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THE ROCK ISLAND ARGUS. THURSDAY, JULY 1- """"
i Published nally and Weviy at j
Iffecond avenue. p.o-k Island. I1L (En- !
rtered at the postom ai second-class j
!?. I.I.D4 Member of the Awlste
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO
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AGE sJC0u NCI L 2
Thursday, July 18, 1912.
H-at and rain make the prize com -
blnatlon for growing crops if the mix-
ing is done carefully, with neither in
It Is Fald that there are 0.000 'vin- j
dowiess rooms In New York. And New
York hasn't many militant lady suf-1
fraglste, either. i
Somebody should get a stepladder
and look through the transom. Chan
cellor Tay hasn't been heard from fcr
at least three weeks.
There can't be any doubt that Gov
ernor Marshall Is the real thing as a
democrat of the old, Jeffersonian
school. He chews tobacco.
The psalmist said, "in his haste," all
tnen are liars. Teddy is saying it at
lis leisure. He only makes one excep
tion: 'he hero of San Juan hill and
the "round robin."
Colonel Roosevelt wasn't so sensi
tive about stealing delegates four years
sen when h frirrwl Tnft nnnn fin nn.
willing party. a he appears to be about j
teallt.g debates in 1.12. !
The announcement Is sent out from
Mexico City that the backbone of the
Insurrection hn been broken. We
hav wondered, lately, what had be
come of the official trust busting an
nouncer When the next Olympic comes
"found many of the stars of the Stock
holm games will be out of the running, j
but a new American crop will be ready i
to take the places left vacant in a team :
The most excitement In political cir
cles now Is among tepublican office
holders and would le office holders.
They are kepi busy trying to dodpe
explaining to the voters their views
on public questions.
Davenport is uchlevlng greatness
these days. Sheriff I.ouis Eckhardt
bus been elected president of the Na
tional Sheriffs association, while our
eld friend Charles T. Kindt, with ono
foot in Rock Island has been chosen
head of the National Hill Posters' as
sociation. And Charley, you know is
a Bill. too.
A point to be considered in connec- j
tlon with the recall is that If the pro-
tnoters of the movement secure the
f.R per cent of bona fide voters of Rock j
Island essential to making it effective
they vlll be very apt to control
enough votes to put over, both for the
nomination and election, the men they
want. They will have the signers of
record and will spare no means of us
ing them for the candidates who will
W I I.SOX'S I'll I IOS) MI Y,
There Is a clean, wholesome moral
atmosphere about Governor Wilsons
speeches that Is good for the public
health, for the political health of
the country. "It is not a matter of
keeping out of Jail," he says, "it la a
matter of keeping out of trouble with
yourself while- you are alive. The mat
ter is one of having a reasonably
wholesome tat in your mouth when
you shallow, and the beauty of re
sponsibility Is that It sometimes, by
the grace of God. makes a man bigger
than he was naturally born to be.
"There is too common an Idea that
If a m:in keeos out nf 1 ill h i.
Bit good as is neceary for all practl-
cal purpo.-es. But a man who has not
.vet tramued his moral en i.nrf.r
1:1s heels needs to remember wh.t th
COernnr said about "keeping out of
trouble witi yourself while you're
IIHtrt GAI.'S THOI BI.KS;
The Portuguese government is forc
ed to admit that northern Portugal
boa many royalists in arms. Some of
the rebel bands are large and increas
ing rapidly in size and strength. Good
authorities estimate the sentiment of
that part of the country at nine
tenths monarchical, not so much from
aiy love of kings as on account of the
extreme unpopularity of the present
In the vicinity of Lisbon, where the
exfstir.g government Is most thor
oughly entrenched, there have been
m'l risir-.gs against the republic and
Jn i he capifj itself outbreaks of
.oet:lity to the rule re of the country
.re frequent. All of the conditions in
dicate that real civil war is on, ln
t.ad of mere local disturbance.
It is all as natural as it is unfair.
No government could make Portugal
jrcsperous. But ".lubout such changes
' fcr the better the country can never
j be content under any administration.
It is a situation perfectly adapted to
fomenting revolts and keeping the
government Insecure and greatly ham-.
pered in trying to bring about better.
conaiuons ior me masses.
