Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLAXD ARGUS, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1911.
Pnfcllabed DiUkhI Weekly at iS
Second irennt. Itock Island. 111. En
tered at tb portofflc as second-claea
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Daily. 10 cent PC wMk.
IWeakly. II par year In advance,
i All aommimloations of arg-u mntatl ve
character, pollUeel or relis'lous. muat
nave real nam attached for publica
tion. Ko euon articles will be printed
ver fiatitlona etg-natarea.
Correspond euoe solicited from every
township In Rock la land county.
Thursday, February 2, 1911.
Lo rimer was surely touted to s
Brown finish In the United States
As the rainbow is to the pot of
gold at its foot, so is the seed cata
logue of winter to next summer's
Champ Clark says that the demo
crats will elect the next six presi
dents. For onr part we will be sat
isfied with five.
Diaz says he will smother the Mex
ican rebels in 60 days'. He must
overestimate the number of postof
fices at his disposal.
What's the sense in kicking be
cause you have to take the ashes
from under the furnace? A man in
Iowa has sued for divorce because
his wife made him sleep with the
California. Colorado and Nevada
were the states which produced the
most gold last year, that is from their
mines, but Illinois would not trade its
corn with any of these states for its
The coming type of aeroplane or hy
droplane that will fly through the air,
cut through the water or run over the
iana wim equal racimies win oe a com-
btaation that wil be deserving of a , haf been purchaged by Rrt J. Col
fcetter name than it is likely to get. ub,lsher of ColIJer.s Weekly, and
Opposition to a 25 per cent recall;
amendment to the commission plan
of government law comes mainly
from opponents of clean government.
Its honest foes will be convinced if
they take the trouble to study the.
Some of the newspapers are be-! nuence through its more than 400,000
ginning to herald the appearance of j subscribers. The subscription will re
the first robin. It is no nature fake ! irain for the present at $1.00 a year,
to suggest to ihose learned natural-1 The new address wil be The House-
lBts that this is perhaps the same !
robin that has been eating with tbe
chickens in the feed lot all winter.
An Uneven IHHrlliution of Churches. I
In Colorado, within 70 miles of Den-;
ver there is a promising village of
. AAA 1 V. I j. ... f",V. f. -. 1
l.iira luuauuiii.i a, Iy .'i.-uit's ouluuci
Tator in an Article in Success maga
zine entitled "The Mad Race for
Souls." In that illlage there are eight
Round about the mountains are com
munities that have from 30 to 90 pupils
In the public school, and can muster
150 adults at an all-night dance. This
population is scattered, the pupils go
to school on burros and on horseback.
Kor some reason lhtt noiilp havp no
- - a-- a ri o iiia-i uiiaui v hi ojiiiicr
church of Sunday school. j Jn the literary firmanent as brightly as
Bishop Anderson of the Episcopal (he has In drama. Joe Chappie opens
diocese of Chicago says that there are! his Washington department with the
40 towns in Illinois, ranging from 200 comment that The personal correspon
to 800 in population, without a church, idence between President Taftand Col-
It rather looks as if some of the leanl0ncl Roosevelt suggests the melliflu-
churches should be cut out of the herd
and led to new pastures.
The Pittsburg Leader says the
West Virginia republican legislators
whom Brother C. P. Taft has been
beating over in Ohio "seem to be
trying to bring their party into dis
repute. "The refusal to organize the state
senate because tbe democrats are in
the majority is both wicked and
"The Leader firmly believes that
any man has a right to refuse to be
bound by the action of a party cau-
ens, but, if elected to represent the ,
people, he has not the right to re-
fuse to do the work for which the;
people are paying him a salary,
"There is a wide difference be
tween refusal to abide by caucus
rule and refusal to assist in organ
izing a legislative body that public
business may be transacted.
