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THE ROCK ISIIANP rARGUS. TUESDAY, APItrE 9, 1912.
Fubllslied Dfly aae Weekly at Ml
wn Rock bluo. m, IXa
tare at ta pootofflco m seooad-claae
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character, political or rellg-loue, moat
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Uea, No each articles will bo printed
ever flottUoaa slsnaturea
Telephones to all departmanta: Central
tTnJon. Woat 14B and 1145; Union mee
Tuesday, April 9, 1912.
Nobody "will cure how much the fly
Is kicked around thla summer.
"New York owns $14,000,000 worth
of Idle land." Evidently Tammany ibas
not been attending strictly to business.
Harvard astronomers hare made a
map of 1.500,010 stars. Yet the supply
of shortstops and third baseman sterns
unequal to the demand.
.Little Is hard these days from the
war In Tripoli. Perhaps J. Plerpont
Morgan, who is in the neighborhood,
has ordered them to stop fighting.
At least the policemen know that
spring is here. It is keeping them busy
trying to prevent newsboys from play
ing marbles In the store entrances.
In selecting the town of Swatow in
which to burn a ;erman consulate, the '
Chinese Insurgents have manifested a '
shocking dlsiegard for the kaiser's!
A Brooklyn lawyer retained by two
pickpockets with a fee of $7 was deftly
relieved of the coin while the light
fingered gents showered him with
thanks on acquittal. The fehorn law
yer woke lip fcfter the crooks had j
Colonel "Abe" Hlnpsky, one of the j
best known citizens of St. Louis, is re- j
ported by the St. Louis Globe-Democrat i
to have bet $.f00 on Taft and against I
Roosevelt. That looks like a violation j
f the comity which bhould exist among ,
W'OTT'S N A.MK IS SF.CVRK.
Nothing can take awav from Cap
tain Amundsen the honor of having1
i een the rirst to reach the south'
I ole. ilia liuii.o has Li en placed in'
the world's history for all time, be-'
elde that of ('omiiinmler Peary. Yet
Captain S u ami his companions, in
their two jeam of reseurch in the
south polar regions, are performing
t vastly more important, if not more
IntereHting, tervice for mankind. )
AnmiiclHfii and hi.- hardy crew "flew
light." Their equipment was the'
lightest ami simplest possible. They'
were nal'l' tl io make a quick dash1
lo the pole ami back. Scott's exie-l
dition U completely provided with the.
men and material for scientific work.'
it is sounding tuu sea, boring into
the glaciers, tehtinc the air currents
aloft, examining the geological for
mation of the l.uid and mud lug and
getting specimens of the meaner
nnt arctic plant, animal and equatic
life. Many photgraphs and moving
I loture films are being obtained. It
will have wonderful things to tell and
wonderful things to show when it
Amundsen nccouplinhed a great
feat. Scott will prohau!y di.rilicate
the feat, and in addition contribute
much to the world's knowledge.
. Ah"l Kit 10IAV.
We are confronted today with
'.he greatest crop of candidates that
'.be state of Illinois has ever known,
ind 1t is a satisf action to know that,
:hls number will be largely reduced
after the polls close ou the primary
The atmosphere at the present time
U -so full of politics that business is
ultncist shut out of slKht. the air is
tilled with political smoke, and the
cloud Is so large that It obscures the
origin sunshine pf industry. Howev
er, there has been, even in riot-ridden
Rock Island more harmonious ram
latgn than milit have been expected
with the many factions, especially in
the republican party, and so many can
didates, and it is somewhat remark
able that the campaign has gone on as
peaceably as it has. This in itself
speaks well for the temper of the aver
age partisan in Illinois.
After the primaries the air will be
cleared, the Issues will then be defin
ed, the fever of factionalism will be
reduced and the Issue will be issues
of principle and party and no matter
what the result of the primaries may
be In either side of the controversy,
the voters of the state of Illinois
will accept the result of the vote as a
Coal settlement of everything political,
pertaining to the nomination, and
business will resume its ordinary
course and the state of Illinois
will go happily along.
