Newspaper Page Text
THE.KOCK ISLAXD ARGUS, MONDAY, JULY 25, 1010.
Published Daily and Weekly at 102
Eecond avenue. Rock Island. 111. t En
ured at the posiofllee as second-clas
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dally. 10 cent per week.
Weekly, i per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
rharacter. political or religious, must
liave real name attached for publica
tion. No such articles' will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from rer7
township in Rock Island county.
COUNCIL ;3 5
Monday, July 25, 19C10.
Chicago has Inaugurated a crusade
against the distribution of handbills.
Good move. Let us hope it will spread.
Speaker Cannon's appeals for party
regularity are vigorously seconded by
privilege. The trusts are cheering him
to the echo.
Senator Cummins continues to re
iterate that the course of the republi
can party during the last congress was
not in harmony with party pledges or
the interests and welfare of the people.
Secretary Knox of the state depart
ment is quietly cooling himself at Val
ley Forge, Pa., while Japan, Russia,
Germany and Nicaragua are showing
unusual activities in their own state
The government of the United
States, so far as the executive depart
ment is concerned, with the president
and every member of the cabinet away
from Washington and three of them
abroad, is practically out of business
or at least running itself.
The governor of Colorado has called
the legislature In extra session for
Aug. 9 to consider legislation for the
initiative and referendum, the Austra
lian ballot, direct primaries, guaranty
of bank deposits, a public service com
mission and a railway commission.
Evidently the corporations have slipped
their hold on the governor's office, the
incumbent of which is a real progres
sive. The latest thing in steamships Is a
mosquito-proof craft, specially design
ed for use between Liverpool and West
African ports. The Jonathan Holt is
the name of the new departure, which
xi-ss hnilt n n Th Plvite Prnfp;t:nr Dnti.
aid Ross' recommendations have been I
carried out by the owners for mos- i
quito-proofing all living quarters. Cojv
per gauze fittings are provided for all
doors, windows, side ports, skylights,
ventilators and passages to prevent the
malaria-bearing mosquito entering.
A New New Jersey.
The state of New Jersey is gradu
ally becoming civilized. For a great
many years that state has been famous j
only for three of its products law- j
violating corporations, mosquitoes, and '
anarchists. These products, though
perhaps not considered particularly de-
sirable, were undoubtedly of first class !
quality. Not so very long ago, how-:
ever, the state of New Jersey passed j
laws which put an end to the wild-cat ,
corporation business, and for some rea- j
son or other the anarchists have been
remarkably quiet and inoffensive.
This lefc only the mosquitoes, and
now New Jersey is at the point of
emancipating itself of these pestifer
ous insects which in the past contribu
ted so much to make tiie state famous
or rather notorious. It is reported that
the war against the mosquitoes in New
Jersey, which has been carried on for i
several years, has caused a marked ;
falling off in the mosquito chop this j
Lynn, Mass., Xet.
Cities desiring advertising should
keep up plenty of agitation for the com
mission form of government.
Lynn, Mass., is among the cities to
most recently gtart general agitation In the first place, being a fiction nura
In this direction. That city has had ; ber, it contains some of the best
the old farcical form of government j stories that have appeared in any
by wards. It has a large and unwieldy ' magazine in a long time. John Flem
city council handling the affairs of the ! ing Wilson writes a splendid sea
city with customary extravagance. la( k;Tor' of adventure; R. F. Foster, the
of ability and general disregard for tho ' card expert, contributes a great
interests of the people, while special
attention has been paid, of course, to
the interests of the petty, pestiferous,
professional politicians whose creatures
many of the councilmen are in Lynn,
as in every other chy where the old
bunglesome aldermar.ic form of gov
ernment is in vogue.
A Men's Federation was formed in
Lynn. Able men took hold of the move
ment, went before the state legisla
ture and secured an act under which,
next October, the people of Lynn may
choose between the maladministration
and mismanagement of aldermanic.
rule and the progressive, business-like
governmental system of a plan similar
to that which has prospered in the city
of Des Moines and nearly one hundred
other cities in the country in the past
When the returns are in we expect
to hear that Lynn, Mass., has helped
itself to better conditions and helped
other cities throughout the state un
joining the progressive commission
form of government procession.
