Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLAND ARGUS, TUESDAY JULY 5, 1910.
rubllshed Dally and Weekly at 163
econd avenue. Rook Island. HI. En
tered at the postefflce as second-claas
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dally. 1 cent per week.
iWeekly, fl per rear In advance.
' 'All communications of argumentative
tharaeter. political or religious, must
have real name attached for publica
tion. No such, articles wlU be printed
ever fictitious slgrnatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township In Rock Island county.
e f RAPES fUrijcOUNCIL
Tuesday, July 5, 1910.
. It etill remains for some pugnacious
ly patriotic citizen of the universe to
take up the white man's burden.
The main thing, really the only
thing about the (Reno incident that
commends itself is that it was on the
It may sound like exaggeration, but
a man really has almost as many but
tons on a whole suit of clothes as a
Woman has on tne back of her dress.
At Wesleyan university. Middle
town. Conn., five of the ten girls in
the class with 64 men carried off all
the prizes and honors at graduation
this year. But there is hope for the
boys in the years to come, for the
trustees have ruled that girls are to
be excluded from the institution here
after. Really, the young women
should not have been so grasping.
They might have left one of the five
prizes for' the men to encourage
Senator Lodge says this Is "as good
a tariff as could be made under a crude
and unscientific method." This is a
naive confession as to the crude and
unscientific character of the Payne
Aldrich bill. Yet neither Senator
Lodge, Senator Aldrich nor any of the
rest of the reactionaries had any mis
givings on this score when they were
passing the bill under pressure of the
trusts. Then they could not say too
much of the great legislative wisdom
Of the measure.
It Is a race between Arizona and
New Mexico as to which shall first
be prepared for $tatehood. New Mex
ico will elect the delegates to a con
stitutional convention on Sept. 6 and
the convention will meet four weeks
later. Arizona will elect Its dele
gates Sept. 12 and the convention
must meet within 60 days after the
returns are canvassed. Both appar
ently intend that congress and the
president shall pass on their state
constitutions next winter.
The Terre Haute Star respectfully
calls the attention of Secretary Bal
linger to the course of Chief of Police
Kohler of Cleveland, who declines to
dismiss any members of the police
force who testified falsely against
him. Kohler says he is not revenge
ful is "not that small and cheap."
It Is not asserted that the witnesses
against Ballinger told anything but
the truth or had any but an honor
able purpose, yet he has begun to
"fire" them. He is in a lower class
than Chief Kohler.
The Sad Incident of the Fourth.
The sad incident of the Fourth was
the passing of Chief Justice Melville
W. Fuller of the United States su
preme court. The death of the most
distinguished jurist came as a great
shock, notwithstanding the advanced
years of the deceased.
Justice Fuller was not only a
learned man, possessed cf a wonder
fully powerful and well balanced
mind, but was of that temperament
which attracts and charms. Me was
an ideal law giver, an ideal man.
Seven Year L.ocusts.
It seems that the "seven year locusts"
are appearing In certain localities iu
Pennsylvania and playin sad lavoc
with things. The report comes that
trains cannot be operated on the On
tario & Western railroad because of
swarms of these pest3 which gather
about the rails which absorb and re
tain tho heat during the day. Tons and
tens of coal are standing on the sid
ings because the locomotives can make
r.o headway against the slippery buss.
From early morning until sundown the
noise made by the whirring of the
locusts, it is said, is all permeating,
and can be heard a mile, sounding like
the far-away blowing of a factory
. Vegetation, the report says, is being
rapidly devastated by the pests. It is
not stated how large a territory the
locusts are operating in; it is to be
hoped that they are confined in a small
section of the state.
Rock Island's Sensible Fourth.
Following the custom that has
been in practice in recent years. Rock
. Island enjoyed another sensible
Fourth. The wise , efforts of the
business men who had charge of the
celebration were more than crowned
with success. Every feature of the
day was enjoyed. In Long View park
during the day and on the river in
the evening the pyrotechnic display
" hich delighted 15,000 people as-
semMed either along the river front
or- upon the tops of the city's main
business buildings where they could
command a view, every feature prov
ed an unqualified success.
