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THE ROCK ISLAISTD ARGUS, SATURDAY,' JANUARY 15, 1910.
Chords and Discords
EGOS AND EGCS.
i Lawrence M. Magill, state's attorney
(for Rock Island county, naa a weakness
try eggs. He
bas a friend
in the rural
brings him In
a basket of the freshly-laid variety.
! He was in the other day with three
dozen. They were transferred from
ithe basket la which they were trans
j ported from the country into a large
'paper sack that the attorney had se
' cured at a store near the court house.
The prosecutor telephoned his wife
jin Moline that the supply had been re
iptenished and that he was starting
home with the three dozen..
. On the journey east on Second ave
jnue in this city he was joined by a
I few friends. The attorney had an ap
iPointmeut at the New Harper. He
carefully placed the sack of eggs in a
! chair and induced one of his friends
ito be on guard until he returned.
,Then the Tillage pests began evolving
'ideas of "putting one over" on the
r Of the schemes suggested, this one
was adopted: They would go to a
nearby grocery and buy three dozen of
the storage variety of uncertain age
and switch' them for the fresh ones.
The man who proposed the job is mar
ried and is fond of fresh eggs also,
andhe agreed to stand the bill. Pres
ently Mr. Magill returned, and, tender
ly taking up the sack, he hurried to
catch his car for Moline.
The next morning there were "fresh
country' eggs for breakfast in the
Maglll home. Lawrence had been
bragging to his better half of the pull
he had with his friend In the country.
He knew friends of his who had scour
ed the stores and they could not get
fresh ones, no matter what premium
they offered for them. Some day he
was going to show his farmer friend
how much he appreciated his kindness.
Of course, these bouquets were hand
ed out before the eggs were served.
The following day Mr. Maglll discov
ered he had been made the victim of
a joke. The farmer could have had
him arrested if the thoughts of him
that ran through the attorney's mind
at the breakfast table had been put
. into words and he would have heard
The man who got the fresh eggs has
the laugh now, but Mr. Magill has re
minded him that he has a number of
years longer to linger in the communi
ty and that nature has blessed, him
with- an excellent memory.
THE TALE OF" A CHECK.
The discussion reverted to train
gambling. Several in the party had
recounted experiences with men whom
ithey had met in their travels who had
bested them at whist and poker, played
,to pass away the time, and wondered
if they had fallen into the clutches of
the smooth individuals who ride on the
finer passengers in the west.
- "1 had a business meeting to attend
in , Kansas City," said Captain W. A.
Rosenfleld. "It was a night ride, and
I wasn't sleepy enough to turn in early.
I was engaged In conversation by a
smart-appearing man who represented
himself to be in an extensive bnsiness
in the city I was destined for. After
a time he inquired if I ever played
bridge whist. I confessed that I did.
( Immediately I began to anchor my
watch, bury my cravat pin and cover
up my loose change. I drew him on
in an effort- to impeach him in his as
sertions asr to his Kansas City connec
tions, but I couldn't get other than
what struck me as a straight story.
,We looked about us and located two
men who acted as though they might
be interested In. some sort of social
pastime. My friend did not know them
at least he protested that he did not.
Of course that is the stall of the real
train card crook. I looked the pair
over and about decided I was altogeth
er too Incredulous in estimating human
nature. I had & stateroom and invited
the trio to join me there. Bridge
whist it was. It was a gentleman's
game, so far as the stakes was con
cerned, and I did pretty well for a
epell. Then my luck turned. Again
the old suspicion returned, but I wasn't
going to get cold feet at that late
hour, and determined to go through
with It. "Well, I was the fall guy. At
the finish I was indebted to the three.
I didn't have the cash with me, and
said if they would wait until I reached
Kansas City I would settle with them
at the hotel. This proposition was not
warmly received. I guess they were
beginning to form the same opinion of
me as I had of them. My friend final
ly mentioned that he would aceept my
check for the whole amount and he
would pay the other two. That was
conclusive to me that I had been roped
they were working together, for the
other two agreed to this. I hesitated,
momentarily perhaps their plan was
to get my check and then raise it.
But they could not do that if I execut
ed it properly. This I did, and handed
over the check to my friend.
