Newspaper Page Text
THE HOCK ISLAND ARGUS. TUESDAY, MAY 31, 1910.
Published Dally and Weekly at 16Z
Second avenue. Rock Island. XU. En
tered at the postofflce as second-class
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dally. 10 cents per week.
.Weekly. St per year In advance.
All communications of argumentative
tharacter. political or religious, must
have real name attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited 'from every
township in Rock Island county.
TRADES COUNOL 29
Tuesday, May 31, 1910.
The calendars promise the opening
of the summer season tomorrow, any
way. Colonel Roosevelt is resting for a
strenuous welcome homeland he will
be dreadfully disappointed if he does
not get it.
The republicans didn't revise the
tariff downward, but no one will deny
that the tariff has revised the republi
can ranks downward.
"The Payne-Aldrich tariff bill is only
a scheme to rob the poo'ple and to in
crease the holdings of the gigantic
syndicates.'" Jonathan P. Dolliver, re
publican senator from Iowa.
There's no occasion for jingoism
over the misfortune to the I'nited
States dry dock Dewey in the Philip
pines. We do not wish to hear any
war cries about "Remember the
President Taft has used up all of
his 1910 traveling expense fund, and
still hasnot been successful in satisfy
ing the American peorle that the high
cost of living and the Payne tariff are
There are a great many swollen for
tunes in this country, ' but investiga-'
tion will show that very few of them
can be traced back to the Belgian hare
craze that caught so many hopeful
ones a dozen years ago.
Lord Kitchener, England's big gen
eral, knows what good soldiering is,
and having seen West Point, he gives
high praise to the military academy
as one of the best of training schools.
And American history shows his judg
ment is correct.
Now that one educational institution
has demonstrated that a cigar can be
made to afford a continuous smoke for
one hour and twenty-five minutes, an
other should institute scientific tests
of the maximum duration of a schoon
er of beer. Thus original research
will bring light into the great issues
of every-day life.
Is Surely Wrong.
Under the Payne-Aldrich law,those
most able to pay a tariff tax get off
Your wife or daughter who buys a
woolen or worsted cloth for a dress
pays $0.40 for pattern that cost $4
abroad, or a tariff tax of 135 per cent,
while the rich man's wife or daughter
is only requireJ-'to pay a tariff tax of
60 per cent on the imported siik dress
The steel buttons on the working
man's trousers carry a' duty of 126. SS
per cent, while milady's ivory buttons
pay but 57.40 per cent.
The cheapest blankets, found in the
homes of the laborer. carry lax of
107 per cent, while the fine blankets
used on the beds of the captains of
finance only pay 71 per cent.
. High priced woolen carpets used by
the wealthy carry a tariff tax of but
50 per cent, whila the carpets used for
mats, rugs, etc., which are found in
the homes of the common people, are
taxed 122. SS per cent.
Hats and bonnets costing $5 or less
per dozen are taxed C2 per cent, while
those costing fnore than $20 per dozen
get in for 35 per cent!
How long, O Lord, how long!
A Glorious and Safe Fourth. j
"Dynamite is not essential to pa-
triotism, but neither is total abstin-1
ence from fireworks necessary to a ;
sane Fourth," says Woman's Home
Companion for June. "Washington, j
for instance, had, in 1909, a municipal
fireworks display conducted by ex- j
perts, lasting two hours, witnessed by
40,000 people,; and will have another j
this vear. The money was subscribed '
by business men, fireworks bought of
a firm willing to send men to set them
off, and the exhibition held in an open
epaee where no damage, to life nor
building could, nor did, result. An au
tomobile parade, with prizes, was ar
ranged by a local newspaper, boat
clubs held regattas, and a general ex
odus for a picnic day and a day in the
country occurred. For those who had
a mind for it, patriotic pssemblies
were held, the declaration read, and
music piayed its part. And Washing
ton found it worth while, as Toledo
has, and Chicago and Cleveland. New
York city joins the procession this
year. There wjll be no going back to
the old ways.. The new way has been
tried and found admirable.
