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All the rear round vou mav
jclv upon Dr. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery to purify
the blood and invicoratc the
gvstera. It's not like the
sarsaparillas, that arc said to
fcc good for the blood in
March, April and May. The
'Golden Medical Discovery"
works equally veil at all
times, and in all cases of
blood - taints, or humor s, no
natter what their name or
It's the cheapest blood -puri-f.cr,
sold through druggists,
because you only pay for the
r::d vou get.
Your money is returned if
it vlcsn't benefit or cure you.
Can you ask more?
' Golden Medical Discov
ery" contains no alcohol to
inebriate, and no syri.p or
sugar to derange digestion.
It's a concentrated vegeta
ble extract; put up in large
bottles; pleasant to the taste,
and equally good for r.dults or
The "Discovery" cures all
Skin, Scalp and Scrofulous
affections, as Eczema, Tetter,
Salt-rheum, Fever-sores, White
Swellings, Hip -joint disease
and kindred ailments.
Chicago, Minneapolis and St. Pau
Via the Famous Albert Lea Route.
St. Louis, Minneapolis and St. Paul
Via St. LouU,Sliuneapolis Jt St. Paul Short Li-e.
Through Sleepers and Chair Cars
KANSAS CITY, MINNEAPOLIS AND ST. FAUL,
PEORIA, CEDAR RAPIDS AND SIOUX FALLS, DAK.
CHICACO AND CEDAR RAPIDS
Via the Famous Albort Lea Routt.
THE SHORT UNE
Tc) SPIRIT LA K ZGr
The Great Iowa bummer l:csort.
For railway and Hotel Ilatf s, Inscriptive
Pamphlets and all information, ml dress
tien'l Ticket and Passenger Agcat.
rOR CHEAP HOMES
On line of this road in North uvtern Iowa,
Southeastern Minnesota, and Central Dakota,
where drought and crop failures are unknown.
Thousands of ehoice aires of laud v. t unsold.
Iioeal Kxcursion rates given. 1 or f lill informa
tion asto prices of land and rales of far .-.address
lien'l 1 teket and Passenger Aprent.
All of the Passenger Tniins on all Pi .isions of
this Kailwav are lieated liv steam from the
engine, and the Main Line Pa'v Passeiu.er Trains
areMighteri with the Electric f.itrht.
M;tM, Time Tables, Throiifrh tattes and all in
formation furnished on application t.i Afiunts.
Tickets on sale over this route at all prominent
points in the I'ldoii. and lv its Audits, to all
parts of the United States and Canada
SS"Kor announcements of Kxrnrsinn Kates,
and local matters of interest, please refer to the
local columns of this paper.
.. J. IVES. J. E. HANNEGAN,
Pres't & Uen'l Snpt. tien'l Tltt. i Pass. Agt
CEDAR HAPiOS. IOWA.
UKQUAI!ITE!)WTH THE GEOGRAPHY OF THIS COUNT; .YWU.C3TA1N
MM VALUA8IX ISfOnAT!0K FROM A STUDY Or TH 5 IMP OF THE
Cliicap, Back IsM & Paciflc Ry,
The Direct P.ouf to nn l fnni ( iitran, J 1W, O'.tarva,
lYovin, T.n S!ll y, I;ck !.hin,!. hi I r.l.INiI.S ;
I)nv'ni!r!, Muw.itin 'Jtnmiwa. !: aMusi. Iks
Wi:. -t. UHtt';oitr T:.ir!:i;: :.;itl ("mricil
UlufTs. in IOWA : M!.ini':!i: : :ut i-:. V; u. in MIX
KESOTA; V.'atenov, n aiv.i Sioux I 'all . i:. l.AKOTA ;
Cameron, Sr. J' s-i-h nn'i Kansas (it;, ia JiI0!"r.I ;
Omaha, Lincoln, Knirl'tiry XI:n. ;:. ; ir.rt.WIA ;
Atchi-nn, i.oaveii-.vurlh. Krti:i, T p ica. Iliit' r.iu.om.
