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Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, September 19, 1910, Image 4

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f. THE ROCK ISLAND A11GUS, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 91910.
THE ARGUS
1 Published Sally and Weekly at 1J
feoond avenue. Bock Island. HI. I En
tered at th postoace as second-cl
Butter.
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TSBM& Dallr. 10 centa pt week.
iWeekly. fl par rear In advance,
All communications of argumentative
character, political or pellg-lous, moat
av real nam attached (or publica
tion, V Ko such artlolea wlU be printed
ever fictitious bxnaturea,
. Correspondence aollclted from erery
township in Rock Island county.
Monday, September 19, 1910.
The Rock Island county republican
machine is smashed even if Campbell
did pull through at the last moment.
Candidly speaking, the democrats of
the Thirty-third district are capable of
attending to their own affairs without
dictation from the Chicago Tribune or
the self-constituted Legislative Voters
league.
While the insurgents and standpat
ters are getting farther apart, the dem
ocrats are enjoying more harmony
than for 15 years past. It is a long
political lane that has no turning, and
the "common people" will soon come
Into their own.
Representative McKlnley of Califor
nia, a Cannonite, whom the voters of
his district have decided they can bet
ter do without, is engaged by the re
publican congressional committee to
stump Virginia, North Carolina and
Tennessee; probably on the theory
that he can't do very much harm in
these states.
Louisiana will have to be up and
doing if it is to capture the Panama
International exposition of 1915. A spe
cial section of the California legisla
ture bus -reposed two amendments to
thf fta'.e constitution which will allow
an rtl.!5;:o:iPl $10,000,000 for the financ
iiT of th exposition, and over $7,000,
CC0 hau already been provided by pri
vate cuLscri'Jtion.
For some time we have heard that
the eld republican machine in Indiana
what thero is left of it would knife
Beveridge and throw the election to
the democrats. What seems proof of
such a prograin is the appearance of
Fairbanks on the stump; which is cer
tain to throw co'u! water on the repub
lican campaign, unless the Fairbanks
cocktails are largely indulged in.
High Prices Again.
Under a republican high protective
tariff, and with the republican party
In charge of every branch of the gov
ernment, the average cost of living
advanced 1.4 per cent during August.
These figures are according to Brad
street's index number of average com
modity prices. The principal increases
were on live stock, provisions, oils,
fruits, naval stores and building ma
terials. A Republican Pessimist.
The St. Louis Globe-Democrat and
other republican newspapers are much
exercised about the partisan political
outlook. The Globe-Democrat say3:
"A democratic victory ia November
would bring a crash on the New York
stock exchange Just as surely as the
6un would rise on Wednesday, Nov. 9.
This was true of the past and it would
be true In the present case."
What must be the feelings of the
Globe-Democrat since it has heard
from Maine, and the awful possibilities
have become more than probable?
Not having pet gotten over the repub
lican panic of 1907, which Wall street
charged was caused by Roosevelt fool
ishness, we hardly expect that "the
malefactors of great wealth" will be as
anxious for another crash as the Globe
Democrat believes. Bo cheer up, broth
er, and make the beBt of what the gods
send; and to help along matters, why
not resuscitate your Sunshine clubs?
for the clouds are rolling by.
Rock Island Again to the Front.
The Rock Island Exposition has once
more brought Rock Island to the front.
It ha9 attracted thousands of people
to the city from the territory for a
distance of 50 miles or more, has treat
ed them well, and made a good im
pression. This year the city, through
th enterprise of its business men and
citizens cooperating with the Exposi
tion, has had the satisfaction of pre
senting for the first time in the Missis
sippi valley between St. Louis and St
Paul exhibitions of feats which are
proving the sensation of the age, the
achievement of all time successful
aerial navigation.
The Curtlss aeroplane, which flew
four times during the week from Ex
position park, amazed and thrilled all
who witnessed them, drove the doubt
ing Thomases to cover, and proved In
deed that to man nothing is impossible
beneath the sky.
And that to Rock Island all things
ire attainable where the proper spirit
Is employed.
Science and courage and public
spirit combined to present at Rock
Island what cities of the first class the
World over are boasting of producing.
Victory in the Air.
