Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLAND ARGUS. SATURDAY. MARCH IS. 1911.
P1?leeS Dally n4 Wrttlr t 6J
Becoid arns. Rock Island. IU- En
terefl at the postornco aa ccond-claa
BY TrvE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dally. 10 cents pr week.
Weekly. II pr year In advance.
All communication of artmentatlTe
character, political or rellgrloua. maet
have rs.l came attached for publica
tion. No Buch article -will be printed
ever fictitious ctg-natares.
Correspondn.ee solicited from every
township In Rock Is'.acd county.
Saturday, March 18, 1911.
Now Buffalo r.V.l things he has a
show to entr the I'nite.d States 6enate.
Jo-urn ?" a.s!: t h
row for aH wo. .
the legislature ad-'nothing less than this sum will en
Chieacb News. Right! able the young lady to maintain her
ire. I social standing, and so, the court
Presumably Canadian reciprocity is;
being rar'uin proomed for its appear j
ence in tbe src.al fsslon of congress.
Mr. Taft and Mr. Rockf "eller met on
the golf course at A'larta. Oa., th'.3
week, ani doubtless each envied the
Frank Oould threatens to expose
Ftandard Oil. Wh:.t is th?.t old paying
f.lmui taking a certain person to catch
a certain person?
rbilruahea. Settled up by the Mex
r-?i n u -oreent.-, i3 not in as bad shape
as r :d teri t'-arod. There is still on
lir.iid c i l (nM'jL'h to run the brewery
fc rr tt. weel.s.
!of the mine owners, and in the mean
i;p'1!:i pays the laws and prac-; time the protected interests are cry-
: .1 i l v -
.revr: u b an'i pnuu,...
ue opt,o: d to any re6ort to
civil conns f;
'he adjudication of d;f-
fereiices, Internal or otherwise. So are
they opposed to such peanut tactics as
Lave boon employed by Kins lia and
Team'-y to drive ar.y controversy into
The ( o irts.
Frar.li Wool worth, who will !,p the j
owner of the row skyscraper in New!
Tork, which is to top the Singer build-
.. i... i f ...... ... . r.. .. .) l.
uy rvi n.E -.iu.u uiiv ;
3D vnsimeni, cs n is manv unu'-s mu-;..
II M t t1 r TV 1 .
jiour. w" a !
cry KrMu cuts, uuu w.naoui capital,
out a l:ttie later he suirt"d a store .n )
l.-Ucn. and j-id the, fotir.datior. of ,;!:
- - -
fortune, znd he is row a little more
than 50. Ho wns among the first to;
"" -'t--a ui ; cen
Ftores, ana. rvaduf liy increased ''i ; states which have usually been repub-ow-Derrhlp
until had 2,c, separate . Ucan 6irlce the clvI1 war give a total
Ion't Fail to YiH-.
In the camp'ji-a before the rc.--ent
cltv primary under the commission,01' ,ue i lesuon :u jv.
form of government Tlie Argus adopted '
The slopan. "Whatever you do do. do
vote.' The admonition will be equally :
rresr'.ng in the city ebction to be h?'1
April 4. It i impor'ant that every
oter make u; his mind in advance as
to whom he will support at the jolls.
and that he spare no pains to record '
Lid choice i: the proper mat; ner and ,
at the proper time. The llrnt mayor (
aad comm!f.r.!oiKi,6 under the new fcrrn :
of government will have more impor-
taut dutiea to perform than any thaf
wi l come after them for years. Pick
iue very oe! men evnnaoie, and give: cud Wyoming1 have democratic gov
lhem your vo'p. That's the very least ' errors. Their votes total 90 which
3 ju can do tor jour city.
Bryan's St'w on Program. )
Commoner: Haw impossible it ls to
read the future! Who would have
fropbeFled Jan. 1, ir0!. that by July 1.
1911. an income t.x amendment wo'ul i
have been submitted by a republican
rresldent. senate and houde. and la':-
red by a majority of states? Who.
would have predicted that by that time
an amendment would have been sub
mitted for the election of I'n'tcd States
senators by popular vote? Who expect
ed taiitT reduction so eoon? And yet
the special session democrats wanted
b;:t coid nt compel is
bro:it-M by the "old guard!
