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THE ROCK ISLAND ARGUS, TUESDAY. APRIL' 5, 1910.
i THE ARGUS.
Published bally and Weekly at 1814
,'Iecond avenue, Rock. Island. UL IBn
jered at the poatomce aa second-class
? batter. J
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
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.... i , i-:
g TRADES lHi7l COtJNCtl
Tuesday, April 5, 1910.
V ' DEMOCRATIC If OMCTATIONS.
Assessor John C. Auld.
- Collector Leon N. Bourdeau.
Supervisor Andrew Math.
; Assistant 'Supervisors Patrick F.
" tTarrell, Daniel W.- Schroeder, Stephen
: J. Btader, Br.
C Justioe of the Peace Dr. M. H. Pat
n. Constable Mike Mintz.
First Ward Arthur O. Huff.
Second Ward Carl A. Naab.
Third Ward William C. Maucker.
' Fourth Ward Charles L. Thompson.
r Fifth Ward Clement P. McQuaid.
Sixth Ward James D. Davis.
Seventh Ward James A. Campbell.
Really looks as if It was
Regardless of the result, let's all get
together and boost.
The election is practically over.
Kow for something else.
The disappearance of 2,000
watches in New York suggests the
thief of time.
The probe committee is divided on
Ballinger. In division Ballinger sees
Secretary Ballinger will make about
as much a success of attempting to
muzzle the press as some other illus
trious members of his party.
Women's Effort to Elevate the
Women are rallying to raise the dra
ma in the United States by systematic
encouragement under the banners of
the new Drama club which now has
members representing 165 women's
clubs of Chicago and vicinity. It is the
hope that before long the organization
will be national in scope, with a largo
central organization, with local chap
ters in every city and town in the
country. The main work at first will
be the arrangement of study programs
for the local chapters and the sending
out of advice and Information to all
" Mrs. A. Starr Best, chairman of tho
organization meeting, says that the im
provement of the stage is a matter of
educating the public "However much
we may dislike to admit it," she says
the stage at present is on a strictly
commercial basis, and seems likely to
continue so. We can improve condi
tions only by educating the public de
mand. The manager of the theatre ba3
only the box office by which to feel
the public pulse. The great public
accepts and tries to enjoy what is
given . It. If all the women's clubs of
the country were pledged to support
. good plays and to the reading of plays,
outside the theatre, studying them
carefully for their structure and their
literary value, there would be a mark
ed difference in the character of plays
presented on the stage. Dramatic con
ditlons in America are far worse than
In other countries. It is time the wo
men rallied to the relief of the coun
try's stage. We should appreciate the
power for good which the drama pos
sesses, but we should also be keenly
alive to the danger inherent in the
powerful influence of the stage on the
public if that influence Is not ennobling
and uplifting. Concerted effort through
the country will be a great aid In elim
inating the objectionable from our
' Dogs on Exhibition.
i Tine nhova Vi a ro hcor olrl roTit.
Iy in St. Louis and Chicago, and have
been a great success. In the east
they are the big society events and
are growing in popularity In that re
spect in the west.
There are few people who, at some
time or another, have not possessed
or had in the family some sort of a
dog and formed" an attachment for it
which, when severed, caused deep
grief. It made little difference wheth
er the dog was a mastiff, Newfound
land, chow chow, Dalmatian, Chicua
hua. Basset hound,-Manchester ter
rier, griffin, harrier, great dane,
cocker spaniel, sky terrier, boxer,
Mexican hairless, papillion, Scotch
collie, bull, terrier, bull, pug or
poodle, ' the affection was all the
eame, and in most instances a poor,
lonesome outcast of a common cur
can evoke great sympathy and at
tachment because of its friendship
One never really tires of reading
Senator Vest's famous tribute to a
dog. It Is appropriate at this time.
