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THE HOCK ISLAND ABGUS. WEDNESDAY, 'MARCH 1, 1911.
Published natty and WwUr at i
fecond aTraue. Rock Island, IU. (Ea
tred At tbe postofflce as eeoond-clasa
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Daily, 10 cants par WMl
Jreekly, f 1 per ya.r In advance.
All oonrannlcaUona of araramentatlT
iharacter, political or rell alone, most
lave real bum attached for pnbUca
Son. No each articles will ba printed
Ter flctltloua signatures.
Correrpondecce solicited from every
township In Rock Island county.
Wednesday, March 1, 1911.
We may be able to run this coun
try without the Gould family.
The preliminary test la over. Now
tor the best of those who are left.
The most extravagant assertions
aometimes come from the most fru
Among the optimists is Mr. Rocke
feller, who is adding another story to
With the plague raging in China
they do not miss the threatened Rus
It was only by a sort of accident
In 1776 that Canada is not a part
of the United States.
A hen that sings has been discov
ered In South Carolina. How's this
Coins to benefit the cold storage
Now the sultan of Sulu says that
one wife Is a plenty. Thus he de
stroys his usefulness as a comic
A New York bulldog turned on the
gas and committed suicide. Even a
dog can't stand the dog's life a New
Put the city's interests first in
your final judgment of who should
govern under the commission form.
Neither politics nor personal prefer
ence should be taken into consider
ation. Rock Island demands and de
serves the best the market afTords
and the market is open.
St. Louis Republic: Boss Cox of
Cincinnati, denounced by Mr. Taft in
1906, but a supporter and Ohio
lieutenant of Mr. Taft in 190S, has
been indicted on a perjury charge
and was so indignant he made re
marks that may subject him to a
contempt of court charge as well.
Between elections and courts of Jus
tice sad havoc is being worked
among the old wheel horses of re
publicanism. It is to he hoped that
i-jcdn-iip .a tummua county uia
be aB thorough as in Adams county. ;
Kuso-Ohinese Imbroglio. j
That Russia and China 6honld I
make war upon each othei at this
time and under existing circum
stances is an atrocious crime.
There is nothing in t lie differences
between the two countries that can- j
uui Bcuivu uy nu apft-ai to an in-
ternational court of arbitration. ;
It is true that the treaty which is
alleged to have been violated is ou- ,
that was entered into by Russia and j
China atone, but it is absurd to say i
that other nations which have a le-j
gitimate Interest in Chinese affairs
and which have pledged themsf Ives .
to the open door policy and the ter
ritorial Integrity of China shall have 1
no consideration and be granted no j
hearing at this time. It is claimed :
by those who are acquainted with !
the facts that the treaty which Is j
being insisted upon by Russ'a with ;
so much strenuousness is obviously!
unfair to China ana was signed Dy
the latter nation under duress. It
. gives Russia certain exclusive privi-
leges 1n Chinese territory which are j
openly in conflict with the open door
policy which Russia along with other j
powers has adopted and approved. J
The treaty between Russia and
China will expire by limitation with
' In a few months.
The ineffable folly of war, under
the circumstances, must be patent to
. the most casual observer. Instead ;
of fighting each other Russia and j
China would be in better business if!
they would form a combination to
fight the plague and tbe filthy con
ditions which produce and which are
'; a disgrace to both nations.
1 The clvilired world stands aghast
rat the prospect of this war. The
X great powers may not be acle to
i avert a conflict, but they have the
Tight under their Internationa!
t agreement to see that no attempt to
alienate Chinese territory shall be
Advertisin for a Mayor.
The city of Magdeburg, Germany,
; recently advertised for a mayor, at
:a salary of $5,250 and a house. That
strikes an American as a very cur
ious proceeding, but it is not at all
.uncommon in Germany. In many, if
not most, of the German cities pol
itics has absolutely nothing to do
-with city government, the mayor
and other officers being chosen solely
with reference to their fitness and
efficiency for their several places.