"The West Virginia republican
senators who, for political spite, ab
sent themselvee and block all legis
lation are certainly recreant to their
trust and are doing much toward de
stroying the future hopes of their
Judicial Salaries. -While
tbe vote in the national
house of representatives on an
amendment to the judiciary code
proposing a raise in the salaries of
United States circuit court judges is
regarded as a test vote, it will prob
ably not be a finality. The question
of a proper remuneration for the
members of the federal bench has
been embodied in bills pending in
both houses of congress and will,
doubtless, come up again: and the
question ought to be disposed of on
its merits. It is undeniable that,
comparatively speaking, the salaries
of federal judges are low.
A United States district judge re
ceives $6,000 and a circuit judge
$7,000 a year. When one of the lat
ter Is called to sit as a judge in a
circuit court of appeals he ranks
hlfher than a Judge cf the court of
.commerce; his decisions are rerers
LablOnJy. by the supreme court and i
in most cases they are unappealable
and final. Tet a judge of the court
of commerce, who is in fact merely
a circuit Judge temporarily assigned
to special duty, gets $1,500 per
year more in salary. Referees in
bankruptcy often earn twice as much
a year as the district Judges who ap
point them. Members of the board
of general appraisers receive $9,000
a year and members of the interstate
commerce commission $10,000, half
as much again as the judges who, un
til quite recently, heard appeals
from their decisions.
It is proposed by the bill pend
ing in congress to raise the salaries
of justices of the United States su
preme court to $17,500. The lord
chancellor of Great Britain is the re
cipient of $50,000 a year; the master
of the rolls gets $30,000, and jus
tices of the king's bench $25,000
each. The Justices of the supreme
court in New York receive $17,500
each per year. To raise the pay of
justices of United States supreme
court to the same amount cannot,
therefore, be regarded as extrava
gant. The remuneration of district
and circuit Judges it is proposed to
increase to 59.000 and $10,000, re
spectively. As these Judges are al
lowed no mileage, though their cir
cuits never cover less than three
states and one circuit extends over
13, the proposed increase is not im
moderate. The total additional ex
penditure involved is $400,000 a
year, and all this could be saved by
abolishing the duel organisation of
circuit and district courts now ex
isting in each of the 89 judicial dis
tricts, making one set of clerks,
commissioners and criers to do ser
vice for both courts. If congress has
a desire to reduce the cost of the ad
ministration of Justice there Is room
for cutting down lavish expenditures
for fees and for the printing and cer
tification of records expenditures
which caused a sarcastic member of
the federal Judiciary to exclaim that
"there is no place for a poor man
in the courts of the United States ex
cept on the bench."
Field of Literature
The Housekeeper Changes Home.
Beginning with the March issue The
Houkeeper magazine, published in
,fi or-lc ., t -c0,
Conde Nast, publisher of Vogue, Tra-
vel and Home and Garden. The high
standard of the editorial department
will not be changed but will be aug
mented by the new publishers. The
Housekeeper is now in its thirty-fourth
year as a publication devoted to the
interests of the home has a wide in-
keeper corporation, 443 Fourth avenue,
New York city.
The "Valentine" National Magazine.
with a avetv rather unusual for
the dienlfied National magazine, with
, t masculine covers and lusty
spirit, the current issue of Joe Chap
pie's Boston magazine appears with
a shy and sweet sixteen head and
hair arranged in the very latest coif
fure. The effect is positively stun
ning. Announcement Is made that
William Hodge, the "Man from Home,"
is to be presented as an author. The
opening chapters of the serial story.
V. . , JTC T
I'll I A vA 1 V II U 11V14I . U-A-I - kll ClillVI :
nii,n. nAIi ..rtn ok- ;
ence of the Valentine month. There is
a dash of elbow gossip about every
phase of government affairs at Wash
ington, and the inimitable stories from
the cloak room are told as onlv the
editor of the National can tell thm
As a reminder of Washington's
birthday, Joseph G. Butler. Jr., the
lone American in an excursion party,
describes in an interesting Illustrated
sketch the home of the Washingtons
in England, still standing. That irre
pressible humorist. Dr. Russell K. Car
ter, tells a fetching story of "Teddy's
Trip to Mars," in his usual down-to-tbe-minute
etyle. The birth month of
Lincoln is remembered In the splendid
lines of Henry Dumont
The frontispiece has a suggestion of
the psychic wave of the "Golden
West" that is sweeping over the
country in opera and play. In "The
Musical Season in America," Arthur
Wilson describes the new Humper
dinck opera, "The Goose Girl," in
which Geraldine Farrar starred.
