Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLAND ARGUS, THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 1911.
Published Dally and Weekly at i624
Second avenue. Rock Island. I1L t En
tered at tbe postofflce as second-class
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dslly. 10 cents per week.
Weekly, $1 per year In advance.
" All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
have ral name attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township In Rock Island county.
Thursday, January 26, 1911.
It took a postal card 36 years to
go from Connecticut to Indiana, Bet
a dollar be had It in his pocket all
Hon. John W. Kern of Indiana prob
ably considers pi senatorial job ln the
hand worth any number of vice presi
dents in the bush.
Doubtless those Vermilion county
vntA h..vrK and Pliers hav been as
loud voiced as anybody in denouncing
the predatory trusts.
Between the goosebone prophet and
the groundhog prognosticator wp are
reasonably certain to be provided with
Cities of Illinois demand of the Illi
nois general assembly an amendment
to the commission plan of goveri:'it nt
law fixing the recall provision at 25
In addition to being the country's
great center of literary activity, In
diana Is now enjoying a boom as a
A writer in the New York Medical
Journal says whisky i3 not a cure
for snake bite, but kindly refrains
frTJ7?rTinf " .?inloa 33 10 itsidenv.eratic press, before it could lead
suitability for fish bait. w,s.jIy ..mugt knoA. beUer w&at u
Though President Karrell of the
steel trust will cet only J.io.noo a year,
just half of what his predecessors got.
we 1o not suppose he will watch the
clock for quitting time on that ac
count. A St. Ixniis man ate two dozen egTS ,
in 20 minutes on a war. It is not
reported whether they were frsh laid
or t.rus!. laid. In either case it was a ;
notable feat, but In the latter it was au ;
act of heroism.
Down ln Ohio the ever officious
Charles T Taft, step-brother of t!-e
jM.amim,, "-.. v.. .vm . .-j...- (
lican legislators from an adjoining!
commonwealth who ducked out of the
ftate to prevent a quorum. The m0(1' j
dlesome Charles might now start
. other colony in Buckeyedom
refugees from Joe Cannon's hom
An Awful Toll in IJfe.
The recent report of the bureau of
labor of the department of commerce
and labor contains a study of "Fatal
Accidents in Coal Mines," by Frederick
L. Hoffman, in which it is Fhown that i
during the 20 years ending with lfis i
nearly :?o,ooo lives were lost in the
coal mines of the North American con
tinent. During the last year covered by the
report the number was 2.723, or 3.S2
per thousand men employed.
This fearful toll iu human life is
significant not only iu itself, but when j
taken in connection with the reports;
of coal mining In European countries, i
u orti tfio ncc nf 1 is murn ps It .
i nis lesson is no new one 10 oe im-
pressed upon those in authority, neith -
er is it new to tbe general public, but
It can not be repeated too often r.or
impressed too vividly.
Illinois has only recently furr.ished
to the world the spectacle of a mining
disaster that has touched the heart of
civilized humanity with its pathos and
horror. There have been many others
in late years that have arpealed direct
ly to the public heart and conscience
for some rsroedy for existing condi
tions which make the life of the coal
miner one of peril and hazard.
A Fitting Tribute to the Old Soldier.
One of the most eloquent and sin
cere speeches on behalf of the old 601
diers that has been heard on the floor
of the house 1n this session was made
hv tho Him T.ime f l-Jmbam nf 11-
ljnA,n lr. - v. . . t is
uuu'3. .ui, uiaimtu 1.IUKY' lur nit" ii-
Fage cf the bill which provides that
soldiers who were honorably discharg
ed shal!, upon their arrival at the ase
of G2 ;ears, receive a pension at the
rate of 15 a month; at the ase cf t5
years. ,$20 a month; at the ase of TO
years, $25 a month: and at the age of
75 years or over $36 a month
"The present plan of granting pen- j
slons ty private bills is unsatisfac
tory." taid Mr. Graham. "The pro
cess is too slow. And often when tar
dy relief is given it comes too late
' to Jo jiny good.