And why not? A business or xnas-
ufacturing corporation representing
many millions chooses its general
.manager and superintendent for
what the directors think they can do
In the basic ess. They want men to
enforce regulations, look after finan
cial affairs, see to the employment
cf efficient helpers and In general to
that tha'husiaesa the cora&acy
Is ran in the best possible way for
A city is simply a great corpora
tion, with the voters as stockholders,
and their chosen representatives as
directors. But too often in the elec
tion of these officers fitness Is of
little Importance, as compared with
party or personal Influence. There
are mayors in some of our cities that
no wise business corporation would
ever think of putting in charge of
its affairs and they are no more fit
for one place than the other.
In Germany It is not uncommon
for representatives of one city to
look into the way other cities are
managed and if they find a mayor
of exceptional ability and efficiency,
to offer him a larger place at a high
er salary. Evldenly America Is at
least feeling its way in the same di
rection. The tremendous tide to
ward city government by commission
in some states and the adoption 1b
many new charters of several com
mission elements, both show that the
people are thoroughly tired of the
old political pull and spoils system.
While perhaps we have no city ready
yet to "advertise for a mayor," we
do have several which have chosen
their chief executive for his business
qualifications In the office, and are
ready to give him the "recall" if he
does not make good.
After the First Test of Strength.
As far as it pertains to the mayor
alty, the result of the first lineup of
candidates for preference under the
commission form of municipal govern
ment In Rock Island is about what
was expected. It was McCaskrin
against the field, and if he gained dur
ing the last week of the preliminary
campaign the fact was due to condi
tions that arose. Mr. Schriver, who
leads the ticket, was all along regarded
by those familiar with the field of can
didates, by reason of the exigencies
of the situation, the strongest man. He
came upon the scene at the psycholog
ical moment, and the advantage he
gained by so doing Was not lost to him
at any stage of the race. There were
other good men in the field, men that
would have made as creditable execu
tives as have ever come before the peo
pie, men worthy of the ofiice, and who
would have honored it had they been
chosen, and the result cannot be taken
in the light of disparagement of their
candidacies. Where there was such aa
abundance of excellent material from
which to thco.-ie, it may be taken as re
markable that so many did so well.
But the people were considering the
logical man, regardless of all else, and
by his run of yesterday Mr. Schriver
seems to have demonstrated pretty
conclusively that he Is the man uion
which all the elements who are not in
accord with the present administration
may combine, and this notwithstanding
that Mayor McCaskrin by his energy
and determination has made a remark
As to the commissioners, where, too.
there was presented an array of candi
dates capable of appealing to the wants
and inclinations of practically every
i class of citizens, the result of the pri-
mary ha- brosht forth a Hgt cf nomi.
noes from wn,cn the ,e 8nou)d
perience no difficulty in selecting four
ROLLS A OSG STONE
Cause of Movement of a
Monument in Ohio.
Kut Finally Decided TluU Sun's Rays j
Are Responsible for Shifting of j
' p j
In the last few years the attention
of scientists and of the public in gen-
erai nas oeen atiraciea to a remaru-j
Me phenomenon aiscoverea in eonnee- i
tion with the monument to the mem- j
ory of C. B. Merchant, In tbe Marion
CPluetcrT at Marlon, O. Tbe monu-
ment consists of a stone base, rough
In finish, npon which Is mounted a pol
ished granite bell. The ball is thirty
six inches in diameter and weighs
When the ball was placed in posi
tion in the monument builder left
but one spot of it rough. This was
the segment of contact with the stone !
pedestal, or that part of tbe ball which j
rested on tbe snpporttng stone. So 1
thoroughly was the rest of the ball pol
ished that its surface is like a mirror. '
It reflects perfectly the trees and i
shrubbery which surround it
In 1900. fonr years after the mono-1
ment was erected, a visitor to tbe
cemetery discovered that tbe granite
sphere bad shifted its position. In
vestigation groved that tbe rough spot
was no longer in contact with the ped
estal. Repeated efforts on the part e
cemetery employees failed to return
the ball to its former position.