It was Garfield who said when Lin
coln waa aaaaaalnated. "God reigns
Mid the government at Washington
i-'o 1t will te when we get through
Vith all the burly burly of this great
cl.ucal primary election, God will
TA0ES I COUNCIL jl
8 till reign euid the government of Illi
nois wrfll still lira, maybe a little abot
to pieces and little shattered, bnt It
will come around all right.
TO EUROPE BY AIRSHIP
The crossing of the Atlantic ocean
la aa aeroplane is the great achieve
ment which la now appealing to the
ambition of aviators, The April bul
letin of the Aero Clnb of America
announces that six "blrdmen" are
now planning to make the attempt.
That this feat is not Impossible is
shown by a chart published in the
same bulletin. showing several
routes. One of these is from Scot
land to the Faroe Islands, thence to
Iceland and from there to Greenland,
In which the longest sustained flight
would be only 270 miles. A French
aviator has flown 261 miles in 155
minutes. From Ireland to St. Johns,
Newfoundland, the distance is 1,900
miles, but it could be broken by
alighting on Flemish Cap, 4 20 miles
east of St. Johns, and on Porpoise
brnk, off the coast of Ireland. A
variety of routes shorter than this
one are available, with the Azores aa
a base. But the best of them in
cludes 875 miles of open ocean.
The Greenland route is impractic
able without elaborate preparations
end great expense in the establish
ment of relief stations in the north
And it does not croBS the Atlantic In
the sense that the others do. The
best sustained flight across country
yet made by aeroplane is less than
00 miles. It would seem, then, that
the feat is at present impossible. Yet
aviators believe that before the pres
ent year ends an unbroken flight of
1,000 miles will be made.
It is only a short time ago that a
fight of 20 miles aroused the won
der of the world. Why, then, should
not flights of a thousand miles be
looked forward to as almost a cer
tainty? It le- sxtremely probable that
the Atlantic will be crossed by an
aeroplane and the achievement may
With the hydro-aeroplane, which
can light on the water and start
aeain. like a duck, the ocean may
be crossed at almost any time.
CHANGED HIS MIRD.
Ha Was Awful Strong, bvt He Took
Dislike to Boxing.
Talking of the padded mitt tad Its
practitioners, souse one remembered a
story of Tota O'Rourke when he was
managing that black warrior. Joe Wol
cott. Every now and then some green
born would happen along and beg to
be tried out It afforded Mr. O'Bourke
and Mr. Wolcott a great deal of inno
cent pleasure to try them cut plenty.
On one occasion a large walnut color
ed maa came, bat la hand, to O'Bourke.
"Ah'm most powerful despertt, Mr.
OT.curke." said he, "an' strong! My.
my, Ah'm that strong Ah'm Jes natch
ally afraid to leave mahself go. Ab
want you to match me to fight wlv
O'Bourke said that would be easily
done if the caller was as good a fight
er as he believed himself to be. But
be d hnve to be tried out first. The
stranger snld he wss willing, and
O'Bourke called Wolcott. "Take this
runn out In the gym," said he, "and
try Uiui out."
The pair fiddled and fenced about
for n while. Then Wolcott got bis
chance, whanged that right hand over,
ar.d the stranger bounced three times
before he came to rest. By and by be
waked up to find O'Rourke bending
over him. "Mebue Ah'd make a pret
ty good wrestler. Mr. OTleurke," said
be hopefully. Cincinnati Times-Star.
Dividing the Taik.
Lottie Oh. we!1, lf-r's kiss and make
np. IMtif All right, dea: . I'll do the
tlsKlnp. but yoh've had more expert
erne with the other part of the pro
gram. Cleveland Lender.
NEW AMBASSADOR TO
V , - " , st i
Mr. an- Mra. Myron T. Harrlck.
Within a few days ex-Governor
Myron T. Ferrick. of Ohio, accom
panied by Mra Herrick. will leave
for France where bo ' lil aaaunae the
duties of American ambaaaador to
that republic He succeeds Robert
Bacon, who recently resigned tram
J , ft 'V. , , j
Too. certainly have a bad cold," re- j
marked one of the callers, after the
plump lady of the house had burled her
face in her handkerchief for the
"And I wouldn't have had a cold at
all this winter. I believe," declared the
afflicted one, "if I hadn't locked myself
"Somebody rang the front doorbell,
and I didn't atop to see if the inside
door of the vestibule was unlatched;
so when I opened the outer floor, the
inside one elammed. It was nothing
but an told bill collector, too, for the
family who lived here before we moved
in. I told him he'd made me lock my
self out, but he didn't seem to care.