"The funny part of the story is that
while I lost, I didn't, for the check
was never cashed. That has been
over a year ago, and I have never
heard from it. What has been bother
ing me all the while is whether they
were really, bunko men."
looked to me as though she was raised
on lemons nearly bit me when I fail
ed to make good on the bid I made
while playing her partner. Oh, I'd
love to look into her face at 6 : 30 in
the morning just before the call to
arms at the breakfast table. I'll wager
when she smiles her feet hurt.
But, In the evening's maneuvers I
struck a ray of sunshine that caused
me to forget that there was anything
in 'the world but beauty and goodness.
My! I could write a book about her.
She was the hostess, or the daughter
of the hostess. It was she who served
the chafing dish. I was close enough
where I could observe that she knew
her business. And when I got some of
the rarebit to my opener well, it was
all off. - I managed to get a short talk
with her during the evening, and. I tell
you, I have collapsed. She talks as
though there was really something to
her. Father has a few farms and slie'3
the only daughter. Of course, the
farms have nothing to do with my in
terest in her; but then they will not
stand in the way. I haven't played a
lone hand yet, but I think I will man
age to get an evening next week. I'll
keep you informed. BILLY.
TOLD OF TOLSTOY
Interesting Incidents in Career
of Great Russian Novelist
'I PI J U11 I
r m.n. i
Dear Tom:" Guess I'll have to go
into the country and roll down the
hills to get wakened to my former self.
About three days before Christmas
some careless fellow rocked the boat
and we all got spilled. It was one of
the stormiest seas I have ever encoun
tered in my years of faring. Well, last
Monday we all packed our dinner pails
and returned to work with the whistle.
This simple life is great.
How nice it is to sit'at home even
ings, lie back in a large arm chair,
read fairy stories and hear the dog
snore. What a privilege! I've become
such a homebody after nightfall that
the neighbors are beginning to say
that my health has broken down and
that it is not from choice but because
of the admonitions of the family physi
cian that I am remaining indoors. Oh,
it is so nice to have such lovely neigh
bors. They are just crazy about me.
One of the anvil chorus slipped through
the door one afternoon recently and
broke my engagement to my folks, giv
ing the name of the girl, the date, the
size of my bank account, etc. I met
that old hussy two days later and I
actually thought she would hug me she
was so fussy over me. I had a long
speech, with plenty of pepper in It,
cooked up for her, but what's a fellow
going to do when they are bo sweet to
his face? She's been playing our house
about two matinees a week the last
few months. Mother told me to put
some ashes on the stone steps leading
to the front door to prevent accidents.
I advised against it, saying that the
cinders would be pressed into the
porch and ruin it. My real purpose
was in the hope that that old knocker
would slip and wrench one of her shoes
so that she could not get away from
her own hearth for the remainder of
her natural life. I have been trying to
educate my dog to hate her. but she's
headed me off by feeding him the meat
that she cuts off the cook's family pur
chases. Well, the dog is well fed. any
way. He is taking on flesh, and old
sister's husband is getting thin. She's
too all-fired measly mean to be fat.
Of course, there's nothing in what
the old woman says about my engage
mont. You know me too well to let
any dope like that get through your
top-piece. But, tell the truth, I am
getting some soft on a belle with a
chafing dish. You know how fond of
my food I am, Tom. Well, I have locat
ed a queen who surely knows how to
beat sense into the flour and things.
Purely accidental with me. I was call
ed in one night as a filler. I never in
the world would have been invited
only one of the regulars threw a shoe
or something and they had to have a
substitute or the party would not go
right. Played cards, you know, all
sitting around tables, and moving af
ter every game." Lovely billiards, that.
I em a regular scream at that business.
Buchre was the game, I believe. One
meets such sweet-dispositioned ladles
at these affairs. One old skirt she
BIT HE U1DXT WALK.
The late John P. Newburg, best re
membered to the local public as the
manager for several years of the Watch
Tower inn. might have died a wealthy
i man had his inventive genius been
turned to good account financially.
His friends are recalling an instance
of his visit to Washington in an effort
to induce congress to adopt an inven
tion of his as the official mail box of
the United States postoffice depart
ment. He was without means to give
! the invention the promotion that was
necessary to Its success, and he laid
his case before several Rock Island
men with bank accounts and a desire
to get rich quick.
