Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCE ISLAND ARGUS, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 1900.
Published Daily and Weekly at 1624
Second avenue. Rock Island. IlL En
tered at the postofflce as second-class
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
j TERMS. Dally. 10 certs per week.
. i Weekly, Jl per year In advance.
All communications of argumentative
' 4 character, political or religious, roust
,rtiav real name attached for publlca
f'tlon. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Vp; Qorrespondence solicited from every
luwimuip in xiock isiana counxy.
Tuesday, November 30, 1909.
f Do your Christmas shopping early.
; Boost for Rock Island on every legl-
vVtlmate project that makes for its prog
ress ana betterment.
, Speaker Cannon is growing defiant
toward the press. To be opposed by
Joe Cannon is quite an enviable com
pliment these days.
There is getting to be quite a con
test between the automobiles, football
and the railroads as to which can kill
the most during a year.
i ..A What has become of that spectacu
i il&T committee which was going to re-s-
ideem the lands which had been stolen
:9l ' along the edge of Lake Michigan and
I jother places. Has the appropriation
'or the committee run out?
i If llmburger cheese will cure can-
;cer, as it is now alleged, perhaps .t
; might be well to try it on the Sixth
-j- 'district and see what effect it wou'd
, jhave In introducing a decent era of
politics. Of course, it would be hard
' . .on the limburger.
; -"Only a few more weeks and the
7 year 109 will be numbered with the
years before the flood. Close the year
hopefully and begin the year 1910 with
J: 'a song in your heart and a girding up
V of loins for greater things than you
have ever done before.
5 During the long winter months it
jwill be a good idea for any man who
has anything to buy, to read up on the
'tariff. Iong before spring he will get
Jnto his head the outrageous robbery
of . the people, and then he will be
ready to heln the democrats to turn
the rascals out.
The promise by President Taft to
appoint to the United States supreme
- bench, to succeed the late Justice
Feckham, Horace II. Lurton of Ten
nessee, a democrat, is in line with the
. arguments advanced by The Argus for
the election of Hon. George A. Cooke
-to succeed the late Justice Guy C.
Scott on the Illinois supreme bench.
President Taft, who himself has long
served on the bench, appreciates the
; evils that might result if the courts
j were of one political complexion.
' . Accidents Will Happen.
It is said that Illinois has the best
mining laws of any state. And yet
, accidents are constantly happening.
Aside from the terrible accident at
, Cherry, the number killed in the mines
. during the past year foots up a hor
. rible total. In many cases it is hard to
fix the blame. Admitting the selfish
ness of the mine operator that same
selfishness prompts him to try and
javold accidents. Admitting the risk
jln the work, that same risk prompts
.the miner to be careful.
', There must be Llame somewhere,
lit is a matter for careful legislative
'investigation and the enactment of
I new laws, if necessary, to still farther
protect both life and property.
The value of the coal Industry can-
not be estimated in dollars and cents
and it must be conserved in the best
way for its further advancement and
for the protection of all those engaged
The Citizen and Politics.
In a recent address Seth Low of
New York declared that if every citi
zen did his duty and manifested rea
sonable interest in politics there
would be less of incompetence and
corrupt practices in our cities. Discus
sing the abstinence of the average citi
zen from political matters, the Lowed,
Mass., Courier-Union says:
"One reason, and perhaps the only
reason, why politics gets Into so un
satisfactory a state, is the fact that to
most men it is so often a thing en
tirely apart from their own lives and
; activities. It is turned over to the
few men who will give time to it, and
who frequently derive all their liveli
hood from it. The ordinary man, who
, 13 still necessary to the scheme, !a
generally content with voting two or
three times in a year at stated inter
vals and that is about all he ever has
-to do with politics. He doesn't like
the way things go, as a rule; but Ie
persists, just the same. In letting the
- business be run by a petty oligarchy.
