received the following
"Will you please inform the Balti
more letter carriers if the vacation ap
plies to the government mules of the
postomce or Baltimore, as they are
now having a hard time."
It is understood that the postmaster
of Baltimore has recently curtailed
vacations in his office.
Memorial to Joel Chandler Harris.
An "Uncle Remus" home for tchll
dren is to be established near Atlanta
as a memorial to Joel Chandler Har
ris. The Juvenile Protective associa
tion Is to bave charge of the institu
tion, which will contain a school, gym
nasium and mechanical workshop.
Near the main buildiug will be several
other buildiugs. the largest of which
will be the capitol, and the whole edu
tipqa J, Pln,k.vv,Hl Jfcno.wn a,s..,the,
"juvenile state." The site, for the in
stitution, 4C0 acres, has been given to
the association, and the money for the
buildings will be raised by subscrip
Nature Studies In Africa. .
- The lion and the unicorn, ' '
- The lyre bird and all
The fauna of the Afrlc wilds
Are waiting for the call
To lure them from the hunting man
And to the timber tall.
The elephant will pack his trunk
Thls is no Joke, although y
' It sounds like one), because. Unless
He packed it. don't you know,
.He couldn't get along at all
' Wherever he might go
The walrus on Sahara's wsstea
Is scratching in the sand
To make a hole to hide himself
From that destructive hand.
-And ducks, with life preservers on.
Are out of sight of land.
The grizzly bear will climb a tree.
As grizzlies always do:
The red deer of the White Nile field
Are looking mighty blue.
And Bengal tigers in their stripes
Have skipped from Timbuktu.
The tall giraffe will duck his nut
And tie his neck in knots;
The leopard will, with due regard
For safety, change his spots.
And a'.! the tapirs will light out
To fire the Hottentots.
The fierce opossum antl the coon f
Through fear will lose their fat;
The drum bird in the forest deep
Will beat a wild rattat.
And vampires, everywhere disturbed.
Will go off o a bat.
The Africanus fauna bunch
Is booked to get Its share
When Roosevelt strikes that cunburnt
, ''And opens up for fair.
And if there be an octopus1
In hiding anywhere -
Between tho cape and pyramids
'Twere better he beware.
W. J. Lampton In New York World.
Striking Indian Nomenclature.
VMuskoka," Clear Sky Land; "Mag
netewan," Smooth Flowing Water;
"Kawartha," Brigth Water and Happy
Lands;, "Temagaml," Deep Water;
"Wawa," the flying goose, are Indian
words that fittingly describe some of
the most -delightful spots for a sum
mer outing on the American conti
nent. All reached at special low round
trip fares via. the Grand -Trunk Rail
way system. Double track from Chi
cago to Montreal and Niagara Falls.
Particulars or fares, descriptive lit
erature. time tables, etc., will be mail
!d free n Plication to George W.
- , : '
i - i i
: Best the World Affords.
1 recommend Bucklen's Arnica SaIve,'(J
I eays J. W. Jenkins, of Chapel Hill, NI
C. - I am convinced it's the best salve
the world affords. It cured a felon on
my thumb, and it never fails to heal
. ' .. . ' 1 .7 . u WU,VU V
Is applied. 25 c at all druggists.
lje flrgus Daily gfrort Story
Saving Jimmied By Lulu Johnson.
.Copyrighted. 1908, by Associated Literary Press.
"Paste ''her on the trademark. Skin
ny," urged the captain of the team.
And Skinny, otherwise "Master-James
Treadgear. being ever mindful "of ad
vice, "pasted" ' the sphere with such
good effect that the ball sailed over
the stone wall at the far end of the
This changed jubilation Ino regret,
for not even three scores brought In
by the home run offset the. fact that
Skinny bad knocked a fifty cent ball
over the wall Into the coionel's garden.
Billy Sniffen, who had beep cajoled
Into lending his new ball to the "big
fellows," some of whom were all of
twelve years of age. let out a roar at;Llcy ,
the sudden disappearance of his prop-! James wuom bave lnjured
Bans that went over the nign stone,
barrier which surrounded the property
of the peppery Colonel Moulton were
regarded as good as lost. None of thej
boys dared brave the wrath of the re
tired officer in search of lost property.
Colonel Moulton would have been re
garded as an ogre by.mediaeval.youtb,
for he stormed and raved at children.
The smaller lads flrlnly believed, that
he liked to ;kill children, and;. when
dusk had fallen they hurried past his
house lest he spring out and seize
them.. . . v ..