Those who attempted tbe task re
alized that the ball had not been turn
ed by aaraan bends. At first its move
ment was ascribed to tbe motion of
SCIK.VTISTS STTOT PROBLEM.
Men of science frrtn the own ira
Tersities made special trips to Varies
to study the problem. As the story
or the ball was spread scientific msa
from universities farther away wuat
to stody the ban.
When the first professor of physics
looked at the sphere the roogh spot ea
the ball was about one-half way un
toward Its top aa it rested on the ped
estal. He took a photograph of the
ball In that position, the vongm spot
designating that the ball was moving
in the vertical circle.
The next scientist who took a pie- j
rare of the ball showed If In a different ;
position. Tbe ball had-tnraed la part t
In the vertical circle and then had re
volved In the horizontal. This led to
farther controversy until many men of
science met to study the unique problem-
Many theories were advanced as to
the cause of the movement of the kail
Finally many geologist of note and
recognized authority evolved a theory
which la generally accepted as true.
The constant moving- of the bell
that acceded is due to the unequal
expansion of different parts of the
sphere's surface. As a sphere Its sur
face is presented to the four winds of
heaven, and the portion of It to the
rays of the sun would become more
highly heated than the part of the sur
face exposed to the north and its cold
winds. Also the surface of the whole
would he more apt to become more
heated during the day than would the
base upon which it rests, as the Utter
is larger end heavier than the ball It
self. Now, if one part of the ban expands
a minute quantity more than the oth
er with each heating of one side and
contracts la the same ratio on cooling
there would tend to result a slight
creeping movement which In time
would mere the ball sufficiently to let
the change in Its position be noted by
the naked eye. Naturally the expan
sion of one side of the ball would
make that aloe heavier than the chill
ed side, and the heated side would
work its way toward the bottom.
The case is considered one of the
most Temarkable on record and has
furnished science with a new Idea con
cerning the expansion and contraction
of solids. The conclusions of Ameri
can scientists who examined the ball
were submitted to scientists of Eu
rope. AH agree that the action of
heat and cold of the four seasons
censes the ball to change its position a
minute particle every day.
Domestic Life In England In the Time
of Henry VIII.
In that remarkably minute chronicle
of domestic life In England in the
time of Henry VIII., Tusser's "Five
Hundred Points of Good Husbandry,"
the learned and pious author seems
to take it for granted that the only
way of dealing with maidservants Is
to thrash them unmercifully.
He tells us in his inimitable doggerel
that '.'a maid must be forced to be
cleanly" or she is to be "made to cry
crfak." Mistresses are advised "to go
ftlout with a holly wand In their hand,
although they may not always have
occasion to use it, and to pay home
when they fight" that is to say,
thrash "but not to le always chid
ing." As regards the laundry, the
domestic serfs ore "warned to take
heed when they wash or run In the
lash and to wash well, wring well and
bent well, so thnt if any lack beat
ins H will be themselves."
As for tb unhappy Cicely, the dairy
maid, she is to cry "crek" that is to
say. to he thrashed if her cheese is
"hoven" or puffed up. and if the
cheese be tough Cicely is to have "a
crash." If the cheese be spotted
Cicely is to be amended by the bayes.
and if it be too full of whey the
wretched duirymaid is to have "a
dressing." Finally, if any maggots are
found In the cheese, "mistress Is to be
Cicely by and by."
An Artist's Joke.
nolnian Hunt, who begun life as a
clerk to an auctioneer and estate
agent, was constantly drawing por
traits when be should have lnen draw
ing up leases, and in his chosen pro
fession he was nevexslow to seize the
flying moment. Tu windows in bis
room were made of ground glass, and
oa ho limt Hftla In tin hr cnplit much
of his time in drawing flies upon ita
roughened surface. A blot of ink suf-
iieed for the body and some delicato
pencil Ktrokes for the wings, and at a
distance the deception was perfect.
1,7 aay tne number increased, and
one morning his employer came in.
stopped before the window and ex
claimed: "I can't make out how It is.