"What Washington has done on a
farge scale you, In your family and in
your neighborhood, can do with equal
effect. You may not be able, this first
year, to change public sentiment in
your community, but you can change
It In your own circle. And if you can
uot persuade your friends to choose
the right course with you, at least you
ran do this much for them: Show
them this article. Make them under
stand the nature of the danger they
face. Above all, tell them that if your
words and the words of their trusted
physician have no weight on the ques
tion of denying fireworks to little, un
skilled dirty hands, at least they must
not neglect the seemingly harmless
powder wound. Or if, in spite of your
own window, your child suffers through
the ignorance of others and is even
slightly wounded, do not try the old
home remedies that close the wound
and shut out the one hope, oxygen.
Take him at once to your physician.
Give him a fighting chance for his life.
Give yourself a chance to escape the
unspeakable horror of watching him
in the agony of tetanus. Do this much,
at least; do more, if you can. And
you can if you start now."
The Pay of Ministers.
The average annual salary of a min
ister of the gospel Is but $663, in all
the denominations represented in the
compilations on this subject in part 1
of a special report on the census of re
ligious -bodies for 1906, which is now
in press preparatory to its submission
by United States Census Director Du
rand to Secretary Nagel of the depart-
1 ment of commerce and labor. The re
port was compiled under the super
vision of Wiliara C. Hunt, chief sta
tistician of population in the census
bureau, and the statistics were collect
ed partly by correspondence and part
ly by special agents.
It is pointed out in the introduction
that this is the first time an attempt
has been made in the United States
census to secure official statistics con
cerning salaries paid to ministers. It
is stated that the" results of the cen
sus are not entirely satisfactory on
account of the failure of some minis
ters to report their salaries and of
others to report without sufficient
clearness. Of the grand total of 1S6
denominations in continental United
States, the report states that 15 have
no regular ministry and 69 either pay
no stated salaries or make returns
which are not sufficiently complete to
Of the 201,351 organizations compos
ing the .102 remaining denominations,
there were 164,229, or 81.6 per cent,
which made returns to the census In
quiry, and the report states there is
reason to believe that these are sub
stantially complete and accurate, and
it is thought that they embrace a suf
ficient number of organizations of the
respective denominations to be fairly
representative of conditions as to the
average salaries paid to ministers.
The figures in the tables are for con
tinental United States, for each of the
four principal classes of cities that
is. those having a population in 1900
of 25,000 to 50.000, of 50,000 to 100,000.
of 100,000 to 300,000 and of 300,000 and
over, and for the area outside of them.
The denomination showing the high
est average is the Unitarian, with $1,
653, while the denominations next in
order are the Protestant Episcopal
church, $1,242; the Universalists, $1,
238; te General Convention of the
New Jerusalem in the United States
of America, $1,233; the Jewish con
gregations, $1,222; the Presbyterian
church in the United States of Amer
ica, $1,177; the Reformed church In
America, $1,170; the United Presby
terian church ot North America, $1,
096; the Congregationalists, $1,042;
the Christian Catholic Church In Zion,
$1,037, and the synod of the Reformed
Presbyterian church of North Amer
. Among the denominations showing
an average salary considerably lower
than the general average or the Unit- j
ed States are the Advent Christian
church; all the Baptist bodies except
the Northern Baptist convention; the;
Christian Union, the Christians (Chris- j
tian Connection), the Church of Christ, j
Scientist; the General Eldership of j
the Churches of God in North Ameri-!
ca; the Society of Friends (Orthodox) ; i
the colored Methodist bodies; the!