They saw the possibilities of his in
vention, if he could, as he said he be-
CRITICISM OF BIG SLEEVES
Thought Lady Visitor Had Wasted
Enough Cloth to Make Dress
For a Little Girl.
Several years ago it was written of
Count Leo Tolstoy, the Russian nov
elist, philosopher and reformer, that
while he was In no sense a popular
author his books bad a wider circula
tion than those of any other writer
living at that time. His books have
been translated into no less than forty
five different languages and dialects.
The man whose views were thus dis
seminated throughout the civilized
world succeeded in achieving his aim
to make his life an open book to be
read of all mankind. Born to wealth,
he renounced the world when he real
ized its vanities' and retired to his es
tate to live the life of a farmer and
to preach In his writings the doctrines
of humanity. In the quiet of Yasuaya
Polyana. his estate in southern Rus
sia, Tolstoy, working side by side with
the benighted and Ignorant Russian
peasants, became a philosopher, an ex
pounder of Biblical teachings and an
exponent of the creed that every man
should earn his bread by the sweat of
Once a lady philanthropist crossed
the Russian frontier to visit Tolstoy.
Ushered into the presence of the phi
losopher, she uttered the usual con-
lieved if he could rub elbows with the ventional greetings and explanations
powers that be, have it officially adopt?d
by the government. They agreed to
finance a trip to the national capital,
where, it was agreed, Mr. Newburg
should remain until he accomplished
something. He was empowered to em
ploy an attorney, if necessary, to aid
him in his promotion. His stay was to
be Indefinite. On his departure he
drew several hundred dollars, but this
did not last long in Washington, where
the inventor soon discovered that it
cost money to hobnob with the men
with a pull. After several drafts on
the local backers, with no encourage
ment as to the likelihood of the adop
tion of the mail box, the men here
agreed among themselves that they had
Finally, realizing that he was up
against a stone wall, .Mr. Newburg
wired his Rock Island associates for
Instructions. He was now in New
York. They replied, advising him to
return home. He sent a telegram back
saying: "Walking across the moun
tains is a pretty tough proposition."
This convinced the local men that at
least Mr. Newburg was not a pincher;
that he let go his last penny in hi3
hopeless campaign. So they wired a
remittance, and he rode back home on
the upholstered seats.
COURT HOUSE RECORD
Real Estate Transfers.
Philip Migom to John Kloppen
borg. lot 6. block 173, city of East
Mary E. Cramer to Blanche B.
Eldridge, part lot 6. (assessors plat
1870 in northwest quarter southeast
quarter northwest quarter section 11-17-2W.
J. Johnson Sporrey to Samuel A.
Thompson, part lot 10, Steven's ad
dition. Moline, $1.
White, Pope & Guyer to Charles
A. Baker, lots 33, 3 4. block 16 4,
city of East Moline. $600.
D. W. GItt to Henry S. Dibbern, lot
11, block 1, Sears' first addition. Sears,
Are You in Doubt Where to Spend
The Grand Trunk Railway system
(double track) offers the choice of
many delightful resorts via Canada,
New England and on Jersey coast.
Special low round trip fares to many
of them. If you will advise how much
you have to spend for railroad fare,
a publiaition describing attractive
routes to the sections you can reach,
ogether with fares, will be sent you.
W. S. Cookson, A. G. P. A., 135 Adams
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of her visit, while he eyed her silently
and in 'abstraction, "as if," she said
afterward, "he were quietly turning
back the top of my head aDd looking
at the thoughts Inside." When she
had finished speaking he touched her
arm, which was covered, as was the
fashion at that time, with a large
sleeve, and 6aid: "Why do you wrap
so much cloth on your arms? If you
ripped it off it would make a good
frock for a little girl."
Decried All Wars.
Some years ago -Count Tolstoy de
cried all revolutions and wars, declar
ing that there never was a good war.
His address to his dear brother the
emperor, written at the time of the
Russo-Japanese war, was all In sorrow,
not In anger; a warning, not a threat.
Epitomized, the statements of Tolstoy
First. The working people desire to be
delivered from special laws that place
them In the position of a pariah, de
prived of all the rights of other citizens.
Second. They desire freedom of remov
al from place to place, freedom of educa
tion, freedom of conscience and. above
all. freedom in the use of the land, the
abolition of the right of landed property.
