Newspaper Page Text
THTC ROCK ISIiAND ARGUS, SATURDAY. SEPTEMB ER 23, 1911.
B 1 CHORDS AND DISCORDS
BY J..M. C.
AX OTHER BOX OFFICE STORY.
Louis Francis Brown, manager of
the Burton Holmes travelogues, adds
another to his list of box office stories:
"I was sitting In the box office of a
large and well known hall not many
miles from Boston. Mr. Holmes had
lectured there the night before and was
to repeat the travelogue that after-
old folks for?" and she showed him i ginger ale, buttermilk. Ice wa:er, tea,
the telegram, which the operator had j coffee, and what not, and then wonders
made to read: "hy the fires under the boiler do not
'Bring pa and ma. burn. It you should take an ox and put
him through a like performance, he
As the gray dawn cf the morning
police justice on the morning after and
j to get your name into it as soon as the
! cards are issued two weeks before. It
is what is "just too horrid and inquisi
j tire for anything and please keep my
name out" when the reporter wishes to
know about the bridge whist club , and
which is the mean old sheet that never
gets anything right when your name is
omitted from among those present. It
is what no one ever forgets to con
demn for its mistakes and never re-
would be dead in a month. The sim
Dlest and nlainest laws of health are
after broke through an opening in outraged every day by the average J members to praise for the good It ac
their cell at the Rock Island city jail man. Did Adam smoke? Did Eve complishes. It is subsidized when it
the other dav. two hoboes awoke and ' wear a corset? Did Solomon chew i T aPOUl we millionaire s wire
noon. The nleaalne murmur of the exehansred remorseful elances. me , toDaccoT iia Kutn cnew gumi uia . --- - iwnuu,au, allu
treasurer's voice reiterating
many, please?' and TTbat
'How f throats of both were parched.
price, j began to talk of world events.
please?" had continued with satlsfao-
fry monotony for an hour or so, when
was rudely awakened from my vis
ions of 'capacity business' by the fol
lowing anxious queries, projected by a
voice distinctly New England in tone
" 'Say, ye didn't find my satchel last
night, did ye?'
" 'What kind was it?' (from the
" 'Oh, a regular Boston bag-cloth
sides two handles.'
"'Yw'fcat color was it?'
They the children of Israel make for a beer j a libelous rag when it reports your po-
! garden after crossing the Red sea? ce court tnai ior Killing your neigh-
"Who. In vour opinion, was the great- j Did Rebecca eat gum drops, choco-
est man on earth?" i -ate bon-bons and ice cream and call
."Well how about our Savior?" j for soda water? Adam was the first
"Pretty big man, but hasn't done j man and was made perfect from head
to heel. How long would he remain
EW COLOR SCHEME.
(From Devil's Lake Inter-Ocean.)
The bridesmaid, with Miss Minnie
Traynor, sister of the bride, came first,
walking with the groom, and she was
gowned in dainty bridesmaid's gown
of white embroidery with large black
much for me."
"George Washington pretty good j after eating pie before going to bed?
fellow, eh?" i Suppose he had slept in a bedroom
"Yes, but " 1 5x7, with the windows closed down,
"I got him, the fellow that invented j the doors shut and had two dogs under
ice water." I the bed? Suppose Eve had laced up j man. John Harvey, and wore a bridal
"You're right. Let's see; who was ; in a corset, wore tight shoes with ! gown of golden tan messallne trimmed
that scout?" French heels, hobble fig leaf 6kirts, ! with creme bebe Irish lace. Her flow-
tub hats, and set up all hours of the : ers were bride's roses arranged in an
QriT Rt BBEniNG, tom. ; night eating chicken salad and Welsh hat and arm bouquet of pink roses.
"'Black. I guess 'twas black with i Prague, Bohemia. Sept. 16. Thomas ' rarebit and trying to keep on
russet, leather ends.' " j A. Edison arrived here from Budapest j founds of dead people's hair?