- lie himself takes no real part in poli
tics at all, and only plays the game
; According as the party management
frames it up for him. Occasionally,
,'when the deal framed up for him ?s
"too raw to bo endured, he kicks over
the traces and votes for the other fel
'l low's game thinking thereby to 're
. !buke' his own party machine. But to
jhink of getting at the evil directly
,'by cleansing the source of It seldom
- j occurs to him. One must do these
jthlngs by indirection! If a party mi
j chine does not run things talerably
j well, 'rebuke it and maybe next
time it will have sense enough not to
1 go quite so far! Why not get at the
iroot of it?
"Now the question we raise Is this:
Is It not an Important function of the
ordinary citizen to interest himself in
politics really In politics, we mean,
and not merely In voting obediently or
otherwise at elections? Why is it
not? Nobody can expect much of poll
tics as long as politics remains the
chief concern of a few men who prac
tically make it a business adjunct,
while the great majority of their fel
lows have no finger in the pie and
affect to regard it all as a bother. The
citizen cannot dodge or shift this func
tion, any more than he can escape any
other incident of his citizenship; and
If he neglects to perform this part of
his duty, he is simply hurting himself
by letting somebody else use him as a
pawn. One may abdicate his right to
exercise any voice in the matter, but
one cannot by so doing avoid the fact
that the matter still affects him. That,
however, is Just what most men do
not see. They seem to feel that poli
tics is a separate profession for the
coterie of men interested in it, just as
law, or medicine is. And they do not
wake up to the fact that in reality it
is a profession in which every man 'n
a community has an equal stake, to
which he has to pay. Most of
us are content to do our own
business, let somebody else who 'has
more time' take out the public busi
ness for us, and then pay the tills
with a grimace. All of which Is a
very poor idea of American citizenship."
Save the Birds.
The Texas Audubon society has Just
issued an appeal to tho people of that
state to insist upon effective enforce
ment of the laws for the protection of
the birds and wild animals, asserting
that at the present rate of destruction,
unless something effective Is done
within five years, there will be no
birds or wild animals left to protect.
The address emphasizes the necessity
I'of enforcing existing laws rather than
of passing more laws. The occasion
for this address seems to be the rapid
increase of immigrants who are dis
posed to kill every bird that files,
either through ignorance of the law
or disregard of its penalties.
This warning is a timely one, and
is In line with the experience of Penn
sylvania and other states In their at
tempts to protect the birds and game.
Fortunately in Pennsylvania the law
against the indiscriminate slaughter of
song birds is usually enforced. The
pot hunter with hi3 gun is quite as
prone In Illinois to killing robins and
flickers as in Texas, but our game
wardens have made this a very costly
form of law breaking by rigorous in
fliction of fines. The man who has
paid a fine for slaughtering a robin is
not likely to do it again. The result
has been a perceptible increase of song
birds, robins, thrushes and other song
birds of our own section.
Indiscriminate bird slaughter can be
halted in any commonwealth whenever
public sentiment demands it.
Game laws will not enforce them
selves anywhere, but game wardens
that make it costly to shoot the birds
can put an end to their slaughter In a
very brief period.
EMPTY STOCKING CLUB.
Institution Whose Object Is to Please
f.tcny Youngsters This Christmas.
Mrs. James A. Richardson of Balti
more is founder and president of the
Empty Stocking club, which will bring
joy to many childish hearts this Christ
mas. The object of the club is to fill
stockings that otherwise would be in
danger of remaining empty on Christ
mas morning, at least until the littl
feet of their owners were slipped into
them, and what child wants to fill hli
stockings with feet on the day Santa
Claus Is due to come around to fill
them with oranges and toys? Subsid
iary to the club membership proper is
an auxiliary branch composed princi
pally of children of the adult members,
and they are entering with zest into
the plans for the benefit of their less
fortunate brothers and sisters.
To the girls of the auxiliary has been
Intrusted the task of dressing the 2,000
and odd dolls that have been purchas
ed by their elders, and this work is
keeping hundreds of litt'e fiDgers busy,
while the boys are getting Tip amateur
circuses and other "stunts," the pro
ceeds of which are to go to swell the
fund for the giant Christmas tree.