"Well, I only had on a thin silk ki
mono, and as we've Just moved in, I
didn't know any of the neighbors, so I
couldn't aak one of them to take me in.
And my nearest friend's house was too
far away for me to be promenading
along the streets In negligee. The peo
ple would have thought I was another
escaped hospital patient.
"I ran around o the kitchen door,
but found it locked. The door Into the
basement wasn't locked, though, and I
chortled when I thought how easy it
would (be to get into the house by the
Inside kitchen door.
"But my face fell when I found that
door locked, too. And I had to stay in
that horribly cold basement for an
hour and a half before my husband
came home and let me in, with a scared
expression, after I had shouted and rat
tled that kitchen doorknob and kicked
the door, for Ave minutes before he re
alized that it was I.
"And the worst of it was that the
washerwoman had hung all the clothes
In the basement to dry, because It was
too cold to hang them In the yard. So
I couldn't even keep warm by running
around in a circle. Ka-choo!"
1 locked myself into a clothes-room
The Recall of
At a meeting of the Chicago Bar
association the recall of decisions was
condemned by everyone of the sev
eral speakers. One speaker favored a
very conservative form of recall of
Judges, provided with it went a life
term of office, or tenure during good
behavior, with an adequate salary and
a pension for old age.
Judge Cutting denounced the Illi
nois system a short term for judges,
nomination under partisan labels,
voting on Judicial candidates with
reference to utterly irrelevant issues
as one of the worst forms of the
b th berincing waa th Word, And the Word wu with God. and the Word w&a God. Sc. Joha 1 1
It breathed in the primal chaos, it shone in the first great sun.
It pulsed in the glowing ether or ever a world was done
And through all the empty eons when never a star had place
It swept in eternal grandeur across all the fields of space.
The hoar that the first feky gloried
It rose in the marvel-chorus the song of the morning stars;
Tremendous and deep and mighty, the Word was the soui of tidncs
Ere brother made war on brother
For far in the outer splendor, where systems are dimmed to haze
And orbs that we never dream of
The Word is the law forever, and was ere the birth of time ;
It lived in the right eternal through centuries all sublime.
And we with our books and letters,
We dim it in clumsy tangiiagr, we hush it with barren deeds;
Pull fat with the pride of being we read with our narrowed eyes
The truth as we fain would spell it we puny ones, overwise.
And how may we read or hear it?
And how may we sense its forming forever to fit our needs?
We babble of plan and purpose, we -question of What and Why,
Nor read in the apple blossom, nor see in the star-strewn skyl
ICoppMcat Uii ky
once," observed one of the callers. "I
was putting away bed clothes, and
while I was reaching up to a high shelf
a breeze from somewhere slammed the
"The door couldn't be opened from
the inside, and I realized I'd have to
stay there till my daughter came home
from school about three hours. It
was cold and not very light in there,
but I made the best of a bad situation
by pulling down a lot of the bed
clothes I had Just piled away, making
a bed on the floor, and curling up in
the comforters and blankets. I had a
nice little nap, and woke np Just a few
minutes before I heard Lottie open the
front door. Then I started pounding
the door until she found out where I
was. "Why, mamma,' she said, 'what
are you doing in there?
"'Taking a snooze,' said I, and she
looked at me the rest of the day as 4f
she thought I wasn't quite responsible
for my actions any more."
Tve got you all beaten in locked
out epxeriences," laughed the other
caller. "I dont believe anybody
ever did anything as utterly ridic
ulous as I did.
T had gone away from home and
forgotten to take the keys (with me.
Of course when I returned I couldn't
get in, and I was anxious to get In
and have dinner ready for my hus
band when he came. Finally I found
a window off the porch that wasn't
"I climbed laboriously in, went tup
to my room, found the keys, came
downstairs again, climbed laborious
ly out of the same window, went
around to the front door, unlocked it
and entered my domlcle with a sigh
"Now if anybody can beat that, I'd
like to hear from 'em."
"recall." Thla bad system prevails
in most of our states, and it is true
that good Judges have been "recall
ed" or retired because of the sins
of their party in congress!