Wichita, Urilevilie. A1iiini, 1-I. city, Ca!'i" ll. in
KANSAS; Eliitttishjr. El Rno rud Mince, in INMAX
TKIiniTOliV; Ivnvrr, O'lorado ;p:ir.pi ami rullo.
in CXL(.HA 1m i. TraviTH.-? iifnv uresis of ricii farming
and grazing lainl. nff iriiiiii; the ie facil tics of inter
communication to ell tnvrns and citic! :?t nud west,
northwest flud ?uiiiwst of Chicago n::d t I'.ic.lic and
VESTIBULE EXPRESS TV.AINS
Leading all competitors in splendor o
between CHICAGO an 1 IES MOINB-
IlLt'FFS and OMAHA, and letwecn CI
DENVER, COI.ORAIH srRINUS and 1
KANSAS CITY and TOI'EKA and via
First-Class J)v Coaahw, FKEF. KEc;.I
CAES, and Palace flo-pei-s, with Itiiiin?
I KG CHAIR
h1? :ic and
Close connections at lh-nvcr and Colorado
diverging railway lines,, now forming :
TRANS-P.CCiry MOUNTAIN ROUTE
Over T.-hlch uttt'.'-rhly-co.': i;c-l train' inn dally
TnnOlTGII WITH'.)'. T CHANiiE to snd from Salt
Lake City, Cplen cud Sar. Francisco. THE ROCK
ISLAND is aHo tic; Dirert and FavorU ; Line to and
' from Manitou, T'ihe's IVak and ell i t':cr sanitary and
scenic resortsandcitiea au l mininsdwric sin Colorado.
BAH, y FAST EXPRESS
From St. Joseph nnd K:n?a?! City to and from oil im
portant towns. cities and sections in Soutleru Nebraska,
Kansas and the Indian Territory. Also via ALBERT
LEA EOUTE flora Kansas City nnd Chii ago to V."ater
town. Sioux Falls, SIINNEAPOLIS nnl ST. TAUL.
connoctiong for all points north and norti iwest between
the lakes and the Pacific Coast.
For Tickets, Maps, Folders, or desire I information
apply to any Coupon Ticket Office In the United State
or Canada, or address
E. ST. JOHN. JOHN 6EIIASTIAN,
Qecl Kauager, 3en'lTkt.;PML Agt.
AN ELECTRICAL FEAST.
WONDERS OF ELECTRICITY STAFJT
ISrlglit i:yc in Bony Socket r.Ieam u
Ser.nlcln-al AVrniti lin Z'raiiklin in
Antique Dress Repeats Poor rchard'
Masiius Crinnins Sliulls.
The annual dinner of the Franklin Fx
perimcntal club, of Newark, X. J., was the
weirdest n Hair of the kind that was cver
Riven, and a society reporter would Lave
..at: wits' c'nii to write it up.
'illi.un J. llarnmpr, who was Edison's
foprespntative at the Paris exnwition, was
the prime spirit in the enterprise, nnd r.o
one am discredit the fact that the din r
was the most original ever given. Only
think of tiiis: it was presided over by liu
I rauklm in person, M ho made a very tcrace
ful speech and welcomed the puests. II
sat at the head of t he board, his lont? white
hair banging over hw shoulders, dressed in
asntt of brown broadcloth, with lace at
bis neck and wrists-a, fashion sfcranj?ely
out of date at present.it is true-and he
v .VV1 wuv,h''fc sounded sometbing
like Old Richard's almanac ami something
bkthe language of the court of Louia
The laboratory had been transformed
from its workaday world appearance as if
by magic. In the center of the room there
was a long, narrow table, the ordinary
work bench of the place, covered with
enow white napery and adorned with wt.at
looked like bilious fruits, fresli flowers
and sparkling glass.
Woims i i:om SKI LLS.