DE ARMOND'S CAREER.
toted Missouri Congressman Who Re
cently Died a Hero's Death.
Representative David Albaugh De
Armond of the Sixth Missouri district,
who recently died the death of a hero
in a vain effort to save the life of his
little grandson la a fire caused by cross
ed wires that destroyed his home In
Butler, Mo., was one of the best known
men In congress, not only because of
his long service, but because of his
character and talents. His death takes
from the Democratic side its best sea
soned veteran In acknowledged leader
ship. Only four men bad served long
er continuously than De Armond, and
all of them are Republicans Cannon,
Bingham, Payne and Dalzell. On the
Democratic 'side there were none of
longer service than De Armond and
only two Livingston of Georgia and
Jones of Virginia who served aa long.
De Armond was probably the fore
most parliamentarian on the Demo
cratic side of the chamber. The fact
that the Democratic floor leadership
never went to him was accounted for
by the fact that, despite bis signal abil
ity and long service, he had an ex
ceedingly caustic tongue and spared
nobody when be laid about him to
chastise friend or foe. Democrat or
Republican. He had many admirers,
but, because of his bitterness, not bo
Mr. De Armond was tbe son of a
locomotive engineer. He was born at
Dnncansvllle, near Altoona, Pa., in
1S44, was brought up on a farm, re
ceived a common school education, at
tended an academy at Hollldaysburg
and early In life went to Missouri.
Before coming to congress De Ar
mond bad ben a state senator and
circuit Judge in Missouri and? commis
sioner of the state supreme court.
Perhaps the most spectacular event
In the congressional career of Judge
Do Armond was his personal encounter
on the floor of the house after ad
journment with John Sharp Williams,
his rival for the leadership of tbe
The two men bad been at odds for
years. They kept up an appearance
of amicable relations In the business
affairs of the house, as both occupied
places as floor leaders of tbe minority.
One afternoon in December Williams
took a seat beside De Armond and be
gan to discuss the matter of a com
mittee appointment of one of De Ar
mond's colleagues from Missouri. There
was a misunderstanding, Williams in
sisting that De Armond had consulted
him about an appointment. De Ar
mond Insisted that no such conversa
tion as Williams sketched had taken
place, but Williams said that he would
think bis own way about it.
"If you repeat that statement I shall
have to brand it as a lie," said De
Armond in his cold, imperturbable way.
"I do repeat it," hotly returned Wil
liams. "Then you are a liar!" rasped
out De Armond.
"You don't mean that. Judge," said
"Yes, I do," said the determined De
Armond. "You are a liar!"
Both men were now standing. Wil
liams struck out and landed squarely
on De Armond's nose. The latter re
plied with a blow that cut a gash un
der Williams eye. They clinched, and
the crowd of congressmen and at
taches thnt had run up separated the
two men. Both were small and light,
and little damage was done. There
was talk of a challenge, but friends
induced them to let the matter blow
Judge De Armand was a student, and
his manner in debate was that of a
man who cared more for the truth and
logic of his reasoning than for stirring
the enthusiasm of his listeners.
"It was the constant gesturing of
that fellow at the other end of the
wire that made it so hard to catch
what he said." growled a man who
had been wrestling with the telephone
in a downtown office.
"How in the world could you tell be
was making gestures?" asked the in
"By the jerky way the words came
over the wire. Many people get so
excited when telephoning that they
gesticulate as frantically as if they
were talking with a man face to face.
Their bouncing around and sawing the
air break the voice, and the sentences
come over the wire in fragments. I
have talked with so many people who,
I learned later, were dancing a Jig at
the other end of the wire that 1 al
ways can tell when that gesticulating
is going on." New York Globe.
Two weeks after he had faced the
parson with the only girl in the world
he chanced upon Jones, one of his old
"Well, old man," remarked tbe lat
ter, grinning. "I can't say you look the
part of a happy benedict. What's tbe
trouble? Have you suffered a disap
pointment?" "I have." answered the other grimly.
