Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLTD ARGUS, FRIDAY, AUGUST 4, 1911.
I THE ARGUS.
Psbnabed Xfly and Weekly at itJ4
Tec on 4 avenue. Rock Island. IU. En-
fcred at the poatofOca m second -claaa
BY THE J. W. POTTErt CO.
TERMS. Dally, 10 cents per WMk.
Weekly. 1 per year In advance.
All communications of arg-amentatlve
character, political or religious, moat
bava real name attached for publica
tion. No such, articles wUl be printed
over P.ctltlocs signatures.
Co rreepo ride nee solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Thursday, Aug. 3, 1911.
Potatoes are legal tender in Colo-
uui me irouoie is mey i
are Just as Lard, to get as any other
kind of legal tender.
The houSA crimiriittr-o whlh is in.
vestigating the stt-el trust has lt3 i
nerve in des'ricg to interrogate J. (
Pierpont Morgan. In all European I
countries there is a rule that kings t
need not testify.
According to a news Hem Mike Po
' sure, a Russian, who cannot speak
, English, was fined $20 in the Kansas
: City, Kan., municipal court for hav
ing used profane language on a
street car Saturday night. What's
" the answer?
The United States, England and
France have entered into a solemn
agreement to preserve peace among
, themselves. Now If Germany and
Japan can be induced to join the com-
' bination, it will be an international
truBt that the people will not only re-
Joice in, but take stock in.
Charles F. Murphy, the Tammanj
leader, says of gratitude: "The grat
itude that you meet with in polities
makes you think of the hired gUl
with 30 years of service behind her.
To this faithful old creature her mis
tress said: "My dear Martha, you
have now served us faithfully for
30 years. We shall henceforth re
gard you as a member of the fani
lij. You will receive ro wages."
Boys Saved the Union.
When we of this generation hear
the term, "boys of '61." we do not
associate them with, youth. To us
the phrase conveys the idea of gray
hairs and quavering throat tones. We
associate "the boys of "61" with
stooping shoulders and gnarled
bands that lean heavily on stout
And it is difflcnlt for us to under
stand that the "boys of '61" were
at the time the term was coined
boys in the literal sense of the word.
Yet such is the fact, as shown by D.
I. Woods, a clerk in the war depart
ment, who has been compiling sta
tistics regarding the ages of Union
soldiers. He has made it plain that
the affectionate title by which we
know the nation's defenders is no
mere figure of speech. The war for
the preservation of the Union was
fought by boys mere striplings.
A total of 2, 278, 588 were enlist
ed in the Union cause during the
struggle, and according to the figures
of Mr. Woods all but 118,000 of
them were less than 21 years old
when they took up arms. To be
more specific 1.000,000 were between
38 and 21; 307.OO0 were IS; C13.
000 were 17; 105,000 from 14 to
15: 3"0 were 13; 225 were 12;
thirty-eight were 11; and there wer
25 babies of 10 years.
Children they were in age and in
experience, those "boys of '61," but
In their young hearts there abided
a matured love cf country. It gave
to them such dignity as no passing
years could have conferred.
Their patriotism made men of
them in a night.
Heat In Kurope.
In certain important conditions j
the heated term from which Europe '
Is suffering has been worse than the j
extreme temperature which this'
country had to endure in June and j
early in July. The thermometer has
not registered quite as high marks j
In Germany, France and England as j
it did in many American cities and j
towns when the weather here was i
worst, but the effect upon human
health and comfort has been quite as!
serious in the old world.
The people of countries farther j
nor'h than the United States are un-
used t hct waves vhich visit sins j
jart of America every year are not I
prepared as weil S3 Americans are i
for such v tp.t'ur as l.a'f sj( Errope!
has been S'lutriug from for the last;
week cr so. Temperatures ranging i
from TO up to 100 cVgreea -n the!
fCaile in ti:;s like Berlin, Paris and,
London strike communities 'ahUh'
have scant facilities for making use .
of ire in f.ftrp'.Tig family provisions
"in good conditio:'.. Eurcre does not.
dress fi r hot weather as veil as :
America, at least. Europe north of!
the Mediterranean countries, does
net. Ti.e old world has much i
learn from the new in respect to
ventilating fans. i.-ed drinks ar.a -other
aids to coiafert in heated -terms.
