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THE ROCK ISEAKn ARGUS. TUESDAY, JUNE 13, 1911.
FaMcae Tmny and WhUt at i6i
Second (Twan Bock Island. XTL En
tered at the postomee a second-daes
BY TWE J. W. POTTER Ca
TERMS. Dally. I cnu par week.
.Weekly, $1 per year In advance.
All comB unicatlons of arg-nmeatative
character, political or religion, nut
have -real name attached for publica
tion. Mo such articles will tea printed
over fictitious slgnatarea, -
Correspondence solicited from orrery
tovMhlp In Rock Island county.
Tuesday, June 13, 1911.
Back In Mexico City General Made
ro Is uncompromisingly for the old
Sag again and. It is suspected, also
for an appropriation.
New Roosevelt says that he won't
endorse Taft for president in 1912.
That, however, does not indicate that
Mr. Taft will rot be nominated.
If Speaker Adkins expects to keep
the waterways bill off the mam track
during the coming special session he
has his work cut out for him.
To be sure, wool was free in the Wil
son bill, but the Wilson bill had a lot of
things that won't be found in the dem
ocratic tariff legislation of the future
Along with other reforms or pros
pective reforms, at least, the senate of
the United States has concluded to al
low the people to elect the members
of that august body.
Senator Depew, at a dinner in hi?
honor in New York, said of his notable
oratorical gift: "I have received many
compliments on my skill at after-diu-ner
speaking, but the naiveet compli
ment of all came from an upstat?
farmer. 'Senator, said he, 'you might
have typhoid and recover, you mi&bt
have pneumonia and recover, yoj
might have yellow fever and recovcj,
but if you ever got lockjaw you'i
Reports on Vienna's first "tag day,"
which was arranged by a committee
of which the Archduchess M ;ria
Josefa was the head, for the benell'
of ''poor and homeless children," shu
ii w us it gifii surcetb. II;
idea was borrowed from America,"
uys lh: report, "biit instead of th
'tag we used an artificial flo.ver anri
called our collection campaign on
Monday a 'flower festival.' The city
was divided into many districts aaJ
C.500 girl vol an leers were tach arconi
panlcd by a man to carry the her2i,c
of roses offered by them- for saie in
the streets, stores and theatres."
Strange IVinnts in Mexico.
(Jencral Madero was greeted upo:i
his arrival at the City of Mexico by a
poet and an earthquake. Whether the
original crie of his enthusiastic ad
mirer caused the b' ismic disturbance
probably will never be know n, but their
close proximity is suspicious.
We all remember about the strange
portents which Shak'Fa:e says pre
f dec! tile ppsassinuMon rf Caesar. The
"I of J!arch" may be noar for Jla
cYro. Who knows? But if .Madero is
iiot afraid. nobody else nee 1 be. It is
to bo hep d' that his triumphal entry
into the City cf Mexico is the begin- i
ning of better things for the people of cemI compelled to disgorge was but
his country, and that the republic of ! a Email fraction of the customs dut
Mho in the future will realize !hei,LS ot 'bicb it has robbed the gov
ri.ean;s that its ardent frk'nis iiav, : ernn.ent In 15 years. But it still eu
d euriKd for years and will become the J'8 lts tariff protection and its co:)i
Lome of freedom, justice au1 right as bination in restraint of trade, and its
embodied in good' government. J officers have suffered no conviction
If the earthquake shall have been' though some of its employes we'e
piopcrly explained ond the poet prop- i imprisoned as a result of the custom
c:Iv hatigeJ. Madero may enjoy hisfrauds-
triumph to the full measure cf his ca-
jaeity and its meaning.
T!ii Farmer an.ltl. A..tn.
x- i . ' ln I'orto Ilico.
