Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLAND ARGUS, SATURDAY, AUGUST 13, 1910..
Published Dally and Weekly at 16
Cecond avenue. Rock Island, 111. tEn
(red at the poatomce at seoond-clas.i
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS, Dally. 10 cents par weak.
Weekly, II par year In advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
have real name attached" for public
tlon. No such articles wlU be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
C TRADES fHgjgyj COUNCIL
Saturday, August 13, 1910,
I hereby announce myself as a can
dldate for the democratic nomination
for minority representative In the Thlr
-ty-thlrd senatorial district, and ask the
support of all democrats who deem me
worthy. J. a SLOAN.
Boom the town along all legitimate
Now la that Be!t line going to Bag
Gaynor seems to be the gainer de
spite the devilish deed. '
The "bargain-hunter" who studies
the ads is also a bargain-finder.
Written your out of town friends
about this year's exposition yet?
President Taft may get a chance
to practice what he is preaching
about long vacations in a couple of
years or so. "
Senator Guggenheim is going to "in
sist on an indorsement." That's easy,
senator. Should all other means fail,
Bellinger will give you one.
Vice President Sherman's name wa3
filer, mentioned in telegrams. Sunny
Jim may be Innocent, but the McMur
ray syndicate certainly thought he
' was available.
'."..shington ha3 the wor
nii.. :he highest death rate of any
city in the country. When congress
is in session Washington has other
The Question has been raised a3, to
whether a woman iu one of the new
"hobble" skirts would run from, a
racuse, screech for help or Just stand
still and laugh at it
An Instrument which Is being used
in London hospitals enables a doctor
to see the interior of the patient's
stomach. Being a London doctor
must be disagreeable.
The sum and substance of Senator
Aldrich's reply to crit'es aaent the tariff
is that if there are any shortcomings
In the late bill he does not know it
and if he dooa know it it !s nobody's
It is estimated that Americans
have been swindled out of $9,000,
000 In Mexican rubber Bchemes.
Think cf the automobiles dr duck
trousers that money would have
The latest news from Beverly is
in effect that President Taft is con
fronted with the somewhat unpleas
ant, but -altogether necessary duty
of casting Aldrich, Cannon and Bal
linger overboard. They never should
have been taken aboard.
"He had deprived me of my bread
ard butter," said the man who shot
Mayor Gaynor. "Say good-bye to the
people," whispered the executive,
who believed that he was dying. One
thought himself aggrieved, the other
prepared to meet his Maker with a
ctnscience clear and unafraid.
The proposition to provide Rock Is
land county with a new jail building
- is meeting with favor on every" hand.
There has scarcely been a grand Jury
in years that has failed to condemn
the antequated structure as unsanitary,
Inhuman and unsafe from every view
point. It ought to be. replaced by a
Fish and the Meat Bills.
Among the articles of food eaten
' in this .country thd price of fish to
the consumer has advanced less than
any other during the last quarter
of a century, says the September
Technical World magazine. So far
it is almost the qnly permanent fac
tor in the cost of living, nor does
It show symptoms of any immediate
increase or diminution. - The state-
" ment might perhaps be disputed by
those who buy fresh fish in the mar
fcets of the North Atlantic seaboard
cities but the price of fresh fish has
always fluctuated with the supply ob
tainable on the particular day when
the consumer wanted it, .and has
therefore little or nothing to do wth
general conditions. Price is here an
arithmetical problem depending on
the number of vessels unloading fish;
the more vessels at the wharves the
lower the price of fish at the fish
market and the less money to be Al
vided among the crews of the ves
sels. Fluctuating as It does even in
the course of .a few hours, the high
est price of a fresh mackerel today
is just about what it would have been
25 years ago and so is the lowest.
V The salt fish industry is a different
matter . In which the steadiness of
price has almost the. immovability of
a salt fish when compared with a
live one. It is this, phase of the fish
eries, represented by a yearly output
from Gloucester, Mass., of about 40,-
000,000 pounds of salt fish, to say)
nouung or something over 10,000.-,
AAA . ... .. . .
vw puuuus oi picKiea, mat np in
the last Quarter of a century grad
ually Included every state in the- un
ion as a market fci" fish from Glou
cester, a seaboard city of summer
residents who flatter themselves it
would be dead without them, and of
a thriving old industry, now In the
process of modernization, whose pe
culiarity is that the deader the town
looks the busier it is in reality.