George Wharton James tells the story
of "How Mark Twain was Made," giv
ing many Interesting and unpublished
incidents In connection with the early
Career of the inimitable Clemens.
"The Rapid Disappearance of the For
ests." is the subject of an elaborately
illustrated article on the forestry situ
ation. The photographs were furnish
ed by the government. In "The NobiW
ity of Trades" the shipbuilder is told
The World's Work, Booker T.
Washington in the February World's
Work gives for the first time an ac
count of how his famous dinner
with President Roosevelt at the
White house came about. He has
hitherto refused to discuss this sub
ject in print.
The February Woman's Home Com
panion. The February number of
Woman's Home Companion is a de
lightful St. Valentine number. There!
is a special valentine song, valentine i
ideas, and a valentine book list. The ;
fiction includes another part of "The '
Admiral's Niece." a story by Kate
Douglas Wiggin and her collaborat-i
ors, which is making a big hi;; "In
Luke Lea, Tennessee's Newly Elected Senator,
Is Youngest Member In Congress' Upper House.
Luke Lea, the newly elected senator from Tennessee, Is one of the yonngeet members ever elected to the upper
branch of congress and is also the possessor of one of the shortest names that ever figured oa Its roll call. Lea
Is but thirty-two and will form quite a contrast to the eldest senator. Isaac Stephenson of Wisconsin. Senator
Stephenson has not much of an age margin over Shelby M. Cullom of Illinois, but he naa It. having been born In
Xew Brunswick June 18. 1829, as against Cullom's Kentucky date of Nov. 22 in the same year. Lea semes of old
Tennessee stock, is owner of a Nashville newspaper and has been admitted to the bar. He is credited with being
the man who made former Governor Malcolm R. Patterson and also with being bis detbroner. Former Senator Ed
ward W. Carmack, who was killed by the Coopers, father and son. was editor of Lea's paper at the time. Lea also
had much to do with the election of Ben W. Hooper, a Republican, to the eorernorship on a fusion ticket last fall.
the Land of Tomorrow." by Maude
Radford Warren is now in its second
part and is proving most exciting.
Short stories in this number are con
rtibuted by such well-known authors
I B Altrp Rrnwn Tfnlhert fnntner.
Owen Oliver and Mary Heaton
Vorse. The third part of "Spain's
Royal Love Story" by Kellogg Dur
land is devoted entirely to the story
of three little children of the king
and queen of Spain and is a charm
ing and "homelike tale. Frank A.
Waugh opens our eyes to tli? bc-auty
of the winter forest in an article en
titled "My Tree Friends in Winter;"
Kate V. Saint-Maur in a short ar
ticle entitled "The Care of Ca?e
Birds," gives us valuable informa
tion concerning our feathered pets.
i "American Portrait-Painters," by .1.
Nilsen Laurvik, is the first of a new
series on art in America and love
scenes from the most popular plays disappeared, presently returning with
of the season are shown. The home ; a large box, which she opened and
decoration and handicraft depart-j disclosed under tissue paper wrap
ment is even more comprehensive j pings a huge round cake.
than usual taking up the questions
of the small apartment and the
country house, "Dotty Darling and
the Kewpies" still make fun for the
children and "The Adventures of
Jack and Betty" form one of the j
most enthralling of little folks feat
ures. Miss Gould's fashion depart
ment is excellent with modish and
COURT HOUSE RECORD
Real Estate Transfers.
