Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISTJAND ARGUS. MOXDAT, MARCH 13, 1911.
P-bKahed Daily and Weekly at
tecoiidavenue. Reck Island. IU. E
kred. at the poatofflce . aecond-claas
BY TME J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Deily. 10 cente per weak.
Weekly, f 1 per year In advance.
11 communications of ararumentatlve
Ibaraeter, political or religious, must
kave real name attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
iver fictitious elg-naturea.
Correepon deuce solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Monday, March 13, 1911.
No one should be judge In his own
It is a bad plan that admits of noK bnslneg methods; of Interest to, the court in order officially to be
Bodification. and with an influence on every person ' gin the case, but difficulties were
It is not every
lerves an answer.
Has the reform wave
The Easter, hat will be smaller but
there will be on abbreviation in
May the president's wish for Mr.
Ballinger come true and the former
secretary be so prosperous in private
life that be will never again be tempt
ed to desert It.
It is lucky that the United States
(s not a war-like nation. Just think
of the expense of transporting a body
the size of the German army to Texas
on five days' notice!
The letter of President Taft to
Ballinger has a ring which reminds
one of those dlplomafic epistles
which ambitious writers receive from
'And now that it's ail over," re-
marks the Newark Star, "wasn't that I ceptional importance to come before
tl "I!?. "t"" W:'.dJtbe council tonight, prominent among
Bnowed in New Jersey.
Be in readiness to treat the represen
tatives of the Rock Island Baseball
club in a friendly and liberal manner
when they come around for aid. Thev
have foupht to keep up the standard of
baseball here and they have fought to j
fceep up the standard of the league.
Senator Cullom dec-lares he 1s not
worried by the Illinois protest meet
ings. His friends recall that in the
notorious Quay case. Mr. Cullom ex-! prejudice to Captain Streckfus. On the
cited angry protests from the people j rontrarv, anvihing that Car.tain Streck
of Illinois by voting for Quay. They i fu8 waatg 6hould ,)e 1rvaie6 in the
say the resentment was much moreisri.it of frend!ii,M5 due a Rock Island
spontaneous and widespread then. ; man who l9 endeavoring to reestablish
and the fact that the people forgot j urper Mississippi traffic. At the time
and forgave Mr. Cullom and con-;the rlvpr front was permat)Pntlv im.
tinued him m oNco leads his frionds ; proVPd b th(? ci The g took th .
to believe that the Lonn,,r case will j poeltlon that it 6hoilld not ,iluW anv
quickly blow over. If Mr. CuUom s . cIr.umstance9 be encumbered with
health permits he will be a candidate j warehou8WB owned exclu8ive,y bv aru
for reelection and he w,ll go before 8ttaiaboat ,ines. The D!amond Jo
the people in the primaries with an I ,, ,vi., ,,a nrMi,.nn
ofcni iui iiiuivnuuu. i lid! lultl
to worn aingnt. especially lr he can ;
tell a poor boy tale and get help from
the Lorimer "barrel.
lom appears to have no rausp for!
legislator, and tJie Pttm.
lhe Chicago .News thus comments I
on the Lee O'-N'eil Browne bill
purpose of which is to muzzle
"The Illinois general assembly of
1 GOT i ' Vl 1 . " C: ' A 1 , V . . jnfflmnne f r- -i
J V . 11 V." , V. till. 1. . II 1.1U11" 11 .
i, , . .,, ., . i
tion and tras bills, was the most no-
torious legislative body in the history !
of the state up to that time. News
paper criticism was the chief agency
In driving from public life the larg
er portion of the members of that
body who were responsible for its
scandalous actions. The targets of this
newspaper criticism sought to retali
ate by the passage of libel laws intend
ed to interfere with the liberty of the
"It is significant that the scandals
if the last general assembly should
likewise be followed by an attempt
to pass a libel law designed to muz
zle the press And the instigator of
this movement, appropriately enough,
is Iee O'Neil Browne, the member of
the legislature accused of paying the
bribe money to make Lorimer sena
tor. ' "The newspapers of course make
their mistake, like other human agen
cies. Some of them may be actuated
at times by unworthy motives. Re
sponsibles newspaper publishers wel
come well considered measures de
signed to prevent abuses at the bands
of the prets. But measures proposed
by members of the legislature like
Lee O'Neil Browne, who are Justly
subjects cf newspaper exposure, are
conceived in malice and revenge.