WUJ Try to Make Rank and File
Underneath the surface there is war
raging in the republican party rank
and file in Rock Island county, over the
cut and dried program that has been
framed up by the bosses and which in
volves the state machine headed by
Governor Deneen and represented in
the county by County Chairman Joseph
Defcilva. Parading as the undisputed
leader of the party with rights reserved
unto himself to dictate who shall be
considered as worthy of party consider
ation and to squelch the ambitions of
those whom he deems unworthy, the
eh-ef DeSilva aim now is to return F.
A. Iandee to the state senate. All else
must be subordinated to that end. To
the filling of the lowest place on the
county ticket this all pervading thought
must be held as-uppermost.
While the republicans have slept
they have been caught oft their guard.
The combination has been completed.
There may be those who have ambi
tions, but unless there is a marked
change in the trend of events they
must abandon them for the time being.
The Deneen-DeSilva-Landee machine
has got the republican party in Rock
Island county by the neck.
The rank and file must swallow the
Insurgency ) is rampant throughout
the middle west and the western
states, and lis making headway in
the east. What does it. mean? What
is the significance of this rebellion
within the republican ranks? It is
protest, says the Boston Traveler.
The great republican party, once the
party of personal freedom and hu
man rights, bias become the party
of Industrial slavery and the guar
dian of property rights. Decade by
decade it has fostered a system of
legislation and control that has
! placed a. business oligarchy at the
head of Industry and government,
and made popular rule more and
more of a mockery;.
The fact has become so clear, the,
issue between 'property rights and
human rights I so definitely drawn,
that honest republicans who wear
no plutocratic (goggles and do not
bow the knee Sn partisan Idoltary
will no longer tolerate such ; abuses.
These men are insurgents, as the
founders of the ', republican party
were insurgents. '.They arettrying to
bring the republican party back to
first principles. IThey want to free
the slaves of the? new social system,
and guarantee them human rights
henceforth. And If there fis any sal
vation for the republican ; party, the
way to that saflvation
Is. pointed by j
Ask Your Conj'rressinan.
There appeared a ttmely article, in
i he August Everybody's entitled "Ask
Ycvr Congressman," by Fred C. Howe,
who suggested .that the best way to
make congress represent the people
was to ask congressmen to define their
positions on the greatjpublic questions
priar to election.
. The light is to make congress do its
duty by the people;jand if the reader is
interested and believes that the meth
od Mr. Howe advocales has value, wnj
not take a hand.
Here is a blank form Everybody's
Magazine is sending out. If its reader
tr.tK tn If- ho mfUr rut fr nut fill It In
. ..... . . .
and man it to congressional candidates
in this district.signing.it and asking
for its return with the "questions
swered and signed by the candidate:
Candidate for House or Representa
tivts from the District
rar Sir; ,
As a voter of this district, I wish to
ask you these questions. I feel that
these are issues of extreme import
ance and that I can cast;my vote more
intelligently if I know your position
Yours very truly,
If elected to congress, will you vote
1 For Cannon for speaker?
2. To take away from the speaker
the power of appointing committees
and give it to the house?
3. To revise the tariff again, so that
it will represent only the difference in
wage cost of production? between the
UnUed States and foreign countries?
1. To authorize the Interstate Com
merce commission to regulate rates on
the basi3 of a physical valuation of
5. To authorize the Interstate Com
merce commission to limit the insur
ance of stock and bonds to the actual
C. For the direct election of United
?. For a reorganization of the post
ofilce department, and the appointment
of a permanent director of posts?
a. For a bill to prevent the govern
ment from selling any more of Its min
eral deposits, the same to be leased ut
adequate rentals and for moderate
S. For a bill to prevent the govern
raent'from Belling any more of Its ex
isting water sites, the same to be
leased as above? -
Anarchists Avenge Betrayal.
Four heavy guns In Cherbourg for
tress were recently found to be useless
owing to the. disappearance of essen
tial parts of their mechanism. Later
the mystery' was solved. A soldier
named Beau was arrested, denounced
by an anarchist of Italian nationality
wba. ,was detailed by. a. secret society
KAISER ENTERTAINS AMERICANS ON HIS YACHT
- C a.'
T Is said. that Americans are not
9 many still counts many of them
yacht Hohenzollern. .The illustration accompanying is from a photograpn or one of these yachting parties,
the lady at the kaiser's immediate right being Mrs. Goelet of New York.
in Jtanit' in uv cii;-,t liuu'ti betraying
some members of the sot-iety in 1007
Boschini. the anarchist, secured work
ns a mason near the fortress where
Beau was quartered. Boschini induce
Beau to steal the sights and other
parts of the guns. Then he denounced
HAS DETACHABLE AIRSHIP.