.Vest was attending court in a coun
try town and while waiting for the
trial of a case in which he was in
terested, was urged by the attorneys
In a dog case to help them. Volum
inous evidence was Introduced to
show that the defendant had shot
the dog in malfwe, while other evi
dence went to sImiw that the dog had
attacked defendant. VeBt took no
part In the trial, and was not dis
posed to speak. The attorneys, how
ever, urged him to speak.' Being
jthus . urged . he arose scanned thej.
face of each jurymen for a moment.
and said: :
"Gentlemen of the Jury: The best
friend a man has In the world may
turn against him and become his ene
my. His son or daughter that he has
reared with loving care- may prove
ungrateful. Those who are nearest
and dearest to us, those whom we
trust with our happiness and our
good name, may become traitors to
their faith. The money that a man
has he may lose. It files away from
him, perhaps when he needs it most.
A man's reputation may-be sacrificed
in a moment of ill-considered action.
The people who are prone to fall on
their knees to do ub honor when suc
cess is 'with us, may be the first to
throw the stone of malice when fail
ure settles its cloud upon our heads.
The one absolutely unselfish friend
that man can have in this selfish
world, the one that never deserts
him, the one that never proves un
grateful or treacherous, is his dog.
A man's dog stands by him In pros
perity and poverty, in health and in
sickness. He will sleep on the cold
ground, where the wintry winds
blow and the 6now drives fiercely, If
only he may be near his master's
side. He will kiss the hand that' has
no fcod to offer; he will lick the
wounds and sores that come in en
counter with the roughness of the
world. He guards the sleep of his
pauper master as if he were a
"When all other friends desert he
remains. When riches take wings
and reputation falls to pieces he Is
as constant in his love as the sun in
Its Journey through the heavens. If
fortune drives the master forth an
outcast in the world, friendless and
homeless, the faithful dog asks no
higher privilege than that of accom
panying him, to guard against dan
ger, to fight against his enemies. And
when the last scene of all comes, an 3
deattt takes the master in its em
brace, and his body Is laid away in
the cold ground, no matter if all
other friends pursue their way, ;here
by the graveside will the noble dcg
be found, his head between his paws,
his eyes sad. but open in alert watch
fulness, faithful and true t-ven in
. Then Vest sat down. He had spok
en in a low voice, without a R.sture.
He made no reference to the evi
dence or the merits of the case. When
he finished the judge and jury were
wiping their eyes. The jury filed
out, but soon returned with a ver
dict of $500 for the plaintiff whose
dog was shot; and it was said that
some of the jurors wanted to hang
PLEASED AT CANNON'S FALL
Anti-Saloon League Expects Federal
Aid in Fight on Liquor.
Atlanta, Ga, April 5. The Anti-Saloon
leaguers are crowing over the
"downfall" of Speaker Cannon. The re
sult of the recent fight against Speaker
Cannon in the house means, they de
clare, a stumbling block out of the way
E. N. Foss, Democrat, Tells How, He
Won Seat in Congress in Massachusetts
BY EUGENE N. FOSS, M. C.
Note. As democratic candidate for
congress in tne recent tourtwntn Mas
saehusftts district election. Mr. Foss
chartered a republican majority of 14,250
In 19oS into a democratic majority of
Boston, Mass., April 2. The fight in
the Fourteenth district was made on
national issues and the verdict of the
people can only be regarded as a re
volt against the administration in
It is now asserted that the person
ality of the candidates played a large
part in the result. The truth is there
never has been a campaign so free
I did not win the fight. The
platform on which I stood; the
issues which were presented to
the people; a widespread determina
tion to express dissatisfaction with ex
isting conditions, all contributed to
win the fight for me. It was not until
the polls were closed, the ballots count
ed and a remarkable and emphatic
vote of lack of confidence registered
that we heard the suggestion that my
own popularity and the unpopularity of
my opponent were responsible for the
In order that I may effectively dls
pore of the post mortem assertions
that the contest was local to the Four
teenth district and could not in any
way have a bearing on congressional
elections In other sections of the coun
try, let me outline the platform on
which I stood from the moment of my
nomination until the polls closed.
