Newspaper Page Text
THE rAKGTTS, TUESDAY. AUGUST 10, 1000.
- THE ARGUS.
rubllphcd Daily and Weekly at 1624
Second avenue. Rock Island, III. En
tered at the postofflce aa second-class
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Daily, 10 cents per week.
"Weekly, SI per year In advance.
All communications of argumentative
eharacter, politieal or religious, must
; have real name attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
vrer nciiuuua Diguaiurea,
o Correspondence solicited from eyory
. township inRock Island county.
Tuesday, Aug. 10, 1909.
, Iowa would rather have a Cummins
and Doll iver than a whole congress of
Cullonis and Cannons.
I'Mr. Taft, will, know what an ulti
mata, 'consumer is - when he. orders a
new suit for a. 300 pound man.
"Have you decided to assist Monsieur
N. Lafayetie-Savay with his American
Civic Alliance (Inc.), 'whatever that
If we set prosperity this year it will
be due to the product of the soil, nut
the products of the brains of Aldrich
"und Payne. y
It seems to be an off season when
no effort is being made to show that
somebody lias been the victim of foul
play at the Annapolis naval academy.
As soon as he can find time to do
so Hon. Theodore Roosevelt will
squelch the report that he may be
induced to run for mayor of Nev
-. Congress has purchased a $tJ,0)0
automobile each . for Vice President
r. Sherman and Speaker Cannon. The
appropriation was appropriately a
- i The tact that Senator Cummins
fighting the new taric bill is hailed
as a hero, does not show that the peo
ple are over delighted about what his
happened at Washington recently.
Senator Jeff Davis, while defending
a client in an Arkansas court the
other day, narrowly escaped being
shot. We had an idea that Jeff had
heen elected to serve "the peepul" at
A Pike county man last week uiad?
a large distribution of real estate to
his children. He requires them to pay
him a small interest while he lives, and
at his death they own the land. This
is much better Ahan waiting until one
Is dead and then having the children
go iuto court and try to prove their
father was an old idiot and had not
sense enough to make a will.
' Taft's itinerary of his western trip
will cover a matter of 13,000 miles.
Taft is certainly one of the most trav
eled travelers now living on the face
xtt the globe. In the early part of this
century there was a certain evangelist
called Lorenzo Dow. He traveled about
the time the railroads were introduc
ed and made a remarkable reputation
as a traveler, but Taft will travel per
haps more in this one trip than Loren
zo Dow traveled in all his life.
... The various towns in Illinois are
making great improvements. A great
number of them are paving their streets
and reaching out into the country for
the influence and support of the farm
ers for good roads. The farmers are
rapidly beginning to realize the Im
portance of being able to get to mar
ket at ail times of, the year, and they
are meeting the town people half way
in securing, good roads. This mutual
feeling is rapidly developing the state,
and the time is not far distant when
mud embargoes will be unknown.
IHei-iof IHvn Account of His Won
Following is Bleriot's own account
of his remarkable feat in flying across
he English channel: "I rose at 2:30
this (Sunday) morning, and, finding
that the conditions were favorable,
ordered the torpedo boat destroyer
Escopette. which had been placed at
my disposal by the "French govern
ment, to start. Then I went to the
garage at "Sangatte and found that the
. motor worked welL At 4 a. m I font
my seat in the aeroplane and made a
trial flight around Calais of some 15
kilometers (over nine miles), descend
ing at the spot chosen for" the start
across the' channel. - . '
" "Here I waited for the sun to come
out, the condition of the Daily Mail
o COMING TO 3
prize requiring that I fly between sun-,
rise and sunset. At 4:30 daylight had
come, but it was Impossible to see the
coast. A light breeze from the south
west was blowing the air clear, how- J
ever, and everything was prepared. I
was dressed In a Khaki jacket, lined
with wool for warmth, over my tweed
clothes and beneath my engineer's
suit of blu cotton overalls. A close-
fitting cap was fastened over my head
and ears. I had neither eaten nor
drank anything since I arose. My
thoughts were only upon the flight aud
my determination to accomplish it this
morning. - .
"At 4:35 'All's ready.' My friend,
Le Blanco, gives the signal, and in an
instant I am in the air, my engine
making 12,000 revolutions, almost its
highest speed, in order that I may get
quickly over the telegraph! wires along
the edge of the cliff. As soon as I am
over the cliff I reduce speed. There
is now no need to force the engine. I
begin my flight, steady and sure, to
ward the coast of England. I have no
apprehension, no sensation not at all.