"My wife can't sing!"
"Can't sing?" echoed Jones cheerily.
"But in that case I Bhould have said
you were to be congratulated."
"That's not tbe trouble." responded
the young busbaud. "The trouble is
she thinks she can !"
i Browning I hear you are engaged
to that young widow who i3 visiting
relatives here. Is it true? Greening
Yes. Browning How did you discov
er that she was the one woman in the
world for an old bachelor like you?
Greening Why, she er told me so.
j A Foolish Notion.
Most of the men who think tb
world is against them are so insignifi
cant that the world has never noticed
them. Chicago Record-Herald.
Happiness is not perfected until it is
shared. Jane Porter.
H. E. CASTEEIi, President.
M. S. HEAGY, Vice-President.
II. B. SIMMON, Cashier.
One dollar a week deposited in
our savings bank for 20 years
will amount to about $1,400.00.
A deposit of $5 a week will
amount to about $7,000. The an
nual interest on this at 4 per
cent would be $280. Thus the
man who deposit's $5 a week in
our bank can after 20. years draw
out $4 a week and still leave to
his wife and children at his death
all the money deposited and half
as much more.
1 Per Cent Paid on Deposits
a ii T'nih'- h n.rr-n iimimi irjwr mr --mrau an i uni I'lrna
"Ye have not passed th:3 way heretofore." Joshua III, 4
So rrmst we journey on
Nor pause to rest, and muse
O'er what ways we have gone.
It is not ours to choose
The road lies straight and clear
To where the far hills lose
Their lines, and mists appear
To maKo the way obscure
The Highway of the Year.
The mists bar, and allure;
They taunt, and tempt our eyes.
Would that we might maKe sure
What prospects will arise!
Will they find meadows fair
Asleep beneath the sKies
That shall delight us there?
Or blithely nodding rose
Saluting as we fare
Afar? Where, no man Knowst
Where, none may say or see
Save that he blindly goes.
WiU it be barren tree
Or boughs low-hung with fruit?
Will there be melody
Of soul-contenting lute.
Or voice of one who sings?
Will tangling vine and root
Add to our hinderings?
Or will the way be smooth
For him who onward swings?
Will shade be flung to sooth
His wearied, fretted brow?
Will there be restful booth
Where he may wait, somehow,
.And garner peace and cheer?
Naught gives us answer now
The way lies straight and clear
To where the mists arise.
We see with wond'ring eyes
The Highway of the Year.
(Copjrliiht. 150. by
The Argus Daily Short Story
While Waiting By Saa G. Igleheart.
Copyrighted, 1909, by Associated Literary Press.
Two days' limit," snld Willis Bates
as he looked doubtfully at the ticket.
"Can 1 make it in that time?"
"Yes," and the agent pushed some
change through the window and wait
ed expectantly for the next man in the
line, "we make close connections. TeD
minutes stop at Columbia and twenty
at Charlotte for dinner. Jacksonville?
Nine-ten." And Bates felt himself
pushed unceremoniously aside by a
portly man. who was eager to ex
change a banknote for the ticket which
was being stamped.
"That's your train on the outside
track." the agent called wamlngly.
As this advice was accentuated by a
sharp "All aboard:" and a rush of a
few belated passengers toward the
outside track. Hates snatched up bU
hand bag and sprang forward.
"Whew, that was certainly a close
connection:" he said grimly as he
swung himself on the rear car of the
moving train. "If I keep on at this
rate I'M get through in time for the
sale, and that will mean a thousand
dollars in my pocket. Lucky I thought
The parlor car. was full, so Bates
wen,t on until he found a seat with a
loquacious, insistent hotel runner. Just
across was a bright looking woman in
a plain traveling suit, and be glanced
at her with sudden, half recognizing
But a traveler is always running
across faces that look familiar, and
bis attention was soon engrossed In
warding off the advances of the hotel
The. train rushed on wfth the vehe
ment, noisy Impetuosity peculiar to
southern trains, as though striving to
give an impression of terrific speed,
and tbe fine South Carolina dust sifted
"In through the windows and spread
thickly over the dingy plush seats,
calling forth handkerchiefs and Im
patient exclamations from the passen
gers and swirling now and then into
angry clouds at the feeble onslaught
of the train boy's broom.