Germany Bscks Expariments In Novel
Count Frederick von Moltke, nephew
of the grest field marshal. bes formed
a company to construct a fleet of air
ships especially designed for military
purposes. The government has prom
ised to assist the enterprise as soon as
a trial dirigible has been finished and
The vessels will be capable of carry
ing liarht guns and a quantity of ex
plosives. The type chosen Is a pecul
iar triple y.ovn friHoou. which within
a sinjde -framework of Canadian fir
contains really three motor balloons,
each with its own motor and each de
tachable in two minutes, together with
its own share of the framework.
Thus on arrival over the enemy the
front balloon can l.e quickly detached
to take back to headqns'.riers any dis
patches, photographs and so forth;
the rear balioou c::n follow with later
news, while the middle part remains
to take part in the fight and drop
bombs over the enemy. All three
parts can be put together again rap
idly. The wboTe construction i SCO feet
lone. The effective lifting power after
deduction cf the r.irs hip's own weight
;".id the weight of the cars r.nd ina-
liinery is 11.0f:o ptnmds. The entire
fi'amework ran e quickly dismount
ed in sections. i;a U prrr of th triple
bnllooa can also Ik- :;:r.-l:'i-ed separate
ly. No Record Canadian Crop.
It is doubtful whether the crop yield
of western Canada will exceed that of
a year ago. despite the increased acre
age. All reports agree, however, that
nothing approaching a crop failure is
No amount of effort to save th.
world can make up for failure to snc
Yifice for the salvation of your own
little world. Henry F. Cope.
Th3 Best Hour of Life
til whpn vnn lln KfiTno o rnu t AnaA n-n rta
j & "u " u"
j cover some wonderful fact. Th!s hour
an-'came to J. R. Pitt of Rocky Mt., N. C,
when he was suffering intensely, as he
Fays, "from the worst cold I ever had,
T then proved to my great satisfaction,
v hat a wonderful cold and cough cure
Dr. King's New Discovery is. For,
after taking one bottle, I. was entirely
cured. You ccfc't say anything too
good of a medicine like that." Its the
suregt and best remedy 'for diseased
lungs, hemorrhages, lagrlppe, asthma,
hay fever, and throat or lung trouble.
5C cent3, $1. Trial bottle free. Guar
anteed by all druggists.
r J keeperswholtakeTpndo ,
inTthe icako1, they? bake." for,
and fall Social Functions.
Qnca In your home'you Willi
continue to use it.A& trial
? package , will , convince fybu
iTry it and tell your,friends.T
Costs on ly ! 2 c per. Ca ke.T
JaDie DooKXDrjmfuiof Cake
Recipes and information 'on
I FREE on receiotof 2cstamcl
' Address Dep't vtVMts
A MASS OF EVIDENCE
SEE -PAPERS AUG. 16
f1 K-&x&Me3AS I
especially In favor with the new- king
among his personal friends, and often
TJie Argus Daily Short Story
A Diplomat By Samuel E. Brant.
Copyrighted, 1910, by Associated Literary Press.
James Maitluud. son of an admiral
in the U. S. navy, fell in love with and
married Mile. Julie de Lavalle. the
daughter of a French diplomat wbo
had spent many years in the French
service, a considerable portion of
which time he resided in Washing
ton. M. de Lavalle never represented
his country as ambassador; be was an
adept at secret methods then In vogue
between nations, but. since the open
diplomacy of the late Secretary Hay,
now largely done away with. When
any quick Machiavellian work was to
be executed it fell to Lavalle.
Maitland and Mile, de Lavalle
were married while the groom was
employed fi. itie state department
At the time the Panama canal was
being located and there was any
amount of chicanery perpetrated both
as to its location and the prevention
of its location both by Central and
North Americans. Then came young
Maitland's opportunity. One morning
the secretary sent for him, handed blm
a dispatch and told him that he wish
ed him to take It to the United States
consul at Vera Cruz, who would see
that it reached its destination.