Briefly, it was as follows:
Free raw materials for our Indus
tries. Untaxed food supplies for our peo
ple. Lower duties on the necessaries of
An income tax, that a large part of
the burden of the dost of government
may fall on those best . able to
bear it. s
Reciprocity with Canada and our
Repeal of Beet ion 2 of the Aldrlch
act that forces tariff wars and retalia
tion. Direct nominations.
j VVU UVi T 4W1U44 VUA A- HbUl 0
This platform la in no manner local
trict It Involves Issues which will bo
presented to the voters In every sec
tion of the United States this fall.
The platform on which I made my
campaign Is not a new one with me.
It Is practically the same thc I urged
years ago.- It has broadened some
what in the course of events, but the
changes have not been, important. It
would be better to say, perhans, that
in the fight for -federal legislation fa
vorable to the prohibition movement.
This view is presented In a confer
ence . of the Southern Anti-Saloon
league by Dr. B. A. Baker, superintend
ent of the national organization. In
his address he said :
"I fully believe that under the pres
ent conditions the bill regulating the
movement of liquor in interstate com
merce will pass both houses and be
come a law." .
April 5 in American
1793 Thaddeus Stevens, statesman,
born; died 1868.
1841 William Henry Harrison, ninth
president of the United States,
died; born 1773.
1865 President Lincoln entered Rich
mond; sequence of the fall of Pe
tersburg. 1879 Mme. Patterson-Bonaparte, at
"one time wife of Jerome, Napole
on's youngest brother, died; born
1883 Peter Cooper, philanthropist,
founder of Cooper institute, in
New York, died; born 1791.
1906 General Blanco, last captain sen
era! of Cuba, died; born 1832.
SCHOOLS ARE HIT
Supreme Court Decides They Are En
gaged in Interstate Com
merce. Washington, April 5. Among oth
ed decisions by the United States su
preme court yesterday, that body
held that the business of a corre
spondence school, with pupils In various-states,
was Interstate commerce,
and upheld an act of Arkansas pro
hibiting the drumming up of business
by physicians and hotel keepers on
trains in that state.
The court was divided on the
question of whether the penalty for
violation of the 28-hour law for the
shipment of live stock shall be as
sessed on the separate shipment, as
urged by the government, or on the
train load, as a unit, as contended
for by the Baltimore & Ohio South
western railroad and will hear new
arguments in the case next August.
The court decided the case of the
Southwestern Oil company against
the state of Texas In favor of the
state, thus upholding the constitu
tionality of the Texas law, - which
fixes a tax of 2 per cent on the gross
receipts from the sale of oil, nap
Auto ir Tree Top; Man Dead.
San Jose, Cal., April 5. John Anson
Howard, said to be the son of an Ot
tawa millionaire, was killed Sunday
when an automobile which he was
driving plunged from a mountain road
16 miles from Delmonte and lodged
in the top of a tree.
the platform has developed rather than
changed. I offered this platform to the
republican platform and it was re
My campaign lasted Just' one week
That was a mighty short time In which
to work up personal sentiment, which
my friends say elected me. Just watch
the next congressional campaign and
see how many other men will be elect
ed on "platforms like mine.
THOMAS B. JEFFREY DEAD
Inventor of Pneumatic Clincher Tire
Passes at Pompeii, Italy.
Kenosha, Wis., .April 5. Thomas
Buckley Jeffrey, Inventor of the clinch
er pneumatic tire and head of the
Thomas B. Jeffrey company, automo
bile makers, is dead at Pompeii, Italy,
having died Saturday at midnight, ac
cording to a dispatch received here,
The millionaire ' was touring Europe
with his wife.