Once be noticed the woman of the
opposite seat looking at bim inquir
ingly, as though she. too, was trying
to recall something familiar. But
when be turned to her she was gazing
from the window.
At Columbia he spent tbe ten min
utes in a forced defense of politics
and at Charlotte was glad to leave bis
companion and Join the rush toward
the railroad restaurant. As a general
thing he avoided such places. There
were apt to be poor food and service,
and not infrequently one was served
so late that he could only snatch a few
tnouthfuls before it was time to burry
for the train.
But here he was agreeably disap
pointed, and when he went to the desi
near the door to leave his 73 cents it
was with a feeling of satisfaction at
not having been imposed upon. Out
side he. looked at his -watch. .4 1 ..still
W. O. Ctipmn.)
lacked five minutes of train time, so
he walked leisurely down the plat
form. As he turned to come back he found
himself face to face with the woman
who sat opposite bim in the car. For
a moment they gazed squarely into
each other's eyes, then both started
"Aren't you Charlie Dolbrook?" the
woman asked eagerly. "1 thought 1
knew you ou the train."
"Yes. and you are. or was. Alice
Durfee," Bates said, no less eagerly.
"My. but I'm glad to meet you: Lot
me see. it's eighteen years since I left
the old village, and 1 haven't seen a
soul from there since. liow are they
all yoar mother, and Henry Taber.
and my cousin. Bob Bates? Bob's
the only kin 1 have, but be and I never
did get ou well together. Oh. 1 beg
your pnrdou" hurriedly "I forgot."
"My mother died ten "years ugo," she
answered steadily. "After that I came
south and have only been back once
since. Henry Taber had tbe postotiice
the last I knew, and Bob"
There was a significant movement
across the platform, and Bates glanc
ed at his waitb.
"It's time to get on board:" he ex
claimed. "We'll finish our talk in the
But the v.oitiau drew back.
"This isn't my train." she said. "I
wait here two hours."
"Really:" with sudden dismay in bis
voice. "Why. I was counting on a
good long talk. Is Bob your husband
She looked surprised.
"I don't know what you mer.n.'he
answered. "1 have never married. 1
came south ten years ago In search of
work tnd have been teaching school
ever since. You'll miss your train."
It was already gliding down the plat
form, but he neither noticed it nor bcr
warning. In his eyes was an expres
sion of incredulous inquiry.
"Isn't Bob Bates"
She motioned toward the train.
"Yon'II miss It.'" she cried again;
then her baud dropped to ber side.
"There; it is too late! Was it very
"Yes no that is. I guess so." he an
swered indifferently. "A thousand dol
lars. I believe."
A man with the emblematic S. R. on
bis cap came down tb platform, and
Bates called him with a gesture.
"How long befoce the next train
north?" he demanded.
"An hour and forty minutes."
"Good!" turning to her, with beam
ing satisfaction. "And you have to wait
two hours. That will give us pleDty
of time to talk. Sow," with a stra6ge
eagerness iu bis voice, "do you mean
to tell me that you did not marry Bob
Bates the fall I left?"
"Certainly I did not." wonderingly.
"I never married anybody, taut b less
Bob Bates. 1 never liked that man."
"Strange, and lie told me"
"What?" she demanded sharply.
"Why. that you were promised to
him and that well, what he told me
was the cause of my leaving and of
my not communicating with any one
in the old village during all these
years. And to think" Here a truck
load of trunks was pushed rapidly to
ward them, aud they were forced aside.
Bates caught the eye of a waiting
hackmau and nodded. A momeot later
the carriage stood bcsWe the platform,
with the driver holding open the door
for them to euter.