Their purpose is not to correct abuses,
but to punish the honest rress for the
performance of public duties. The
legislature has no right to act in ac
cordance with that spirit.
"Representative Hull took the cor
rect view of the matter when he said
that he was in favor of a proper libel
law for Illinois. 'But.' said Mr. Hull.
in advocacy of the bill", 'for me he !
spoiled bis entire speech by dragging
in the Cullom case. That makes It
look like a punitive move on the part
of Mr. Browne. For my part, I think
this rener&l assembly is In bad re-
pute and that it is a poor time to talk
of libel laws. For that reason I shall !
oppose this bill.' "
The name of John Wanamaker is
Indicative of big things, big Ideas,
b!g enterprises. At the very begin-!
n!ng of his business career he
showed the big qualities of mind and
heart which have made tis business
what it is today.
The first day's receipts of the lit
tle store which be opened in Phil.iel
phia 50 years ago were $24.67. He
"kept the 67 cents for making change
next day," and Immediately spent the
$24 for newspaper advertising.
That investment took courage, a
bigger amount of courage than the
expenditure of ten thousand times the
amount would cost him now. It meant,
too, a big conadence in his goods ana j
a big knowledge of human nature. i
This year Mr. 'Wanamaker com- j
pletes a full half century of business j
life, and his associates have celebrat-1
ed the occasion by publishing a vol-
nmo rnVr1 the flnlrlon Honk nf the i
John Wanamaker Stores. ! other members of the Neapolitan
It is interesting reading, this Gol- Camorra for murder, formal pro
den Jubilee Book. It is the story ofjceedings in which began Saturday,
a pigmy which grew into a giant is confronted with serious obstacles
because it had a giant's heart. AI-
though a tale of peaceful com-
merce, it Is a record of exciting bat-
ties fought and won for a principle.
'it Ik the hlstorv of ereat revolution
; !who either buys or sells anything in at once encountered with the tales
question that de-1 thj civllIzed woria today. men. many of whom either offered
! The Golden Book of the John "Wan-j pretexts for not serving in the case.
amaker Stores, although of special
. jnterStg to mPrChants, manufacturers
land students of commerce, will be
found equally entertaining by the
general public. The story' of Wanamak
er s stores cannot De written whuoui
inclusion of a large part of the history
iof Philadelphia, which in this book is
tastefully illustrated with sketches of
many historic places.
Mr. Wanamaker's 50 years of busi
ness and his services as postmaster
general made him a host of friends in
public life, many of whom have shown
in speeches and articles their appre
ciation of his qualities or mind and
heart. It is especially fitting that the
photographs of some of these men.
with extracts from their expressions
of confidence and esteem, Fhould be
included in the book of Mr. Wanamak
er's golden jubilee.
Matters of Importance Before the
There are numerous matters or ex-
which are the proposition of Captain
John Streckfus for a lease of a portion
of the river front between Seventeenth
and Eighteenth streets for steamboat
warehouse purposes, the application for
another telephone franchise, and th- I
, t)eTiCin2 Ione View loon of the '
Pacing Ixmg ie loop of the ,
in-tity Railway company.
As to Captain Sireckfus' proposition.
the subject is one that should hav ser
ious consideration, and that without
'.ft it a long period of netfon':-.-
lions, in which. If The Argus' meruorv
! serves It correctly. Captain S'reckfu.
. ,. . . , , . 1
line, sustained the contentious of
The Argus, which eventually the coun
cil upheld, the Diamond Jo people be
came xcd and for a few seasons boy
cotted Rock I.-land. Their boats did
not call htre. later, however, they re
i t-uti IllCli'liy IteiBUOIlS WJI.T JtOCK IS
land and their boats res
esumed stops at i
guha. a! wave f
. - ,v,
Rock Island. Tie At
. -It , .
mt'.intauu tl i hat v. hat snaee of the river i
. 1 i.r.
