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THE ROCR ISUAND AHGtTS, SATURDAY, APRIL 2, 1910.
Published Dally and Weekly at lilt
Second avenue. Hock Island. XU. IEd
tered at the postomceae second-class
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dally. 10 cents per week.
Weekly. $1 per year In advance." .
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
.- have real nam attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
over fiotltloua signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
.township in Rock Island county.
Saturday, April 2, 1910.
Assessor John C. Auld.
Collector Leon N. Bourdeau.
Supervisor Andrew Math.
Assintant Supervisors Patrick
ljastaderD!?,el W" Schroeder Stephen
Justice of the Peace-
Dr. M. H. Fat-
Constable Mike Mints.
First Ward Arthur O. Huff.
Second Ward Carl A. Naab.
Third Ward William C. Maucker.
Fourth Ward -Charles L. Thompson.
Fifth Ward Clement P. McQuaid.
Sixth Ward James D. Davis,
j Seventh Ward James A. Campbell.
Vote the entire democratic ticket
- Vote for the tuberculosis sanitarium.
The interest Of humanity and of pub-
lie health demand it
Andrew Carnegie says the United
States is the greatest legislative body
in tne ,woria. Anay is not an ingrate.
An Ohio man has been arrested for
stealing two dices of bacon. He will,
of course, be tried under a charge of
We move, If It is in order, Mr.
Speaker, that the next time Kiug
Menelik is reported dead a detach- i
,ment of well armed marines be d is-
patched to verify the rumor.
Regardless of your politics, regard-
less of your sentiment in any proposi-
tlon (before the people, be a booster,
That is an issue on which -we can all
The democratic township . ticket is
composed of men of peculiar qualifica-
tions for the ofiices for which they
stand. It is a ticket, take it right
through, that deserves to win.
Dr. LePage of Brussels wants $20.-
000 for operating on King Leopold a
.few days before that monarch's death,
The fee is probably based upon the
conclusion that the operation was en
Prince Albert Honorius Karl, hither-
to the absolute ruler of Monaco, the
smallest state in Europe has vouch-
eafed his subjects a brand new con-
-stitutlon. In the rreateat free nation
. in the world, on the other hand, par-
ties are busily trying to make breaches
-Jn- its political constitution,
Everv democrats aldm-manir. oanrti-
date Is entitled to election next Tues-
dav. All are ren-reaentatlv men.
nominated hneanae of worth r.(s
omld mon? th men who i-nnr
them hit. A oleanwr Hat of aelecttrmi!
.for councilmen has not been placed
hofrtro th nortnla f th. TVcnoxh'm 1
- W W Ml ja V W hu-w a, VtIVVI.4 - I
Newsnaner readers will havA notice
that April 1 somebodv invariably loses
his wallet and the crowd is afraid to
pick it up, fearing a Joke. He retraces
hi steps, finds his roll and the laugh
is on the bystanders. Yesterday the
incident was staged at Joplin, Mo.,
which Is a very likely place for such
an Occurrence I
Journalism bows its head in sorrow
for the passing of R. W. Patterson,
editor of the Chicago Tribune. Reared
in the field of newspaper endeavor,
he was, one of the most talented as
well as experienced men in the pro
fession. His earnestness of purpose
no less than the vigor and ability so
characteristic of his career won him
the deserved respect and admiration
of his coworkers throughout ths coun
try and the world.
When prohibition becomes national,
the prtnctple.lnvolved will be accepted
as right and of logical force. .
When states become isolated from
each other prohibition will he mm a f-
fective in .the states adoptine It. TSpeaker Cannon has packed every im
When cities become Isolated it will
become effective in the cities nuttine
it in operation. -
Just how widespread In the course
of time will prohibition be accepted as
the only method of dealing with the
liquor traffic depends entirely upon
those engaged In the business.
21. "IT TTI I
T111nn1a a a flAnft r.n nf ilia Mnnfra I.
uie oucit 10 iu creation, prooaDiy.
j . . i. . i ., . . . i
reeognnea locality us recoraea
existence may oe nxea as Deginning
early in the 17th century. But it
was not until the 18th century, that
the land now called Illinois developed
any settlements that have existed as
such nntil recent years. Among
those Kaskaskla and Brownstown
and perhaps all of that century'g pro-
duction' have now passed away be-1
come obliterated from the map. Of
all the towns and cities now hording
a place on the map of the state.