"During the present session I got
, private bills through for two cf my "oid
: , :T" .1, h " , T1,; ",u a Jl'vi us "u" in,s! cause Senator I .a Follette had been
is an object lesson hich need, no cx-,m- option of the true responsibility , workil for more than a year to have
Planation as to the need or r.gont of the press to itself .no to the party a a fcr of h, the nam
law. and more effective methods for for which it speaks e very dav anC i of JIcE, appointed. "Anvthing to
the protection and preservation of hu-jweek the year around in off-years as : d!s5COurflRe La Follette" is the slogan
man life in connection with the carry- j well as in on-years when there are no at fhe WhUe house ,t wouM nJtg
ngonof business enterprises present-. oms n sRht and no conventions to su u. ,f , p
ing such hazards as coal mining rail- he held as well as ,n the heat of U,e ! TaU , lhp event Taft FhouW be
road operation and all manufacturing poluical conflict the remonstrances , n0min:;tO(1 anrt tne democratic nom
recjuiring the use of dangerous ma- jand warn.rgs of the democratic nes- . fc be
chlnery. (papers will surely contribute to sue- i recsiVe
boys' and hastened to notify them of jets, flannels, carpets, men's, women's ! Most of her gowns the made her
tlie f ne prospects ahead, only to learajand children's underwear, shawls, knit j self.
that they had been mustered out to an
swer 'Here! when the grand reveille
sounded on the other shore, and that
they had spent their last days practic
ally dependent upon the kindness and
the charity of neighbors.
"Shortly before the close of his life,
in one of his last public official utter
ances, the great-hearted, kind, gentle
President Lincoln urged on the people
the duty 'to bind up the nation's
wounds, and to care for him who shall
have borne the battle, and for his
widow and his orphans,' and surely no
more sacred duty could lie before us;
and while this bill is, perhaps, not
as liberal as it ought to be, let us, by
our cheerful and our generous unan
imity in the giving of it, make up for
any deficiency in the merits of it."'
The Democratc Press and the Oppor
tunity. Major J. C. Hemphill of the Rich
mond (Va.) Times-Dispatch was one of
the speakers at the Jackson day meet
ing at Baltimore the other day, and is
the only editor who 6poke at that nota
ble assembly. .
Responding to tbe toast, "The Dem
ocratic Prett," Major Hemphill outlined
his views of what the democratic
newspapers should do to insure a con
tinuance of party success. He declared
therj were now nearly 23,000 news-
paI,ers ln the United States' and that
as thv increased in numbers the per-
centage of illiteracy per thousand of
the population decreased correspond
ingly. "This great celebration would
utterly fail in its purpose but for the
press of the country," he said. "Hero
there are assembled a thousand men,
feasting on this democratic food in
pure Jacksonian simplicity, speaking
their thoughts and planning for their
states and here their work would
fail but for the million? of people out
side these walls who will learn
through the newspapers of what is
said here and what is done at this
gathering of earnest-minded men in
tent at heart only upon saying the
things and doing the thing3 which will
1 fi trv tVIq nit !rn n n on KivV v -
dom and assurance to all men every
where in the words of Abraham lati
coln that 'government of the peopi?,
by the people, for the people, shall not
perish from.this earth." "
Major Hemphill declared that the
believes and why it believes." He
regretted that in many quarters the': -press
was charged with generally hav-jKOods and other wooien manufactures
ing an eye to tne main ahance ana ,
insincerity. Even Andrew Jack-
son, he said, had his suspicions as to
tne integrity or the newspapers o"
"Over asrainst this unsenerous r-
! fjft-tion upon the integrity cf the press
! by 'lie great South Carolinian who.se
i virtues we extol!," he continued
I "should be placed the better estimate
! of Thomas Jefferson thru if he had to
choose between government by news
(papers or government without news
! papers he would choose government by
.... , f hnna.tw thro
will be general acccpnute ot t;?? .Icf-
fersonian idea; but it is noi tn,3 mucU
. . , ulshovv its contempt for mere downward
ito oxpect that self-respecting ne -spa-: . , ... .
. ,1 .1. , revision of the tariff, raised the price
pers shall msists that they, as well as i . , . . . .
,u , . - V.: Z ot luniber so that before the members
the politicians, have the right of pri- , - . ..
,. . . ' . . , of congress got away from ashing-
vate judgment, and that, knowing
wh:i' d?incracy hilpii; the j shall ncjt
!e led into the wilderness ot p iliiic
al experimentation just to se how
this, that or the other fashion fits.
The hobble skirt has had its day, and
it is the duty of the deomcia'ic press
to help get the party back into tuo
middle of the road.'
The democratic -press, the spes'ker ?s that genuine progressives are liable
cautioned, should see to it thut ii j lo boit the party iu case or hjs renom
exevcised judgment without bittor-1 inatlun for the presidency, which is
ness or subserviency. Independence : practically certain. The president nom
and fairness were the cornerstones o. j hiated Guy X. Goff to be the United
thr temple of democratic safety, he : str.rcs distri.t attorney at Milwaukee.
a't lLtl- ! Goff s-enis to have a good record, but
"The press should have the
age," he concluded
tO Say tO thlS.
that or the other lawgiver, in
siir .t of St. Paul: 'Who made thee a
. 4,,A-r- - tr:.i. . . t .