The political trend Is strongly to
wards the democrats. As goes Maine,
o goes (the (Union was the old cry, and
from the overwhelming victory there
a landslide may be confidently looked
lor elsewhere in November. .
Make the landslide as big as you
pin There are many dark republi
can spots that need democratic light
Democrats ln the strong republican
states should work the harder now
that the tide is In their favor, for their
turn for victory -will soon come, and
every gain at the coming election will
help to greater gains In 1912.
The corrupt boss must go; and the
fraudulent votes must be prevented,
for that is what perpetuates his power.
Therefore, be up and doing, demo
crats, and emulate the constancy of
your Maine brethren, who, in spite of
republican corruption, have never fail
ed to be constant and true to the prin
ciples of the fathers of the republic.
They now have their reward.
The day of Cannonl6m and Aldrlch
lsm is fading into the twilight and the
night of oblivion is at hand for them
and their like. Their occult political
villainies have been exposed in part,
enough, at least, to merit the condem
nation of the voters whom they have
so long deceived.
But victory will bring its trials, and
the democratic leaders will need the
wisdom cf the serpent and the harm
Icssfiess of the dove to hold the old
democratic ship" to Its course so that
it may be the ark of safety for all
the people. Let every man do his duty
in the way that he honestly sees it,
and thus aid in the full fruition of the
great victory which is evidently within
the grasp of the democracy.
The Lesson from Maine.
The Maine yankee is a born politi
cian. -For years the republican end of
him has been feasted on the best that
a republican congress could provide in
the way of public buildings, federal of
fices and pensions. But the expense
of these political dainties as the sur
plus in the national treasury vanished
bad to be diminished, and he began
to wonder why the old Reed-Hale-Frye
ring, or what was left of it, had be
come so penurious.' He watched and
waited. The cost of living had ad
vanced to an unbearable hcighth and
the revision of the tariff did not reduce
prices, but actually increased them on
the average.
The Maine yankee did not then in
surge; but the Maine newspapers be
came more independent and talked ot
lots of things that would have been
considered rank rebellion in Torn
Reed's time. The republican ringlead
ers were all standpatters and would
not even admit that reciprocity with
Canada was desirable. They ignored
or stamped out all signs of insurgency,
thinking they were all-powerful.
But the Maine yankee was reading
and thinking. The Maine democrats
were asking very uncomfortable ques
tions. The Maine grangers and work
ir.gmen were demanding the initiative
and referendum, and some republican
papers voiced their demands. All the
Maine yankee voters are educated,
and many republicans voters had pro
gressed to the point of upsetting the
regular order of things. So strong was
this feeling that they became insur
gent, and even Senator Hale saw the
coming storm and retired. His son was
repudiated for congress.
You know the rest, for you have
heard from Maine.
Now, there is a lesson to be learn
ed by the democrat.? from the result in
Maine. Push the education of all the
people, native and foreign born, so that
they can at least intelligently read and
Official Primary
The official primary vote cast last
Thursday is declared by the Rock
Island county canvassing board to
have been as follows:
DEMOCRATIC TICKET.
For stato treasurer A. K. "Hart
ley, 717.
For superintendent of public In
struction C. M. Bardwell, 677.
For congressman E. W. Hurst, 3.
State committeeman John W.
Williams. 647.
Representatives H. L. Wheelan,
1,639; J. S. Sloan, 686: S. A.
LaVanway, 541.
Senatorial committeeman Henry
J. Frick. 6S3.
For probate judge Dudley Mar
shall, 683.
For county judge Albert Huber,
683.
For probate clerk T. E. Cole,
642.
For county clerk W. D. Hall,
636.
For sheriff Cornelius Donovan,
741.
For county treasurer E. C.
Coryn, 668. ' 1 ;
For superintendent of schools
Thomas Pender, 2.
REPUBLICAN TICKET.
For state treasurer Edward E.
Mitchell, 2,579; J. W. Templeton,
920.
For superintendent of public In
struction F. G. Blair, 3,357.
For congressman James McKin
ney, 3,634.
For state committeeman W. A.
Rosenfleld, 3,260.
For state senator F. A. Landee,
3,562.