Shawneetown enjoys the distinction
cf being the oldest. It was laid out
in lS08,and by 1818, when Illinois
was admitted .as a state, it was one
of the largest if not the largest town I
In Illinois. At one time It had a
population of 3,000, but a recent cen
sus is said to disclose the fact that it
contains noW 1,700.
Shawnee town, then as now, the
county seat of Oallatin county, was
in the early days the first stopping
place for immigrants to Illinois it
was the gateway from the south.
Three times has the place been de
stroyed by the mighty waters of the
Ohio, the last time being about 10
years ago. This old town was made
famous In 1822 by the visit of La
fayette.. It was in Shawneetown that
John A. Logan saw. his happiest days.
There he was married. General
James Henry Wilson, who claims the
honor of being the captor of Jeff
Davis, was also a Shawneetown boy,
and Colonel Bluford Wilson of
Springfield, his brother, also had his
start in life in that town. Bob Inger
soll opened his first law office in this
historic old own, and General John
A. McClernand also resided there be
fore the civil war. In which he dis
tinguished himself, and represented
the district embracing Shawneetown
in the federal congress. It was in
the Shawneetown schools where Z.
O. Judson, the famous writer of bor-
der storleS( under the name of Ned
tJunuine, nrsi learnea to wme.
Shawneetown in the event of a
deep waterway to the Mississippi
river may again become a growing
commercial city of the empire state
of the west as its history shows it
deserves to be.
Cannonism Defined for a Republican
Rock Island, April 1. Editor The
Argus: I would be pleased if you
would define the word Cannonism for
me. It is an expression that is con
stants arvnearinir in the newspapers.
but T noto that no one goes so far as
to attempt to show by cold facts that
r.anresm la a. bad thins for the
country. Please define Cannonism for
a REPUBLICAN READER.
Cannonism means government by
the special Interests. If "special in
terests" is too vague, we will put it in
another way, for it is far from our de-
sire to wish to handle the subject of
Cannonism vaguely. Cannonism means
government too much dictated by the
steel trust, the sugar trust, the har
vester trust, the lumbeT trust, the com-
bination of New England cotton man-
ufacturers, Standard Oil, the railroads
and the RockefelIer-Morgan-V all street
cannonism means mat wnen xne in
terests of the common people and the
interests of such corporations as those
indicated, come into conflict, the Epe-
cial interests get the legislation they
want and the common people get that
which they do not want. (See Payne-
Aldrich law for concrete Illustration.)
Boiled down, the term Cannonism
means legislation shaped and framed
less in accordance with the needs and
desires of the American people, and
more in accordance with the needs
and desires of those big interests
which donate liberally to campaign
funds or control state political ma-
chines. National needs, under Can-
nonism, are entirely secondary to
"Anything to build up tne party is
the cry bf the Cannonite. It Is typical
of the Cannon type or politician to re-
gard federal positions as tne legiti
mate prey of the party tnumpnant on
election day. "Work?" he ejaculates,
arter ce eis ms JOD m "asmus.
"I worked to get here! You don't ex-
P:t me to worn now mat l am nere i
Progressive legislation, under Cannon
sm, is a mym, oniy ni ior ue iu
stump campaign speeches, but party
solidarity UJ tiitti la eumciiiufc,
practical, a reamy, as n were
But where does "uncle Joe' come)
in? is asked. "Uncle Joe" Is merely
a part of a great machine. Fire is con
centrated on mm because nis position
&3 speaKer or tne nouse Keeps nini in
tn spouignt more man it aoea iu?
otner c-annons. xet ne is iuue more
l hlame for the work of the complete
machine than any one of those 155
raeniDerB wuo iu every provuL-Bi cuu
placed their approval on Cannonism
r"hen they VOte.d 'nt h Burleaoo
resolution which would have deprived
Canwon of the- speakership. Cannon
ism does not refer to one man; it re
fers to a system or policy which would
be as bad under any other name.