Every day that I come into this room
there seem to be more and more flies."
AmJ ukjng out nls handkerchief, he
attempted to brush them away.
A Bad Boy.
Bertie I don't want to go to bed yet, c-d on the farm, just as your father
sis. I want to see you and Mr. Shep- said I would."
berd play cards. Lucie You wicked 1 His wife's eyes flashed strangely,
boy, to think we should do such a j "Ton don't understand father, dear,
thing! We never do it: Bertie But I (He has already admitted he was mis
heard mamma tell you to mind how ' taken in bis estimate of yon. for you
you played your cards when Mr. Sbep-
Will find ns prepared
to serve you proper
ly. We anticipate a
great year in the
jewelry business and
will show all the
novelties in advance
of the season.
Opeosfte Harper b'onse.
x ft -TM it n x
: "As one whom his mother comforteth.' Isaiah lxvi. 13
Young fellow. I want to hold speech with you
But never e. word of the things you do,
And never a word of the ways you walK.
Nor the hours you Keep, nor the wey you taJK.
For I Know that a man tm called undergrown
If his wild, wild oats are as yet unsown. v
But I wondered If somewhere away from here
Somebody, a woman perhaps it's queers
I wonder tf she doesnt bend and sigh
O'er a picture of you m the days gone by.
O, certainly not I I've no mind to preach
.Arid no creed -to give and no rules to teach.
I was thmKintf, that's all. as I watched your face.
And I thought that somehow I could faintly trace
The path where the dimples played hide and seeK
When you were a toddler there, in your cheeh.
And I wondered, that's all. as a man will do.
Who cherished the picture she had of you.
Youll pardon me, surely? It's not for me
To hinder your pleasures. A man is free
To come and go as he liKes5 and, yes,
To act as he pleases. That's right. I guess.
It's simply a fancy, because you are
A stranger to mei and I wouldn't mar
A moment of yours. But. whose fingers hold
The picture they tooK wher, your curls were gold?
When you were a toddler 1 Your picture, then,
Before you set foot on the path of men.
I simply was wondering who would well.
Who treasures your picture, and loves to tell
The tales of your wonderful boyhood years ?
And maybe she Kisses it, while her tears
Come clouding the sunlight that's in her smiles
At thinKing of all the baby wiles !
And the measuring marK that she made on the wall
But then it is not my concern, at alL
The Argus Daily Short Story
The Voice of Mary Etta By CJirrissa Mackie.
' Copyrighted, 19X0, Vy Associated Literary Vr:f&
"Never mind. Ben." encouraged Mary
Etta as her husband shrurrged Into his
overcoat and picked up his bat. "ev
erything will come out all right in the
end. All the other farmers In the
county have met with the same fail
ure that we have, only you've got the
best of most of them. You've got your
trade to fall bac-k on."
The sullen expression deepened on
Ben Madison's handsome face. "It
isn't so easy going back to work under
a foreman after being my own boss
for five years." he said bitterly.
Mary Etta winced. "I know it, dear.
Hut suppose you didn't have a trade
and cot:ldn't make up this winter for
your losses of last summer. Mr. Fray
has promised you steady work at S2.CO
that's $15 a week. Why. it will pay
the interest and taxes for a year, be
sides paying all our living expenses
and giving you a splendid start for
the eprijg. You might be able to buy
"I know all the advantages," said
Ben impatiently. "But you don't un
derstand how I feel about it, Mary
Etta! It's sort of admitting I've fail-
have done splendidly no one can deny
that and who could prevent the long
J drought we have suffered? I know he'd
think it was splendid of you to pitch
in and make tbe farm pay by doing
everything you could this winter."