' "The Escopettehas seen me. It is
driving ahead at full speed. It makes
perhaps 42 kilometers (20 miles) an
hour. What matters it? I am making
at least GS kilometers (over 42 miles).
Rapidly I overtake it, traveling at a
height of SO meters (200 feet). Below
me is the surface of the sea, disturbed
by the wind, which is now freshening.
The motion of the waves beneath me
is not pleasant. I drive on. Ten min
utes are gone. I have passed the de
stroyer, and I turn my head to see
whether I am proceeding in the right
directibn. I am amazed. There is
nothing to be seen neither the tor
pedo boat destroyer, nor France, nor
England. I am alone; I can see noth
ing at all.
Vor 10 minutes I am lost. It is a
strange position to be in alone, guid
ed without a compass, in the air over
the middle of the channel. I touch
nothing: my hands and feet rest light
ly on the levers. I let the aeroplane
take its own course. I care not whith
er it goes. For 10 minutes I continue,
neither rising, nor falling, nor turning,
and then, 20 minutes after I have left
the French coast, I see green cliffs and
Dover castle, and away to the west the
spot where I' had intended to land.
What can I do? It is evident the wind
has taken nie out of my course. I am
almost at St. Marget bay, going in the
direction of Goodwin sands.
"Now it is time to attend to the
steering. I press a lerer with my foot
and turn easily toward the west, re
versing the direction in which I am
traveling. Now I am in difficulties,
for the wind here by the cliffs is much
stronger and my speed is reduced as
I fight against it; yet my beautiful
aeroplane responds still steadily. I fly
westward, chopping across the harbor,
and reach Shakespeare cliff. I see an
opening m the cliff- Aitnougn 1 am
confident I can continue for an hour
and a half, that I might, indeed, re
turn to Calais, I cannot resist the op
portunity to make a landing upon this
"Once more I turn my aeroplane,
and, describing a half circle, I enter
the opening and find myself again over
dry land. Avoiding the red buildings
on my right, I attempt a landing, but
the wind catches me aud whirls me
around two or three times. Al once I
stop my motor, and instantly my ma
chine falls straight upon the ground
from a height of 20 meters (75 feet).
In two or three seconds I am safe upon
"Soldiers in khaki ran up, and po
licemen. Two of my compatriots are
on the spot. They kiss my cheeks.
The conclusion of my flight over
whelms me. Thus ended my flight
across the channel a flight which
could easily be done again. Shall I do
it? I think not. I have promised my
wife that after a race for which I have
already entered I will fly no more."
Cooke the Right Man.
Quincy Journal: If you are a voter.
you need this information:
The people of this judicial district
have to elect a supreme court judge
for this judicial district. Every good
citizen of the district is -interested in
seeing a good man elected to that im
To be a good judge a man must first
be a good man. We don't believe that
a bad man can make a good judge.
We don't believe that a bad man would
make a good clergyman. A bad man
may be able, but he is not fit for a
judge or for a clergyman.
A judge is a mere man a man like
you and I. When elected judge, he
carries his character and his biases
with him. Of this there is no doubt.
If a man is a democrat as a private
citizen, and you elect him to the bench
you do not change his politics. We
don't change any man's politics by
electing him to the bench not a bit
more than we change his character oi
We ask our readers, regardless ot
party, if it is a good thing to have al
democrats elected to the supreme
court. of the state?. To ask the;ques
tion is to answer it. The great major
ity of our readers would not consldei
this advisable. Nor is it advisable to
elect all republicans to the supreme
bench. It is better to have that body
politically divided; and we are more
likely to get even-handed justice when
the court is thus divided for politics
goes into court decisions, as we plain
ly see when we look at, the decisions
of the highest court in the land, the
supreme court of the United States.