Where the Tariff Hits.
The people in Detroit have a snap.
When a man in the American city
wants a suit of clothes, he is told by
the dealer that the best he can do is
$25, whereupon the Detroit man dons
an old and worthless suit, crosses the
river to Windsor, buys identically the
same suit for $15, puts it on his back
and comes home, showing that the
tariff is a tax and that it has a great
deal to da with the high cost of living.
In order to make this plain, the follow
ing table has been prepared, showing
the difference in the cost of living in
Windsor and in Detroit:
Price in Price in
Birtter, best, per lb $0.28
Ecef, cheapest cut 06
Pork, mess 13
Bacon, breakfast 19
Cheese, per lb 11
Turkeys, dressed 20 .25
Plug tobacco, per lb 1.00 2.50
Stetson hats 3.00 5.00
As an offset to this, we are told that
the Payne-Aldrich bill has enormously
increased the importations from abroad,
and that the treasury is now full to
overflowing. This shows how it is
kept full. People who pay taxes may
not relish the glorious benefits caused
by the tariff, but all such will be told
that they are simply ungrateful, . and
they do not realize that this is the best
government under the shining stars.
Check the Auto Maniac.
Scarcely a day passes that human life
somewhere does not pay the toll for reck
less auto driving. T wo disasters occurred
right here at home Saturday evening,
one in the city and one on Fort Arm
strong avenue. Rock Island arsenal. A
tragedy attended the accident on Fourth
avenue near Nineteenth street, when a
loaded taxicab ran into an old man,
bore him to the earth and crushed out
his life. While the circumstances may
tend to show that the driver of the ma
chine was not exceeding the speed
limit, there was sufficient confusion to
result in the loss of life.
The collision between a rapidly
driven auto car and a vehicle on Fort
Armstrong avenue was attended by the
smashing of the rig and the narrow es
cape of the occupants. That was a
clear case of reckless running, and,
more than that, reckless indifference
on the part of the occupants of the car
to 'the consequences. Without halting
to investigate the damage, they sped
on. leaving their victims to their fate,
regardless of what that fate might
have been. Had one or more people
been killed, there would have been no
more evidence of care on tha part of
those responsible for the accident.
The Argus has repeatedly comment
ed upon the disregard for speed limita
tions in the government of auto cars,
and has urged time and again the adop
tion of uniform regulations, with suffi
cient penalties and enforcement to
bring owners and drivers 'to a realiza
tion of the fact that they do not own
or control tho road. A mere fine is not
always sufficient. A jail sentence would
bring some of the more intollerant to
their tenses. Not. only should a maxi
mum speed be fixed and enforced for
orfl!'nary "inning, but a rule
apply to the approaching of corners.
requiring both the sounding of a sig-
n:l1 3,1,1 tho slowing tlown to 1erfect j
Human life 13 not so cheap that it 1
! mav bo placed in peril by speed
maniacs. Accidents will happen with
the best of care and under the most
rigid precautions. It is the dirty of
the authorities to minimize tho danger
and make those suffer who jeopardize
July 25 in American
1S14 - l'-.ii 1 i- "1 i.i! niy's La in', t'anad:.
between Iiritisli and American,
one of the fiercest struggles ever
fo'ight on American soil.
1SC General Sam Houston. Texas pa
triot, at one time governor of Ten
nessee and Inter of Texas, died at
Iluntsviile. Tex.; born 170:5.
1SnS General Miles' force landed at
: Porto Itico and began the conquest
I of Spanish garrison,
j 100D Llizabetii Taylor Dandrige,
! daughter of President Za chary
! Taylor and mistress of the White
House during his term, died at
Winchester. Va.; born 1824.
FIELD OF LITERATURE
; The August American Magazine.
