Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLATSTD ARGUS, TUESDAY, AUGUST 30, 1910.
y : THE ARGUS.
Published Daily and Weekly at 12
Second avenue. Rock Island. X1L En
tared at the poutofflce second-clas
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dally. 19 centa per week.
.Weekly, $1 per year In advance.
All communications of argumentative
haracter, political or religious, must
have real name attached for publica
tion. No such articles wlU ha printed
ever fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island coanty.
Tuesday, August 30, 1910.
I hereby announce myself as a can
didate for the democratic nomination
for minority representative In the Thirty-third
senatorial district, and ask the
support of all democrats who deem me
worthy. J. & SLOAN.
The worst thing about a theory Is
that Is seldom pays dividends.
The snaps of life are acquired by
the men who have plenty of ginger.
Nobody can say anything worse
about the republicans than they are
saying about each other.
"Sunny Jim" Sherman has announc
ed that he is out of politics. Pie is one
of the last to awaken to the fact.
The quoted prices of aeroplanes
ranging from $2,000 to $5,600 show
that flying Is still some removed from
becoming a popular sport
For acrobatic stunts some of the
standpatters are great performers.
They can take a progressive statement
by President Taft or ex-President
Roosevelt and declare it voices their
The ancent jealousies between Sag
inaw and Bay City, the two cities at
the mouth of the Saginaw valley, Mich
igan, which are almost as closely lo
cated as Rock Island and Moline, will
be breaking out afresh on the census
announcement that Bay City has grown
17,000 and Saginaw only 8,000, and that
they are now only 5,000 apart. Sag
inaw will have to bestir itself. They
might better consolidate and rival
Grand Rapids. This would add West
Bay City and several small places, with
a grand total for the shoestring munic
ipality of 115,000.
Hard-headed, reliable citizens of
Rock Island county men who are not
In the habit of Indulging In air castle
building and who are ready to back
their word with their money are au
thority for the statement that this city
Is in position to become the terminus
of an interurban through the extreme
western end of the county. All that is
asked Is a franchise here and a $100,-
D00 loan In the form of investment in the
road's bonds to guarantee construction.
A well known railroad company is
backing the enterprise, the name of
which is not as yet'given out. Rock
Island business men should lose no
time In investigating this offer, and if
they find it comes from a railroad com
pany which is not Interested in a fur
ther tying up of the city's terminal
facilities, their duty is plain.
What of the Public Business?
The activity of federal officials
against the insurgents is becoming
more and more pronounced as the
campaign for nomination proceeds.
Every one of them above the grade of
a clerk that can get away from Wash
Ington is visiting the states "where
they can do the most good." The As
sociated Press reports some of them as
"generally understood to be the rep
resentatives of the president." As
these officials are paid to attend to the
public business, they should be kept at
their desks, where they belong, and
let Cannon, Aldrich, Ballinger and the
standpatters fight their own battles
Who payg the bills for the ubiquitous
office holders, or are the public funds
used for such partisan activity?
Exposition Has What People Want
How many within 75 miles of Rock
Island have seen an aeroplane per
form? How many want to? Answer
these questions for yourself and judge
of the possibilities in the way of ad
vertising Rock Island that the coming
exposition, with aeroplane eights dai
ly, holds. Everybody has seen balloon
ascensions. Balloons have been in
common use for generations and are
of no utility, save for experimental
purposes. The aeroplane, made possi
ble by the development of the internal
combustion engine, has already dem
onstrated that it can be made of prac
tical use and it is rapidly being per
fected to the point where its use will
be common. Naturally, everybody who
has not seen an aeroplane in action
wants to see one, and so the exposi
tion this year, if properly boosted,
should be the biggest drawing card
that Rock Island has had in years.
This Is Too Coarse.
Some one ought to take "Sunny Jim"
Sherman; vice president, off some
where and lose him. In a speech at
Decatur, 111., Saturday, "Sunny Jim"
"The history of the country has
shown that the republican par,ty is
always right and the democratic party,
always wrong." '
When humanity becomes infallible
then will any party be always right. A
party is made up of human., beings, who
are prone to err, and an organization
or a conglomeration of human beings
13 Just as liable to error as Is the in
dividual "Sunny Jim's" address might have
been considered excusable a good many
years ago, when there was more gen
eral worship of party; when the people
were less informed on public questions.