We all know that politics has its in
fluence in that great court; and be
cause this is so a republican president
appoints a republican as a member of
the court, and a democratic president
appoints a democrat as a member of
We believe tiiat our people; as a
rule,' think that' the supreme court 'of
our rtate should not be made up of
all democrats or of all republicans, but
that it is better for all concerned that
the politics of the judges should be
At the present time, we believe that
there is just one democrat on the su
preme bench of the state. We believe
that the democrats are, in all fairness,
entitled to another member of that
George Cooke, who was nominated
Thursday for a position on the su
preme bench, is a most excellent man,
as clean as a hound's tooth, in every
way . He is a bright, wholesome, com
panionable fellow; a good man and an
able lawyer. If elected to the su
preme bench, he will make a most
valuable member of that body. He
will serve the people with perfect
fidelity aud rare ability. We believe
that it is the best for all concerned
that Mr. Cooke should be elected to
that body. His election, as we under
stand it, will give the democrats two
members of the seven members of ths
Day before yesterday we received
a letter from one of the best known
and most highly respected citizens of
this state. It reads as follows:
"I have just read your editorial in
The Argus on George A. Cooke. To
s-ay that I am mightily pleased with
your position, but feebly expresses my
feelings. I am greatly interested in
George A. Cooke. Not that I have anv
special interest in the court, for I
have no business there: nor is it for
political reasons. But I have learned
to know Mr. Cooke intimately. I have
had an opportunity to learn his ability,
to measure his judgment and to b
come acquainted with his spirit f
fairness and his integrity. I respect
his attainments and admire his ster
ling manhood. Mr. Cooke's election
would put upon the supreme bench a
lawyer who would be a credit to tho
court, and an honor to your district
and to our state.
All citizens, regardless of party.
and whether they have business with
the court or not. have a deep interest
in maintaining this court of last re
sort, at the highest state of efficiency
and of integrity. There has been
much talk about non-partisanship of
our judiciary. There are many rea
sons. I have heard lawyers sav. whv
the members of this court should not
all be ofthe same party. Many news
papers have, time and again, taken
this'' same position. At present, a!'
the members of the court, except one,
belong to the same party; and. .is
numbers go. this is dangerously neir
what the newspapers, the lawyers, and
the members of the court themselves
have declared to be 'an undesirable
The election, of Mr. Cooke by yom
district would be in accord1 with th
public sentiment, so frequently ex
pressed, and I am heartily glad tp see
you take the position you have, for 1
know that you will be a power for
?ood in" your district.''
All that we can add to this is tint
we have seen quite a good deal of Mr.
Cooke during the last two or, thro
years at committee meetings of th-
state central committee, of which h
is secretary, and at political meetings,
and everything that we have seen of
him has been to his credit. He is a
plain, simple, unaffected fellow, a
man of most engaging qualities. He
is the kind of man that makes friends
easily and holds them long. He is a
Sue sample of the American man.
Taft and the Tariff.
President Taft both defends and
apologizes for the new tariff bill. Ik
admits that it is not downward revis
ion to the extent that people hoped
and voted for, but declares that it is
is good as could be expected under
"xisting circumstances. He virtually
idmits that certain interests are all
powerful, and that to successfully as
ail them in ths citadel is impossible.
Me signs the bill cheerfully, however,
in the belief that the bill will demon
strate itself to be downward revision
and that the general consumer will be
found to have benefited in the matter
of securing the necessities. He holds
that the advances are really in rela
tion to the luxuries and can be easily
The corporation tax he approves as
i means toward securing publicity.
md a - better regulation of the busi
iess combinations of the country.
Seared With a Hot Iron.
r scalded by overturned kettle cut
vith a knife bruised by slammed
Joor injured by gun or in any other
vay the thing needed at once is
Jucklen's Arnica Salve to subdue in
lamination and kill the pain. Hi
arth's supreme healer, infallible foi
oils, ulcers, fever sores, eczema and
iles. 25c at all druggists.
There is an
CELEBRATED fTgif tuc yioo.em
,V STOMACH Uior netmn and
"J I TT" " thousands have
91 I I IOp' oven it by
the use of the
Bitters. Try a
bottle today for
Cramps and .
If' - I X '
f vy v
iiinT iimimiii iJtiiiAifi in.'iniiiiim JliL-iwiiiiir' . ' III. ijS I iwum '
The Argus Daily Short Story
Locating Evelyn. By Finnic M edbury Pendleton.
Copyrighted, 1909, by Associated Literary Press.
John I'.euiH'tt looIu-U at his wat-.b
aud yawned wearily. It was ivi
hours before the eastbound train would
leave Chicago. With an expression if
boredom he strolled lei-mcl.v up the
street, his eyes straying listlessly from
side to side. He li.nl the siir of a man
whom life has ceased to interest.
The huivying crowds met ami passed
him. A pretty, fnir haired girl brushed
by. and lie sJaiiced .-.tvlicr with the
quickening of sudden interest. Hi. mi his
face settled into its former expression.
Every light Irtircd woman he had
met for -the past 'two months b:id
uaiued 1'roni iiiiii ili.1t quick look. It
had become a habit with the man,
but he Iotked in vain for the face of
They had met in Denver the latter
part of the winter and had become en
gaged. She was traveling with her
mother ar.d father. !The latter was in
the last staires of an illness.,
, Finding no relief in the western cli
mate, Mr. Chester had suddenly de
cided to return east by easy staves.