For representative Thomas
Campbell, 5,240; F. E. Abbey, 3,
910; Charles A. Clarke, 4,035.
For senatorial committeeman J.
W. Simonson, 3,184.
For probate judge B. S. Bell, 2,
357; Adair Pleasants, 1,451.
For county Judge R. W. Olm
sted, 3,573.
For probate clerk John Rlnck,
3,287.
For county clerk H. B. Hubbard,
3.626.
For sheriff O. L. Bruner, 2,699;
C. E .Shallberg, 1,801.
For county treasurer W. H.
Whiteside, 2,329; C. J. Peterson, 1,
840. ,
For superintendent of schools S.
J. Ferguson, 3,634.
SOCIALIST TICKET.
The vote on socialist nominations
follows:
For state treasurer -G. T. Fraen
kel, 127.
CZAR UNVEILS STATUE OF PETER
rrt
JLU
a nn 5 o . .... :
i Th tl&i
f K-'t .vj mJ' v r 4
Ttte- CZflff PLAtiTlNd Mti OAK
St. Petersburg. Two hundred years ago Peter the Great wrested
Livonia and Riga from the Swedes and added them to Russia. The an
niversary of this conquest has Just been celebrated at Riga where the
czar unveiled an equestrian statue of Peter and also planted an oak in
Peter's park in that city.
understand how to guard their inter
ests. The progressive governor of
Maryland, Austin I Crothers, in ad
dressing the Germans of that state on
German day emphasized the necessity
of education, he said:
"For a country where tho people
have the power in their hands, as in
this country, the voter must be edu
cated. We must see that the boys are
educated so that they will be able to
know what they are voting for. We
need the educated voter.
"Maryland has given the voter the
right to vote directly for the nominees
for office. There can be no advance in
any nation or state where money plays
a part in an election. Along this line
tho state will endeavor to protect you
and will fight to the last ditch. For
this reason it prohibits corporations
from contributing to campaign funds.
A corporation has no political senti
ments, as a corporation, and as such
it should not assist either party.
"We are trying to get all of the
power into the hands of the people. I
believe that when the constitution of
this country was drawn up it intended
that the people should rule in every
thing, and little by little more power
is being placed in their hands. You
will always find the Germans en
thusiastic about good government and
for a government resting entirely in
the hands of the people. I congratu
late you Germans for the work you
hve done in this state. When any
movement for the good of the people
is about to come up I know that I can
always depend upon the Germans for
support."
It S3ved His Leg.
"All thought I'd lose my leg," writes
J. A. Swensen, of Watertown, Wis.
"Ten years of eczema, that 15 doctors
could not cure, tad at last laid me up.
Then Bucklen's Arnica Salve cured It,
sound and well." Infallible for skin
eruptions, eczema, salt rheum, boils,
fever sores, burns, scalds, cuts and
piles. Tweitj five cents at all drug
gists. Vote in County
For superintendent of public In
struction J. C. Kennedy, 119.
For congressman M. L. Morriell,
118.
State committeeman J. T. Krone,
119.
State senator L. F. Haemer, 120.
Representative Charles Block,
307.
Senatorial committeeman W. M.
Dick, 119.
Probate judge Samuel D. Mar
shant. 116.
County judge John N. Hardy,
119.
Probate clerk Roy Adam, 118.
County clerk Edgar Owen, 118.
Sheriff Ernest Fechner, 117.
Treasurer Charles Gantert, 118.
Superintendent of schools Mrs.
Nellie Sieghartner, 117.
PROHIBITION TICKET.
State treasurer L. J. Kendall.
15; A. D. Metcalf, 3; S. M. Sheldon,
0.
Superintendent of public Instruc
tion E. J. Burrltt. 13; Thomas J
Haney, C.
Congressman S. S. Chapman, 23.
State committeeman Louis F.
Gumbart, 21.
State senator R. G. Summers, 22.
Representative Clyde, 3 ; Duke,
36; J. M. Fort, 29 (one nomi
nated). Senatorial committeeman R. G.
Summers, 10; W. M. Story, 9.
Probate judge Adair Pleasants,
I.
County judge R. W. Olmsted. 2.
Probate clerk John Rlnck, 1.
County clerk Theodore Truxell,
19.