Methodist Protestant, Wesieyan Meth
odist and Free Methodist churches;
the Salvation Army, and the Volun
teers of America. In the case of most
of the last named bodies, as shown by
the report, many of the organization I
reporting are outside of the principal
clues, and many of them are doubt
less in rural regions, and this fact ac
counts largely for the comparatively
low average salary. The low average
shown -for the Church of Christ, Sci
entist, is said to be due to the fact that
most of those who serve as ministers,
or readers, are persons having other
vocations and not dependent on the
salaries paid by the churches. In the
case of the Salvation Army and Volun
teers of America the allowance made
by the officers serving at the various
posts is usually based uron the prob
able expenses, and is practically lim
ited to these expenses.
May 31 in American
1B1S- John Albion Andrew, war gov
ernor of Massachusetts, born; died
1S62 Battle of Fair Oaks; also called
1SSS General George Jerrison Sfan
nard. leader of the countercharge
on Pickett's Confederate column
at Gettysburg, died; born 1820.
BOLD HUMTEri CP CRIMINALS.
Mothod3 Ued by Thomas F. Byrnes
to Convict a Murderer.
Trobably no man was better known
In the world of police and none more
feared in the underworld than was
Thomas F. Byrnes, formerly superin
tendent of police and head of the de
tective department in New York, who
recently died at his home in that city.
Courage, shrewdness and persistence
advanced him from the ranks as a po
liceman to the head of the department
and gave to him international fame as
a bold and successful hunter of crimi
nals. Lie it jvaswho made Mulberry
f T -piESiOErsT- rarr going to chu&cm (T(M!V
vr WASHINGTON. The congregadon of All Souls' church, where President Taft worships, has decided to
erect a larger church and a
church Is within nve diocks oi tne wmie nouse, ana a new bub ui tux eviuuujr rcuirtu iuuiuuu ib now
beine soueht. All Souls' was established In 1821 and its congregation has grown to about 800 mem
bers. Mr. Taft Is not the first president numbered among Its congregation, for John Qulncy Adams was a
Unitarian and worshiped there. John C. Calhoun vand many other men prominent In public life also have
attended All Souls'. The proposed new parish hall will be a memorial to Dr. Edward Everett Hale.
street the peer of Scotland Yard and
spread the fame of his creations, "the
dead line" and "the third degree," to
the four quarters of the earth.
In his methods there was nothing of
the Vidocq, but he had traits which
the detective of fiction lacked. Ilia
own story of how he got the evidence
to convict young Michael E. McGloin
of the murder of a Frenchman in New
York shows how he effected what ap
peared to be Impossible.
"I knew he committed that murder,1
said Byrnes, "but how to prove it was
the question. 1 even hired a woman
to keep him company for six weeks,
and she would have lest an arm before
she would have given him away ,if she
had known what I wanted him for.
But all she had to do was to keep me
Informed as to what he was doing,
where he went and whom he associat
ed with. At last, in desperation, I
played my last card. I had him ar
rested, and I arrested his three ac
complices, each being taken separately
and all kept apart. 1 took McGloin
into a little room- looking out on the
central court of the headquarters build
ing, and I seated him so that he was
facing the window and could see what
went on In the courtyard. I sat fac
ing him with my back toward the win
dow. "All around the room were nooses of
hangmen's ropes, black jacks and oth
er things associated with crime and
punishments. I kept htm there forty
five minutes, and at the end of eaeh
fifteen minutes one after another of
his accomplices was taken across the
courtyard as if he iiad just been ar
rested. Not a word was .said by me.
He kept asking ine what I wanted of
him and what he had done. As each
of the first two of his accomplices was
brought in I could see him start. Then
a pawnbroker came into the room and
handed me the pistol with which the
murder was done. The pawnbroker
went out. and I sat there playing with
the pistol. Just then Banfield. the last
of the accomplices, wns brought
through the yard handcuffed to a de
tective. McIloin dropped to his kuecs
In agony of terror and begged me to
save him from the gallows."
Census Enumerator's Story.
Census Enumerator Conklin of MI1
lerton, N. Y., reenfiy reported a curi
ous incident on Silver mountain, where
people live to be quite old. Finding an
aged man sitting on the front porch
and weeping bitterly, the enumerator
Inquired the trouble, whereupon the
"My dad licked me."
