Newspaper Page Text
Published Tm.l7y end WmWj at iSI
eeond twaut. Rock Island. IU- tEn
irl at ta potofflc aa aecondlavaa
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Daily. 10 centa per week.
Peetty. f 1 per year In advance.
All communications ot argTjment.ttre
haractw, political or religious, mast .
are real name attached for publlca-
Ion. No eocn artlclea will be printed
-er fictitious slgrjatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
owmahlp In Rock Island connty.
Laugh and grow fat, and you will
ind the laugh on you.
. . . , . - -
It. is seldom the chronic kicker who ;
;ets there with both feet.
Advocates of international
ihould not forget that the
imusement of many Bta'csmen
;aring for war.
is pre- .
Great Britain's revenues are T;Ow
iS2,f0n,0or in excess of expenditures,
ut John liull will find something els
x worry about.
They tell us from Washington that
resident Taft hes sat down on the
r, ...oncparv. and it Is hofed he ;
ia f at down good and hard.
. , , !
. ... - j
The commission plan of municipal j
government was the subject of lauda- !
aou in the United States senate by ;
Senator Young of ls Moines yester-1
Sav. which is another evidence that;
Rock Island manat.es to fare with the
best acts passing aor.s.
S'-nator Root has a bill providing for
the election of United States senators
by a plurality vote of the legislature
after the exniiation of a certain time.
If the constitution is to be changed,
why not chance it ri-ht and elect them
by a plurality vote of the je-uple?
Canada seems to haveVjjanped Us
attitude toward the negro since u, '
days of the -underground railway," j
when thp fugitive slave was given a j
warm welcome and a safe refuse from
pursuit. Nowadays tli'-y are talking in
Canada about taxing negro immigrants ,
J.00 apiece. .
Tom 1. Johnson. Cleveland's mode!
mayor, is ie:id. He was the pc-ople's
champion. All that he had he vave for
them and for their canst effort, loil
that wa3 tireless and unremitting, per
sonal fortune, and linaliy his life, all
went for the advancement of tbir
welfare. No sacrifice was too ureat. even
to the undermining of his hcal'J;; all
went cheerfully fur the public weal.
Few men were so beloved by those who
best knew him. and when the tluv?
came for him to lay down bis burden.
l;e did it with the smile of resignation.
Surely, after life's fitful fever, l,j sleeps j
welL He was a rare man
A Bblning light in the lield of new?
pirper Journalism went out yesterday
veteran managing; editor of the Chicago
Record-Herald. Mr. 'McAuliff w.is be- '
loved and admired, not only by the
members of bis own staff, but by the
profession wherever he was known. :
His calling was his life. He pave to it 1
his mind, bis heart, his soul. His'
sense of pride, no le3 than his sense
of news value, was show n in every de-
rartment of the great paper, which Lf
built each day. It bore the stamp of ;
his character, and the method with
which he did tilings was always ap
parent. He loved achievement news- :
paper achievement and McAuliff was j
the first to demonstrate news- !
paper enterprise in the
Tuesday, April 11, 1911. j
of the horseless conveyance IS ! Andrew Sofe to Arthur E. Williams, I
j eans ago. Uist fall he planned tho J lot 4, block 1, Oak Grove addition,1
Brookins aerial flight from Chicago tolsou'h Rock Island. $3:.0. j
Springfield. He developed talent and ' John Kane to Matt Simmons, lot 5, i
genius. He introduced McCutcheon, bloek 141. Andalusia. $20. !
and Ade, and Wellraan and Curtis to j Kichard Ely to D. T. Pinneo, lot 10,
the world. Mechanically and artistic-1 block 10. old tow n. Cordova. j
ally the Record Herald has always been ! Charles Filbert to William Filbert. I
accepted as a model, and it was due to
the genius and pains cf McAuliff that
it wa.-; made so. Mr. McAuliff was
obliged to retire from active work last
December because of failing health,
but was retained In an advisory ca
pacity on the editorial staff of the
Record-Herald. Henry Barrett Cham-
herlln. a longtime attache of the paper
mi rTiin '? frier! rf 1 ?i H.-l.'l riitff 1
succeeding to the managing editorship.