"Then you retract the charges that
have been made against the speaker
personally?" the republican reader is
no doubt asking. Not at all.
Uncle Joe" personally misuses the
power vested in him as epeaker to
block and chloroform proposed legis
lation desired by the people, and to
promote the passage of measures de-
manded by the campaign-contributing
It is the speaker's duty to appoint
all committees save the committee on
rules. It is a notorious fact that
portant committee or the nouse wun
men who have the came convictions
on particular legislation that must of
necessity come before them than he
Qas - ln this way the speaker wields
an enormous power, because he can
hlock or hurry the passage of any
legislation ne desires
All but nine of'the 21S republicans
" uuuv .wvvv. "ft"1"1'- "- '-iJuiu
I tion to unseat Uncle Joe. The milk
-.. . , . . ' . .
in tne cocoanut. tuererore is mat can
noni8m and the present republican
party are synonymous.
Safe and Sane Fourth.
a few days more than three
months must elapse- before the "Glorl-
ous Fourth," our great national holl-
day, which has become a day of
slaughter as well as a celebration of
American independence, will be with
us with all its noise and Jubilation,
Few object to the noise and Jubilation
they are all right, and "the more
the merrier;" but these, nevertheless,
should be -conducted , la a safe and
The record of casualties of late
years in the celebrations of the Fourth,
of July 1 appalling., The Journal of
the American Medical association has
prepared a table of Independence day
casualties jthat constitute a striking
commentary on the menace to life ana
limb Involved in our present method
of celebrating this most auspicious day
of the country's history. The casual
ties of the last seven years are placed
side by side with the deaths and In
juries that resulted from seven of the
most famous battles of the revolution.
Following is the table:
Battles. ' Wounded.
Lexington . 83
Bunker Hill 449
Fort Moultrie 37
White Plains , 100
Fort Washington ........ 140
Cowpens ... 72
July 4, 1903 4,449
July 4, 1904 4,169
July 4, 1905 5,176 j
July 4, 1906 5,468
July 4, 1907... 4,413
July 4, 1908 5.623
July 4, 1909 5,307
Just think of it! Nearly 35,000
killed and wounded the past seven
years through our present process of
celebrating the Fourth of July; or
32,000 more than" were killed and
wounded In seven of the principal
battles of the revolutionary war. And
yet, so used are we to the tragic tale
of the Fourth that the suggestive fig
ures set forth in the above table con
tain little in the way of surprise. As
the Terre Haute Star says, we become
accustomed to the belief that we must
pay a price for our patriotic ebulli
tions and that a certain proportion of
the eyes, fingers and limbs of Amer
ica's youthful population must be laid
on the altar of the country's liberties
once a year in order to give the occa
sion that degree of impressiveness
which a national consciousness Is in-
vi.utu LU ccuiu u. xiut jusi way n
jo jicvfscctry iu uuiu to Km ana maim
o.wv luuiviuuciis in oraer tnat our
victory over King George may be em
phasized forms a curious problem in
the processes of the human mind.
Verily, it would appear that the shade
of Ceorge has good reason to chuckle
when the scroll of annual' injury is
made up. George's red coats may not
have been able to whip us in 1776, but
the dangerous red giant firecracker
and the deadly toy pistol of 1910 are
worthy successors and do all that the
king's soldiers failed to do.
When the question is put to the
average citizen: "Do you favor a con
tinuance of the old fashioned Fourth?
he is very likely to 6hrug his shoulders
and say: "The children must have
their fling. That is the exact atti
tude of Mayor Gaynor of New York,
who, it is reported, has rescinded the
order of the fire commissioner Inter
dicting the sale of explosives around
the Fourth. The mayor consequently
assumes ths responsibility for all the
deaths and maiming, as well as the
destruction, of property that may re?
suit from the celebration of the glori
ous day in nis community. It certain
ly takes a brave man to do a thing like
Still here and there over the coun
try are indications that the old order
is to give way to a new and that there
is a possibility of having "lots of fun
on the Fourth without levying toll on
itne numan anatomy. Last year by
ordinance or the city council of Cleve
land, Ohio, the sale of fireworks and
their explosion within the limits of
the city were strictly forbidden. The
ordinance was enforced to the letter,
too. Result, not a single child or any
otner individual was Injured in the
city and the day passed with but one
or two fire alarms, which had no rela
tion to pyrotechnics
Yet, the older heads realized their
responsibility in thus rudely suppress
ing juvenile effusiveness and another
kind of entertainment was arranged.
