Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLAND ARGTJS, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2. 1010.
Published Daily and Weekly at 1624
if jond avenue, Rock Island. I1L En
f "pd at the postoffica as 'second-class
vj BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
I TERSia Dally. 1 cents per week.
eekly, $1 per year In advance.
all communications of argumentative
.'aracter, political or religious, must
;iv real name attached for publlca
3B. No such articles will be printed
f 'er fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
,wnship In Rock Island county.
S-Tj RAPES COUNCIL 20
Wednesday, March 2, 191a
Even the Ekating has gone up.
f Though a short month, February
as long on weather.
Boost for a Greater Rock Island,
from every viewpoint.
By the way, what has become of the
3elt line all this while?
What Rock Island wants and needs
is a square deal all around.
Rockford Star: In Philadelphia the
orickbat i3 the emblem of brotherly
4 The common interest commands that
11 get together and pull for a Greater
1: Seventy-five cities in the country
Clave adopted the commission, form of
ocratic bouse. We are not captious
in condemning such methods Possibly
were the cases reversed, and the dem
ocrats in power, and in need of a de
fense, they might do Just as the re
publicans are doing. Still, it is wrong.
The speech was at a banquet of re
publicans in New York city. It was not
an official promulgation.
The newspapers of the country han
dled it very liberally, and that should
seem to be enough, so far as pub
licity is concerned. Certainly the dem
ocratic taxpayer should not be requir
ed to come forward and contribute to
the dissemination of literature which
he deems hurtful. If the republican
leaders want the speech printed and
scattered, let them foot the bill. Or
let thorn call upon their financial
friends In the, big trade marts of the
country. There are many of such.
J 1 rRcosevelt shot 11 elephants In Africa
' and will find a sick one to nurse when
he comes home.
"Tour bill is unconstitutional," says
congress to the president, "but we will
rote for it." There's independence for
The New Yorker who was sentenced
10 years for stealing a ham would
have been fined had he robbed "the
' The Terre Haute Star believes that
many persons would gladly pay $1 a
word or even more to get Teddy's de
scription of his own personal feelings
toward his illustrious successor.
Congressman Moxley eeems pursued
ty an evil fate. Having spent a roll of
coin to be elected congressman, along
comes Kenesaw Mountain Landis and
hangs him up with a f 29,000 fine for
coloring oleo to look like real creamery.
' Accordine to consular reports from
Great Britain, the total number of
persons employed in textile factories
in 1907 was 1.087,223, an increase of
6.9 per cent since 1904. Female card
foom operators working in cotton mills
equipped with the latest machinery
earn 25 shillings, or ?6.0S a week. This
1b an increase in the last 20 years of
$2.68 a week. There are 155,840 fe
males employed in the cotton mills of
New Paper-making Process.
Just now while there is so much dis
cussion about the price of paper, a
matter which formed one of the lead-
ing subjects under discussion while the
Aldrich tariff bill was being considered,
the description by Consul R, E. Holla
day of Santiago of a practical test to
be made In eastern Cuba looking to
the. production of a paper from sugar
cane fibre, is intensely Interesting.
Consul Holladay explains that the man
ufacture of paper from bagasse, the
dry refuse of sugar cane after the
Juice has been expressed, has often
been advocated, but never accomplish
ed on a commercial scale. The in
creased cost of wood pulp has stimu
lated experiments ' for solving this
problem. It has long been known that
excellent paper can be made from
sugar cane fiber, but the difficulty has
been to preserve the fiber intact while
extracting the Juice for sugar making.
The present machinery cuts and tears
the fiber so that the bagasse is $t only
A company organized in the United
States is constructing a large plant at
Preston, on Nlpe bay, to make a prac
tical test of a patented process for ex
pressing the Juice and conserving the
fiber and pulp for paper. The fiber is
separated from the pulp by machinery,
and then by evaporation the water is
eliminated, leaving the dry fiber and
pulp containing the solids and sucrose,
from which sugar is made. The fiber
and pulp are then baled separately for
shipment to the United States, where
the sugar is extracted by diffusion.
By this treatment the fiber is unin
jured and can be used in making high-
grade paper at a considerable saving
as compared with the cost of wood
pulp. The residue from the pulp is
also suitable for low-grade paper. It
is claimed that the preliminary tests on
a small scale have proved successful,
and that in addition to preserving the
bagasse for paper manufacture, a
larger percentage of sucrose is ob
tained than is possible by the present
methods of extraction in sugar houses.
