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- THE ROCK ISITAXD ARGUS, FRIDxYY, MARCII 10. mil.
I PabHahed TJaDy and We-Uy at iJ
tcred at the postofflce e sooia-cla
BY TkE J. W. POTTER CO.
! TERMS. Daily, io cents per
Weekly. J 1 per year In adraaoe.
A. 11 oomrnnnlotUojii of arsroeaantatlve
character, political or rallsrioaa. mast
' iave real same attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
Ter fictitious st gnat area
Correspondence solicited from
township In Rock Island county.
Friday, March 10, 1911.
parting was eIow
The Outlook's traveling
b again on the road.
Let it be hoped that Private Secre
tary Hllles will not feel himself un
Unly handicapped at the start by be
ing called the assistant president.
Rockford Star: If Joe Cannon- will
read the resolutions passed at the in
lignation meeting between the lines,
fee will find he was also asked to re
sign. Missouri Is almost as proud ofAhe
fact tbat it Is the champion corn
sob pipe producer as that Champ
Clark acknowledges his residence to
Representative Cannon should re
train from spending all this month
concocting brain twisters for the ben
efit of Champ Clark In the approach
ing special session of congress.
A former American show girl at an
Ei-g!ish rink skated into the affections
of a lord and is soon to become Lady
Cholmondeley. This is by no means
the first instance In which skates have
been responsible for the American
8tafre invasion of the British aristoe
President Taft's letter in connection
with the BaJiinger resignation is the least until another national cam
most vlfrioiic contribution of his pen. la-gn. But though revenue meas
It was not thought that the president ; res must originate in the house, the
conld be so savage, but in this coin-' enate finance committee busied it
murueation he certainly burns up the Plf with getting up a bill of its own
paper in describing his opinion of T ,lJcn was substituted for that of the
thosf who have been persistently at- "ee under the power to "amend"
tacking the retiring secretary. Of the6nd used defeat the hopes for a
president's confidence in Ballineer ('"ulne revision. It was the product
tr.re 18 certainly no room to doubr.
Whether Justified or not. there is no
char.ce to dispute that Taft siands up
for his friends.
Qnlncy Herald: Illinois people -UT'le8' Tnat tariff has been the
have been prone to make light ofWal- 1 ""f f diasatlafact ion and
ter Fisher as a sort of a silk stocking :;"itJy renewed agitation for
Political reformer who wanted to have :,-3a- refrm iUatead f 8ettlDS U at
l is ballot laundered and Derfumd ho.T ,' . . .
of In V.," - Z , g demands by passing
of so tiht-ar a tbinir as fh rt.vinrt.iont . ..... "
.t t. . i ciproc'.tv hill by
LlU '"f!10'11,0' Prising. majorlty ln the
Of n Brr,ol. . I
" ku dukib iepsi:i
..v naiwi win ira
the button thrs Umts for rose water
and a manicure.
A Oiitago Cal'fnet.
Chicago bs virtna'.ly supplied three
Places in the Taff cabinet and the In
cumoonts may all be closed as polit
ical independents. Secretary Dickin
son is credited ta Tennessee, but wee
C!i!ra(!.o corporation attorn.-y wL-u
tiv-n the war lortfolio. He wa; an
lndeiH.-inl-nt tii mocrat. So wu Franlr
lln MacVeai?h. who at one time j-iju
rd the time fcr th de'no"ratic m
dofs.7i;fut for Tnlted States senator
w iut -:hhcr,
the n--y secretary , -r
i I 1M. ! m rTr n ,1ran K... . i .
a repuuMcan. but i
vanciui the work of the municipal
and legislative voters' leagues he has
ieci3rfcd for candidates regardie? of
PtttrkJJjr Uo Teachers.