' Now, at the disappearance of the
ball, the outfielders followed the base
runners up to the home plate and
joined in the volley of reproach direct
ed toward the unfortunate Skinny.
"You told me to paste her, he re
minded the scowling captain.' ;.
! "I didn't tell you to knock her over
the wall,", was .the scornful: retort.
"Poor Billy's ma'll lick Mm i when he
goes home without that ball,"
i This was an angle from which the
mfortunate William had not hitherto
viewed his loss, and it caused his grief
to double. -
. "You better skip over the fence and
get it," decreed the captain, and the
'- Like a true despot, Jbe cantaln could
not be induced to alter liis command,
and, though be weakened perceptibly
as they drew near tlieatal wall, he af
fected a nonchalance be did not feel.
"1 HAD NOTHING TO tiO' WITH IT,"
' ; CLA.RED THE COLONEL. '
and, bending over, he formed his hands
Jr.to'a stlrrup, in whicK the trembling
Skinny placed his foofe .'
Withv a heave the boy shot up until
his fingers grasped the . wall, : but he
could not hold and 'came tumbling
back, carrying the captain to the
ground with him
"I can't do It,' phiaed Skinny, but
the captain was adaifant. : V-y
"You goner," hi Insisted, ' made
heartless by a skimd elbow. "Get np
there or we'll thro'f you over."
The threat had s due effect Skin
ny clung shlverig to the-top of the
wall for a momnt; then he tumbled
over on the othrr side, and in a mo
ment the air vrm pierced by shrieks of
agony so shrill land terrifying that the
gang fled lntfcntlnently toward the
street with t'e doughty captain well
In the lead.
As they rdached the sidewalk and
turned to nfconnoitef-Sklnny's - sister
Lucy came down the. street and pause.1
to regard thfi boys Inquiringly. '
"Where Is. Jimmie?" she demanded
of the captain. ' .-- ' '
.' The captam hung his head.
; "That's Mm," he confessed, with a
jerk of hlr thumb In the direction of
the spot whence Jimmie's screams still
, "We boasted Jimmie over the wall to
'get a ball he lost and I guess the colo
nels kllng him
! The entrance to the stone encircled
park of the Moulton place was on the
reet and with the gang trail-
her Lucy ran toward the gate
bys were there before her, but
ay that she might approach the
led portal. . Every one of her at
tendf nts admired the courage and de-
terrjlnatlon with which she pressed the
buon of the electric belL
ler finger was still on the porcelain
K'nob when the gate was thrown open
young man, hatless and without
this coat appeared In the aperture. He
started hack as he perceived the excit
"Has any one gone for a doctor?" he
"Is a physlclan'neededr.' asked Xncy
with sinking heart. It was worse than
she had feared. The savage old colonel
must have carried his punishment tot
I in serious Injury
trespass to aji excess that had. resulted
P ome of you boys run for a doctor.
Bharply. " "TheIttle ' fellow ' has a
The entire gang' raced up the street
after the physician, and Lucy was left
alone with the stranger. .
"May I come ln'r" she demanded
coldly. "It is my brother whom you
"You will be most welcome," was
the courteous reply. "My father's
household does not Include any wo
men, and I was somewhat at a loss to
make him comfortable. I am Lieuten
ant Paul Moulton." he added by way
of Introduction. "My father is Colonel
Moulton, and I am visiting him on
T a T71 T.11.V TrnD rl rrno . ' 1
Moulton stepped aside to permit her
to enter, and after closing the gate
he led the way into the "house, where
Jimmie lay on a sofa in the library
with the white haired old soldier lean
ing over him and trying to soothe his
"He seems to be more frightened
than hurt," explained the colonel as he
gave place to Lucy, "and a broken leg
is no joke at that."
"No wonder." was the .indignant re
sponse, "when It Is known that you
have shot at several boys. It is for
tunate that you did no more than
break his leg fortunate for you, I
mean," she added in explanation
"Bless your pretty face. I had uoth"-
ing to do with it," declared the colonel
"As for the shooting; a few blank car
tridges and ray consequent bad reputa
tion have ben the solvation of my
fruit trees. This little fellow will tp'
you himself that neither Paul nor I
was In the garden when he fell and
broke his leg."
Lucy looked Inquiringly at Jimmie,
Who nodded. . . ,
"The boys pushed me up too fast."
he explained. "I went right on over.