People swarmed into -the city from
all the surrounding towns and put
in a most happy day. Apart from "the
janeclal attractions the Watch Tower,
that always popular resort, was the
magnet for thousands.
The weather was such that the
people of Rock Island were able to
go out with Borne degree of comfort
and participate in the festivities of
the day, and they did so in the gen
eral run of instances.
Altogether It was one of the most
sensible, patriotic and altogether sue
cessful and satisfactory Fourths
Rock Island has ever had.
The New Railroad Law.
The most notable provision of the
"administration railroad bill," which
has just become a law, is for a com
merce court. This tribunal is to have
the jurisdiction now possessed by
United States circuit courts over the
enforcement of orders of the inter
state commerce commission, with cer
tain specified exceptions. These excep
tions include orders for the payment of
money, cases to annul orders of the
commission, and mandamus proceed
ings provided for in sections 20 and 23
of the act of Feb. 4, 1S87.
The commerce court is to b com
posed of five judges, appointed from
among the circuit judges by the chief
justice of the supreme court for five
years. In the first instance, however,
the court is designated by the presi
dent to serve one, two, three, four and
five years, respectively, in order that
the term of one may expire each year
An appeal from the decision of the
commerce .court may be taken within
CO days to the supreme court, but such
an appeal is in no case to supersede or
stay the decree of the commerce court
unless the supreme court so directs.
Appeajs from It to the supreme court
have priority over all other causes ex
cept criminal cases. Suits brought to
stay an order of the commission do
not suspend the operation of the ord?r
unless expressly directed by the com
The provisions of the interstate com
merce act are extended to include per
sons and corporations transporting oil
or any other commodity (except water
and natural gas in pipe lines), tele
graph and telephone companies, both
wire and wireless, cable companies, ex
press companies and sleeping car com
panies. All service in connection with
the receipt, delivery, elevation and
transfer in transit, ventilating, refrig
erating, icing, storage and handling is
included in the term "transportation"
as used in the act.
The commission's powers over rates
are greatly Increased under the new
law. When a new rate is proposed the
commission may suspend it for 120
days in addition to the usual 30 days'
notice pending an investigation of its
reasonableness. If the time for inves
tigation is not sufficient it may be ex
tended for an additional six months.
The commission must give preference
over allother matters to questions con
cerning rates and render the speediest
decision consistent with proper con
sideration of the Issues.
If the commission finds a rate or
regulation unreasonable, unjust or dis
criminatory, it may fix a reasonable
rate, and may also act upon its own
initiative without waiting for a formal
complaint. Orders of the commission
are to take effect in not less than 30
days and are to remain in force not
more than two years, and may ba mod-
Ified or suspended by the commission j
or the court. If carriers fail to agree I
on the division of a Joint rate tho coin-
mission, after a hearing, may nnporiion
the rate. If carriers neglect to estab
lish through routes and rates the com
mission Is empowered to do so.
The new act .makes it unlawful for
common carriers to charge more for
the transportation of passengers or
freight for a rhort distance than for a
?"t- crc y limil In t Vw cgtnn il i rrr't inn nn
1 ' 1 V . 11 1. I ... .11 . uv. . 1 V 1 IV V l ' ' 1 . V . .
