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THE ROCK ISTJAXD AKGTJS, SATURDAY, JTJLT 8, 1911.
83 CHORDS AND DISCORDS B
OUR WEEKLY STOEY.
BT MOHWI S. HKAOT.
The auctioneer wrth a wagon load
of books had stepped on a corner la
the Tillage and Quickly collected a
crowd around him, hut be held np
book after book and failed to get a
bid. He finally selected a bible, and
fastening' his gaze on an old man
who was vigorously chewing tobacco,
"My friend, are yon a Christian
"I ar," was the reply.
"Do yon believe in this book?"
"Hare yoa got one like It home?
"No. I hain't.
"Then why dont yon giro me a
bid on this. What's the matter with
this crowd that I cant sell a bible
for a tenth of its worth? Don't your
religion In this town Include a bi
ble?" "She does, stranger, she does." re
plied the old man, "but lemme ex
plain things a little. On Monday
we had a hoss race. On Tuesday
there was a dog fight. On Wednes
day a feller came along with a guess"
lng hog, and yesterday there was a
scrap between lightweights for the
gate receipts. We dote on the bible
here, but we are also a sporty town
and if porous plaster was selling for
2 cents apiece there hain't one of
us could raise the dough to invest.
You'll ent have to wait till we re
cuperate and get a new holt."
nriLrs mutate haiu
Dear Tom: I suppose the flyjswat
tlng crusade has hit your burg by
now. It's a national movement, you
know. It has been endorsed by the
Taft administration, the Woman's
Christian Temperance union, the Na
tional Liquor Dealers' association, L:i
Russell and Doc Cook. To date !
have laid low 18 of the winged pest;.
I never had such a hatred for the
little things as I have harbored Blnce
all that would save me from being con
sumed. Three pitchers of ice water,
and that only seemed to act as fual
for the bodily conflagration. Ever try
to sit still on a hot day? Impossible
Just attempt It, and while you sre
doing so make it a point to remember
how many times you shift your loca
tion and the number of miles yo
travel over an elghtrroom house from
one to six, when the dinner call, in
volving some cooling offering, tempor
arily takes your mind off the atmos
pheric conditions. I first attempted to
take a nap. Some fool friend tild
me the proper stunt was to drop Into
a tub of cold water, and then kur7
to bed without drying the body. It
feels bully for a short time. Well, I
hit the downy, and I managed to g-
asleep before the water commenced
to boil. When I awakened half an
hour later I began to fight tor breath.
On the level, until I completely came
to I thought I had been dipped Into
a tub of boiling suds. Oh. it's an
awful fcansation. It you have an ao
qnalntanoe whose friendship yon wish
to cut with the least expense possible
Just pass him a recommendation to
follow. He'll only associate you with
one chap, and I hope youH never have
occasion to get any closer to the latta
than you are now.
Then I tackled the city papers, of
which I happened to have three. Every
page that I turned I was confronted
by stories of the beat. I slammed
down the papers and went to a maga
zine. The first article was a 20-page
sermon by some hijh-brow doctor on
how effectually to rid the home of the
fly and the cockroach during the tor-Id
months . It was illustrated profusely
with photograha of the insects referred
to. with the strong pedal on the fly.
I had already moved nine time.
With every shift the flies apparent!
grew thicker. I stood my ground. Oc
casionally my dog would walk into
the house, carrying on his back at
lea6t a dozen of friendly flies that be
had got mixed up with on the lawc.
Is it possible that the 1911 breed i After he had introduced them to me
more ornary than those we had with
us In former years? I remember a
a kid bow I used to cha6e the Utile
bird I thought they were young
birds In those days up and down the
window pane and across the room,
and when I got tired out I would turn
in and ftake liim to a meal and a
drink of water. Wouldn't think of
killing him. Ifs reading all this news
paper dope, I believe, that has got us
dingy on the fly question.
However, last Sunday I stuck home
all afternoon. Really it was so hot
that when I remained in the same
he would lie down for a spell and thu your hits.
lng and play, if you are a good fellow,
and don't seek to crab his progress
too early, is willing to stand up and
take a rap over the back and lie
down and die like a martyr. Where I
made my mistake was In getting ugly.
There was one fellow towards whom I
took a particular diBltke. for, after I
had seen him lay In a meal that ought
to satisfy any ordinary fly, he persist
ed in operating on my ankle. I must
have kicked at him. and unsuccessful
ly, at least two dozen times. Once I
drove the toe nail of my right foot
into my left ankle and drew blood.