' "A station platform is no place to
talk." said Bates genially. "Suppose
we take a drive through some of the
quiet streets of tho city. We have
plenty of time." Then be looked at
her with a new thought in bis eyes.
"I didn't ste you In the" he began,
then added hastily, "You haven't bad
dinner, I suppose:"
"No," hesitating and flushing a lit
"Oh. I understand." qnlckly. "Yon
are like me and can't put up with the
makeshifts of a railroad restaurant.
Now, I'll tell you what." unblushlngly,
"I'm about as bungry as a man can be.
There's a nice hotel in back some
where. We'll go to that and have
dinner, and then we'll drive about the
city and talk until train time."
There was hesitation, almost, refu
sal, on her face; but, feigning not to
notice It. be urged her Into the carriage
and then sprang in himself and mo
tioned for the driver to close the door.
An hour passed and then a half
hour, and soon after a train rumbled
into the station and then rumbled
away. Twenty minutes more and an
other train arrived and departed. As
It disappeared the carriage again
whirled up beside the station.
Has my train gone?" the woman
asked anxiously as she reached tbe
Bates took out his watch and looked
at it meditatively.
"I'm afraid it has," he answered.
"and my train, too. with its possible
thousand dollars. We've been gone a
little over two hours. Driver," severe
ly, "you ought not to have taken us
There was grave concern ia his voice,
but in bis eyes was a sly twinkle,
which she did not notice. The driver
twirled his hat apologetically in one
hand, but into the other a generous tip
had been slipped, so be was silent.
"It is really too bad." Bates con
tinued sympathetically. "There is only
one more. train out today. aDd that
goes toward Richmond. But I'll tell
you what." as though struck by a sud
den solution of the problem, "suppose
we take that. You know what you
have promised me at the end of three
months. Now. what is the use of
waiting that long? You have no peo
ple, aud 1 have none, and if you go
back to that school you have been
telling me alout it will be to unap-pro-iative
employers and at wages
that will scarce pay your expenses. 1
have a good house waiting for some
body to look after it and more money
in tbe bank than I know what to do
with. Now. my Idea is for us to go
to a minister. You know where a min
ister lives, don't you?" to the driver.
"Yis. sorr," grinning.
"And then come back and take the
train for Richmond. It is a very nice
city, and you are bcund to like it. How
does the scheme strike you?"
Kvidently it struck ber unfavorably
or as something tco astounding to ad
mit even of a reply.
'Good:' he said beamingly. "Silence
means cou.sent. Now we will drive
back to tbe hotel ami write a couple of
letters. You tell the school committee
that unforeseen circumstances prevent
ed your returning, and I will write
that the sa:;v kind of circumstances
have kept me from attending the sale.
She parted her l'ps as thousl) to pro
test acd even tried to draw back, but
her heart was with this man who bad
been so much to her youth and who
bad returned, aud in the end she en
tered the earring vvith him and the
door was again closed by the driver.
It is said that the groom is usually
the cne. to show trepidation at a wed
ding, but in this case it was the bride.
In a twinkling the who:? course of ber
life had been turned. She was beintf
transformed from a schoolteacher to
a wife. But in ber breast was that
satisfaction at being permitted to give
up that struggle with tbe world which
is natural to men and usually distaste
ful to women. Instead a vision glim
mered before ber eyes a vision of
home, husband and children and.
despite such gasps as one will take at
being swung over a precipice, she was
An hour later this driver was stand
ing on the platform of the station
watching the train rumble away to
ward Richmond. Not until it had dis
appeared did he climb back to his boz
and drive toward home. Bridget, bis
wife, was preparing supper when he
came in from the stable.
"Ccb. rat." she called Id sudilen ap
prehension, "how come yez so soon?
It is bad luck ye've been bavin' tho
"Troth, no. Biddy." catching her In
bis arms and swinging ber about the
room and then slipping a crisp new
ten dollar bill in ber hand. "That's
ftr the new clothes the childcrs nade."