The result of the experiment will be
watched with much interest by cane
sugar producers and manufacturers, be
cause if successful it will revolution
ize the sugar business in all cane
GREEK KING MAY ABDICATE
ugyi'" ',;,... , . . :
V' 'v - tjK tA
HOUXD King George carry out his
announced intention of quitting
the throne cf Greece it would un
doubtedly involve that little na
tion In more 6erious trouble than
any it has known for a number of
years. Other nations of Europe fear
that tho abdication of the king would
produce a reign of anarchy in the
kingdom, and that Turkey would con
sider such a condition cause for inter-
son of the late king of Denmark. He
was born December 24, 1845, and was
elected king of the Hellenes by the na
tional assembly at Athens, March 18.
1SG3. The heir aDDarent to the Orprk
ference. King George is the second throne is Prince Constantlne,
Cannon More of an Anarchist-Maker
Than Emma Goldman.
- People who are interested in Emma
Goldman and her doctrines will be in
terested in reading the article about
her in the March American magazine,
part ot which is quoted as follows:
"Emma Goldman, now about 43
years old, is a Jewess who was bora
Jn Russia. She came to this country
as a comparatively young girl. Her
relatives were among the sufferers in
: 'various anti-Jewish outbreaks. Tho
: story is told, although not confirmed,
that her father was murdered in her
presence, during a Jewish massacre.
As to her beliefs, we quote our in
formant as follows:
"Emma Goldman is an anarchist.
In the common view, all anarchists
are of the same ""type, and ah odious
J end dangerous. As a matter of fact
if anarchists are widely divided among
- themselves. Emma Goldman, for ex
ample, is distinctly a revolutionist,
but not a terrorist. The assassination
of rulers is no part of her program
nor does she in any way, directly or
indirectly, countenance it.
' "'Her faults are those of occasional
intolerance, imprudence and a degr-ii
of narrowness and fanaticism. Her
"virtues are those of self-devotion, klnd
' Uness, straight-forwardness, courage
and sympathy. Her propaganda, con-
- trary to some impressions, has always
been an object of self-sacrifice to her,
rather than a source of income. She
- tas always been a hard worker, supporting-
herself by the labor of her
-own hands chiefly in the capacity of a
" 'In most quarters Emma Goldman
; 1s not taken seriously. A famous
I western newspaper editor of republi-
' r-can faith rocently said:
" Emma Goldman, in her palmiest
Relays, never made so many anarchists
l:s Joe Cannon.'"
FIELD OF LITERATURE
The Man of the Hour in Kansas.
Jay E. House in Human Life for
March tells a powerful human inter
est story and the subject is Gover
nor Stubbs of Kansas. In all the
political turmoil and unrest which
has shriven the west during the past
five years, no other personality so
distinctive and unusual has been dis
closed. He was, so to speak, pitch
forked into reform broke in over
night. Stubbs, with the hayseed still
in his hair, had never seen the in
side of the Kansas statehouse until
the first legislature in which he sat
convened, and In his innocence imag
ined that every member had some
sort of Mpice in its affairs. So when
on the very first day, the "machine"
got a majority large enough to do
anything it liked, and proceeded to
distribute the loaves and fishes, he
was amazed and disgusted. He pro
tested, and his protests made about
as much impression apparently as a
mosquito bite on a dreadnought. No
body paid any attention to him. But
there was a weak spot in the ar
mor. The "bosses" had aroused a
sleeping giant in his wrath; a typ
ical Kansan tornado wa on the war
path. Knowing nothing of the po
litical game, socially crude and un
polished, he was yet the thunderbolt
which shattered the "old" Kansas
machine drunk with power into
kindling wood, and prepared a num
ber cf clever statesmen for the junk
heap. A splendid fighter is Stubbs
at once the most admired and the
best hated jayhawker on the political
horizon of the Sunflower state today.
Governor of his state, millionaire, ar
dent reformer and purifier of politics,
the story of the rise of this unlet
tered farmer boy is one that will stir
the blood of every citizen who likes
to believe that honor and patriotism
and sturdy manhood are as much a
part of our civic life today as ever
from all parts of Will county and the
adjoining districts gathered in the
Joliet National Bank building Monday
to participate in a reunion and din
ner and also to take steps which
probably will result in a cash prize of
$500 being offered to the first corn
grower of the county who will pro
duce 200 bushels to the acre.
THREE GO OVER FALLS;
CLOTHES FIND BODIES
Relatives, Acting on Advice of Clair
voyant Employ Strange Meth
Rockport, Ky., March. 2. Ambrose
Aubrey, Mrs. J. Aubrey and Miss Nel
lie Aubrey were drowned yesterday
when their canoe was swept over
Height falls, in Green river, near here.