For these reasons and because the t
'people cf countries I ke Germany,
France and England are rot acvus-;
Homed to great heat, a hot wave euch ;
Lr.s Europe had endured for many j
plays causes greater suffering and ,
rmoro deaths than similar tempera-j
'ture dees Jn the United States. The.
'darker part of Europe is ill prepared :
to endure either Intense beat or ex
What Is Beer?
That crude starch, glucose, brewing
syrups and chemical preservatives are
some times and in some places used in
the manufacture of beer, instead of
barley, malt and hops, is one of the
charges to be investigated by the
board of food and drug Inspectors,
headed by Dr. Wiley, who are seeking
to determine "what is beer?"
This and kindred charges are em
bodied in a paper submitted to the
board by ihe pure food committee of
the National Consumers' league, an
organization with headquarters in New
York. The National league and the
United States' Brewers' association are
the chief contestants so far appearing
at the hearings.
It is charged that the public are be
ing deceived in thinking that when
it buys beer it is getting the product
of barley, malt and hops, and that
"rice, starch, corn, brewers' sugar,
chemical preservatives, and other un
suspected ingredients really go into
the concoction that passes for beer."
In short, it is charged that the word
"beer" seen on a bottle these days
means nothing to the consumer be
cause he may be getting beer, and
he may be getting something that is
hardly a distant cousin to beer.
The pure food committee's paper
states "if the brewing Industry, with
its enormous financial interests behind
it, can escape the "rigid enforcement
of the pure food law while other con
cerns are not exempt from its provis
ions, then we have class legislation.
The league does not assert that other
giains used in beer are injurious Xo
health, but it does maintain that pre
servatives and chemicals should not be
used because they are injurious. The
labels on all malt liquors should tell
the truth, that they may be in accord
with ti e rigid enforcement of the food
and drugs act. Sixty-five million a
year is the auount of revenue the
government derives from beer says
Louis Schram, chairman of the ad
visory committee for the Brewers' as
sociaiion. He maintained that the in
gredients of beer are "potable water,
malted and unmalted cereals, hops,
yeast, and certain sugars."
It was admited that rice, corn, brew
ers' sugar and molasses are used "to
some extent" in making beer. The
carbonating of beer was also admitted.
Through Mr. Schram the brewers op
posed labeling and held that It was
Woman la Killed by Auto.
Kewanee, Aug. 4. Mrs. W. P. Cur
rier, aged 61, was killed yesterday by
an automobile driven by Mrs. J. Y.
Mayhew, wife of a business man. Mrs.
Currier was waiting in Main street
for a street car when run down.
To Visit New Asylum Sites.
Springfield, Aug. 4. Fiscal Super
visor Frank D. Whipp and Secretary
B. R. Burroughs of the state board
of administration were empowered
by the board to draft the itinerary
of a trip for the purpose of visiting
sites for the location of the new state
insane asylum. Seventy-one cities
want the new institution, the cost ot
which will be $1,500,000, and the
board is confronted with the task of
visiting each site before making a
choice of location about Sept. 15.
Two More Congressmen.
Chicago, Aug. 4. Illinois will gain
two congressmen by the new congres
sional apportionment bill passed by
the United States senate yesterday or
a total of 27 members. That means
that two congressmen-at-large to
be voted for by the entire state will
have to be elected next fall, as it is
not likely a special session of the
legislature will be called to redis-
MRS. HELEN BOYLE'S DIARY
Pittsburg. Aug. 4. The suppressed I
diary of Helen Boyle, who, with her
husband, James Boyle, la serving a
twenty-five-year sentence in the West"
era penitentiary of Pennsylvania for
the kidnaping of "Billy" Whitla, has
fallen into the hands of friends of the
convict couple, and it is rumored that
sensational details are to be made;
public, which will involve members of j
the Whitla family and persons who
were mott active in the prosecution
of the Boyles.