That sort of clap-trap was considered
the thing once upon a time. But not
now. The people are no longer fooled
by such fool statements.
The vice president's utterances are
an Insult to the intelligence of the great
central west, where there is consider
able freedom of political thought, and
where the people are coming to judge
accurately partisan promises and per
formances. The central west is not so
gullible that it will swallow that kind
of bunk, dished up by any member of
The Tariff and tlio Farmer.
There is no stronger proof of tho
contention of the democratic position
as to the uselessness of the tariff on
agricultural products, of which we raise
a surplus, than the condition of the
wheat markets during the past few
months. The price of wheat In this
country, in consequence of a short crop
and speculation, has been above the
price in the markets of the world,
where all the surplus of all nations
must find its market.
Under such conditions no wheat had
been sold for export for some months
until about Aug. 1, when the prices
here and abroad agreed, and a fair ex
port business has resulted.
The tariff on wheat did not increase
the price here, neither has it caused
the reduction in price which lias occur
red, but the inexorable law of supply
and demand, which controls the price
of commodities, has produced this re
sult. The short crop of wheat in France
will compel the purchase of about
50,000,000 bushels of foreign wheat by
that country, and the movement to
supply that demand is already seen in
the purchase of wheat in this country
for export. As other countries which
have a surplus of wheat are competing
to supply the wants of the French, tt
is all a question of who will supply
them the cheapest. If the United
States sells 50,000,000 bushels of wheat
abroad this fall, It will probably mean
higher prices here later in the season.
If our wheat market advances beyond
what other countries feel like offering
their wheat for, exports from here will
cease, and next spring we may find
ourselves with a surpluB and no buy
ers. In that case prices would decline
if our crop is as large as the report
of the agricultural department indi
cates. The carrying charge for wheat from
People of Note
and liberal philan
thropists la Dr. D.
K. Pea rson s of
Chicago, who has
just placed bis
home on the real
estate market and
after it Is sold be
will pass the re
in a i n d e r of his
days in a sanitari
um, ne proposes to die penniless, and
on April 11, when he will be ninety
one years o!d. he will give away the re
mainder of his fortune. Dr. Pearsons,
however, makes no claim to distinc
tion as a philanthropist. Tie says of
himself, with refreshing candor:
"I do not pose as a benevolent man.
I am a thrifty and frugal old man. I
have labored all my life to make mon
ey, and I have made it. and honestly
too. I have no benevolence in me, not
a particle. I am the most economical,
close listed man you ever met. You
can see it in my face. I am doing all
that I am doing on business principles.
After working hard and practicing
economy for seventy years to lay tip
money I said to myself:
" 'What am I going to do with this?
I cannot carry it out of the world in
my dead bands. Coffins were not
made to carry money in. I have got
to leave it; that's the way to look at
It Now, what shall I do with It? "
In this practical frame of mind Dr.
Pearsons began his course of bene
factions, and he has already given
away $0,000,000 to colleges to further
the education of young men.
In connection with the American
tour of Sarah Bernhardt, who will
reach this country about midwinter, a
story is being published in Paris which
13 new so far as the French public Is
concerned and may be so to many
here. It relates to the divine Sarah
and the great John L Sullivan.
Once these two celebrities were stay
ing at the same hotel in Australia, and
tion as she conned
her lines at night
In her room greatly
disturbed the pugi
list's repose. Meet
ing her one day on
the stairs, he frown
ed at her so horri
bly and gave such
an ominous growl
.v. ... - J
6 Alt AJS JTEBXHAItDT
that she fainted dead sway. Next
morning she moved to another hotel.'
Mme. Bernhardt was asked the other
day whether the story were true.
Yes," she said in her peculiarly win
ning English, "but I don't bate him
for it. Sullivan is one great big dread
fully splendid man,' Such a thrill mag
nifique as he give!"