There was a school parade on the
downtown streets. The little ones as-
sembled early in charge of their teach-
ers and carrying flags and singing
patriotic songs. The children were re
viewed by the mayor and other city
dignitaries. The fathers and mothers
of the children assembled by the thou
sands along the line of march; the
"kids" were delighted that they were
the cynosure of all eyes." It was
noon before the hungry children
reached home, and almost before they
knew it one-third of the anxious holi-
day was gone without disaster. Then
in the afternoon the little ones were
taken to the public parks, where there
was band music and balloon ascen
sions. At 6 o'clock there was a basket
luncheon on the grass and then when
darkness fell came the fireworks exhl-
bitlons In the hands of experts. By
9 p. m. the children were on their
way home; they had had a "good
time" all day long a "good time"
without a heartache and suffering ac
There is something rational In the I
Cleveland experiment. It, is bound to
be imitated. It is sure to grow - In
April 2 in American
1743 Thomas Jeffereon, tnird Dresf.
dent of the United States, born:
1801 General Albert Pike, lawver.
Confederate soldier, poet and a
prominent Freemason, died; born
l3"jy- - I
Every family and especially those
who reside In the country should be
provided at all times with a bottle
of Chamberlain s Liniment. There
Is no telling when it may be wanted
in case or an accident or emergency,
It la most excellent In all cases of
rheumatism, sprains and bruises.
Sold or all drugsiBt. I
JACKSON, MISS. The recent election of Leroy Percy to the United
States senate is clouded with scandal by the indictment of L. C. Du
laney. a Planter, on the charea of offering a hHh tr Qt. conn.
Theodore Bilbo - to vote for Percy. Bilbo was a supporter of Varda
man and sas he accepted part of the alleged bribe money to use it as evi
dence, and handed it to a minister with a statement f foto tv. ,i
umwren me election or rercy declare
i wuiuutu invesugauon nas been started by the grand lurv
The Argus Daily Short Story
Copyrighted. 1910. by
I was In the country for my health
and. as directed by my doctor, taking
long walks. At first I enjoyed my
constitutionals Immensely, but after
awhile longed for some one to enjoy
them with me. Then I thought that
If something would only happen to me
while rambling along over the country
roads it would relieve my ennui. A
footpad or a runaway horse would be
But one morning something hap
pened that was especially suited to my
taste. I started out before breakfast
for half an hour's exercise. I was
moving along at a four mile an hour
gait when, turning a bend In the road,
I came face to face with a young man
and a young woman. The man car
ried a small valise, while the girl held
a tight grip on a tiny bag.
"I beg pardon, sir," said the man,
"but does this road lead to O.?"
"Yes, but you must turn to the right
when you come to the first intersect
ing road. Then you turn to the left
at the next, cross a bridge"
'Are there any short cuts?"
'Yes. You can leave the road Just
above here and cross a field; then, hav
ing passed the bridge, there Is a wood
"One moment. Have you a heart?"
"A heart! Of course 1 have."
"Then I beseech you to help a palr
of lovers to escape from the persecu
' A trmiinlMl rontmntible. old
curmudgeon of a father?"
wn. Thu vounz ladv is the
ward of an uncie who to gain her
property for himself was to have sent
her today to a iUDatic asylum. 1 have-
Rnf. if a nnsr Kt0rv. .We must eo
on. Will you help us
"I should think so. I know the way
to the station. I'll pilot you and by
the shortest possible route."
"Oh, sir," exclaimed the girl, raising
her eyes to heaven as if to give thanks,
if you will do so you will save me
from a madhouse. I shall soon be mad
myself If I am shut up among those
creatures ! -
"Come on!" I cried.