They had impermanent home, and Eve
lyn, in view of this, bad promise! to
write as soon as she had arrived in
Weeks slipped by. then mouths, and
still no word from Evelyn. Uennctt
had at last started east in the hope'
of getting some trace of the t'heslers.5.
The thought of livelyn ami her tHi
aecountahie silence was so constantly
in his niiiiil that the sight -of every
fair haired :irl stirred bis heart with
a forlorn hope.
On his way up the street be hud
reached one of the moving picture the
ttoriuins,' atnl. thinking that he might
:ts well kill' time In one way as an
other, he entered.
The erforinance had begun and v
listened half hearteilly to the lllus
t rated song, his thoughts still on the
vanished Evelyn. Had she repented
of her promise to him? He could not
believe that. Had she been swallowed
up by some dreadful trouble? He must
Bennett raised his eyes to the can
vas. The song hail ended and a pano
ramic view of the Massachusetts coast
SHK SrKANrt TO HEK I't'ET WITH A lilTTIiK
followed. He watched the irregular
shore line, the boats, the quaint vil
lages and towns, the children eujoy
log theirv summer playground by the
sea. " Then there flashed to view a bit
of beach. Two girls sat by an old boat
that was half buried iu the sand
Tlieir fiei" were turned toward him;
there upon the canvas, her wistfail
eves gazing straight into his own, was
the lost Evelvu. ' "
He sprang to his feet, then as bur-
nedly reseated himself, lhe view uua
passed, and he doubled the evidence of
his eyes. Had he rearhed the point
where every pretty face looked l:!;e
the girl? He pulled himself together
lie would see I lie view again.
There was no mistake this time.
The girl was Evelyn Chester beyond
a doubt. Agiiiu he allowed the pic
ture to pass without noticing the face
of her companion. Once more he
waited through the interim.
When the view flashed out he was
rewarded, for xl he features .f the other
girl were iln-iilcdly familiar. The face
was not as clear as Evelyn's, but it
was certainly a picture of Claude Ayl
incr's sister. Eileen, and the Ay! titers
lived hi New Yerk. He had not seen
Eileen for two years, but (he clew was
worth following up. Bennett left the
place with hope in his heart.
He made some inquiries of the inaiv
ager of the theater, but the man could
tell 1 1 i i 1 1 or.t.v that the reel was one
sent to the regular circuit and that
the pictures had probably bceu taken
Two days later found Bennett iu
New York. He would hunt up Eileen
Aylmer. and if she were not the girl
in the p'cture he would seek through
every town on the Massachusetts
coast for news of Evelyn.
The Aylniers were occupying thei
cottage on the Hudson, and Bennett
took the first traiu for their home.
Their cottage lay on the outskirts of
the village, and a few minutes of brisk
walking brought Bennett in sight of
It. As he mounted the steps of the
l)io;;d piazza Claude Aylmer pounced
upon him. Vj
"Why, Bennett, old man," he cried,
'"how good of you! 1 thought fou
were iu the wild and woolly west."
Bennett shook bands.
"I don't want you. Aylmer," he
cried. "I want your sisler."'
"Creat snakes, man." he exclaimed,
"don't try any Lochiuvar stunt oti the t
banks of the historic Hudsou! Be
sides. Eileen's engaged."
There was an amused laugh from a
tall girl iu white, who rose from a
hammock and came forward with
hand cordially outstretched. Bennett
regarded her with silent anxiety, then
his face brightened. She was surely
the girl of Hie picture.
"What nonsense, Claude," she cried.
"Mr. Bennett isn't dangerous at least,
he wasu't formerly. He- wouldn't
carry off a bride to be from the midst
of hei' astonished relatives."
"Miss Aylmer." ; cried Benuelt, "do
you know Evelyu Chester? Tor
heaven's sake tell me."
Eileen laughed. "Know my college
chum!." she exclaimed. . . "Know the
girl who is to be my bridesmaid Iu two
weeks: Well, rather."
"Whore is she uow?"
"She and her mother are spending
the summer iu a little village on the
Massachusetts coast. They went there
to be quiet after her father's death. I
fpeut a week with tbem two months
ago. Why. Mr. Bennett, what in the
world is the matter?"
Jack Bennett had sunk down upou a
chair, his face very white, and had cov
ered his eyes with his hand.
Then the story came out. and Eileeu
was greatly interested.