The Protective ProrMtganda.
Ready-made editorials and communi-
i,ot:rc rf nnnnrm.ititi nn'irln o r-rt th t
latest resorts of the interests opposed
to Canadian reciprocity. Tne Ameri
can Protective Tarirr league of New
York is particularly aggressive in its
efforts to influence the press of the
country against the proposition. Its
latest scheme is to have people sign;
postcards in order to deluge congress-1
men with "indignant protests- against j
the confirmation of the Canadian agree- j
Just because some one sends you a i
postcard with a perfectly good stamp on
it and asks you to sign and forward it, j
is no reason why you should do so. j
If you receive anything bearing the j
Imprint of the American Protective j
Tariff league, the best thing you can i
do with it is to heave it into the waste
The editors of the country are too
well Informed to be gulled In any such
way and the honest and substantia!
newspapers, of this country have theif
own poller as reg&rda Che tariff and
Lher public 4&etian too icelljlid
to be disturbed by hysterical appeals
from men and industries -whose sole
object is their own selfish advantage.
The 31onroe Doctrine.
Ex-Secretary ot State John W. Fos
ter, in a timely Ftatement, divests the
Monroe doctrine of a lot of Roosevelt
ian trimmings. It means that European
nations are to mind their own usi-noce-
Tint that tp are to mind eve-
body,s buBmS8 theirs included. For.fts
-ta poster nuts it. the Monroe
I doctrine "only prohibits European gov
'ernments from appropriating territory
or seekine to control the form of gov
ernmtnt" of American states. Under
it they have a perfect right to "inter
fere to protect the interest of their
Tfct followine is an accurate state
ment of what the famous Monroe doc
trine is not: "The Monroe doctrine
dots not assume for the United States
1 - V Internal
i any mission to rtijuiaie im.."--affairs
cf American states, and we are
; ur.der no obligation to European gov-
I mctrai' lawlessness Of
i iiiiiri; i .1 , w . . , l . . .
0:jawrv there. At present we have
rroblems enough cf our own. without
I feekinsr to regulate the disorders of
our neighbors. Our wisest course dur-i
ing the present troubles in Mexico is to j
enforce our neutrality laws with strict
impartiality and leave the people of
that country to settle their internal af
fairs in their own time and way."
Sorry Day for llosses.
Among the most conspicuous bosses
of the last 20 years were Bob Davis of
I . XT t
Af-w jersey ana ueorse xi. i i
Ohio. Davis ruled in Jersey City ana ;
. i..- ..if
i,ox in V-iucmuau. vji.-.- iomu uu..
a democrat and the other carried on j
operations under the republican stand-1
ur.e caiitu miueii i
nrd. Both were conspicuous in tne
government of their respective states
frequently exerting a lare influence in
itfie conauci oi siaie auairo. ami uwlu ;
i ligurc-d in national politics. The aid of :
j Cox. in particular, was sought by those ;
iwho desired to control the action of,
the Ohio delegates. i
Davis is dead, and Hudson county.
v.hich was his domain while he lived, is I
tivinc to recovt r SlOQ.'idO of public j
fur.rls. v.hich sun-., it appears, was ad
vanced to him from time to time.
Cox appears to have been less scru
pulous. There has been a practice in
Cincinnati, not unknown elsewhere, of
;c.ic.;t ing pi,lic funds in favored;
,,anks for a consideration to be paid j
f ..... offioiaIs havine the nower to
make the deposits, t or many years
this has been a fruitful source of graft.
low vaiuaijie tho privilege is regarded
may r,P inferred from a perusal of the
, ! Carr.C'Rie Trust company investigation;
I and how the manipulation of New i ork
I citv funds was made to bolster up that i
Cox temporarily lest bis grip and the
conseuuence was that a prosecuting of
ficer and a judge not afraid to prose
cute him came into activity concurrent
ly. After issuing the usual declaration
of innocence and making the usual
charge that he was iLc victim of po-!