Hmnr II StnffnrH In W n nnrt f
IV. Marchant, tract in .N. E. 31-18-1E,;
j .-, ,
Klla R. Ayres to Ieon N. Bourdcau, '
lots l, 2, 3, and 4, block 8, Howard s I
addition to the city of Rock Island. !
111 $5f0 I
Charles O. Lewis to John and Mary j
P Knrth irart in F! V r S1.17-:
Guyer. White and Pope to Harry E. ;
Winters. lot 7, block 128 Xew Shops ;
addition. East Moline, 111.. $350. j
John H. Koran and wife and Mary j
E. Benson and husband to Johu K.
Wagner, undiv. l-5, lot 3, block 4
Ridgeview addition, Moline, III., j
Charles E. Radden to Irene J. Fri
berg, lot 6. block 3, Radden's First ad- j
dition to the city of East Moline, 111., ;
Charles E. Radden and wife to J
George F. Friberg, lot 7, block 3, Rad-1
dens' First addition to the city of East
Moline, III., ($275.
City Steam Laundry
Eeid & Bollman, Prop.
415-417 Seventeenth St.
Ri-k Island. III. Phone 009-Y.
We have just installed the
latest improved Floran
Collar Edger and
Does not break collars, folds
them perfectly, makes all the
three edges perfectly smooth.
Would be pleased for the
public to call and see it work.
The Argus Daily Short Story
The Cake That Billy Bought By Martha J. Towne.
Copyrighted. 1910. by Associated Literary praaa,
The door of the Woman's Exchange
swung open and closed behind Billy
Delwln's broad back. For an Instant
he hesitated, besieged by a battery of
feminine eyes. Then be strode . for
ward to the counter, where under
glass cases were arranged handsome
and toothsome cakes of every descrip
tion and variety.
With his bat under hie arm he stared
down at the cakes with a calculating
eye. "I want a plum cake," he said
unally. "Have you got one today?" ,
Wait a minute." And the woman
Billy't. eyes sparkled dangerously as
he surveyed tbe beautiful cake. "I'll
take It," he said quickly. Then be
added a question, "Is it plum cake?"
"Yes, Indeed, and perfectly dell-
clous," said the woman enthuslasti-
Then it was that he summoned cour
age to lean forward and ask a ques
tion in a low voice, "Is it against the
rule to mention tbe name of the mem
ber who baked this cake?"
The cash register clanged noisily as
tbe woman turned away. "Against
the rules," she said crisrly.
"May I inquire." persisted Billy hesi
tatingly, his voice still lower, "If this
j cake was baked erer by an old
Tbe attendant smiled shrewdly over
her "boulder. "It's against the rules
to ment,on afces also." she returned.
"ce ,n tbe street he boarded a car
U1JU "Hs --uveyeu we or ies
i rapidity to his bachelor rooms.
took tbe cake from Its box.
"I dunno. That's more like It than
any of 'em," he muttered as he went
tn and fm hnstllv rninvlnv f hft thlnffa
from Ubrary taWe Then he laid
i several clean white towels on tbe pol
ished surface and. bringing from vari
ous places of concealment a number of
large round frosted cakes, he placed
"fM GOT TOtT VOW, FITTX.MB Gn.M-
them In a row on the table. There
were seven in alL
"Looks like a cake sale," be grinned
somewhat anxiously. "I hope none of
the chaps happen in. They'll think
I'm all off If the; see this layout; but,
by George. I'll find ber If It takes tbe
rest of my life!"
He walked around the table, survey
ing Its toothsome burden with a crit
ical eye. Of all the cakes be decided
that his last purchase was the hand
somest, the lightest and tbe most de
"Now for a taste," be said, plunging
a silver'knife in the first one. The
slice was clean and yellow and fall of
currants. Billy wrinkled bis nose dis
dainfully and laid dowa tbe slice.
"Phyiiis never made that one, he
commented. "Her cakes always have
raisins In. Now for tbe next oner'
One after another he tried tbe dif
ferent cakes, sniffing, tasting, exam
Uilae and shaking bis bead, dabiensiy i
after each operation.
