Newspaper Page Text
THJi.AKUU tt. MONDAY. MARCH, 30 1891.
, i ,.
FubMshed Dally and Weekly m 14 Second Are
na e, Kock Island, 111.
J. w. Potter. - Publisher.
Tafias -Daily, 8ttc pet month; Weekly, 3.00
All communication of a critical or argumenta
tive cbantcter, (olitical or religious. mut have
real name attached for publication No each arti
ticle will be priated over fictitious signatures -Anonymous
communications not noticed.
Correopondence solicited from every township
to Kock island county.
Mosday. March 30 1891
DKIlOtKATK: ritniAitll. Al
The democratic voter ol RjcIc Isl:ir.d are re
quested to. i-semble at the nual votiug p'a-e in
tfttir resi'Ct":ve ani at T:30 p m., on
SATURDAY, MARC3 2s lrfll,
tonumicata a candidate in each ward for al irrnian,
select three member of the city committee and
choose ilt-'tk'ites t the city-town-hip convention.
The wards are entitled to delegates as follow,
their M'io of representation beinjj one for every 4)
Totes, and fractional 10 vote or over cset for pres
ident in 1SSS:
First Ward 1M '8
Second Ward 21S 11
Third Ward 940 i
Vonrth Ward 308 10
Fifth Ward Hi li
Sixth Ward 1 7
Seventh Ward 123 ti
The delegate so elected will meet at Turner
MONDAY EVENING, MARCH 30.
at 7."30o'c'oek, for the purpose of nominating can
didates for mayor, c'.ty c'.erk, cit attorney, city
treasurer, two supervisors (two years), town col
lector and asewr: a'st3 appoint a chairman of
the city -township CJinmittee.
, Chairman rity-Towns-hip Committee.
At the earnest anlleiriitinn r.f mi- fri.n.u t
hwby announce mysplfiis a Candidate for the
oltiet- of eolle;toriiibjfct to the division of the
democratic ?It v township ennve nti n .
1 hereby announce myself ns a candidate for
he fiffice of coilec-tor at the suirirestion of
muny friends, sutijeet to the decision of the
democratic city township convention
M. KC KkRMANN.
Ces. George H. Sheridan is prepar
ing a lecture on Gen. Sherman.
A clock owned by a resident of
Trappe, Pa., has ticked since 17T6.
There is mo e snow in Southern Col
orado and New Mexico now than for 1!0
OsEof the latest fancies for table dec
oration i a miniature turkey carpet as a
A Toronto paptr figures out that the
drunkards of that city lost f 191,682 in
wacts lst year.
Senator Stanord is now openly erect
ing bis national pawnshop scheme into a
presidential liehtniag rod. He will be
grievously disappointed if the Farmers'
alliance owrioofcs him when it begins
thundering in 1892
Springfield Register: The republi
can plot to steal Montana by disfranchis
ing 7,(X)J natural zed democrats upon a
technicality may succeed, but the repel
lant effect of such knavery upon the minds
of republicans in other states who have
conscience wiil certainly make it "cost
more than it comes to."
An exchange announces that "Doctor
McGlycn lately rattled the Irish landlords
in New York where 100.000 persons are
evicted evtry jear for making a great
show of striding thousands of dollars to
support the evicted of Ireland number
ing about 25 000 annually and screwing
the money out of iheir own Door ten
ants " The doctor manifestly thinks that
there is no virtue in the charity that is ex
tended at somebody else's expense. Ttiis
is an antique idea, but it is nevertheless
Ex -Senator Blair, having decided to
accept the Chinese mission, the New York
Woil 1 maintains that there being do le
gation from this country to the moon,
ending him to the flowery kingdom i9
tte very best disposition thct could have
been made of him. It says: Mr. Blair
can do no ril hirm in China, so far as
we can see, and at that distance be can do
so barm here If the Chinese feel ag
grieved by any unkind thing be may have
said about them they can relieve thtir
minds by saying equally ugly thicizs about
him which he will not understand and do
body over here will reseat.
Kiw York Star: Will the Illinois demo
crats unite upoD Palmer for President as
they did upon Palmer for governor and
Palmer for senator, and if not.VLy not?