If the monarchists could overthrow :
the republic they would never be able t
tri a-H-fv th rittmAnrifl of th np-orle.
I . . .. I
ir tney were to restore ,tne Kingdom ,
tn'v could not keep it from filing '
again, before long, under the weight of ,
I public condemnation for failing to do
; what is beyond the power of any nil-;
: ers of a country desperately involved
I in debt and desperately poor.
XO HAIIMONV IV SIGHT.
Leaders of the republican party in
the state met In Chicago a day or two j
ago and agreed upon a plan for party!
harmony. The decision was reached
to place the names of President Taft
d Colonel Roosevelt at the top of j
republican ticket, the names of the
candidates for governor and state of-;
flees to follow, the candidates for j
county offices to conclude the ticket.
The proposition seemed feasible and
certainly speilea party peace, uui
Colonel. Roosevelt declares he will not
stand for it. He w ill not, he Insists, ;
' allow his came to go on the republican
ticket. He is an independent candl-,
'and not a republican candidate. ;
; This j8 probably the last effort to
clarify the situation, the final attempt
to bring order out of chaos. There ,
will be no harmony except such as
can be enforced by hatches and war
COMPANY AT BREAKFAST.
I A Surprise Party That Startled
! Bride In India.
"I was married in India," says a j
! writer iu the Contra Costa Gazette, '
"and rented a
little hoUe fourteen i
miles or so from any other habita
Oon of white men. The ujorniug my
wife and I arrived the servants laid j
breakfast on the veranda overlooking j
the river. At the cutter or the plates .
i there began to come down from the
big tree that overshadowed the house
end up the tree that ?rew in the ravine
behind It. from the house roof Ituelf. j
from everywhere, a multitude of sol
"They came up singly and in couples
and in families and took their places
without nolne or fuss on the veranda
and sat there like an audience waiting
f5 00 "trtlnient to begin. And
breakfast wa all la,d and
the monkeys were all seated I went in
to call my wife.
"'Breakfast Is ready, and they are
all wultinpT I said.
"'Who are waltlns?" she asked in
dismay. 'I thought we were goinn to
be aloue, and I was just couiiug out in
my dressing gown.'
"'Never mind,' I said. 'The people
about here are not fashionably dressed.
They wear pretty much the same
things all the year round.'
"And ao my wife came out. Imagine
her astonishment. In the middle of
the veranda stood our breakfast table.
and all the rest of the space, as well as
the railing and the steps, was covered
with an Immense company of monkeys.
.is grave as possible und as motion
less and aiieut as if they were stuffed.
Only their eyes kept blinking aud their
little round ears kept twitching- My
wife laughed heartily at which the
monkeys only looked all the graver
and eat down.
" 'Will they eat anything?" she asked.
" Try them.' I said.
"So she picked up a biscnit and threw
It atuoui: the company. Three bun-
dred Dioukeye jumjied into the air like
one. and for uu instant there was a
riot thnt ilefles description. The next
uoiuent every monkey was sitting in
its plm e as solemn as if it h;id never
moved. Only their eyee winked and
their ears twitched.
"My wife threw them another bis
cuit, and ttie riot broke out again. Then
she threw theiu another nud another
and another. But at last we had given
away all that we bad to give and got
up to go. The moukeys at once roue
and. advancing gravely to the steps.
walked down them in a solemn pro-
, cession and dispersed for the day s oc-
A Study In Punctuation.
A celebrated eastern educator com
ma who has spent much time in
studying literature comma tells us that
the modem writer nses too innny puue-
tuntloo marks setntcolon that be often
geta them iu the wrong place aud that
they are a nuisance comma anyhow
Another shark on literature comma
however comma says that it is itnnos-
slble for any person to write without
using pnnot nation marks period Being
of a geuteel turn comma we do not f'
like coming right out and calling
latter gentleman a quotation marks
liar comma quotation marks but we
have demonstrated comma to the satJs-
'c"tn ot ourself comma at least com-
, m thMt wrlUu rn don without
. m Ff'Uii .rk
1 ever period Uow flo you HKe It ln-
terrogatlon point Brooklyn Eagle.