' Frail Women
So many women are dragging out
weary lives just because their diges
tive organs are weak. The result is
poor circulation, nervousness and the
verge of invalidism. It is often very
unnecessary ana the woman own
The first thin to do la to look to the
welfare of your bowels. There the troa-
ueuany uea. All physicians know
Uiat a larsra twmsntim nt
habitually constipated, and from this re
sults Indignation, plies, weariness, eta.
But there la no use taking- "female rem-
tutu wuuiea consunnv Mmnain
cuica una uuop vi mat Kind until you
"uim luur nowni Q moving".
Too will and that when h hnia
regularly once or twice a day ail your
petty Uls wlU disappear. Take a rood,
jnua laxative tome nice Dr. Caldwell's
Syrup Pepsin for awhile and you will
find yourself rapidly getting better and
eiruugw, yuur iwwiu win regulate tflem
selves and work at stated times, and
then your headaches and dlsslnees will
disappear.' Don't take strong- cathartic
pills or salts, -but just each a mild and
pleasant-tasting remedy aa Dr. Caldwell's
You can obtain a bottle of to or drue
gist for fifty cents or one dollar, and
either else may be enough to perma
nently cure yon. Thousands of women
keep It regularly In the house and wOl
no longer be without it. as It cured tham
and can be used with safety by every
member of the family, down to the
youngest child, but If yon bare sever
used it take the advice of lira. Earl 8.
Cox, 409 Twenty-fifth street, Moltne, m..
. niu iu ur. utiowcu ior a tree inai Dot
tie. as thev didL and Iarn Tn
what it win do in year own ease. That
It win cure yon. as It did them, there la
Dr. Caldwell personally will be pleased
to give yoa any medical advice yon may
letter and he win reply te yon in detail.
For the free sample simply sand your
nama and address on a postal card or
otherwise. For either request the doctor's
address is Dr. W. B. CaldweiL B.60SCald
" i " - i ' ' s v - .
f' . J, ttC" v, 4 V.
y i rf -v JL '
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THOMAS Lk LEWIS, president of the United Mine Workers, la confident
that the strike of miners In .the bituminous coal fields will result In
a victory for the men within 30 days, except, possibly In Illinois and
- western Pennsylvania.- In Iowa, Western Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio and
central Pennsylvania the operators show a disposition to grant the de -panda
of the miners tor higher wages. Mr. Lewis, whose policy la not ,
supported by all the leaders In the various fields, la busy man these '
days, hurrying from state to state, encouraging the strikers to remain
steadfast and not sign scales until their demands are granted,
The Argus Daily Short Story
A Deception By Sarah J. Atwater.
Copyrighted, me, by Associated Literary Free.
The center of art In Europe Is Flor
ence. The town is always full of
Americans, and there are usually
American art students there. One day
an American girl, in rich apparel,
while gazing at the paintings hung in
the Pitti palace In that artistic city
stopped at the easel of a copyist a
girl about her own age who was espy
ing a Titian, admired her work and
entered into conversation with her.
The artist was a Miss May Monroe of
St Louis, the other Miss Margaret De
Forest of New York. The acquaint
ance thus begun was continued, and
In time Miss De Forest engaged Miss
Monroe to paint her portrait
"I am colng to take you Into my con
fidence." said Miss De Forest to Miss
Monroe one day while sitting for the
picture, "and ask you to do me a favor.
I possess an immense fortune and
have come abroad for the purpose of
meeting a suitor who has never seen
me. Mutual friends have made an ar
rangement by which Count Desmond
de TAmoureux. descended from one
of the oldest families in France, is to
visit me, and if we are both agreed
we are to marry. I am not to be taken
In by any adventurer and have inves
tigated the count's position thoroughly,
lie possesses valuable estates which
with my fortune wonld enable ns to
take a very prominent position in Eu
"But 1 Will marry no man who does
not love me. My wish is that you
shall Impersonate me to the count I
Impersonating you, a protegee of my
real self. If 1 like him I will endeavor
to win him away from you. In that
way I shall know that he loves me for
"That would make a very pretty ro
mance," said Miss Monroe.