The bodies of the victims were re
covered soon afterward in a peculiar
Acting upon the advice of a travel
ing clairvoyant, the friends of the vic
tims procured a complete set of wear
ing apparel belonging to each, and
cast them in the water near the place
where the trio went down. A party
In a gasoline launch followed the
clothing, which ruthed rapidly down
When about a mile from the scene
of the accident the clothing stopped.
The Argus Daily Short Story
A Vampire By F. A. Mitchel.
Copyrighted. 1910. by Associated Literary Vress.
They say that doctors ana clergy
men see more of humanity as it is
than any other class of men. but I
question if the endless panorama of
incidents typifying the different phases
of human life is witnessed by any
class that every day passes before
bankers.- Sometimes whole stories are
enacted before us spread over a term
of years. I am the rciository of one
such story that I watched from ifcr
beginning to its climax.
One afternoon a weather beaten old
farmer with silky white hair scattered
over his head came to my desk and.
pulling out a wallet, asked for a draft
on Denver for $200 la favor of Thomas
Williams. He counted out the money,
and then, having nothing to do while
the draft was .bein? prepared, bejan
to tell me the beginning of this story.
"I'm sendin' the money," he said,
"to my boy out in Colorado. He went
out there a year ago, rakln some
money with him that I give him, bwt
he hasn't had much luck, and it's all
gone. First he got sick; then when
he got well be went prospectin' and
struck somepin that looked good, but
some other fellers jumped his claim
whirled arour.d several times, and
started-toward a group of willows as J whatever that means, and took it all
If drawn by a magnet.
The unseen power drew the cloth
ing to different parts of the driftwood,
and at the points where the clothing
stopped the dead bodies of the owners
-'t Politics an Expensive Game.
i The Memphis News-Scimitar notes
that tho Benate ordered President
i.Taft's Lincoln day speech printed as
tn public document for general distribu
tion. The people will pay for the print
i leg. They will also pay the postage.
-The speech was in defense Gf the" ad
' 5miniBtration and of the republican
party. It was intensely partisan, and
?tte purpose cf its publication and dia
rBemination I to aid the party In power
-to remain there. It la to set before tho
cPKpl an ex parte statement of repub
lican worthiness and to show them
.bow Trrong It 7onld be to elect a dora-
lylarch 2 in American
17C0 I v .. ..iaesnian,
born; died 1S28. For his advocacy
of the Erie canal Clinton was
elected governor of New York In
1705 Sa m nouston, hero of Tennessee
and Texas, born near Lexington,
Va.; died 1863. "
J 002 Colonel Francis Wayland Parker,
noted educator and reformer, died;
A $500 PRIZE FOR CORN
Farmers to Pledge Bonus for 200
Ilu.shel Yield at Joliet Dinner.
Joliet, 111., March Z. Farmers
NEW PHILIPPINE DIOCESE
Rev. J. MacGinley, Philadelphia, Gets
One of New bishopries.
Rome, March 2. The pope has
created four dioceses in the Philip
pine islands. These are Zamboanga,
Tuguegareo, Lipa and the Islands of
Samaj: and Leyte, with the apostolic
prefecture of Palawan." Right Rev.
Mgr. Pablo Singzon, vicar general of
the diocese of Cebu, has been appoint
ed bi.nhop of Samar and Ieyte, Mgr.
I. Petrelli, formerly secretary of tho
apostolic delegation at Manila, bishop
of Lipa; Rev. J. MacGinley of Phila
delphia bishop of Nueva Caceras, and
Right Rev. J. P. Gorordo, formerly
auxiliary bishop of Cebu, bishop of
that diocese to replace Right Rev.
Thomas A. Hendrick.
To the Taxpayers of the City of
Rock Island: You are hereby notified
that your taxes are now due. I have
the books at my office, 1712 Third ave
nue. Office hours, from 9 a. m. to 6
p. m.; Wednesday and Saturday even
ings from 7 to 8:30.
JOHN T. NOFTSKER,
Medicines that aid nature are al
ways most successful. Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy acts on this plan. It
loosens the cough, relieves the lungs
opens the secretions and aids nature
in restoring the system to a healthy
condition. Sold by all druggists.
will find that Nature responds
promptly to the gentle laxa
tive effects, and the helpful
tonic action of
away from him
"Then Tom got sick ag'ln and went
to a horscpiitlo and stayed there three
months. Now lie's got out of the
horsepittle and lookin' about for some-pin.-
I'm soiidm' this money to give
him a chanct. Tom's bis mother's pet,
and she lays awake nights worritin'
about him. I'm mighty fond cf the
boy myself somehow. lie was always
a smart little chap took lots of prizes
acd'things at schule.
