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THE ROCK: ISLLAD AltGTTS, FRIDAY, JULY 14, 1911.
'Deity a4 WeaMr at 14
tdu Rook Island, m. En-
tered ftt th poetofflceea eeooad n1es
BY TKE 3. W. POTTER CO.
TTTR MB, Daily. 10 emu per week.
IWeekJy, $1 per year fa adruMi
AH eotnaauntoatloiia of erg-urn entetlT
character, political or rUffloa. nrat
feveral nam attached for pnbUca
tlom. Wo e-ueh article wtn k printed
ever flctttlou 1g-naturee.
Comfpoadnt eollclted from ovary
township in Rock Island county.
TRADES ffi7) COUNCIL 20
Friday, July 14, 1911.
Castro may have
can be get back?
coma back but
Save your potatoes. Each one will
Tie worth It price In gold in the fall.
For a man so usually talkative,
llincs la eloquently mute these days.
And yet there are some actresses
who stay married for more than two
The man who owns an automobile is
not at all disturbed about the rise In
the price of hay.
Regardless of what the Jury's verdict
might have been, the peoples verdict !Gf a reciprocity treaty which reml's
Is that "absolute life" is an absolute! 20 per cent on the duty collected on
Pure Food Wiley is now in a war
against users of tobacco and says that
tubllc smoking will be obsolete in
fifteen year?, in fifteen years rrori
Cow Wiley will be forgotten but smok
ers will go on forever.
Chicago is fiphtlng over a new post- mlsht be possible without remission
office site on the west side. One has: of such duties just as it was possible
been purchased, but the people are ; in the rase of the Philippines. As
protesting. Did 1'nele Sam ever buy to annexation, the United States will
t. lot anywhere for one of his buildings be ready for it when the Cubans are
lhat everybody was satisfied with? ; reedy for it. There is no disposition
.. ito hurry matters. If the United States
The Kocall of Judges.
It appears that Arizona is not going
' to be allowed to try the experiment of
recall of the judiciary. President Taft
has announced that he would veto the
i admission of Arizona if the constitu
tion retains the provision for recall of
'i As a matter of fact there has never
been much complaint of judges elected
by the people. What -has soured the
'. public has been the conduct of judges
' appointed at Washington. These fed
eral judges have secured their appoiu'-
tucnts as political reward, and the sue
cessful ones have been designated by
Judges or congressmen, representing
the trust and land-grabbing interests.
It was not at all surprising that they
should feel under obligations to those
who gave tin m iiieir positions and as
a result trials involving moneyed in
terests hae been in fconie courts a
As the Arizona recall would not
reach these offenders, it is of less im
portance than might appear.
More recent reports of crop condi
tions bring grejUr as.-urance that th
country Is not ruined by crop damage
The crop reporting board and bureau
of statistics at Washington. D. C. has
cent out detailed figures showing th-"
crcp onrii'ior.s for the United States
on July 1. These retires show ail
wheat averaging 73. t as compared with
a 10-year average of S5.I; corn aver ! Provisions of New Law Affect Half a
aging Sfl.l cornp?red with a 10-year av-j Million Men.
crage of St 7; oats 0.3. S against the lv j Various provisions of the naturaltea
year avcrac? of 6.3: hay C4.9 as j tion law. passed five yesrs ago. are now
against S5 7 for the l't year average. t m eftct. and a study of them seems
The fall wheat average July l this ; to indicate that half a million men
year is givtn at 75. C against 7".5 last ; who bnve taken out first papers dur
jear. J Ing the Isst five years will find it im-
I.ast year's crops were below ih i isslb!p to get their second papers.
10-year avtrai;e. but there was nothing , The leading provision cf the new
diet re-tins auout them.
Since July i there have been general
raics. Crop conditions have improved
wonderfully, aii'.i wo adhere to the be
lief ;hat ;le o".n:ry and the crops are
saved alter all.
As con niou as the Hissian fly and
the cHiH-Ii in.-;- is crop pessimism. buf
despite th'Ve jir.! other crop-des; ro ing
agencies, the trops in this glorious
lard of sunshine, t'.owers and plenty
slways t.tr.ek up well.