Texas has lost Colonel Edward n.
R. Green as a resident. Hereafter he
will make his home in New York city,
where he will look after and direct the
vast interests of bis mother. Mrs. Het
ty Green, who is now in her seventy-
September to May is 9 cents per bush
el, the difference In price now quoted
for these months in Chicago being
about 8 cents per busheL When the
reliable reports from the threshing
machines are at hand it will be pos
sible to estimate with more certainty
whether there 'will be a surplus to sell,
and prices will be adjusted according
ly; the tariff on wheat will have noth
ing to do with fixing the price. Nor
will the tariff protect the farmers on
any other product of which a surplus
is raised, but the old law of supply and
demand will fix the price In the mar
kets of the world where such surplus
must Beek Its market. The only pro
tection the farmers get from the tariff
is on sugar and wool, and to some ex
tent on wrapper tobacco and rice; so
you can soon figure out the small num
ber of farmers who receive any tariff
IIow a Consumer Muy Help.
The consumer has had a good deal
to say the past eight or ten months
about the cost of meats. He has over
looked some of the circumstances in
his own hands, exclusively subject to
his own Influence, which tend to mod
ify such cost. The National Butchers'
association calls attention to one such.
It is the tendency to eat veal, which
leads to the killing of beef animals at
weights of 150 or 200 pounds, when
they ought to be fed till they reach
half a ton. If a large part of the beef
supply Is consumed when it is only 20
per cent of its proper market weight,
that portion of the supply of food is
cut down to the' extent of 80 per cent.
That affects a large section of the beef
supply. If that course is kept up it
necessarily makes beef scarce and high.
At one of the big beef markets this
year the slaughter of veal calves in
creased about one-th'rd over a year
ago. That automatically shuts off fu
ture supplies of the mature beef and
puts the consumer in a hole.
The consumer has It in his own
power to remedy this matter by omit
ting veal from his diet. The National
Butchers' association, which feels the
pinch, advises that a closed season be
established in calves, suggesting the
three spring months as a time when
such food should not be permitted on
the market. If that plan were carried
out it would help not a little. The con
sumer himself, however, has a respon
sibility in the matter. It might as well
be understood that every order for veal
means reducing the supply of beef
meats, higher prices for that staple
of the national diet. When that factor
is recognized and its correction adopt
ed in the habits of the people, it will
work to the cheapening of food prices
in contrast with what they would be
come with the tendency to swell the
present bad practice.
in the Limelight
fifth year. Wheu Coiouer Green first
went to Texas it was to look after his
mother's large Interests there. Not
only has he done that successfully,
but he also has acquired a great many
of his own. He is said to have his fin
ger In almost every corporation and
commercial enterprise in his part of
roadiug to real es
tate, c-oionei urecn
does not go In for
society at nil. for ho
is lame. One of his
legs was injured
lTi when ne was a boy.
sL& . and he has been a
V cripple ever since.
". i He considers socie
ty a waste of time.
He has not mar
ried, either, and
H. K. GREEK.
does not hesitate to announce that be
is a confirmed bachelor. When he Is
in New York he gets a bushel of beg
ging letters a day at his hotel, ne is
wiser than hl3 mother, however, for he
never opens them now.
Miss Caroline Hazard, who has re
tired as president of Wellesley college
owing to 1)1 health, was little more
than a child when she began her lit
erary work. Her first published book
was a translation of German songs,
and later her prose and poetry became
very well known. Her ode, "The Great
Western Land." formed a part of the
opening exercises of the World's fair
at Chicago. Her "Memoirs of the Late
Professor Dinman" of Brown univer
sity made her repu
tation. Miss Haz
ard was born In
Peacedale, R. 1..
Jnne 10. 1850. the
daughter of Row
land and Margaret
Hazard. She was
educated by a gov
erness and tutors
and at Miss Mary
Shaw's school. She
also stndied abroad and. in addition,
owes a great deal to ten years' work
at Brown university with Professor J,
Lewis Dinman. She has a degree of
Lit. D. cdhferred upon her in 1SJ0 by
Crown university and LL. D. granted
her In 1905 by Tufts college.