LJko the rnaa who used to give
out the " t:cb words" at the coun
try m ho and bother the liv s out
cf teachers aud scholars ty IA cun
ningly coatrWed rnatheniatl al pujj.
zle and paradoxes, there is always
s- iaetxxjy stands teacl ers con-
xen.lons and other educational meet-j
lns with a similar object la view, j
H? nay Ue dfjwnded upon to imo ur
t lu? sy:-bo!ojc!cal moment and "f re
off' a volley vt questions about a lit
cf things etiolate or that have been
for.ui;fn by those who onc knew
thetn. Then this malevolent trouble
mccger triumphantly exclaims,
"Wl a, fools these mortals be; how
ea7 Jr is to pt-t them to the bad.'' A
ir.an tt this kind sprung a little tit
tchi.sia tpon a Kansas teachers' fts
soc'etlon v. Mch was a surrrise even
m the teachers themse'ves when they
focrd cct they could not answer
lht-se seemingly barmlej-s qu-jtions:
Xane any state with an inheri-j
lance tax lrtw, !
rs'anie ary provielons cf the ua- i
lirnai m.ome lax. 1
w nat is s com mission rorm cf city
Name one tr more cities
uch a iicvercmsnt.
War: Js s tedder?
What Is the Balwwk test?
lisve ycu read "A Certain Rich
" Man V
Why the great demand of rall
Toads from the lakes to the gulf?"
" - - Vi k U V IICO r 11 w A - T r
6houl J the MlssiMlr?! river chan-1
Xel be deepened? Why? !
Name three college or rr.ivers'ty
presidents In your state. '
And yet the questions Irok easy, j
Tfce point abont them Is that seme-;
xt them sre questions about whlr'n
-Y the average rerton does not concern
"ilEself -until It becomes - necessary j
jia the course of Ms business; others
re more or less technical or rather
e,ated t0 80,ne Particular branch of
luBiness. and others are political
imoot questions about -which there
may be a wide divergence of opin
The fact is the acquisition of mere
facts is not the object of education.
The object Is to fit people to seize
upon and adapt to their own use the
knowledge that comes from daily ex
perience. It is no particular use in
his business for a plumber to know
bat a "tedaer" is, but & farmer who
doesn't know is an ignoramus. As
to the deepening of the Mississippi
river, that is the very question at
which the politicians and the engin
eers are now at loggerheads, and is
a mere matter of opinion. Still,
these are good things to know.
Congress, Past and Present
Whatever the 62d congress does
j redeem the bad record of Its pre-
decessor it should give the country
t ich tariff legislation and in such
pood time that it will bring peace
tnd confidence to business. It has
t chance to take prompt and effective
f. -uon to relieve any feeling of dis-t-ust
arising out of the failure of
I ie late congress to take up the mat-
t r ,in its closing days. What good
l ie 61st congress did it will be diffi
uit to recall, but it will be conspic
uous for the fact that at a time when
the cost of living was high and
l ure was a demand for public econ
omy it failed to remove or lower the
in upon the necessaries of life or
etrench the expenses of government
ticl refused to sanction the Canad
jin agreement for freer and more
iendly trade with a neighboring
itintry. The blame for these sins
f commission and omission rest up
- n the senate principally, for the
louse at different times made feeble
Torts to fulfill the party obligation
f the majority for a downward re
ision of the tariff. In the extraor
inary session of 1909 a somewhat
eebe effort was made by the house
o fulfill the party promise of the
najorlty for a genuine downward re
piyi cf the tariff. The bill prepar
i iy the ways and means commit
h and passed after weeks of discus
ion in the lower chamber was far
-'.! satisfactory, but It was about
a that was to be expected of the
1 -i t;, of high protection at that ! who were astonished by the annonnce
iuie. and would probably have been! ment that well known New. York
ecepted as disposing of the subject ;
I log-rolling between representa
ives cf th9 "interests" that profit by
he tariff at the expense of the mass
1 the consumers of the country and
the iniurv of its trade with other
the Canadian re-
senate the ineas-
U ' ""I ecu rc UIUUKUL W
wa6 made the subject of
every point. The resolution provid
ing for the election of United States
senators by popular vote was also
killed iru the upper house.