Swinburne Used Profanity Often. j
Swinburne would have suffered bad- (
ly if the thirty shilling swearing tax !
had been enforced against him. He
lived at the British hotel In Cockspur ,
street and uever went anywhere ex-
cept in bansoma. which, whatever the
distance, be invariably remunerated .
with a shilling. When he drove two ;
mile beyond the radios there was the ;
devil's own row. But in the matter of
imprecation the poet was more than a '
match for a cabby, who after five min- i
utea of it would drive off as though he
had been rated by Beeltebub himself. ,
It Does Indeed.
Little Willie, who was pnzr'ed over
the nnme of a famous arctic explorer.
4l ti1a frhr "FTn r ri vrm i ,r
nounee the first name of K-n-n d Rap-
nt,.n -4,h m-r n -r
"Ob, it doesn't make any difference!" Tte service was performed by Rev. ; District of Columbia by calling atten
rep'ied the father, who didn't know. August.ne Elmendorf, rector of the tion to the fact thai his Washington
Well 1 ilnn t know uld the It. ' Hcly Cross church cf this city. Mra. home is under assessed bv S43.973.nr
. -j ttink a COvd Ceal of dif-
BCT THE WOMEJi KF.W IT FIRST.
"Woman never discover a good
thing but that the men will beat them i
to .jt in time." remarked the young ;
hRln, - oman a. .he stood in front
of an electric fan to cool oft after her
"Women discovered the Joys of Ice
cream soda and the sundae," she con-
tlnued. "And fcr a time we had prac-
tieally a monopoly of these delights,
la fact, we were guyed about our lik
ing for sweets of this kind, and news-
paper Jokists took us as a topic for
their Dings. We were supposed to j
bankrupt our beaux by demanding
that they buy us ice cream sodas, and
everybody's mental vision of a soda
fountain was entirely surrounded by
"But lo and behold I When I go to
a soda grill (that's what they call it :
new) these days for a eandwich and I
a bit of somethine cool tit's all the
i,, - rhrin vnn -nnf nn hnt rtnA-R. T'v i
got to be there mighty early If I ex- j
pect to get a seat. It Isn't women who
occupy tne great majority of 6eats, ,
eitner. it s men, eating Jep sueys
an(j lever's Lane, or suekine ud ;
through a straw a Boston flip or a ' apprehended or even rebuked. Wo
Manhattan rickey, or maybe a Texas i men suffer in silence rather than make
roarer. They do it perfectly shame-; a scene. The conductor seems to be
ieSiEiy t00f looking at a woman as if j
she w as a sort of intruder when sh j
NO NEED OF
Careful reading of the platform
adopted by the italtimore convention
hut utrei'Kthens and confirms the ear
ly opinion expressed as to its fully
meeting the demands of the majority
of the proKrc-i.u of th.3 couivy.
That platform closes the door to
and third "party made up of dissatis
fied members of the two great polit
It may not prevent an open rup
ture, an organized split and two op
posing electoral tickets representing
indifferences within the republican par
ty, but all that goes toward a refor
mation of that same g. o. p. and does
not Btand f th(J aBsembling of the
, people in a third organization to car
j ry out reforms neglected by both the
The democratic party has placed it
self by its action at Baltimore upon
advanced progressive lines, and its I
candidates are acceptable to the great j
majority of the progressives of the i
That the manner of procedure at
:-mcago was not sansractory to all
j republicans every one is fully
That the republican radical progres-
' , ,
took a tr,P to Beverly-
j 'Twas Just the other day.
And found Bill Taft most cleverly
Upo ,he j,Rkg ftt p,ay
i . .
I forgive me for intruding;
j Your pardon. Bill, I crave,"
Said I, "but I've been brooding
O'er a matter very grave
! For some three weeks; I'm hearing
j You've said It is no use.
; p-,v tell me. are you fearing
The Donkey or the Moose?''
ference whether n man is nnd or nr.de jcrmatlon, this ceremony to be con
in the arctic regions!" i ducted by Bishop Edwin 3. Lines of
HETTY GREEN BAPTIZED
Celebrated Birthday by Embracing the
Jersey City, N. J., July 13. Hetty
Green. America's foremost woman fi
nancier, celebrated her 7Sth birthday
i Ia!t Saturday by being baptlxed into
i the Kclsco c a:Iaji faith.