"We have staked all on this flight,"
said the man as we hurried along,
"this young girl's liberty and her for
tune. The fortune was paid to her
guardian last night and was to have
been deposited in bank today. Oh. that
villain! But, with your kind help, we
shall outwit him."
Tve been there myself," I said.
"My wife had money her father "de
sired to control, and be acted a vil
lainous cart in the matter. To this
very day.I would like to throttle him.'
"What we fear," the man went on,
"is that the young lady's uncle will
get en our track, have what we are
carrying taken from us, and, once In
the meshes of the law, we may never
recover it. .
"But that Is nothing," moaned the
girl, "to being shut up In that dreadful
"Don't think of it, sweetheart," said
the man encouragingly. "With this
kind gentleman's assistance we shall
We were crossing ths field I had re-
t erred to when the man suddenly stop-
nmA mnA UmnA W ronld dtstlnctlv
hear the sound of a galloping horse
and rattle of wheels.
"Come on!" cried the lover. "We
must reach that wood before our pur-
suers come in sight of us.'
We hurried on, reached the edge of
the wood and crossed a bridge. Then
the man stopped again.
"Gwendolin, dear." he said, "I'll tell
yoa what we'll do. We'll hide the
tfce charge is without foundation. A
By A. B. Searle.
Associated Literary Press.
oonds and your jewels under this
bridge. No oue will know where they
are but us and this gentleman. I'm
sure we can trust him with the se
cret." "To be sure we can. I never saw a
more honest countenance," the girl re
joined. "But, Edgar, darling, I can't
bear to leave my Jewels 1 have here Id
my bag. Mother gave tbem to me on
her deathbed. I'd rather keep them
with me. Once on the train, I think I
can conceal them."
While this brief dialogue was in
progress the man dashed down under
the bridge and thrust his valise be
tween an abutment and the flooring;
then, rejoining us, we all went ou
through the wood.
"1 should think," I said to bim, "that
If they are after you they would head
you off at the station."
"I never thought of that," he re
plied, coming to a halt, then after a
"What do you advise?"
"Please help us," pleaded the girl.
"Do something to save me from that
awful madhouse. You are so much
cooler than either of us. So much de
pends on our getting away that we are
In no condition to think."
I became very much interested, not
only fj'oro sympathy, but from the
brain work involved in assisting thin
poor girl in making her escape. I al
ways loved intricate problems and
especially quick decisions.
"I am living." I said at a farm
house near by. I think you had better
come there with me and keep dark till
you are supposed to have got away.
1 think I can fix it so that your Iden
tity will not be known there, and to
night, unaer (it..i or the darkness,
you can walk to B. and take a train.
Possibly 1 may furnish you with dis
guises." "If you will do this." said the man,
"I'll bless you forever."
The girl seemed to be too much af
fected to speak. She impulsively seized
my hand and kissed it.
Fortunately for our concealment, the
wood we were In extended to within a
hundred yards of the farmhouse where
I was staying. I conducted the couple
to this rear point, and from there we
passed through a long arbor covered
with grapevines and entered the
house. I introduced them' to the fam
ily as friends of mine who had come
to the country and were looking for a
boarding place. I took them both up
to my room, where they would not be
seen If any one should call to look for
After a brief conversation apart be
tween the lovers the man came to me
and said that the girl.felt the delicacy
of her position and thought they should
be married. I concurred In this, for
1 thought that marriage under the
law would give him authority over hla
wife in precedence to her guardiau.
But on talking the matter over we all
concluded that to bring in a clergy
man at so critical a period might givs
the couple away. Indeed, they trem
bled during the day lest the family sin
the house, knowing of their presence,
might reveal it to their pursuers.