"Unless you fall In love with him
"No fear of that I'm engaged to
"Tes: to a young American, a strug
gling artist like myself."
"That is fortunate. We can take
him Into the secret and. forming a
party of four, go about together, thus
enabling me to carry out my plan."
"And enjoy ourselves as well."
Count Desmond de TAmonreux ar
rived and was introduced to the two
girls, they occupying reversed posi
tions. BernardWrlght was Introduced
to the count as the fiance cf the real
Margaret De Forest The four visited
together the galleries, the mediaeval
buildings and the environs of Florence,
enjoying every moment The party
filled a carriage, and many were the
drives tbey took over the beautiful
hills aad dales about the city In the
delicious Florentine sunshine.
Tonng Wright, devoted to his art
and, with the usual artistic tempera
ment, careless as to material posses
sions, entered upon bis part of the de
ception reluctantly and merely te
please Miss Menroe. He paid his de
voirs perfunctorily to the heiress, but
was by no means bored at doing so.
Bis real mistress was his brush. Miss
Monroe seemed to enjoy Immensely
personating an heiress and was very
patronising to the real Miss De Forest
Count de I'Amoureux was evidently
from the first very much pleased with
the girl whom he supposed to be Miss
De Forest and Miss Monroe knew
with a woman's quick Intuition that
It was not interest alone that moved
Miss De Forest soon began to prac
tice artful means to draw the noble
man away from her substitute. Mar
garet was an attractive girl and knew
how to win a man. Nevertheless the
count was constant to May. One day
while sitting with her on the Piazza
Michelangelo, a hill overlooking the
city and the Arno flowing through its
quayed banks and under its old fash
ioned bridges, be said:
"Where did yon pick op your pro
"I met her here In Florence. Sbe'a
a lovely girl."
"H'm! I don't faacy her."
Miss Monroe laughed.
"Why are you merry?" asked the
"I was thinking, supposing I were
to turn over my fortune -to her, how
long would It be before you wonld
transfer your attentions from me to
"I will grant that there was a time
when I might have done this, when we
first met though I fancied you In pref
erence Immediately. But now that I
have known you a transfer would be
"Suppose yoa try."
"Try! What do you mean?"
"I think May cares for you. Before
entering upon any contract to become
your wife 2 should prefer that yon
remain for a time under her Influence.
She and I are bosom friends and shall
always be much together. I don't care
to have an affair between my husband
and my friend. I prefer to trust bis
constancy before marriage."
"But you must have seen that Miss
Monroe bas not been averse to my
attentions and that I have not given
"Devote yourself to her for two
"It would seem an age."
Miss Monroe flatly refused -to ex
cuse her suitor from the test and be
finally consented, the period being re
duced from two weeks to two days.
He attempted to make a beginning the
next afternoon when the four were
walking together In the Pltti gardens.
He Joined Miss De Forest
. She turned away frem him.
Now, It Is not pleasing to the amour
propre of a nobleman who has de
scended from one of the proudest
houses In France to be snubbed by an
American girl of ordinary lineage, and
a protegee at that The count was
furious. He regretted that be had
not accepted the two weeks period of
trial offered, since It would give him
time to teach this young woman whom
he did not like that she could not with
impunity turn away an attention from
the Count de I'Amoureux. He found
himself In an equivocal position. Miss
Monroe bad not seen the snub be bad
received, and be was too proud to
confess It to her. And yet for two
days be was expected to devote him
self to the girl who wonld not accept
bis attentions. What was to be done?
He begged Miss Monroe to let him off
from the balance of his trial on the
ground that It was obnoxious to him.
She refused. He passed a weary time
Mil the period bad passed nursing his
wrath. Then the lady who had snub
bed him relented.
The temptation to give her a bit of
punishment was too great for the count
to resist A little side play from this
time went on all the while which Miss
Monroe was not supposed to notice.