"Isn't it romantic'" she cried. "Eve
lyn has been so unlike herself all sum
mershe is usually the brightest, most
cheerful girl in the . world but of
course 1 laid the chauge to her father's
death. She cried when I asked her to
be my bridesmaid. It is all some un
fortunate mistake. Well, it will soon
be set right. She won't fly away be
it was late' afternoon of the follow
ing day when Bennett walked down
the strip of beach that he had first
seeu pictured on the canvas in Chi
cago. He had found Evelyn's mother,
who had bidden him seek the girl in
, her favorite haunt on the beach. As
1 ,le auvauceu it seemeu to unu - mat
every, object was fixed forever upon
Some distance ahed he caught the
gleam of - n woman's) white gown. It
was Evelyn. She w.Hs seated by the
old boat, gazing out' to sea with a
world of wistful sadness iu her eyes.
She did not hear him uutil he spoke.
She spraug to her feet with a little
sobbing cry. (
Three days lajer. In the midst of
their woiidermeut as to what bad be
come of the letter that Evelyu had
writteu and that Jack had never re
ceived, the following ote arrived, and
with it the lost let!.'!':
"Mr." Johu Bennett." it ran. "Dear
Sir Pardon the unintentional delay of
your mail. 1 am John I. Bennett; you
are Johu J. Bennett. By mistake your
letter was held for me six weeks in
Denver. Very truly yours. J. I. B."
"So I should have found you after
all," said Jack thoughtfully.
"Yes," answered Evelyn, "but it
would have been three days later, and
the days have been so long."
Jack drew her head against his shoul
der aud looked down iuto her eyes.
"Dear." he said tenderly. "I wish 1
could shake bauds with the man who
saw in you a good subject for a mov
An Andean Notion About Soroche.
On one occasion, crossing the Tacora
pass, abreast of Tacua. I'eru. i was
severely attacked by mouutaiu sick
ness at an elevatiou of ouly about
7.000 feet above sea level. It com
pletely prostrated me, but my Indian
arriero told me that "the spot was
famous for soroche," the uame by
which mountain sickness is known to
all the Aymara and Quichua eople of
the Audeau range, "aud that if 1
would continue my journey up the Cor
dillera it would leave me."
The following morning I was lifted
into my saddle and coutiuued the as
cent of the pass, aud within two hours
was nearly well again, and before I
reached the summit of the pass, about
13,750 feet altitude, the soroche had
entirely left me.
The Indiaus among the Andes have
frequently told me that "soroche is not
the effect of altitude, but." as they put
it. "of mineral veins." It may be that
the geological and atmospheric- condi
tions of certain localities are to some
extent the cause of it, iu additiou to
altitude, the former beiug perhaps the
principal factors, although imperfect
digestion aud constipation invite it.
During a long ride in southern Bo
livia, at an elevation of from 13.0U0
to 14.000 feet. I noticed that before
leaving the post bouses the Iudiaus
rubbed garlic on the nose and breast
of my mule. They told me that this
was "to prevent the soroche." London
Bee and Wasp Stings.
The sting of a bee is often more
virulent than that of a wasp aud
with some people attended with very
violent effects. The sting of a bee
is , barbed at the. cnd and conse
quently always left iu the wound;
that of a wasp is pointed only, so that
it can sting more than once, which
a bee cauuot do When any person is
stung by a bee. let the sting, in the
first place, be instautly pulled out. for
the longer it remaius in the wouud
the deejier it will pierce, owing to its
peculiar form, and emit more of the
poison. The sting is hollow, and the
poison flows through it, which is the
sole cause of the iaui aud inflamma
tion. If your liver is sluggish aud out
of tone, and you feel dull, bilious,
constipated, take a dose of Chamber
lain's Stomach and Liver Tablets to
night before retiring and you will
feel all right in the morning. Sold
by all druggists.
In buying a cough medicine, don't
lie afraid to get Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy. There is no danger from it,
and relief is sure to follow. Especial
ly recommended for coughs, colds and
whooping cough. Sold by all drug
No child can be well and strong
unless . its bowels move regularly
every day at the same hour. Such
regularity promotes good health. On
passage is absolutely necessary, while
two are not too manv.
There is one remedy that is especially
adapted to the needs of children, and
which thousands of American mothers are
using today, and that is Dr. Caldwell's
ssyrup repsin, the great herb laxative
compound. Its gentle acUon, so free from
griping, its tonic effects, and its perfect
purity, vouched for to the United Statea
Government, makes it an ideal children's
Mrs. M. F. Cash,. of Webb, Okla., is an
Old-time friend Of thin nnnHarfnl MiilfTn
remedy and she says she could scarcely
uuuse -wunoui it. She became ac
quainted with it through Dr. Caldwell's
oner or a free trial bottle, which shs
round so effective on her baby that she
now always keeps it in the house. Mrs.