;crss or ine parry ana to tuo complete
i restoration of this government to the
jTARIFF FOR REVENUE
ONLY IS DEMOCRATS'
(Continued from Page One.)
in and the government will collect more
revenue, while at the same time the
consumer will buy his gocds at a lower
On the other hand, rates above th? I
maximum revenue-producing rate, a!
though the dominant idea is protection, j
produce some revenTrc. which diminish-.;
cs precisely in the proportion as the
rates approximate the prohibitive.
So rrruch for the manner of the tariff '
re vision by the. democrats. Now here j
how the common people are con-
i cerned: ' cave t een arnoDe the leaders of the in-
j There will be a big reduction on j surgents, but tis now famous declara
i nearly every article in the woolen tion ,hat "il Is better to eiect the worst
j schedule. The democrats will lead erf repMhYlcaa than the best democrat"
Uu'h this srhPdnie hrrauso it i thr-1 r'ace3 him at the bottom of the heap.
most obnoxious feature of the Payne-1
Aldrich-Smoot law, and works a severe
hardship on all who use wcolens. and
r ear: ewyone dees , President Taft
himself declares the woolen schedule
to be "indefensible."
will be err now.
It Is certain the 105 per cent tax on
worcen's woolen drees goods will be
out way down. The duty cn men's
doihing will also be reduced. BIak-
Wholesale Election Corruption Charge Probed
In Danville, 111., Speaker Cannon's Home City.
r Mv S$ jy-:r-j IwR mN
Wholesale vote corruption of a magnitude that casts Into a shadow the recent exposures at West Union, O., Is
threatened in Vermilion county. 111., and Danville, the county seat and home of Speaker Joseph G. Cannon, is the
center of the proceedings. While the Adams county Buckeyes confessed to selling their votes for $3 and $5, the
Illinoisans went as high as $ir0, it is alleged, and it Is estimated that the Democrats recently spent $40,000 to carry
Danville. Westville, south of the county seat, is said to contain 1,000 purchasable voters, the price averaging $8,
who are organized into regular clubs to keep up ballot prices. Danville's negotiable vote is said to total 3,500, and
the old Soldiers' home contains 1.200 votes more, usually for sale. The investigation is of a nonpartisan nature, as the
presiding judge. E. R. E. Klmbrough, is a Democrat, while the state attorney, John H. Lawman, is a Republican.
The foreman of the grand Jury, Isaac Woodyard, Is a former farmer and head of a bank at a small town near Dan
ville. He asserts that votes have been sold openly for twenty years in Vermilion county. All elections in the
county for the last three years will be affected by the results. This includes Speaker Cannon's re-election to con
gress last November.
are now taxed from SO to 140 per cent.
! and the rates on all these articles will
The democratic ways and means com
mittee will probably recommend the
repeal of the tariff on wood pulp, print
paper, lumber, timber and logs, and
placo these articles on the free list.
The lumber trust has such complete
control of the lumber business that a
downward revision of the tariff fails to
be effective so far as protecting the
common man from excessive prices.
When the Payne-Aldrich-Smoot bill was
framed the duty oa a certain class of
lumber was reduced $1 per thousand
feet, find he lumber trust, as if to
ton the price had gone up $2. The
Denver democratic platform of 1903
pledges the party to place wood pulp
and lumber on the free list.
TAFT Pl.MSIIKS IXSIRGEXTS.
President. Taft is still fighting des
perately to check the progressive
movement, probably because he realiz
q C n fw hia nnn.i n 'it irrt Drooirtant
Tfi f t It l rlmrp-Pfl hv nrnrrnccfva v
rubllrans. appointed Goff simply be-
A PLACE FOR THE RECALL.
In defending Lorirncrism on the floor
of the United States senate, Julius
Caesar Burrows of Michigan said: j
"Tllerp 1a ahsolllf f'v nr. nrnnf in tho '
easn. direct or indirect, from which a
legitimate inference could be drawn
that a single member of the general as
sembly of Illinois was corruptly in
fluenced to vote for Mr. Lorimer." If
I the recall was in use in Michigan, and
j the people of the state would read the
! testimony in the Lorimer case, it is
I the above statement would have cost
Senator Julius Caesar Burrows his
place in congress.