Now demooaey has its chance. I.ot ;
it Improve it; let It mot the resnonsl-
bllitles or the hour. ;
First Let it ratify the recirrocitv ;
ratify the reciprocity j
acr.-ement the failure to ratify which
brought the special session.
Svcond Ijp; it aim it Arizot.a ar.d
Third Iet it submit a constitutional
amendment provide? for ehx-tion of
Vrilted States senators by direct vote
Fourth !.. it rcdrro the tarilT.
schedule by schedule, ar.d e4,her re
lieve the pt-opb .r prevent an issue
for the president aud his party fo meet.
Cannonism ha alrtr.dy been over
thrown iird there are . "h.r reform
th.t need attention, but t'.e or.es men
tioned co."o first. Now for business.
Insiinvct Are Jivide.
The trouMe in ?!ciicc seems 'to be
re: only thru a part cf the population
is In revolt against the government,
but ih:.t that j art is divided into two
faotu-ns that are ssaia hopelessly di
vided In their ;-c'.:cy. The liberals say
that they want letter government ar.l
t: tflinjicatlon of Di.v.. The Mader
Isias wuct thi elimination of Fiaz plus
tie elevation of Madero o the presi
dency. This t-:at3ieut comes from
jcertain sources which may or may not
. reliable, but the former history of
J.Iexico and ether L&tl republic rev
flutiocs gives room for suspicion that
(mere ls more or less political ambition ;
p-.xia 13 ice fuons or the revolu-jof Matteawan and Fishkill. the totaJ
tionists. .population being about 15.oOO Mount
Ttat the revolutionists of the liberal , Vernon. Saratoga Springs, and Lock
type are workitK for the ovt i throw r.f
B-t, v.., v. i..-u.--
"v " lorc
ed the accumulation of vast estates by
Lis favorite made up of property tak
en from the people. Thi3 is no more
than the advocates of tariff reform In j
the United States bare charged against j
the high tariff party in congress and j
the administrations that have worked
In connection with them. :
But we don't go to war over that in !
the United States. We simply make j
war upon the stump and in the news- j
papers and make them look like the i
traditional "30 cents." j
As far as we are concerned, looking!
at it from this side of the Rio Grande, j
all insurrectos "look alike to us." I
There may be several kinds of insur- ;
; rectos in Mexico, but they are all
; the same box."
A Penniless Girl.
-Miss Maria Louise Elking is the
granddaughter of the Late William
L. Elkins. She is onlv 19 vears old.
j with a beautiful home and servants
galore, but she has been absolutely j
ftarvir.g along on an allowance of)
$21,000 a .year. Her mother now.
comes into court and insists that!
;fcas decided that the trustees mav
- ve the young girl what allowance;
th!' 868 nt- If sne ls unable to main-1
tain hr ocIa! position on $20,000 j
la year, the amount may be increas-
. ec. Senator raklns' property is:
! largely in coal lands, and there has'
been considerable complaint as to
'he condition of the mines in West!
When one young girl, unmarried
; finds it necessary to spend $20,000 a j
i year to keep up her social status, j
j somebody else must pay the freight.)
This is a maxim as simple as a law in I
. mathematics, and yet. we go on perpe-
t rating these injustices and wonder at
'tj,p rrv cj socialism
Most of these
coal miners in West Virginia are for-
eieners who have been brought in
"here to be exploited for the benefit
.Rg for more legislation and strenu-;
r.;;s!v objecting to any revision of the!
It miy be a question as to how long
we can keep the lid on the pot and
retain the pent-up gases. When they
do explode, let everybody stand from j
Conntine I'nhatrhcd Chickens.
The new electoral college, which
(will reg'eter the choice for president
In m2 wi3 coasist cf 529 members,
15 will be required to elect. Al- j
n-niy that quality of political Intel
;vhkh delights in counting chick - !
J . ' "7:i "11'
-1 1 r ri n rTT1 i oc cnonn lUTinn rnn rorn in
the probabilities !
ire soiiu soiun, ncnmmg Arizona..