The r.lue and the tamy.
Th- rtct-ui death i.i Klin:, Mkb., of
a survivor cf "the los: cruse" save rise
to ii.i Uiciui. nt to prove that all bitter
ness Lt.v, een the blue aud tUc tray
has at:ishd -!
Janits. H. Cook, a cavalry roau. who1
followed the fortunes of General John
11. Morjen. came Lorth at the conclu
sion of the war and seii'.ed iu Flint.
He us a fcocd citizen and wcu the
respv-ct cf the entire community.
Sis union soldiers, members of the
local Grand Army of tbe Republic, bore
his remains to their last resting place.
Six other oldiers who wore the "fade
less blue" acied as pallbearers aud a
delegation of Grand Army men served
is an escort.
Commeiting upon this honor paid by
anion rifi to a confederate soldier, the
commT rr of the Grand Army post
"All bitterness has passed from our
hearts and we turned out to pay trib-
jute to a man w no rougm ior me muigs
In which be believed, although they
were contrary to ideas which were
ield by us. He was none the less a
iiero because he was on the side of the
confederacy and he was entitled to the
oionors that befall a soldier when he
1 This incident is attracUz g wide at-
tentlon, and well it may. It shows that
the north, and south are united and
that the brae and the gray are no long
er enemies, but friends. All difference
are forgotten and all bitterness has
ceased. There is only one sentiment
In this country and that Is the glory of
the entire nation.
One flag float over alL
Cuba and Annexation.
There is one very good reason, ths
Cubans say, why they are not anxioos
for annexation to the United States,
and that is that the Imports from Cu
ba into the United States haw be
come so large that the incorporation
of the island into the union would in
volve a great loss in revenue. Ac
cording to the reports our total Im
ports from Cuba during the ten
months up to AurO 1 last amounted to
$S3,071,62o. While this shows a fait
Ins off of nearly $9,000,000, compar
ed with the same ten months ending
in 1910, It ie a trade of large volume
and shows a tremendous increase as
compared with 1908 or any prior year.
Of this $53,071,625 in Imports, there
were $GO,331, 854 in sugar, $11,677,171
in unmanufactured tobacoo, and Si,
544,794 In cigars and other manufac
tured tfacco. In other words, all
but $7,457,406 of the Imports from Cu
ba during these ten months consisted
of heavily taxed sugar and tobacco
Admitting all this is tree, 1 it not
true that the Cuban statesmen are
attaching an undue importance to this
point? Senor M. Robalna of Havana,
who Is fighting the annexation pro
position, which, by the way, has not
been proposed as yet, say notwltf
standing that through the operation
the same class of imports when
brought from other countries. Cuba
should rather remit the other 80 per
cent of duties than to bring free Cuban
sugar in competition with the sugar
industry of Louisiana and Texac and
free tobacco in competition with the
tobacco growers of many states.
This is a false alarm. Annexation
lis willing when the Cubans get will
Sing there will be annexation but whh-
out such a coalition it will never bo
possible and nobody cares particularly
' whether it comes or not
It is for .Cuba now to look out for
its own interests.
ATTACK ON HARVARD.
Sidis' Book Also Contain a Thrust at
Boris Sidis, a psychologist of high
standing connected with Harvard unl-
versity, in "The Philistine and Gen-
ius," a small book just issued, sharply
criticises Harvard and other college
and schools of the country and inci
dentally points out the possibilities in
the way of education by citing the ex
ample of his renwrknble son. who at
twfive years of age reads Homer and
discusses authoritatively the fourth di
mension. Eeu FresI.Iont Emeritus Charles W.
Eliot of Harvard did not escape the
writer's verbal castigation, or at least
It is supposed that President Eliot was
referred to In this paragraph:
"Not Jong ago we were informed
by one f those successful college man
darins lionized by the ofdee clerks, su
perintendents and tradesmen that he
could measure education by the foot
rule." Harvard men were amazed
when they rend this reference palpably
to Dr. Eliot's five foot shelf of books.