Those who are now in possession of
Mrs. Boyle's diary have expressed aj
firm determination- to publish its con-
teats broadcast, regardless of the j
scandal it will create. They say Mrs. j
Boyle is rapidly neartng death from '
the effects of Imprisonment and the t
terrible ordeal through which she has'
passed since the day that her husband ;
first nut litt'.e "Billy" Whitla in her i
care to be held for $20.0i0 ransom.
She is but a t-hadow of herself as
she appeared when the sentence,
whuh practically meant life -imprisonment,
was passed. Her vitality is
gone, and she apparently has lost in
terest in regaining her liberty. They
say she lives with but one hope, ore
idea in her mind as she languishes in
her cell in the penitentiary on the out
tl.irts cf this city. That is the desire
to remove a pan, at least, of the blot
of shame and calumny which the kld-cai-iia,;
cast upon her name by reveal
ing the true facts which led up to the
According to all reports. Mrs. Boyle
has kept the diary, which is also a
complete memoirs of the past few
years of her life, since the d3y that
te kidnaping of the Whit-a bey was
firot conceived. Every detail of the
plot, every act of those involved, ev
ery hope and desire of herself to un
trict the state. The same thing hap
pened In the national election of
1902. In the coming election, how
ever, with the republican party split
into factions and burdened by the
Lorimer scandal, the democrats are
believed to stand a good chance to
elect the two members at large. It
is probable that each party will nom
inate a Chicagoan for one of the
places and a down-state man for the
other. The new apportionment will
also give each party in the state four
additional delegates to the national
conventions of next year. Those four
will also be "at large" making eight
representing the whole state instead
of four as heretofore, and the state
will have a total delegation to na
tional conventions of 55 -instead of
54 as heretofore. Under the new ap
portionment Illinois still will have
the third largest delegation in con
gress and national conventions, New
York remaining first and Pennsyl
vania second. In nat-onal conven
tions New York will have 90 dele
gates and Pennsylvania 78.
Deneen Appoints Commission.
Springfield, Aug. 4. Governor De
neen announced his appointments to
the Illinois rivers and lake commis
sion, which was created by the leg
islature this year, to have jurisdic
tion over all waters wuhia the state
The members are:
Robert R. McCormick, former
president of the Chicago sanitary dis
trict. Isham Randolph, Chicago.
Arthur W. Charles, Carmi.
The commission was created by a
bill introduced by B. M. Chiperfield
as one outcome of the investigations
which a special legislative commit
tee made into the matter of sub
merged lands and "land-grabbers."
HURST IS URGED FOR
GOVERNOR BY ADMIR
ERS IN WASHINGTON
(Continued from Page One.)
and entered the fight he would not
only have been nominated but elect
ed. His friends, all without con-
I suiting him, believe that the oppor
tune moment is now at hand, and
so they are -pushing his canidacy.
They admire his character, not the
least of the most conspicuous trait
of which his modesty and utter ab
sence of self-seeking. They feel that
he represents in a more pronounced
degree than the average man the
principals that the office should seek
the man and that if he becomes con
vinced, without any effort on hi3
part, that he is the man his party
wants, he will consent to the use of
He Is one of the be6t types of self
made man that the country produces.
From humble beginning he has won
his way to fortune and achieved what
is more than riches in a good name
by unaided struggle and honest en
deavor. His ability is unquestion
ed and if he should decide to become
an avowed candidate he would, if
nominated, in all probability be
elected, in which event his friends
predict he would prove a model gov
ernor of the great commonwealth in
which he was born and in which he
has spent all his life, which is now
just at its prime.
THE DEMOCRATIC OPPORTrXITV.
The Interest in Washington In Illi
nois politics, and particularly to the
democratic side of it, is due to the
fact that so far as the state tftket Is
concerned, at least, the democrats
seem sure of victory, if they name a
clean man for governor and are like
wise careful in the composition of
the remainder of the ticket.
Ice Famine in London.
London, Eng., Aug. 4. A prolong
ed spell of hot weather has caused
an Ice famine and the demands of
London and provincial centers for
ice cannot be satisfied until the ar
rival of cargoes enroute from Nor
way. tangle herself from Its maze after It
had been committed and live the life
of refinement and respectability to
which she was educated are said to
be contained in the diary.