As the crowning infamy of its ca
reer it seated William Lcrimer in
the tare of overwhelming evidence
that hi seat was obtained for hiui
by most corrupt practices. The sen
ate of the 61st congress Is a discred
I'ed body. It la believed that its suc
cessor, though of a siirilar eomplex
Ijd, has been purged of some of the
Vronpest influences which have made
rr vicious legislation in the past and
I':-. at it may be porsible to secure to-
Deratinn bctveen the two bouses
1 ' ' ' -' - ' ' J 1 . n i..r r o ii rai ui
. . .1
forth snmeth'ng wortl
ijei us nve in cope. ,
KNEW TOO MUCH.
Tennyson's FMhtf Had to Fly Fsr His
Life From Russia.
Shortly after the assassination of
Emperor Taul of Rui-sla. Tennyson,
the father of the p 't, dined with
Ird Pf. Oeleirs, the British ambassa
dor, ln Moscow. Several llusian offi
cers of hi?h rank whose names he did
not know were also guests. During
dinner a guarded reference was mads
to the enactor's death. "
"Why do you upealt so gingerly
about a matter so notorious?" cried
Tennyson impulsively, leaning scross
bis neighbor, a R nest in whose breast
was covered with orders. "We know
very well In England that the Emper
or Pe-i was murdered. Count Zoboff
Rocked him down and Benningsen
and Count Pnbleu Btrscgied him."
There was a strained silence; then
the arubaKusdoT abruptly changed the
subject. As the guests filed out Into
an adjoining room Iord St. Helens
drew Tennyson aside. "Don't go Into
the next room," he whispered, "but Cy
for your life. The man next yon,
s?rA9 wEoae breast you leaned, was
cennt Pthlen. and Zoboff was also st
He gave a few hurried directions,
and Tennyson rus'oed off. threw his
clothes into s portmanteau snd Ced
behind fast horses to Odessa, still In
evening garb, though the cold wss ln
tenss. He lay hidden for weeks snd
st last, in the disguise of a servant,
was smuggled on board an English
A STAMP HOAX.
The Story That Went With th Ele
phant's Beak Issue.
Stamp collecting Is s peculiar but a
fascinating hobby, snd It Is said that
as many as 9.C0C.000 ln all the world
own 1: a bobby, Gerxaacj. France,
Senator Bailey of
The resignation of Senator Joseph W. Bafiey of . Texas from the upper house of congress is said to be a cer
tainty despite his recent withdrawal. Texans expect the action after the state legislature's adjournment. If true
this will close a long career of national lawmaking. Not many years after his removal to Texas from his native state
of Mississippi in 1885 be was elected as congressman and served five terms. In 1901 he was elected to the senate to
fill the unexpired term of Horace Chilton and was re-elected in 1907. His term would have expird in 191S.
Austria. England and France rank In
the order named In the number of
stamp collectors they contain.
"The elephant's beak hoax" Is one of
the best jokes ever played at the ex
pense of collectors. It was worked on
a half dozen well known philatelists
stamp collector had secured the only
copy of a peculiar stamp later known
as "the elephant stamp bill." This
stamp bore as Its central design the
figure of an elephant with the beak
and wings of a bird. This stamp, so
the story went, was designed by a well
known South American revolutionist
who was about to overthrow the exist
ing regime. The design- on the stamp
was meant to designate that the new
ruler had the strength of an elephant
and the swiftness of a bird. But
alas for the plans of mice and men!
His plot was discovered, and among
the supplies seized were half a million
of the stamps of the new and yet un
born republic. These were ordered de
stroyed. One of the soldiers had man
aged to smuggle about a hundred of
these away, but he was finally caught
md shot at daybreak. Before his exe
cution, however, he had given one
stamp to a little boy, and this had ln
some very reasonable and plausible
way found the New York collector
after many months.
The stamp was naturally of great
price and would have brought a big
sum had not sereral collectors com
pared notes and found that each had
ln his possession on approval the only
elephant bill stamp in existence, ln
this way the Interesting hoax was dis
covered. -New York Mail.