His expressed desire to serve his term in
tiie senate, cannot, of course, be consid
ered against the wishes of the Illinois
democracy. He has led it boldly and
brilliantly, and it does not lie in him to
thwart in wishes if it seeks to raise him
to still greater honor. The plan of se
lecting a candidate for senator in con
gress at the s'.ate convention has wcrked
k well for the Illinois democrats that
they may insist upon selecting their can
didate for president in the same way. It
is a plan which Gen. Palmer need cct
I'linoii DBDar;msnt Encampmen', O. A. E.
Decatur. III.. April 810. 1891. For
above the (J., B & Q. will sell tickets
from points in Illinois April 710, inclu
sive, at one tare for the round trip, good
returning up to and including April 11.
18&1. Good connection is made both go
ing and returnio?.
H. D. Mack, D. P. A.
THEEE LETTERS TQ NYE.
ETIQUETTE, JERRY SIMPSON AND
EXERCISE LARGELY FIGURE.
Ia It Proper to Rudely Crash a Tly?
Murray Hill Comes to the Front Jer
ry's Life Obtained from an Authority.
Point on Howling.
ICopyright, 1S01, by Edgar V. Nye.l
A correspondent writing from Savona's
Ferry, British Columbia, says: "Last
summer while dining at a friend's house,
being annoyed by a large bluebottle or
blow fly, the hostess squashed, it with
her knife. The cook had to lie called to
exchange the soiled knife. Do yon not
think it was very rude to squash the th
en the dinner table? What would you
It is very hard to say at times what
would be best, but referring the matter
to a warm, intimate friend on Murray
Hill, who uses our large kettle to make
I forget my promises.
soap in every s?ing, and with whom we
are on terms of the closest intimacy. 1
find that it is not regarded as an evi
dence of refinement to sqnash a fly on
the table by means of one's knife.
Possibly in New York we may be su
persensitive on this question?, but speak
ing for myself I must say that we
have not, for the past year and a half,
allowed ourselves the coarse gratifica
tion of squashing flies at meal time, es
pecially when we had any of the corned
heads or Guelph ontfit stopping with us.
Still, all these things are matters of
taste. I had a college friend who bo
came a dentist, preferring it. as he said,
to the ministry because he never conld
pray worth a cuss on an empty stomach.
Well, he had a preoccupied way of bor
ing out old cavities and wiping 3' the
apex of his drill on his trousers. This
did not cut into his practice where? hu
was, but one day he outgrew the town
and wore a high hat. He said that lie
was sick of perusing the wide sweep of
the Farmers' Alliance tonsil, so he sold
his cow and moved to a fiat on Lexing
ton avenue looking east.
He looked out the window there for a
few months, thinking and banting. Then
a young lady from near the Forty-second
street reservoir came tb get her mouth
surveyed. In the mirror she saw hirn
wipe his instrument on a bald spot
just forward of the portable mantel on
which he was wont to scratch his
matches mostly, and with a wild scream
she fled with a rubber dam in her
month and a tinker's dam in her port
monie with which to pay the dentist.
She was caught on Fifth avenue a half
hour later, and pnlled out from under
one of Colonel Jewdesprit Shepard's
But her mind was gone.
So has the dentist.
You see that these matters are largely
local in their nature. British Columbia
customs may sanction certain practices
which on Beacon street or Madison ave
nue would be coughed down. Now, for
instance, we had a fashion in ftiy native
town of regarding it as a personal insult
if your guest left a heel tap or dregs,
even if you left one dreg in your glass.
Your host had a right to feel hurt and
to regard it as a mild contempt for yonr
rum. But when I began to move around
restlessly in gool society, and exhibit
my earnest and hearty indorsement of
the vine by approving of it in the crude
way to which 1 had leeu accustomed, a
swift footed qotcoh filled the glass again
and kept me approving the host's good
taste till my remarks were not logical.
1 would start out with a good premise,
and before I could reach a conclusion
the premise would escape my mind. I
learn now that it is not correct to drink
the entire contents of one's glass unless
one wants to do so very much indeed.
One should sip the liquid if at all
slowly through one's mustache, iue:i
time looking far, far away, as if trying
to recall the name of the brand: but
never should one eat or drink as if one
took any interest in it. That is excess
ively vulgar. Eat with a preoccupied
and tiddlelewinks air, as one would
who lived high at home and might be
for the nonce out doing some polite
Hstac;ulo Jesus de Fonseca, of Conejos
county, Colo., writes to know "Who is
Jerry Simpson, the newly elected states
man now in Washington, and what are
his qualifications as a lawmaker?"