Ben turned away, a discouraged
droop to his shoulders. Of course Mary
Etta didn't know that he had gone to
her father the night before and asked
him for a loan of S00O to tide tbem
over the winter and spring in fact,
nntn his crops would begin to pay
along in May and June, for bis mar
ket garden and forcing house had
proved a very payiag branch of the
H reddened resentfully as he re-
I membered bow old Peter Lloyd's
white eyebrows had lifted incredulous- J
ly when his son-in-law asked for the
loaa. "No, Ben." Peter had said slow
ly; Tm not saying I ain't got the
money, for I have, but I guess I'll
keep it awhile longer. If Mary Etta
was a widow, cow. and needed my help
it would be different You're a strong
man, and you've done well so far. It
would only weaken you to borrow this
money of me. Find a way out your- i
self. TouH be the better off for it In
the end. and I wish you good luck. If
you was sick or there was an accident
of some kind I'd be tbe first cne on
band to help you out As It is, you
and Mary Etta have started out for
yourselves, and you're both capable of
fighting it out to the end same as the
rest of us have to do."
Ben Madison thought of this con
versation with increasing anger as he
trudged down the frosty road that led
j to Fray's planing milL The only al
i tentative left to him bad been to seek
tar W O. Chp
a Job at Fray's, w here its owner naa
told him there were sufficient orders
ahead to ke;p a ?ood workman like
Hen busy ail winter making sashes and
blinds for the 8rin?: building trade.
Now he was ?oing down to tell Fray
he would take the job. There were
others waiting for the opportunity, but
Fray had promied 15eu the first
Vv'hen he reach-l the road that turn
ed down to th'i mill he bvitated and
then walked slowly on, head down,
moodily thJnkiir:. At last he tame to
the railroad station, where a few
loungers awaited tbe passing of the
nooa train. l?en looi:f-d down the shin-
j iug length of track that led to the city
I beyond. There might be opportunities
for other work than that he had left
behind when he raurried Mary Etta
five years ago. He had hated the
t.er.eh work, the long hours and the
carrying of the dinner pail. Tbey
chafed his Madison pride. Ben was
the last of his family, and all the pride
of the Madi;or.s seem-l concentrated
in this young man with the strong.
i broad shoulders and the bitterly droop
ing month, who imagined he had made
a failure of life.
As the whistle of the approaching
train shrieked from some distant cross
ing Ben Madison scorned to make up
his mind to soma course of action. He
glanced quickly at tbe loungers con
gregated about the station stove and
stepped out of the station house and
walked up the track to the raised plat
form where there was a little heap of
baggage. He pnllod his bat down over
hi eyes and muttered under his
breath: "I Just can't go back to the
bench again. Ill get something to do
In the city and send for Mary Etta to
come. I can write to her when I get
there and tell her bow it is. She'll nn
deirt.md." When he wr.s In the train he tried to
persoade himself that Mary Etta
would understand Jnst Uovr be felt
and look on his decision In exactly the
same manner that he did. Mary Etta
had pride too. Fie bad taken her from
a ccmfortsble home, where as the only ;
daughter of a well to do farmer she had
had little hard work and many luxu
ries. AH of these things she hud glad
ly given up to marry the man she
! loved, and Ben pridfd himself n the
! V.t V Iho rr.rV r.0 til, V m
Mary Etta had not bad to do as rcucn
drudgery as many cf bis neighbors'
wives. She bad help in her house-
cleaning, and whenever there was er-
tra work to be done she had a woman
to do her washing and ironing and
scrubbing. And yet Mary Etta look
ed very tired this falL Indeed, there
was a faded look tbout her usually
blooming face that Ben did not un
derstand and secretly worried about
And' yt bis anxiety was not so great
as his pride. ITe could support bis
wife, but he would do it in his own
way. Tbey would Itoard all winter in
the city where be couid get Cne wages,
and in the spring they would return to
Once In the city streets he did not
know which way to turn to look for
work. By the time he had bought a
morning newspaper and hunted its col
nmns in vain for advertisements re
quiring the especial services bo had
to offer he was ravenously hungry.
When he had appeased his healthy ap
petite he was troubled at the inroads
made upon his little store of money,
and this money bad been a sum that
Mary Etta had produced from some
secret hiding place, for their money In
the savings bank had been drawn upon
to meet necessary expenses.