No h ss than S2.0H automooi.'es are' .... T
cv.n, i by the fa. mrrs of this country,! Ch'PPe FalIs' June
ucccrdl:;g to an ollkial of oue of theiJudse John J. Jenkins, who left Porto
larpost motor car companies in the i Rico April 1 last on two months' leave
T'nited States. A majority of these J of absence to recuperate at his north
mai hines I clorg to the grain-grow ing j ern home, died yesterday morning. He
farmers cf the great western asricul-j had been unconscious since Thursday
tur8l states, but it is said that the j noon. The funeral will be held next
tf-iets cf the soil in the east are also Tuesday with the Masonic lodge in
purchasing more automobiles this year charge. He was appointed by Presi
tLau last. I dent Taft to the federal Judgeship of
As a matter of fact, motor vehicles 'Porto Rico in May, 1S10. He worked
of various types are rapidly becoming hard in this new position, and the
almost a nec-essity in the transporta
tion of farm products. For instance,
every canning factcry has many pa
trons who deliver their produce in au
tomobiles. A man largely interested
la the business of preserving vegeta
bles and fruits is quoted as saying:
"One of the chief obstacles the eanner
has always faced in maintainiug a suf
tcitnt output has been his inability to
grew cnoush raw material near enough
; to the factcry to bring it from thefiell.
; prtpare it and get it into the cookers
while fresh and crisp. With farmers
- dependent on horse-drawn wagons for
hauling their products to the canneries
! ttuff would wilt and be useless for can-
xilng pui-posts If grown more than
' three or four miles from the plant. It
, has meant restricted acreage on the
one side or supplementary plants in
scattered centers as the alternative."
! This difficulty Is being very effective
; ly met by the advent of the motor ve-
Jiicle of great capacity. Farm produce
) can be quickly transported to the can
5 keries in an automobile, and now it Is
Mas received la perfect condition
rem CJ stances which were undreamed
a few years sql The growing ra
Bes has been increased many miles,
: rhkfe is not only an advantage to the
nraera of a pre erring plant, but to i
the farmers of the district as It greatly
enhances the value of farm lands. Per
haps this will have the effect of reduc
ing the cost of canned goods; certainly
this should be the case In the nature ot
Truly, the automobile Is fast becom
ing a most useful servant.
A $2000000,000 Export Tear.
Remarkable records will be made In
export trade for the fiscal year which
ends with the present month June,
Ten months' figures for the bureau of
statistics furnish a basis for a rough
calculation of the trade for the year,
and these suggest that the export of
raw cotton will aggregate not far from
$600,000,000; Iron and steel manufac
tures, approximately, $250,000,000;
meat and dairy products, $150,000,000;
breadstuffs, $125,000,000ropper, $100,
000,000; mineral oil, $100,000,000; wood
and manufactures thereof, $90,000,000;
leather and manufactures thereof, orer
$50,000,000; agricultural Implements,
over $40,000,000; tobacco and manufac
tures thereof, over $40,000,000; cotton
manufactures, approximately $40,000,
000, and coal, over $40,000,000 for ex
port. Including that going into the
bunkers of vessels, which will amount
to approximately $20,000,000, making
the coal carried outi of the country
The 10 months' statement of cotton
shows a valuation of $550,000,000,
speaking In round terms, which is
$143,000,000 greater than In the corre
sponding months of 1910, and as the
total for the fiscal year 1910 was $450,-
000,000 in value, an addition to that
sum of the excess already accumulated
in 1911 -would bring the grand total
for the year nearly to the $600,000,000
line. This large value of raw cotton
exported by far the largest total ever
reported is largely due to the high
prices rather than to the large quanti
These large increases, coupled with
less important articles, suggest that
the figures for the exports will cross
the $2,000,000,000 line for the first time
In the history of the export trade.
CONGRESS TO LEARN
WHO DREW UP PRES
ENT SUGAR SCHEDULE
(Continued fron Paire One.
the investigating committee. "The
wickedest trust in the world" is tr.
unenvied title applied to the concern,
bestowed, however, before the iniquity
of the oil and tobacco trusts was set
: forth Q authoritatively by the
has hi;i:n kithi.kss.