"When he got old enough to work" I
wanted him to help me on the farm.
He tried it fnr awhile, but I see purty
quick be didn't take to it. He was
too smart to be con!'' 1 to follow a
plow same 's his fs: who didn't
never get no eddica'i.on. So I says
to him one day: "Tommy, reckon you'd
bettor go to the city and work that
a-way. This don't suit you.' He was
mighty well pleased at that. It al
most broke ma's heart to part with
him, but she knowed it was better for
him and let hltn go.
"Tom didn't like it in town so well
as he thought he -would. Leasts ways
he didn't stay long in the ' place he
went into. They must 'a' thought a
heap of him, though, for they ruised
his salary twice, so he wrote me. But
he got into a fight with one of the
head clerks end got himself discharged.
He said the head clerk accused him of
stealin' some money.
"Tom was alius on ambitious little
chap, and after leavln bis place he
concluded he'd go west and try and
do somepin big-, for ma and me agin
we got too old to work. So we scraped
up $500 and give It to him, and he"
At this moment a clerk laid the
farmer's draft on my desk, and the
first chapter of his story was finished,
for be began to count over his Foiled
and torn bills, now and again wetting
his thumb on his lip as he turned them
up. Then, leaving them to me and
carefully folding his draft, he put it in
his wallet, crammed the wallet down
Into the bottom of his pocket and
with a "Goodby, Mr. Cashier." left the
The second chapter of the story Is
very short. There is hardly enough In
it to make a chapter, but there is a
good dea.1 beneath the few words re
quired to tell it. A girl of eighteen
came to the bank, laid down ?24, near
ly all in silver coin, and asked for a
Graft to cover the amount.
"To whom will you have it made
payable?" I asked.
"Tom Williams," in a soft voice, al
most a whipper.
I ordered the dm ft mado out. and
the girl stood waiting. Unlike the
the girl stood waiting. Unlike the
farmer, she didn't tell all I would have
liked to know, so I asked:
"Is Tom Williams your brother?"
"No," she replied, looking down on
I had not liked the indications as to
Tom's character aa they appeared in
his father's account of him. and now
that money was going to him from his
sweetheart I began to despise him. I
banded the girl the draft and had a
good opportunity to study her, for she
never once looked up at me. She
went out with It bugsed up against
her heart, cs though she loved it be
cause she bad saved it for Tom.
My next visitor in behalf of Tom
was his mother. She stood by my
desk emptying on it from a carpetbag
a lot of bills and silver and copper
coins. Not knowing who 6he was, 1
asked what I should do with the
money, and she said, "Send it to Tom."
By this time I was not likely to forge
Tom and asked if she wished a drat"
for Thomas Williams. She said she
did. I turned her funds over to a
clerk to count, and lie reported hat
hey amounted to fG 13.47. I ordered
the draft to be made out, placed a
chair before the old lady and said,
with a view to iny enlightenment:
"Mr. Williams pretty busy nowa.
"No, pa ain't busy, no's sick. I
wiieh we had our boy here to help us.
He's out In Colorado perspectin'. He
says he's struck a miiie or a-goin' to
strike a mine or somepin nnd wants
norae money for grub stakln' or some
pin like that. We're sendin' him all
we kin jest now, but hope to send hitu
some more blme by. We had some
money saved up for old age. but we've
beeu a-drawin" on it for Tom, and this
is all there is left."
When she went out with her draft
I found myself boiling with Indigna
tion at this worthless scamp, who was
sucking the llfeblood out of his old
father and mother even his sweet
heart. There was a visit from the sweet
heart after this to ask for a draft of
$!S.oO, which convinced me that Tom
had accepted the last amount she had
sent him. Theu one day the old farm
er came in pale and trembling, evident
ly Just out of a sickbed, with the
check of a mortgage company for $1.
000. He asked for a draft in exchange
for it payable to this vampire of a son.
We bankers make it a rule to mind our
own business, but I had reached a
point where I could no longer refrain
from warning ttris poor old man.
"So you have mortgaged your farm
to send money to your son?" I said.
"Yes; Tom's In powerful need of
money. The mine he thought was
goln to turn out so fine petered out.