'Green wQ cow prepare herself forcon -
wants a chance to get some of the
good stuff for herself.
And If you'll watch the women at
these soda grills you'll see that they
nearly always get something substan
tial before they eat their five cents'
(luncheon price only) worth of Ice
cream or get a five-cent soda. But
the men bless you, the men wade
right into the expensive sundaes and
fancy soft drinks and think nothing
of spending a quarter Just like that!
"Well, it's better than going to a
saloon, and I certainly have no ob
jection to men eating and drisvg
the things we learned to appreciate
first. But they needn't make fun of
us any more because of our liking for
ice cream sodas, et cetera. Here
after, if any man Invites me to par
take, I'll know he isn't making any
sacrif,ce for me ut that probably
he's more anxious for It than I am.
and I'll act according
ffpntlomnn .-nt4 tt In ntiH.
lie car with his legs crossed," said a!
Brooklyn magistrate the other day.
Then he fined a man for doing It, be
cause said man's muddy shoes had
damaged the dress of a woman who
sat beside him.
There are plenty of men In this
world who are no gentlemen, accord-
ing to this magistrate's definition.
In seeking their own comfort, or
In impressing upon others their en
tire independence of everything and
everybody, this class of men makes
riding In a street car a misery for
any woman unfortunate enough to be
We know the spitter well, and those
of us who ride much in street cars
are carpfnl to lift our HVirtK drififprlv
and look suspiciously around the lo-
cation of a seat. And though I per
sonally have seen men violate most
flagrantly the anti-spitting ordinance
In street cars. I never have seen one
afraid to enforce the rule. And there
A NEW PARTY
sives charged their associates who
controlled that convention as being re
actionaries and not representative of
popular sentiment Is well known.
That these republican factions had
each its candidate for the presidency
and its distinct and different declar
ation of principles to place before the
electorate, all will admit.
In view, however, of the subsequent
proceedings at Baltimore, where demo
cratic reactionaries displayed no
strength and the entire party was unit
ed upon a most progressive platform
and well recognized progressive can
didates, the talk of a third party
means nothing but the rending of the
republican party in twain at this time.
I'ltimately It may bring the result
of a united republican party upon lines
as advanced as those upon which the
democratic party is now moving, but
for this campaign the only result at
the polls will be a division of the re
Our readers, regardless of party, can
calculate for themselves as the cam
paign progresses how much this divi
sion is likely to affect the result of the
Thereat Bill chuckled gaily.
"Young man, pray brood no more;
In strength I'm gaining daily.
Dost hear that far-off roar?
It is the Bull Moose grieving
Down there at Oyster Bay
That all its friends are leaving
To join me in the fray.
Peor ..loose! its deathknell's ringing.
Its life Ted cannot save.
Sweet flowers he'll soon be bringing
To strew upon its grave.
"The Donkey, loudly braying,
No terrora has for me.
Some day, with golf-stick playing,
I'll heave him out to sea.
What will avail his cunning
As he struggles In the brine?
He won't be in the running.
Young man, the race is mine!"
Thus saying. Bill Taft, smiling,
A farewell bade me then.
And said he'd be beguiling
The hours with golf again.
i the Newark diocese.
i Dr- Elmendorf U -a distant relative of
j Mrs. Green and hat been consulted fre-
quently by her slice she passed her
TOth birthday. TbV service Saturday
' was witnessed by Mrs. Green's son.
Colonel E. H. R. preen, who is in
charge of her bu&in Iss interests.
j Washington Giff
added about 1600 to his taxes In tha
49 per cent.
Br BVICAJ M. SMITm
rpHE time we spend In idleness
-- If It were put to use. I gruess,
Would make us healthy, wealthy, wise.
Enable us to win a prize.
To paint a picture of a lake,
A set of furniture to make.
To write a very classy book
Or In a pinch to help the cook.
But. no; the precious hours we waste.
To dally, almost making haste.
We putter, aplutter and delay.
When we have work, our getaway;
When we should promptly keep a date
For several hours procrastinate
And let another day depart
Before we think to make a start.