'"Did it have anything in it to iden-! Thursday evening. He motored by way j
tify it?' !of Oeeburg and Brann, which carried, where did he get it
"'No. there warn't nothln' in it, I him through the wildest gypsy-haunted j (Owensville, 111., Star.)
guess. Oh, yes, there was, too; it had ; lands of Hungary, and through Bone- j Editor J. W. Cockrum, wife and
the old lady's front teeth in it, by gosh, mia's finest fields. He says j daughter. Miss Dorothv. and Robin
The bride walked with groom's best
arm bouquet and she wore a large
plumed picture hat.
some rvTRODrcnox, b. m.
(From Speech by Mayor of Abingdon,
It is an eminent satisfaction to re
alize that our men and women have
daughter, Miss Dorothy.
and she needs 'em tonight-she's goin' : the straight lines of the present-day , Prilchett of 0akland cltjr were the
to n rhnrrh aro1ahl ' " I bnrm sVirta hurt hs fv t
; guests 01 rnencs m mis city &unaay. j got far enough along to keenly enjoy
KINGS x, gab. They made the trip in Mr. Cockrum's a real delight in rambling through the
Mile. Gaby DesljB. who is in this j automobile. We had the pleasure of 'jungles of human conceptions assem
country with 60 hats, CO pairs of stock- j meeting the editor and were highly j bled and tendered to the public through
ings and all her pearls for the purpose ; elated with the first acquaintance. Mr. i the medium of the modern summer
cf dazzling in vaudeville, announces ! t'ockrum is the only editor we have : Chautauqua. This instinct to penetrate
that if anybody attempts to advertise had 'he pleasure of meeting who owns j the mysteries of the unknown Is prob
her by exploiting her relations with'ad operates an automobile, and he ably the divine afflatus that lifts the
says he made it all with a country ; intellectual lifting machine which car-
newspaper. This should be cheering j ries humanity above the squalor and
prime of brutality, up to the mountain
peaks of mercy, altruism and justice.
Ideas are invisible blessings craving
protection, preservation and shelter in
good to feed upon. The Lincoln Chau
tauqua is on deck with its banquet of
brain food. It is here with the gcods.
Its canvas ravilion now shelters us, j
and Its hampels of noodle nourishment j
are ready to be opened and served, j
The torrent of thought is ready to be j
turned on. and the hopper of Abing-;
don's intellectuality has been primed j
for the reception of the psychological
0" DA5GEROtS GROVTVD.
(From Hillsdale Post.)
Willie Schwenecker was a business
caller in Erie Monday morning be
People of the Tri-Cities
SHE TRIED TO ODET.
Eddie Foy, at the Lamb's club gam
bol In New York, told a Panama hat
"A young clerk out my way," he
said, "gave his girl a present of a
Panama last year. Then, the day before
the Fourth, he got a couple of com-! former King Manuel
she will cancel
AGRICII-TI HU, XOTE.
Upton Sinclair's fa?her-in-law refers
to him as "an unrne persimmon." Mrs.
Sinclair, we believe, clung to her first
definition, in which she guardedly re-
plimentaries for a picnic, clam bake
and corn roast down the river, and he
wired the girl:
"'Meet me at Pier 13 tomorrow morn
ing at 7. Picnic. Bring Panama." '
"The next morning as he stood on i
Pier 13 dreaming dreams of love, im-.
agining a long, sweet day of billing J ferred to l.im as a lemon.
and cooing, he saw his girl advancing i
with her father and mother. He was j bit eve n n no r omim: tition.
terribly annoyed, and on the boat, as! (From Elmwocd Gazette.)
soon as he could get her alone, he j Man drinks whisky, and that clogs
hissed: : the valves; he drinks beer, and that
"What did you want to bring theidofrs the wheels; he downs lemonade,
news to the balance of the "profesh"
and tend to inspire them.
CIDER AND CORN".
( Orion Correspondence in Milan News.) 1 the belfry of the temple of the soul.
William Huston helped George Der
rickson make cider Friday.
; Lecturers are specialists in the rera
j of ideas. They are expert in stringTlig
Leonard Johnston cut corn for George '. them into pleasing galazies of thought.