He says it closed up as he went down
instead of openin'."
"And you lost all the money you sent
him for the development?"
"Yes, we lost it," replied the old man
with a tremulous voice.
"Aren't you afraid you'll lose this
"I dunno. Tom's got another mine.
He says he's 6ure o' this."
"Of course it's no business of mine,
but I don't like to see you, an old man,
mortgaging your farm to send money"
to a son who should be giving you
money instead of you giving it to him.
Suppose you can't pay the interest on
the mortgage when it is due. You will
lose your farm."
The old man stood wiping his face
with a bandanna handkerchief, the pic
ture of misery.
"I knov what yer mean," he said,
"but ma Bbs won't keep back any
thing the boy wants. never did.
I always told ber she'd spoil hiin."
"I'm afraid she has spoiled him.
You should know that your son is cot
something like that and telling you
that he's on the verge of making a
fortune in a mine before risking any
more money on him."
, 'That's what I tell ma."
At this moment the draft was laid
before me. but instead of handing It
to him I said:
"Hadn't you better think this over?"
He stood, his eyes fixed on vacancy,
slowly swayins or tottering, and I
knew there was a great contest going
dn in his mind. Ilia love for his boy
"I'm 'bilged to you, Mr. Cashier, and
mebbe you're right, but I alius believ
ed in my Tom. and I can't go back on
I handed him the draft, and he scuf
fled slowly out of the bank.
The old man must have borrowed
all be could on his farm, considering
the transaction as a sale, for he failed
to pay the first interest that fell due
on the mortgage. I knew this, because
I saw in a newspaper a legal notice
of foreclosure proceedings on his
r "Tf nil tt T r.tV.a I 1 A - .L
paper, "the old man has given his
home to his reprobate son; he has
nothing more to give. 1 shall not suf
fer again at seeing him come Into the
bank to do what I can't prevent his
The same day I met the young girl
on the street whom I was sure was
Tom's sweetheart. 1 stopped her and
"Is Farmer Williams turned out of
house and home?"
"Not yet. sir."
"But he will be?"
"I suppose so."
"Has his son sent him anything to
"No, sir. He wrote to say that he
was awful sorry to see the farm go.
bu he could not help It."
"H'm. Do you think a son who will
treat his father and mother like that
would treat a wife any better?"
Tears came Into her eyes. I was
ashamed ot giving her this useless
pain. I walked on.
About a month after this a strapping
young fellow with a fine, manly face
enme into the bank and said he wished
to open an account. I assented, and
'ie made a deposit of $49,500.
"Will you please leave your signa
ture In this bock?" I said, ne took
up a pen and wrote:
"You Tom Williams?" I exclaimed.
"Yes. What do you know about
"Son of Farmer Williams?"
"Sold your mine?"
"Yes; I've gold a mine in Colorado,
or two-thirds of it. This money I'm
leaving with you is the first each pay
ment; there are two others of $50,000
"Has your father's farm gone to the
"No; I'm in time for that. I was
afraid I wouldn't be, though. Any
way, I'd have bought It back. If It
hadn't been for the money father sent
me I couldn't have carried the deal
through. I expected the farm to go
for the mine."
"And the young girl to whom we
gave drafts payable to your order?"
He colored and said: "It's In with
the rest, but she and I'll be one any
way. I shall transfer two-thirds of
this deposit to father. I took him
and mother in for thirds."
I went to see the old farmer and
his wife and found thenl Jubilant.- "I
told you I had confidence In my boy,"
the farmer said. "He was always
I attended Tom Williams wedding
and kissed the bride. I couldn't help
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets Invariably bring reliof to wo
men suffering from chronic consti
pation, headache, biliousness, dizzi
ness, sallowness of the skin and dys
pepsia. Sold by all druggists.
BRAZIL ITS RICHNESS
A New Book Setting Forth lis Politi
cal and Industrial Development
Few persons are aware of the extreme
richness of the United States of Brazil,
the largest and most important of the
South American republics, and to sup
ply full historical and industrial information,-
the government of that country
has had prepared a voluminous work in
two volumes which is shortly to make
its appearance in English.