The August American Magazine is an
achievement in periodical publishing.
bridge yarn; David Grayson describes
some more of his delightful "adven
tures in contentment;" Neith Boyoe
tells a charming love tale; "A Wo
man," by James Oppenheim, is pow
erful and compelling, while the story
entitled. "Achievement." by the not
ed English author, J. C. Snaith, is a
spellbinder. Secondly, the more ser
ious features in the magazine ar ex
ellently balanced. Another article
of the series "Barbarous Mexico" ex
poses the outrageous treatment of
the natives in Mexico by the soldiers
of Diaz. It is written by a trained
nurse, who describes the things she
has actually witnessed. "Some Ten
nis Champions," by Arthur S. Pier,
is an excellent review of the work
and battles of the great tennis play
ers, the photographs being especially
good and interesting. Jane Addams
tells how the work among the poor
in Chicago is carried on under the
direction of Hull-House. George
Fitch writes a very laughable article
about our "cruelty to presidents,"
and the superintendent of weights
and measures for the state of New
York describes the tradesmen's
temptation to cheat by using false
weights and short measures Stewart
Edward White's "The abin," and
W'illiam J. Locke's "Simon the Jes
ter" both come to a conclusion in
this issue. The department of "In
teresting People," "Plays and Play
ers," "Interpreter's House," and "The
Pilgrim's Scrip" are also unusually
good. Thirdly and perhaps its most
attractive feature are the many col
ored pictures and decorations
throughout the issue. The publish
ers have been lavish in this respect
and as a result of their exceptionally
attractive and excellently edited
BOY A LINGUIST
Grandson of John D. Rocke
feller, 7 Years of Age, Is
a Remarkable Lad.
NEW PLAN OF INSTRUCTION
Tutor Knows How to Make Him
Anxious to Study Can Converse
in German and French.
In these days of modern teaching,
when the dead languages are falling
like dead leaves from the educational
tree, it is indeed unusual to bear of a
seveu-ye:ir-i!d boy who nut only reads
Latin, but talks Latin, and the fact
becomes the more interesting when it
is known that this seven-year-old boy
is no college professor's sou, but John.
D. Rockefeller I'nuiiec. grandson of
the oil king and so;i cf i. I'armalee
Prentice, whose summer home is at
Whiln the boy and his training are
interesting, they are not more so than
the personality and theories ofc his
tutor, Arcadi'.is Avelianus, a Hunga
rian by birth. who is demonstrating
iu a practical way his belief that the
Latin language is a live language
much more alive than the modern me
chanical teachers of Latin.
The tutor's name is Latin, and lie
talks Latin as if he came from some
unknown land where the old language
I. ntln Only Study.
Lr.tln is the
su'-ije t which Mr.
is studying this sum-
mer, although h
talks German with
hls German governess and French
with his mother. His studying Is un
der conditions far different from those
of the average boy. His schoolroom
is the broad veranda of a many gabled,
green roofed house beneath the shad
ow of the hills that shelter Williams
college in fact as well i;s in song.
Jchn himself is a merry little chubby
faced lad with a direct and serious ex
pression in his blue eyes that breaks
up into a smile that carries everything
i before it when the boy is amused or
This tutor does not instruct in the
mechani?al text boo!; fashion that cus
tom has accepted, but by beginning
with the language in a simple natural
way. "Yon would not start an Ameri
can boy learning English on the writ
ings of Shakespeare." says he. "Then
why should you start the I. ruin scholar
on advanced literature before he is
ready to grasn it
i 110 oegins e;s leacniog wirn trie com
i monplaces of everybody conversation
until the pupil becomes fluent and
familiar in natural use of simple
words. Then he tells the boy Latin
fables, familiarizes him with the Latin
words and the story, aiul lets the boy
tell tho story back to him in. the boy's
own Ijitin words. "The grammar we
will take up later. bt:t not yet," he ex
plains. "When the boy gets through
he will have a foundation for his edu
cation that will not bo like the wooden
stand supporting the golden cross of
so many college degrees."