A Get Beautiful Quick Scheme.
"If you have a hurry call to be besn
tlfnl without the time to work up to
the permanent affair, said Mildred
Holland, "here's your chance. First
wash your face with warm water and
almoud meal. Make a sort of paste cf
those things and wash off witb warm
water and dry lightly. 4 Then apply
. . . . . . . .
I h ! ' - - - -' - - j - - -
Lui.. - . . . . . . . '
iimr ,hi i i i uii i ihet i npro rf r 1 1 1 . rMiii'-
! non irom me arasuc trearmeni to 101- ;
! rub It over the face till the skla
. .1... 1
smarts. Rinse again, this time with
I water that is gradually brought down
j from cool to cold. You are then ready j
j for the Unci ceremony. Ilold a good I
1 sized piece of Ice ln a towel and iron
; your face with It. Then look in the j
plf ss This has been found an abpo-
lutely relinWe recipe before asking for '
the coveted new bonnet." New York :
.. . i
Gold filled cases
warranted 10 years
fitted with 7 jeweled
. v $6.45
Saturday only at
F 0 !
0 e-i!sw R
Texas Who May Leave Capital
Has Served Many Years In Congress.
The Argus Daily Short Story
In the Swim By Lydia B. Gaskell.
Copyrighted, 1911, by Associated Liter-iry Presn.
Johnny Beem, a farmer's boy, nine
teen years old, stood six feet in bis
stockings; his limbs were long, well
shaped and put together ln graceful
curve; a Byronic head was set on a
well turned neck, which ln turn rested
between a puir of broad shoulders.
Johnny was beloved by evenf girl with
in fifty miles of his father's farm, but
as he loved every girl he was ln no
danger from any one of them.
Johnny was fairly Intelligent, too,
and read all the books that he could
get his hands on. But the chief charm
about him even greater than bis man
ly beauty was his J agenuousness. He
knew nothing about the artificial de
vices to make himself liked. He would
bot intentionally hurt a fly, but if ha
flfd so accidentally would not know
enough about manners to beg the fly's
The farm, its products, live stock,
everything pertaining to country life
was Johnny's delight. As for a horse,
he not only loved the animal, but knew
all about him. One day Johnny went
to the races. In order to see the track
he climbed up on a coach occupied by
some swells. Hia remarks about the
different nmners interested these per
pons Immensely. And what Interested
thera more was tbat he Invariably
picked the winner. One of the men on
jtbe coach asked him a lot of questions
j and when the races were over took his
One day this gentlemen, a Mr. Swin
bourne. drove up to the farm gate and.
ealiiusr for Johnnv. toid him there
were to be more races and he wished '
Johnny to go to them with him. On j
the way Swinbourne told Johnny he
wished him to nam? the winning i
t. .... .. . .
J - - " - '-"' - - - i
, .... . , . . i !
Tinr' rnnr iia Nunnn i rn. wnu i I
vez as jonnny tola mm to net ana ue
made S10.000 and in the course of a
year, by Johnny's advice, made a for
tune. He paid his jidviser his sbcre of
the profits and then asked him If there
was anything else he could do for him.
"I would like." stid Johnny, "to be
Introduced r.mong the swells."
Swinbourjie looked at the handsome
youngster for a moment, then said:
"Johnny, I'll do It. Hut you'll need a
wardrobe and must let me do a lot of
Johnny agreed, and Swinbourne told
him to report at his club in the city on
a certain date.
Now, If there was one among all the
girls whom Johnny loved better than
1 the othere it was Hepsl Jones. This
was proved by the fact that she wss
the only one of the lot whom he told
I he was going to the oity to be intro
; duced Into society. Hepsl put out her
i band to him and said:
"Goodby, Johnny; I never expect to
see yon ln the country again. You'll
marry some city girl. Indeed, I would
I not advise you to come back after be
j corning used to city ways. Onr ways
here will be distasteful to you. You'll
! neither feel at home witb us nor will
we feel at home with you."