Facts of which the public is aware
already show that the sugar trust h-1
been unimaginably cunning and ruth
less In driving competitors out
business, combining properties, fixing
prices, rebating and otherwise enrich
ing its few owners at the expense of
many consumers. It addition tie trut
manipulated congress to its profit 'a
tariff making and carried on a gigantic
ewindle of the government itself is
the collection of these tariff duties c-n
its own sugar. In perpetrating th'8
last iniquity, for which it has ben
punished recently, the trust robb.1
the hand that rocked the cradle of ths
So powerful is this wickedest cf
trusts that as yet it goes scot free.
The government is prosecuting some
of its officers on criminal indictments
in connection wi'h its absorption
of the Pennsylvania Sugar lie
fining company. There also is
pending a suit fcr dissolution of the
The $2,000,000 that it was rt-
JUDGE J. J. JENKINS DEAD
wverworK aii to mciai serving
strain was too great and the climate
PANAMA BONDS IN DEMAND
Bids for Issue of 950.000000 Will
lie Opened Saturday.
Washington, June 13. The gov
ernment's $50,000,000 Panama canal
loan probably will be taken in the
main by small investors. Although
the bids wiil not be opened until
next -Saturday, more than 900 sealed
proposals hare been received at the
treasury department. They came
from all sections of the country and
the loan seems to be well understood
by the public.
THE MOON LAV IS UPHELD
Many Iowa Saloonkeepers Forced Out
Des Moines, Iowa, June 13. The
Iowa supreme court Saturday refused
to reconsider its decision in the Moon
law case, whereby many saloons
throughout the state are forced to so
out of business. The Moon law pro
vides that there shall be but one sa
loon to each 1,000 inhabitants of any
Coronation of King George Like Mardi Gras Festival
By JAMES A. E DC EK. TON.
HE coronation of King George
V. will be the grand Mardi
Gras festival of the century.
It win probably attract more
snobs than any event In the world's
history up to now. Everybody who
wants to appear better than others
because of dollars or birth or show
or other outward accident rather than
by brains and Inner merit will be
there if he can possibly raise the
price. It will be a royal circus, an
imperial show, a stately spectacle of
bunk and pretense. At the very mo
ment Oreat Britain Is putting the
lords out of the real government they
will be on dress parade at this func
tion, one holding the king's crown,
another his shoe, while still another
washes the royal dishes. Well, from
all appearances that la about what
they are good for.
Strangely enough, the whole affair
la In perfect keeping. Inasmuch as
monarchy in England and in most
other countries has become a mere
show. It Is fitting that the coronation
should be the very acme of the hollow
and spectacular. The only figure lack
ing to make the thing perfect Is the
court fool. There has be.- nothing
about fr1 in the press dispatches.
This is surely an oversight, but per
haps there will be so many dukes and
earls present that he will not be
needed, or it may be that tho whole
pageant is such a perfect incarnation
of folly that a court fool would be
superfluous. His attendance would be
like carrying coals to Newcastle.
Then, again. It may be the managers
of the coronation excluded the court
fool to avoid invidious comparisons.
They feared he might appear a wise
man by contrast.
Last Previous Coronation.
Jt has been nine years since Lon
don saw a coronation, Edward TIL
having been crowned In August, 1902.
The date of the event was originally
fixed for June 26, but an illness of tha
king caused it to be postponed. This
year It Is set for June 22. The London
tradesmen. English nobles and Ameri
can toadies are making the most of it
for the reason that it may be long be
fore they witness another one. George
V. Is only forty-six and comes of a long
lived race. His father was much older
when be ascended the throne, which
accounts for the shortness of his reign.