the same line, the shorter being includ
ed within the longer distance; or to
charge more as a through route than
the aggregate of the intermediate
rates, but this is not to he construed
as authorizing any carrier to receive
as great a compensation for a shorter
as for a longer distance. The commis-
1 slon is empowered, however, to author
ize a carrier to charge less for a longer
than for shorter distances in special
Rates now existing are not to bo
i changed by reason of this act within
six months after its passage. If a
railroad cuts rates to compete with a
water route it may not thereafter in
crease the rate unless it can show at a
hearing before the commission that the
proposed increase is due to other con
ditions than the elimination of water
Any officer or agent of a carrier who
knowingly assists or permits any per
son to obtain transportation at less
than regular rates through false billing,
classification, or weight or any other
means, is deemed guilty of a misde
meanor, and may upon conviction be
subjected to a fine of $3,000, or two
years in the penitentiary, or both, j
Shippers who are found guilty of such '
acts are liable to the same penalties; 1
so are those found guilty of inducing j
or attempting to Induce a common car- j
rier to discriminate unjustly in their i
favor against other shippers.
The president Is authorized to ap-!
point a commission to investigate ques- j
tions pertaining to the issuance oft
stocks and bonds. An appropriation is ;
made to defray the expenses of the i
175S George .nullum us iseount Howe
of the P.ritish colonial army killed
near Fort Ticonderoga. N. Y.
1S01 David Glasgow Farragut. naval
hero, born; died 1S70.
1810 Phiueas Taylor Itanium, snow
man, born at Bethel. Conn.; died
1S00 Bishop John P. Newman, noted
Methodist divine and the friend of
General Grant. dled; born liCU.
July 5 in American
i , 1
tlffxX f-:Vi 'V -v it-"" fl 7?
. . -rr , t . v, - r- r-i
Chicago. The big military tourna.nent which opened with the parade on the Fourth of July is now in full
swing and is providing a fine spectacle for Chicagoans and for the thousands of visitors from this part of the
country who are flocking to the city. More than 5.C00 troops of the regular army occupy Camp Dickinson in Grant
Park. Every branch of the service is represented and each afternoon and evening the varied work of the sol
diers is reproduced. ,
SUES FOR DIVORCE IN RHYME
Spokane Man Says Wife "Toils Not,
Neither Does She Spin."
Whether G. II. Forth, plaintil in the
suit, or Lis counsel, J. C. Kleher, is re
sponsible for establishing a precedent
iu the Spokane (Wash. I county supe
rior court by tolliug his domestic trou
bles in rhy:ue is not known, but iu the
following lines incorporated in the
complaint are the several charges pre
ferred against Delia Forth iu an action
The defendant tolls not. neither does she
In her leisure hours other hearts doth she
Against the wish and without a husband's
Neither timo nor affection on him has she
Till patience no longer such conduct can
And a wrontjed spouse now a divorce
The Fort lis were married In Spokane
in November, li.HJ4, and have u four-year-old
FISH MAY EAT SKEETERS.
Harvard Professor Has Scheme to Rid
Dr. Satuui'l Garmau of Harvard and
other scientists have put forth the
proposition of exterminating the mos
quito pest iu New FnSaiui by the in
troduction and acclimating of goldfish
and the species of cypriucuionts iato
lakes ar.d ponds where the mosijuito
abounds. The goldfish, of which there
are already many in the Charles river,
are gret lovers of mosquitoes and
About axi.ooo deaths are caused an
uuai.y iv the bites or mosquitoes In-
feeted with germs. I'r. Garmau be
lieves that in addition to the I'undulus
inagalis, ygoneeten licttii and the
Zygonei-tes olivaeeu;, thi' more prolific
speci"s, the Ilefcra lxllia formosa and
the Gamliusia holhrokii. ran be brought
and bred in the northern countries and
do away with the mosquito pests.
YOUNG MORSE NOW CCWCOY.
Convicted Bar.kor's Cor Leaves Yale
Erwiu E. Mor.se, the second son of
Charles W. Morse, the federal prisoner
at Atlanta, whose wife is making u
fl.cht to obtain his pardon by the pres
ident, was graduated from Yale this
year la a class of which one member
was the sou of President Taft. Young
Morse Is a fine, large, manly fellow
with Ins father's alert mind and New
England tempera u-.eut and the body
of n trained nthiore. Following grad
ur-.tion lie left New York for Wyoming.
where he i.- to begin life as a cowboy
on n ranch thirty miles square.