1;,w ls 'hat before receiving his see-
or:d papers the applicant must fill out
a new Wsr.k containing fifty ques
tions. This he must send at his own
expense to Washington. Second pa
pers ennnot be granted until the
WRshincrton office has verified the
proof of the man's landing here. It
hn been the custom to accept a man's
sworn statement as to his landing and
the sworn statement of two witnesses.
HE BREEDS TOADS.
Colorado Man Uces Them t Kill Off
A uclcue garden ls thst of J. V.
j Crone of Greeley, Colo., devoted to the
i reouing of toads ss well as the rais
ing of gs.rden truck. Mr. Crone has
eausht hundreds of toads and put tbem
on his place. He 6ays that they art
the worst enemy of the fly snd that
the time will come when people will
domesticate them for the porpose of
ridding premises of flies.
Toads have cleared every fly from
the Crone place, and neighbors at
tribute absence of flies from their
premise to the toad garden.
PRIMROSE QUITS STAGE.
Famous Minstrel Man Retlrs After
George Primrose, the minstrel, la
qnlttJng the stare to tread the Hfe of
ease. The member of a famous coterie
of burnt cork artists said:
"I've pot enough mooey to last mj
more than I can spend, and I'm finish
ed. I quit of my ow accord before I
Thus the associate of thst bead of
minstrels which included Messrs. Billy
Emerson. Charley Reed. Jack - Haverly
and Billy Birch is patting on his final
tonches of cork after a career of forty
Tears on the stajo.
HARD ON THE JEWS
Their Plight in Russia Now
Worse Than Ever, Says
CZAR HELPS THE ATTACKS
Is Declared to Be in Sympathy
With the Attitude of the
Herman Bernstein, the anthor, has
JomZ returned from a visit to Russia
to study the condition of the Jews in
that country. He said the condition of
the Jews there bow is worse than ever
Mr. Bernstein said that the entire
Russian press, beaded by the Nova
Tremya, the semiofficial organ, is as
sailing the Jews. It is charging that
the recent murder of a Christian was
done by Jews for ritualistic purposes
in celebration of the Passover.
"The purpose," he said, "is to offset
proposed liberal legislation in the
douma. such, for instance, as the re
moval of the pale of settlement that
ls, the extension of permission to Jews
to live la provinces outside of the fif
teen to which they are now restricted.
The newspapers say that if the Jews
were permitted to live outside the pale
the lives of Christians in those prov
inces opened to Jewish settlement
would not be safe.
"Such publications and all discus
sions of Talmudie laws were prohibit
ed in the reign of Nicholas, but now
the reactionary newspapers are given
free rein. The old libel of murders
of Christians perpetrated by Jews for
ritualistic purposes has been histor
ically disproved and disproved recent
ly, but is still persisted in.
"Ail the liberties extended to the
Jewish race nnder the constitution of
1905 have been practically nullified or
abridged through inaction, subterfuge,
trickery and the revival of old and for
gotten laws. Russia is now building
up a second generation of illiterate
Jews, a dangerous proceeding. She
lias her parliament and her constitu
tion, but they accomplish nothing.
"The reformers of 1903 introduced
the public school system for all, but
now only 5 per cent of the Jewish
children are permitted to attend the
pubiie schools. Until recently Jewish
young men could study outside and
take the final examinations of the
gymnasiums for entrance to Jhe uni
versities, the passing of which would
a I "so entitle them to live outside the
pale. Under an old law just raked up ;
the number is limped to 3 or 10 per
cent of the Russians laking the final
examination. Thus Russia Is barring ;
her Jewish youth from a university
"Russia gives passports quite freely
to those Jews who patronize Russian
steamship lines. The trouble Is to get
Into the interior of Russia. The Rus
sian consulates In America do not vise
the passports of Jews. Three years
sgo the Russian consul iu Now York
vised my passport b:tause be thought
I would write KometUiug to please the
Russian government. When I went
back the second year he inserted fn my
application blank, 'What is your re
ligion? "I said that, being iu America, I was
not obliged to answer.
