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THE ROCK ISLAND ARGUS, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 2, 1911.
V MOLINE'S NEW BANK OPENS TODAY v v
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TLe SUie Savings Bank and Trust company of Mcline, the interior of which is shown above, opened its new quarters at Fifteenth
street and Fifth avenue In that city today and thousands of visitors viewed the result of the extensive work that has been done there in the
past .x liiontfts. The new quarter Leslie; bcins conver.icat in arrangement are beautiful in appearance and Sloline has reason to bo proud
cf the banli. UiclKxst mahegaay furniture asd a Liaadir.c cf exquisite ejects in marble make the interior of the bank one of the handsom
est In the tri-cltics which practical! :232ns the rsidil'.o r.ei.
The vaulu and eafety deposit 3 ere the latent and mcst approvei design and all la all, the bank is one with which its oEJcers may well
not appear-over anxious to approach
the liverwurst and dill pickles, but
hesitate for half a minute, so that
you will not give those within the
impression that you came there pri
marily to eat, even though such be
the case. During the business of
pausing midway betwixt the lunch
counter and the door, watch the
lunch carefully out of one or two
corners of your eyes, lest It disap
pear. Then approach the lunch coun
ter with a . firm energetic step and
from that time on make it your busi
ness to hover over it. After par
taking of eight or ten sandwiches
and stuffing your pockets with pret
zels, etc., it Is usually proper to
bawl out the management for the
mediocre quality of provender put
out, and cite specific instances
where you have come Into the place
time and again, and have only got
ten 85 cents worth of plain food
from the expenditure of a nickel for
Now that you have stowed away
fenough to stave off the pangs of
hunger for an additional 24 hours, it
is sometimes customary to purchase
one's self a drink, although experts
maintain that this action is entirely
superfluous. But never refuse to ac
cept a drink, or your reputation is
gone. Many of the real hoi polo!
have been known to remain In
barroom for 12 hours running, with
out either buying a drink or ceasing
an allegro ' Fletcherization of the
There is a variance of opinion as
to whether it Is proper to upset a
cuspidor or expectorate on the wall.
We say, however, always upset the
globocn if the porter be absent, as
in this way the floor will maintain a
tidy appearance. Should the wall
have been newly frescoed or decorat
ed by all means unleash a huge gob
of tobacco Juice on its immaculate
surface, giving that tone in browns
go much effected in the Latin quar
ter this winter.
We will now take it for granted
that you have button holed some fish
ana have gotten into him for a
drink. After bumming the mak'ngs
of a cigaret, ask somebody for a
match and begin to brag about your
EClf. Tell them how you told the
bess if he did not come across with
The only Baking Powder
Royal Grape Cream of Tartar
HT CHORDS AND DISCORDS B3
BY J. M. C. in and let us see your scars and ten-
der sympathy through the paper; if
another ! your mother-in-law has died, don't be
ba-.fcful about It. Give in all the com
niouplace news. ' In sbort, whatever
makes you feel proud, sad, lonesome
or glad, submit it to our 24-karat wis-
The Review positively refuses to an
bwer the Fulton Journal's inquiry con
cerning the whereabout, status, etc., idom and see our matted locks part
cf "Albany- Interurban railway. ' The
editor considers the inquiry as an ex
hibition of ill-breeding." Albany Re
view. Ah, there! Jim McCartney, editor of
the Albany Review, you gazeebo!
What do you know about what con
e:ltutes good breeding or Ill-breeding?
You chatter like an ape or Uanaracha
hose. DATCKHOIH IX IC K TIME.
TEI.L. IT TO YK ED.
My friend, help the editor in his
wild-eyed search for news. When your
friends come to soe you, if you are not
ashamed of It, tell him; when your
wlfo gives a tea party. If you have
recovered from the effects of the gos
alp. drop in with the news; when a
baby arrives fill your pockets with
cigars and call at this office; if yon go
to a party, ateal some good things.
and leave 'em with the item in our
sanctum. If your wife licks you, come
end stand on er.d with gratitude,
which will pour fro:n every pore like
moisture from the dew besprinkled
Clara Johnson is nursing a very
If the matrimonial signs (Son't
change, there will be more than one
wedding In Zuina before spring.
WOXDEK IF HE'S WAHRIEDT
Wanted Younc lady stenographer
and typewriter. Must be good looking, j
Apply at the office of City Clerk
WHEN 1IKVK WOI I.I) RE HELL.
(Stark County News.)
Miss Minnie Oliphant, the woman
evangelist at Lockport, took as her
subject for her Sunday talk at the M.
K. church, "Heaven."
"We know heaven more by what it
is not, than by what It is," said she.
"No cheats, no stingy people, no sel
fish people will be in heaven. We
all want to go to heaven, and we all
expect to go, but if everybody who
wanted to 0 to heaven could go there
unconditionally, heaven would be a
hell of a place."