SULTAN'S ARCHIVES DYNAMITE
Present Officials Dre-d Revelation cf
When the Young Turks captured the
Yildiz palace in Constantinople, be
sides jewel" and treasures, they en
tered into the'possession of the whole
collection of secret reports which had
accumulated there during over a quar
ter of a century, thanks to the activity
and industry of Abdul H.amid s secret
agents. These archives of treachery,
corruption and intrigue have not yet
even been counted, but they fill 300
odd cases which have been stored at
the war oCice. A special commission
is engaged in classifying these reports,
but has been r.ble to examine only
about half so far.
This heritage of the old regime is
threatening to prove a Pandora's box
for the new government. The archives
contain evidence and records of the
shame of so many oCiclals and others
who yielded to the corruption of the
secret service that their publication
would create incredible confusion and
The world's most successful medi
cine for bowel complaints is Cham
berlain's CoTic, Cholera and Diar
rhoea Remedy. It has relieved more
pain and suffering, and saved more
lives than any other medicine in use.
Invaluable for children and adults.
Sold by all druggists.
Used in the White House
Cleaner Try It
YOU must have heard about
Yankee Cleaner hew it
will clean anything: that
can be cleaned woodwork,
glass, silver, metals, sinks,
bath tubs is economical
.little goes a long way labor
saving, no backache 'pure'
no acids or chemicals
money back if dissatisfied
"vhy don't you try it now
For Yankee Cleaner
Ask Your Dealer
Most good dealers carry
Yankee Cleaner if yours
iotsn't, he can easily get it
AMERICAN CARDINAL'S BIRTHDAY
i p-: : '-7
1 K-y;-ir - v . M , 1 i
I '-'.' - j'-, . !
K. J-iJ Iff ' wi! -4 1
I -' V ' y k -vJ',: -t 1! !
a -jr &jASXtza:ii: G&BQJX'& - nil
ALTIMORE, MD. James Gibbons, the only cardinal or the Roman
Catholic church in the United States, is quietly celebrating his seventy-sixth
birthday at his residence here. He was born in this city
July 23, 1834, five years after the arrival of his parents from Ireland
and at an early age was taken back to the Emerald Isle, where his edu
cation was begun. In 1848 he returned to America. June 30 of next year
Cardinal Gibbons will celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of his ordination
as a priest and the twenty-fifth anniversary of his elevation to the rank
The Argus Daily Short Story
Her Place By T. W. Windham.
Copyrighted. 1910. by Associate-- LJterm ry Press.
Margaret Trentham, a fair Uostoaian.
stood in a room in a German pension.
She was speaking to a young man, like
herself a musician.
"Yon don't realize what it means to
me, Mr. Tolstoy. This is my last turn
here and the concert tomorrow my
only opportunity of playing publicly in
"But the circumstances are excep
tional," he urged. "It happens that
Professor Meyerhaus Is in Leipzig re
cruiting violinists for his American
tour, and it occurred to me that per
haps he would include me in his or
chestra as solo pianist''
"By engaging me Meyerhaus wordd
save the huge tecs demanded by musi
cians who have made a name, and for
me" a par.se gavt? additional weight
to his words "it means possibly the
opening of a career. I should come
before the public at once and without
expense instead f returning to Amer
ica to drudge at teaching, because I
do not possess t lie means to make an
p. ut you forget." she added in
self vindication, "i have rehearsed
with tho orchestra throughout the
term. u?ul the conductor will not Ap
prove of a change at the last mo
ment." "I have already obtained his permis
sion" he began.
"Then if he is willing for you to
play why does he allow the decision
to rest with me'.'" she brolie in.
The tension of a u:omentary silence
tried hi::i beyond endurance, Rising,
he walked to tho deor, pausing at the
"Forgive the intrusion. Unfortu
nately 1 misled myself with the belief
that you would willingly cede a chance
to a professional, being yourself an
amateur and iudenendent. I can only
hope that your triumph tomorrow" he
lingered on the word in conscious
Irony "will a tone for the vexation of
A large cosmopolitan audience filled
the Conservatoire hall for the final
concert of the season.