Sheriff Forest Young, 13; G. P.
Opdyke, 7.
County treasurer i-J. A. Pauly,
11; Nelson G. Elliott, 9.
County superintendent of schools
S. J. Ferguson, 1.
Sept. 19 in American
History
1777 First oaine vf iiemis Heights,
near Saratoga, endingin a, draw.
1864 Battle ; otylnceistera. ; pre
lude to CedarCreek.'- r
1SS1 James Abram 4 Garfield, twen
tieth.'; .president, ofther United
States died at jberon.'.N.tJ..' xrom
results; of a' pistol wound "inflicted
by "the assassin Gnlteau July 2;
born 1S31.
1901 President McKlqley's remains
buried in Wodlawn cemetery at
Canton. O.
i . m
The Argus Daily Short Story
Detective Wireless By F. A. Mitchel.
Copyrighted. 1910, by Associated Literary Press.
It was a put up Job on the part of
Merford. wbo hated me like poison.
We had botb worked toother in the
b'imberley mines, I as foreman. Mer
ford with tbe pick. It was at tbis time
that I detected bim Id an effort to
carry out diamond in his throat I
considered It my duty to report him.
Then came my big find. I was walk
ing one day far from any mice with
no more thought of diamonds than of
dougbnuta. One of my kids wasn't
well, and I was out after fresh milk
for him. I walked without finding
what I wanted till I was tired, then
eat down on a rock to rest. While sit
ting there my eye became fixed on a
stone beside me about tbe size of a
walnut
Now, I had been working in diamond
mines for ten years. Many's the stone
I have thrown out with my pick whose
value would run from thousands to
tens of thousands. As noon as 1 looked
at this one 1 knew it for a prize, and
yet 1 couldn't believe my eyes. Was it
an outcropping of diamond soil or bad
some one dropped it there? 1 didn't
stop to answer my own question in
fact 1 didn't care. I looked at it care
fully to make sure I wasn't dceived
and put it in my pocket certain that
if I could get away with it I and my
family would live, instead of working
people, as swells all tbe rest of our
lives.
And so we would had it not been for
that most uncontrollable of all things
a woman's tongue. I confided my se
cret to my wife, enjoining ber not to
tell a single person, as her future de
pended ou her secrecy. But when a
woman is bu ruing to tell a secret it's
like a drunkard thirsting for liquor.
Meg was so full of the fine future be
fore us that she must needs tell just
her own dear loving sister, who would
rather die than injure her. The sister
had a bosom friend from whom she
could not possibly keep a secret. And
so It weut from one to another till it
got to Jim Merford's wife.
I knew it by the devilish look in his
eye the nest time 1 met him. Going
straight home, I told Meg to trace the
secret as quickly as she could, and
within an hour she confirmed my in
ference. Here w::s a pretty condition
of things. Merford would take one of
two courses ho would either accuse
me of having stolen my Mg diamond
from the mine in which I worked or
he would move heaven and earth to
get possession of It himself. With him
ready to swear to anything against
me I could never hold the stone in
spite of the company's efforts to get it.
I had no time to fool away in con
sidering that is. if Merford decided to
"POSTEIiS STARED MX IN THE FACTS.
accuse me to tbe company. He hadn't
the secret an hour before I bad bor
rowed I hadn't the money to pur
chasethe best horse in the place and
was galloping away. I knew that if I
was "wanted it would be supposed I
had made for tbe coast in order to
take ship and get out of the country.
It was a month after I had left with
my diamond that I made up my mind
to take the risk of getting across the
Atlantic ocean. 1 knew I could man
age it all right If it were not for the
wireless telegraph. But what can a
man do when an enemy traces him
board a ship that requires from en
m Is
THE GREAT
lb two v.eeks to get to her destina
tion and can send word of her com
ing oud order his arrst?
Procuring some ostrich eggs. I bor
rowed a cullco dress aud a sunbonnet
and went into a town to sell the eggs.
Posters stared me In tbe face that
5.tHX) was offered by tbe company for
my arrest. That was all 1 wanted to
know, and 1 didn't stay in the town
en minutes. I5ut I stuck to my wo
man's disguise. There were risks iu
appearing either as a man or as a wo
man. 1 concluded that so long as 1
didn't mligle much with people I was
safer as a woman.