;na Jfift vofP8 for the democrats The'
,of 23s The doubtful states have 131 ,
;if Colorado, Idaho, Nebraska and Utah !
arf. considered doubtful. They always j
went republican for president except I
tin the face or these figures the re
pablicans would appear to have a long
iieni fiart. as tripy win neea out .i
of Thi doubtful votes to win, while the
democrats will need in.", but the
v,irft publican- states include Ohio, j llc, t0B better government is an in
( or.uecticut. Massa husetts and Maine jdex of peneral good citizenship
which now have democratic governors. I
have Rl votes. Subtract these j
from one column and add them to the '
other and the score stands: Rpuhli-1
cans. 1K4; democrats, 214, with 131!
rtill in the doubtful list. And of these
doubtful states Colorado, Idaho. Indi
ara, Montana, New Jersey, New York '
would let the democrats win in a walk
-!f they ccnld get 'em. To sum tip:
It's easy for the republicans If they
; can ry the states they have usually
h;;rl in Presidential years since 1800.
iard p"8' for the democrats if they
r,n farr' ,he states they did In 1910.
I In otnoi wo"ds. the chickens will be
' u " w"n ur are ,la,-t:"pa- wnir:will be as follows:
ill v. . a a rr. . y '
';' ' ",H nrfl 1 etuay anerinej
,'.:rst .Monoay in .-Novemoer. and
: not before.
mnnrsioii form I. rowing.
Chicago News: One of the most!
impressive developments of recent;
,iars has been the steady, quiet, con-
slant growth of sentiment for the com-1
mission form of government for cities. I
This is oue of the progressive move-:
meats that is gradually spreading in-
to ail parts of the country. It is not!
of record that any place which has'
tried the experiment has returned to '
ti e older forms. '
How widespread the movement has j
become-it Is no longer regarded as I
a nove!tvi8 revealed in a recent re-!
k.. o-. -n.n..
vhertiu i.o less than 114 citts in
this county are listed under he roni-j
mission form. It is true, of course. ;
... . . i , .
that as yet tne development Lss been
rather closely confined to the small -
er eties. lew cf those that have
adopted commission government ex -
. eed loO.Ot O iu population. Of these
li ay uv iiiruu-'ucu v a..,
i.t: Mrmii ibid. ia.. ij-.-j :
5po:;are, Wash., I'4.4v2, and Mem- j
ihis. Tenn, 131.105. Several, however, !
are nearly in the lOo.OOO class, 5n
cludln? Des Moines. Iowa; Kansas
City, Kansas; Dallas. Texas: San An
tcnio. Texas, and Tacoma, Washing
ton. The movement is not confined to the
central division of the country, the
west and the south. Interest in the
subject is being developed in the east
which is ordinarily cautious in taking
up new ideas. The people of Beacon,
N. V.. are seeking permission to adopt
the commission form of government
with radical features. Beacon Is the
name chosen for the combined village
. . . .. ----- - - .
taT a' PW te suite!
War Maneuvers In South Find United States
Troops In Splendid Trim For Active Service.
Sf;,..-...: : !. "? . ..; . ' " . " ..:-... K l
J ' - . - T :'' I. r..A.-.-... :,: : . , " v: ;J,V..3jt- -t. j? tj
..a, - , ; - . : ' - 11
I eovprnmpnt frr nnthnrifv tr nrtnni!
- ,, - -., nnn !
ulation of 423,715. is the largest city i
in lha pftimtrv tn nnd thr- rrm mic.
sion form of government, but thus far
,egi3lature fcas Defcn deaf to its
It is we'l to remember, however,
(that forms are cot everything. Ex-
President Roosevelt gave timely warn
ing the other day in Birmingham
whn h Raid tlir.t thfr is no "nut-
ent gyst(?m of KOvernment which will
work by itself If you don't act Uio
nart nf erxtd citi-'.pnK" rtuil Hint "fh
roQt of fhe niatler 15es n 1he charac.
ter of the individual citizen.-'
At the same time the fact that any
communitv ripmnntl o form which nn-
Notice is hereby given, that
Tuesday, the 4th day of April, A.
1911, an election will be held in the'
city of Rock Island, 111., for the fol-.
lowing officers, to wit:
One mayor for four years.
Four commissioners for
Six assistant supervisors.
One town clerk.
Places for registration and
pjrst ward, second precinct 62S
Second ward first monnrt
Second ward, second
919 Sixth avenue.
Third ward, first precinct
J1' building. Third avenue and Four-
Third ward, second precinct j
rd ward, third precinct 1101 I
Fteentl1 8trlet- !