Delighted at being thus enabled to
make' a beginning in. his' profession,
Maitland te-o'.c thr dispatch it was
placed in if ofllciaf envelope of the
state department addressed to the con
suland was about to leave when the
secretary said to him:
"It is essential that the information
contained in that envelope reaches our
consul in Vera Cruz on or before the
13th. After that date It will -be too
late. It is well that you'sbould know
that its prompt, delivery will Involve
f making r the failure to make
"f dollars by certain capltal--.ill
'. bercfore be very guard
i kir.g of your mission and
.!! Ihf dispatch. I send It to
. nr. by you in order that no
;.f this fountry may know its ul
timate destination. Nevertheless there
are plenty of spies about, and we, may
have them right here In the state de
partment. Le careful, and good luck
When Maltlacd went home and with
the exhilnratlon of youth told his wife
cf bis mission, its importance, consid
ering the interests involved, and all
that, she failed to show a similar en
"Vhat is It. pet?' be said. "Ton
don't seem pleased."
'.Timniie." he replied, "you will
n?vor get it through."
"They will steal it from you."
"What makes you think so. Julie?"
"From a little girl 1 have beard rcj
father tell t'ju ways people take to out
wit one another. I kuow all about if
You know nothing."''
However, the little woman packed
htr husband's suit case all the bag
gage he proposed to take then took
the dispatch to the library, and when
she returned handed her husband a boi
of cigars. He opened it and removed
the top layers and below was an en
velope addressed to Senora Sanchez,
Mexico City, in Mme. Maltlaud's own
"Little one, you're a brick." said the
young diplomat. "I see your scheme,
It would never do to leave the dis
patch in my suit case under cover of a
Ftate department envelope, would it?"
"No. Now, Jlmmie, do be careful of
(be suit case and don't let It out of
your sight a moment."
Maitland gave her a dozen klsse3.
picked up the suit case, called a car
riage and started for the train. He
reached New York during the after
noon and went at once on board the
steamer which was to sail early the
next morning. De was about to lock
his stateroom door on tbe suit case,
when, remembering that there might
be other keys that would unlok it.
he took the dispatch out from under
the'eigars and put It in 'his pecket. If
he was followed, with a Tlew of steal
ing tbe document,' his baggage was
surely the first place the thief would
look for It. In order to discover if the
case bad been opened tor the purpose,
in replacing t he r cigars be laid all of
those on the top row with tbe ends In
the same direction except one. which
he reversed. Having done this he
went on deck Sot aiF
The next morning Maitland . found
of Ecgland, but the emperor of Ger-
entertains them on board the imperial
himself out ou i:k- .uiaulk- oceau bead
ing for the Cult of Mexico. He walk
ed the deck alone, having resolved not
to make n single acquaintance, lu tbe
afternoon be went to bis stateroom for
a nap. and before lyiug down it occur
red to him to examine bis suitcase.
Not that he really expected to finfl
evidence of any one having been there,
but simply to satisfy himself that It
was as be bad left it.
Wbat ws his astonishment to find
very cigar in the box laid in the same
direction. The one he bad placed dif
ferently had been reversed.
The discovery took bis breath away
After all. his wife was right. If there
were those cn.his track who bad al
ready shown swb skill in hunting for
the document, what more would they
do? Instinctively he clapped bis hand
to his breast pocket. The dispatch
was there. But lie did not feel as
sured that !t would be there when he
arrived at Vera Cruz. He vowed that
no one should during tbe passage come
within arm's length of blm.
He napped in bis berth and read a
novel which he had brought with him
during the afternoon and evening, not
leaving bis stateroom. Tbe next morn
ing be passed on deck. He expected
every moment that some man would
attempt to make his acquaintance. No
man did. but a very pretty young wo
man sittiDg la a steamer chair looked
at him as be parsed her and cast down
her long Ppnnksh lashes. Every time
he passed in pacing back and forth"
she gave him the same glance and tbe
same downward sweep. He suspected
her at once and put himself on bis
Wltfi tbe exception of the Spanish
woman there was no evidence of any
person or persons shadowing him. Hut
on tbe second day ut an oI:J lady with
very white hair ciiin1 up tlu cumpan-
lonwav and lonktvl ::'.''Ut for n seat.
The ship -was rolliv.g. and Maitland
taking bold of htr arm. supported her
to a Bteasner oh ilr. ."!:; tha:it;ed him.
but he would have nothing-to do with
her. Surely he bad reason to suspect
every one. Tbe old lady besides thank
ing him made some commonplace re
mark, to which it would have been po
lite for bim to respond, but he turned
from her as though she bad some In
Several times after that be surveyed
her from a distance and noticed that
she looked very peculiar. Indeed, after
scrutinizing her one afternoon as she
sat dozing in her steamer chair it oc
curred to him that she was a young
person disguised as an old woman.