It is said that she has outwitted de
tectives, prison officials and even the
penitentiary warden, in their efforts to
get possession of the record. When
she first entered the penitentiary to
begin her long term, friends to whom
she had intrusted the diary smuggled
it in to her, a few pages at a time, in
Every day she has made entries of
her thoughts and actions and enlarged
upon the former records by flashes of
her recollection. There has been
many attempts to get the book, but
she has defeated them.
That there is some substance cf
truth in her record and the charges
against persons whom she has impli
cated ia-the kidnaping is proven by a
paragraph relating to the efforts of a
detective to secure the convictions of
herself and husband.
"Perkins will some day plead before
a court for the mercy he ha.3 re
fused to grant others," is one of the
By a strange twist of fate a detec
tive by that rame who wa3 involved
in the Whitla case is now on trial for
writing ' Black Iland' letters to a
Pittsburg millionaire for the purpose
of extorting money.
There is something weird about this
one paragraph, which is followed by
"Retribution for wrongs committed
against a defenseless woman, whose
lips were sealed when she was being
tried for her liberty and honor, is In
evitable." Both Boyle and his wife charge that
their testimony was suppressed at the j
" Fulfill your works, your
Whenever 1 re -able seems to br
Too olanty in thus lift of mfnm
I mind iJ' hint that come to n
from one jmart morn in' glory na
It jtarted jfrotvin' in th' yard
Three feet ctvey rem on or jttimpt
I jeti to it: "your lucK'J vlutnb hard. .
'Cauje mornin' glory inej can't jump."
Welt. j!r. it didn't hesitate
Jejt jtarted right atvax to ctimhl
It found a tveed that bore itj freight
An' Kept a boo j tin' all the time,
Vntil at lajt it jtrucK th' tops
It jeemed to get jome tvorried there.
I jez: "Old man. you'll haxie to drop
you can't climb, nohote. through th' air."
JLoeKed UK right t it jagged and drooped
An' teuijted half a dozen tmayj
Till it tuaj Knotted, avrapped o.-irf looped
It Kept thij up for four -fixfe day a
jKn' I tuaj ticKfcd; I aayj I:
"' often felt the jame aj yots
Found out I couldn't get up high
'Ithout no repej to grip oil tot"
Seem' Ii'Ke that mornin' glory Knotted
That I kraj -detain' it tilth doubts
It jent out feeler j till it J hooted
It Kneto Jejt tuhat it araj about t
At lajt it jtrucK. th' jtumpt An' then
It jeemed to laugh at me all day
An' jort o' chucKle notmf an' then:
"you Jee. I got here, any bv ay I "
A moral goes tvith thlj. I guejjt
It ij that almojt any man
Won't climb jo tlery much, unless
He grabs to somethin' tethere he son.
Them plucKy mornin' glories, notv.
All they asK is for elbou room
An' they'll Keep going up. somehoto.
Until they laugh themselves to bloon..
The Argus Daily Short Story
A Present for Eramerett By Clarissa Mackie.
Copyrighted, 1911, by Associated Literary Press.
Raymond blurted his startling an
nouncement and dodged out of the
bunk house, liis three comrades stared
open mouthed at one another until
Pepper broke the silence.
"Married!" he uttered dazedly. "Did
he say that?"
Tony Goff solemnly nodded. "And
he said her name is Emmerett Hodge,"
he said in an awed tone.
"Emmerett Ilodge?" repeated Prole
bitterly. "A girl with a name like
that always has a tony wedding.
What did Raymond say about It? 1
didn't sense it all, I was so flabber
gasted." "As near as I can r'collect he said
there was to be a fancy time at her
bouse and we was invited. Tony here
has got to stand up with the bride
groom." Jink Prole un jointed his long legs
and stood erect, towering above the
other two. "What about a weddin'
present?" he demanded.
"That's easy. We'll all chip In and
git Mrs. Carwood to buy it down to
Penfield. Wimmen always know what
Tony Goff shook bis head. "Nix on
that. Pepper. Why, Raymond's been
our mate for three years ever since
I come to the Twin Sar. I feel
mighty friendly to him. I reckon all
of us do, and we must pick out the
present ourselves. What sa-ay?"