Jeremiah Simpson is the congressman
from the Seventh district of Kausas. He
is a native of New Brunswick, and at
fourteen years of age went to sea. where
he became a victim to the habit of going
utterly without socks. He takes great
pride in his well turned mahogany an
kles and richly carved legs. At full
dress parties and receptions the coming
season he will offset the low corsage of
the finely formed Washington belles by
wearing a set of high cut panties, reveal
ing his well groomed though still slightly
He was mate of a large bark at the
age of twenty-two years, and thirteen
years ago left the sea to locate a place in
Kansas. The Sockless Cicero of Kan
sas, as he is playfully called, was largely
in his later years a fresh water sailor,
and bis last vessel was wrecked off Lud
ington, on Lake Michigan, and all on
board were saved through the heroism
of the captain.
Captain Jerry Simpson is now a farm
er, and it is said was elected because be
showed on the stums his sockless condi
tion, claiming that he was so poor and
honest that he could not afford socks.
His success r will doubtless be a plain
man, who will go about canvassing the
Seventh district and wiping his nose on
the top rail of the fair ground fence be
cause he is so plain and poor that he
cannot affor 1 a handkerchief.
Until last June Mr. Simpson was the
city marshr I of Medicine Lodge. He
was up to hat time regarded as short
on genius ar d long on socks. Now it is
otherwise. Next to the "Krentzer
Sonata" and the young lady at the Four
teenth street museum who has a heavy
sorrel mane down her spinal column, the
Sockless holds the age on public notice.
Colonel Marsh Merdock was the first
to discover that Jerry did not wear
socks. The two went in swimming to
gether during the campaign, and then
the secret got out. The Great Un
soeked owns (540 acres of land, which is
this year all into wheat, or nearly so at
He also ov.-ns several heal of bright
young heifers, several of whom will en
ter the milch arena this spring. Mr.
Simpson is t he author of a small blue
book on "The Care of the Cow, and Ud
der Informal ion Generally." It is dedi
cated to Tl.omas Brower Peacock, the
poet of Topeka.
I am indebted for most of the above
facts to Mr. Simpson's Medicine Lodge
biographer a ad chiropodist, who wishes
me to say that he treats all troubles of
the feet, such as corns, bunions and in
growing nail i, chilblains, quarter crack,
etc.. etc., by mail as well as personally.
He has a bus: of Mr. Simpson's foot at
his place, and cheerfully answers all
questions regarding the great man.
Mr. Simpx'ii is the humorous feature
of the new and powerful movement
which seems to create general mirth,
but there i a power and a principle Ihj
hind it all to which it will lie profitable
to pay a? tent on. It may not win this
time in r neu time, but when it does
win the professional politician will do
well to get ii to his cyclone cellar and
spread his umbrella,
Charles Le lerer, Chicago, writes: "I
am an artist , and have very little exer
cise indeed. What would you advise?
Do you favor bowling? Did you ever
Yes, Charl s. I have lwwled in the
happy pa.-t. I favor it. Bowling builds
up a person r -al well. You will rind a
good bowling club near the Germania.
on the Nurth Side, where a lot of talent
ed cusses go f )r toljowl. I removed ray
dressing i-aeijio and lowled there one
evening quite awhile. The city libra
rian was pres nit. He u-ked mo t bowl.
I h:ld l!--ve:- b-f..re bowled. At the end
of a lung, st raight, convex alley stood
several wooden pius, which it is the ob
ject of the player to knock over by
means of larg-?, heavy balls also made of
wo.od. If tii player can at the same
time also mutilate a small mulatto boy
who sets r.r the pins much mirth is
added to the game. 1 went there need
ing exercise, and got so much of it
that 1 have r ot noeded any at all ever
since. I did not knock over any pins,
but I got the exercise.
A few days afterward I met the hoary
headed libriir.an on the street. He said,
"I must tell you that we had a job put
up on you at the Bowling club the other
Ah!" said I cheerily. "What was it?"
"Well, we arranged a string in front
of the pins so that we could throw your
ball oil the track every time, and thus
we could pre rent your getting a single
pin even by accident. But," he added,
with a tremet.dous sigh that was almost
a sob. it was not much of a success."
"Why? W iy because your ball never
got to the string."
Yet I regard bowling as a healthful
exercise, and far superior to the mutila
tion of scroll f aw brackets and members
of the family by means of Indian clubs.