Fourth ward, first precinct 1914 j
Third avenue. j
Fourth ward, second precinct i
Jrln"y church VeStry' rear of 1S1Si
Fifth ward, first precinct Hoss j
house on Twenty-second street.
Fifth ward, second precinct j
. u mill a r i ! i , o.o t Cli-
j lietn stl-eet
1 ward firgt precinctHcBe
house OQ Twenty.s,xth gtreet.
; SiIth WJlrd. second precinct
jrear of ?700 SeveDtn a,enue. ;
Cx-sswi r h ret rs. i r .
?i ia t.-; u
Seventh ward, second precinct
Ppter80n-8 memer shoo. 510 For-
Seventh ward, third
Gannon's paint shop.
Fourteen til !
avenue between Thirty-eighth and
M. T. REDO REN,
City and Town Clerk.
Rock Island, 111.. March 14, 1911.
Grace Bryan Will Marry.
Lincoln. Neb., March 18. Miss'
Grace Dexter Bryan.daughter of Mr. and
Mrs William J. Bryan, will be married
early iu June to Richard I Margraves, ;
a business man of Lincoln. Annouee-;
ment of the engagement was made;
last evening by Mr. and Mrs. Bryan.
of the youriz people'
is of long standing and has met the
cvu.i ii5 uiti me :
approval of their famUies.
The Argus Daily Short Story
The Emperor of the Air By Allen C. Laraond.
Coiyrigrlitcd, 1311, by Associatud l.ittr.iry J'rcss.
It was my part for months to use a
Tarty telephone wire with t,ll its en
noyances. I have waited for half an
hour at a time while two women dis
cussed a domestic problem or bit of
scandal before being able to call up
some one with whom I needed to com
My telephone is in the upper ball,
near my bedroom. One nigl.t I was
awakened by a sharp rie.g. Jumping
out of bed, I went to the telej '.'one and
took up the receiver.
"Well?" I .said.
"Hello! Hello! Did you call me up?"
Tbeu there was a lot of cli l ing, at
the end of which a woman's voice
"For Leaven's sa!;e, Jobu, come at
on e! Bring help."
My name is not John, and I knew the
i message was not for r.ie. but some one
I was in trouble, and I realized the im
portance of jTL-tting the itd.lre.- i.t
voting i once.
"Where s!iall I come?" I asked,
"Why. I'm Ethel. I'm at homo."
"Where is your borne?"
'Oh, dear H Mertoti avenue!"
There was a click, but as t!:e con
nection was not brol.en 1 inferred that
the receiver bad been dropped rathi-r
than shut oIT. Then I beard a di'.loprue
between a man ami the woman who
hid bec-n talking t me. The m;-a
"I'm the emperor of th
air. Iu my
aeroplane I ride above the clouds. 1
am always at war with the worms
cr.awlins on the face of the earth.
When I like I swoop down and slay
"AEE YOCT THE KliPEltOB O? THE ilil?"
tLem with fire and sword or from my
eyrie In the sky drop bombs upon '
1 did not bear this plainly and dU- '
tiLictly as I have written ir. I simply ;
pa there 1 enough to till it out. Tuen .
the woman said: .
..n .,. h.r. v..,i h. r fl n m ;
,,ars tamfr-rovr. Don't tou remem- ;
,.-, t,-m i-.a C1.-,t t..v -r. .-! I
"oi i,re riht. J Ui.ve near v .-
ioco.Ouu uiiles to make. When 1 return
I shall publ; -h an account of my trip.
I slj'ill toil the world all a! out the
Martian caiitala. I shall solve the
great planetary probV.m of I lie age."
"Sj you will. Now go to bed and
get a good rest preparatory to your
join i cy."
"Ethel, you're trying to fool me. If
you s;iy anything more I'll kill you.
Do you suppose that I. the emperor
cf the air, need rest! I'm not mortal.