; front remains between Seventeenth !
and Nineteenth fctreets should be re-
j s erved for the use of all steamboats
'the only apparent solution being a
warehouse built and owned by the city;
or fionting docks for the r.ifforont
. . . - . n- i - ' ' . . I ' V II 11 .
Rock Island & Davenport Ferry com
pany uses on both sides of the river.
When later the council permitted
one of the packet companies to lease?
pnit of the levee for a warehouse west
of Nineteenth street, the custom was
broken, and tinier these circumstances
it is not unnatural that Captain Streck
fus should come now asking for similar
rights on the most valuable part of
the river fiont. So that while the city
cannot afford to be inconsistent in
view of the concisions it has already
allowed, The Argus remains consistent !
wi'h Its original attitude.
Hence the city, having established
the precedent of allowing privileges,
and opening the way to others, gives
to Captain Streckfus warehouse rights
between Seventeenth and Eighteenth
streets, it ought to be careful as to the
extent and exclusiveness of the same.
As to the proposed telephone fran
chise, which means three telephone
companies in Rock Island, the simplest
way to dispose of it would seem to be
to put the matter up to the people un
der the commission form of municipal
government scon to take effect in Rock
Island. The promoters of the new
scheme have expressed their entire
willingness to have the people pass
upon the matter, and that would seem
to be the fairest and best way to dis
pose of it.
The I-oiig View loop is one the coun-
CJ 6hou,(1 dispose of once and for all
i ne council succeecea in getting a
pretty good franchise from the Tri-City
Railway company last year, one of the
most important provisions of which
was the completion of the'Long View
n V V.
" u- k reason or
ffoter' h&8 ha,Dg fire tDCe
lr v, I ine CUy 6nouI1
permit no hitch or technicality to
longer delay the completion of this
line. It Is a 'joke as it is, with cars
running at Irregular intervals
at the busiest time. and af-
fordiDg the poorest service of any line
In the Tri-Clty system. Dispose of the
subject in a way that will lasurs the
putting in of the connecting link this
spring. That is the duty thzi eersfrecta
the present council. It granted the
franchise and it is up to it to see that
the provisions are cornpMed with.
TALESMEN IN FEAR
OF THE CA&1QRRA
j obstacle to Trial of Murderous Ital
ians -May Delay Crmrt Pro
Viterbo. Italy. March 13. The
trial of Enrico Alfano and the 35
i and is likely, if present conditions
be considerably de-
a provisory jury was selected in
nart Satiirnav bv the nresident of
; or betook themselves to anotner ais
trict. where the authorities have not
as yet been able to lay hands on
President Blanchi endeavored by
threats of severe punishment to in-
j duce others to fulfill their civic ob-
ligations, but in vain
The authorities made strenuous ef
forts to obtain men qualified and
willing to sit in the jury box. but
fear of the Camorra and threats that
j have been circulated during the last
month offer almost insurmountable
barriers to the selection of the 12
regular Jurymen and the 12 substi
tutes to sit In judgment on the Ca
morrists. FUNERAL EFFIGIES.
A Queer Custom That Was Followed
In Bygone Days.
At the funerals of great personages,
the old chronicles tell us, "his lively
effigy," dressed to imitate life, was
carried In a chariot before the corpse
to the grave, then there set up cunder
a "hearse" or a temporary monument
In the church. Such effigies were of
ten left in a glass case standing over
the vault where the interment bad
taken place. Some statues were of
wood, with heads of plaster, but the
more modern ones were of wax.
In the olden days laudatory poems
or epitaphs were affixed with pins or
wax to ,hese "hparses" and were even
tLrown iEto on the coffln, ,n a
similar manner to onr modern custom
of flowers at a burial.
When Skelton. poet laureate to nen
ry VIII., "took sanctuary at Westmin
ster to escape the displeasures of the
then all powerful Cardinal Wolsey it
i said that he subsisted on what he j
earned by writing epitaphs for use at i
funerals In the abbey.