Mary Etta was a wonderful man
ager he thought as he left the eating
place and walked aimlessly down the
street- She had planned and contrived
all through the autumn months while
the dread of going back to the bench
still hung like a dark cloud over him.
lie paused in front of a gaudily
painted doorway and read the posters
of a moving picture show. In a few
moments he had yielded to the temp
tation to enter and found himself seat
ed well down in front in tbe long, nar
row theater. At tbe moment there
were being produced the pictures of a
thrilling rescue from flames ss a tall
tenement bouse burned.
Ben watched breathlessly and cheer
ed as heartily as the rest when the
last picture faded away. lie did not
look at the card announcing the next
production. Tbe theater was warm,
and he was removing his overcoat
When he looked np he heard the
faintly familiar sounds of an organ re
produced from a large phonograph on
the stage, and there flashed into view
on the curtain a scene that took his
breath away and left him sitting In
stunned silence while it lasted.
Before him was the interior of the
village church at home, rows and rows
of familiar heads, while np in the pnl
pit the thin, angular form of the new
minister sat stiffly on the red velvet
sofa, while. tbe choir grouped on bis
left were singing.
He saw his own grave face beside
young Harry Fray, the tenor. He saw
Mrs. Phillips, the pastor's wife, and
Mary Etta. Mary Etta, looking very
sweet and girlish, was singing, and
the others should have been Joining in
the refrain, for their mouths were
opened. But it was only Mary Etta
who sang, her sweet, high voice rising
like that of an angel to the very roof
of the church even now as it was re
produced from the phonograph and
floated above the heads of the mixed
audience, who hung breathlessly npon
every word she 6a ng. Now and then
there was a strangled sob as the mean
ing of the song was borne to the
hearts of tbe bearers and touched
some tender chord.
Ben listened, seeming to hear the
broken trill of a robin from the church
yard outside, as had happened the last
time Mary Etta had sung that old
Scotch hymn "My Ain Countrie:"
I am far fra.e my hanie, an' I'm weary
For the lunged for ham bringing an" my
Falther's welcome smiles.
An' I'll ne'ar ba fu' content until mine aan
The Kowden gatea o' heav'n an' ray ain
When the last note had died away
amid a silence that was more eloquent
than the noisiest applause Bon fourrd
bis way to tbe management of tbe the
ater and was sent to the people from
whom the picture films had been pur
chased. There, after many explana
tions and some delay, he was informed
that the pastor had granted permission
for the picture to be taken from tbe
back gallery the spring before and that
Mary Etta had been approached and
asked to sing the song into a phono
graph. This she had at first refused
to do, and Mien, tempted by the money
joffered, she had consented and had
made several trips to the city to sing
many other well known songs to be
reproduced for the entertainment of
Thnt explained to Ben Madison how
it was that in spite of the scant re
turns from tbe farm that summer there
bad always been plenty on bis table,
while his store bills had been prompt
ly met. The shadow in Mary Etta's
face was probably the reflection of her
troubled conscience, for her gentle
heart must have suffered at deceiving
her prend young husband.
Thrilled with self contempt, Ben
Madison hurried home on tbe last train
that night a"id awoke tbe astonished
Mr. Ft? from his early sleep. Then
he went on to his home, where Mary
Etta was waiting anxiously for bis re
turn. "Hurray!" cried Ben Joyously. "I
got the Job all right. Mary Etta. I'm
going to work tomorrow morning. Yon
got something for my lunch?"
"Lots." said Mary Etta, smiting
through her tears. "Do you mind go
ing back to the bench. dearT'she asked.
Then it was that Ben told her of his
day's experience. "Gee. Mary Etta,"
be said in wonder as he conclnded. "I
don't see how you stood my foolish
pride as long as you did: Hut you're
the stuff. My pride's chansr-ni to an
other kind, and I'll work my flncers off
one way or another till we pull out."
"Why, I loved you, Ben." said Mary
contentedly. "That's why it was easy
"Yon'll se how much I love yon,
then," threatened her husband happily.