"If I thought that, Ilepsl, I wouldn't
go. Indeed, I'm minded to stay on the
"Do nothing of the kind.
mingle with these people, and If you
like them better than farmers'
stay among them; if not, come back to
Johnny decided to take this advice
and went to the city. He met Swin
bourns at the club, and Swinbourne
told elm that since all social festivi
ties went by seasons smong society
people snd It was then springtime he
i must provide himself with golf suits,
xenon suits ana garments appropriate
for horseback ridissr. Then, after con
siderable shopping end Johnny had
been outnted. Mr. Swinbourne gave a
dinner for bim at the Country club.
Johnny was so handsome ln farm
dress that be retained a good deal of
comeliness In the conventional evening
costume of a city man. Indeed, all the
women present considered him an
Adonis. Their own costumes were
more becoming to them, though he
said they all seemed to be Incased in
straltjackets. Before sitting down to
dinner cocktails were handed round.
Johnny was surprised to see every
woman present drink a cocktail. When
the waiter offered him one be (hanked
him and said he preferred a glnss of
milk. Fortunately Swinbourne was
the only person who heard him. He
took tho cocktail from the tray and
prt it In Johnny's band.
.Tolinny was much confused at the
multiplication of plates put In front of
' Dlra' an4' iU for forks and knives, he
' had never ueed so many at horns In
! half n dozen meals. B.it he kept an
' eye on his neighbors and by lniitatinj?
i t iem Kot on veiT wru- " lnos au1
' liquors were distasteful to him. and hu
drank only what he felt obliged to
I enna; consequently nr rne eni or in
dinner he was thoroughly conaiinus of
the condition of the party. On the
whole, ho was not especially well
pleased at his Initiation among the
But the next day brouc-ht things
more to his taste. Swinbourne took
him to a polo match, and when one of
the players was difahlod Johnny said
he would like to take his place. Swin
bourne succeeded in getting Johnny
taken into the game, and, though the
country boy had never played P"io. he
was so used to managing a horse thut
he won the pame for his side, largely
his own efforts. This gave him
. i -
L.-..I..1 1 .... .1 T I .....
i i .ii t ci ..
diuiwuiu.- ihph u i i ...n.iu.v uuw
"Yoii uitut be very deforenMal." he
j said, "to nil of them, for it is the mar
j lied womiin who controls society.
! Never miss an opportunity to pass a
.' compliment either upon a woman's
I beauty, her wit or some other real or
fancied attriction. Arid do not fear to
! be considered a flatterer. The oldest,
i the fattest, the leatiest of these society
leaders rre the most susceptible to
; compliments, for they are In dread of
' losing their grip on the worid through
the loss of their good looks, and !-
light in finding some one to iHI them
j that they are not.
! "You m;.y al..o make a little thin love
, to them, nothing prouotiuced, nothing
. spoken, except as I have explained, by
way of compliment, remembering that
it is a compliment to lore a woman as
well as to praise her beauty. They
! will understand that this lovetuaklng
is but a pretense and will take it for
what it Is Intended a compliment.
' And don't worry for fear their bus
' bands will overhear you. They un
; derPtand it all :is well u their wives
: and are obM-cd to act in the same way
I to other men's wives."
"And am I to observe the same rules
j among the girls?" as-Wed the novice,
t "By no means. We are fast drifting
! into European methods in tLat r
! snect. It is not considered honorable""
t" mike love, either real or assumed.
to a gin. lr your roriime anmits
marrying her you are expeta to a.-k
permission or her parents to pay yo;.r
addresses. 1'ist none of our really
prominent w-ieiy giris whl marry
witliout gettirig an establishment with
"And after they ere married'''
"They mar receive all the attention
they lihe. Since these marriages are
for convenience the money part cf lr. ,
yoo know the affections hjve nothing .