CI MM1XS IS NO LEADER NOW.
A report was recently sent out from
Washington referring to Senator Cum-
mins of Iowa 88 the "recognized leader
jor ine insurgents. Cummins might
He can Eerer outlive this mistake.
is the real insurgent
"Best Dressed Woman Dead.
St. Louis. Mo., Jan. 26. Mrs.
jJohn V.". Loader, the best dressed
I woman ic St. Louis, dipri vmtorlar
she had been ill since last Septem-
ber. when she collapsed at Palm
Beach. It was Mrs. Loader's taste
which enabled her to win her tVtle.
I ouwn; H-LEW HAN ,1 PL
i "i . r.ii i i ! w V2L m icihx'X
The Argus Daily Short Story
Queer Miss Egerton
Copyrighted. 1910. by
Miss Marcia Egerton was a peculiar
girl. She seldom did anything as any
one else would do it and was always
doing things ln a way that no one else
would think of doing them. It is the
purpose of this story to chronicle the
roundabout way she acted in a mat
ter that concerned herself and several
In the first place. Miss Egerton,
who was an orphan, inherited a large
estate and came into possession of
It when 6he was eighteen years old.
The next most Important thing about
her was an Intimate friend. Before
her mother's death, when she was but
twelve years old, she had conceived ft
violent affection for Agnes Hart, who
was badly named, because she was not
possessed of a heart at all. Marcia's
mother opposed the Intimacy and when
her daughter was sixteen years old
sent her off to school with no other
purpose than to get her away from Ag
nes, but without avail. The two
girls kept up an almost daily corre
spondence during the whole period of
their separation and on Marcia's re
turn were more intimate than before.
Mrs. Egerton died when Marcia was
twenty, leaving her daughter her own
mistress and ln possesison of a large
property. She took her friend Agnes
to live with her and lavished upon her
everything a girl could desire. Several
young men, each of whom would have
liked to win Marcia either for herself
or her fortune, declared that they were
unable to separate her long enough
from ber girl friend to do so. And it
was facetiously remarked that any one
who married Miss Egerton must have
Marcia became Interested ln a young
man Edwin Bond who found more
opportunity to court than he availed
himself of. He admired Marcia; but.
having no fortune himself, he objected
ed one Ue w one of those young
men who feel the zest of making a
place for themselves in the world and
knew that to do this he must be forced'
on by a powerful stimulns, for the
man who marries a fortune is provid
ed for, and he pays the price, which is
TWO PXSSOXS ETTXaXD.
in nine cases In ten constantly be
ing reminded that his wife holds the
parse strings and money is power.
Marcia, not making any headway
with Edwin Bond, chose another lover,
Cecil Baxter. Mr. Baxter was a fre
quent visitor at her house and divided
Lis attentions between the two girl.
By Emma Morehouse.
Associated Utormry Prase.
His" inclinations drew him rather to
ward Agnes than Marcia, but since
Marcia possessed a fortune and Agnes
was poor he accepted the encourage
ment of the former and proposed to
her and was accepted.
When a certain scheme of Marcia
Egerton's was whispered about, all
who heard it wondered at her infatua
tion for her bosom friend. On the
ground that she did not feel that she
would live long she made a will leav
ing half her estate to a charitable in
stitution to be named for and ln mem
ory of her mother. The other half
she divided between her lover and her
Those who were observant noticed
that Baxter's inclinations were rather
toward his fiancee's friend than his
fiancee. They also noticed that the
friend, except when the fiancee was
present, did not show any disposition
to compel Mr. Baxter to reserve his
especial attention for his betrothed.
These people said, "What a pity that
Marcia should not take herself off to
heaven, leaving the poor their share of
her estate and the lovers the rest of
it." And yet there were others who
claimed that, no matter what happens
out of usual and conventioual lines,
tongues will wag; that these three
young people understood one another
thoroughly, and that was all there was
about it All agreed that the bequest
was very lovely in Marcia, who was
just the kind of girl to look out for the
happiness of others and was as simple
minded as a child.
Meanwhile Marcia Egerton seemed
to be slowly failing. Her physician
advised her to visit other lands. Sln"0
she couldn't very well go alone it was
suggested that she be married and
travel with a man. But she replied
that she did not propose to throw any
such obloquy upon a husband as mnk
Ini a courier of biro. Then it wa.i
announced that she would take ber
girl friend with her. At this every one
said: "That is exactly what was to
have been expected. The society of
the bosom friend is necessary; that of
the fiance is not."