Young Morse had the choice of com
mencing life In New York, getting into
some ollice and working his way up
the ladder. With his father's many
friends he could have found ready ad
vancement had he chosen to become 8
Troubles comparatively se!doi conn
to us; it Is we who go to them. Sir
Why take a chance?
Marquette Cement Mfg. Co.
La Salle., III.
Chicago Office Marquette Bldg.
Handled by ell representa
IN MILITARY TOURNAMENT AT CHICAGO
The Argus Daily Short Story
The Dragon Screen
Copyrighted. 1910. by
Whea the last wagou load of furni
ture had turned out of the avenue into
the highroad and the auctioneer bad
furled his red tlag and driven away
from the old mansion set among tall
growing locusts Io!orah Ames smiled
quizzically ;it her uiece.
"I suppose you think my heart's
broken, Polly." she said quietly.
"I saved what I wanted, dear."
Polly Ames stared. "You are trying
to be brave, you dear thing:" she cried
impulsively. "If you had only listen
ed and had let me go to work you
could have saved all the things that
you have always had about you."
"And of wl.kh I am dreadfully
tired," interposed her aunt, with sud
den energy. "I.arkin says the things
brought two hundred and fifty, and
that will keep us a year. Polly. You
see, father left the place free and clear
because he did not want his daughters
to work for a living, lie said the in
come from the securities would be suf
ficient to support us for life. But we
were never able to fmd any trace of
them. You remember how poor moth
er and 1 searched for the papers up to
the very day of her death, and I look
and look now. though I nm very doubt
ful whether father ever had them, and
"I could t.'.ieh music." said Tolly
mutinously for the hundred;) time in
the past year.
"My dear," cried MKs Deborah for
the hundred; h time, "your grandfather
Ames left n-.i ample fortune -enough
to educate you and support us for the)
rest or our i:ays.
"Where is it. then?" Polly saw her
own Hushed f..ee in the long mirror
and beside it Aunt Deborah's tired
countenance, and her tender heart
smote her. "Don't let us talk about
it any more tonight, Aunt'Deb. Y'ou
will sleep on the davenport tonight?
You sold the very beds, you know,"
suggested Polly gintly.
"Come with me, my child. Y'ou
have not made a trip to the south gar
ret this many a day, I'll warrant,"
smiled Miss Deborah.
Iu this attic wire many, strangely
sheeted forms that crowded the small
Carefully Miss Deborah withdrew
the dusty sheets and. rolling them into
balls, disclosed a closely packed mass
Polly gazed open mouthed. "What
is it, Auut Dob? Where did you get
it? Why-it's solid mahogany! Oh,
the dear tables and the- highboys!
Chippendale? and Sheraton and real
colonial!" Iler pretty nese was poked
here and there among the treasures,
and her charming face was reflected
from a dozen dim mirrors.
Miss Deborah smiled sadly. "It Is
my very own, Polly, dear. It was left
to me by my great-aunt Hester, and
it has remained stored away here for
twenty-five year-. I planned to give
this to you and Dick for a wedding
git, but I shall need it for awhile.
After I am gone"
Folly stopped her sentence with a
kiss. "After you are gone, indeed!"
she cried indignantly. "Y'ou know that
you are to live with us as soon as
ever Dick makes enough money to
start a home. What a beautiful bouse
we will have eh. Aunt Deb?"
She waltzed the stiff backed spinster
about the limited space uutil Miss
Deborah's Hying skirt caught in a pro
jecting nail and dragged clattering to
the floor a tall screen whose frame
was of carved ebony paneled with
heavy Chinese embroidery, now faded
Polly picked it up with a little ex
clamation of delight. "What is this.
Aunt Deb? Why have you kept this
lovely screen hidden?"
"Great-aunt Hester left it to my
father, dear. He was very fond of it.
and for years it stood close to hia desk.