I have also tried dumb bells. A very
large one is now holding my door shut
as I write these lines.
But 1 was benefited more by the
game of bowls. I think, than by any
other game I ever played. Tiddlede
winks, of cou-se, will alwavs have its
- v . 'II 1
I LARD AT IT.
devotees. Oatmeal and Tiddledewinks
will annually c arry off their thousands
just as they have always done, but
bowling is moie preferable, I think.
I used to have a health lift, but our re
lations became strained in two places,
so I swapped it for a 2-vear-old steer,
whose tail it was my blessed privilege
to twist at early dawn each gladsome
Highest of all in Leavening Power.
morn for six weeks,' and together we
would go around the straw pile at a
high rate of speed. I was never thrown
among a brighter or more piquant
steer during my public life.
Exercise is a great boon. It keeps a
great many people out of mischief, and
can hardly do any harm if not carried
to excess. I have received great benefit
myself from moderate exercise taken
from time to time on a pasteboard an
nual railroad pass about the size of a
visiting card. It was highly beneficial.
I like it yet, old as I am.
Cataaro Cannot B Cored
with local applications, as they cannot
reach the seat of the disease. Catarrh
is a blood or constitutional disease, and
in order to cure it you have to take inter
nal remedies. Hall's Catarrh cure is taken
internally, and acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces. Hall's Catarrh cure
is no quack medicine. It was prescribed
by one of the best physicians in this
country for years, and is a regular pre
scription. It is composed of the best
tonics known, combined with the best
blood purifiers, acting directly on the
mucous surfaces. The perfect combina
tion of the two ingredients ia what proN
duces such wonderful results in curmg
catarrh. Send for testimonials. F. J.
Chexey & Co., Props , Toledo, O. Sold
by druggists, price 75c.
Sympathiz'ng Citizen: That wooden
leg of yours doesn't stem to support you
very well, my frierd. Veteran: No, not
very well. The government allows me
oclv 130 a month for it.
For Ovar Fifty Yars
y.ti. Winslow's Soothing Svr;:p bss
been used by millions of mothers fcr
their children while teething. If dis-
burbed at night and broken of your rest
by a sick child suffering and crying with
pain of cutting teeth send at once and get
bottle o: "Mrf. N in slows Soothing
Syrup for children teething. It will re
lieve the poor little sufferer immediately.
Depend upon it. mothers, thereisno mis
take about it. It cures diarrhoea, regu
lates the stomach and bowels, cures wind
colic, softens the gums, reduces inflamma
tion and cives tone and energy to the
whoe system, "Mrs inflow's Soothing
Syrup" for children teetting is pleasant
to the taste and ia the prescription of one
of the oldest and best female physicians
and curses in the United States. Sold by
all druggists throughout the world. Price
twentv-five cents a bottle. Be ure and
ask for "Mrs. Winslow'g Soothing Syrup."
D.rtleigh: Ueal estate is the only in
vestment, after all. thit a man can ric-
und UDon. Sod'.eigb: That's so. old
mn. I'ye just bought a lot in the ccm
A Keal Baltatn n Seme's Itauam.
The dictionery says, "a balsam is a
thick, pure, aromatic substance flowing
from trees. Kemps Balsam for the
throat and lungs is the only cough medi
cine that is a real balsam. Many thin.
watery cough remedies are called balsam's
bnt such are not. Look through a bottle
of Kemp s Balsam and notice what a pure,
thick preparation it is. If you cough
use Kemp s Balsam. At all druggists'.
Large bottles 50c and Si.
"How is your boy getting along at
Harvard?" "First rate. He writes me
that be goes to Boston every night to
siuuj me eisis.
To Keivons and Debilitated Hen.
If you wiil send me your address we
will mail you our illustrated pamphlet
explaining all about Dr. Dye s celebrated
electro voltaic belt and appliances, and
their charming effects upon the nervous
dabilitated system, and how they will
quickly restore you to vigor, manhood
and health. Pamphlet free. If you are
thus afflicted, we will send you a belt and
appliances on trial.
Voltaic Bf.ltCo., Marshall, Mich.