The others noddei assent, and as it
happened that the morrow wts the
monthly pay day they decided to ride
over to Penfield the next afternoon
and select a wedding gift for Ray
With pockets weil lined and bronzed
faces portentously solemn with the
import of their mission, the three set
forth on the twenty mile ride from the
Twin Star cattle ranch to the largest
town in the county.
They stopped at Red Spider for the
mail, and the three wedding invita
tions that faced them nearly caused a
stampede. Jink Prole siared unhappi
ly at the enraved words.
"I dunno," he hesitated. "It might
be this present business oughter be did
by an expert. If we should make a
mistake she the lady Emmerett
might take offense at what we got."
Tony Goff tucked his envelope away
and prepared to smoke. "There ain't
no use losing your nerve," he said at
length, "i'ou braced to the Job, and
we got. to carry it through. Mebbe we
ain't got to go clean to Penfield. What
yon think of that lamp in Cox's win
der?" lie pointed a lean forefinger at
the dusty, fly spotted merchandise dis
played by the postmaster.
The three surveyed it longingly.
It was a tall lamp of pink glass and
when freed from dust and lighted
niight cast an added rosy glow over
the future pf the newly wedded pair.
Mr. Pepper strode to the door and
bawled an Inquiry.
He returned and flung: himself on
his horse. "Three ninety -eight. Includ
ing the shade," he repeated contemp
tuously laad U J1tk a hundred in
daily tasks." Exodus v, 15.
by W. O. Chaptnu.
our pocifats to spend!"
With one accord they resumed the
journey to Penfield, leaving behind the
dark shadowing mountains with the
last glimmer of the sunset 'along the
upper ridges. It was after dark when
they pounded Into the town, and, huD
gry and thirsty, they made their way
to a restaurant and satisfied their ap
petites. Afterward they entered the Farnum
emporium, a maze of narrow aisles
running between shelves and counters
laden with glass and china la every
conceivable form of fragility. The
6ide walls of the store were lined with
counters upon which were pUed house
hold wares, while the rear presented
a gloomy barricade of furniture against
a .background of gaudy carpets.
Jink Prole sidestepped down an
aisle and reached the barricade Just
as a pretty girl arose from a chair and
laid down a piece of fancy work.
"What can I do for you?" she asked
Before the tall ranchman could an
swer there came a terrific crash and
the sound of splintering glass bleDded
with startled profanity.
"Oh!" exclaimed the girl. "That's
real cut glass!"
" 'Tis considerable cnt up," agreed
Prole as they reached the scene of
disaster, where Pepper and Tony Goff
stood staring down at the havoc they
had created. "How'.l you manage to
clean off the bull shelf?"
Mr. Pepper twisted hLs Ion? mustache
ruefully. "Of course it can't be because
it's narrow gauge here. We squoze
ourselves as well's we, cuuld, but sjme
how there wan't no place for elbows.
Now, miss, what's the damage?" He
dug his nand deep into a poetct and
brought forth his month's pay. J40.
The girl knelt upon the floor and
bent her head above the fragments,
piecing them together with little dis
mayed exclamations. At last she tossed
back her rahsty black hair and looked
np at them with slowly ciimsouint
"It's too bad," she said regretfully,
"but this la real cut glass, and it's aw
ful expensive. There was a water bot
tle and six tumblers $10 fur the hut
tie and $2 apiece for the tumblers.
That's 522. I'm awful sorry T'
Without a word Pepper and Goff
each laid fll on the shelf. The r.rl
took it reluctantly. "I told Mr. I'ar
nam he had the shelves too crowded
to be safe," she said. "You've paid for
these things. Would they do you any
good if I was to mend 'em for you?
You could use 'em for ornaments."
"Kary. miss; they ain't any good to
us. We're looking for what are we
looking for, Prole?" demanded Goff lm-
i "A wedding present," drawled Mr.
Prole, gingerly withdrawing from the
perilous vicinity of breakable. "We
thought of a pink glass lamp, but It
don't cost enough. Have you got a
real expensive 'luminator. mUT'
TheIrl smiled and led the wejr to
sneiT laden with a flower bed of col
ored lamps. She glanced at the price
tags and then said: "This one for $12
is the most expensive one. It's very
The three surveyed the lamp doubt
fully. It was a small lamp of brass,
with an elaborate shade set with pink
"It don't cost enough." said Prole
with regret. "It's mighty pretty, miss,
but we couldn't hand out no measly
present like that to Emmerett. Snow
us something better."