March 1 in American
1781 Articles of American conreaera
rion went into operation. From the
date of the assembling of tbe Hec
ond Continental congress. May 10,
1775. to March 1, 17'1, the Ameri
can government was revolution
ary, congressional powers being
1704 William Jc-Dkins Worth, general
in Mexican war. born; died l&lfi.
1910 Rnowslldra in the mountains of
Washington cause the loss of over
A Bit and s Pack,
nis Wife This paper tells of a wo
man who suffered two weeks from the
effects fit a moTJi- r.:e. Her Hub
band That's nothing. I know a inan
hn haa nfTr,l tar vears from the
effects of a henpeck. Chicago News.
Mr nVACAf K. SMITH
rpnE office boy win can't run toe
boss' Job is as scarce ss the dealer
who isn't Just cloving out tbe last
choice articles on the market.
Just because a man appears useless
don't write, him down as a has-been.
He may be a never was.
Truth is sometimes stranger than
fiction and brings nearly as much
We may surprise our friend by our
successes, never by our fullures.
Given a choice between alternatives,
if the chooser is a woman she will run
in a third.
The wise mother doesn't nsk her son
who be took to tbe dance, she knows
that little brother will keep the family
Don't let your husband find you in a
wrapper when he comes home in the
evening. He prefers to do the negligee
dressing for the family.
A man always thinks you are lyln1;
If you have a more wonderful experi
ence than bis own.
Death loves a shining mark, but the
promoter prefers an easy one.
A widow is never so inconsolable as
when her mourning is becoming.
Whan on a trollay rlda you note
A railroad train la near.
Tha car conductor soa ahaad
To sea that all la cl'iir,
For If ba didn't aoira tint day
A heavy through zpreoa
Might In the twilight run amuck
And make an awful meaa.
Tou bat It lin't any fun
To have a railroad train
Run down a load of paenrrs
And ralsa a-rna branda of Cain.
It doMm't make a pretty sight.
And those whom clottwis are rent
Ho not appreciate the Jar
That didn't coat a cent.
Tou've no Idea, I am sure.
If you have not been there
"What an onnoyltif and h'jw hard
A thing it Is to boar.
The vaneencer cannot be blamed
If he la acre and vexed
And lvlahea he had mlaaed that car
And waited fur the next.
And that is why they eo ahead
And rubber at the track.
They want to keep their precloua load
Intact to bring It bark.
And It'a a good Idea too.
'Tta better, you may cueaa.
To loso a minute than to try
To stop tha through expreus.
"What a run of luck Jone has had
"How is that?"
"His wife's yowling poodle was run
over by I he street cur rc ently."
"That was great."
"And bis bo has gone to Califor
nia for tbe rest of the winter."
"And a sneak thief broke in his
house and stole all the clears his wife
gave him at Christmas time, together
with bis smoking Jacket."
tho matter with Jim
"I notice that they
cronies ni Ihy were."
"No; they enn't agree as to which
particular candidate for the white
man's hope Is tbe comer."
"There Is Komethii) critlre a boot
"How is that?"
'Don't they make foU out of ruenT
PpHtiish, do yii
"Then how can
you build ca'-tles
"Living expense are h'sli."
"Yes, but there U a chance ti eaten
"Liplanes are improving every day."
Must Have 8ome Doubta.
"Ir'he doesn't knot" iuiythiug rbout
her husband's biihln-f-s."
"No, and the rjueerert thing about it
Is she is glad of It."
"Whfct are you doing fr a livlng?
"Can't yoi find an easier Job than
Conscience K'akei Coward.
Man Wknts a J.ltl hre tlo
And wh;iC4 It on :.e Jurr p.
F'r. don't B-f. f.e'a fr'r,a he
Will nud lT.ljr u .ump
Medi'.ines that aid nature urc al
ways DK.ut successful. Chamber
lain's Cough ltt-medy acts on this
plan. It loosens the cough, relieves
the lun.s. opens the secretions and
aids nature in restoring the rystcm
to a healthy condition. Sold t.r ail