This is not common sense. We
should fight this form of the recall as
well as the other forms. Why not
begin by recalling bench politics, by
nominating and electing judges on en
tirely nonpartisan tickets, by separat
ing their offices from everything sug
Ee6tive of general "politics?"
Why not try the virtues of real
independence In the judiciary inde
pendence of bosses, machines, con
with siiver and crimson bars,
or folk knew of slaves and kings.
go spinning their nights and days,
and we with our codes and creeds,
Wetjtnbblers of tilings and deeds.
W. --t j
atr nvftcAj ft. smrm
fCTTTTLL you walk Into my parlor r
" T Sold the spider to the goat.
"I have a lump of butter
On which to banc your coat.
And if you cannot coma yourself
Please visit ma by note."
. The aoat replied without a pang: '
"I cannot come today.
I have to cat a train of ears '
In lieu of twisted bay.
But I will gladly go vaith you
A-Maylng in the May."
The spider heard these fateful word
And sold before be spoke
That bo regarded pickled prunes
As something of a joke.
And then bo gurgled up the spout
Ana from the dream awoke. ,
At sight of thla the goat got gay
And, going to the sink.
Drank up what water there was there
Quicker than he could wink
And then turned red and white and Mue
Because it wasn't Ink.
And so they went their several ways.
Each with a broken heart.
And one who read this almpla tale.
This bit of artless art,
Declared it should bare finished been
Before It got a start.
They Are Used
"Did yen ever
hold fear queens
"How did you
"Like a Turkish
"Isn't that Mrs. Gray the nerviest
"1 never noticed 1L"
"I asked her If she didn't want to
keep eur parrot a month while we went
south, and what do you think she
1 caa'C imagine."
She replied that she would be
charmed, and she would let us keep
their puppy when they went away
The Way He Looked at It.
"Are you Interested in the presiden
tial election ?"
"Do you truly think it will make any
difference to you who la elected presi
dent?" "Depends upon whether I bet on him
or on the other fellow."
"What is the matter with him. any
"He'is afflicted with a bad temper."
"Can't he govern it?"
"It is his wife's. The government
couldn't govern It."
An Artist's Jolly.
'He fell In love with her photo
"And Trhen he saw the original?"
"He concluded that the. photo waa
even more original."
Exchange of Compliments.
"I know what my rights are."
"If they encroach on mine you will
know my left."
He had a case of liver 1
And thought he felt, ho said.
like jumping' In the river.
Ho took a pill instead.
The man who has never been cross
ed In love feels that he has missed
something In life.
Neither perfect faith nor perfect love
exists on earth. Yet some persons
have their faith in the universe shaken
by acquiring this knowledge.
It takes more than one person to
make a happy home, but this the
grouch never is able to perceive.
A. woman may be boss of the Job
and still be happy if she can hypno
tize her aaaband Into the belief that
he is the whole thing.
A clever wetnan always allows her
ausbaad to think that she has still as
much faith la his wisdom aa she had
a the day she married bins.
One reason why a married man ad
mires other women may be because
they never refer to his Incipient bald
ness. Men think women have a monopoly
of vanity, bnt the women whom men
most admire know better.
A man may prefer a clever woman
for a wife, bnt he unfailingly sings
the praises of the weepy and emotion
al women who cling to him In his In
ceiiMa&s and outgoings.
Sense may not be contagious, ant
there is no doubt that foolishness is.
The fellow who claims Inside Infor
mation often gets outside the facts.
Why He Escapee.
Agnea Why didn't you arrest the;
burglar who was found under your
bed? Gladys-He said that if I would
ot have fcim srrerted he'd never taU
how dusty he got Harper's Bazar.
Ton will never "find" time for any
thing. If you want time yoa must
"A Bould Virgin" By P. A. Mitchel.
Copyrighted. 1111. by Associated Literary Bureau,
One morning in the year 1680, more
than two a half centuries ago, a young
man and a young girl walking side by
side passed what was then called the
ordinary, afterward the tavern and
which we now call hotel, in the village
of Hartford, Conn. The ordinary of
that day was the central feature of
the town. There political affairs were
born, discussed; from there domestic
news, gossip and scandal were sent
forth. Indeed, the ordinary embodied
everything in the village.