Ben Jonson's well known epitaph to
the Countess of Pembroke
Vnderneath this sable hearse
Lies the subject of all verse.
Sidney's sister, etc.
was evidently thus attached to her
"hearse." Westminster Gazette,
She Didn't Want Tickets.
There was a number of ticket buyers
in the theater lobby. Following the
unwritten law, they bad formed in J
line and were being waited upon ac- i
cording to prece-lence. Suddenly an
overdressed woman. Ignoring the line.
i rushed up to the window and tried to
engage the attention of the box office
', man. j
i The box office man shook his bead
i at her. "Madam." be said, with some
fmPhas!s- "on must take your P,ace
at. n of,the, ""t,"
Foot of the line? ' she repeated.
"Vou will not get any tickets." de
clared the man, "until all these people
in the tine have been served."
"Ticket !' replied the woman. "I
don't want any tickets. All I want is
change for a dime. Two nickels will
I do' Thanks."
And she hastily rustled out. Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Seeing and Feeling.
Bill Which do you think the most
reliable sense, seeing or feeling?
Jill Why. feeiing. of course.
"Well, when you look at a girl's foot
you think it is dainty; when she steps
on your toe you change your opinion."
A complete line of novelties
auch as pipes, hats, place
cards, Irish clubs, shamrocks,
napkins, dinner favors, crep
paper, murpbys, etc., can be
had at Maths.
For your dinner party order
our individual shamrock ioe
cream mould and green fancy
cakes. Just the thing.
1716-1718 Second A venae.
Machado Aspires to Be Military
Dictator, So Portugal Is Told.
-y - V. .X ,aa-i i Mi mm mi
ex: & f)
Dispatches from Lisbon indicate that an Attempt will be made to establish
a military dictatorship in Portugal pending the presidential election the latter
part of April. Bernardino Macbado, minister of foreign affairs, is the leader
in the movement and, it is said, will be the real power behind the new regime
even though he is not named dictator. Royalist outbreaks are becoming more
frequent, and the troops are handling such .disturbances with Increased vio
lence. Machado. his enemies assert, will control the election if the military
dictatorship is effected and may possibly succeed Uie provisional executive.
The Argus Daily Short Story
Joel Tykesbury's Farewell By Clarissa Mackie.
Copyrighted, 1911, by Associated Literary Press.
When Joel Tykesbury opened the let
ter and read that his step-uncle on
his mother's side had died without
near relatives and had left him the
comfortable sum of $15,000 in ccsh
there was not a soul to whom he
confided the astounding nws. Close
locked behind his compressed lips was
hidden a secret that would have pro
vided the people of Little River with
a measureless source of Interest for
the coming winter months.
Joel kept his secret, ami no one was
the wiser when he closed the little
harness shop and spent several days
in New York. But when be returned
from the city and prof-eeiled to sell
the contents of his shop at auction
prices, when he presented the fur
niture contained in his lonely bachelor
abode to the thriftless Nickols family,
who lived on the edge of the village,
and finally when the minister dropped
a word in the mldt of the Ladies' Aid
society's Wednefay sociable then Lit
tle River sat up very straight and took
"Yes," said Mr. Beeman. thoughtful
ly stroking his scanty beard; "Joo
says he's tired of Little River, so be
is goiDg to New York to live. lie
seems to feel rather bitter about the
way he's been received in our vil
lage. He saxs he's lived here fifteen
years and he isn't much better ac
quainted than when he came."
"That's every mite his own fault,
then!" cried Miss Fanny Pollard
warmly. "He's the most unsociable
man In Little River. My conscience
is clear about Joel Tykesbury. I've
done the best I could to make it pleas
ant for him In church and out!" A
suppressed giggle from the young girls
In a distant corner closed Miss Fanny's
lips Into a grim frown. Her small
brown eyes shot little angry sparks at
"That ia very true. Miss Pollard,"
soothed the minister peacefully. "I
am sure we have all done our best to
make Joel feel at home in our midst"
Mrs. Deacon Spinning bit her thread
with a sharp click of her false teeth
and folded up the gingham apron she
had completed. "Seems like I'll never
forgive myself If Joel Tykesbury goes
away from Little River feeling sore
about the way he's been treated. I
don't believe any of you really know
jnst how kind hearted he is. Only he's
dreadful shy, and it'a a setback to
"lie was terrible noncommittal," an
nounced Fanny Pollard, with the air
of one who is treading familiar ground.