Wife (crying In a troubted dream)
Help! Help! Hub Poor dear! Wor
rying about the servant problem even
in her sleep. Boston Transcript.
The secret of success is constancy to
Aug. 30 in American
1S56 BJo;i. ,i--fr at Osawato
mie, Kan., between armed bands
of abolitionists beaded by John
Brown and proslaverists.
1SC2 End of the second battle of Bull
1907 Richard Mansfield, actor, died:
WAR VESSELS FOR
I' JvV fT"T -
- - i ' - I- !r , "J
7773 Sattetsfijo 3r&rrcfe76urg
TURKEY, under the rule of the progressive foung Turks," Is to have a
strengthened navy, the first step in that direction being the purchase of
the German battleships Brandenburg and Worth for a sum said to be
five million dollars. These sister vessels are declared to be too slow for the
special needs of Germany, but will serve the purpose of Turkey very well. It
would appear that the ex-sultan of Turkey will pay at least some of the pur
chase money, though against his will, for it Is said that certain moneys in the
Deutscher bank to the credit of Abdul Hamld will be turned over to the Ger
man government In part payment for the warships.
The Argus Daily Short Story
The Specter Bird
Copyrighted, 1910, by
Ling To Fey's gorgeous junk moved
slowly up the Huangpo river, the
6teersman skilfully guiding his -unwieldy
craft in and out of the shipping.
In the luxurious cabin of the pleasure
craft two Americans were dining with
the most powerful mandarin in north
west China. Ling To Fey, a massive
bulk of flesh, was gorgeous in blue
At bis right band sat Luke Pon
sonby, millionaire promoter of mining
industries. His attorney and friend,
John Burnett, sat at the left of the
The attorney knew it required a del
icate approach of the crafty and su
perstitious official, but after many
weeks of skirmishing he had brought
together the two principals in the
transactions. The evening on the junk
was the result.
"I presume your excellency , said
Burnett, "Is prepared to close this mat
ter now. All that remains is for you
to sign this agreement and give Mr.
Ponsonby a receipt for his check, which
covers one-half of the agreed amount.
The remainder will be paid to yon at
the expiration of your term of office,
when the matter may be made public."
"Quite true," murmured Ling To
Fey in his slow English words. "I
shall be pleased to discuss the matter
when my secretary appears. Mean
while we will enjoy the entertainment-"
He clapped bis hands, and a moment
later wide casements were thrown
open, revealing the flower boat along
side keeping pace with the Junk's lei
surely progress. The lanterns in the
cabin were extinguished, and the three
men gathered about the window to
witness the spectacle.
Burnett's eyes seemed to pierce the
darkness beyond the lighted boat nis
compelling glance seemed to demand
reassurance from something that
should be near at band, and a vague
anxiety crept into his watching face
as no sign appeared.
nis eyes finally wandered to tLa
massive head of the mandarin behind
whom he stood. The glowing ruby in
the white velvet cap seemed to pulsate
with some strange emotion.
After awhile the mandarin clapped
his hands, and the singsong boat drop
ped astern and was seen no more.
As the windows were closed and
lights flared forth Fonsonby drew out
his watch., "The hour grows late, ex
cellency. We wish to return to Shang
hai before midnight." he drawled.
The mandarin smiled blandly. His
voice was smooth as silk. "I regret
that my villainous secretary has been
left behind in Shanghai. I have dis
patched a sampan for him, and in the
meantime we will anchor until he ap
pears. The matter must wait until the
rascal joins us."
The two Americans exchanged quick
glances. The lawyer spoke first -
"If that is the case we will defer the
settlement of this matter."
"We will await the coming of the
secretary," purred the mandarin
"It will avoid future unpleasant
ness" began Burnett with some heat,
when something happened that closed
his lips Into a rigid line.