When be was quite helpless we used it
to encircle his chair and ward off the
drafts. It grew quite old and shaky
and needed mending, and i;h no one
but a skilled workman could mend tlu
delicate carving it 'was placed up here
nfttT father's lt;aUi. uud of course I
By Clarissa Mackie.
Associate' - i-Jtem ry Press.
nothing has beci; (Ion;- to it since. All
the broken bits of carving are in that
littlo bag tied to the top," explained
"Can't I take it downstairs. Aunt
Deb? I'm sure Dick can mend it he
Is so clever. And I will mend the
"Very well. dear. Tomorrow Norah's
husband will come and move this fur
niture downstairs: tonight. I fear, we
must sleep on the davenport. It is
growing late. Polly; let us get down
stairs aud see about supper."
Together they dragged the heavy
screen down to the parlor, where Polly
once more fell into ecstasies over its
delicate carving and fine inlay of ivory
and mother of pear'..
After supper came Dick Eraser, and
Polly waited for him in the deep ve
randa and told him of th R.iie of Miss
Dick flushed hotly and sank tnto
a low chair with a quick gesture of
impatience. "It's n darned shame!"
he cried angrily. 'Tlere nm I, a great
strong, husky chap, sitting aroumi
waiting for people to come and be
cured of th;ir i'.ls. while Mis Deborah
needs a man to go to work and pull
her out of her tlnan.ial difficulties! I
wish I'd never studied medicine. I
wish I'd leariud to be a carpenter
or something else!"
"Fiddle-de-dee. Dr. Eraser!" cried
Polly impudently. "If it were not for
j-ou what would become of all the ixor
sick people in Little River?"
"What has become of them now?"
inquired Dr. Eraser. "They dou't fill
my waiting riom. They don't jingle
my telepboue bell, nor do they call me
up in the dead of night. I wish they
would!" he ended viciously.
"Its been a healthy winter" com
forted Polly, "and you know Dr.
Prowu is going to sell bis practice
and go away, and there will be a
chance for you then."
"I'm afraid not, houey. If I could
buy the doctor's practice and his auto
mobile and hia whole outfit I'd be
made, but what's the use of talking?
Let us go in and see Miss Deborah
Perhaps I can help her a bit. You
must be at sixes and sevens."
"Norah has worked like a major,
We shall camp tonight, and tomorrow
we are to have never mind! If you
come over to tea you shall have a
lovely surprise!" promised Tolly as
they entered the house.
When they sat around the cozy little
fire In the back parlor Tolly brought
in the dragon screenand showed it to
"Of course you can mend it. Dick,"
she said confidently.
Dr. Fraser did not reply. lie was
examining the fine carving with the
eye of a lover. Ills skillful fingers
Itched to handle brush aud glue pot
and restore to its original beauty the
"I shall mend the embroidery," ex
plained Tolly, thrusting inquisitive
fingers into the various holes and rips
in the panels. "Look at this scaly old
dragon, Dick! He is fairly peeling
"And this dull green eye needs to be
brightened," remarked the doctor ab
sently. Tolly brought a basket of silks and
sat down near the light and gravely
matched her skeins against the faded
embroidery of the screen. Miss Deb
orah, knitting near the fire, watched
her with tender interest. These two
young people were the very main
spring of her existence now that so
much of her life bad become merged
In the past.
The light shone on the dragon screen,
and the golden dragons glittered until
It almost seemed as if their scales
"How father loved that old screen!"
mused Miss Deborah.
"Will it not be lovely to have it
around once more?" asked Tolly, turn
ing her head, and then the screen
slipped from her grasp, and she caught
wildly at the panel on which she had
been worl-U". Sl cnnTht n torn
fragment of one of tba colden dragons. I
fragment of one of the gulden dragons,
and the silk, rotten with age, fell
apart in her grasp, showing the white
Dick jumped to catch the screen, and
as he righted it there slipped from the
torn panel a long, legal looking en
velope bearing some memoranda in a
"By George!" shouted the young
man excitedly. "What have we here
treasure trove? Polly, girl catch
Folly's eager lingers caught the en
velope and gave one glance at the su
perscription; then she flew across the
loom to Miss Deborah's side.