The girl stifled an exclamation and
took them to a case full of silverware.
As they gravely examined knives and
forks the girl watched them uneasily.
At last, flushing deeply, she spoke.
"Most any girl would think that lam
was a nice present"
They shook their heads negatively.
"It's got to be something pretty nice
and tasty," said Tony Goff; "you see,
her name's Emmerett. and a girl that
has that bundle to her is used to good
"We couldn't get anything poor look
ing," added Pepper, and Jink Prole
"It's a nice lamp," persisted the girL
"We might git four or Ave lamps
enough for the hull bouse. Let's look
at them again." Jink Trole turned
suddenly to lead the way back to the
lamps; his sharp elbow dug Into Tony
GoflTs ribs, and that stout gentleman
leaped backward to fall heavily
against one of the cblna laden tables.
When the clattering crash had died
into silence Mr. Goff picked himself
out of a debris of broken dinner sets
to confront an Irate little man who
danced wildly before them and de
manded instant reimbursement for his
It required the nnlted efforts of Tony
GofTs companions to convince the an
gry proprietor that the offense was
"You can't fool me!" be spattered
loudly. "I had a place shot up oncet
in Dead Eye and they didn't leave so
much as a glass salt cellar wiped out
my hull stock of china and glassware
"Drop it, confound ye!" growled Jink
Prole. "Jest you compose your little
bunch of cinnamon sldewhlskers and
git down and count up your loss. I
reckon we can pay fer what we break.
We're a-shoppin' for cut glass and cut
china, and we've paid fer $22 worth al
ready." The three ranchmen stood rigidly
in their tracks while Mr. Farnum and
the black haired girl took inventory
of the shattered crockery. Many of
the pieces of various dinner sets were
whole and there were several vases
that were cracked or only slightly bro
ken. These Mr. Farnum announced
would be a total loss to him and the
ranchmen might as well carry them
Six dinner sets and four vases and
a glass water pitcher had gone down
to destruction, and Mr. Farnum dole
fully announced that $00 would barely
cover the wholesale price.
In silence the ?0O was handed over.
while the girl stood near with down
"AH these pieces that oln't broke be
long to you gentlemen." remarked Mr
Farnum magnanimously. "Of course
they ain't no use to me because none
of 'em match anything else I've In
stock. There's cups and saucers and
"I guess, we'll be goin along." In
tcrrupted Prole slowly as he thrust his
phare of the remaining $S buck iu hi
pocket. "We've spent about all the
money we reckmed on in this here
place. There's n mighty pretty little
pink lump up in Red Spider fer three
ninety-eight what will have to do fer
The girl flashed a glance at the re
treating form of her employer and
then laid n hand on Jink Prole's sieeve.
She was laughing, but the tears were
In her eyes.
"Don't you dure buy that pink lamp,"
she whispered. "You set out to get
the nicest present you knew how for
that girl, and it Nu't your fault that
you've lost your money. You take all
the dishes, and I'll mend the glass
water set and you give 'em to her for
the wedding present, and I reckon
she'll be proud to think what was In
yonr hearts, atid that's what matters
anyway!" She paused breathlessly,
her eyes like stars, her cheeks pink
"How d'you know she would rather
have this truck?" Jink Prole swept a
long arm over the broken china and
e3-ed her doubtfully.
"Because I'm Emmerett!" she said
The three st tired down at her In de
lighted amazement. Then three band
t-Ufjt out to grunp hers, and JiLik Prole
sio!;e again. "We might a known Ray
mond's girl would be like this." he
"We was afr:. id of your long name,"
grinned Pepper sheepishly.
"We kin hhorten !l and call her Mbs
Raymond," put in Tony Goff iauoceut-
Mis3 Hortpe uplifted a slim brown
finder, and her checks dimpled under
their frleinlly admiration.
"Don't you dare okII me anything but
Emmerett."' the said seveitly.