"Manya the time I've sat and pon
dered what Joel meant when be said
such and auch a thing."
"Most times I reckon he didn't mean
nothing at all." said Mrs. Spinning
cheerfully. "I take it Joel was shy.
But, land, why are we all talking about
him aa if be was dead and waiting
to be burled? If Joel Tykesbury don't
like the way he's been treated here
he's not going to stay in Little River
for nobody. I'm sorry ne'e golnx. for
I do like him. Once he shut ui Jtli
shop and came over and helped Henry
get in his bay when It was threatening
a storm, and another time when Lin
ny had the measles he went clean over
to the Ford after Dr. Mitchell and
didn't want to bear a word of thanks
"And giving away his furniture
ain't that the queerest thing? I s'pose
likely he's going to board when he gets
to the city," murmured Annie Baker.
"Maybe he Is going to get married.
Now I come to think of It I shouldn't
wonder a mite if that was the secret
of his going. He's going to get mar
ried to a widder, maybe, and she, hav
ing a houseful of furniture left by
her first husband, won't have no need
f.r Joel's thines." Mrs. Spinning
beamed around the busy circle. "I'm
mighty glad to think he's going to get
married. He's just the nicest kind of
man. ne'll make some girl a good
husband. I'm reappointed, though. I
kinder hoped he'd pick a wife -from
There was a long silence after this,
broken only by requests for the "sixty
white thread" or the "forty black,"
until at last Mrs. Willowell, at whose
house thej bad met, announced that
refreshments wonld be served In the
dining room, and so for the time being
Joel Tykesbury and Lis affairs were
Joel himself, having given away his
furniture and disponed of his business,
sat in his lonely room In the best hotel
the village afforded and wondered what
he would do next.
'Til shake the dust of this here vil
lage from my feet," said Joel morosely,
eying his reflection in the wavy mir
ror with a gloomy frown. "There
won't be one person that will miss roe
when I'm gone. If I'd been treated
decent here I'd never thought of leav
ing Little River. It wonld have done
the village good to spend my money
here. I con Id bnlld a house as fine
as Lawyer Beggs and live on my In
terest money. The women ain't never ;
noticed me much, and I ain't a bad
looking feller." Joel reddened as be
lifted shy eyes at his reflection In the
mirror. Good looking In spite of the
irregularities In the glasa thick grow
ing brown hair, brown eyes, ateady
and trustworthy in their open gaae
and yet with a certain diffidence In
their depths; a fine nose and a wide,
well cut mouth showing reserve In its
firmness. In fact, Joel Tykesbury was
a handsome man, and although be was
forty years old there waa not a thread
of white in his abundant hair.
Suddenly be arose and, approaching
the glass, brushed hia hair into some
semblance of order. Til go to New
York tomorrow night, and now, after
Pve bad my supper, 111 aay goodby
to some of the folks that I've had ac
Joel's scowl waa quite black when
ha rang the doorbell at Spinning's;
therefore when the portal awnng wide
and the ban abed a stream of light
over hia form be blinked and winced
like an owL
."It's Joel Tykca&urr. as I liver cried
; Mrs. Spinning heartily. "Now, this Is
real neighborly! Come right In and
have a bite to eat. We've just sat
- down to supper. Henry, here's Joel
come to trapper!"
"Henry," she said, addressing her
husband, "eat your supper quick and
! be about what I planned. Tonight at
9 o'clock everybody, you understand?"
i Mrs. Spinning nodded and frowned and
! bid lied at her husband.
Til see to it Maria," he chuckled
aoftly. Then, addressing their guest,
he faid, "When yon going to leave
Little River. Joel?"