The count was really making love to
Misa De" Forest with a view, to tossing
ber away when he should have won, In
the game. It was not long before be
discovered tho&tbe protegee was a girl
of superior Judgment end. endowments
to the one whom be believed It was te .
bis interest to marry. About the time I
he bad made up his mind to this MKS
De Forest began to court tne attention
of Bernard Wright Young Wright
did not appear to be especially desirous
to give It but this did not make any
difference to the count. He saw that
'the girl preferred another to himself.
The pique he felt he attributed to the
danger of losing his revenge.
The spring was fading into summer.
and yet the count was not engaged.
Indeed, he was beginning to think that
he would go back to France to remain.
for a time at least, a bachelor. The
lady to whom he was devoting him
self openly bad Intimated ber willing
ness to accept him, but be did not pro
pose. The lady whom he was endeav
oring to punish was punishing him,
There were times when he was tempt
ed to commit the ' folly of throwing
himself, his position and bis name
away on her that is, if she would ac
cept him, a matter of which be could
not form any opinion.
One evening he was standing on that
old bridge, the Ponte Vecchlo, looking
over the Arno to the westward. The
sun had set but the day lingered. The
placid river reflected the houses and
the quays, bordered by a long chain of
lights on either side. The old stone
bridges were reflected, too, the reflec
tion of one appearing under the one
next beyond, the stone and the Image
together forming a circle. The noble
man was thinking of tbe American
protegee. Suddenly a soft voice behind
He turned and saw Margaret
"Where did yoa come from?" he
-Visiting the palace of the king.
am on my way to the hoteL Isn't It a
"And to think kat I must leave It!
I go tomorrow."
"Yes; I am called home to America.
"Then if I mast part from yea this
Is a lit scene to remember as the last
we saw together In this unique city.
She rested her arms on the stone
coping, and they looked at the beauti
ful sight together. Presently he said:
"I, too, go tomorrow.''
Yes; I return te France.
"No; I came with a view to enhance
my position by a favorable marriage.
X have given that up."
"Because I hare beea turned from
Wright and Miss Monroe came up as
he spoke the last words. The four en
Joyed the view for awhile, then walk
ed oa together.
The next morning the count left
Florence by an early train and Miss
De Forest by a later one.
The count west to Paris, where at
a hotel overlooking the garden of the
Tuflerles he strove to turn from his
mind the girl with whom he had part
ed on the Ponte Vecchlo in Florence.
Hoping for better success at bis heme,
he was about to take a train when he
received a card on one side of which
was the name "Margaret De Forest
and on the other: "I am about to start
for America. Should be pleased to see
yon once more before -I go. Call this
L'Amoureux hesitated whether to ex
cuse himself or to accept A desire
to see one connected with May Mon
roe in so many pleasant rambles con
quered, and he determined to aocept
The lady who entered the reception
room surprised him.
"Why," he said, "I received Miss De
"I sent yoa Miss De Forest's card."
"Because I am Miss, De Forest"
Tbe count stood stupefied.
She told him the story of the decep
tion. A Frenchman, he could not un
derstand the ways ef a Yankee wo
man, but bis delight at the denouement
of the Utile comedy in which he had
played the fool was unbounded.
"And now." he said, "we will begin
what we meant to begin In Florence."
Every family and especially those
who reside In the country should be
provided at all times with a bottle
of Chamberlain's Liniment There
Is no telling when It may be wanted
in case of an accident or emergency.
It Is most excellent In all cases of
rheumatism, sprains and bruises.
Sold by -all druggists.
Is a delightful place to visit
It Is bright and sunshiny, all
of the time, and the mountain
atmosphere clear and brac
ing adds zest to your out-
For Good Service
to Colorado ro rfr.
Rock Island Lines
Your trip will be one of su
preme delight and you arrive
at a convenient hour, fit and
ready to enjoy your outing to
the full. Full information
and descriptive literature to
be had for the asking.