An attendant opened the piano in
readiness for the concerto as the pian
ist came forward, escorted by the mas
ter under whom she had studied.
She seated herself at the instrument,
and a little ripple of applause broke
from the balcony. Glancing upward in
6hy acknowledgment, she met the
steadfast gaze of a man seated imme
diately facing her. who vouchsafed but
the merest glance of recognition and
resumed the study of a music score
lying on his knees.
The players lowered their bow hands
for several bars' rest. In the lull pre
ceding the excerpt for the solo instru
ment the sound of a sharp indrawn
breath struck downward through the
The baton beat on steadily three
No answering chord from the pian
ist. The conductor glared at her
aghast, the orchestra in undisguised
surprise. She started slightly, and the
color flamed into her cheeks.
The baton swooped down again.
"One, franlein!" The conductor
leaned forward, half frantic. "Have
you forgotten?" he hissed.
A soft, le-'el voice prompted sudden
ly from t'-e balcony. "The allegro
movement, ey A flat minor, extended
She glanced swiftly forward with a
little Impulsive gesture and rose iu
ber seat, faced the conductor, flashed
a dance of swift defiance and passed
with bead ere.t tnruugii rows or tnun
dersrruck 'usicl.ms to the platform
Bewildered comments were exchang
ed throughout the hall, and the nota
bility in thp stalls adjusted its spec
tacles rath' irritably and awaited de
velopments. "These Americans: These Ameri
cans:" chafed the conductor, beside
himself wj"- rage; then he hurled an
order at the doorkeeper, pointing to
"Herr Tolstoy: Fetch him immedi
The man at the end had already dls
appeared, and In the passage connect
ing the platform with the cloakrooms
he encountered the retiring pianist.
"Quick:" she whispered. "The con
ductor called for you."
His face glowed wish trembling,
exultant gratitude. He seized her
hand and started backward conscience
stricken as a tiar fell glistening on her
She rushed past him disconcerted,
paced tho step or two down the pas
sage and turned abruptly to avenge
her moment asy loss of self control is
an outbreak of reproach.
"Why don't you go? My failure
gives you your opportunity. Pray don't
hesitate to avail yourself."
"I'm sorry, so sorry" be began.
"Do go:" she reiterated less harshly.
"They will continue the program. It
will be too late in another moment."
Though his hope of the future de
pended ou that moment, he still stood
irresolute, gazing in sheer fascination
at the tear s faired, imperious f::ce.
"Do go: Do please go: It won't
have been nny good if you don't, acd
1 shall never forgive tnvself"
The stentorian voice of the door
keeper rang down the passage, und
she darted tun ugh a doorway.
Her companion followed, stopped a
second, and his lips seared her cheeks.
In the next the platform door closed
An echo renclie.l her of the allegro
rippling, lightening, swirling across the
keys, subdued at intervals to the tu
mult of orchestral accompaniment,
then riuging again, triumphant, quiv
ering at the last with the rapt, exalted
passion of n love son;.', followed by the
silence that is greater than applause.
The pianist himself broke the spell,
rising from his seat. The bc'l shock
with a burst of enthusiasm. He passed
unheeded through the platform exit.
The white haired notability removed
his glasses with a sigh of satisfied en
joyment and turned to his colleague,
his rugged Teutonic features softening
into a smile.
"Your American young ladies do
they often take siage fright? But her
compatriot! He is magnificent: To
play that most difficult concerto with
out notes, without rehearsal touch,
technique perfect: Consider also bis
The director broke in with adroit ex
planation and suggestion. The pro
fessor beamed with delighted recol
lection. "It is the Fame, then, who offered his
services? You are right, my friend,
that I should change my mind, that
the world should hear of him. He
shall go with me on tour."
Twilight In the park, the sharp, gray
twilight of late autumn. A smart elec
tric runabout, with a lady at the lever
and a chauffeur at her side. Joined the
stream of vehicles entering the park
at the Plaza. Her features were only j
partially visible through her nutomo- j
bile veil, but an involuntary exclama-1
ticn broke from a man pawing aimless
ly along the walk.