Out of the night beyond the closed
windows, so loud that it seemed al
most at his elbow, there came a blood
freezing scream, followed by a splash,
a choking gurgle and then dead si
lence. "What was that? Burnett asked
The mandarin shrugged his fat
shoulders, and for the first time bis
eyes fully opened, and the hatred in
their depths startled the foreigners.
A killing a small matter." he sneered
The cry In the night as they passed
through the houseboat city merely
served to strengthen their belief that
up here, now beyond the confines of
thenative city, they were quite at the
mercy of the mandarin.
Instinctively Burnett's hand sought
his hip pocket and came away emptyl
His muttered exclamation prompted
Ponsonby to feel for his own weapon,
with the same result Some time
since their arrival -on board they had
been relieved of their revolvers.
I Sua To JTev's yellow band toadied
By Clarissa Mackie.
Associated Literary Press.
a gong beside Liiiu and the curtains
parted to admit tbe recreant secretary,
who doubtless bad been within ten
feet of his master during the entire
The mandarin uttered a few words
in Chinese and the secretary moved
swiftly to the heavy draperies that
covered the wall3 of the cabin and
lifted them one by one. revealing rows
of armed serrnnts in grim outline
against the carved background.
When the Americans had counted
thirty in all the last curtain dropped
from the hand cf the secretary.
"A holdup for sure!" murmured Fon
sonby, drawing a small leather covered
book from his pocket From anions
the leaves of cigarette wrappers he
drew a thin folded slip of paper, tore
it in two and passed half to bis com
panion. "Smoke your last cigarette, Burnett,"
he said significantly, offering his to
Burnett smiled sardonically as h?
deftly rolled a cigarette and watched
Ponsonby do tbe same. Then as he
touched a match to his smoke his
glance caught the malevolent gaze of
Ling To Fey uttered a few sharp
orders and the secretary motioned the
foreigners away from their stand be
hind the table. Reluctantly they
stepped aside, careful that their backs
should be against a shuttered uncur
The secretary opened a wide panel
in the bulkhead, disclosing a canopied
dais on which was a gilded and inlaid
chair. On either slue of the chair
stood one of tbe mandarin's retainers,
splendid in purple and silver and bear
ing a tall staSC tipped with red feathers.
A low lacquered table was placed be
fore the dais and spread with a cloth
of golden tissue. Then the mandarin
slowly arose and mounted into the
chair of state.
"Sons of dogs," began the mandarin
politely, "because I am a merefful ruler
I shall give jou an opportunity to die
respectably that your wretched souls
may be afforded some solace when you
taste the bitter tortures of the nether
world. I will graciously permit you
to drink a cup of poison instead of
having your heads cut off as you de
serve!" Ponsonby lounged forward and re
moved his half consumed cigarette
from between his smiling lips.
"Then the deal is off?" he queried.
The mandarin frowned thoughtfully.
"I do not understand your meaning,"
he said at last
The millionaire explained. Burnett,
his broad back pressed against the
window, felt the shutter give beneath
his weight A little rush of cool air
came in the opening, and with it came
a distant sound that awoke every
To Fey was speaking: "The
only deal that will be consummated be
tween us tonight is that you will place
the documents that have been drawn
up, together with Mr. Ponsonby's
check on the Shanghai lank, on the ta
ble before me."
"And after that?" queried Tonsonby.
"After that you may quaff tbe poi
soned cup," answered the mandarin
Burnett over at the window had man
aged to slip his handkerchief through
the crack' at his back and wedge one
corner so that it fluttered out Into the
night. Then he came forward and
stood beside his companion.
Ling To Fey's face was inflexible ia
its cruelty. "Place the check on the
table!" he commanded.
In unison the two Americans flun?
tbe remnants of their cigarettes on tbe
low table. "There's what's left of it."
said Burnett grimly.
Before the mandarin could . com
mand the servants to kill Burnett's
band shot up in tho air with a ges
ture. "Excellency, listen! Tbe cry of the
specter bird."' he shouted.