litical persecution. Cox' promptly hired i
the best lawyers he could get and pro- j
cf eded to resort to all kinds of cjuib- j
bling ?nd technicalities to stave mat-
(efs off th(1 jndge Nho Lad takfn
i up iLe case should no longer be sit
,tl:.v:. H' was indicted by the grand
jiiiy .'or receiving part of the money
a;(i the banks in return for riepos
j i's ami al.io for perjury for having de
t:i d tha' be ever received any of this
ji o::ey. He was released on bail and
a few (lays ago went into hiding so j
'that he could not be arrested upon the i
perjury indictment. '
Truly the old-time bosses are having j
a perry time of it. Where primary i
laws have not driven them into exile.
prison doors yawn for them.
COURT HOUSE RECORD
Real Estate Transfers.
Frederick Osborne to Benjamin B.
Osborne, tract in sections 21 and "S.
township IS, range 2 east, $2,5o0.
part northeast quarter, southeast quar-1
ter. section 4, township IS, range 2 j
William Filbert to Oliver Eckstrom,
part southwest quarter, southeast
J quarter, section 4, township 18, range
i 2 east. IG.OGO.
Ouyer. hlte & Pope to Farist
(Green, lot 14, block 1S4, East Moline,
Phoebe Harro'.d to Robert Bennett,
Jr., lot 2S, Mixter's subdivision, out-
! lot 24, Rock Island, $1.
E. H. iuyer to Henry H. Doering.
lot 3, block C. Buford & Guyer s addi-
John J. Pryce to Richard M. Pryce,
tract in sections 34 and 35, township '
17. range 1 west, $2,000. j
C. L. and L. O. Swanson to Hilda M. j
Swanson. lot 16. block 2, Mosenfelder's j
Pi3ce, Rock Island, $1. !
JUBB e x lo w iiam r. toiberg,
cast half, northeast quarter, section 24, j
w- 110,000. i
E- H- Guyer to Minnie Showater, lot i
9- V.ocli 10, Buford & Guyer s addition, j
Is.and. J2S5. 1
Charles E. Kneberg to Gust Dralle, j
!ot - block 15T, East Moline, $760.
Arch For to Noah E. Bowser, tract j
in Southeast ox" tourth section, 32-17!
5w- S'.OO- V-v j
Anna E. Foster to ArcL" Foster, tract '
in Southeast one-fourth stYion, 32-17
S. $0. ' j
James Watklnson to Henry V. Plain- j
beck and C. A. Bergiund, lot 19. block ;
73, City of East Moline, $300. x I
E. H. Guyer to Charles Lv Ijnd.lolm, j
lots 2, 30 and 16. block 61 and S3, 'city ,
cl Jast Moline, $630.
THE ROCK ISLiAXD ARGUS, TUESDAY,
WHY COST IS HIGH
Woman Expert Says Living Is
Expensive Because of the
Craze for Variety.
LUXURY BOOSTS THE BILLS
Modern Improvements, Elaborate
Entertainment and Distaste
for Monotony Figure.
To a craze for variety, coupled with
a dread of monotony, and to modern
innovations Mrs. Ellen H. Richards,
an instructor ia chemistry at the Mas
sachusetts Institute of Technology,
lays the blame for the high tost of
living. Her observations are made in
answer to the question, "Does the in
creased cost of living mark a social
"When I went to housekeeping thirty-five
years ago," she says, "on the.
same spot and under the same general
conditions as now, our running ex
penses were about one-half as much.
From -what direction has the Increase
come? The snowplow no longer
cleans our sidewalks. It must be
shoveled to the gutter. The postman
comes five times a day instead of
twice. The telephone till not only
costs $G0 a year, but doubles the gro
cer's delivery, and hence his charges
for it It certainly doubles the steps
taken and the stairs ascended by some
"Hardwood floors mean twice the
Tj-ork of carpets.