I'm the emlKioiment of one who Hew
l'P over the A tides ami never came
l'.ii, Ho wsh received u; into heav
en and there civen the secret th-,t
madi.' h:oi emperor f the air. I am
I.o. No human heimr shall trammel
me iu my fig'its. t-'ay another word
and this shall be sheathed in your
From the sounds I then liuard the
mail M-emed to be driving tb woman
out of the room.
i'l'.ere was a miiigiitig of voices as
Ihey recede. 1 until they ut-re lost. A
door that before had been closed bad
ptobalily Lren' left o;ivn as the two
pvrso::.- went out. for I b.-ard a do. 1;
ticking. md presently it struck il.
I he.i. l voices aga.r - oth.T
voices evHleiitl.v m a
di.T ret.t lo -:,!i:y.
'Is? il i,t yii. Tilly?"
"Yes. You're Maud?"
j "Yc-s, I'm Maud. I've Just frnt a !et
1 tor from Sum. lie j-ny v.e rau.-it .
' i::f.rried on the l"t!i t:nd sail tic- s un
. eveiiin;:. 1 ".n't It terrible?"
. "Wb :i's terrible?"
"Wbv. to be icari't-l anl i-- "n a
r-edin:-: trip on the unlueuy l.,.!i."
It v:i.s evld-.'iit that tht scene had
ct (if;.v il aid 1 was !:k !y to ft no
further in rm"tl' ?i of tin? wm:ia:i i.i ;
distress. I dropped tbr receiver, rs.n
into my rriom, dres-ed. and. hiving 1
! v.-riiten down the sddrrs I bail re
; celve.'l that I might roi for.'et it, sal
i ll.-d forth t- .ifToid relief to the tret
! hied one. I knew of no sii'b t
'as Morton ave;.uo. bu ra-"ii'-d th-it
it ss not fur from me. since it- bone I
I ttiis on the same par'v wire.
There i one thlna a:'it 11." int
j ar th'i f hire I.f't me,,!.;)-! '.'.'li
' voice v:;n one of tit" . ;;; -t, i.j j.-r mo- j
lodiur.s I eer t:e;:.-.1. Wl.I.e I w.1
!::-ite:ii:s to it, hii'. ss::i, an I as j
I sallied f.,rth I coijI:1 I. ear the j oi .
tirl fr the oice seen il to in-!: uw .
that she wiid a girl-p!eJ.din with tiie'.
laan to o to bed and get the rc.-.J-Vi
rest for hi t journey to the f iat.ei ?i iv-i
It was evident to me that .-'..' was f.l uf
i up with a lu:. a; d I !:;. d'.i I t ;t
i she beraurde td b fore I could rea. h ! r.
i netted ;.n empty hck. told the
d: l- or to t.-.e me to
i:..e a;. .1 bc juirk about it. He askeJ
li.e v. h-re it wa.-5, aii J I toid bii.i it
was j.t :.Kit.,n avei.ue. jfe must fiuJ
it. and f!.jd it at once. I would pay
d -utile fare With th: I pot into tbe
hack. I .-nt.ivil the door, find U., co.h
iun drove o;i. Where to go l.e ucln't
t-J know any more than I did.
After j'.in; beck and forth a ferr
tims ar:d trtiinu' several '.,-r..--r be
hriiied a p,!;cetii3n. v, b- sent oim ';i a
tilflft-rc-iit dire t. hi f;-,.,ii ai.y 1 h;.d
yet followed- My first i bought w.- to
take t:;e poli-emaa with me, but some- j
how I couldn't brin' myself t- share .
wit'i .i:;y o-.1 th- pie: ;-ire nf re!;:v!u;
a v : ;,iu iu K.'tre-, ; :--it pt
v.-on :d .-.ot be to., i:!e for a..y cr.r I re- '
u ne driver finally stopped in the tnlfi- :
die of the street. I opened the door '
and nsked: !
"Well, have you found Mertoti ave- '
"This i Mertou avenue, sir." was th
reply, "but I can find the number."
He drove back and forth, while it j
seemed to me tbr.t I should go wild
v i;h impatience. Then, suddenly catch- 1
iajr slsrbt of a number in a lighted ;
transom TS I Jumped from the hnclt
j and hurried along the street till I
j found No. S5. The house stood by ;
! itself, no other t eing within a hundred ,
' yards. I ran up the steps and tried
j the door. It was locked. Iesir!n to
eoter without ringin.;r. I went around
to the rear and fortunately found a
window unlocked. Entering. I rati
itito the lower hall r.nd stole softly up- ;
stairs. I beard voice.