It was not kept merely for money
making purposes. Since a stopping
place for travelers was necessary in
the town one of the first dtlsens waa
Invited to take charge of It The rea
sons for this were manifold, though
the most important was that since
liquor must be sold so it was then
considered ad since our ancestors
"WKiI THBRB'S TROTOIiB BBKWIK0I
were thoroughly impressed with the
abuses liable to this traffic they desired
the management ef a man they could
Now, on that morning when the
young man and the young woman, Ja
cob Murllne and Sarah Tuttle. passed
the ordinary at Hartford within the
taproom sat an Englishman who had
just made a forty days' voyage from
London to America for the purpose of
studying the manners and customs of
the colonists with the Intention of
writing a book about them on his re
turn. He was sitting with the land
lord, who had Just brewed a bowl ef
flip, a concoction of beer sweetened
with sugar, molasses or dried pump
kin and rum, into which hnd been
thrust a redhot iron called the logger
head, causing it to seethe and foam.
The landlord was giving his guest some
account of the said manners and cus
toms in vogue in the colony of New
"Do you see that girl walking with
that young man? Well, there's trou
ble brewing there. The girl is old
Goodman Tuttle's daughter, and she's
keeping company with young Murline
without her father's permission. He'll
get fined a dozen lashes at the whip
ping post if he doesn't mind."
"The whipping post: Have parents
power here to whip those who pay at
tention to their daughters without their
"Indeed they have, and a goodly cus
tom it is. The laws of the colony say
that any tempting without the parents'
sanction cannot be done by sieech.
writing message, company keeping, un
necessary familiarity, disorderly night
meetings, sinful dalliance, gifts or in
any other way."
"And If they disobey this law?"
"Heavy fines may be imposed with s
plentiful supply of lashes to the lu
velgler of the girl."
"And is she not punished?"
"Not by the law. . Her father can at
tend to her case as he likes."
"Is the punishment In public or In
"In public, of course. We have no
private punishment here in the colo
nies. Heaven knows there are in this
desolate land few amusements. Our
punishments serve us In this respect in
good stead. When I was in Boston
last, drinking with others a cup of sack,
we were much diverted at seeing a
man who had had too much of the
same mixture laid by the heels on the
ground, with a bar of iron fastened and
locked to his legs with sliding shackles
and a bolt. There were salvages (sav
ages) present who stared at him, not
understanding this method of torture."
While the two were talking Jacob
Murline, who bad passed with his love
out of sight, repassed, going the othet
way, and under very different condi
tions. A citizen held one arm, another
citizen held the other arm. while Good
man Tuttle. the father of the girl he
bad been walking with, led the" way.
On Tuttle's visage was a stern and re
lentless look that boded the prisoner no
"Now," said the landlord of the Hart
ford ordinary, "you have an opportuni
ty to witaesa one of oar customs, show
ing how parents discharge the duties
the Lord has imposed open them in the
ease of their offspring. Thgy will take
the boy to the magistrate, where he
will he tried for inveigling the girl, and
later you may derive macb pleasure at
seeing the cat o' nine tails laid en bis
back. And mayhap If the Judge has
not had sufficient sack thi3 morning to
steady bis nerves and replenish bis
temper after the five bowls he had here
last night the pleasure derived may be
heightened by the gashes on the swain's
tack being supplied with salt and vine
gar. CoffiT, 1st 08 finish" ffiebowTTe
fore us and be off."
The landlord and the author of a fu
ture work entitled "A Voyage to New
England," with a highly diverting ac
count ef the manners and custom of
the colonists, published in London In
1662, drank the remains of the plutonlc
mixture before them the author with
a grimace and proceeded to the meet
ing bonee, which was the only availa
ble abetter for a court except the ordi
nary. They arrived soon after the
prisoner, and the inhabitants of the
village were gathering for one of the
few diversions they were ever accord
ed. Everybody knew Jake Marline
and Sarah Tuttle for a pair ef Innocent
young persons, who were passing that
delightful period when lovers may sit
in twined In each' other's arms while
the clock is striking the happy hours
away. And now Jacob was to pay the
penalty for their happiness, for every
one knew that there were witnesses
who had seen them hugging and kiss
ing apparently without thought of
what waa to follow snch conduct when
Indulged ia without Goodman Tattle's
Goodman Tot tie was there, expectant
ef vengeance, and presently his wife
came in with their daughter, who
showed In her Ttstge and demeanor an
unholy protest against parental author
ity. They toofe-eeata m front, while the
space behind waa filled by cttlzena and
Indians. Then the Judge, aQ betns as
sembled, as iced Good men Tattle to
etate Me charge against Jacob Murline.