Proof of Hi Humor.
Despite the general seriousness of
his views of life and its obligations,
the following incident is a proof of
Tolstoy's sense of humor: Once an
American roillionaire and his com
panions wanted very much to see the
great author, and eventually this was
arranged, the stipulation being that
no one should speak to Tolstoy.
Tolstoy took his seat on the balcony
of his home, and the Americans filed
past iu solemn procession. Everything
went vvell until the last lady arrived.
She. however, did not keep ber part
of the bargain, for. bending forward,
she called out: "Leo Toystoy! Leo
Tolstoy! All your great works have
deeply influenced my life, but espe
cially" And here she stopped short,
having forgotten the name of the
book. The great author leaned over
the edge cf the balcony and said smil
ingly. " 'Dead Souls,' perhaps." "Yes.
yes." answered the lady. "Ah. in
deed:" said Tol?toy. "That book is
by Gogol and not by me."
Experience With a Policeman.
Once in Mofcow Count Tolstoy saw
a persistent beggar asking alms, who
exclaimed. "X little penny, brother, in
the name of Christ!"
A police officer approached. He was
young, martial, and wrapped in the
regulation sheepskin. At sight of him
the beggar fled, hobbling away in
fright and haste.
"Is it possible." said Tolstoy to him- .
self, "that people are forbidden to ask
charity in Christ's name in a Christian
"Brother," he said to the policeman,
"can you read?"
"Yes," said the officer politely.
"Have you read the Bible?"
"And do you remember Christ's or
ders to feed the hungry?" And he cited
the words. The policeman was evi
dently troubled. lie turned to his
questioner and asked:
"And you, sir you can read?"
"And fcave you read the police reg
ulations?" "Yes, brother."
"And do you remember that begging
in the main streets is forbidden?"
The philosopher found no answer
Charming as a companion with his
family, witty and laughing heartily at
his own jokes, Tolstoy often delightPd
bis children with stories of hi3 early
adventures or with fables composed
on the spur of the moment for their
We wish to notify the public that all of our
employes carry our badge. Do not admit
anyone who claims to represent us and does
not carry our badge.
PEOPLES P(DWEIIg CD
The Planing Machine.
As to the original Inventor of the
planing machine there is perhaps
scarcely a machine about which there
has been more controversy than this,
and there are many claimants to the
honor. There are records, however,
showing that Nicholas Forq. a French
clockmaker. used a metal planer in
1751 for machining pump cylinders, ap
parently being under the Impression
that they could be made more accu
rately In this manner than by a re
volving cutter. Cassier's Magazine.
SHAND OUT AS COLONEL
Itockford Man Appointed Chief As
sistant Adjutant General to Retire.
Rockford, 111.. Jan. 15. Richings
J. Shand, recently appointed chief as
sistant adjutant general, has inform
ed Rockford friends that he will re
sign as colonel of the 3rd regiment,
Illinois National guard. The resigna
tion, it is expected, will be submit
ted in a few days.
Colonel Charles II. Green of Aur
ora, present lieutenant colonel, will
succeed to the colonelcy. It is un
derstood he will have no opposition,
lie was a member of the 3d in the
Porto Rlcan campaign.
Colonel Shand has been at the
head of the regiment since 1905. He
worked his way up from private, hav
ing joined the regiment in 1887.
Piles Cured In 6 to 14 Days.
Pazo Ointment is guaranteed to i
cure any case of itching, blind bleed
ing or protruding piles in 6 to 14 j
lays, or money refunded. 50 cents.
MR. WM. A. PRESSER.
MR. WILLIAM A. PRESS KR, 1722
Third Ave., Moline, 111., writos:
"I have been suffering from catarrh
In the head for the past two months
nd tried innumerable so-called reme
lifM without avail. Noone knows how
I have eufTercd, not only from t!ic dis
ease itself, but from mortification when
In company of friends or strangers.
"I havo used two bottles of your mea
Icino for a ph'rt tinio only, and it
effected a complete medical cur?, and
what is hotter yot, the disease hua not
"I can most emphatically rpoomrcand
Pprnna to all sufferers from this dis
ease." Read This Experience.