Queen Victoria, the grandmother of
the present king, reigned more than
There are many Englishmen who say
this is the last coronation that will
ever be seen la Great Britain. Evi
dently they think that when the Eng
lish people get through trimming the
peers they will seek the "man higher
up." It is not alone disgust with an
outworn system that prompts these ex
pressions, but there is a personal note
also In evidence. Whatever the rea
son. King George Is not so popular
as either his father or grandmother.
At this distance be seems a fairly
good sort, rather colorless, perhaps,
with virtues of the negative sort, no
vices to speak of and ability of a quiet
kind. His accession to the throne was
followed by all sorts of scandal, one
to the effect that be had a morganatic
marriage with the daughter of an Eng
lish admiral and another charging him
with drinking to excess. Both stories
have been denied by his friends, one
editor having been imprisoned for pub
lishing the story of the morganatic
marriage. As for the drinking stories,
these are generally discredited. In
fact, the prevailing opinion nowadays
in that the king is a model young
man who stays home nights and is
a rather humdrum, middle class In
dividual who would make a typical
English squire. Tossibly these tales
of his correct behavior account for
the fact tbnt he is not so popular as
bis father, conventionality not being
considered quire the thing among the
British aristocracy. Of course, since
the advent of George V. the toadies of
two hemispheres have vigorously de
nied his unpopularity, but what else
would you expect of a toady?
A Great Splurge.
Anyway, they are to make a great
splurge over his coronation. The pro
spective number of American dollars In
attendance-is creating Joy among the
London tradesmen, hotel keepers and
owners of window ledges and side
walk space along the line of march-
It will be a great display of form, mil
linery snd moth eaten titles. As a
THE HERRIAM WEBSTER?
Became ? HJf CEEA-
TION. oovertn every
field ot the world's thonght, ,
motion and cottar. Turn only
sew unabridfed dictionary ia
Because defines orw 400,000
Worda 1 mon tbn ver
before appeared between two
oovera. m too Pngmm, Oooo XI-
?1 P.f.ntj it 1m tha emir dinrWvary
mm W .11, uw ' 1 m, 1. 1 rwi
page. A Stroke ot Genius."
Recants it is aa encyclopedia fax
a ainale voiame.
Bersns aeoeptsd by the
Courts. Schools and
Frea as the omo muprcxae au
thority. Recanse n who knows Wtmm
. Baeeemm. Let us tell
you shoot this new
warn tm tnf
C ft C HEXHAM CO.,
social event ft win be quite the swell
est function ever, but Its political im
portance will be a cipher with the rim
The dresses to be worn are prescrib
ed by rule. Dukes and duchesses will
wear one sort of regalia, barons and
baronesses something else, the common
or garden variety of gentlemen and
ladles still another getup. Byen the
cofonets to be donned by the nobles at
the same moment the king is crowned
are all fixed to the fraction of an inch.
High dignitaries of England have sat
in solemn state on this momentous
question and have handed down a de
cision from which there Is no appeal.
These coronets are to be made of sil
ver with no jewels. The 'official de
scription of them is as follows:
"The coronet of a baron to have on
the circle or rim six silver balls at
"The coronet of a viscount to have
on the circle sixteen silver balls.
"The coronet cf an earl to have on
the circle elgJN: 6llver balls, raised
upon points with gold strawberry
leaves between the points. I
The Argus Daily Short Story
Who Kissed Me?
Copyrighted. 1911, by
The gun burst, and where was I?
It was the morning of a celebra
tion, and I was ordered out with four
guns of the battery to fire a national
salute. I pulled the lanyard which
fired the twentieth shot. There was
an explosion, not especially in front of
the gun, but all over, and I was lying
on my back unconscious.
Tbe next thing I knew I felt a soft
bed under me. but I couldn't see any
thing. My eyes were bandaged. I re
membered tbe salute and the explo
sion. It occurred to me that I bad
lost my eyesight. I asked if any one
was in tbe room, and a man's voice
answered. He told me that the sur
geon attending me bad ordered that no
light should, for a few days at least,
be permlttedto enter my eyes. I was
In a bouse where I had been carried
after tbe accident. I was to be taken
home that afternoon. The man as
sured me that I was not much hurt
and my eyes would come out all tight.