The only weapon I b.i.l brought with
me was n small rpe. Armed wih .
this. I sudden';- apjeared nt the door
of the room within which 1 heard the
voices and exclaimed : 1
"A message for the emperor of the
In the room, pacing back nrd forth
snd Lraudiohins a knife-, was a youm? ,
man about twenty years old. A girl
of eighteen was following him about,
talking with him In a voice of great
distress. I'.oth turned at once on bear
ing my voice. !
"Are you the emperor of the air?" .
I asked of the man. I
"I am." !
"I have been sent by the kla of
space, the realms of infinite ether, to
guide yoti to a new machlue, a ma
chine that will bear you not only to
Mars, a neighboring planet, tut to
Neptune, the most distant, and thence
to the fixed stars."
My reference to hi proposed trip to
Mars awakened confidence at once.
"Where Is this macLhie?" he asked.
I am deputed by the king of spnc
to conduct you to it. Come. I bar
a carriage below. You must depart
before the break of dawn."
The knife dropped from his hand. ;
Instead of using it on the girl be kiss- ,
ed her and followed me down to the
carriage. Having whispered to the
coachman to drive us to a police sta
tion, I got in beside the emperor. On
arrival at the station I be-koned t a .
policeman, who came to the carriage.
"This is the emperor of the sir," I
said, pressing the policeman's arm by j
way of warning. "Remain here while
I go inside. " I'll be out directly."
I told the sergeant at the desk my
story. We hunted up the address of :
en insane asylum, and in half an Lour,
without even uing the rope weapon 1
had provided, we had hlia under con- .
From the asylum I drove back to j
the house from which I had removed
the patient. Though it was late, 1
knew the young lady would be wait
ing for a report of what had happen
ed. On arrir. 1 I raug the bell and
was admitted by her. She ijuestioned
me easterly with her eyes. I told her
Ibat the young man was where he
would be safe from himself and could
i:ot injure othrs. Then 1 asked her ,
to explain matters. '
"He is my brother," she said. "Cn- j
fortunately he has sufficient means to 1
indulge in aviation. His ambition has ;
been to sail higher iu the air than any
one else. East Saturday be broke the '
record, but in touching ground lie !
struck a telegraph pole, which broke
his machine and injured him severely. '
Within lite past few days he has acted
so strangely that the servants lecanie
afraid of him. and all left us in a .
body yesterday. Tonight, or, rather,
last night, he became violent. I at
tempted to call up my brot tier iu law,
John CJoodiug, but somehow got you !
by mistake at least you heard me." j
After locking the bolide I escorted .
Miss Ethel Houghton to the home of'
her brother-in-law, awakened the fam
ily, and she remained thre for the
night. The pest day I called upon le-r
to assme myself Tiuit she p.-ul not suf
fereil from her distressing experience, ;
but found that the reaction bad kept (
her In bed.
Th; rest of this story Is not to b" '
told except so far as It coneerus fhe
jotuig aviator. He recovered within :
a brief period, but was persuaded by
his sister to let aviation alone. She
had had enough of it, nnd her brother
under-dood that It would be Impos''!
f!' for him to indulge In It without!
gt-.-at dliirc-'-.s to her. tonr n'-thlng o
I he prob.biliy of it undermining her
As (o that p.'irt of t'e story which
I Pave s'd ii rot to l told. I will ;
pimply say t'ift I o .-. e the gr-'at lisp i
file'?-: Mid success of my IIT - to tint
w! ' h I f Tially d -crie l a party tel
iviar. 18 in American
, ... .1 . .. il .. -V fliei .
cm. s!:;"- i :.:ji ,: ii !"i!'ler ill III'
"old s-.'j:i." born: dre.-J K.ri
IffO.i fleneral Sehuyie. 2 inii.Iitcri.
frrarid--' :i of Mexai.der llmnllt :,
and Vetera" '..' !h" Meti'-na and
cliil jv;ir. ;:'-d: b-ru lS"i.