"He said. "Ion't you know that Jews
are not allowed to enter Russia V
" 'Bnt you let me through last year,'
"He then told the vice consul ia Rus
sian that bo supposed they would have
to vise my passjxirt.
"I had no difficulty in visiting Ko
kovtzoff, minister of finance; Count
Witte. member of the council of the
empire, and Ambassador Rock hill.
Couut Witte said the government
would not be prepared to ameliorate
the condition of the Jew for years.
The Russian government will do noth
ing for the American Jews until the
Jewish question is settled In Russia.
"There Is no truth In the report that
Russia has made concessions to Amer
ica in the matter of passports. All
the protests, resolutions and represen
tations of this government were" ig
"I think the prejudice against the Jew
is chiefly in the mind of the czar. Tale
bearers find in the czar a ready listen
er. They tell him that the Jews breed
revolution. I know that the czar per
sonally has been helping the anti-Jewish
press and has been giving money
to its vilest publications."
"Too' re looking blue, doc. What's
"WelL I'll tell yoa. A patient I be
gan to treat died this morning."
"Ah. cheer up. Be might have died
even if yon hadn't been called.' To
Miss Faye Hough
Suit 611, Best Building'.
Old Phone West 1297.
' Night, when deep alee iaHetb on men." Job xzziii, 13.
The flrelifht throw lt fitful rr.
The drowsy shadows creep mbovtt
So the clock tick the ntht away.
And all the world i dark without. ?
The clock's unceasing" monotone
Beats on and on. and seems to siy
"The world has left me here alne;
1 tick the nisht away away.
I have no heed for whit ls gone,
No heed for what Is yet to be.
No care for twUigbt or for dawn
Birth, life and death are met in
I measure pathways for the stars.
I lead the sun across the day.
I mark the rhythm nothing mi
I tick the years away away.
"For neither death nor life I wait.
For heroes' strength, or cowards cries I
I change the place of low and great.
I baffle ignorant and wise:
I chant of hunger and of feast.
I am the pulse of work and play:
I mark Time's marching from the East,
I tick sll things away away. .-
(CopTTlft-Bt. 1SU. br
The Argus Daily Short Story
Copyrighted. 1911, by
There was n dignified aloofness about
Professor Cray thorne's manner which
forbade familiarity. This may have
been accountable for the fact that he
still reui:iim(l a bachelor as the years
of his thirties drew to an end. Maid
en who admired his line face and
many sterling (jualities retired dis
heartened from the ticid of conquest
at hi unapproachable demeanor, while
the professor in turn regarded them,
one aud all. with pitying tolerance.
They were pretty and amusing, no
doubt, but impossible as interesting
companions, while deep iu his heart
was a hope uncoufessed that eventually
he would meet one woman whose mind
could follow his own down the intri
cate paths of learning, for he was con
vinced that the happiness of two peo
ple must always depend upon their
sympathetic understanding. And when
the professor had reached this conclu
sion he met MoUie. It was at an even
ing party given by the rector's wife,
and the hostess, remembering ber
learned guest, introduced a historical
conundrum game by way of entertain
ment. The professor, looking up with
a thoughtful frown, met the mischiev
ous gaze of Mollie's blue eyes.
"Got the last one!" she asked social
ly. T beg your pardon?" His tone was
T would like to copy your answer to
the last question." Siollie confided.
"You ee. I don't know what became
of those dead and gone kings, and I'm
sure I do not care, but one really onght
to have one correct answer among the
fifteen, aud yon" a flattering pause
"you know everything."
"I may be better able to solve the
problem." the professor answered con
descendingly, "when I shall have given
it sufficient thought."
"That's right," Mollis encouraged;
"don't be a quitter."
Professor Craythorne stared in as
tonishment at this disrespectful young
person; but. quite unconscious of her
offense, Mollie smiled. Moreover, Mol
lie has a most engaging smile, and
that was the beginning. Thereafter it
was the professor who appeared
strangely diffident in her presence and
who humbly sued for fsvor. while Mol
lie avenged ber sex'by ruling him with
a high hand. And the habitual frown
which grew upon his forehead could
not wholly be attributed to study. In
fact, science and philosophy alike were
as the -rule of three" compared to the
ways of Mollie.