The mandarin seemed to shrivel in
size as he bent forward, one fat band
raised to his ear, bis face pallid with
fear. The servants had paused cs if
frozen in their tracks, with their jet
eyes . fixed in terror, arms unlifted.
menacing tU'stiuctiuu to tUe two men
at the window.
Then out of the night there came a
strange, unearthly cry.
When its last echo had died away
Burnett spoke in a solemn voice,
though bis keen eyes sparkled hope
fully. "Let all beware who hear the voice
of the specter bird! Let them cease
what they are doing, make peace with
enemies, lest they die a dreadful
death! Listen, excellency! It may
Then all at once It did come again
in the very cabin of the junk, and at
the sound Ling To Fey's huge bulk
lifted up in the air with an unearthly
cry of terror and fell lifeless and
twitching on the floor before his dais,
dead from very fright.
Through the doorway there stream
ed a file of Americun marines headed
by an officer, who leaped forward at
the outstretched hands of his fellow
countrymen at the window.
"Just In time; eh?" be beamed as
they voiced their thanks. "Good thing
you pressed us into service as a body
guard, eh, Burnett? The Grayling has
sneaked along iu your wake for hours.
When the junk was wedged into this
creek we became suspicious that some
dirty work was up and scouted. One
by one we caught the fellows on deck
and put them into the dispatch boat.
Then one of the boys saw your hand
kerchief at the window, and we work
ed the specter bird cry cn them. Does
the business every time!"
"Where are we now?"
The Grayling Is towing yon down
tbe river. Another half hour and
j-ou'll be in the city."
In tho early morning hours in Pon
sonby's rooms at the hotel the million
aire drew from his pocket the mag
nificent ruby that had formed the but
ton on Ling To Fey's official cap and
banded it to tbe lieutenant of the
"Tbe cry of the specter bird saved
our lives. Decker," be said, with emo
tion. "Not on your life." vociferated the
other; "makes me crawl when I think
of scaring the old bei;?:ar to death.
Wouldn't have cared a rap if it bud
been an open fight. Burnett's fore
thought in asking for escort saved the
day!" He tossed It to the attorney.
That is how Lieutenant Decker sent
home a check tbat month which en
abled his father to pay off the mort
gage on his farm, while Burnett's
wife wears as a pendant at her throat
the magnificent ruby that once graced
a mandarin's cap. Ponsonby does not
own any coal mines in China.
SWISS JAIL LlrE EASY;
CONVICTS WONT ESCAPE.
Board and Room In Prison, Work and
Prison life In Switzerland is a lux
ury instead of a punishment. The
comic opera jail at Thorburg, where
the inmates did us tliey pleased, has
only recently been suppressed by the
Berne authorities, yet details are pub
lished of a similar institution at Sar
nen, in the canton of O.nwalcL
Surnen Is apparently an Ideal penal
resort, for the happy criminals who
are sentenced to terms of "detention"
In that institution hare a far better
time than huudrcvls of "free" Swiss
citizens who are forced to earn their
A correspondent o? a Lausanne pa
per states that he was passing through
Snruen when he saw a number of men
dressed iu dark b'ne clothes vi?!i
white stripes wa!kl;ig about the vil
lage smoking and Joking.
Others were seated In a enfe. and
some were working In leisure man
ner carrying bricks for the construc
tion of a new building. To his aston
ishment tho correspondent found that
the men were convicts from the can
tonal prison close by.
These convicts are permitted to leave
tho prison early in the morning and
find work around Sarneu or walk
about the country until nightfall, when
they return of their own accord to the
They are unaccompanied by warders,
and there is nothing to prevent their
escaping, but they are far too com
fortable to think of relinquishing their
quarters, for thoy have as much liber
ty as other men and are, moreover.
feVl and lodged for nothing.
The money earned by these convicts
who choose to work can be spent as
they like. One convict who is em
ployed as i. gardener by a local magis
trate sends his monthly salary to his
wife and children.
Two or three convicts "escaped"
some weeks ago. but they eventually
returned to the prison in a half fam
ished condition, and after being se
verely reprimanded they were allowed
te- return to their apartments.