S. F. Boyd,
Dir. Pass. Agt,
F. 1L plummer,
C. P. Agent
1829 Second J.T.,
I stand. "
j Humor . and ;
) XV HfCAJ M. SMITH J
OLD FRIENDS DEPARTING.
fpHE ancient Jokes are passing
Befora the modern ways.
We do not meet at every turn
Before our startled graze
The old familiar stovepipe quip.
As In the 2ays of old;
The cruel furnace drove It out
Into the winter cold.
Once we were tickled half to death
When mere man bent his back
And wrestled with his might and mala
To best the carpet tack.
But now no longer must he puff
And at the carpet tug-.
That Joke went out when we breent ta
- Tbe brand new parlor rue
This tains of sitting- en the stile
And razing at the moon
No longer serves for rhymes or Jest
Or some romantlo tune.
Barb wire fences fill the land.
And now when levers meet
They look around till tbey dlsoern
A more prosete seat.
Thus with the changing modes ef ttfe
Departs the ancient Jeal.
It aleepa In a forgotten grave
And gets a needed , rest. - ' r
Each ene Is softly laid away ''
By some Inventive stroke.
Pneumatic cleaners soon wtU knl
The old hons soles nine Joke.
no Idea of theal
no ef money."
"I ' should say
"I gave tnywlCe
919 this mora tag,
and what de yon
suppose she did
"Paid a bl Rke
what sbe did. ire
an jvu not uiiiu ol ourzjaro i
T should be if I lived tn-eoch aa ex
"Bntytm see we ere always a weO
"My wife can shoot so fierce
glance that It will transfix the stanch
est burglar as by a steel dart and
cause him to vacate at once.
Putting One Over en Them.
"I hear that Wllklns la doing trig
things this spring.
Ts that sor
"Engineering some big dealt" '
"Well, no; not that"
"Got a graft In the ell and coal
. To Catoh Her Ear,
Be stm. my heart for that Is she
A beauty, aa you must agree
As slowly down the path she walkn.
Be stm, my heart for money talks.
"What de yoa think of this agita
tion against tne hatpin ?"
"It is ell wrong."
"What Is the matter with ttr
"Tbe constitution says the right to
bear arms shall net be infringed oa."
Knew Hfe Worth.
"Do be polite.".
"Certainly, if yoa-desire It, trotf '
"If I do all the ether girts will fall
In love with me.-"
PERT PARAGRAPHS, -
The man who knows a lot that yen
ought to know is the most pestiferous
thing oa the face of the earth. He 1
so sure that you'll ; die unless be lav
parts bis Information to j ou that be
comes dose to losing his life ba-eon-
Keep practicing on your patience. It
is a good thing to 'have it in working
order, for yoa are. certain ie-have -se
Don't hurry so fast that yoa get
there the day before tbe show begins
and have your ticket-declared invalid'
by a grouchy doorkeeper.
The worst of It is that every by
4 person that chances to come year
way thinks himself licensed to give
you advice on things that yea have
worn out more gray matter on than
bis family ever had.
There are some persons se very
methodical and tbrifty that tbey nev
er by any chance let their grouches
get out ef order.
Some enterprising milliner should be
ready with a new model of comet hat
when the season to spring it arrives.
A woman's Idea of having a good
rest consists in sitting down and figur
ing out how she can buy a hundred)
dollar outfit with a fifty dollar bill.
One way to benefit the human race
would be to give each member a
chance to And out that be or she is
human. '' '
The people who have aeroplanes will
rertalnly feel like looking down oo
tbe rest of ns.
Don't make other people's troubles
four own. it is too taa to roD tnen
when they are so perturled.
Tour tongue Is coated. "
Tour breath Is fouL
Headaches come g.
These symaeaa) snow that youi
stonjach W tbe trouble. To removi
tV. cause Is the first thing and Cham
berlain's Stomach and Liver Tablett
will do that. Easy to take and most
Sold by all druggists.