Had be been fortunate enough to act
as ber escort upon on occasion he
would be sure to see her in company
with Dick Brandon the following day,
while gentle kindliness upon Mollis'
part was usually followed by cold in
difference. After all. the professor reflected bit
terly, what cbancs had be to win with
such a formidable rival as Dick Bran
donDick, who was practiced in ail I
the pleasing arts of which he was so
woefully ignorant? '
It beats droi Into swaying rhyme:
It ainga the son of changing years:
'I tell the tale of tireless Time.
1 take the toll of smiles and tears,
I beat the rally-roll of war.
I bring peace following the fray.
Or master proud, or servitor.
I tick bis hours away away.
"I know of neither Joy nor woe.
I have no need of field or town.
By my rule must the empires grow,
I rust the shackles and the crown;
I beat on restlessly along
Unbcaring cries of ' Hsstel or 'Stay!'
I send to dust both right and wrong
I tick them alt away sway.
"And you who SIT. and smoke, and dream,
I beat the measure of your thought.
I bring the hopes with wondrous gleam.
I end the things that you have wrought I
I care not for your muttered curie,
I hark not if you plead or pray.
If love you hold or hate you nurse
I tick your life away away." .
W. O. Cbssb
By Agnes G. Brofran.
Associated Literary Press.
iuto the very depths of discouragement
Professor Craythorne went over and
proposed to Mollie. She received his
"Will you mind if I do not answer
you tonight?" she asked.
"Do not keep me waiting too long."
he replied, aud bis laugh sounded boy
ish in its eagerness.
Mollie studied the toe of her small
boot. "I will send you a message to
morrow," she said. "You will under
stand." Oh, that was a long tomorrow, and
when the last class bad been dismissed
the professor retired to his gloomy
room in the university and sank weari
ly into a chair, bis unseeing eyes gas
log out over the green campus.
"A note for you. sir." A servant
spoke from "the doorway. lie turned
the tiny envelope over and over in his
palm, while his heart hammered away
gainfully, and his strong fingers trem
bled as he drew forth the square white
card. lie was vaguely conscious of
Mollie's printed name and address
showing above a bold scribbled sen
tence. "My sympathy in yonr disap
pointment" It was some time before
be could realize tbe cruel message.
Then h remembered ebe bad said
that he wonld understand.
"Any one in?" called a cheery voice,
and without waiting for an invitation
a young man came into the room. John
Craythorne looked up impatiently.
"Good evening, Brandon." he said.
"Sorry to Interrupt your meditations,
professor." the young man began, "but
the truth Is I need help."
Tf you have been indulging in any
of yonr usual pranks it will be useless
for me to intercede for yoa sgaln."
Young Brandon isugbed: "This is
er quits a different matter." be said.
"Fact is. I want to get married. Yoa
may have noticed tbe approaching
symptoms most people have."
John Craythorne smiled, bnt bis
voice fsltered strangsly.
"Under those circumstances." he re
plied, "would it not be wiser to cos
suit the young lady?"
"Ob. that part is all tight." Dick an
swered confidently; "we've been in
love with each other ever since w
wert kids. Ifs the old man who will
not give his consent. He objects to
my youth, instability and a few other
unworthy qualities, having in mind at
tbe same time a more desirable 'parti'
for bis daughter. Trouble is daughter
Is just obedient enough to yield to bis
wish, though there is no doubt ss to
her affection for me.
".Now, tbe point is this If some per
son who has some influence with the
old fellow, whose judgment he relies
upoo. could suggest to him that I am
not at all a bad ort, why, he would
probably corns around to our side. At
least, thst is what Mollie said when
she sent me to you."
-Mollis sent yoa to me?"' The
word came slowly. John Craythorne
face bad grown very white.
"Yea." il:k aLaswfcred. Sbe
you'd be sure to do It for ber. you two
are such good friends."
The professor laughed shortly.
Tie will be at borne tonight." Dick
remarked insinuatingly ss be turned
toward the door.