Robert McGimpsey shocked corn for
Thomas Kerr Saturday.
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO
IT HAS EEK 11EE THIS.
(From Quiucy, 111.. Times.)
A newspaper is a thing that every
person in town knews how to run ex
cept the editor. It is what should be tions in poetic prose with lucid explan
a:i even for roasts on everyone except ! ntions on waves of silvery sound to
They frame up graceful and bewitch
ing disquisitions supporting the tenet
they would teach and with diplomatic
system support the central ideas with
charming clusters of corroborative sen
timent until their proposition becomes
amazingly irresistible. And then with
trained thorax they send their admoni-
(From The Arus Files of l.SSC.) ; Ben
Monday, aept. 2J. The l iiion tstieet tonio.
railway has raised its stock to $3),o
Mrs. W. S. Marquis and children
have returned from a month's vit-.it at
A wrril'le wind storm visiu-d Buck
Islai J tia'-jrday aftvi n u at aiiotu 0
o'clock, causing reit destruction 'f
property. 'I he steamer Josephine had
Just gotten unler headway down
stream, and was opposite the Hock Is
land i'io A- works w hen the storm came
up, and the only thing which prevent
ed it cupstziLg was the fact that its
nose wad towards the wind. The St.
Paul of the White Collar line had a
tussle with the wind below here, at
the end of which it found itself on a
sand tar. The ferry, which had U-ft
the Rock Island shore, was forced ba.k
into the slough and landed near the
Rock Island & Peoria depot, on a bar.
many of the passengers being so bud
ly frightened that they leaped into t!:e
water atid waded to the shore. A blast
of wind struck the waiting room on
the ferry dock and blew it to si Injurs.
When the storm came up, Phil Mitch-
T. Cable 1. .3
Tc .a-i. t j - ict
The nrrenLack'-rs .
i'.cek !l,ii:il coru'i-s 1.
bit '. e cur. Vt !; n ;i' Oii
A ye'i'ip m.-iii livin -. i:. tin
(.1 tow:. kl 'rckiw
t:n.' a M a m.t chew
is f.is!!id to th ItuiKhrg
.V .Math's c'iifec; toiii iv o;
t:i.e. la.-1 eni:i; '!!:.
ti.ses a hair !: ori i:u
i u i'.-tit.iic f :!nd i.aui v -
sius, where tliy
higher titan ti.'- fits
;ti.;. are a ti : : ;t :.
l: J by c: i;:.a:H-.?.
--an A:i- '
;;irs.ef, members of your family ami
i few cf your particular f: lends for
r Ton; it sho't'd be a sweet scented bou
, .et of praiirO. It is what you want to
-.ee th" editor keep your name cut of.
footi as you have settled with the ;
the eager ear of their audience, from
win tire they carom to the brain, in
their iiest for rootag" and a chance to
VISIBLE AND INVISIBLE.
(From Galena Journal.)
"Sampy" Bastian of your city was
visible on our streets last Wednesday.
. Sheriff Irwin was visible on our
treeta Friday afternoon, having la
custody Henry Schunk. who with his j
brother and a Mr. Carberg are accused
of a serious crime. Mr. Schunk was
taken to the county jail.
Theo Coleman and a party of his
friends were motoring from Galena the
other evening. On the way they ran
over a little animal with a ring around
its neck. Can you guess its name?
IN SCHOOL DAYS.
(From Freeport Bulletin.)
Robert Gelsey, son of Mr. and Mrs
Charles Geisey, is suffering fronm an
Illness, the nature of which is un
known to several physicians who have
been called on the case. Robert, who
is seven years old , feels perfectly
well while In bed and spends the time
singing and reading there, as though
he had never had an illness during his
life. Immediately upon arising he is
taken with serious pains about the I
head and becomes violently ill. Upon j
being placed in a lying position he j
quickly recovers. He has been ill
MORE CORN TROI H1.E.
(From Stark County News.)