When a cold becomes settled in tne
system, it will take several days' treat
ment to cure it, and the best, remedy
to use is Chamberlain's Cough Rem
edy. It will cure quicker tban any
other, and also leaves the system In a
natural and healthy condition. Sold
by all druggists.
as to the
eWorld's Pare rod xpsitSaa
- tlucja, 1307.
Sy J)VjVCAsr K. SMITH
rPIIKY do not do the things they did
When yJJ atlti 1 v.ero young-.
The world 1 run on different lines.
And different sorifs are sun?.
The loys pot busy with tho chores.
The (iauffhte'S milked tho cow.
Tot!ay tl.py tfff at thinp.s llk tht.
For we're ba-W numbers now.
Then the amtl'.'on of a youth
As he Ucame a rr.on
Was to secure a patch of Eround
And on the 8T,'K oltl Plar
To ralFe a family of his on-n
And thus to ee:ve tho state
While Lrinr.-ins blessings to himself.
Cut that is out of date.
Tho rrlrl looked forward to the time
When !,i:u could le a v.iic.
Have llttls children and a home
And 1 ":.d a useful life.
She didn't want to join a club
Ai.d run tho ship of state.
Ton f-eo how far behind the times
We are and out of date.
Tho toys r.iTjst alt be lawyers now
Or doctors, or what not.
The elrls mu3t be stenographers.
They scorn the humble cot.
For If they wed they move Into
A new steam heated flat.
Things are not as they used to be .
You may be sure of that.
"He proposed to ber the first time
he ever saw hcr.M
"I wonder what made him do that."
"Oh, she said he looked like a good
chance, trad he, being a good sportsman.
Just couldn't help asking her to take
In an Absentminded Moment.
"Kerchoo! I wish I knew where I
got this grip."
"Where do you get your umbrellas?"
"What's that got to do with it7"
"Maybe you picked the grip up tha
Believes In Disciplining Everybody.
"I hate to go to the opera."
"Do you really?"
"Then why do you go?"
"My husband doesn't like to go
Wealth at a Stroke.
"What thall we capitalize this min
ing company for?"
"Make It enough."
"One or ten millions?"
"De Hberol. Auother cipher will not
cost any more."
Its Usual Significance.
'What did you say his name Is?"
"We call him Honest John."
"Ah! I suppose that means we all
must look out for our pocketbooks."
"Anything doing?" asked the chance
"Only us. We're doing you," re
turned the Industrious footpads.
"He Is out bunt
"Got a gun along?"
"No, Just bis
When we meet a long time friend
we .fomeliiues feel like commiserating
hi::i for bis lost youth and would do
so truly be annoys us by being sur
prised at the marks of time we ore
It is truly remarkable how pretty
most any woman is when she isn't
A good guess Is a sure winner If
there is nono better and guessing goes.
Tbe only way v.e can get back at
other people is by talking about them.
That's why we do It.
If we could arrange to have rich re-Int!ons-Jn-law
call about the time that
the bill collector get to our door per
haps the word play put up by that
Individual might mow them to bis
satisfaction aud our gain.
It is a microbe that causes the suf
fragettes, and that microbe Is, man.
It Is as hard to make a freakish per
son understand a normal position as It
is to make a colt eat codtish.
Tbe man who never goes wrong
doesn't go very far nor show very
great consequences arising from bIj
The ordinary successful man doefn't
owe fo much to his friend.- as he does
to tho easy marks that gladdened bli
Will power is strong insome people,
and won't power Is Just as remarkable
Philosophy Is the consolation of the
man who Is In no need of being con
soled. When prosperity Is abroad In sncn a
free aud abandoned manner through
out the land It scorns too bad that w
can't fall In with her occasionally.
Croup Is most prevalent during tha
dry cold weather of the early winter
months. Parents of youns children
should be prepared for It. All that Is
needed Is a bottle ofChamberlaln's
Cough Remedy. Many mothers are
rover without it In their homes and
It has never disappointed them. Sold
by all druggists.