Tomorrow we are sure will bring
Us time enough for anything.
And so we sit around today
And fritter precious hours away
Until another day has sped
And It la time to so to bed.
And on the morrow It's a fact
Not one whit better do we net.
The time we waste. If occupied.
Where now we walk might let us ride.
Might give us gold and land and fame
And all the prizes In the game.
One minute busy there and here
Would make a whole lot in a year:
But, wasting hours, through life we slip.
For babit boa us In Its grip.
u am taking a vacation."
"Yes; I heard about it"
"Heard about it?"
"Yes; beard you were fired."
"I suppose that your wife exrects
you to live up to her ideals."
"Oh. no; my wife is a very practi
"Practical? Good heavens!"
"What do you mean?"
"That's a chalk line proposition."
"I am getting gray."
"Yes. I notice."
"I had gray hair when I was Tery
"I see. You must have been pretty
old when you were very young,
Knew His Measure of Time.
"Where are you going. Maliel?"
"To the manicure's."
"But I thought you were polng out
with your husbaud?"
"I am. but he said he'd be ready in
Just a jiffy."
"Maude is engaged."
"Say, don't you think
it is chronic
"She is called 'the silent woman.' "
"Say. have you no sense of humor?
Why would anybody call any woman
marry a millionaire if she
the wedding to take
He handed him a Jolly.
And pleasant words he said.
Because he didn't have the cash
He made that do Instead.
It will be bard to keep cool in a hot
campaign, but the major part of the
country will probably do so despite
Perhaps the reason why women have
such a liking for remnants is found in
the fact that Eve was a remnant of
A dignified man is a grent acquisi
tion to any society, but be misses a
lot of fun.
There are men who have -the air of
having been born free to do as they
please and equal to any amount of
good luck that may come their way.
Anyway, people who keep their feel
ings in a prominent position are quite
likely to get them hurt
The way to enjoy the simple life is
to accept the invitation of the man
who Is running it and stay as long as
he will harbor you.
About the only thing you can Judge
of by looking at a woman's bat Is how
much per her husband pulls down.
Conscience is a good thing to have,
but a lot of os have our own troubles
about keeping It In good condition.
The only time a man likes to see a
clever woman clever is when she acta
so at the expense of his enemies.
There are lots of people who are
tot superstitious who don't like to pay
lelr debts on Frldnv
The author bad written one ftucrees
ful etonr. and he never grew tired
talking of it
I "Don't you know." said one of his
j friends to another one day. "Biter al
i waya reminds me of a pleased dog?"
I -That's odd. How doee he?"
"Bm alw&ya wajxlru. bis tale."
Calamity Joe By Clarissa Marine.
Copyrighted. 191!. y Associated Literary Bureau.
Five men on the Flying Y ranctt
watched the approach of the latest
addition to the force. He was riding
slowly up the trail, his long legs drag-,
ging below the stirrups. j
"You can sup on trouble now. boys," j
declared Hen Morgan. j
"How's that?" queried his compan- j
ions curiously. j
"This here gent approaching, him ;
w ho is to be line rider on the Flying J
V along with the rest of us. Is the !
champion dispenser of bad luck. Wher-!
ever he goes he brings calamity with j
"I've heard about him. then. Ain't j
hi9 name Joe Bliss r asked Pete Wll- i
"Yes. They call him 'Calamity Joe' i
because of the sure woe that camps on !
his trail perpetual." answered Morgan, j
They sat about the door of the mess ;
house and watched the shambling
forms of horse aud rider approach j
Presently the horse scuffled to a ;
standstill, and Mr. Joe Bliss threw a !
long leg over the saddle and stepped j
to the ground.'
"Howdy, gents?" he said, looking
gloomily down at them.
"Howdy, Joe?" said Morgan sadly.
"Let me interjooce my feller suffer
ers:" and be gTavely mentioned the
names of his companions, who all ex
changed nods and muttered "howdys"
with the newcomer.
"What happened over to Flamm's?"
asked Morgan as Bliss sat down and
rolled a cigarette. j
"Measles," replied Bliss stoically. "I I
never had 'em in my life, but old
Flnmm seemed to be afraid I'd catch j
'em, so he fired me. I'd only been there ;
The next morning they rode forth to
gether, Joe Bliss ahead and the five
following in a broken line.