Mr. A. Thompson, Box 6. R. R. L,
Martcl, Ohio, writes: "When I lw-;r:m
your treatment my eyes were inf.ami d,
nose was stopped up half of the time,
end was sore and scabby. I could not
rest at night on account of continual
b&wking and spitting.
"I had tried several remedies and was
about to give np, but thought I would
"After I had taken about one-third cf
a bottle I noticed a difference. I am
now completely cured, after suffering
with catarrh for eighteen years.
"I think if tho.-e who aro afTiictod
with catarrh would try Peruna thay
would never regret it."
' Man-a-lin an Ideal Laxative
Ask Your Druggist for a Free Peruuu
Almanac for 1010.
CLARK'S CRUISE OF THE "CLEVELAND"
pro. 1 8,000 tons, brand new. r"-.
H cuporbly fitted. WV(
uufiu the mum
the ENTIRE CRUISE
With elermtor, rrlll roam, man a Mum.
FROM NEW YORK, OCTOBER 16, 1909
firarly four months, costing only AND CP.
Including 11 necrry exprnnrs i prince It trcl-
Ine; 'n balmy cliipates. nfertatnmrnts. lectures.
rarrl parties. anl chaperoaag tor larli-.
SPECIAL. FEATURES t Mcdaira, Epypt,
India, Ceylon, Burma, Java, Borneo, Phil
Ippines, Japan. An unusual chance to visit
unusually attractive places.
CLARK'S 12th Annual CRUISE
-pf Feb. 5 to April lO p
10 THE ORSEhT
By S. Si Grower Kurfuerst
Sereoty. three days, tnrladlnr 4 tiTS ! Ftrrvf Ant)
the Holy Lkd1 (with aide trip to Khartoum; costire
oly lMK.00 anl op, incluHiae shore extra rioa .
SPECIAL. FEATL KE8 Madeira. Cadie. Seville.
Algiers, Malta, Constantinople. Athens, Horn, the
Rivit-ra, etc. Tickets rood to stop over la Europe,
Include Passion Piny, etc.
fBAAK C CLARK TbsM BU., Nw Tork.
Now is the time to investigate th
opportunities and possibilities in Rock
Island States Southwest Oklahoma.
Texas, Eastern Colorado, Southwestern
Kansas, New Mexico, the Panhandle.
Arkansas and Louisiana. You should
see and hear the successful men of
the southwest and they are legion
have them tell you how they be
came Independent In just a few short
The opportunities are there, and
with energy and thrift you can do
Just as well.
Go down on the
and see for yourself what others
have done and are doing.
Take advantage of the low farea
in effect on this date, make a trip
of investigation and be convinced.
Literature, descriptive of the sec
tion which interests you most, on re
quest. S. F. BOYD
Division Passenger Agent, Davenport
F. H. Plummer, C. P. Agt
1829 Second Avenue, Rock Island, IIL
For those economical housewives who appreciate
"Straight Talk" and are always glad to take advantage
of the bargains offered bv the Pioneer cash grocery. For
this week we offer the following:
Large can sliced pineapple, per can 25c
Large can California apricots, per can ' 12ViC
Yellow Crawford peaches, per can 15c
Bartlett pears, per can ,5c
Green Gage plums, per can 1 0c
Egg Plums, per can 10s
25 ounce K. C. baking powder, per can 20c
Yeast Foam, per package 3c
Arm and Hammer soda, per package 8c
Assorted Jello, per package 7c
Bulk cocoanut, per pound 15c
Oil sardines, six cans 25c
Mustard sardines, three cans 25c
Argo starch, six packages 25c
Pancake flour, three packages 25c
Macaroni, three packages 25c
Rub No More washing powder, four pound package "15c
White Line washing powder, seven pound package 25c
One pound chewing tobacco, 25c
One pound smoking tobacco 20c
Quart jar mince meat 25c
Quart jar preserves 25c
Bulk olives (large), per quart . 50c
Bulk olives (small), per quart 25c
Sauer kraut, per quart 7c
Lingon berries, per quart 12V2C
Sour and dill pickles, per gallon 25c
Anchovies, three pounds 25c
"Eaco" Always all right
Seal Shipt oysters, FreshVegetables and Fruits always
Shields' Cash Grocery
2532 Fifth Ave. . . . Both Phones.
This is Not
'A Clever Advertisement"