to do with them that l. usually; ,
therefore when the girl is marrird It
is considered i'iif proper fjr her to :
Lave wh&t we in fwit-ty call a cava- '
lier. She and her attendant may real -
ly love one another, but we expect
j them to conduct themselves with rigid
j propriety. At least there must be no
Through Mr. Swinbonrne's Influence
Johiny was invited to a dinner fol
lowed by a cotillion. The dinner passed
off ln the usual way. and then all pro
ceeded to the ballroom. By this time
Johnny knew a number of women,
both married and single, with many of
whom his Ingenuous nature, together
with his natural Intelligence and man
It beautr. had made him a favorite.
It was explained to him that when a
lady gaTe him a "favor" it meant an
invitation to dance with her. Johnny
expected to be "favored" by any or all
of these ladies who had expressed an
Interest ln him. What was his sur
prise and disappointment to be left en
tirely out ln the cold. Unattractive
men were dancing about him while he
stood up against the wall. One snag
gle toothed, blear eyed, baldheaded
dwarf about four feet high was so
covered with trophies that be looked
like an admiral of many wars. John
ny asked who he was and was told
that he was the Earl of Bontoddy.
who had come to America ln search
of a multimillionaire wife.
The next day Swinbourne explained
to Johnny that the reason he had not
been "favored" was that the favors
were used to pay off social obligations
or else as a means to social climbing.
"I'm very much obliged to you, Mr.
Swinbourne, for putting me In the
swim," replied Johnny, "but I've had
enough of it. I'm going back to the
One bright morning Etepel Jones
stood on the porch sniffing the country
air and watching the sunlight sparkle
on the dew when, looking down the
road, 6he saw a familiar figure coming.
It was Johnny Beem dressed ln his
farm clothes. When he saw her hs
wared his hat ln the air and shouted
"Why, Johnny, what has happened!
Wouldn't they have you ln society V
"I wouldn't have them."
He went up on the porch. She gavs
him her hand, and he pressed it fer
vently." "Tell me about It," she said as they
sat down on the side benches.
"Well, it's this way. A man can't
make love to a glrL but he can to a
"Yon don't mean It!"
"And the women drink cocktails and
smoke cigarettes the same as the
"And whatever they do to favor one
another Is for social climbing."
"To get into a bigger swimming
hole. None of the girls wlil marry an
American unless he gives her an es
tablishment That means houses to
live ln, automobiles and thousands in
the bank. But when a British lord
comes over to get a wife to set him up
with her money they swarm about him
"Even the girls that hadn't the mil
lions?" "Yes. .. It's a big thing to dance with
an earl if he looks like a monkey."
"And you hadn't the establishment?"
"No, and I didn't want It nor the
girl's either. I wanted to come back
Into the country that God made. And
do yon know, Ilepsl, I've been think
ing ever since I went to the city that
there's one country girl I want, and I
want her awful muli."
"Who's that, Johnny?" she asked In
a faltering voice and with a lowering i
of the eyes.
There was no reply In words, nis
arms around her waNt told the story.
Mar. 10 in American
IV;! 1 Mi(i;.-y r.u l. :ited American
must'-al composer, torn; died IIX!).
1RD2 Blis.ards a!! over the north went
1Su7 General Frederick Salomon, a
Federal veteran, noted iu t lie west
ern armies during the war, died;
Gs'f ':rr,u3 Motoring.
The f1ifr'-rni' e between learning golf
and motoring is that in golf at first you
hit nothing, but in motoring every
Intellect at.nti! fate. So f-ir as a
mnri tlitnks. tip Is fro. K'riorxon.
The many uses of
p-sw-fy ftff ''a.'B'-fv.-verrT'lwT1
If you were to use, for
each kind of washing,
cleaning, scouring and
scrubbing, one of the so
called special prepara
tions which are made,
you would have an im
posing and expensive
array of chemicals, wash
ing compounds, cleaning
There is one cleaner that
can take the place of them
all, and without the need of
borax, ammonia, kerosene
or naphtha, and that b
sold in li?ty
ar.d larre park- 'jlJP
"Ut th CCLD DUST TWINS Jo your wowk"
Mr 9VACAT M. JMITM .