And I didn't get the ball." he added In
consequent ially. "and Billy's ma'll lick
him for losing it. and Don Fraser said
he'd lick me If I didn't get it."
"I'll find It," volunteered the lieuten
ant, aud. be slipped out, leaving Lucy
with the colonel.
"My bark is worse than my bite."
explained the old colonel, with red
dening face. I had to do something
to keep the boys from overrunning
my garden, but I did not suppose that
the grownups would take my threats
seriously. I shall have to make Taul
my deputy to clear my reputation."
The arrival of the physician inter
rupted the conversation, and present
ly the colonel himself tenderly carried
the boy to the waiting carriage and
insisted that Taul ride ou the dot
with, the driver In case he might be
It was perhaps only natural that
Paul should call frequently to ask
after the Invalid and that he should
select Lucy as his first proselyte in his
missionary work In behalf of his father.
"Forty years In a garrison would
ruin the temper of any man," he de
clared, "and you cannot very well
blame dad for wanting to be let alone
when he had the chance. He loves
gardening, and the boys were wreck
ing bis grounds. He simply bad to
6care thern off."
He was very effective In his meth
ods," agreed Lucy, "almost too much
so. For a moment I supposed that he
really had broken Jimmie's leg.
"I wish that I could make yon re
alize what a splendid father he Is,'
said Faul, with enthusiasm.
T do not remember my father very
well." said Lucy remlnlscently. He
died lust after Jimmie was born. I
was only eight."
I-et me share mine with you," of
fered Panl generously. "Will you,
From a coign .of vantag," on. the far
bound to force some valuable
employee to do work that can be done
.better quicker cheaper', by the
tiucrja Ad ding Machine .
Whether banker, broker, manufac
turer, wholesaler, retailer, , the useful
ness of the Universal Adding Machine
In your business will more than pay
Its cost right from the 'start.
The Universal has a ' carriage that
permits the printing of regular or lr
tegular columns any distance apart on
the same sheet; has individual cor
rection keys, prints totals . and sub
. totals in red, is easy to operate, is
fully guaranteed. - .
We solicit the opportunity of
1 demonstrating to you on year
work, in -your office at our ex
pense, the proof of ,our claim.
Dtffp us a postal today. . v
Forest H. Montgomery, District Sales
Agent, Suite 1834-1836, Commercial Na-.
tlonal Bank Building, Chicago,' 111.
Universal Adding : Machine company.
; St. Louis. Branch offices in all prin
cipal cities. ;'';''; ' "
i - Hi ll
side' of the street the gang watched
the Iwedding procession emerge from
the. church and set up. a shout as Jim
mie. resplendent In white satin coat
and knlckerbockerB, preceded the happy-couple
as their page.
Jimmie looks like a stick of can
dy," declared the captain contemptu
ously,' "but he's got an all right sis
ter. There ain't many girls that would
marry, a man just "to save their little
brother from a man like Colonel Moul
ton. .'..He was just goln' to kill Jimmie
when she rushed In and raid If he
woukl. spare Jimmie's life she would
marry the lieutenant."
The gang looked with awe upon the
brave bride, and Lucy, radiant In her
new Irapplness, never realized that
they' Were cheering her with such en
thusiasm because she bad sacrificed
herself to fate to save her little
Saved by a 5love Button.'
At one of the Monson slate quarries
a derrick man stood on the brink of
one of the great chasms from which
the slate Tuck is hoisted. His duty
was to catch hold of the big hook de
pending from the end of the boom as
It swung over the bank and attach It
to the crate to be sent back Into the
pit Standing upon the very edge, he
reached out to catch the hook which
dangled near him. It was winter, and
he "wore thick buckskin gloves. The
hook slipped from him ns he leaned
out, but canp-ht Into the fastening of
the glove. The swing of the great
boom took him off his feet in an In
stant and carried hlnvQUt into giddy
space, with his life depewling on the
glove holding fast His whoJe. weight
was hung on that button, anoT there
was a clear 173 feet of space between
him and the floor of the rock below.
The moments that passed before the
boom could be swung back over the
bunk seemed like hours to him. but he
got there at last safe and sound. Lon
don Mail. "
Getting Back at England.
"The English will ridicule us for say
ing 'vury and 'turrible' and 'momma
when we go abroad." said a schoo'-
ma am, "but we will bave our answer
. 'We'll ask them wby, when, they
want to know if we desire a cab, they
"'Fo wella, sar
"We'll ask them why they 6ay paw
tah' and 'waitah' and 'Indiar' and
'And. not forgetting the 4h.' we'll
quote- at them the dialogue between
the mistress and the new maid:
"ls your name Anna or UannahT
- 'Oh. Hannahr
."'No, mum; Hannah.