Well, to do a little skipping In my
story, when the ship Unicorn sailed
Irom a port in the urunsvaal for South
ampton, England, ou the passenger
list wus tbe name of Barton Dexter
and wife. Two days after thevessai
sniied u man stepped into tbe ofikre
of the agent of the diamond company
and. said that he knew where the man
they w.'.nted was. After securing pa
pers that would give fcliu the o,COO
offered for my capture in case It came
through tils information, he told the
agent that Barton Dexter was none
other than Edward Michler in other
words, myself.
The case was at once put into the
hacds of a prominent detective agen
cy, wifb instructions to see that tbe
so called Destef be arrested on arriv
al and held till an identifier arrived.
Tbe next morning aa enterprising re
porter sent a message to a New York
paper giving the whole story.
And so the attention of the world
was concfntrated on a man and a wo
man in niidoccan on the British ship
Unicorn, who h:id robbed the Kim
berlcy iuir.es of an' immense diamond,
but whose game was to be spoiled on
his arrival at Southampton by a gen
tleman from Scotland Yard.
A hundred or more American news
papers wired passengers on board the
Unicorn to send tbeui news of Mich
ler. I can't give all the Items that
were hpm. but I will give a few from
a single paper:
"Michler is a small, delicate man,
with a feminine voice; bis wife is
rather masculine. It has got out on
board that they are under suspicion,
and they seem very much troubled.
At first they were on deck tbe same
as other passengers. Now they keep
to their stateroom nearly all day."
"It is now pretty well determined
that Michler in addition to being a
diamond thief is eloping with another
man's wife. or. rather, another man's
wife is eloping with Michler. for no
one would accuse so gentle a man of
leading such a woman."
"While Michler and his wife were
sitting on deck last night In a secluded
corner suddenly a passenger Cashed a
match to light a cigar. Mrs. Michler
was seen to thrust something under
the folds of her dress. Tbe case is
being discussed in the smoking room,
and some say that tbe diamond thieves
will throw the stone overboard if ar
rested on the ship. All are interested
to know how the officials will man
age to take tbe diamond as well as
the thieves."
"The Michlers today had a terrible
quarrel. Passengers in staterooms
near their's beard Mrs. Michler say to
her husband that If he did cot settle
a large sum of money on her after
their arrival In New York she would
inform on him to tbe police, where
upon be asked her if she wished the
whole ship to know that they were
diamond thieves."
"As we near port Michler and his
wife are becoming more and more
agitated. Mrs. Michler was yesterday
found weeping by tbe room steward
ess who went into her stateroom for
the purpose of making up the berths.
It is not known whether the diamond
thieves are aware that they are to be
arrested on their arrival at South
ampton or not Every passenger on
board is In the secret, but since it is a
delicate matter to speak of to the par
ties concerned they are doubtless un
informed." "The sea was very rough today, and
Mrs. Michler, who Is inclined to be
seasick, kept her room all day. Mich
ler was also affected, but be kept tbe
deck. He was observed to go to tbe
side of tbe ship for the purpose of re
lieving himself of bis dinner. A pas
senger, who was .watching bim says
that aumprtbe size of a walnut was
cast into the sea. In tbe smoking room
they are now belting odds 3 to 1 that
this lump is the diamond. It Indicates
that tbe thieves have given p all hope
of saving it and part with it to avoid
I 1 ft- i
its incri;iiiu.ii.. iLic'.u.
"By Cable Off the Lizards.
"An inspector from Scotland Yard
came aboard for tbe purpose of ar
resting tbe Michlers. To avoid being
known as a detective be was dressed
in tbe uniform of a British admiral.
When the Michlers saw him Michler
fainted. Ills wife ground her teeth
ai.-4fc stood firm as a British tar on the
deck of a battleship. The dramatic
climax of an ius;iector dressed as an
admiral putting bis baud on a man's
shoulder and Buyiug- 'I want youT
was 6 polled by Michler's lying like a
wet rag on tbe deck. Tbe supposed
admiral waa obliged "to lift bis pris
oner np by- tbe collar."
"By Cable From Southampton.