When be was alone a gam the pro
fessor turned on the electric bulb
above his mirror and pitilessly exam
ined his own tired face, fie noted
with a grim smile tbe bard lilies which
seemed to have formed . oout bis
mouth. Qe was glad that Mollie was
not to be seen when he sought her
home, for the sight of her winsome
face would be more than could bear
In bis present mood.
Her father .welcomed him with his
usual cordiality. The professor stood
with frowning brows and briefly stat
ed his errand.
"I come at your daughter's request."
he said, "hoping that when you realUe
her future happiness is at stake you
will not withhold your consent to ber
marriage with Richard Brandon."
Then while he e arged upon Dick's
few virtues and condoled his many
faults the older man listened atten
tively. "This ls a great disappointment to
me," he said at length, "and you will
pardon my bluntness. I had hoped
that my daughter's choice might have
r fallen upon yourself."
John Craythorne sighed. "I also
dared to hope," be said quietly.
"Before we discuss the subject fur
ther." ber father continued, "I wonld
: like to send for Mollie."
"I prefer not to be present at that
discussion," the professor answered
stiffly. Then he turned suddenly to
face Mollie herself. After tbe first
startled glance he resolutely avoided
Trofessor Craythorne has been in
terceding with me in your behalf. Mol
lie," her father said. "He assures me
that young Brandon will make you a
good husband, though I confess I re
gret your choice. Nevertheless your will
must always be mlue. my daughter."
John Craythorne waited in breath
less suspense for Mollie's answer.
'Trofessor Craythorne." asked a meek
little voice, "will yoa kindly tell me
Just why you choose to play the part
of John Alden?"
He confronted her indignantly. "Dick
Brandon gave me to understand that
such was your wish." he replied.
Mollie's eyes widened, and then she
laughed it was an aggravating little
laugh. "I did not expect you would
give Dick such a good character." she
said wickedly, "when you know very
well he flunked last year."
A prolonged whistle sounded down
the ball at this moment, and Mollie
puckered up her lips to answer. In
stantly the object of the conference
burst into the room.
"Hello. Mollie!" he called. "T-t
blundering man Just gave me yonr card,
and I rushed over. What's the news?"
Mollie extended her hand. "Dickie."
she said, "will you let me Fee that
card? 1 left two of them at the uni
versity today, one for Professor Cray
thorne and one for you. I am begin
ning to suspect that I put tbem into
the wrong envelopes. Yes." she said,
smiling over at the professor, "this
one was Intended for you." Then she
"I shall expect you at 0 this evenfotg.
Do not disappoint me."
"Yours was Just a word of sympa
thy. Dickie." she said sweetly, "writ
ten when P.ettle told me that her fa
ther had refused his consent to your
John Craythorne took one hasty step
In her direction, then hesitated as Mol
lie's father spoke sharply. "Will you
please tell me what this all means?"
Mollie's eyes were dancing.
"Kettle's father thinks very highly
of Professor Craythorne's opinion, and
that Is why i suggested that be might
persuade the obstinate old man to
withdraw his objections to Dick as a
suitor. However" she laughed over
ber shoulder "I think I have man
aged it for you. Dick. You had better
go over and see."
"Mollie." John Craythorne cried
eagerly, but she clung to her father for
a moment. Ignoring the call, while tbe
old man's. face beamed with satisfac
tion; then she pushed him gently from
"Daddy." she hinted broadly, "must
you really go?"
And a long time after, while tbe pro
fessor and Mollie still lingered In tbe
library, she raised ber glowing face to
look up at her lover reproachfully.
"Yoa do not deserve such happiness,"
she said. "You would have married
me off to another man."
"Dear." John Craythorne answered
tenderly, "how dared 1 hope that you
cared for this solemn old student,
while Dick possessed those admirable
qualities youtb and good look?'
The girl touched the little crease
upon bis forehead caressingly. "Too
have qualities which Dickie will never
posses." she said: then her laugh rip
pled merrily. "Any one but a stupid
professor would see that 1 do not need
youtb or good looks." said Mollie.
July 14 in American
181S General Nathaniel Lyon, civil
war bero. born; killed at Wilson's
Creek. Mo.. 18U.