Of course that did not have the effect
of sweetening my disposition. So I
pulled down the 10-oent swatter, and
the battle opened fn earnest. The
ankle offender was the first doomed
to death. Frankly, he was the tough
est customer to corner that I ever
had an experience with. Once I lo
cated him crawling from the dining
room into the kitchen. He managed
to get on the other- side of the dcr
before I could get a lick at him. I
opened the door Quietly, and as I did
so he started on the return trip, sealing
my noodle. Just a tantalizing touch.
The door has a spring. I backed up
Quickly, turning partly in an effort to
land on him as he voyaged close to
the walL The door came back and hit
me behind the right ear. . But I per
severed. Next, I pursued him through
the sitting room Into the hall and back
into the kitchen. He was getting close
to the gas range. I sat down on the
floor and gave him plenty of time to
light When he did he presented a
most inviting picture. He was roost
ing on the edge of the oven. Th9
door was ajar. I leaped forward and
swatted, and I got he edge of the
door on the right side of the nose.
Blood once more. Then it was a rush
to the bathroom to apply the old-home
remedies. It was just six when I
walked down stairs with my face and
ankle fixed up. Do you believe it when
I tell you that I recognized that same
rascal when he greeted me at break
fast next morning?
Swat, but don't play favorites. Bunch
go out again for another batch. The
last delegation in would open a con- 1 sewV" makes kulhg.
cert. Ever notice that flies travel in j People are gradually becoming ac
bunches and that each crowd has d:f- j cugtomed to the absence of the pub-
music? I stuck fr
the first concert; and when the secon-1
delegation opf-ned up on me I declared
Right here I want to explain to you
how to swat the fly. Don't show your
temper. If you do they will invariably
ditcb you, and if they are disposed fo
be unsociable they can make it de
cidedly unpleasant for you. Yr.::
spot for 10 consecutive minutes I should remember that the fly, after
imagined that a fire alarm would tejhe has had an enjoyable day of feasi-
As Handy As
A Lady's Maid On Your
Your vacation outing should represent
pleasure plus convenience. With an
Electric Traveling Utility Outfit you can
enjoy an approach to the deft services of
a competent lady's maid, even under the
trying conditions travel imposes.
This Electric Traveling Iron, with water
cup, curling iron heater and ooze
leather bag is practically indispensable,
whether in the hotel, on board ship or
in the summer cottage.
The dainty little iron, light but efficient, may
be used to press out shirtwaists, handkerchiefs,
ribbons, laces, etc, also to heat a curling iron,
while the cup offers a quick and convenient way
of heating lH pints of water on the inverted flat
iron. These utensils, with long, flexible con
necting cord, for connecting to any electric lamp
socket, come in a dainty ooze leather bag
the whole outfit weighing only 3X pounds.
Howwtf and wiartm yoa go on your rscation outing
thi summer, yosi mrm almost cartcln to and Electric Light,
allowing ths use of this decided convenience. With it
your niceties of dress, so essential to feminine daintiness,
may be constantly and quickly refreshed.
Price, Complete, $6.00
Michigan and Jackson Boulevards
Over 2000 Thing Electrical
lie drinking cup, but that Is not say
ing that the new law is to their lik
ing when they are especially thirsty.
There was an instance during the
last w-eek that made almost every
one on a train from Chicago to
Rock Island declare that the law was
a hardship and a detriment and there
is hardly any wonder. The day was
one of those extremely oppressive
ones and the train was crowded
with passengers. As the train pulled
out of the LaSalle street station, the
heat was at Its highest. People
wanted a drink and though the water
was in the cooler nearby they had
no receptacle from which to drink.
But the "newsy" had some and
' he knew that no one else was so
'equipped. The first one who desired
j to purchase a cup fell for the steep
price and the "newsy" thinking that
j he had something good, boosted the
price of an ordinary 10 cent fold
ing drinking cup to 80 cents. He
I disposed of his entire stock and there
i was a call for more which rould not
; be filled. F'nally an old woman,
i driven on by extreme thirst, be-
j thought herself of a happy scheme
been so hot, ths "newsy would
probably have been dealt with harsh
ly for hi highwaymen, tactics.
TB ED TAKES A REST.
(Deshler, Ohio, Flag).
It may sound funny, but we wish
to announce that there will be no Desh
ler Flag Issued on the week of July
14, as the editor and wife and fore
man and wife have been honored
with transportation to Mackinac and
return via . D. & C. line, and will
leave for that place on Monday, July
10, to be absent all week.
Those having Job work or adver
tising they want done immediately
will get it in next week.
We believe that we have been
good enough to our readers to de
serve thjs vacation, as we are giving
you the largest weekly paper In the
state, besides issuing in addition four
and eight page supplements without
extra charge. It has been a long
time since we have had a vacation
and we feel that we have earned It
at this time.
Remember that there will he no
Flag issued on the week of the 10th
and govern yourself accordingly.