"Tbe Michler affair has collapsed.
When taken ashore and examined Mrs.
Michler was found to be the husband
and Mr. Michler the wife. They prov
ed tbeir Identity as a respectable mar
ried couple from Capetowc Scotland
Yard Is furious, it being supposed that
the real diamond thief hired them to
let it be supposed that tbey were car
rying it to Southampton, while he took
another ship for New York. But there
is no proof of this."
This last item Is true so far as it
goes, but It doesn't tell all. I was tbe
person who informed upon Michler and
his wife. I found in Michler an old
friend who was going home to Eng
land, confided in him and offered him
a quarter Interest In my diamond to
fool the detectives. As soon as the
world was agog over tbe diamond
thieves on the Unicorn I slipped out
of port with the diamond. 1 was dis
guised as a superannuated Jew.
Tbe diamond wus so shaped that in
being cut it required to be made into
two gems. It is noj. therefore, one
of the large gems of tbe world. But
the smaller stone made Michler rich
and the larger one made me richer.
After it was sold I sent for my fam
ily and am now an American capi
taUat. COSVEXTIO.V.
Headquarters Democratic Stat Cen
tral Committee 01 Illinois. Chicago, 111.,
Autf. .
A convention of tho Democracy of
Illinois Is hereby called to meet on Fri
day, Sept. 23. 1910, at noon, at tUe audU
torlum of the city hall In the city of
East St. Louis, for the following pur
poses, viz:
To nominate three candidates for
trustees of the University of Illinois.
To adopt a party platform.
To transact such other business as
may properly be presented.
The said convention will he composed
of delegates from the several counties
of the state of Illinois, to be eclccted
under the provisions of the primary
election laws in fon-e July 1. 1'jlO.
The basis of representation for the
counties will b one delegate for every
400 votes and major fraction thereof
cast for the Hryan and Kern electors of
the democratic ticket of 19o.
The total number of delegates which
hall compose the convention is 1.140,
and the number of delegates to which
each county is entitled is as folliitvs:
Counties. IelKateB.
Adams 21
Alexander &
Bond 4
Boone 1
Brown 4
Bureau 7
Calhoun 2
Carroll ii
Cass i
Champaign 12
Christian 1"
Clark 7
Clay 6
Clinton t)
Coles 10
Cook 3S9
Crawford 7
Cumberland
KeKalb 4
DcW'ltt 5
Douglas f
Dul'age &
Kdgar 9
Kd wards 2
Kthngham '
Kavette
l'ord 3
Franklin 6
Fulton 1-
Uallatin '
(ireen ....... &
Griimly S
Hamilton &
Hancock 11
Hardin 2
Henderson 2
Henry
Iroquois 7
Jackson l
Jasper
Jefferson 8
Jersey 5
Jo Daviess 6
Johnson 3
Kane U
Kankakee 6
Kendall 1
Knox b
Lake 6
LaSalle IS)
Lawrence 6
Lee
Livingston
Logan ....
Mil
Macoupin . .
Madison . . . .
Marion
Marshall . . .
Mason
Massac
McDonough
McIIenry . . ,
McLean ....
Menard ....
Merc
Monroe
Montgomery
Morgan
Moultrie
Ogle
1'eorta
Perry
Piatt
Pike
Pope
Pulaski
Putman
Randolph
Highland
Hock Island
Saline
Sangamon
Schuyler
Scott
Shelby
Stark
St. Clair
Stephenson
Tazewell
Union
Vermilion
Wabash
Warren
Washington
Wayne
White
Whiteside
Will
Williamson
Winnebago .....
Woodford
By order of the democratic state
irai committee.
CHARLES BOESCIIKNSTEIN.
Chairman.
I. B. Crafg Secretary.
Don't Break Down.
Severe strains on the vital organs,
like strains on macnlnery cause break
downs. You can't over-tax stomach,
liver, kidneys, bowels or nerves with
out serious danger to yourself. If you
are weak or run-down, or under strain
of any kind, take Electric Bitters the
matchless tonic medicine. Mrs. J. E.
Van de Sande, of Kirkland, 111., writes:
"That I did not break down, while en
during a most severe 6tra!n, for three
months. 13 due wholly to Electric Bit
ters." Use them and enjoy heal'h and
strength. Satisfaction positively guar
anteed. Fifty cents at all druggists.