"The lost securities!" Khe cried. "See,
Aunt Deb: ruudfu'lH-r has them la
beled. How do you suppose they came
to be in such a pl:i'"e, and suppose we
had never found the screen?"
"Suppose I had not sold the furni
ture!" quavered Miss Delwrah as she
opened the bulky envelope and ex
tracted the beautifully engraved cer
tificates. "Do look ut these. Dick
I'm so excited I can't read a thing!
Father must have slipped them in
there abscntiuludedly those last day3
before he was taken ill."
In a very awed voice Dr. Fraser
read the list of valuable securities, and
when he finished with a long drawn
whistle of astoiiislimeut Miss Deborah
and Polly were weeping in each other's
"Won't the old house look perfectly
lovely?" Polly was sobbing. "All the
beautiful old fashioned furniture from
the garret and"
"And Dick shall have the south wing
for his oflieos. and the carriage house
can be made into a very respectable
garage," added Miss Deborah, straight
ening her spectacles.
"What?" demanded Dr. Fraser very
independently. "I couldn't. Miss De
borah Polly I want to earn my own
"You will buy out Dr. Brown's prac
tice," said Miss Deborah decidedly.
"Y'ou can pay me back some day if you
will. But you can do more real good
by becoming my resident physician
than waiting there on the hill for the
patients that do not come."
"Polly," pleaded Dick, "I'm trying
to keep my independence. Back me up.
Y'ou don't think I ought to accept thia
from Miss Deborah ?'
"Aunt Deborah," corrected Polly
sweetly. Then. "If you marry me at
all, Dick, it must be exactly as she
say, for it will make her awfully
happy, won't it. Aunt Deb?"
Miss Delorah arose and, coming to
them, clasped her long arms nround
them both. "I never had any children
of my own." she said huskily; "you
two are all I have. Don't keep me
waiting much longer for my happi
ness!" Then the three heads came together,
gray and blaek and golden, and the
dragons on the screen seemed to writhe
and twist and wink their green eyes
very knowingly as if they knew Miss
Deborah wjuld have her own way
State of Ohio, city of Toledo, Lu
cas county, ss. Frank J. Cheney
makes oath that he 13 senior partner
of the firm of F. J. Cheney & Co..
doing business in the city of Toledo,
county and state aforesaid, and that
said firm will pay the sum of one
hundred dollars for each and every
case of catarrh that cannot be cured
by the use of Hall's Catarrh Cure.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed
in my presence, this Cth day of De
cember, A. D., 1SSC.
A. W. GLEASON.
(Seal). Notary public.
Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken inter
nally and acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system.
Send for testimonials free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO.,
Sold by all druggists, 75 cents.
Take Hall's Family Pills for con
stipation. Soreness of the muscles, whether
induced by violent exercise or in
jury, is quickly relieved by the free
application of Chamberlain's Lini
ment. This liniment is equally val
uable for muscular rheumatism and
always affords quick relief. Sold by
ever stop to think? Knmv where it is
what it does? The liver is a hu
man filtration plant removing deadly
poisons disease-breeding germs
from the blood. Lazy livers fail in
this hence the accumulation of bac
teria. These poisons over-run the
system reach the stomach, bowels,
heart, lungs, bronchials, kidneys,
nerves and brain then the only nat
ural consequence follows: SICK
NESS! All liver trouble MUST be rem
edied before the body can regain a
healthy, natural condition and to ac
complish this, in the best, safest,
quickest manner use
Rocky Mountain Tea
Nature's remedy, consisting of harm
less, medicinal herbs, roots, leaves
and seeds. This famous blood-food
goes to the seat of trouble acts on
the liver clears the blood gently
expels poisonous waste, through prop
er channels, and quickly puts the Vital
organs in a healthy condition.
Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea is
purely vegetable (containing no pois
onous drugs or minerals) and leaves
no ill after-effects. Get iti Use it
accept no substitutes!
The original and only genuine Hol-
lister'3 Rocky Mountain Tea has been
on the -market for thirty years, and
has helped thousands of peop'e. One
package makes 105 cups of Tea, and
sells tor 35c.
HoIHster's Rocky Mountain Tea Nnerets for tfie
Vny man a convenient package Tablet form
t Ihi BnVndM rmt f..ltr.w ,imnlr
direcitous net well be healthy lronghppyl I
... ..r., uniKi, oui zmn si. j
Vr BVACAA M. SMITH
JN order for Ibe gilded youttia of to
day to linve a pleasant time tbey
must be up iu the air all the time In
their tlylug machines.
Doo't worry your neighbors. It may
be mystifying to them, but 4t Is seldom
a good tuvesUneut.
wbo bate to take
trouble are mas
ter bands at mak
When a woman
takes tbe conceit
out of a man sbe
1 " u,
You'd think tbe clock must be soms
scrt of Infernal machine the way soma
workers watcn it.
The best way to get rid of a grouch
is not to acquire one.
There is nothing like getting used te
the high cost of living except, indeed
having tbe price.
I wonder how they lived befor
We hit these modern pace
And how they carried on their lives
With all the art a and gTacea.
From our outlook upon the world -
How could they be contented
To dub around before the way
To live bad been Invented?
It must have been a poky place
In day of Cain and Abel.
They couldn't elevate their feet
And put them on the table.
Thpy couldn't take a motorboat
And down the bay go ekiramlnff.
When they essayed to cross a creek
They bad to so in swimming-.
The news they had was stale Indeed,
A lot of auclent fables.
They couldn't get It fresh and hot.
Because they had no cables.
If something; strange was told to them
Quite likely they would doubt It.
If It occurred ten miles away
They'd never bear about It.
But still they lived and loved and laughed
And answered calls to dinner.
They didn't worry over trains
And at their desks grow thinner.
But still when all the tale la told '
Perhaps they were aa happy.
Though we are glad the times we're In
Are just a shade more snappy.
"There's a fellow that is never bard
"How do yon know?"
"I never yet saw him lattgb at a
rich man's Joke."
"Are you making good?"
"No; not a bit."
"Is that so?"
"What's the reason?"
"Because I am being good.'
Know the Sort?
"What is good for deafneas In
"I notice a shingle helps ours a
Her Tongue Helped.
"Auntie, let me see your thumb."
"Here it is. child."
"Why. It is so little."
"What did you expect?"
"Ma says you keep Uncle Charlie us
"He is enormously wealthy."
"How do yon know?"
"Well, be doesn't pay any taxes."
"Do yon love me more than yon used
"Because there Is more of you."
"Ben has an awful hot temper."
"How does he manage to control It?"
"Oh, he's married:"
The Happy Femily.
"He Is going to the dogs."
"What is tbe matter?"
"nis wife's gone to the cats, I sup
pose." Sure Enough.
"Money makes tbe world go rouad."
"Yes. and It does more."
"Makes It come back."
"The professor says strawberries are
"I had often wondered what miide
them taste so good."
"She Is his second wife."
"Why did he marry her?"
"He beard she nuide her own bats."
'Are you-a married man?"
'Not Just at present: no!"
Work 24 Hours a Day.
The busiest little things ever mad
are Dr. King's New Life Pills. Every
pill 13 a sugar coated globule ol
health, that changes weakness info
stivrgth, languor Into energy, brain
fa? into mpnf ql timu-at .ti.i.i,
gtipation, headache, chills, dyspepsia.
malaria. 25 cents at all druggists.
i ir -1 e