During our absence the office will
be in charge of Mr. Leon Smith,
who will have the care of the "she
hang." We have the passes, now If we
can collect in enough money to sup
ply us with cheese, bologna and
crackers, we hope to have a good
GnURD FTJU2 FIGHTERS.
(Glrard, ni.. Gazette).
The city fire department, desir
ing practice in handling their new
engine and the coupling of the hose,
have been securing the same this
week. Monday evening they gave
a demonstration for the benefit of
a committee from Auburn, which is
contemplating the purchase of a fire
engine. Tuesday evening Fireman
Jay Myers invited them over to his
place to empty a cistern containing
hard water. They accepted the in
vitation and had a good practice, also
accommodating Mr. Myers by wat-
ering his garden. After emptying
the cistern, Jeff Parks, who lives
near by invited them over to his
place to empty a well and also water
his garden. This was entirely sat
isfactory with the department, who
were anxious for more practice and
hey made a change to the Parks
Wednesday evening they took the
department to the home of Ed Eccles
and held a like demonstration and
also at the mill pond near the de
pot. The department has received their
official badges and the same should
be recognized by the public when
attending an actual fire. The fire
engine was hauled to the various
places by the city's new team and
made a very pretty display.
As some objections have been
made to the above proceedures, the
department will in the future charge
$1 for emptying a well which is to
pay the cost of gasoline and the
wear on the engine.
spent a nickle for a bottle of
I pop. emptied the contents and went
' to the cooler and filled the bottle
I with aqua pura, drank the liquid and
! was refreshed.
Those who had fallen for the 80
cent cups were envious hut those
who had been unable to obtain the
cup followed her lead. Had It not
i.oe her rsiox sriT.
(From Stark County News.)
A Lewlstown girl went to a din
ner in Canton with her steady. The
young man noticed a speck of what
appeared lint on her shoulder.
When she wasn't looking he at
tempted to knock it off "with his
finjjer. After several futile attempts
be took hold of the lint and started
to pull It off. He unraveled several
yards of the fleecy stuff and when he
seemed to have all of It threw- the
wad under the table. That night
the cirl told her mother that she
had a perfectly lovely time.
"But," she added, "I have Just
been lying in bed, mother, and
wondering what became of my union
Is Now in ProiTress and Will Last Until
Saturday, July 15
jfrr Our great July Clearing Sale which began Saturday
I morning has started at a record breaking pace. It bids
1 1 fair to prove the crowning feature of the season because
of the great reductions on the season's most desirable merchandise.
TrYou cannot possibly allow this opportunity to pass as it
means money to you in every department. We invite
1 1 you to inspect these rare values that we are offering on
our rich, high quality seasonable merchandise. Come early
and often. New sales every day.
Co-Operative Store Co
Rock Island. Ill
DO XT FAIL
T1IK UK; SALE
WEATHER HATCHES EGGS
Hen Deserts Nest, but High Temper
ature Brings ObieJcs.
Kewanee, 111.. July 8. A setting of
eggs at the barn of I. F. Myers, mer
chant, living on South Tremont street,
this city, was deserted by the hn
ten day ago after she had been on
the eggs less than two weeks. Toe
.eggs were not molested in the hope
that the hen might return, but she did
not. When Mr. Myers went to the
barn, today to destroy the eggs he was
astonished to find they had been
hatched through the action of the in-
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO
Wm. D. Majuslua Adrertiainx Aseacy, Chicago
(From The Argus files of 1886).
July 1 Chsrles Oswald and Mrs.
TVilhelmlna Pfoh were united' In
marriage last evening at the home of
the bride's parents, Mr. and Mrs.
George Schneider. Twenty-first
street and Fourth avenue, Dr. W. S.
Marquis officiating. The couple will
make their home at 605 Twenty
J. J. Reimers left this morning to
attend the meeting of the republican
congressional committee in Mon
mouth. Mr. and Mrs. Albert Meyer of
New York city are in the city.
July 2 The receipts of the Rock
Island post office are now so great
that Rock Island may now have free
Division Superintendent W. C.
Brown of the Burlington was In the
All of the crops are suffering
from the extreme drought and un
less there Is relief soon everything
will be burned.
July S Fay Lynde has graduated
from Yale university and has re
turned home He --n his
duties at once as cashier In the
Mitchell Lynde bank.
- Trrer house is undergoing a
thorough painting as far as the ex
terior is concerned.
July 5 M. and Mrs. Theodore
Free celebrated the Fourth by the
arrival of a bouncing boy.
The thermometer registered 94 to
day and but for the grateful breezes
suffering humanity would have
roasted alive today.