"How old nre you?" asked Conklin.
"Eighty-nine," wns the reply.
"Where is your father?"
"ITe's behind the house splitting
Conklin found the old man engaged
at the wood pile and among other
questions asked him why he had whip
ped his son.
"Why. the little cuss was throwing
stones at his grandad!" the wooriehop
per answered. Conklin then inquired,
"Where is his grandfather?"
The man said as he resumed his at
tack on the wood pile, "Oh, he got Lit
on the head and has gone in to haTe
his mother put ou some sticking plas
2r. Price's Jelly Desserts are dellclons,
tconomical and quickly made 12 fruit
10 Cents a Package All Grocers.
m a a v ssi sn r m
15 621 S?it
PRESIDENT TAFT'S CHURCH TOO SMALL
parish house, the present accommodations having been outgrown. -The
The Argiis Daily Short Story
The Invincible Billy
Copyrighted. 1910. by
x-cey-sat upon tne pier togetner, tne
girl whose eyes were as blue aa the
sea, the little boy whose flaxen curia
framed the face of a cherub and the
man who looked askance at the boy
and frowned. The girl caressed the
child. "Dear." she asked tenderly,
"are you tired?"
Billy rested the curly head against
his aunt's shoulder and confidingly
placed his damp boots upon the skirt
of her white linen' dress. "Nope." he
Jack Winston sighed and shook his
head. "When I see the amount of af
fection you are wasting upon that
Imp," he 6aid', "my soul Is filled with
The boy scrambled to his feet sud
denly and, collecting a handful of small
sharp stones, began pelting them at
the two occupants of a small boat
which glided noiselessly along beside
"Billy." his annt cried, horrified
"Billy, did you hit the little boy?"
. "You bet I did," her nephew re
plied gleefully. "That was Dicky
Smith. I hate Dicky Smith!"
Miss Brereton's eyes looked unutter
ably sad. "That was very wrong,"
she said reprovingly, "and you must
not hate him. dear; you must love
every hod y."
Iler nephew laughed. "Everybody !"
he exclaimed derisively.
"Yes, indeed." his aunt reiterated.
"Do you love everybody. Aunt Bea
trice?" he asked. "Do you love Mr.
Winston?" A rosy flush covered his
aunt's pretty face.
"Of course I do," she answered even
ly. Billy turned to seek an ally In the
man! "Do you love everybody, Mr.
Winston?" he persisted.
"Not by a good deal. Bill," the man
responded warmly. "I have much the
same feeling for Mr. Fenway, for in-
OlUUV.C iutb J VII U4 .- a,bj
The girl laughed and caught her
small nephew by the hand. "What
nonsense!" she said. "And now don't
you think it is time to go back?"
The three went strolling up the
sandy beach, the boy skipping along
between them. The .hotel guests had
assembled upon the wide verandas,
awaiting the sound of the gong which
would summon them to the evening
meal. They bailed the delinquents
merrily. "Last call for dinner In the
dining-car," said Fenway. "Billy,
come here and give an account of
yourself." He caught up the boy and
perched him upon his knee. Beatrice
stood leaning against a white pillar,
smiling down at them. Winston sat
upon a lower step.
"What have you been doing, Billy
boy?" Fenway questioned. The child
was always very amusing, so the
guests leaned forward, eagerly listen
ing for his replies.
"Been down on the pier." Billy piped
in his shrill treble, -"with Aunt Bea
trice and Mr. Winston." A pause.
VAunt Beatrice says she loves Mr. Win
ston," he repeated deliberately. For a
moment there wa3 silence, tense, dead
ly silence; then Jack Winston commit
ted the unpardonable crime he laugh
ed. No one Joined him.' That made it
worse, for all were fascinated in
watching the girl's face, which changed
so suddenly from white to crimson.
She looked contemptuously at Winston
for a moment because he could thus
enjoy ber discomfiture.