"Willie and Ivan Perrill helped Elva
Gingrich with his corn one day last
HOLDS HER IN FAMILY.
(From Stark County News.)
A Kirkwood man has wrenched the
record by marrying his father's wid
ow. She had been the father's second
wife, but was divorced from him, and
the son had grown so used to having
her around that he annexed her himself.
Loses Valuable Dogs. j
A large hunting dog owned by Miss i
Johnson, 1132 First avenue, was run;
down and killed by a street car on Sec-:
ond aiciti i Last weeu. a doe of the
pullulate nd grow. The mind finds op-1 same breed, owned by Miss Johnson,'
I'crtunity in thi3 necPssitiou3 diversion I was killed when struck by an automo-l
to s. retch cut and grab off something j bile.
Sept. 25. to 30
One Big Gala Week, Including Exhibitions by
LINCOLN BEACHEY i
The World's Greatest Aviator
Aviation Exhibition Tuesday and Wednesday,
September 26 and 27
Big Carnival By Parker
Amusement Company All Week
Thursday Will be Old Soldiers?
and Old Settlers' Day
Parade and Good Program Arranged.
Big Baseball Tournament Tuesday,
Wednesday and Thursday.
Free Acts,, Bands Galore and a Good Time for
BIG PRIZES OFFERED FOR FARM PRODUCTS
One Solid Week, Sept. 25 to 30
ci:J a -.-
. -3 a I i i'i
; s'a.rs. Oj-
' v- 1
l.:p ..:!.. .1 l.;J
t i a b.-.;;d-
:&LL EYES WILL CENTE
Wednesday. T,. is Moii::; a: .1 Kn.' ';
io'.and ho.se railway s!,o :M jrovitie
certain of its dii.tr ei;h-.r with spec
;c:es or a !isp::-io'i to do their duty
thy are ( rpected to i.r'.si ej:.?rg
:! a few m'vi'cs hefcrr- 0 p lady ha'Ied
a ar on o::d avrnue near Sew .1-
leoi.ui srr e:. out the t; river appei
to be in too much of a huiry (?)
f 1 ill ft (TtM
ell was In the office at the glass works, ai U "ul"'"'s'2",J!"S iaac peop;g
and rushed out to close a treat door : "IonR ,fce s,r'? t and vf !!-',i-
into Bhed In the rear An hp was and 8 br'-V ( V n TO.'-' to the lady. tO
about to'do so. it fell upon him. break
ing his left arm above the elbow ar:d i
bruising his arm to the shoulder A
chimney fell at the glass works and j
i driver heeded not. ard the lady was
I forced either to waiX or wait 20 min
utes for another ear. She walked.
the iron roof in the mixing room cawd
in. Telephone wires were broken as
far north as Hampton and east ae far
as Toulon. An immense pane of glass
worth $75 in Im's grocery was brok
en by a piece of Tying timber. The
north side of the roof of the Reck Is
land & Peoria depot was ripped up and
plate scattered to the winds. The lum
ber piles in Weyerhaeuser & Denk
mann's yards were playthings for the
wind and boards were scattered all
ever the lower part of town. The ice
houses of Siegrist Bros, and Kahike
r?ros. were Mown down, en'aihng a
lots of ,-,'0.
Tuesday. 1. S. McCabe returned
from a business trip last evening.
Herbert O. niakemore has gone to
Denver for the beneht cf his health.
Thursday. The Siipin Hn. e com
I any will have a picnic on Sylvan is
j land next Saturday, postponed from
j last Saturday, when the rain ict -r-j
! They are having a crr-at tine .lown
I a: AK-do this v.-r-fk at, the Mercer rouu-
1 1 '
S5C5S2SS3SS3SSSSA CHAIN IS NO STRONGER THAN ITS WEAKEST LINK
1 Ro Weak Links in Our Chain of Dependable .Home (
nmtting largams 8
fair. Prune- ;s th-re v.Ith some u:' L
is trotters, and is making :hings lHe- (1
on the turf. : W
o t-i miT rl-rtlov-inr. -ir no-Tr fill linoo fl-iof o -r a a rm TTi n rr lailfr .Tiiat. rflfPivprl n lnrrr RniriTYiPnt. nt T. r a. s nnrl iron Kprist flfin
? Dressers in all styles and finishes; also Rugs and Carpets galore. You'll find hundreds of equally as good values throughout the Jj
Big Store as the few quoted beiow which we sell for cash This means a saving of SO to 50 per cent over long installment prices.