I kept tbem In my room, and only
once did they get a scare. A man
drove by In a buggy, stopped, and 1
heard him ask the farmer if be had
seen anything of two old men whom
be described. The farmer said he had
not, and the man in the buggy drove
on. . '
- When night came and the family in
the house bad gone to bed, I looked
nbout the house and. returning, in
formed the couple that the coast was
clear. Before . lea ving they both ex-
axalilu ta boa villi
tears in their eyes. The man begged
me to go to the bridge the next day.
secure the valise and bring it to my
room to keep for its owner till it should
be called for. I was flattered by the
confidence reposed in me and made
the desired promise. With ' this the
girl flung her arms around my neck
and kissed me. Then I put out the
light, and, all of ns moving on tiptoe,
I led them out into the starlight. They
started off in a direction away from
where we had been, la the morning.
Then I went upstairs to my room,
not only feeling that a fine breach bad
been made In the monotony of my life,
but that I had done what I could to
right a great wrong. I lay awake for
some time thinking of the pair pur
suing their way through the darkness
and sincerely hoped they would be so
far away, before morning that pursuit
would avail nothing.
For my walk the next morning I had
an object I would go to the bridge,
secure the valise hidden there, bring
it to my room and keep it locked In
my closet. There is something fasci
nating lu possessing snch a secret and
especially so in having a treasure com
mitted to one's keeping. I wondered
what was the value of the bonds to
which the man had referred. I resolv
ed to make an inventory of everything
the valise contained In order that there
should be no doubt about the exact
amount for which I was responsible.
I was rather glad the young girl had
held on to her Jewels. . There was a
trifle more responsibility even in the
bonds than I would, under less inter
esting circumstances, have cared to
On reaching the bridge 1 looked
about me and listened to make sure
no one was near to observe my move
ments, then went down and thrust
my arm back Into a pocket where I
had seen the man put the valise.
No valise was there! i
I confess I was somewhat surprised.
When they left me they had moved
away from the bridge. They must
have changed their minds and return
ed. Or had the treasure been discov
ered? Reluctantly I left the place and was
walking up the incline when I heard
Not having been used to this order,
I was gaping around to discover where
the voice came from when a bullet,
followed quickly by a report, sang
over my head. This admonished me
as to the meaning of the words. I put
my hands above my head-
A man with a drawn revolver ad
vanced from behind a tree and clap
ped a pair of handcuffs on me.
"Will you kindly Inform me, sir," I
asked, "what this means?"
"It means that you were looking for
the swag captured before daylight yes
terday 'mdrnlng in the th National
bank. I suppose some of your pals
have taken it."
"Do you mean to tell me, I ex
claimed, "that that eloping couple were
"I don't know what you mean by an
eloping couple, but two cracksmen dis
guised as old men were given the plun
der. They afterward changed their
disguise to represent a young man and
"Great heavens," I muttered to my
self, "was that creature who was too
virtuous to be goiDg about unmarried
with her lover a man?"
It was even so. I bad been harboring
two desperate criminals who had got
away with $40,000 in bank bills. As
to the "girl's" Jewels, they were a
myth. I spent several days in the care
of the police, but finally on proving my
respectability I wns released. The cou
ple I had harbored were later on cap
tured with the swag on them.
I returned to the city, having bad
quite enough of my doctor's method
for regaining my health. At any rate,
I did "ot care to try again.
Catarrh Cannot Be Cured
with local applications as they can
not reach the seat of disease. Ca
tarrh is a blood or constitutional dfs
ease, and in order to cure it you must
take internal remedies. Hall's Ca
tarrn Cure is taken Internally, and
acts directly on the blood and mu
cous surfaces. . Hall's Catarrh Cure
is not a quack medicine. It was pre
scribed by one of the best physicians
iu ihis country for years and is a
regular prescription. It is composed
of the best'tonics known, combined
with the best blood purifiers, acting
directly on the mucous surfaces. The
perfect combination of the two in
gredients is what produces such won
derful results in curing catarrh.
Sf.i d for testimonials free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Props ,
Fold by 'druggists, price 75c.
Take Hall's Family Pills for con
stipation. Prompt relief in all cases of throat
"" lung trouble If you use Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy. Pleasant to
take, soothing and healing In effect.
Sold by all druggists.