Aug. 4 in American
171 Isaac Hayne, American patriot,
hanged at Charleston by the Brit
ish; born 171-".
l.SSUl Samuel Jons Tiidn, Democrat
ic caiid.'lale for president In 1S"C
di--d; born 114.
1010 Senator Gore told a congression
al committee that bribe had been
offc-red to Mm in connection with
Indian land contracts.
President Waives Order.
Washington, Aug. 4. To permit
Sylvester Bartlet, field superintend
ent of the bureau of finhc-rlc-s to con
tinue as secretary of the Illinois iijii
commission. President Taft has
waived an order which forbids fed
eral officers holding ttato vr munici
2lr HJCAJt M. SMITH
THE SHORT CUT.
A SWEET Italian stng-er.
Although unknown to fan-.e,
Was anxious. noJlns money.
To break Into thp fraroa.
And did he sing: like fury
To catch th? paying tart
No: jumplni; from a liner,
lie ewam in to ttio pier.
A lawyer wrote lecture
So eloquent ami c!mr
It would have charmed the minion
IIal they come out to hfar.
And did ha from the platform
To empty bn-hs gush?
Not much I lie bluggixl a plcala.
And tuslnesa ti a rush.
pretty little actreea
Had presence, voles and wtt,
ut somehow with producers
She couldn't moka a hit.
She did not bathe l.-.-r eyelids
In tears In her dlstreaa.
She ran a Broad- ay trolley
And. scored a IU aucco&a.
T1s not the finished artist
That people pay to hear.
Tla one who with the burs saw
Has monkeyed without fear.
Do something- quite outrageous
To make the people talk
And then you win tholr fancy
And get there In a walk.
"What did they quarrel over?"
"What was tholr idea?"
"So they could kiss aud make tip.'
Endeavored to Please.
"Oh, Jack, you dear old lmpoRsthll
creature, you ought to have known
that I could never marry you, but ot
course I will always be a sister to
"Ob, can't you be more than that?"
"Come to thluk of it. I mlant be a
sister-in-law. There is my oldest sis
ter Mabel; she is getting so far along
that she would have anybody. Dear
Jack, won't you please marry ber for
"I say you should never put oft till
tomorrow the fuu you can have to
day." "There mifrht be some use iu It.
"Put it luUrbt Upoil."
"That is offset by the fact that by
tomorrow you mip;ht interest some
gink who would pay the bill."
Due to Bo Owned Soon.
"lie act.s peculiarly."
"Well, for all that he's nobody's
"That may be, but"
"I saw that blond girl training him
"My wife never tulLs."
"How long has she Leen paralyzed?"
Chance to Spend.
"He Is pretty well fixed. Isn't he?"
"Yes. fairly well, but ho Is poorer
than he was hist week." x
"Made Home foolli-li Investment?"
"No; the boss gave him his old au
tomobile." When the Cat's Away. '
"Brown's wife is out of town."
"I notice he hn got hi hair cut and
his hhoes shfned."
If two of every n.lcrohe
Wa:i loail'nl on tt.e Hlilp
V'hi ,i In th'i cuIm t . nrk took
It i .bM l.av- t f'ir' u.sn und anwU
A most ur.t.eulthy trl.
I'erh'ips the r-;isori pc.,! like to t-',o
camplr:; i hwau-e it make the cotu
fort.s of hoiije m dear by contrast.
We feel like p!f!f;.r urselvei be
cause we feel in our lhrmi-t wuN that
nobody else will j a go'! jol of it.
Ko rre person.- find it rx-cexKary to be
persecutors lu order to be happy.
A wine man may make a mistake,
but to wlrfe man keeps on making It.
The dismal n-s ar- Iho. e that feel
sorry whti you feel glad.
The man who U renl.y independent
Is the or:e who diwsa't Cud it tieces
sary to demouKtrato it.
Keep your temper. No one else
The man who LIdf-3 urbr anonymity
has something to be ashamed of.
Never give up. Pad luck wUl tire
of you permanently after awhile.
In buying a cough medicine, don't ha
afraid to get Ctun:ijriah.'s Coufeh
Remedy. There is no danger from It,
und relief is sure to follow. Espec
ially recommended for coughs, colds
and wheeling cough. Sold by
- V Wanted the E