o ja p " c. v ,
What a chain of bargains means at the BIG STOKE fSote ths Savings
Sat urd.-.y. Rock Islr.nd is one of tho
-ery few ei:i s in the I'ritod Sia'es
where the repiiblici.n postmaster has
no been decapitated ere this. Major
Hawes has so far succeFsfully run the ;
fiauntlet of his political eiemies, and
now. nearly two years after the elec
ticn cf President Cleveland, still pre
sides over the destinies of the Rock
( olonlal Extension Table Ot
Family 1 heatr.
MONDAY, SEPT. 25, FOR ONE DAY ONLY.
Special engagement of the talented actress,
1SS MARTHA RU
Late leading lady of Essanay Film company, presenting
her own photo plays and a complete lecture how motion
pictures are made. This attraction in addition to the
FRICES THIS DAY ONLY 10 CENTS.
TTg.fa sawed oak. Ex
tensa to six reet
special t It; 7K
,0: solid oak. extends 6 ft. at $9.9"
oak Buffeta, highly
polished and finish
ed, large French
plate mirror, large
base, two small
drawers, one lined
for Bilverware, one
larger drawer for
linens, only $19..
Box Leather Seat Pin
ers like cat, worth
$3.50 each, of quarter
eawed oak, strong as
well as ornamental.
I'Rrlor Set, $27. "o value, consisting of
Z pi-3 in triij)t;any Ilnl.-ih, upnol
Ft'T d in het ura'lp velour loouo cush
lor.H A t! attriict'on nt . -8i31.IC
Brass Beds Worth
f 15.00 two inch
five V-lnrh fillers.
Frns Beds, $25.00 raloes, 2-inch con
tinuous poets, inasBive husks, six 1
Inch fillers, ball mount, brass or
f.atin f.nisb. a
g air:r:.:. o r.T?!.... J2.85 aT?:!1.... 10.98 ff tr. 511.85 MiM
OUB LEADER FELT
la all its nam
good tick well
equal of many J
told at 110.00;
Solid Oak Dresser,
similar to cut,
worth $16.75, extra
large and roomy, 4
2b 5 0 French mirror.
Vf-niN Martin Bed,
f jII 2-!ncn contlnu-
ous pOStB, G OIl''-
li.t h lilli'is; rwlA.
L-rtt Ecanil'-3K fte'd
Unsurpassed as a
heater for size and
economy at the
price; turns any
kind of fuel: larg
variety of styles and
Foster Flyer Cast
0 Iron Cook Stove
Burns any kind of fuel, largs oven,
duplex grate, for coal or wood, powxn
49 feed; a whirlwind bargain at
Perfection Oil g
Just what you need; can be mored
from room to room; will heat a sood '3
sired room quickly at small expense;
no danger; wick guard that prevents -
turning up too high; indorse! by W
board of Cre underwriters. CO O "
Only 40, LJ t
Qni ;oiri(r Prices
on Hlotri snd
flaiisrf-H 1 e a d e r
Hfetl Hanyce, ab-s-tos
trrate for coal or
wool, l.iL warming
clos-t, nlrkI trhc
tne'I. large ovea.
good bakers; a
world beater at the pricf:. 7
o. er r em. a " II
One hundred Stove and Eange Bargains to select from. The vaules in Base Burners, Hot Blast and
'uYls E Soft Coai Burners, as represented here are the greatest vales i possible to secure, and our stove depart- fTRir A
lrtlY$' ment is rilled to overflowing with hundreds of equally as good bargains as the few quoted in thi3 chain VghUnjjg
9 mM'w im'