"Billy." she said desperately, "you
remember. 1 spoke of loving every
bodynot Mr. Winston in particular;
he was merely included with the oth
ers." It seemed to the man on the lower
step that her eyes sought Fenway's
appeallngly. "Merely included with
the others." He arose suddenly. "You
have sufficiently cleared yourself of
the Imputation." he began in a low
tone, but Billy was speaking again.
"Mr. Winston says." the cherub an
nounced distinctly, "that sometimes he
would like to pelt stones at Mr. Fen
By Agnes G. Brogan.
Associated Literary Press.
way." There was a general laugh at
this, and Winston was conscious of an
overwhelming desire to fall upon the
boy and thrash him within an Inch of
"Thanks, awfully. BUI," Fenway ob
served calmly. "Forewarned Is fore
armed. Henceforth, whenever I see
Jack Winston coming my way, I shall
The company dispersed in little chat
tering groups toward the dining room.
Billy was borne thence upon Fenway's
shoulder, and Beatrice followed. As
Winston passed she averted her eyes,
and so during the endlessly long week
which followed she perversely ignored
bis existence and admirably succeeded
in dispelling any erroneous idea which
might have prevailed regarding her
partlalty toward him. And the in
jured ODe hid himself in faraway cor
ners and worked resolutely upon the
aerial story which be was preparing
for one of the current magazines. He
had neglected his writing lately, and
there was much to do. Occasionally
Billy would seek him out. but was al
ways currly dismissed. In fact, the
thorns were beginning to show among
Billy's roses, for his champion. Fen
way, had suddenly departed for town,
and Aunt Beatrice had developed into
a very unreasonable person. One could
not tell how to plense her.
When they started for a walk upon
their last afternoon at the seaside Aunt
Beatrice first found the wooded path
too shady, then decided that the sun
shone toa brightly upon the pier, and
later when the man in the little post
office informed them that there were
"no letters today" Billy really thought
she was going to cry. "P'r'aps,1" he
comforted. "Mr. Fenway will write a
nice letter to you biineby, but," he
added, with the strange perversity of
childhood, "I like Mr. Winston best."
Aunt Beatrice very unexpectedly
bent down and kissed his upturned
face. "Billy boy." she said sadly. "Mr.
Winston does not like us any more,
and it is all because of you." Billy
pondered deeply upon this. If It was
his fault that these two funny grown
up people refused to speak to each
other then some way or other be must
be the one to straighten things out.
He did not quite know how he was
going to accomplish this purpose, but
would see Mr. Winsfon at any rate.
So It happened that Billy's chubby fig
ure Invaded the biding place among
the trees, and Winston ceased scrib
bling for a moment to look impatient
ly at the Innocent face peepmff out
from its tangled curls. "Hello!" said
"Don't you see that I am busy?" the
man answered. "Now run along."
"All right," Billy agreed, and sat
down upon a fallen tree trunk. Win
ston resumed his writing. As he fin
ished one sheet he would tear it hasti
ly from the pad and toss it from him.
The ground near by seemed covered
with the closely written pages.
"You write a great many letters,"
Billy suggested politely. There was no
response. "Mr. Fenway went away
yesterday," he ventured again. Still
no answer. "Aunt Beatrice and I are
going home tomorrow." he continued.
At last Billy bad gained the man's at
tention. "Tomorrow!" he exclaimed in
consternation. "She is going away
tomorrow?" Ellly was pleased with
the sensation he had made. "Yep,"
he answered coolly. "No more fun
Jack Winston looked far away be
tween the trees to where he could see
a glimpse of blue sea beyond. "I sup
pose not, now that Fenway has gone,"
he said bitterly. The man continued
to gaze gloomily out upon the sea. He
had forgotten the story: he nad forgot
ten even Billy until the unusual silence
reminded him that his unwelcome vis
itor had departed. Then he slowly col
lected the scattered sheets, dropped the
pad into a loose coat pqpket and with
great heaviness of heart turned, to go.