".'Hannah, you said.
"Hay, hen, hen, hay!" New Orleans
American Money Going Abroad.
It is estimated that over half a billion
of dollars is spent annually by Amen
cans in their .pilgrimages to the old
world. Thus a large part of American
prosperity is shared with the shop
keepers, hotels and transportation com
panies of Europe. It would be impossi
ble to estimate the amount of money
spent annually by those in search of
health; but we do know that when
Hostetter's Stomach, Bitters is used an
immediate improvement can be notic
ed. The sick man or woman regains
strength rapidly, because the Bitters
tones and aids the digestive ' organs
and keeps the bowels from becoming
constipated, thus enabling them to as
similate all the strengthening qualities
of their food. It thus prevents dys
pepsia, indigestion, headache, flatu
lency, "heartburn, insomnia, biliousness,
cramps, diarrhoea and malaria, fever
and ague. Try a bottle and see, for
. Fast , steamer Columbia every Sat
urday at 4 p. m. . W. A. BLAIR, "
Telephone 188. Manager.
how large or how
business, it is
?.' ; '
Humor and Philosophy
By DUNCAN M.' SMITH -.:
When you start out to show a man
the error of his way you would better
begin by taking a course In boxing.
Some, people always seem Just nat
urally suspicious, but that may be
partly your fault
A self made man Is apt to think any
change In his scheme is bound to be
for the worse.
are more popu-i
lar this year!
than w a t e r i
wagons or air-j s
Some fools are !
not as harmless ,
aa thev look.
. i j- . . r -
When an automobile breaks dowiT
three miles away from a repair shop.'
the children in the rear seats should.
close their ears until the first part of
the storm rolls by. . I
Beiifg a hero oughtn't to stand In the
way of a man's success, but it often
An obstacle often proves merely aa
No -man is really Indifferent to his
own interest and he who seems so It
will pay toatch. .
V '-'' ' ' ' .
Some young ipen who try to live
down their, salary succeed only, too
well. i -.
To an Impulsive raan It Is a, lot
easier to fight for bis'-friends than it is
to get his friends to fight for him. , i
Your fifty pound tiPkJ: doesn't cut
much ice with the icemanhese days.
x Relief For a Suffereft .'
As soon as the first airship is per
fected a relief expedition should be at
once sent to the man in the moon."
"To bring him away?"
"No; to send him. a consignment of
crackers to match his large supply of
cheese." .. . ."
"How the little children enter into
the spirit of Arbor dayT
"Why shouldn't they? They know
that the trees they plant will not grow
switches until they are grown up and -out
of the way of danger."
Time enough to set excited '
Later In the year.
Let the campaign go to Guinea
Till tho end is near.
Calm yourself; be even tempered
For a month or two.
For it is. no odds who's winner.
All the same to you.
If a candidate Is running.
Why not let him run?
Exercise may be hia hobby;
He may call it fun.
Do not go to his assistance
Though for help he cries.
Bit around, enjoying summer.
If you would be wise.
Nothing In It when the climate
Fits a p.tim leaf fan
Pulling chestnuts from the griddle
For another man. -Tou
have not. my masters, any
He'll recall you If elected
He should chance to beu.
Somewhat later In the season
Tou might take a peep
At the candidates in waiting.
For the list will keep.
For the present let the other
Worry o'er the scrap.
Get worked up and all excited
While you take a nap.
"It is a shame that a big. husky man
like him lets his wife support him." '
"Is there no way to punish him?"
"I don't know. Congress might make
him a duke, and then it would look
"They are forever bragging of their
'Must be one of the kind that does
not speak for itself.
- r , .
'Congress should make that deep
"What for to catch the floating
Last of Race.
There was an honest ststesman
In some far distant city.
He has been dead a hundred years.
'Now. Isn't that a pity I -
"You look all
worn out, man.
Y o o shouldn't
eiert yourself so
In hot weatherT
What in tha
world have you
, been doing?"
'5 mn fm.
'jfty Ing to take hot
A ' W
"He announces the arrival "and de
parture of trains at the union station,
la that a trade or a nrofession?"
"Neither; it is a calling." .
' Good Idea. ,' ; ;
"1 have a ..very active mind."
"Why don't you train It to de ioom
stunts then?" ; -. . . ', .- -