At last he eame to his latest par
chase, tbe Valentine cake, and If one
watched him closely they might havs
observed that his cheeks paled and his
firm lips were compressed into straight
colorless lines. Suddenly be groaned
and laid down the knife.
"If this one shouldn't be hers!" he
muttered desperately, sad then, with
an upward fling of bis handsome bead,
be plunged tbe knife Into tbe cake near
its edge, careful not to disturb the dec
orations that adorned tbe top. He
drew out a piece, yellow and rich and
crumby, full of great raisins and tiny
flecks of spies.
With the air ef one participating In
some great ceremony Billy Delwln ate
the cake slowly, enjoying te tbe full
Its elusive flavor. When be bad fin
ished be laid down the knife and sat
down in a big leather covered chair.
the color flooding bis tanned cheeks.
"I've found her! I've found ber st
last!" be cried exultantly. "Nobody la
the world ever baked that cake except
Phyllis Giles! She made one last year
for ber Valentine parry eame arse.
same flavor, same decoration and you
"can't fool me, sir!"
He turned the cake slowly around
and viewed it from all sides. "Her
bands made it, she touched it, and sbo
placed all those little bard red hearts
about the edge, and not one of those
hearts is harder than Phyllis' owa
Heart or she would never have bidden
herself away from me In this manner.
As If Mr. Giles' failure and suicide
could make any other difference to me
than to feel more tenderly toward bert
ii nothing bad happened or if Phyllis
bad not bidden away after It was
over we should have been married by
this time Instead df my following up
the only clew I ever could get that
she had come to New York and was
baking cakes for tbe Woman's Ex
change! Tve bought plum cakes from
every exchange In tbe city, I believe,
until the women look oa me with sus
picion." He sat for a long Urn In
silence, and then be arose snd bundled
the cakes into their boxes.
The last purchase he wrapped care
fully and replaced In Its box. Then be
got into bis overcoat, picked up bis
hat and with the cake under bis ana
be sought tbe street. Presently ft
was once more standing before the
counter In tbe Woman's Exchange.
The tea tables were empty now, snd
there was no one around save tbe
stern visa red woman wbo bad waited
upon him earlier la tbe afternoon.
"Will you kindly break your role and
tell me tbe name of tbe young lady
wbo made this cake?" be asked with
tbe keenest anxiety la bis deep voice.
"It Is Impossible,' said tbe wotnaa
"Wooid yo forward letter te ber
if I should write oner pleaded Billy.
"Certainly, not!" And ber shocked
expression was tbe first glimmer of
humor that Billy bad seen in tbe dull
fabric of tbts wearisome chase after
tbe girt be loved.
"Will you call ber oa tbe telephone
and allow me to talk with ber?" per
sisted Billy. "Really, madam, you will
be making two people very happy V
"I could not da tbst either. X am
very serry sir, but it seems to me if
Miss Giles really wasted te see you
she would sot withhold ber address."
Tbe woman flushed with vexation at
tb slip she bad mad in thus revealing
the name BUly bad bees leasing te
"It Is Pbyllls, then!" be cried tri
wraphsntty. "I knew taat cake. He
body In tbe world can make a plum
cake Ilk PbyUis." bo explained wlta
eotbusiasm. The moment I tasted t
The harsh face softened a little. "Her
cakes are different from the others,"
she said lukewarmly, be eaid one
that she could make cakes tetter this J
anything e!se ii. tbe world, ssd so she j
ft"t-f1ffHHi tLe thins: she ouxbt
to do to gain n livelihood."
"Bless bar heart!" muttered Billy un
der bis brsata, knowing well that If he
bad bis own way that Phyllis' dainty
fingers should never bake a cake in
tbe world unless ft was for some es
pecial treat Tike St Valentine's day.
"Do you know wbst day tomorrow
will ber be demanded suddenly.
Tbe woman stared. "Talentlne's
day. of course." she said, busying her
self with tbe wares in the glass case.