The two friends one day in January
sailed on a Mediterranean steamer for
Egypt. That is the last any one In
America heard from them for several
months; then one day Agnes returned,
saying that she bad left Marcia start
ing for a trip through the Holy Land.
She reported her friend very much im
proved ln health and not at all averse
to traveling alone. Agnes was tired
of traveling and preferred to go home.
As soon as Marcia learned this, which
Agnes said she bad tried to keep a
secret, Marcia would not hear of her
remaining abroad any louger. Agnes,
after refusing for a long while to re
turn, bad been literally compelled to
do so by Marcia.
Since Agnes and Baxter were seen
together a great deal after hr return
critical persons said that Agnes bad
come home x purposely to monopolize
him. Tbe case excited more talk than
any social happening that bad been
dlscnssed ln the place for years. Every
one wondered that Marcia Egerton
should be so blind. By some she was
blamed for offering Inducement for
crime. Here were two lovers between
whom she stood and who might be
tempted to put ber out of the way that
they might be nnited, each with con
aid erabie mecr. into possession of
which they wo J come at ber death.
Then came a report that an Ameri
can lady traveling in the Holy Land
had been robbed and murdered. The
report was confirmed, and the lady's
name was given as Marcia Egerton.
She had gone off on an excursion to a
lonely place with a single guide where
there was something curious to see,
and he had returned to report that
they had been set upon by thugs, the
lady murdered and her money, includ
ing traveler's checks, taken. He said
that he had buried the body at tbe
place of the mnrder.
Baxter cabled and wrote to United
States consuls nearest the scene of the
tragedy asking for information. Noth
ing was adduced except the statement
of Miss Egerton's guide, which was
taken down in writing and sworn to.
After waiting six months for tho girl
to turn up. nothing having been beard
from her, the will was admitted to
The evidence of the testator's death
being deficient, the case dragged. Cer
tain relatives who had hoped to bene
fit by the will opposed a settlement of
the estate under the plea that there
was not sufficient evidence that Miss
Egerton was dead. It was six months
after the reported death hat the chan
cery court agreed to pay over to bene
ficiaries the three parts into which the
estate was divided by the will.
About this time the announcement
was made of the engagement of Cecil
Baxter and Agnes Hart. A statement
went forth that Marcia Egerton bad
bad a presentiment that she would be
summarily cut off and had requested
in the event of her being so that the
lover was to marry her friend. With
angelic unselfishness she had provided
in her will for their comfort. This
satisfied every one except certain per
sons who had been watching Mr. Bax
ter and Miss Hart. They averred that
though they might state truly Miss Eg
erton's part of the transaction it left
much to be explained on the part of
the two who were about to be mar
ried and inherit a fortune from her
who was to have been tbe bride.
Baxter and Miss Hart were finally
able to count on a date when their In
heritance would be paid over to them,
and they arranged to be married the
day after receiving It. They agreed
that they would place a stained glass
window ln the church they attended to
the memory of the noble girl who had
left each of them a comfortable for
tune. The plan was laid, but the order
for the work was not to be given until
their property had been turned over to
them. For a wedding trip they were
to go to the Holy Land to gather infor
mation of the woman they loved and.
if possible, bring the body home for
One day they received a notice from
their attorney that the papers in the
case of their Inheritance would be ex
ecuted tbe next morning at 11 o'clock.
On the appointed morning they call
ed on their lawyer and were taken by
him to the office where the transfer
was to be made.- While they were sit
ting there two rersons entered, one of
whom especially they had not expected
to see. They were Edwin Bond and
Marcia Egerton, now Mrs. Bond.
There is no record of what was
said between the testator, who had re
turned to life, and her expected heirs.
All that is known about the sequel to
the meeting Is that Mr. Baxter and
Miss Hart were never married. As to
the memorial window, it was not re
quired. Many blamed Mrs. Bond for her ac
tion in deceiving her two friend, es
pecially for going abroad and hiring
a native to report her murdered. How
she made it up with Boud she never
told, but it was known that he weir
abroad while she was there and tb.-y
were married there.
It has been said at the beginning of
this story that Miss Egerton w:i a pe
culiar girl. What she meant by her
performance, at what point she di
covered the truth alout axer and
Agnes, she neve" told any one. She
certainly went fnr out of her way to
punish them, and wnlshed them vry
severely. Whether thov received nior
than thev deserved is n question.
The dollar Is elusive: it's hard to
keep, it won't go far, and it's hard
to get back.