When the day before tbe ship was
due at Vera Cruz be saw her and the
young Spanish woman sitting side by
side and talking confidentially he made
up his mind that they bad been sent
out from Washington to steal bis dis
patch and that one or both of them had
already opened his suit case. Prob
ably one did tbe work while the other
A few hours before his arrival in port
Maitland went to his stateroom, took
the dispatch from his pocket and look
ed at it. He felt very happy. If he
had got it so far on the Journey despite
those who were trying to get it from
him surely he could do wbat little.re-
mained. Replacing It, be picked up t
cigarette case, which be bad left on a
shelf, lighted a cigarette and. flying
down with his novel, began to read.
He soon became drowzy and fell asleep.
When be awoke tbe ship was in port.
He felt nauseated. Something had
happened. He clapped his hand to bis
The dispatch was gone.
"Beaten after all," he moaned.
Starting up, he staggered out and on
to the, deck. No one bad gone asbore.
A lasts hope occurred to him. He would
have the two womeu arrested on a
trumped up charge. There they were
near the companlonway. lie rushed
forward and, seeing a policeman on
the dock, beckoned to bim." Tbe man
met him on the companlonway. and
Maitland, slipping a ten dollar bill into
his band, told him that there were two
women thieves on board wbo had rob
bed him. When the women reached
th dock they were taken into custody.
They made great ado at tbelr arrest,
asserting their innocence.
"I am an American." said tbe old
lady, "and I demand to be taken before
the United States consul."
"I wlU take you to the consulate,"
.suid Maitii.iiJ. "j.rovdi.d your confed
erate will consent to go with us."
Tbe old lady persuaded the other wo
man to make no objection, assuring ber
that It was tbfir best course. Maitland
called a carriage, and tbe three travel
ers entered, the poliiemau climbing to
the box. On reaching the consulate
Maitland insisted that the Spanish wo
man go in with them. He did not dare
leave her !n the carriage. She seemed
indifferent about it. end tbe three went
in together. The consul being engaged
at the time tbey were placed in the
While waiting. Maitland. facing the
old lady, scrutinized her.' Wbat was
there that was familiar about ber?
Suddenly the Spanish woman's back
was turned she gave bim a smile.
He recognized bis wife.
Rising. Julie went into tbe ball.
Maitland following her.
"Don't worry." she said. "It's safe."
In my corsage."
"How did you come by It?"
. "I've had It all the time. When I
banded you tbe cigar box In Washing
ton It contained a dummy. I kept tbe
dispatch." - 1
"Who openKj my suit case?"
The woman in there."
"How do yon know?"
"I saw plainly that she had been
Bent to delay tbe delivery of the dis
patch and. pretending that I was on
the same errand, won ber confidence,
and we agreed to work together. Aft
er she found tbe envelope was not in
your suit cane she was sure you bad
it' on your person. You were very
careless to leave your cigarettes in
your stateroom. She picked tbe lock
with a skeleton key. went in and re
placed your cigaretes with those that
had been drugged. When you were
asleep she robbed you."
"And the dummy? What did she say
when she discovered that?"
"She' cried, nad she secured the
dispatch she would have been paid
While Julie was explaining she was
opening her dress, took out tbe real
dispatch and banded it to ber bus
band. Returning to tbe room be had
left, be told tbe Spanish woman that
he had found tbe missing article,
apologized and said she might go
where she liked.
When Maitland delivered bis dis- !
patch bis wife did not aiipear in the
transaction. He was well launched In
'he profession be had chosen.
Aug. 13 in American
1521 City or Mexico captured by
Cortes, tbe Spanish conqueror.
1S23 Professor Gold win Smith. Anglo-American
author and instruc
tor, one of the organizers of Cor
nell university, born at Reading.
England: died In Toronto. Canada,
June 7. 1010.
1S9S Tbe Spanish snrrenderedf Manila
to tbe American army after a na
val and land bombardment fol
lowed hy nn nttnrk by troops.
ANSWERS EVEEY CALL.
Rock Island People Have Found that
This Is True.
A cold, a strain, a sudden wrench
A little cause may hurt the kid
Spells of backache orten follow.
Or some Irregularity of the urine.
A certain remedy for such attacks.
A medicine that answers every
Is Doan's Kidney Pills, a true spe
Many Rock Island people rely on
Here is Rock Island proof.