The cost of guests is
vu hoQiiea hk food wo used
uuuuc, xv L4 ...v. .... .. - .
to set before them was not pood ana
sufficient, but because we have not the
moral courage to give simpler enter
tainment. tte same cost, but we pay SO cents for
j0e fream msteaa or cents, aim
naVe six courses instead of three, with
tne corresponding number of dishes to
handle and double time to serve and
prepare and clear away.
"The more elaborate service the
greater number of things is in one
sense a social advance, as it is sup-
nosed to mean a gain in standing.
"A perfect craze for variety has tak
en possession of the world. Nothing
i so much dreaded as monotony. This
means a restless dissatisfaction with
life. The daily work is not monotony
eo long as one does not wish to do
LIVING EXl'KXSKS UOI I1I.KO.
"It Is this craving for variety which
has doubled the living expenses of
most families. We all go in town two
or three times a day. We all go to
moving picture shows, to theaters, con-
rts. We eo motoring instead of
ouietlv reading, rearranging the pic-
tures or the furniture, mending the
curtains or the broken china. As for
sewing and carpentering, who does it?
"Is it because of the comic supple
ment that the man who sets up bis
own stove or hoes his own garden is
"What do we gain by it?
valuable to man's real advance? Is
society or the individual wiser in what
counts or more learned, happier, better
in any way? Does not each dollar in
excess mean a greater strain oa some
nerve, a greater chance of mental col
lapse? "What is the poor American to-do in
his present fever and with his present
nerves, but with fivefold greater pow
ers placed in his hands and fivefold
greater attention and capacity demand
ed for their control? If sixty years
ago the free forces and rushing ad
vance of the republic urgently needed
the regulation of a powerful and learn
ed conservative body, who can over-
f estimate the necessity for such service
I "L.lfe is a confused rush for us. We
! do not stop to take account of stock
! and balance accounts. The various tin-
noticed causes of greater expenditure
! are be ferreted out and exposed, a
' closer balance between time and mon-
j e-v an1 results found.
wnat snouia oe toaay tne guiding
principle of large hearted and intelli
gent women in the use of personal and
family income? Do we believe that it
must lead between asceticism and lux
ury? Luxury (everything not neces
sary to full efficiency) is the besetting
modern danger, physical, mental and
"The determining principle in fixing
the standard of life, then, should be the
discovery of the minimum needed to
maintain full efficiency."
Tr 1,200 Years Old.
The German village of Remborn has
a linden tree which is said to be more
than 1,200 years old.
Will pay for an elegant fiano
if you Join our club and en
title you to many exceptional
advantages and privileges as a
member. If you can't call to
day write or telephone for par
ticulars. Gus A. Jen eke
1620 Seronl Avenue
"He makes me to lie down ia
s me beside the still waters."
Fve nver een bin but looked it me
with grave content.
Good-naturedly and cheerfully, whichever
way 1 went:
Though it were bleak and bare and brown.
it shouldered to the sky
And looked at rne In auiet peace when I
went slowly by ;
But any building, be It house, or templed
place, or mart.
, Will face a man with chilling brows-that
set him Car apart.
I've never seen a country road that did not
have the time
To loaf beside the forests where the .
blossomed vines would climb
To coax me softly, lazily, to rest with It
And see the comfort It could find in
creeping rr.lie on mile :
But city streets they blare at you and will
not let you stay:
They hustle you unceasingly and drive your
Tve never seen the aky that shields the
countryside at night
An ebon velvet drapery looped up witl-
gems of light
That did not seem to bend to me all
friendlywise and bless
And pour a balm of comfort on my heart In
But when the city has Its night the glare
beats In your eye.
And look whatever way you will you cannot
ee the sky.
I've never seen a country road, or brook.
or hill, or tree.
That did not have a kindly word to speak
or sing to me :
They never crowd us to one side, they never
sneer nor frown.
Nor view us strangerwise as do the streets
and walls of town:
And so sometimes I think that this msy be
the hidden plan
To show us how much better God could make
the world than man.
The Argus Daily Short Story
Matching for a Dofr By F. A. lYIitchel.