M. S. BANK
Fashionable Ladles Tailor
Spring Styles Ready
Now is the time to order
yonr Spring iniL Onr
garments are scientific
ally made by experienced
men tailors, and we guar
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satire satisfaction. Only
the 'very beat workman
ship, fabrics and findings
are used, and our gar
ments are guaranteed to
retain their shape. Care
fnl attention is gwen to
e-cure the correct and
proper shades and lines
for each individual cus
tomer. A trial order will
con vinos yoa of our ability
to please you in every par
tloular. Samples of fab
rics sent FREE on red nest.
11L S. BANS, Lcaics' Teller
Suite 2S 02 to SS State St., CUSeaao.
Cee. Mar" C. B-t.bll.fcae ISO.
Lm4 Olstaaaa Pfcana Catral 0O
X tiumor unci X
5 PWlpsophy I
SOON wo must putour,j!nklng- caps
TTnnn Jktis tnaafiaA Krtsi
And do soma heavy nti work.
Or much wa koow how;
We must alacP our ccn, rretsmnL
ThU summer la the dki
For picking pilots and tV crew
To men the ship of atatex
Tea. there are offering enough. '
Moat any man you meet
Would take It he were clvm a chance
A hls'h and lofty Boat.
It lan't that you have to search
Or sort of look about.
They coma In legions, and your task ''
Will be to aort them out.
The walthy and the ne'er-do-welV ;
The foolish and the wlae.
The witty and the dunce appear
To claim It la their alze.
Hen who may hardly know enoagfe
To dodge a summer rain
Come offering aa candidates
To grace the fail campaign.
It aeema so atraoge, bat men who
a failure or their Uvea.
Who cannot climb the buslneae aeeJe
Or muca Imprese their wires.
Think that aa makera of the laws
They would a record score.
Imagine they would brightly ahfne) '
When stateamen have the floor '
"Your temper Is hasty, say dear.
?Well, you are to blame for It
"I to blame?"
"I don't see how you make that out
"Aren't you always saying Hurry
Triumph ef Solenee.
"Here," said the professor, who was
selling bis wares on the street corner.
"Is a substance more powerful than .
radium, x ou can iook tnrottgn bncs:
wall with this."
"Give me a quarter's worth, seld m
nan In the audience.
"Here yoa are, sir."
"But .where are the direction sT
"Oh, they are simple. First bore a
hole In the wall and then rub this oa
Where She Falls.
"A woman can do anything Just as
well as a man."
"Do you think so 7
'"I know It"
"I don't sgree with you."
"Well, for example?"
"For example, she can't listen worth
a cent because she is always too busy
Oh, when the busy lawyer comes
With technical complaints
"Help! Help:'' the constitution cries
And very nearly faints.
Nothing to Practice On.
"Does your wife know how to util
ize the cheaper cuts of meat?"
"She used to."
"Has she forgotten howl"
"No, but she has made a discovery .
"What Is thstr
"That there sre no cheaper cuts any
Their Purpose. '
"Explanations are generally unpleas
ant" "Yes, but you must consider."
"That they are invented to do away
with things still more unpleasant."
No man knows anything about wo
man who thinks that be knows what
she won't do.
The worst thing about a nuteance is
that he so often makes a noise like a
A good deal that we attribute to our
good humor ought to be accredited to
the fact that we think our interest
may be subserved. '
A blind man can see the difference
between a bot dinner and a cold one.
Flattery Is the coin of diplomats
and the food of fools. ,
Getting the worst of It Is the result
of bad" luck when the Instance Is our
Wisdom crieth In the streets, and be
Is a bit of a diplomat who wipes her
A bird in the hand Is worth a dozen
j Look over the register to see who Is
l-ireveui uciun jvu ujaav m uj iuc iui
Tbe most gratifying quality that a
past can have Is tbe ability to stay
The new spring millinery makes fa
ther wish that something just as good
would do mother and tbe girls.
'Anyway, a good flar has a more com
fortable time, on the whole, than the
nher fellow doe.
Tour tongue is coated.
Your breath is foul.
Headaches come and go
These symptoms show that youi
stomach is the trouble. To removi
tbe cause is the first thing and Cham
lerlan'8 Stomach pad Liver Tablets
will do that. Easy to &fc and most
effective. Sold by all druggists.