And Your body
Viil Serve You
easily digested and quick
ly converted into strength
"There's a Reason"
I ''.I-turn Cf.t ;: U,iv..xuy . Ltd.,
liattle f'reck. Mir b.
ar bvkcaa r. an ITU
rjJHE sweet unreasonableness that a
man found so delightful during
courtship Is rather apt to seem spiteful
City the rude man. He probably
thinks lie is being witty.
The girl with the sharp tongue nsn
ally pays her own way to the matinee.
Think of the delicious fried chicken
that never was In order that there
might be a cold storage egg.
The bachelor uncle who Is left to
take care of the baby can't see any
great harm In race suicide.
A man at a bargain counter ts as
much out of place as a powder puff
at the ringside.
You can tell a lot of thing about a
man by the way he conducts himself
Iu a crowd.
The world ts but a fleeting show pre
sented lu order tbut each player n.y
make a play for the star part.
The put la gone beyond rwralL
Fur tn advance tha future l.
We hava the praaent ; that la all.
So !t us araf It r tt fltaa.
Enjoy It aa a go alor.c
Ati'i crowd It with t. thlras that pay.
Mix In a. ahara of mirth and or
And maka the itiuM of each today.
We can but dwl! upon the pnat.
And of tha future wa can dream,
litjt to the praent. hard and fast.
V.'a can aptly our pounda ot H'm
rl make It count aa l wn tte line
It pftes. lairlna naunt.t bhtnl
Save recurda that fur years will ehlne
Or be a mlllMune on the mind.
If there to aoythtr.s In Ufa
Worth llvine It la now and here.
Fo lit ua rnLnula In tl.a atr.fe
And make rf each a banner year.
No uk to think how Uilnaa would hum
Could we live yepttrday once niore
Or ilnn tor days that are to come.
A brilliant and enchanted acore.
This hour, thla moment, la ttie on
In which w live anil move, and thine.
Admire the rainbow or the ai:n.
Enjoy the things we eat and drink.
Bo till It up. and fill It MrX
With word and smite end piny and act.
We live It once tn pasalnff by.
So let us live It for a. fact.
-I wonder why bis bead is so eaally
"That is easily seen."
Terhaps you can explain it
"I can. It swings on the pI?ot of
selfishness and In always freely lubri
cated with vanity and self conceit."
Kept It Dark.
"lie eared a whole ship load from
drowning years ago, and no threat fuss
whs made about It."
"lie ls a hero of fhe old school."
"What ls the difference 7
"He doesn't t arry a press sjent."
Length of Time.
"Do you uiauage to koep a domestic?
"Oh. no: not long."
"About bow ionj7
"Generally lonjr enough to sea bow
she does ber balr on Sunday."
"Yes. It doesn't hurt yoa any, ooes
"Man. It Is such hard worlc that It
taLes all the life out of me."
"What is It, John 7
"The bill for your new hat is an eut
ra'e." "Oh. never mind the bill,
at the batl''
"Why i" Mars
railed the god ot
mars things, I
If u ".'
f c- 7.,
Something to Judge By.
"They s.iy In- isn't very bright."
"I wouiua t any tin'."
"V. b.;t i yoiir opIuionV
"Wtll, when ,t ;etK on a Jury tiis
lawyer. lire careful not to object to
Hi Only We.
"Sfvr b-en across the o'en?"
" n "
"Y ci ou?ht to take fhe trip."
"How U tbe t ima.Iinf?"
Squaring the Circle.
"ITovr jou rominj o'd m-iu?"
"M-iklu-r lhr-e tirpL-ir. a day."
"Tbut uust be wb.it i roui.dirij you
Ik Hi' -. iT.'JIi.' i t'
Tl i v-.ri tl.at r.'. in L .t terroitlc
I 'j iC.i i frir.'l 'f mar,
.rir. Lwriv a 'el v'i j II li-.a, it.ey aay,
Yo a-" t ! .',-.- ,--. v iv. ny.
At you f -("jKT.tiy bf ais? Iio
joi have tb.-.t aonoy na ibklinic In
you Hit'-H? Io h your touga an
r.ov vo'i at i.ifcbt and do you ra!t
i.ii:"ir in tn? KorteDK? Io you
v.s.'-jt t.-Wi. T ? If so. take rhamber
''m i f'o..i.h ji;ii,edv and you will be
JplcaotJ. bold by ail druggists.