Copyrighted. 1911, by Associated Liter try Tress.
A boy of seven on being told to
write a story about a dog wrote it as
I love Siiep, and Shep loves me.
That was all there was of the com
position. Shep was a collie dog, and a very in
telligent one. The only other case I
have ever known of equal love be
tween a human being and a brute was
betweeu my pointer Hex and myself.
I used Rex for bunting woodcock.
How I did love that dog, and how he
did love me: Why in tbe world be
couldn't speak to me I don't know.
He could talk with bis eyek though
not with his tongue. Many a con
versation I have had with bim. I
speaking with iuy voice, be with his
Rex was stolon from me, and I didn't
see him again for several years.
One October I was hunting in aa
other fieid. I Lad possessed other dogs
"CJXI. HIM, PLEASt'
than Rex, but did cot get attached to
any of them, and often would hunt
without one. This was the case with
me on this autumn morning. As I
stalked through a wood, kicking up
t . . .
i dead leaves-a Xavonte amusement oi
mine-I heard some animal bounding
i toward me, and through the tushes
V. . . . . n Arrm 1 PU,
j ognized Rex at once. He ran to me,
i put his fore paws on my shoulder, and
If ever a dog cried for joy he did. As
for me. I put my arms around his neck,
and Tm not sure but my eyes. too.
i were wet.
The next thing I was conscious of
was looking at a very pretty girl with
a big hat on her head, a pair of caunt-
APRIL 11, 1911.
green pastures ; he leadeth
Psalm xxiii, 2.
W. O. CSapmn.l
lets on her hands and a whip such as
ladies use wlien walking out with a
dfg. 1 lifted Rex's paws from my
shoulders and my bat from m." head.
There was tire in the girl's eye which
my deference did not allay.
"What's the matter with my dog?"
6he snapped, laying great stress on the
"Yes. my dog. Whose else should it
What a laugh c?im out of that pret
ty throat! It wasn't really a laugh.
1 nt an expression of anger, contempt,
irory, rlerislon. I confess I was a bit
miffed by it.
"You say the dog is yours," I said,
trying to speak pleasantly. "If he is
yours be will follow his mistress. Call
"JacU! Come here. Jack! Do you
l;ex looked at her and wagged his
tail, but did not more.
"You don't even know the dog's
name." I said. Then, moving away, I
celled, "Come. Rex." and he bounded
after me. Rut I noticed that be kept
looking back nt his mistress. After
movins some twenty paces I stopped.
If ever there was a mad girl that
"How dare you try to steal my dog?"
she snapped viciously.
"Steal your dog? I don't need to
steal vour doer. He knows his master
and follows him.
"Jack! Come here." She stamped
her little foot in a Tain attempt to
"Let me have your whip," I said.
"I'll see if I can drive him back to
I took the whip from her hand and.
giving the dog a cut, ordered him
away from me. ne got down on the
ground and cringed and whined, bnt
he wouldn't leave me. The girl was
beside herself with anger and disap
pointment It was plain that she loved
him as well as I did.
"Pardon me," I 6flid to her. 1
should have explained to yon that
this dog once belonged to me. I lost
him, and he now appears to be your
property. He's the nearest to a hu
man being of any brute I ver knew."
"He Isn't a brote; he's a human ani-
i "Ana snoaiu oe ircowu "
affections should not be
. au fa
. affwtlons eUber.-
I should be permitted to dwell
i . lulst
i 1 1 ii i tier -
ft thrust that didn't salt
mean." fhe said, "that he
, one who ,OTes
"Very brightly turned, but woman's
logic a conclusion based on no prem
ises. It seems to me this is a trian
She opened ber eyes, as if wonder
ing what that could be.
"Yon love the dog; I love the dog.
The dos loves you and loves me. One
leg of the triangle is missing."
"Which leg? What-leg?"
"The one between you and me.
There it love between you and the
dog and love between me and the dog.
but none whatever between you and
"I should think not!
I repressed a smile. "WelU I said,
"what are we going to do about It?"