Humor and
Philosophy
Br OACAA M. SMITH
PEKX PARAGRAPHS.
HMIEUE may be room at the top. bn(
the fellow up there is pretty apt
to think be is iccupylng ull tbe bpace.
It doesn't muter at all to a man
how much a woman doesn't think U
she is pretty ant' lets him look at her.
1'lenty oi moicy would be a good
thing to hate, but who ever had plen
ty?
We are nllV.uite willing to help the
other fillow-itt bis expense,
i "
The only wy to be bravo is nevet
to think of beiyg afraid.
The devil may have claims on every
man. but even the most straigbtfor
ward refuse to atLuowledge them.
The only way to suppress some pec
pie is to place tbeM in a cold storags
bouse.
Tbe way not to keep a secret Is by
getting into a pickle with it.
When yon call a man's bluff the an
swer is sometimes swift and sudden
and overpowering.
Lots of cs are too busy loafing to
have any time at all to work.
Silence li said to be golden, and it
is also said that money talk. Still, we
don't Cad any free silver.
.Good While It Lasted.
X had a dream tho other eight
Of peaches, cream and honey.
Of autou. u Irs hips, rootorbomts
And wads of etsr money.
Of swell resorts beside the sea.
Where everything was handy.
Tl e ladles favored me with smiles.
And I waa all the candy.
I didn't dare to pinch myself.
By Instinct I divined It
That I would thereby break the spell
And but a dream would find it.
And co I reveled in the smiles.
The coin, the fragrant clover, y
Well kiiowlDg by experience
That ft would soon be over.
I threw the speed ruge open wide.
I knocked the record Billy.
I didn't stop for ditch or stone.
1 Jumped the places hilly.
And when the pace so hot became
The paafinigcrs all fainted
I dropped itito a little town
And left the place well painted.
I can't recall exactly what
I had that day for dinner:
But. judging from results that nlfibt.
It surely was a winner.
I don't remember what It cost
Or where It was I ate it.
Cut I can tell you for a fact
I'd like to duplicate It.
Impudent.
a think I shell win Iiilly."
"You do. do you Y'
"1 am certain of it."
"But be is very fond of my singing
and dancing."
"That may all be. but he Just love
my biscuits und pies."
"Ob. that's ull right. We will buy
them of you when Billy aud I go to
housekeeping."
Tho Cruder Varieties.
"What is the name of that warbler
that Is singing so sweetly In the tree?"
asked a gushing young person.
"I do not kaow." frankly admitted
the great detective.
"But I thought you were making a
study of modern birds?"
"Obly jailbirds. dnrling."
It Makes Good.
"It Is said that she is a wonderful! J
clever talker."
"Yes. but it is not remarkW
-Isn't itr
"No."
-Why?"
-Because it Is bcr money that tslkl
for her."
Equalizer.
Man wants but little here bctow
Food, raiment, warmth and eandle
l'pht
But woman balances the scale.
For she wur.ts everything in sight.
Of Course. .
"My good man,
why are you li
Jail?" .
-Me, teddy?"
"Yes; you. ml
poor fellow."
"Bekase I csn
get out."
Practical Idea.
"History, it Is suld, always repeat!
Ibself."
'loes it. pa?"
"Yes."
"Then I wish it would repeat itseli
when the teacher calls on me to re
cite and I cau't repeat it."
Depends.
"Are you fond of dates?"
'Dates?"
-Yes."
-Well, that depends."
"How depends?"
"On who the other half of the sketel
is."
Slim Picking.
"lie Is as poor as .lob's tnrkry."
"But turkeys bad not been discov
ered in the d;iys of Job."
"That was what made tbem so poor
Their owner couldn't locate tbe blnli
to throw Fhelleri corn to them."
A Man of Iron Nerve.
Indomitable will and tremendous en
ergy are never found where stomach,
liver, kidneys and bowels are out of
order. If you want these qualities and
the success they bring, use Dr. King's
New Life Bills, the matchless regulat
ors, for keen brain and strong body.
Twenty-five ccnU at all druggists.

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