182& Jervl McEntee. landscape art
ist, born: died 1S91.
1&53 The Crystal Palace exhibition
opened in New York city.
1897 General John V. Farnsworth.
noted Federal veteran, died.
1910 Aloys Wlmchirg. Inventor of
atock ticker, died; born 1S32.
Wantad to Unload.
Employer I hop you save some
thing out of your salary. James?
Office Boy Yes, sir; moat all of It, lr.
Employer leazerlyi Do you want to
buy an automobile cheap? Puck.
Leisure ! time for doing something
osefnl. This leisure tbe diligent man
will obtai-, i.ni the lazy una never.
ftr BVACAA tt. SMITH
gOME persons who talk about stay
ing to the bitter end conclude that
the bitter end is the front end.
When we are old enough to know
better we are often too old to do bet
ter. Don't burn your bridges behind you.
You might get roasted in retreat.
Answer a fool according to his folly
and he will hail you as a brother.
There may be plenty of easy ways
of making a living, but most of them
The past has many lessons for as,
bat some of tbem are too dark to read.
Don't be too hard on the fellow who
can't talk back. He may come back
some fine day.
Tou can't expect a ten dollar articls
for 98 cents unless you are a sub
limated optimist, in which case yoa
shouldn't be trusted with tbe ninety
eight. We are told not to get excited over
trifles; but, then, nothing exciting ls
Time is money, and health Is wealth.
Therefore time is health. Therefore
the older you are tbe healthier you
are. Tell it to your grandmother.
Overlook the Horn Folk.
The children of the cobbler
Must so with shoeless feet;
Sometimes the baker's bablea
Don't have enough to eat:
The tailor's son without coat
The chilly ways muat trod:
The blacksmith, to completa the tale
Ills horse roes round unahod.
Well, once upon Bummer" a day
A man was passing by
A place where lady barber work.
A neat ons took his eya.
lie went Into th barber abop.
And It was as he feared.
Or. rather, hoped he loat his heart
The while he loat his beard.
He chatted with her for awhile.
And then In accenta low
He asked her would ahe be his wife.
She said It waa a go.
Who would have thought." he ald, "1
Be such a lucky chap?
He figured In hla mind that h
Had fallen In a snap.
They hurried to a preaoher man.
Who tied them In a knot.
And all the way to church and back
He blessed bis happy lot.
He said, "I'll boycott barber shop
And henceforth lay up pelf."
And he was right that's what he does.
But, oh, be ahaves himself.
When Women Vote.
"Do you know who I am going t
vote for for city clerk?"
"No, my dear. For whom are yoo
going to vote?"
"For Mr. Pinks."
"Binks? Who's Binks? I dldn'I
know that any one by that name is
"He lives over on the next street
and has a family to support. I think
It would be nice to have him for city
clerk because the salary is good and
he has thu cutest pair of little curly
headed twins that you ever saw."
Something to Hi
"I never heard
"Weil, be la
double life, is
"No, but thy
have a borrowing
Needed to B Grateful.
"I always do a I please."
T do, and no thanks to anybody."
"Then you ought to thank me."
"What for, I'd like to know?"
"Because I let you."
Taken For Granted.
"She managed to get a duke for a
"What did she pay for him?"
"I don't know. In polite circles they
do not speak of the cost of their luxu
ries." Too Sophisticated.
"So Le thinks he uuderstands wom
"And Isn't a married man?"
"That's the reuson."
"What are you doing."
"Looking for my f une."
"And when you iee it?"
"Well, let's hope I won't feel Ilka
making faces at it." ,
The American Youth.
He couldn't iak In foreign tonga;
His culture wiin l i lu.
He knew the bex-ball l.;tut(t,
With English on the :.
Was able to express l.lrriKelf.
And he was satia3-l.
Soreness of the mostles, whether In
luced by violent exercise or inj'ii;-.
is quickly relieved by the free ap,
cation of Chamberlain's Linimei:
This liniment "Is equally valuable fr
muscular rheumatism, and always af
'ords quick relief. Sold by all Cruz
VaJrvrsf Li LJ