So she was leaving tomorrow. In all
probability he would never see ber
again, and the happy hours of thls
summer wUk-ii Ua.. meaut everything
to him would linger In her memory
only as an idle seaside flirtation. - The
man sighed a mighty sigh, and then
the twisted branches before him were
parted and Beatrice herself stood there
In the opening. She raised a flushed
face to nl: her blue eyes shone misti
ly. "I wanted lo see yoQ ho very
much." she Maid hesitatingly, "that I
Just could not wait ffr you to come."
He stared unbelievingly. Miss Brere--ton
pouted. "Of course If ,709 are not
glad to see me" she was beginning,
when the glorious truth dawned full
"Glad!" he cried, and the fervor ex
pressed lu that one word seemed to
quite satsfy the girl. Afttr a long
silence sheNaughed softly. "It was a
dear little note." she said. "Do yon
know you have alwayi appeared to be
such a dignified, self contained per
son that really I have been a bit afraid
of you all along at least I never imag
ined that one so calm could write like
The last words were ottered in a
tone which conveyed her entire ap
proval of the note, which had evident
ly been the means' of bringing her to
his side. Winston realized slowly that
something remained to be explained.
He must be cautious.
"Have yon the letter with you, dear?"
he asked. She drew a crumpled paper
from her belt and. smoothing It out.
held It up before his eyes. The man
took ber bands and the note within bis
"Dearest." he read in his own hand
writing. 'I can bear this silence this
separation no longer. In pity let me
see you once more." The scrawl end
ed abruptly, and the sheet was torn
off as though in frantic baste. With a
perplexed frown Winston recognized
the words with which the hero of hia
latest serial story begins an ardent
epistle to bis ladylove.
Beatrice smiled. "Yon must admit."
she said softly, "that Billy made a
good messenger. I was sitting In the
garden looking sorrowfully out over
the hills and wondering if a certain
person who considered himself mor
tally offended could really be so cruel
as to allow me to go far away with
out one word of goodby when Billy,
the dear, came running down the road.
Aunt Beatrice. he called, 'here is a
letter for you from Mr. WlnstonT If
it had not been such a nice, anxious
letter I might have properly waited for
yon to come to me, . but as it was
well. Billy led me straight to your hid
"Dearest," said Winston in the phras
ing of the letter. "I humbly apologize
for the many unkind remarks which 1
have made from time to time concern
ing your nephew. He is an angel, a
remarkably clever child. There has
never been his equal." Beatrice sigh
ed contentedly, and Winston, happen
ing to 'glance over the crown of ber
head at this moment, saw the afore
said angel seated upon the tree trunk
close by. apparently a very much in
"Say." said Billy wearily, "cut it out,
won't yon? Supper's ready."
SUNDAY SCHOOL CONVENTION
World Gathering In Washington Ex
pected to Be Largest Ever Held.
The World's Sunday School associa
tion is to meet In triennial convention
in Washington May 19-24. The plans
include so many unusual and spectacu
lar features that there seems to be
warrant for the confident expectation
of the enthusiastic leaders that this
will be the most impressive demonstra
tion of organized Christianity the Unit
ed States has ever seen.
It is a far cry from the obscure and
sneered at "ragged school" of Robert
Raikes, little more than a hundred
years ago, to the Washington conven
tion, with a president, governors, sen
ators, congressmen, supreme court Jus
tices and world famous business men
in attendance, not to mention the hurv
dreds of representative Christian lead
ers from all climes.
One of the spectacular exhibits at
the Washington convention will be an
array of letters from the foremost pub
lic men in America, reciting their per
sonal relationship to the Sunday school.
This will be a rather astonishing
showing, the convention leaders do
clare, revealing a real connection be
tween Sunday school training and suc
cess in life. A great parade of mem
bers of adult Bible classes will pro
ceed down Pennsylvania avenue. It
is expected that several thousand men
will be in line. A children's parade
for one afternoon of the convention is
A women's mass meeting and a men's
mass meeting are other program items.