K. L. StOUt. Of LiOUlnvillA K"v nlsn first
Uld ' j ln a free sanple. then bought It
net uiusgwi ai me regular price, which
13 only SO cents op xi o Knttio t
her little girl a splendid appetite' and a
vigorous stomach. Where Dr. Caldwell's
oyrup repsin once finds its way into the
home it makes a life-long friend. They
soon discard salts, pM8 and powders.
Those who hi)v i
Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin should begin to
f f?r les!, are missing a valuable
5o.iil In order t0 acquaint
Tf'l'it li.,r?CeiPt of name n address.
i 22' .dysPePsia. heartburn, liver trouble,
d&uSSSeJS1' 8tomach and similar
If there is anything about
your ailment that you don't
unaerstand, or If you want
any medical advice, write
to the doctor, and ho will '
answer you fully. There Is
no charge for this service.
The address is Dr. W. B.
Caldwell, 5 Caldwell bldg.,
Y Philosophy 2j
A 9y VVMCAJV ft. SMITH . X
CONNECTING WITH THE JAR,
"N pleasant flights o(. fancy
At times aloft we soar. . .
Way yonder in the cloudland
Above the human roar,
. High in the mellow azure,
All peaceful and serene, ' :
Then drop In haste because we'v i
- Run out of gasoline.
It seems, such pleasant sailing
As. peaceful and at ease.
We rest where clouds are lightest
Or flutter on the breeze,'" "
And just when things are coming
Exactly to our taste -The
steering gear gets cranky, :
And it's lo earth In haste. .
We go Into a" project' t
With quite the best intent, ,' r
Assured it's worth a million ' '
If it is worth a cent, - -And
just when we are ready
To bring it all about
We reach to get the fortune, -
And then our pipe goes ont.
This is a world of dreaming. .
Of schemes that look like cash.
Of plans that seem so rosy
Until they go to smash. -Of
voyages projected ' '.r
That on the rocks are wrecked. -In
legions run our fancies.
But few ot them connect.
'Can you define an island?" .
"Sure. A body of land surrounded
"What is it then?"
"A body of laud surrounded by
Such a Shock.
"How is bis mine coming?"
"Well, he has made a great discov
ery." "What is it. gold?"
"No, that the shark who sold it to
him was not a philanthropist."
"For three. months I was alone on a
desert island.". .
"And monarch or all you surveyed."
"I might -have, been, but I didn't
happen to nave a set of surveying in-
"No. Mr. Jenks. 1 can't marry you.n
"But I thought";
"I know. " 1 know. But I can only
be a sister to you."
'Couldn't you make it an aunt?
'Democracy is a great leveler of th
"Is it?" " - .
"Indeed. It is."
"So is a bunaua peel." . -
Couldn't Forget,-'. ,
"How do you sjiell Oshkosn?'
"Have you forgotten?"
"Then why do you ask?". ,
"I never knew."
An Undertaking Indeed.
Mrs. M Mr. McBride is looking as
solemn as an undertaker' these days.
Mr. M Just so. He's going to un
dertake to support a wife, begin uiug
next week. - -
Bang What do you do when you get
iuto a place where you cau ueitber go
abend uor back out?"
Waug-I simply sit still aud wear the
Where He Fell Down.
"Do you consider Brown a man of
"He would be if he didn't rely so
much upon his own judgment."
Know His Class.
"My good man,"
said the profess
or. "Don't my good
ic a u m e." re
plied the pugil
ist. Do you want
to ruin my repu
The mosquito appears to take "it for
granted that itis the opeu season the
summer through. - ",. ' '
If we could get some of our friends
to take something 'for the babit of
knowing all about it, life' might be.
more endurable. ... . ; .
A bilious individual should always
be glad to be handed a lemon.
A beautiful lie Is one that looks like
the ugly truth.
The trouble with so many bad bab-
its Is that they are with . us yet after
w have bM brokeu of tuem'
Thera re men who don't pay their
debts from humanitarian motives.
They hate to spring surprises. '
The devil always feels pretty conn-
dent that deceitful people are coming
his way all right. .
The world may owe 'ail of us a-llT-
' Ing. but : It "will repudiate the debt
every chauce: It gets.