The man who "knows it all" wouldn't
be such a bad fellow if he only kept it to
In tne pursuit of tte kooi things of
this world we anticipate too much; we
sat out the heart and sweetness of world
ly pleasures by delightful forethought of
them. The results obtained from the use
of Dr. Jones' Red Clover Tonic far exceed
ail claims. It cures dyspepsia, and all
stomach, liver, kidney and bladder
troubles. It is a perfect tonic, appetizer.
blood punncr, a sure cure for ague and
tnalanal diseases. Price. 50 cents. jo
When the devil can't make people keep
still about their religion he tries to make
them sv too much.
Do Toa Congit
Don't delay. Take Kemp's Balsam, the
best cough cure. It will cure your
couzbs and colds. It wid cure pains in
the cbeet. It will cure influenza and
bronchitis aad all diseases pertaining to
the lungs because it is a pure balsam.
Hold it to the light and see how clear and
thick it is. You will see the excellent
effect after taking the first dose. Large
bottles 503 andfl.
I think Ely's Cream Balm is the best
remedy for catarrh I ever saw. I never
took anything that relieved me so quick
ly, and I have not felt so well for a long
time. I used to be troubled with severe
headaches two or three limes a week.
J. A. Alcorn. Ag't. U P. R. R. Co..
What is more attractive than a pretty
ace with a fresh, bright complexion? For
t, use Pozzoni's Powder.
TJ. S. Gov't Report, Aug. 17, 1889.
J. B. ZIMMER,
-TTIE WELL KNOWN-
jVJ erchant Tailor,
Star Block, Opposite Harper IIorsE.
hs rnrrliau'd for tbr
Spring and Summer of 1891,
A larger and floor stork than ever. Tbore cooda arrive Id arVw tiara. W;i to ,.t m
H. SIEMON & SON,
toves and Till?,
Baxter Banner Cooking and Heating Stoves and the Gcneseo Cooking SloTtt
Tin, Copper and Sheet Iron Work.
1H0S bECONP AVE., UOCK ISLAND, ILL.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE
gB b8 ngs
Calf Goodyear Welt Shoes?
The bcot Mon'a fie thi? in ttic my f.r lhc
Second and Harrison t.
JT. 3VE. CHBISTY,
Steam Cracker Bakery,
HA5TJFACT7BZS 07 CK&CZZBS ASD SXSCTCTI
Ask jour Grocer for tbem. They are test.
gySpecSaWaai The CarV.j "0T8IEK" and tte Ctrte-.j "WAFEK-"
ROCK ISLAND. ILL.
SEIVERS & ANDERSON,
ALL KINDS OF CARPENTER WORK DONE.
fW General Jobbicg done on t hort notice and tatlefacUoa maras'.eed.
Office and Shop 1412 Fourth Avenue. ROCK ISLAND ILL.
Agency for Excelsior Roofing Company
Cuato thah Bhtjiolis.
Bead for clrco'.ar. (Telephone
J. x. dixojst,
And Dealer in Mens' Fine Woolens.
1706 Second Avenue.
GEORGE SCIIJeFER, Proprietor.
1801 Second Arenac, Corner of Bixtcvtth Hire - Opo.ite Hoer' Ibo-:.
The choicest Wines, Liquors,
Free Lunch Every Day
Office and Shop Corner Seventeenth 6U
aad Seventh. Avenue,
fM All klnie of caroler work a apocia'.ty.
ST. JAMES HOTEL,
Comer Twenty -third ftrcet and Fourth avenue.
J. T. KYAN, Proprietor.
Tbia boueebae Jnatbern refitted tbrnacbout and U now Id A . 1 rnnditton. It 1? i i"t t-r
1.00 per day boute and a drtirablc family hotel.
Manufacturer of all klnde of
BOOTS AND 8HOE3
Genu' Fin 8boet a i pec laity. Repalrinf done neatly and pronpuv
A ahare of yonr patronage respectfully aoliclted.
1613 Second Ayenoe. Rok Inland. 1 1
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER,
Bbop corner Twenty-aerond atrert and Ninth avenue. Beaidence 29U
Uf I prepared to make estimatca aad do all Made of Oarpeatprjwork. Give kia a tml.
STABY, BERGER & SNELL.
T. II ELLIS. Rock Wand. EL,
10SS) for. rarteitb et. aad S'cotd A.
Beer and Cigars always on Hand
Sandwich? Farul4fdon !; :' N 1
. . TJxL. Tclinrl
Plant and eiUnaaUf for all kind t tisLdxc
FCK-K ISLAM. ILL