JJAVINO labored with the legisla
tures, the uplhs are now trying
to reform the voter. Perhaps they
will get around to the men who dodge
There Is nothing a generous minded
woman won't do for a friend except
give her her formula for face cream.
A man witb a pet aliment Is never
By the time a mother has quit telling
the smart sayings of her babies the
grandchildren come along and give her
a fresh supply of anecdotes.
When a professional man starts out
to demonstrate that he in handy with
too! the remainder of the family brars
themselves to kep their sense of
humor from giving offense.
The man with the health fad mania
may usually be known by his lean and .
You can interest a woman in a nsw
dessert that can be made white the
guests are laying off their wraps out
of a bread crust and a cry of distress.
Falling into pools of water while
playing ball ts healthful for small boys,
but running errands on a wet day s
ways gives them sore throat.
Tt Jars your faith In humsnktrij
When you tnvet1at and And
The man to whom a dime you ("
From starving on the street to ea-ve
Or something worse, you were afraid.
Is working at It as a trade
And malting- more than soma who soil
Their dainty hands st useful ton.
Who could resist his strong appeal
For just enough to get a meal
Or for a dime to buy a bed
On which to rest his achln head?
For hen he roughs he looks so blue)
You courh llkowlse. ss from his cue.
And wouldn't you be sore enough
Were you Informed ha were a bluff t
Yet very often 'tis a fact
Th man who lws the begxar act
Has money hldflen In his sock
And maybe owns a business block.
And he la better able far
To give than what perhaps you are.
ills children do not cry for bread.
And he hns coin to paint things red. 4
Hut should that harden up your heart I
And make you slow with chink to part?
No; give a little here and there
A few of th-rn are on the square
And peace your footsteps will attend.
Worth more than thoso few cents you
When you have paid your little toll
It rests on his and nut your soul.
"Black strikes me as a very repel
"Naturally. What he knows Is nega
tive, and what he thinks he knows Is
positive, and tliey set up set ion ln dif
"Then he ought to electrify bis
"John proposed last night, dear,"
said Kthel to Maud.
"And is your wrist strained?"
"Why should It be?"
"An accident nilt'ht have happened
when you fell over yourself accepting
The Old Reliable.
"Radium Is the
new elixir of
"What 'doe it
bt an ounce."
"I'll atlck to
The ever cIi-joki'ik ocfn
I f ill of ( l.urmn tnd flh.
l'ut. oh. the foinur docin't raik
An app'-t zlns dl.-h!
John Pull call h'T's to I ride Sam
JIow'h otir crops. ikk-Ii'. this ses-
".Vn't stari'il to raise nothing yet
but I h.j Maine."
"She earn every cent nhe spends."
"I ix-s Mo? i i-ii l.y '"
"'I lie never thins: How?"
"I'.y K-ttiJi It out of her husband."
"II forgot he was married "
"I siihl he fort'ot ho wai inn rrled."
"How did he oiii.l.sh It?"
"Wh.'it Is your Id a of a good cookT
"(no who can get up a do'laT dinner
out f.f a o,uart"r's worth of material."
Mied His Opportunity.
'He was l.ni great."
'Mayle. but he han't lived up to
Tte j'TV.n !th a p'opom Mh
1 ri"t lt rr.'' i
Tie or.': who ? ;f toward the Sr
A!l In ao fceroj.lHfi".
H- X h!s rnij-tv i be devil
Zx'i'" lor on !''ve lvi.
Art ;ji r.'iuently hATat
-.vj lnc that, annoying tickling In
vour throat? Iio-s your couih ar.4
iioy you at night ana do you ra'se
! . jcoi;k In the morning? Io you
'want relief ? If so, take Chamber
Iain's f'ouith Iteuiedy and you will he
i pleated. Sold by ail druggists.