"The charge," reptted the accuser, "la
inveigling my daughter's affection"
"What proof have you to substanti
"On May dsy Inet wttbeut asking
my permission tbe prisoner had some
boisterous lovemaktog with my daugh
ter. It began by his seising her glove
and demanding the forfett a kiss.
WheeeupoB they sat down together,
his arm being abeut her and her arm
upon his shoulder or abont his neck,
and he kiwied her, and- she kissed him,
or they kissed each other, continuing
in this posture for about half an hour."
"Call your witnesses," eaid the court.
Since this outrage against parental
authority had been committed on a
holiday when all were Maying togeth
er, there were plenty of witnesses to
prove it. Some testified because they
were obliged to, but many did se that
the town might be accorded the amuse
ment of seeing Jacob tied to the whip
ping post receiving the strokes of the
cat-o'-nine-talls. Ferhaps there were "
some who were seltish enough to tes
tify in order, that they themselves
might be accorded this favorite
amusement. When the testimony waa
all in Goodman Tuttle, confident of
receiving a goodly sum of money
from the prisoner for fines and an
ticipating the pleasure of hearing Mar
line's bowls under the cat, looked
much pleased. The spectators were
getting ready to go ont to witneas the
punishment, and it appeared that noth
ing could interfere with the merry
making. The judge anted Jacob if he
had anything to say for bjnself,
whereupon Sarah Tuttle, shamjfaced,
arose and said sorrowfully:
"I have something to say, your wor
ship." "What is it?"
"Jacob Tuttle did not inveigle me at -
all. I wished to induce him to kiss
me. In fact, I enticed him. I dared
him to steal my gloves that be might
have cause to demand a kiss."
Here was a damper on tbe assembly.
By these few words tbe case against ,
the prisoner fell to the ground.
"You're a 'bould virgin.' " cried the
angry Judge, "and I must fine you for
inveigling the prisoner instead of fin
ing the prisoner for inveigling you."
"But," exclaimed the disappointed
j Tuttle, "I shall have to pay tbe fine.
j My daughter has no money."
j "That's nothing to me," retorted the 1
court. "I'm bore to administer the
law and must administer it as It Is.
It's lucky that I'm not compelled to
administer tbe cat as well." Then
turning to the prisoner he added: "The
Lord will administer the cat to you,
you Jade! You've set a pernicloua ex
ample to all the maids of the colony,
and I am troubled that I can make an
example of you only by the fine."
"I'm sorry, your worship," replied
Sarah demurely, "and I hope God will
help me to carry it better for time to
Since Sarah had thus far "carried
it" pretty well for herself In saving
her lover from a frightful punishment
for making love to her it does not ap
pear why any assistance was neces
sary. To outwit her father nnd tbe
jndge, besides depriving all present of
the pleasure of tbe only amusement
vouchsafed them at her lover's expense,
was a work not to be despised.
When the court wss dismissed th
Londoner and tbe landlord went bwk
to tbe ordinary, where, in order to
blunt bis disappointment at not hav
ing been abl to give his guest a speci
men of the favorite amusement of the
colonists, he brewed an extra strong .
bowl of flip, pumpkin flavored, and to
make it doubly elective gave it a
dash of mustard.
April 9 in Amcricaq
lliiS Rufus Putnam, soldier and Ohio
pioneer, born; died 1S24.
1805 General Itobert E- Lee surren
dered Uh army to General L'. S.
GruDt at Appomattox. Va.
1S&3 Stephen J. Field, associate Jus
tice of tbe United States supreme
court, retired, died; bora 1817.
100&-F. Marion Crawford, novelist,
died at Son-ento. Italy: born 1S54.
The man who cannot forgive any
mortal thing is a green hand In life.
R. L. Stevenson. '