"Seems t enjoy his bad reputashuo," 1
remarked Morgan to Freeman. j
"Quite some! I been looking for
measle spots all the morning." return
"It won't be measles this time. lie
changes his calamity every time be
changes a Job. We'll get something
else as sure as eggs Is eggs," muttered
"If he plants any calamity on this
here outfit he'll sure get his." de
clared Freeman violently, and some
how Joe Bliss heard the words.
"I got ter do something to get rid of
that reputation," he admitted to him
self and thereupon thought long upon
And it bore startling results. It took
some time to accomplish, but the na
ture of Calamity Joe's vindication of
his HI name will go down in the his
tory of Poorgrass county.
Several weeks passed without any
thing unfortunate occurring to bear
up the evil reputation of the new man.
Then one day Joe Bliss received leave
of absence and was gone all the morn
ing. At noon as his fellow riders were
eating lunch on the fringe of the scat
tered herd of cattle Joe rode hastily
up to Morgan.
"Gents," he said excitedly, "there's
some ladies In distress yonder in Salt
canyon. Picnic ladles they are, and
some ynller minded individual has
stampeded their horses. What's them
delicate females goin' to do?"
"Huh!" ejaculated Morgan. "Where
"They say they are salesladies from
Flnklesteln's dry goods emMrium In
"What they picnicking so far from
home for?" demanded Freeman.
"Skeered plumb skeered for fear
old Flnkiestein will change his mind
and call 'em back on the Job. Why,
them girls is so tipsot about how
they're going to got back to Eagle City
that they can't enjoy their lunch no
how," exclaimed Calamity Joe.
"Finklestein's, In Eagle City?" que
ried Smith suddenly. "Why. Hut's
where I bought this here handker
chief. She was a queen, that girl
"Was she a blond?" asked .lepson
eagerly. "I remember a peach of a
blond In Finklestein's. who"
"Nary blond," was Freeman's em
phatic reply. "She was a dark eyed
queen! I'll go over, Morgan, and help
my lady friend out of trouble."
"Huh! You don't even know her
name!" snorted Morgan contemptuous
ly. "I guess I'll move along over there
myself. I bought a shirt in Finkle
stein's last week, and I want to ask
the red haired lady I got it from if It's
a fast color." His handsome face
"Mebbe there ain't a red haired lady
to the picnic," said Smith disagreeably.
"She's there!" Interpolated Joe Bliss
hastily. "Mebbe all you gents could
ride over to the canyon aud rescue
them dames. I ain't much on ladies'
company, and so I'll Jest look out for
The five other men consulted togeth
er, ami finally all rode off In the direc
tion of Salt canyon. Meantime Joe,
the harbinger of calamity, stuck to his
Job and manfully did the work of six
herders that sunshiny day.
"That combination ought to break
op that there evil reputashun I've got."
be grinned as be rode back and forth.
The five men rode single file through
the narrow entrance to Salt canyon,
and once within iu confines a pleasing
sight rewarded their coming.
Around a campfire were seated half
a dozen girls. Most of them were
pretty, and all were attractive. The
queenly brunette and the "peachy"
blond and the red haired damsel all
were there, as well as three others.
All of them sprang up from the pic
nic feast a rou.fi d which they were
gathered and viewed with alarm the
approach of the cattlemen.
Morgan was in advance, and. whip
ping off bis hat with a graceful sweep,
he addressed the red haired divinity.
"Excuse me. &!. but we are the
rescue party." he -aid pleasantly. 1
"What you going to rescue?" do- i
manded the red haired one imperious
ly, while the others drew close togeth
er and giggled.
"We was informed that some yallow
hearted varmint had stampeded your
horses," said Morgan calmly.
"Yes." said the Imperious one stiffly.
"It's all true, but we don't need any
rescuing. We're going to get home
"Walk." she returned calmly. "Any
"Yes. ma'am." said Morgan emphat
ically. "We don't let ladies walk twen
ty miles when they're out for a holiday
time not in Porcgrass county."