"I bought Jack Jack. I say. ne Is
not Rex. as you call him. at alL I
bought Jack for $10, and he's my
"I didn't get the $10."
"That's nothing to me.
"I'll match you for him."
Now, while by matching hor for the
dog I meant to play at beads and
tails with a coin, she was so pretty, so
feminine in her bursts of Impotent
anger, that In my heart I intended to
convey the impression that I wouldn't
mind settling the ownership of the
dog by a union of claimants.
"What do you mean by matching for
him?" 6he asked.
I took two coins from my pocket and
gave her one. laid the other covered on
the back of my hand and asked her to
show one side of the coin I had given
her. She showed me heads." I un
covered my coin, and it was "tails."
"The dog is mine," I said.
Again she bristled.
"Tou were to match me and failed,"
"Well. I declarer
She could not evidently find words to
express her horror and contempt at
my taking such an advantage of her.
She tossed the coin at me viciously,
but I caught it.
"That method of deciding the matter
between us doesn't seem to please
"I should say not. Besides, there's
nothing to decide. The dog belongs to
"Rut how are you to prevent his go
ing home with me? You saw that I
couldn't drive him away."
This was a stumper. She made no
reply. She was evidently trying to
think of a way out of it.
"You will tire yourself standing," I
said. "Won't you be seated on this
"Xo. I thank you."
"Then you will pardon me for sitting
while you stand. I'm very tired, ana I
see no way of coming to an agree
I sat down, took a pipe from my
pocket and proceeded to fill it, asking
if she would mind my smoKing. &ne
did not reply, and 6lnce silence gives
consent I lit the pipe.
"I suppose," she said presently, "I'll
have to nay you for the dog. It's very
mean of you. but"
"I don't wish to sell him."
"Then what in the world are we go
ing to do?"
"I think we'd better have a confer
ence." "We seem to be having one, a very
long and disagreeable one."
"If you will sit down and talk rea
sonnblv I believe we can come to a
She looked a long while nt the log
and finally sat down on its other end.
"Now," I said, puffing a cloud, "what
do you propose?"
"What do you propose?"
"I proposed a match, but you didn't
appear to like that way."
"It's perfectly absurd."
"Nevertheless I'm quite resolved
that it shall be settled by that plan."
She thought for some time while I
read what she was thinking in the
expression of her face. By matching
she would have an equal chance ot
winning the dog. Ry refusing she
would surely lose him, for he would go
with me. 1 got out the coins again.
"I match you this time," 1 -said.
"Rest two in three."
She sat looking straight ahead of
her, not deigning to notice the coin I
had laid out on the log for her. Glanc
ing at it, I saw "heads" was up. I
cried "tails!" Then, examining her
coin and mine. I told her she had won
on the first trial. This induced her
to take some interest in the proceed
ings. I took enre that she should win
again and told her the dog was her
"Rut how am I to get him away
from you?" she said in a more pleas
ant but puzzled tone.
"I don't see how you can," I replied,
"unless I po with you."
"That's the plan," she said, much
pleased. "You go with me, and I'll
chain bim to his kennel."
"Are you sure you won't chain ne
It certainly was ridiculous, for she
had me chained already, but I wasn't
locked for a year afterward, wben my
matching plan, as I really intended it.
was carried out and the dog passed
Into our united possession. All of
which was nice for the dog. nice for
the girl and lastly delightful for me. I
often twit my wife upon her stupidity
in not having understood my double
meaning on our first meeting, where
upon she says she saw through the
And I'm not quite sure but she did.
April 1 1 in American
173i Edward Everett, orator and
statesman, born; died 1SC5.
1SC1 South Carolina Confederates de
marded the surrender of Fort Sum
ter. Charleston harbor, by the Unit
ed States garrison.
1002 Oeneral Wade nampton. distin
guished Confederate cavalry offl
. cer. died: born ISIS.
You may need a little extra money.
If so see- us before going elsewhere.
WE LOAN WITHOUT SECURITY.