Since thou art not sure of a minute
do not throw away an hour. Frank
lin. rj rj Li tJ
Never Falls to Eeslore
Gray Hair to its Natural
Color and Beauty.
Ko matter how long it has been Rray
or faded. Promotes a luxuriant rowtlx
cf healthy hair. Stops its falling out.
and positively removes lias
Cruii. Keeps hair &oit and glossy.
Will not soil skin or linen. Will not
injure your hair. Zs Hot a dye.
$1 and COc. bottles, at dranai&t3
ty mail lor 6Uc Send 2c. fr free books beCara
of tb H.iir and Sitm." Philo 11 ay Snnc. Go-.
Newark,N.J..U S. A.,an4 Toronto, Oiit-',Caaada
IZay'S EHSTalCa Soap nni-qn.-llui forthe
Complejdroj. toil autl bath. reil,muj,-h.chaTf-l
fr, K fckiii fine and noft. 2V. lruc(;Ub
KCJ2E ALL fcUQSTITUTEii
T. II. Thomas Go. and W. T. llartz.
2V OVACAV M. SMITH '
rpHE man who doesn't worry shout
expenses is apt to be tbe man who
can charge them up to the bouse.
Profit Is not without honor, no mat
ter bow It was made.
naving a good' opinion of yourself
isn't a crime, and it may even be
A lawyer isn't a good individual to
consult If your object is to keep out of
Tbe girl who takes the cake Is tbe
one who knows bow to produce It
There are two sides to all questions
except the one upon which you have
Sometimes we feel sorry for tbe time
we have wasted being polite to fool ac
quaintances. Tbe advice that Is tbe most thank
fully received is accompanied with the
wherewith to put it into Immediate
What a majority of tbe populacs
needs more tbua anything else is a
safe and sane amount of common
When tbe times are out of whack
And your trolley's oft the tracic.
When the skies are looking- blue
And there's nothing bright for you.
Knock oft labor for a day..
Take a little time for play.
Get a pole and line and hook
And go fishing in the brook.
If your head is in a kink
And your business on the blink.
If the bill collector-lands
On you with his homy hands
And you have not wherewithal
Out of him to take a fall.
With the fishing bug get bit
And forget the blooming kit.
WorklDg on a steady strain
Will play circus with your brala
Keeping at It all the time s
Is. to say the least, a crime.
Drop your worries, then, and ruiv
Drop them though they weigh a ton.
Give them all the busy stfcn
And sot out your hook and Una.
Though a whnlo you may not snare,
You will get the sun and air.
Though a baas you may not land.
You will get your whiskers tanned
And will come back full of vim.
With your nerves In better trim.
Put your troubles on the shelf
Get a pole and chase yourself.
"Did you hear about that band of
"No. What alout them?"
"They had a good motto."
"What was it?'
"United we steal, divided don't
"Lost your job?"
"Too bad! IIow did It happen 7"
"Playing hooky. Heard you lost
"Too bud! Ilow'd it happen?"
"Nobody has a cinch on all the fool
ishness? In the world."
"Is that so?"
"That's u fact."
"Well. I can tell you one thing."
"What Is It?"
"Some people act as if they have."
Pence hr.th 1ta victories. oDserve.
No l"ss renowiifil than war.
Th; solemn puiirlipiiw's simple curv
Hay serve to fix the score.
"What is the matter?"
"I have a bad told."
'Are you very susceptible?"
"Yes. Inded: I catch a cold Just look
lag at a draft horse."
"ITo Is a very high minded youof
I. never happened to fall In love."
"What would you do If you should?"
"Signal the life wiving service."
"Too many cooks spoil the broth,"
"And there are others."
"Yes. that eat it before it Is served
Judged by Color,
"lie thinks be Is some pumpkins."
"Huh: Only an overgrown lemon!"
When the digestion is all right, the
action of the bowels regular, there
is a natural craving and relish for
food. When this is lacking you may
know that yon need a dose of Cham
berlaln's Stomach and LlverTablets.
They strengthen the digestive organs,
improve the appetite and regulate the
bowels. Sold by all drugghits.