HOL G If ROADS OR DANCING f
Arthur Hurley and Raymond Pcar
Fon have been tardy several mornings
recently on account of the rough roads.
Mr. Bell does not approve of the
fancy dancing lessons which have been
recently given in the cloak room.
High School Notes.
HIT ALL. THAT SHE ASKED WAS
(Stark County News.)
- The affair was in the na
ture of a miscellaneous shower for the
bride-to-be. Three trips had to be
made before the presents were all
brought and laid in front of the bride-
to-be. After the presents had all been
Saves Better, Flour,
Eflfls, and makes
borne baking easy
Ho Alum Ho Ltmo Phosphate
better you will be liked. Maintain
a free and easy air, never hesitating
to ask tnyone for anything.
We believe that w,:th these facta
at hand, you will be able, with a lit
tle practice to go into a saloon with
out a jitney in your jeans and re
main there from 12 to 18 hours, eat
ing and drinking continuously. We
recommend the following references:
"Pushing to the Front or How to
Grab a Scoop at a Crowded Bar,"
"Ten Nights in a Barroom" and "On
the Banks of the Green River."
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO
(From The Argus files of 1886.)
Nov. 27. An informal meeting -of
the driving park committee was held
at the Harner house last evening.
r. five-buck raise you would leave the when matters pertaining to the pro
firm to disintegrata upon the shores posed purchase of land were discuss-
or commerce. iive run details or.H int t, fnrm.ii nnfimi tnkn
Maybe It's You
That's Out of Sorts
the world is all right that's certain I
If coffee drinking has pat you out of tune (it does
many) until the world looks gloomy, let some sunshine
in by a change to well-made
It has helped thousands why not you?
The change is easy and pleasant when Postum is
made right tha is, boiled full 15 minutes after boiling
Good Postum has a fine color, delicious flavor and the
rich, nourishing food elements for rebuilding brain and
cf Robert Burns, the Scotch plowman
poet Brother Shult would agree to
Lave the name of their mutually loved
pott inscribed upon the tomb of Rob
ert Ingersoll the simple words,
A TRANSPLANTED PEACHERINO.
Out in Spokane, Wash., they've been
holding a national apple show. All the
cities roundabout send their most
charming young ladies to act as "prin-
t esses at the big show. Apparently
i'. Is desired to mix in a lot of peaches,
so to speak, among the apples. Post
Falls, Idaho, was represented by a
former Reynolds girlie, Mits Beatrice
JIST WHAT WE DESERVE.
If either of the gentlemen who
waited on the congregation at the
Methodist church Sunday morning
with the collection baskets had acci
dentally stumbled while returning to
the altar, and gone sprawling on hands
and knees, and if we had seen fit to
chronicle the misstep as a news item,
what a laugh the people would have
how you bawled him out for a slave
driver and explained to him that
what he did not know would fill a
considerable volume. Explain how
he cringed before your haughty on
slaught, and on bended knee implor
ed you to remain with the firm at a
ten-buck raise. While relating all
this, wave your hand with the light
ed cigaret from side to side, as in
many cases you will be fortunate
enough to Ehove the glowing end
into the eye of an unoffending by
stander, thus pulling a good laugh.
Keep yelling, "let's have another,"
but when the bartender puts the
dr!nk before you, see to it that you
are safely across the room making
another deadly assault on the lunch.
Always try and organize a quartet
so as to make the occasion as agoniz
ing as possible, making 'it a point to
beat time with your half filled beer
g'ass. In this manner you may be
able to drench four or five men with
the contents of your shell. After
taking three drinks you are now sup
posed to be intoxicated. Insist upon
shaking hands with everyone and
telling them the history of your life.
If you stick to your story long
enough you will soon have them so
wild that they will gladly buy an
other drink. Always bear in mind
opened and commented upon. Miss laughed! And how the "funny'' man
Ada Manley sang "All That I Ask Is . cn the Rock Island Argtis, tor in-
Love." Lois Atherton and Lorna Hil-
liard of Roscoe, Neb., played instru
mental selections upon the piano.
Editor C. E. Peterson of the Sher
rard Bulletin was in this village be
tween trains on Saturday morning.
REV. SHXLT DISCOVERED.
Rev. F. E. Shult bears a striking
resemblance to Colonel Robert G. In
gersoll. The good brother has the
same Imposing front, majestic stride,
and good humored atmosphere. It is
only In the outer man, the mere shell,
that the two men are alike. Inter
nally, they always differed. Intellect
ually they widely diverge. In the love
of home they agree. It is also true
that they are on a level in their love
stance, would have seized the tidbit,
labeled it, "Plate Passer in Peril," and
in gay glee republished it as another
ridiculous characteristic of journalism
ruralistic! But, listen! On Sunday
morning in New York City, in one of
the fashionable churehes, such an In
cident really occurred. And on Mon
day evening the story of the stumble
was printed in the Argus under big
type headlines! Now, shall we laugh?