Money is a setback to man when
It makes it impossible for him to
get back to the "simple life;" man
over-estimates his wealth when he
allows it to interfere with his health.
Money will buy meat for tho meal
and It will sometimes make men
marry, but it won't always make suc
cess; money Isn't "worth a penny"
if man hasn't of wit and wisdom,
There are three classes of people
in the world; those who have
money, those whom money has huI
those who are "penny wie and
pound foolish" haven't any money
and don't know how to get It.
Money, when made to 'make others
than the owners happy, becomes
God's money and buys them mer
chandise of heaven.
Some people love gold over-much
and seek gain rather than Cod: they
would rather give the devil his
'Mues" than to pay for church pewc.
Man gets dross, who labor for
gold because of the glitter it gives;
the real delights of l fe come fror.i
higher heights than man reaches in
hi3 gamble for gold.
Jan. 26 in American
1S1L i. ..:....... .'jL-atf i
ney general of the Lulled Slates,
died: born lH-'3.
1007 Hev. Henry Martyn Fi-'.d. cler
gyman and author, former editor
cf the New York Evangelist. dieJ
Humor and -1
Xr 9VACAA M, SMITH
"JORE than one nmn has died a
bnchelor liccaune the girl he was
In love with anil wa afraid to propose
to didn't have the courage of her con
victions. Few men know how to treat a wife,
but they get competent instruction
after they are m;irried.
The mills of the god grind slowly
I Indeed when you are waiting to see
the man you dislike get what's com
ing to him.
We seldom know when we are well
off, but we lenrn it after we have been
Man's woes are as a tale that Is told
alas, too often!
Sometimes a man thinks that n
can't live without a certain woman,
only to find after the ceremony that
he can't live with her.
A fool and a get-rlch-qulck scheme
are sure to find one another.
The champion mean man Is tbe one
who makes his family all walk five
hours a day because shoe leather is
yet cheaper than coal.
A husband who can cook and wash
dishes Is simply Indispensable in then
days of uncertain domestics.
Why can ww not have winter
When it should be In stent?
I'd hate to have the printer
Bte what I long- to write
About the kind of weather,
DefylnK all the laws.
That's sort of thrown together
For January thawa.
A fellow starts to saying
When looking- at the snow,
"We ouRht to have goxl sleighing
About a month or so."
And when he gets his cutter
He finds, to his regret.
The roads are soft as butter
And growing softer yet.
The stuff the fellow mixes.
Our careless weather man.
Is all at sevens and sizes
And quite without a plnn.
We go out In the morning
To skate the glassy track.
And then with little warning
We have to wade tt buck. .
It makes a man feel ready
To lead a life of crime
When winter should be steady
And working all the time
To have It ralne the limit
And try to flood the street
So ho will have to swim It
And soak in Ire his feet.
"My father doesn't spend much mon
ey." "Maybe he has none."
"Oh. yes. he has a lot of It,"
"What does be do with It?"
"I spend It for him so he won't have
They Come Regular.
"How is your watch. I'edro?" asked
the South American wife.
"On time, I think."
"Si-ems a little off to me."
f Perhaps it Is a trifle. I will set It
by' tbe next revolution anyway."
"Your sister Is, I believe, nn old
"Beg pardon, n bachelor girl."
"What Is the difference?"
"Oh, a couple of tbouHnud a year."
"I beat my wife
K.iid the little man
ly and us though
it were the thing
"lltMit your wife,
you monster! I
don't l-clk-ve a
word of It."
"I did, though."
"And got off
I 'Sure! I beat
b- IfT out of a nlc-kt-1;
didn't know the dlf-
"His argument h.-ixu't u leg to stand
"foesn't need It."
"Appears to me to.be standing on
Asking To Much.
Will you take n charu-e on thin
"1 don't know. You might send it
up to the house on approval and let us
try it a month."
Jurt to Pleats Her.
"I am going to sue LUa for breach of
"Hut lie has no rn iiey."
"So, but he has another girl."
"Ye, ard It speaks every tongue
known to man."
A pptarsref a.
A rooster rai.n't Inv en e;;
r.u!. Ifriirur to his loud iilarm
Arid seeing how he r'rirr. t,ln set,
A person rnlgt.t f-r1 anfe to it
That he could lrnot lar it farm.
Have you, a weak throat? If so,
you cannot be too careful. You can
not begin treatment too early. Each
cold makes you mare liable to anoth
er and tbe last is always tbe harder
to cure. If you will take Chamber
Jain's Cough Itemed? at 'the outset
xcu will be saved much trouble. Sold
by all druggists.