My informant went out soon after
this, leaving me alone. I did not feel
much pleased over what had hap-
"i m m stb est cab onrtk"
pened Indeed, I was pretty low spir
ited.. I lay brooding over tbe matter,
not so sura that my sight had not been
destroyed, when suddenly I felt two
lips pressed against mine. It did not
occur to me at once to reach for the
person wbo kissed me, and when I
did I was too late A figure clad in
woman's apparel slipped through my
It was very nice of whoever had
kissed me, even if it were taking
"The coronet? of a marquis tb Bare
on the circle four gold strawberry
leaves and four silver balls alter
nately, the latter a little raised on
points above the rim.
"The coronet of a duke to have on the
circle eight gold strawberry leaves.?'
The American Coronet.
No headgear is stipulated for our
American aristocrats who will be In
attendance, but If it Is not out of place
I would suggest that eleven large dol
lar signs be placed about the rim. To
be in keeping these should be quite the
most gorgeous things In sight. Never
mind. Even If our millionaires cannot
wear coronets, a number of their
daughters can. These titles cost
money, but no smart set family Is
quite "It" without them. The fact
that certain Inane and shopworn
sneclmens of dukes, earls and vis
counts have to be taken along with
the coronets Is a drawback, of course,
but even titles to real estate fre
quently have incumbrances, so why
(Continued on Page Nine.)
By Philip Quentin.
Associated Literary Press.
an advantage of a blind man. It cer
tainly turned the current of my
thoughts into a pleasanter channel. I
called, asking wbo was In tbe room,
but received no answer. Tbe person
must have gone out very softly, for I
could not hear tbe slightest sound. I
lay wondering what woman had taken
sufficient interest in me to kiss me.
Was It from motives of pity or because
she had been especially attracted to
me? I was inclined to look at it as
a freak of some mischievous cbit to
set me wondering. After all, it must
have been something of a temptation
for her to kiss me since she could do
so without being found out.
I was removed to my home, but It
was several weeks before I was per
mitted to go out with my eyes uncov
ered. I asked to be shown tbe house
where I had been carried after the ac
cident and-found It an eminently re
spectable residence. I went In to
thank whoever had received me and
found an elderly lady wbo congratulat
ed me upon my recovery.
Now, what I had really gone there
for was to find out who kissed me.
But how? Could I tell tbe lady that
I had been surreptitiously kissed while
defenseless in her bouse, thus giving
away whoever bad done tbe deed? I
sat a few minutes talking with my
benefactress, but thinking of tbe se
cret I wished to discover till I consid
ered it about time to withdraw, dis
appointed at being no wiser than when
I bad come. I was a good deal of a
boy then and not competent to push
such a matter. I was nineteen. The
lady who had succored me was past
forty, and I was quite sure she had
not been the kisser.
A year passed. One day I was rid
ing In a street car when a young lady
got in. When tbe conductor came
round for her fare she opened her
poeketbook and looked surprised at
seeing no change there. She was
about to get out 'of tbe car when I
asked her to let me pay her fare for
her. She consented with a very sweet
smile, and I banded the conductor tbe
"Will yon please give me your ad
dress that I may repay you 7" sbe
To send a nickel weuld be more
trouble than It is worth," I replied.
"The matter Is of no consequence, 1
"Too are very kind. I will accept
tha amount, trusting that I may some
time have an opportunity to return
I should have liked to go on with
tbe conversation, but considered that
it would be presumptuous for me to
do so. Tbe giri made no further re
mark, so the. conversation dropped.
one got out before I did. and 1 should
have been glad to Join ber, but would
not for tbe world have taken advan
tage of so small a matter as lending
ber a nickel to force au acquaintance.