The afternoon sessions will be devot
ed to bearing from the foreigners, and
these will be called "a congress of the
The 1910 gathering in Washington Is
expected to be the largest of all.
The Only Building
Material that Can
Win in an Endur
Marquette Cement rnfg. b.
La Sail. C
Chicagt Officet Mungiz Bldg.
Handled by all representa
9r WVC.4JV M. SMI Ttt
THERE is really nothing in It
As you journey day by day
To be fussing with the neighbors
And the folks along the way.
You can as you labor dally
Pull as many dollars down
From the place where they are hiding
With a smile as with a frown.
If you care to lay a wager
It's a safe and certain bet
There is nothing: for the kicker
That the others do not set.
For in meeting with a stranger
He can very soon depend
On a man who hates his picture
Where be might have bad a friend.
It's a rough and tumble mlxup
That at beat we bave to face.
And a grouch as excess baggage
Wins us neither friends nor place.
When you Jolt a fellow being.
When his bead you try to cracJt,
You can bet that he Is laying
For a chance to hand it back.
Down the line of letist resistance
It is easier to sail.
Winning with the softened answer
Where an angry word might fail
Tossing here and there a favor
In this world of give and take.
Casting bread upon the water.
Bread that may return aa cake.
"What a beautiful woman!"
"Friend of yours?"
"Yea; I know her intimately."
"What is ber name?"
"Er r I am not certain."
"What! How can that be when yon
know her so intimately?"
"She marries so often, yon see."
His Rich Relation.
"He Is a distant relative of yours, I
"You are fond of him no donbt."
"Not at alL"
"He is rich, isn't her
"Yes, and. although merely distantly
related, when I came to make a touch
I found him too close."
Point ef View.
"He owes a lot of money."
"Poor fellow V
"Debt Is 'so harassing."
"That isn't the way he looks at It"
"No. He is always thinking what a
good time he bad spending it.'
The Smart Also.
"Did yon make the train?'
"Did they give you a mint of mon
"A mint of money T
"Making the train."
One Warm Heart.
"I am the assessor."
"I am pleased to meet yon."
"That Is the way I like to hear &
man talk. Mor men act as though I
were the smallpox."
"But, you see, I have no property."
We look into the future.
And Just ahead we see
A fine and dandy picture
. Of things that are to be.
The trouble all sround us
Has vanl3hfd to a peck.
Just at that point a new one
Lands rlpht athwart our neck.
"I was thinking of buying an auto
mobile." "Have you changed your mind?"
"No; it doesn't cost anything pet
rintftnli n fT ant rn la n s-i tcfniffiA t hflt
' sometimes both the foolish and the ex-
j perienced adopt.
j Being a liar doesn't prevent a mas
i from beir.3 several other things.
" When a woman takes no Interest Id
her back hair there is something seri
ous the matter with ber.
Cntchlng a cold
is the ensy part
of it. It is at
tending to the
wants of It after
it i secured that
keeps one busy.
lie is indeed an
for labor because
be has all the men
tal Hirers of work
ing without the re
ward of results.
There are some girls smart enough
to solve the servunt problem by learn
ing themselves to do housework.
The reason some persons are living
without working is because there are
such a lot that are working without
Driving a man to drink Is such a
imple matter that a mere weak wo
man can do it and not half try.
Regrets don't help to get the punish
ment ameliorated a bit. but lack of
Uiem often stimulates the Judge to
tack on about twenty years.
Yon see a soon as you meet some
persons that no sort of halo could poo
y.lbly suit their general stylo.
A Man Wants to Ole
only when a lazy liver and slug gist
bowe? cause frir ful despondency
But Dr. vVxsX Nc. Ulc Fills exp
poisons fro2 ttr ystem; bring hp?,
and courage, cure all liver, stomact
and kidne. ' .'oubles; Impart healU
and vigor t-'e weak, nervous and
ailing, 25 at all druggists.