."I'm sure they're very kind Mabel."
spoke up one of the other girls.
"You know, we were saying Just be
fore they came that we didn't know
how we were going to get home." add
ed the queenly brunette, with a flash
ing smile at Freeman.
"I suppose It Is well meant, and we
are obliged." said the spokeswoman
suddenly. "Perhr.ps you geutlemen cna
tell us how .to get our horses back.
Thy helonir to Dan Perry, the livery
man at Eagle City."
In response to these amenities on
the pnrt of the red haired damsel the
five rescuers slipped from their horses
and awkwardly submitted to Morgan's
elaborate ceremony of introduction ti
six ladies whose names were unknown
to any of the cattlemen.
In their' guise of members of a res
cue party they were invited to partnke
of the lunch and having done so en
tered Into serious consultation as to
the best methods of discovering the
miscreant who had run off the horses
or stampeded them and also the nil
Important question of how Finkle-
stein's salesladies were to be returned
to Eagle City that evening.
At last the unfortunate picnickers
consented gracefully to submit to the
better Judgment of the men. and It
was agreed that each lady shonld ride
one of the Flying V horses and that
Its owner should walk beside the horse
so ns to ride It back when their deed
of chivalry should have been accom
plished. Of course all this required much dis
cussion In general and then In tete-a-tetes,
where names were exchanged
and there was much merry bndinago
as past purchases of "gents furnish
ings" at Finklestein's emporium were
It was Smith who scouted around
and found one of the missing ponies
grazing out on the plain. He quickly
mounted his own horse and caught the
animal, and iu this way there was
provided a mount for the sixth lady,
who was suffering from the toothache
and cared little whether she was fur
nished with an attendant cavalier or
It was she who hurried them home
ward at sunset, when her companions
had decided to ride back to Eagle City
in the moonlight
They formed n procession as they set
forth on the twenty mile Journey to
Eugle City. The toothache lady led
the way, and the others straggled aft
er with a man nt every horse's bridle.
This was, of course, necessary, because
never had there been collected together
such a number of vicious. Ill tempered
brutes as the horses thnt belonged to
Messrs. Morgan, Freeman. Smith. Jep
son nud Pete Willis, and the fair riders
At dawn the five weary cattlemen
rode slowly into the camp. Calamity
Joe was on watch and without a word
handed cups of hot coffee to his friends.
"You gent- are some heroes." he
ventured, breaking Into their reveries
of tender looks exchanged and engage,
ments promised for Wednesday even
ing to route, for the Flying V men
were bachelors all.
"1 reckon so," said Freeman absent
ly. He was wourlering if he could earn
enough to support a certain blond beau- '
ty In rase she would marry biii.
Morgan suddenly looked up and
caught Culamity Joe's uttentlon with
a sharp glance.
"Who do you reckon run off them
bosses?" he asked.
"I dunno!" declared Joe.
"You wns seen doing It nnd might
as well owu up," shrewdly said Mor
gan. Then Calamity Joe confessed his du
plicity. He told bow he bad waited
his opportunity and. hearing about the
proposed picnic of Finklestein's clerks,
had himself stampeded their horses
nnd thus created a situation whereby
his comrades could rescue the fair dam
sels and at the same tim. make tbelr
I In the guise of a matchmaker Calam
I ity Joe had hoied to hide bis unfortu
! nate reputation.
I And be did, for ever after fhey called
him Cupid, and he was obliged to
olrbiate as Lent man at so many wed
dings that be almost regretted the step
be had taken.
After all. the foreman of the Fly
ing V declared that Jee had brought
calamity In his wake, for fire of bis
best men married within a year and
started ranches oT their own.
But he retained Joe Bliss because
there were no signs of his getting mar
ried and straying off.
July 18 in American
1702 John Paul Jones, naval bero of
the devolution, died iu Paris; born
157 Bobert Mercer Taliaferro Hun
ter, once a leading southern states
man, died: born 1S00.
1B0O Eugene Schuyler, author and
diplomatist, died; born 1840. C. II.
F. Peters, astronomer, who discov
ered more than forty asteroids,
died; lorn 1S13.
ISCrfJ Horatio G. Alger, famous as a
writer of stories for boys, died,