"Wen, there tbe day when separat
ed sweethearts are reunited, you
know." blurted Billy sheepishly.
"Seems to me If I could help any one
along In that way I'd do It!"
"It iant part of tbe business." said
tbe woman Impatiently. "Really, sir.
I'd like te help yon out. but I simply
cannot divulge the names ef onr mem
bers." "Yery well, madam," cried BUly
grimly. 'TU find ber without your
help, nod when I do you'll lose tbe
beet cake maker In your members hip!"
Tbe door dosed noisily behind bis
Indignantly retreating form, sod the
woman tared after him for a 'brief
moment. "I wonder." she muttered
softly "I wonder if it wonld bve don
sny barm to have told him; be bad a
good face and he seemed so much In
earnest, snd. Just as be said, tomorrow
Is Valentine's dayT
In tbe street Billy paused for n mo
ment sad looked up and down. Sud
denly n little black gowned form
emerged from the crowd nnd paused
for aa instant before tbe door ef the
xeba&M and then laid a tentative
band on tbe knob.
BCly Delwln was beside ber in an
"Pbvinsr be cried sharply. Tr
got yon now. and you can't lose me
She uttered n little frightened cry
and turned a white face up to bis.
"Oh, Billy, Billy r she gasped. "Where
did yon come fromr
"X Just canto out of this exchange.
where tbe hearts of the attendants am
harder than tbe little red hearts on
your Valentine plum cake, for they
would not dlvnlge your address,
though I begged almost on my knees.
But I've got yon now, Phyllis Gllesl
Don't you darn enter that .ogre's den
He drew bar trembling form clots
to him, and tbey stood In tbe shadow
of tbe doorway, ber alight form lean
ing sgalnst him.
"How did you knew. Billy t How
did yon find me entr asked Phyllis
after a tittle ftflence.
Billy told ber of bis quest for tbe
cakes, ef the slight clew be had fol
lowed nnd ef bis purchase that night
of tbe Valentine plum cake, wbicb be
recognised as ber handiwork.
"Darting,- be whispered nfter it bad
been told, "tomorrow Is St Valen
tine's dsy. Ten have baked this cake.
and on it you have asked tbe question.
Will yon be my ralentlner Now, I
bought that cake and take It upon my
self to answer that question. I will be
your valentine under one condition."
"Wbst Is thatr asked Phyllis.
"That you will admit that you're not
sorry that X bought tbe cake."
"Sorry!" echoed Phyllis Joyfully.
"Why, BUly, I was thinking of yon
when I mads It, and I aplaibed so
many tears over the little red hearts
that they bled, and I bad to replace
them with others. BUly Delwln, X
thought you'd never come.""
The man who dodges hw work Is
likely td die in tbe poorhouse; when
man works only to shorten his hours
he shuts off his salary.
Tbe world will figure out your worth
by tbe producing power of your work;
what you make for yourself you will
have to take from another.
Be stable In business and you stand
ready to see success,- pluck and dar
ing sxs blest with equal sharing of tbe
power to win, in this present-day com
"Early to bed" Is right when you
bare plenty of fresh air In your bed
room, but you cannot keep strong by
keeping your windows closed tight all
the day long and then again at night
We must watch our thoughts to
avoid bad acts; the productive men
tality needs frequent weeding, for both
tbe wheat sad tbe tares grow hi rich-
Our acts are good or ill depending
upon whom we think our guiding an
gels are; angels of light lead us to
the right, but angels of darkness lead
the opposite way.
Every search of man for the un
known brings him a better knowledge
of wbst is and what ought to be; when
man labors to an end free from doubt,
there Is nothing that can not be found
Tour enthusiasm must be kept keyed
to tbe highest pitch by a mental atti
tude always looking forward to attain
ed; you will never close the "blr
deal" If you do not keep your interest
aglow with a burning seal.