"Tomorrow night." said Joel, helping
himself to another biscuit
"Wish you was going to stay." said,
the deacon cordially. "Yon'll be miss
"Missed!" scoffed Mr. Tykesbury,
forgetting his diffidence in his aston
ishment "Who'll miss me?"
"Everybody in Little River." said
the deacon quietly. "There's few here
but what you've done a good turn for
some time or other. You've forgotten
'em. I suppose, but folks haven't!
They like to aee yen around, and if
you wasn't so bashful you'd be the
most popular man in the village, not
even excepting the postmaster. Eh,
"Of course he would! You look ao
stern. Joel, that it seems to some folks
that you're a stony pillar of the church
in deed as well as name!" Mrs.
Spinning laughed heartily, while Joel
smiled in a surprised manner.
"Me bashful?" he stammered. "Why.
I never thought about that. I guess
I thought folks wasn't cordial enough
when they thought I wasn't."
"You've got to meet folks half way
In everything. Taln't fair to expect
some to do all the being pleaaant and
sociable. Well. Maria, 111 go on that
errand if Joel will excuse me. See
you later!" With that the deacon dis
appeared, and Joel helped Mrs. Spin
ning clear away the dishes.
"Do you recollect my niece, Char
lotte Way land r ahe asked as she step
ped Into the front parlor and lighted
the prism bung lamp on the center
table. "She was visiting me ten years
Joel flushed hotly. Indeed, he did
remember the pretty girl at whom he
scarcely dared glance in church, yet
to whom he bad irrevocably lost his
heart Much of the silence and lone
liness of the past ten years might be
laid at the door of his heartslckness
after pretty Charlotte had returned to
her distant home. He beard after
ward that she had married.
"I emember," he said faintly.
"She's In Little River. Come to
visit my sister. Charlotte's widow
and as pretty a one as I ever saw. I
declare, it don't seem proper for a
widow to be quite so good looking aa
our Charlotte." Mrs. Spinning smiled j
innocently as she thrust a photograph
Into Joel's hand. "That's Charlotte.
She's coming around tonight, and
you'll have to see her home."
At that Instant the bell rang clamor
ously, and, with a slight chuckle of
delight. Mrs. Spinning hastened to an
swer it, while Joel devoured the pic
ture With bis. eyes, now hopeful, no
longer shy or diffldeut. Their depths
contained a new purpose, a new light,
a new courage. Here was something
lo fight for and win Charlotte Way
land that was!
The door opened, and Into the room
streamed a merry crswd of men, wo
men and children. All the folks In
Little River seemed gathered together
under Deacon Spinning's hospitable
roof. "Surprise. Joel Tykesbury!"
th?y cried In unison as they crowded
In that brief moment of excitement
of meeting all these old acquaintances
In this genlsl atmosphere they drop
ped the old guise and became friends.
Joel swallowed n sob as he realized
that they had gathered to sny goodby
to him, to say how sorry they were
he was leaving Little River, to give
him a sendoff and to eay to hlr.i thnt
pvery lntchstrtng In Little River was
always out for Joel Tykesbury.
That was the beginning of the hap
.niext evening Joel bad ever known.
Defore It ended he had forever drop
ped his cloak of reserve, and he found
that his fellow townsmen met him
more than half way. A strange new
Joy sang in his heart, for the widowed
Charlotte had blushed beautifully
when their eyes met and be had ask
ed the pleasure of her company home
and been accepted. All Bt once his
plans changed with Ugbtnlug rapidity, j
He wonld remain In Little Rlvr. He
would bnWd the house, and Charlotte
he would win ber! He was glad that
his Inheritance was still a secret.
"Joel Tykesbury seems to have
found his tongue at last," said Miss
Fanny Pollard rather acidly. "Seems
like he's all took up over that flighty
widow. I guess Maria Spinning
knew what she was talking about
when she said be was going to marry
Mrs. Spinning overheard the remark
and smiled mirthfully. "I didn't know
a thing. Fanny. Charlotte's coming
now was a dlspenaatloii of provi
dence." "Dispensation of providence, assist
ed by Maria Spinning!" sniffed Miss
Pollard, quite unconvinced.