With the :i:isv.eriTg cry cf recogni
tion she drew u. do.-o to the walk,
heedless of the rules of the road.
Half hesitating. Tolstoy went for
ward. "So you are back in America. Mr.
"Yes." He muttered the monosylla
ble without raising his eyes.
"And I see frm the papers that your
European tour was a great success."
He blurted out a second a!!irr:iati .
For the moment she was slightly
nonplused: then with Infinite tact she j
once more took the initiative.
"You are soon appearing in Now
"Tomorrow at Carnegie hal'.." he re
Iioardmen were parading Lroadway
with uoii' t's of the professor's concert.
It humbled him that -she bad not no
ticed the large type nt the feot of the
boards "Solo pianoforte, Mr. Alfred
He nodded stifTly.
"Of course I shall go. It will be a
great pleasure to me to be present at
your debut," she continued.
"It happens to be the last concert of
the series." he s:id Lily.
"I had no idvi." she begin in n tom;
of eager explanation. "Put. then. I j
haje been traveling abroad a good 1
deal with my p.innts sin.e I saw you
last. We only returned from Switzer
land a couple of days aro." j
The fact ac-nunied f"' her apparent
indifference, and his expression soften-
ed. but he stared moodily before h!ni j
to avoid her eyes, and the handsome
turnout in which s':e was seated with
her liveried chauffeur somehow forced j
on him a se;'..--e of soci;d disparity, j
Wheu she spoke agrin ber voice liad a j
sl-r hesitrit in" ri' I
"I need scarcely usk if you are suc
cessful?" ne produced a memorandum and
read out some details no trace of!
pleasure or enthusiasm in his tone, only
a cynical sort of triumph in the sense j
of achievement. !
"Tomorrow is my final appearance
in New York with Professor Meyer- '
h:;us for the present. I am booked
subsequently for various musical re
ceptions; also the principal concert
agents have made me very flattering j
"Shall I congratulate you?" she ask-
"It you hnd congratulated me that '
night at the Conservatoire." lie broke j
out resentfully, "and given me the op-
portunlty to thank you" j
"You could not expect me to wait. ;
to face every one after my failure.
Resides" she turned away her eyes !
to bide a sudden eonf jsiuu "you !
you had already thauked me." :
"It was not only to thank you He
wns coefusel now. s;nvlir.g with an
increasing desire to make his hopeless ;
"I owe my subsequent suc ess to j
you." he continued pedant ic.illy. j
"No. indeed:" she broke iu eagerly.
"P.ut-1 :i:u glad mere than 1 car. :
say that you have realized your am
"1 suppose I have."
Ills tone gave the lie to the acknowl- j
He had fallen so pitifully short of i
realization. Could she but know: j
Despair overwhelmed the remnant j
of his pride and self control. He '
raised Lis eyes, aflame with his se
"I am still striving." he said halting- j
ly. "for the unattainable." i
She darted a v.estiordng glance, j
The grim while face strained toward
her throTiirli the duk. an. I conviction !
flashed swift upon her. I
She bent impulsively, vlth a r.idi.-.v.t.
triumphant smili. Her voice swayed '
with a little tremor of delight. j
"I think I understand. Put y u are ,
mistaken. For all you know the on-
rttainable mav be within reach.'
Rheumatism Cured in T!irce D-ys.
N. B. Langley, Madison, Wis., says:
"I was almost helpless wi-.h rheuma
tism for about five months. Had It in
my neck so I could not turn my ul
and all through my body. I trlvd throe
doctors and many remedies .vithout j
any reuer wnatever until 1 procure 1
Dr. Detchcn's Relief for Rheumatism.
In a few hours tho pain was relieved
and in three days the rheumatism was
completely cured and I was at woik."