Feb. 2 In American
184S Treaty of p;ue betweeo the
United Statee and Maxlr-u to-ned
1804 The famous war corvet Kear-
ssrgs. which vanquished the Con
federate cruiser AJsbasaa In ISO,
wrecked ts tbe Caribbean sea.
If I Had Eczema
I'd wash it away with that mild.
soothing liquid, D. D. D, Trial bot
tle. It cents. Relieves all kinds of
skin trouble, cleansing up the com
plexion as nothing else esn.
Tea. If I bsd any kisd of skis
trouble, I'd use D. D. D.
The Harper bouse pharmacy.
9r 9VACAT M. SMITH
rpHOSE who travel st a too rapid
pace may get light beaded with
Seeing frequently has s
do with net
An egotist flatters onry himself.
People who take offense easily art
bound to give it on or they would
soon be overburdened.
The individual wbo sever forgets a
favor is the one wbo does it
Tog s re a tactful person If yen al
ways treat with great cssaideratieu
tbe wife of the man to whom yon owe
When about six girls have explained
to a young man what be shouldn't do
be begins to get the Idea.
Were there such n thing as an Injunc
tion against aslnlnlty tbe injunction
machine would be busy.
A girl wbo can bake good cookies
doesn't need to frequent tbe parlors
of tbe beauty doctors.
It never rains but It pours cold wa
ter upon somebody's cherished scheme.
First Child Do you bare much trou
ble with your parents?
Second Child A whole lot
First Child Mine are always butting
in with advice.
Second Child Parents should learn
to speak only when tbey are spoken
Might Mske Him Lea sen Up.
"He le carrying on a desperate flirta
tion with bis stenographer." -"Does
bis wife know about ltr
"Somebody should put ber next"
"That would be cruel."
"No. It wouldn't She needs tbe
"No matter how improbable the story,
Jones can tell it without bed conse
quences." "He csnr
"Because nobody would believe him."
Nieely M atoned.
"Did your uncle have many adven
tures out west?"
"Yes; be used to go with Deadweed
"Wssn't be a fictitious character?"
"No more so than my uncle's adven
tures." Not In the Businoaa.
"I sm through with blm."
"II o Is a consummate idiot"
"He can't help that"
"Neither can h That is why I
bother with blm any mora,"
"Once be bsd a borne of hta own."
"Where is It now?"
"Same old place."
"Seemed to prefer the saloon, ae he
finally bad to stay there."
Would Starve First
"A man paid $20 for a ben's egg."
"Just one eggr
"I'd bate to be as hungry as that"
Kind of One.
"Is be a linguist r
"Well, be listens tn six different lan
Cuatom makes us ao much troublo.
Wo muat do aa otbora So.
If they're warlnf ahotrlnva doable
Tbat way wo muat tie our ahoo.
If wo havo to wear a collar
Whoa tbo day la hot aa ain
Uaeleaa 'tla to ralaa a holler.
Wo muat awath our nock and grin,
aa it la eonaldercd propor
Wharo tha Atria aapbyv blowe.
People wear a ring- of copper
Oansllns IlKhtly from tbo nooe.
Jn the far Pacific ocean
On iomi aunny favored !'
There the nattvee havo a notion
It'a oorroet to woar a soelle.
Cuatom make the ladleo ellppers
rit so snugly that tbey hurt.
Makes them wear theaa modern trtppert
That are called the bobbH aklrt.
Ko proteata. however tearful;
No re foe ale plain and flat.
Can prevent the headsear fearful
From repoalns on the rat.
Cuatom makee ue so t plarea
When we'd rather atay away.
Cuatom makes oa fla our facie
In the moat mjUamllah way.
For Its aralp though we gn (unntaf
And declare we Win not play.
Custom ts a tyract cunning
And la Uounil to have It way.
Have you a weak throat? If so
you cannot be too careful. You can
not begin treatment too early, taxi
cold makes you mare liable to anoth
er and the last Is always tbs bsrdei
to eure. If you will take Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy st the outae
rou will be saved mucbctrouble. Soil
by all druggists. .