In 1905, the Brazilian Minister of
Means, Transportation, Industry and
Public Works ordered the preparation of
this work, and it was accomplished after
three years' arduous labor under the di
rection of Dr. Vieira Souto, Professor
of the Polytechnic School of Rio de
Janiero, and at present Director of the
Mission of Economic Expansion with
oftkes in Taris, France. The work was
first published in Portuguese, then trans
lated into French, and has just been pre
pared afresh in English. It is in two
volumes of I.cco pages each, copiously
The work describes in detail the ex
traordinary rapidity with which iic po
litical and industrial development of
the country has gone forward, and
in the section devoted to the conquest
of the soil, it reads like a great ro
mance of adventure. The manner In
which Brazil has taken hold of and
solved her question of public healui
might serve as a lesson to the nations,
for she has qjiven out the yellow fever
scourge completely, bringing her mor
tality tables down far below those of any
European city. The Rio de Janeiro fig
ure now standing at 20 7, the European
average running to 26.8. 1
Within the space of 34 years the pop
ulation of Brazil has gone up from some
10,000,000 to over 22,000,000, an increase
of over one hundred per cent. In 1903,
her exports were 185 millions, and four
vears later had risen to 272 millions.
Every phe of industry has gone for
ward rapidly, and the great republic
with 150,000 square mile more territory
than the United States, is coming rap
idly to fhe front anion the ration?, fo'
her richness of resource is almost be
yond belief. The new book vill be ready
'or distribution within a few weeks.
2V SVACAA M. StJlTH
TTB Is a - clever man who ahvnyi
when It Is mining known where
to lay his hand upon au umbrella.
You might as well n;t think at nil a
to be afraid to say what jiu think.
Where are the pins of yesteryear?
The style ot
' some writers in
more stylish than
take out an acci
d e n t Insurance
policy before you
go out hunting
mau Is almost
certain to be a
pretty and senti
f 1 : 0
mental, but it is a
of good looks.
Churehgolng doesn't make very
many u:eu sleepy, as they skillfully
Many a man has kept himself from
losing money by never having any.
The people most to be pitied are
those who feel a responsibility and,
scorning to dodge, strive to respond.
Mr. Bull's Scare.
John Bull is almost Bcare.l to death
And fr-oling mighty bine.
He sputters am tie looks around
And drops tin h or two.
Th Germans are cor.structlne chips,
And when they rome to fipht.
As h Is certain that they will.
Ills Isle won't be so tight.
All the amusement that ha haa
Is being scared to death.
And th!s excitement leaves him atlff
And somewhat out of breath.
With la rye round eyes ha looks sheaf
Into the future dim.
And all he can observe Is just
The double cross for him.
It seems the cunning German rice
Has nwlped his copyright
On owning world supremacy
And all the ships In eight.
For every time he builds a boat
They build a boat to match.
And he la sure they're all designed.
To prey upon his patch.
It's mighty hard to spend an age
In getting to the front
And have an interloper coma
A-camping on the stunt.
To keep up with the race he fears
That he must pawn his shirt.
It's passing pad to see him rav
And cry before he's hurt.
He Has to Be if He Is Caught.
"What U a good listener anyway,
"A Kood liPtenerT
"Yes; you henr so much about one
being a gooo" listener."
"Oh, I see:'
"What you menn. A pood listener,
my dear, is any man thnt one of you
women pet in a corner."
Many of Him.
"lie Is an expert."
"Any" game where money can be
A Cas Diet.
The fire Is on tlio hearthstone.
The cat 1s on tho rug.
The butter's on the buckwhoat.
And the sirup's In the Jug.
The coffee's on the table.
The Faiisage on the plate.
And not a tlnplo sinner
Comes down to breakfast late.
JuRt tell me. can you beat It? "
ee everybody smile.
A good old fashioned breakfast
liases living worth the while.
Getting Off Cheap.
"Did you fpo the plumber?"
"No; I talked with him over the
"For iibont three minute?.'
"Good! The bill shouldn't be over a'
The Best Ever.
"What would you do for rheuma
tism?" "What would I do for rheumatism?"
"Not a thing. I would tell It to
chase itself or I would call the police."
A 8ad Couple.
"Ilave you a specialty?"
"What is it?"
"Making mistakes. What's yonnT
"Paying for. mistakes."
to keep up
"Some" people whistle
"Yes, and thnt's all tbey do."
"Well.' what else could tbey do?"
Z like to meet a pretty girl
And chat with her awhile,
To see the ehadowa in her eyes
And catch her pleasant smile.
But for a constant, steady pt
Bay. I am not a martyr yet-
Stubborn as Mules
are liver and bowels sometimes;
seem to balk without cause. Then
there's trouble loss of appetite. In
digestion, nervousness, despondency,
headache. But such troubles fly be
fore tt. King' Ke Life Pills, the
world's best stomach and Hver reme
dy. So easy. 25 cents at all druggist.