Sold by Otto Grotjan, l.v'l Second
avenue. Rock Island; Gust Schick I
& Son, 223 West Second street. Daven
port. You'll never go back to old f6ri- f"
ionedscrub-bord methods after
you once try PEOSTA. Gst it
next time you're in town. I
Splendid line of switches, puffs,
ringlets aDd Madame Sherry
clusters. Switches and puffs
made ot combings. For ap
pointment call West 953.
Mrs. V. B.BENNAGE
1S27U 2d Av?. Rock Island
Gets tbe -'"S"- i
Vin and spares J li i i ) '
tfce Clotbet vmii
2r 7ifCAJ M. SMITH
gUCCESS seems to justify the means.
Still, you occasionally meet a man
who feels like keeping the means out
i'.lesscd re the iwes of aCversity,
and we piously hope that our enemies
oniy may enjoy tbom.
It takes herculean efforts to raise a
man. but most auy old chump can
puil hici do wd.
SVT IT H-.-eTHl
We can run
nway from out
plaiu duty, but
cons e quences
have an extreme
ly ugly way ol
li u n 1 1 n g us tic
11 n (I driving un
into a corner.
a. V. ' .yf
Attending to others' business Is cer
tainly worth a Hilary. Kit her ste that
you get it or let them run the Job
Sometimes the difference between n
man and u dog is largely in favor of
Some men seem to be entirely Im
mune from any amount of ieuse or
reason that you may attempt to In
fect them with.
Poverty is said to be a barren thing,
but it breed- discomfort and disease
Mother thinks she'll make a doctor out of
Father thinks he'd better f.U a. Judge's
Cncle .I0I1 1 would mold a preacher out ot
Really ctino!nn a profession t a care.
Cousin May would like to iee him grace
Unci George is sure & o)dler'a tra4
Charley nays that ml'.lior.alres are all tha
For a fine profession that Is surely It.
Mother says that at'.e doctors heal the
And are useful to the world In many
Father says the lesal trade is still his
For the lawyers have such f ne and win
Uncle John is sure his choice would be
Uncle Ueorge is pleading strongly for
Cousin May Is fast as certain as tha rest.
Charley's pk li cr j'O' S to l.lrn the only
Oh. It's surely lets of trouble picking; out
A profession for the little cotninR manl
E;ich relation is a Fclf appointed scout
With a d:nsr.i::i his future life to plan.
Tou may womti-r when they all are tak
Why t ;ey do not give the lad himself a
There's a reason he I only six weeks old.
How is oi.e of tencer years like that to
Whils He Waited.
"Are you the girl that took my or
der?" asked tin old grouch us the pret
ty waitress tripped la under the
t eight of her load.
"1 sure am." replied the girl, who
wasn't addli ted to slang, but could
Use it on occasions.
"1 want to compliment you on one
"What's that you're giving me now?"
"It is this: Vou don't look a day Old
er than wluti you took it."
"You never kissed a Irl in your
"Vim d n't know what yon arj miss-in-."
"Yes. I do"
"He lias resist, j every temptation so
My; He mnst boitrons."
"His special LraLd hasu't happened
"Women are terribly hard to under
stand." "Ob. I ilnn't know."
"!!ow is tl a:;"
"I never try. and tbeti'they come in
flo. ks and er.pl.iln the whole thini;."
"lias h' good taste?"
"That's too bail."
"es. but that isn't the worst."
"What could be worse?"
"Ho lias so much of iu"
Trials of a Father.
"I thought you were goin to retire
"I did espoot to. but not yet."
T.uf jott have made money."
"Yes. and I have two more sons-in-law
'Have you si 11 his new magazine?"
"He said it was to be dlfferert. How
Fmnll boats, thi-y say, nhould hug tba
Nor venture out like freighters.
Hut lhoe who no ah'iut In tham
Should r.ot ne tmiiniora.
Work 24 Hcurs a Day.
The busiest litthj things ever made
are Dr. King's New Life Pills. Every
pill is a sugar coated globule of
health, that changes weakness into
strength, languor Into energy, brain
fag into mental power; curing con
stipation, headache, chills, dyspepsia,
malaria. 25 cents at all druggist.