I had forgotten tbe episode when
one day I received an envelope con
taining a theater ticket. It was not
marked complimentary. It bad evi
dently "been purchased at tbe box of
fice. I went there and asked the tick
et seller If he could remember who
bought it Qe looked at it and said
that be could not. I went away won
dering wbo bad favored me, but feel
lug sure that tbe person would turn
up in time.
I went to tbe play hoping tbat I
. would bave my curiosity satisfied be
fore tbe evening was over, but 1 did
not. I saw no one whom I suspected-
In tbe audience, and no oue made
himself or herself known to me.
bad fancied tbat I might receive
pleasant surprise In seeing some old
friend take a seat beside me wbo
would turn out to be tbe donor of the
ticket. The seat on either side of me
was filled with persons 1 had never
seen before. A young man sat on my
right, a middle aged lady on my left-
Each was with another person, but
no one of either couple did I know or
had even paid any attention to me.
1 went borne my stifled.
One evening 1 was putting on even
log dress to go out when, slipping my
hand Into the right pocket of my din
ner jacket. I felt a little oblong pack
age. Withdrawing It, 1 took off the
paper in whlcb It was enrolled and
found a pasteboard box with a Jewel
era name and address on tbe cover.
Opening the box and removing a layer
of cotton, there on another layer glis
tened a gold scarf ring.
How did the box get into my pocket?
I pondered over tbe matter with no
success. Then I remembered that
had last worn tbe dinner Jacket at
tbe theater on tbe night I had used
the mysterious ticket, it occurred to
me that tbe young man sitting on my
right could bave slipped it into my
pocket. But why should be have done
so? lie was & stranger to me and had
manifested no Interest In me during
the evening. Indeed, be seemed to be
entirely absorbed with bis companion
a very pretty girl. I remembered.
Tbe scarf ring was a plain band ot
gold with a peculiar setting of five
jewels. In tbe center of a square
was a diamond.
One day while visiting a picture gal
lery. passing from one room to anotb
er, I met the street car girl face to
face. 1 bad my scarf ring on. and ber
eyes fell upon it before tbey struck
my face. Sbe raised them and at
once threw out the red signal. Bow
lng her bead, sbe attempted to dive
past me. But 1 bad had enough of
this mystery and sprang directly In
front of ber.
"You have returned the loan of a
nickel," 1 said, "with a theater ticket.
and you placed this scarf ring"
"I did not."
"I mean a young man who eat In
tbe next seat to me placed it there by
"1 wished to repay an obligation."
"lou repaid It tenfold."
Then like an electric shock another
inference struck me. I determined to
risk all on a hazard.
"But you have given me something
more delicious than these." I said, look
ing her in the eye. "When I was blind
The blood in ber cheeks tbat had
partly subsided again flamed up, and
sbe made another dive for freedom.
but I headed ber off. I knew sbe was
the girl wbo bad kissed me.
Well, It was all out, and I told ber
that nothing would satisfy me but a
full statement of the case from the
time of the bursting of tbat gun at
the celebration tbat bad suspended
consciousness within me and enabled
her to ccjry on this succession of sur
prises. Sbe told me tbat I might call
upon ber and she would satisfy my
curiosity. I made the call without any
delay, and this is the story sbe gave
"The bouse to which you were car
tied was and is occupied by my aunt
and uncle. I went there shortly after
you were taken in and, seeing a crowd
about the house, was In dread lest
something bad happened to some one
of the family. My aunt told me of tbe
explosion of the gun and your arrival.
A doctor was then with you, washing
out what bad been blown Into your
eyes, and when he left tbe room be
reported that you were In a more crit
ical condition than afterward turned
out to be tbe case.
"I volunteered to go In and look out
for your needs, and my aunt, who la
a very nervous woman, was quite will
ing to accept my services in your be
half. Wben I saw a young soldier ly
ing there grievously injured looking so
"Cut it out," I interrupted.