Or will the realization of the reason
chase the smiles away? You see, he
of the awkward leg is high and mighty
among the richest in New York town
and the modern city newspaper be
lieves that a prominent portion of the
puerile public is' pitifully pleading for
big news stories of the golden gods of
mammon. So perhaps 'tis pity, instead
of mirth, that we should manifest the
The finance committee of the
board of supervisors will meet Mon
day to prepare their- report for the
meeting of the county' board Dec. 13.
Nov. 29. The Broadway Presby
terian church succeeded in raising
its debt yesterday, fhe amount be
ing $3,500, or $3, 60S with the in
terest, and now thatfithe church is
free from incumbrance, a pipe, organ
and general repairs ire talked of.
Manager F. Griffith- of the Central
Union Telephone company has is
sued a new call book, which is be
ing distributed among subscribers of
the exchange throughout the trl-cltles.
The Holly hose dance at Armory
hall Saturday night was well at
tended and was a great success. A
splendid supper was. served and all
enjoyed themselves hugely.
Dec. 1. Following the snow
storm which prevailed all day yes
terday, the severity, of the winter
season set in in the evening. During
the night the wind switched around
to the northwest and the first icy
blasts from the cold regions came
suddenly but with evident intentions
to stay. The mercury darted down
to zero and four below. A 6 o'clock
this morning the thermometer reg-
thai the more profanity you use, the.lstered at 2 below and there has
been little variation from this all day.
Commencing tomorrow morning
the Moline and Rock Island street
railway will run two cars to Mo
line, leaving Rock Island at 6:30
and arriving at Moline at 7, to ac
commodate laboring men going tc
that city to work.
The Rock Island Brush Electric
Light company has placed a pole
light at the corner of the Armory
building in order that the public
may be able to find the police sta
tion at night, in case of necessity
to do so, and to light the city
fathers into the council chamber.
Dec. 3. Harry MeDarrah, the
veteran fireman on the ferry, staked
out a path across the frozen Miss
issippi this morning from the foot
of Eighteenth street, landing safely
on the Iowa side and distinguished
himself as being the first footman
over the ice this year. Harry came
back jubilant over his feat, and says
the Ice was perfectly, safe. A few "
more cold nights, however, would
make It less dangerous. It Is quite
a while since the treacherous old
"Father of Waters" has gobbled up
anyone from this region.
Four well known citizens purchas
ed four rabbits each last night and
started home with them. They stop
ped at- a saloon on the way and the
dice box was Introduced, the conse
quence was that the gentlemen pro
ceeded on their way minus the rab
bits and the saloon keeper had
something new on his free lunch
table this morning.
Mtt Hi-:.', ; rV-li -'
OUR QUESTION BOX
With mental poise and the
smoothly, life is worth living.
Ten days' triarshows.
body swinging along
"There's a Reason" for
Postum Cereal company, Ltd., Battle Creek, Mich.
BY P. B. '
Address all questions pertaining
to business, art, music, affairs of the
heart, etc., to Editor Question Box,
Question Box Editor: I have
just arrived in the city and am an
xious to mingle with the real bloods
of the town. Will yon kindly give
me some hints on barroom etiquette?
Dear Clarence: The editor of this
column is taken at a serious disad
vantage when asked to inform you
as to the customary methods of pro
ceed ure In polite bar circles, as he
was reared in Moline. Furthermore,
be still maintains his childish inno
cence and purity of thought, even
since arriving in Rock Island, due to
the fact that the chop suey houses
had closed their beckoning portals
to a beer-thirsting populace ere he
arrove. However, he has taken the
Food," "Every Man His Own Bar
tender," and "The Sloe Gin Fizs
Its Relation tc the History of the
World." This scientist has at my
request imparted his expert opinion
and I will give you the benefit of
Upon entering an ale house, kick'
the door open, aiming to swing it)
against the countenance of a total
stranger, which will give you an ex
cellent opportunity to laugh,' demon
strating that you are a good-humor !
ed cuss and permitting you to inter
rogate him as to whether or not his
visual organs are so distorted that
he is unable to detect an approach
ing avalanche, showing that you are
decidedly keen when it comes to dis
tributing an even coat of verbal vase
line over the immediate landscape.
Never open the door gently, as you
might give those within the impres
sion that you ' have been raised
Used by Your Father
matter up with one of his esteemed amongst white people.
colleagues, or contemporaries, as Once inside, address a few words
they wonld say in Monte Carlo; onei
who is an authority on drunkenness,
a thing to which he has devoted
much time and thought. He is tha
author of a number of books deal
ing with the momentous question of
alcohol and its subsidiary pertinence,
among them being "Beer, the Liquid
of greeting to the barkeep in an
evenly modulated tone, so as not to!
be audible more than three blocks
distant. Now comes the important
part. Immediately after the business
of greeting, let your eagle eye rove
over the entire room until Ton have
located the free lunch counter. Do 1 t."!!?
Stomach Bitters !
Fifty-eight years of
vixja Mmtin riTV