Mar. 13 in American
1867 Cession of Russian America
'Alaska to the United States. Rus
sia acquired It by virtue of the
right of discovery.
1901 Benjamin Harrison, twenty-third
president of the United States,
died; bom 1823.
1606 Susan Browne!! Anthony, pioneer
woman suffragist died: born 182a
Ryan, the corner cop. gave us the
best definition of strategy we have
ever heard. "Sthrategy," says Ryan,
"is whin ye keep right on sbootin' so
the lnlmy won't know yere all out it
ammunition." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Miss Bute How dared yoo kiss me?
Didn't you hear me say "8ir!" when
you asked me if you might? Jack
Slanger I thought you aaid "Cert."
r DVACAA M, ITU
TTOT air hi apt to be explosive, bnt
It Is Injurious only to those who
bad taken stock In the company limit,
. The poet says it 1 not always May,
and nobody disputes blm at this sea
son of the year.
Farting is sweet sorrow, but It Is
nothing to m eting a creditor face to
The world Judges a man by what ha
does, a woman by what she wears.
A woman'-a Idea of a clever woman
is one that can trim her old hat so
that It will look like those In the win
dows of the exclusive shops.
The old fsshloned woman was de
lighted with a new Sunday school
program, but It takes a new uptlft
movement to enthuse the modern wo
man. The man who Is sure he can solve
the servant girl problem doesn't ex
plain why be doesn't try the plan on
his office force.
The man who knows he esn't pick a
winner often reflects on the law
If a girl were really as pretty as her
mother thicks her the police would
hare to break the blockade every time
ahe went down town.
When a young man starts out to
win the price of an auto on the board
of trade a car fare looks good to him
In the end.
We watch thm eeaaona come and so.
The dying year, the melting enow.
And. though we may regret their flight.
Not b enamored of the alaht.
We ennot do a alosle thine
About it they are on the wing.
Tee. like at racer, trae end strong.
They hit the trail and oa a.lon.
They never weary of the cheae.
But. keeping; up a constant pace, ,
Tell off the aeaaona day by day.
Then make a hurried get-away.
And useless I It to protest
Or plead that they may take a rest
They are not of the loafing kind.
They etraln to leave the paat behind;
Into the future plunge In glee
Just as a bather In the aee.
We 11 ten to the ticking clock.
We take a walk around the block.
Dlacura a meal and take a amoke.
Then titter at a new laid Joke.
And. biff, before we know a thing
We've plunged Into another spring!
Tee, they are moving day by day
And taking ua along the way.
And we are agin more or lesa.
And, though it causea some distress.
All we can do la watch them flit
And grin and make the beat of IL
"Is there truth In him?" ' 'f,
"Yes. He Is chockful of It"
"How do you know "
"There is truth in all tMngs. isn't
"Well, none ever came out of him."
"She married a horse doctor."
"You are mistaken."
"So I heard."
"lie may have been a horse doctor
before they were married, but be is a
veterinary surgeon now."
"I am tired of living."
"Then why don't you quit?"
"1 never did it aud ilou't know how.'
Hands It Round.
"I'.rown has on
"Ys; but there
Is one good thing
"What Is It?"
"He is gener
ous." "Generous?" '
"Yes; he al
ways gives every
body a portion of
"Those sow;." said Miss Oldly,
"take me back to my childhood"
"They miatf be owerful songs."
"If they are able to carry so far."
"Why are you ao bed?"
"Well, become when I am dead I
expect to be good s long time."
"Do you think kissing Is dangerous?"
"On account of the germs?"
"No; on account of the old man."
"now does your wife manage to get
slong without a girl?"
"I telMier she can beat 'em all to a
Ife aald he'd rather atarve than ateal
If he were ever out a. cerat.
But when he stowed away a meal
By stealth he lookei so Innocent.
Are you frequently hoarse? In
you have that annoying tickling In
your throat? Does your cough an
noy you at night and do you raise
mucous In the morning? Do you
want relief ? If so, take Chamber
laln'a Cough Remedy and you will be
pleased. Sold by all druggists.