Phillip Schikan. 1S20 Fifth and a
half avenue. Rock Island, 111., says:
I have taken Doan's Kidney Pills
off and on for six years and from
my experience, I consider them the
best kidney medicine in existence. I
suffered from a weak back and there
was a dull, dragging pain through
my kidneys and sides. I was often
so bad off that I could hardly get up
from a sitting position and I was
paused no end of annoyance by Irreg
ular passages of the kidney secre
tions. Having Doan's Kidney Pills
recommended to me. I procured a
supply from the Harper House phar
macy and their use completely re
moved my trouble. Oa, a few occa
sions since wnen a severe cold nas
brought on an attack of backache, I
have taken Doan's Kidney Pills and
they have never failed to give the
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-Milburn company, Buf-
alo, N. Y., sole agents for the United
Remember the name Doan's
and take no other.
Where is the
Worked so Hard
Spent, wasted and gone or sav.
ed and now working for you?
Your friends by saving are get
ting interest on tbelr money
have good homes paid for and
money to invest and increase
their incomes day by day you
can do the same Btart a sav
ings account with this strong
bank if you want ready money
v- for useful purposes.
4 Interest Paid -
9r SVACAA M. SMITH
rpnB man wbo works without getting
bis name on tbe payroll is worth
Any rogue can find a friend, but It Is
a clever rogue wbo keeps one.
Compliment a man upon his faults '
and see how quickly they will appear
to bim to be virtues.
The man wbo takes himself seriously
always has plenty to do.
When you meet a person who loudly
declaims that be Is so difficult to un
derstand you will do yourself na
wrong by accepting blm at bis own es
timate. A good principle Is an excellent thing
to have, but it doesn't draw a high
rate of Interest In certan localities.
Common sense Is a desirable thug,
but It Isn't ofiered for Bale at tbe best
A contented man may be a deelrabll
citizen, but he is a very boring asso -date.
Ignoranc la Blita,
If we knew tbe disappointments
Waiting- for us round tbe bend.
Could we only scent the trouble
That its talons would extend.
Could w just observe our flnisa
Laying for us on the sly.
Would we be so very happy
As the days are coins' by?
Could we look into the future
And the bumps ahead discern
That were lying there to meet us
In the road at every turn
Would we wreath our clad youn face
In the framework of a smile
As we paused upon our Journey
Just to rest a little while?
But we cannot see tomorrow.
So a rosy view we hold
Of tbe days that are before us
And the thlncs they will unfold.
We refuse to judge the future
By what's lying In the past.
And we think that we are listed
As the hero of the cast.
It Is well that what Is coming
Should be hidden from our sight.
If we knew the worst, I fancy
That w wouldn't eleep at night.
We may just as well go dreaming
That good luck our life will fill
As we drift along the current.
And who knows but wbat It will?
"Tie never paya bis bills.
"Why, I thought bis credit was goo&
al) over town."
"Then bow about his bills?"
"He doewu't run them."
"You look as though you hadn't slept
well, Mr. Crusty."
"No; thanks to that cat of yours that
kept up a racket all nlgbt."
. "I suppose you would like to hava
the poor thing killed?"
"No, but would you mind having it
- "You must never tell a lie, Johnnie.
"I don't tell lies."
"That's a good boy. You are sure
you never do?"
Im sure dad won't find It out."
He Knew a Way.
"You hare to
catch you flsb be
fore you cook it"
"Do you, though?"
"Of course you
"Maybe you do,
but I don't"
"I'd like to know
how you get
"I buy canned,
"What has become of
"She is married."
"Does she still want to rote?"
"Theoretically, yes, but for Imme
diate purposes she would prefer a rug
for tbe front parlor."
"I understand Miss Cbippeford died
of a broken heart."
"But I saw ber around as live as
'Oh, it don't kill one to die of that." '
To Compensate the Audience.
"Who asked that girl to sing bereT"
"She Invited herself."
"Free of charge?"
"She ought to be willing to pay ut
ometblng for that"
At the Resorts.
"Peachea are covered with down,
"Except at tbe beaches."
"How are they there?"
"Partially covered with bathinf
Plenty of Both.'
That strong rr.en hove their slips and falls
Along the way Is true.
Ton bet the man without a past
Is shy one future, too.
For when the sum of life Is fixed up
Tou find the good and evil mixed up.
A Mass of . Evidence
Pouring in. .
See Papers Aug. 16