Sbe continued ber story, smiling "I
felt pity In my heart. Then it oc
curred to me to puzzle you with that
"When I met you In the street car
I pretended I bad no change that you
might pay my fare. I knew where you
lived and sent the theater ticket as
a return for your favor. The young
man bo sat on your right was my
brother and commissioned by me to
drop the scarf ring into your pocket.
There, you bave my confession. Tbe
whole thing has been done for fun."
I concluded that a girl who would
take all that trouble for fun might
not be hard to win by the objct of
her amusement I acted on this opin
ion and found It to be correct.
June 12 in American
187ft William Cullen Bryant, poet and
editor, died; born 1794.
1884 Commander John Rodgers, D. S
N.. retired, noted commaoder in
tbe civil war. died; born 1S23.
1900 Lucretia Peabody II ale, noted
writer, died; born 1820.
1903 General Alexander McDow t
McCook. D. S. A-, retired, died
rpoo much conversational sugar acts
as a ferment and renders the dis
position acid. '
There are plenty to be first aid to
the injured when Cupid has been ex
Some of us don't want to die for fear
our obituary notices will be embarrass
ing. Anarchy Is the state a man Is In
when his wife goes away from home.
There are countless numbers of peo
ple wbo would rather rust out than
Some people go through life in a
rtate of suspended animation.
Nothing is plenty for a lazy man to
do, and be always bas it with him.
Law Is something tht a man who
can afford It hires a lawyer to keep
out of his way.
If every day were Sunday how In
tbe world would we ever manage to
get our laundry?
The Ananias club has many members
that do not wear their badges promi
Krom out the cultured east he came
To educate the west.
Its manners rough and rude to tame
According to his test.
He came and saw, but didn't act.
For bitter waa his cup
A native told him for a fact
"The country's done grown up."
And that's the truth, as any one
Who Journeys west may see.
Out toward the glorious setting sun
The culture's wide and free.
Chautauqua In some form and shape
Are found on every side.
And If a person would escape
It's up to him to hide.
The college graduate Is there
To view the landscape o'er.
And, loaded to the guard for bear.
He often takes the floor.
And self made men who made the west
Are found In every walk
Who know If they are duly pressed
A band saw from a bawk.
But that Is not the surest test
Of culture's wide extent.
Tou see the women gayly dressed
In styles from Paris sent.
The person who goes west to see
How far behind they are
Where woolly manners used to be
Is billed to get a jar.
"Sbe Is a woman of means."
"Quite different from her sister,
"She is a woman of extremes."
"Yes, he was all through the war."
"How did he come out?"
"lie lost his arm In an engagement"
"Ills nephew fared worse than that"
"I didn't know he was In the war."
"lie wasn't, but he lost his' head to
"She always borrows trouble."
"I wouldn't mind that so much If she
Weren't so punctilious."
"In what way?"
"She always brings back to us all tbe
trouble she borrows."
Fixing Him Out.
"I wish I could
think of some
thing bright to
do to entertain
tbe company so
as to repay tbe
hostess for her
bright to dor'
It Sure la.
"There's no new , thing under tb
"You Jut go and look at Freddle'i
"Iler husband looks like a tramp."
"He Is a tramp."
"How did she come to marry him?"
"Can't a man be a tramp and a daks
Charged What It Was Worth.
"Tbe landlady taught him a lesson
lie started to praise ber cooking."
"Didn't she like it?"
"Like it? Sbe raised his board
"Is he a good liar?"
"I thought be waa"
"No; his lies are good, bat be isn't."
We do not care to figbt agala.
Cut really what's the harm
To bave a war scare now and tbaa
In place of war's alarm
Lame shoulder is almost Invariably
caused by rheumatism of the muscle
and yields quickly to the free appli
cation of Chamberlain's Liniment,
This liniment Is not only prompt and
effectual, but in no way disagreeable tc
use. Sold by all druggists.