Conductor and Mrs. A. L. Barber
visited at Lsrchland Saturday. Bar
ber distinguished himself by shoot
ing skyrockets and roman candles in !
every conceivable direction. j
Though yesterday was the Fourth
of July, in fact, today Is In the law,
and the youngster is thankful for
the opportunity to celebrate more
than one day.
July 6 One of our county officials
is quietly receiving the congratula
tions of his friends on his approach
lng marriage to a young woman of
July 7 Ninety-nine to 103 in the
July 8 A daughter was horn to
Mr. and Mrs. Emil Warnecke yes
When the stomach falls to perform
Its functions, the bowels become !-
ranged, the liver and the kidneys con
gested causing numerous diseases.
The stomach and liver must be re
stored to a healthy condition a&d
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets csn be depended upon to do it
Easy to take and most effective. Sold
by all druggists.
A Splendid Tonic.
Cora, Ky. Mrs. Iva Moore, of this
place, says, "I was so weak, I could
hardly walk. I tried Cardul and was
greatly relieved. It is a splendid
tpnlc. I "have recommended Cardul
to many friends who tried it with
good results. Testimony like this
comes unsolicited, from thousands
of earnest women, who have been
benefited by the timely use of that
successful tonic medicine, Cardul.
Purely vegetable, mild, but reliable,
Cardul well merits its high place in
the esteem cf those who have tried
it. It relieves women's pains, and
strengthens weak women. It is cer
tainly worth a trial. Your druggist
The Straggle- Discourages Many a
Citizen of Rock Island.
Around all day with an aching
Can't rest at night:
Knough to make any one "give
Doan's Kidney Pills are helping
They are for kidney backache;
They relieve kidney ills.
Here is Rock Island proof that this
Miss Hilda W. OJson, 410 Ninth
street, Rock Island, HI., says: "I was
caused much misery by pains across
my kidneys and my back was very
weak. After being on my feet for
aqy length of time or doing any
walking, I felt all tired out and was
obliged to sit down and re6t. Doan's
Kidney Pills were so highly recom
mended that I procured a box at the
Harper House pharmacy and began
taking them. The first few doses
gave me relief and after I bad used
the contents of three boxes my con
dition had improved in every way.
I consider Doan's Kidney Pills an
exceltant preparation for troubles
caused by weak kidneys."
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-Milburn company, Buf
falo, N. Y., sole agents for the
Remember the name Doan's
and take no other.
tense heat during the last ten days.
Mr. Myers has a nest full of chickens,
but they lack a mother, and he doe
not know what to do with them.
g 4 ON MUiS
Netting S.&5 per cent to 7.ZH
per cent, denominations, $20O(
First lien against choicst res
ide n re property os Twenty-nith
street. Seventh to Ninth ave
nue. Thirty -eighth street Fifth
to Seventh avenne. Fortv-e
and street. Seventh to Ninth
stvesne. Seventh avenue (boule
vard) Thirtieth to Forty-sixth
Call or phone '
LITTEN & ROBERTS
Peoples Mm Bank BIdg.
PhoM West 122.
SAVINGS OUR NEW BUILDING TO BE 169 O
Jm",W OPENED NEXT SEPTEMBER:
Just as capital and surplus determine the degree of safety
which a financial institution affords to its depositors, so
the growth in the number of its patrons shows the con
fidence in which, it is held by the community. This bank
has had a rapid and steady growth since its establishment
and the fact that it Is today the largest as well as the
oldest savings bank in this community. Is ample evidence
that the people of Rock Island appreciate the soundness
and stability of its management.
nTLc Arrc a r.rurDAL rOMMERCIAL. SAVINGS. I
318 Eighteenth Street
All kinds of building. We
do repair work. Estimates
furnished. Your patron
Phone West 1318. '
We have a Golf
course in excellent
condition located on
hotel grounds. Pro
fessional In charge.
You can play Oolf,
top In a strictly
first class hotel,
drink the famous M.
C. Mineral water
which will tone up your sys
tem and rebuild your consti
tution, you can enjoy all
kinds of Mineral and Turkish
baths. All at ; reasonable
rates. A great combination
to make an Ideal Summer va
cation. Plan your motor trip
to Colfax. We have a Oar
... frAfnt is on the main
line of the Rock Island, near Des
Moines. Iowa. For Information write
to - -
Hotel Colfax. Colfax. Iowa
BIJOU Cigar Store
1626 Second Avenue.
Under the new management
What brand do you smoke? If you want to get the full flavor of
your favorite cigar you must get It from a dealer who keeps his
cigars in the same condition as the maker intended. Lots of cigars
lose that peculiar aroma when exposed ours are always kept in
air-tight showcases and regulated by moisture to the right degree.
'Cinco" cigar. The odor is fragrant and de-
Phone West 555.