If vou have a steady position. Also
on furniture, pianos, horses etc,
CITIZENS LOAN COMPANY
Room 6, McKlnnie bldg. Rhone east
1187. 15th et. and 4th ave. iloline.
9r vacaa rt.'eitja "'
nnHB trouble with some of our strug
gling fellow creatures is they are
always trying to get a square deal for
themselves while being utterly indif
ferent about the other fellow.
Most of us spend so much of our
time undoing today the thlugs that we
did yesterday that we get a mental
When art gets a black eye a strenu
ous application of beefsteak to the
stomach helps a lot.
Knocking Is the easiest trade known
to modern man.
If you are troubled with self con
celt acquire a few relatives by mar
riage. There are some things that are too
true to be very good.
Any place will do If there Is room
enough In It to strive for a better one.
The matt la very serious when wo
men won't speak of each other.
Be sure that you are going to get
ahead, then make it right.
Everybody has a special torand guar
anteed to work every time of the per
fectly harmless kind of 11a.
Them Is little satisfaction in baiting
the man who won't roar back.
"Did the com
"Yes; with Bhoo
Getting Thorn Mixed.
"Who is that insignificant looking
little man walking around the store
as though he were afraid of every
body?" "That is the proprietor."
"The owner indeed. I had that large
man with tho massive brow and the
overload of dignity picked as the
"He Is the floorwalker."
"Is the owner afraid that the floor
walker will discharge him?"
"Not exactly, but he doesn't want to
take any chances."
"Can your new maid cook?"
"Yes. but she lacks Judgment."
"How la that?"
"She cooks all the salt"
"Cooks all the salt?"
"Yes: puts It In the soup, you knew,
and seems to think thnt the potatoen
don't need any cooking."
Proof of Superiority.
"That was a beautiful lecture you
."Did you like It?"
"Yes, but I couldn't understand It."
"That is the 1eaut.v of It. If you
could have you wouldn't have regard
ed mo ns any smarter than you are."
Two of a Kind.
"Did you enjoy yourself in Europe
"I didn't know you were over. I
was just making a bluff."
"I wasn't. So was I."
He Knew It.
"Is there any money In this business
that you are trying to promote?"
"Thnre certainly 1h."
"How d' you know?"
"Why, I myself put in a lot."
"no stole a kiss."
"What did be get?"
"Banished for a week."
"Lucky man! Mot;t of us get a life
Thr dictionary has a
Of worflw 1 do not know.
Ami, thoui;i it Is ri"t utron on tjK
Its pag" HnrnlnK Mk.w.
Tou f.ti. the author rnw a lot
Ah pane on juhc you turn.
For, though it diws.i t run to plot.
It Btlil hua wor-i t' burn.
I don't know wh r ?ver found
Hcj many word. A3 that
T'r.ls.i by miarc.!il.TK mo? t profound
Or taUir.K throi.Kh I. is hat.
lit couldn't ,-M. them un. I know,
U.y chatf.r.if her an'l thf-re
To i;fop a they rome and go
Am be had time to para.
II couldn't find th m in a book.
For authora have to ito
Back to hi h.-avy One to look
For what t!i-y want to know.
Thy didn't p-i from mout'j to mouth.
Vbe common n.an, I aweur.
Would have Ma jawbone KOintf aouth
On many thu.t are thre.
He mao tern up, I'm fre to aay,
An'l slyly allpi.t-d thm trxro.
Who'd krow tfn 1 ff'T'-nf. anyway
Or. for that rr.: t r r, care?
It mav he tiiat r.-.y k ''t U wronjf
Ar.4 that v.-nn not bin p'". '
Eut tr.f-:e U.y tie, nort.e thousanua
flo r-w ti,rr if yo'i ran.
Tour tongue is coated.
Vour breath ia foul.
Headaches come and go.
These symptoms Bhow that your
stomach is the trouble. To remove
the cause is the fU -t thlnr and Cham
berlain's Stomach ar:d Liver Tablets
will do that. Easy to take and moat
affective. Sold by all druggists.