The guests sat down and were served
with the iir-t coursj. The re waa no t hef
emidoyed. Is was cooked by electricity,
and in fact s; was everything, down to the
coffee, which was made over wires. The
diners had no sooner got t heir teeth into
samples from a deliriously stewed dish of
oysters, when bang' out went the incan
descent lights and darkness reigned. Then
there appeared out of the shadows a couple
of hideous, grinning skulls. Their eves
shone fire, their months shot forth flames.
Their jaws moved with a suapping like a
crocodile's, and from their invisible throats
there came forth two sepulchral voices in
As yc are now so once were we;
As wc urc now so ye shall be.
It was a pleasing appetizer. Mr. Ham
mer bad, as if by magic, brought them out
of space somehow, and had, by the subtle
use of a battery and a phonograph, made
eyes gleam where in reality only sockets
were, and their lleshless jaws move as if
alive. Mr. Hammer has a friend who h.ts
a deep bass voice which seems to issue from
Lis feet, and he it was who was pressed
ino service for the manufacture of tiie
phonographic sound. Of course, after t he
merhani.-ra of the thing was explained,
every man bad a good laugh on bis neigh
The lights were t timed up again and an
other course was introduced. All unsus
pecting, t he various guests lvgan tr enjoy
the product cooked by electricity. But
with Hen Franklin at the table there was
small chance for sybaritic enjoyment of t ho
meal. He sat smiling an oily, benignant
smile, when suddenly there issued from Lis
waxen gullet the following sententious
roon LiciiAnu's wakning.
"A fat kitchen makes a lean will; if yon
would know the value of money try aud
And so the dinner went on. In the midst
of it suddenly there burst forth the sound
of a delicious voice. It was Mme. Adini's,
of the Grand Opera, in Paris. She sang a
few notes, and then suddenly there merged
into hers the deep notes of a rich basso.
That was Melcbissedec's. Together they
were pouring forth the inspiriting music
of the "Marseillaise." Next there came
the booming of cannon, the thrilling notes
of a grand bugle solo, with its echoes
against the buildings of Paris, and finally
a man's voice again making a graceful
By the dexterous placing of a phonograph
the guests at the strange little dinner at
Newark bad been transported away across
the Atlantic, aud were listening to the last
closing exercises of the Paris exposition.
The man's voice distinctly beard making a
speech was M. Eiffel's.
In the place that a sorlet would natural
ly occupy in an ordinary dinner the lights
suddenly went out again, and a strange
thing happened. Near the middle of the
table there bad been throughout the din
ner a great glole of gold fishes, through
which flashed the varied colored lights
that had been turned on from time to
time. All of a sudden, as if a magician
bad waved his wand, tiie globe became il
lumined with a monochrome. In the
globe of glass were seen swimming about
the little live fishes of gold or silver, which
were as transparent as those tiny affairs
that fakirs sell in the streets for t he amuse
ment of children.
All the anatomy of the shiny fishes was
plainly discernible. And they swam and
swam about as if nothing more unusnal
bad occurred than was natural with the
finny folk. Yet each one of these fishes
had inserted down bis throat down into
bis stomach a miniature electric light
about the size of a big pea, and was sailing
about with a thin, hairlike wire in its gul
let that was almost invisible to the naked
srr.pr.isEs in every course.
So the dinner went on, and with every
course, with every other minute, some
strange, uncanny thing was done by t he
magical intervention of electricity. The
oysters were stewed by the same mystical
force, so were the eggs boiled, so the wattr
for the punch was heated. Between whiles
once, for instance, the lights went oat and
there appeared on the table a miniature
menagerie, the inmates of which bad blaz
ing eyes, mouths spitting forth flames like
the animals in the Apocalypse, and all
were doing some surprising thing.
Just as the banquet was ending all the
flowers overhanging the table fell in
showers upon the guests below. Tiny bits
of iron bad been attached to each rose or
carnation, which were held in their places
by the attraction of a magnet. When the
circuit was broken the flowery shower fol
lowed. The air was kept cool all the time
by steel fans worked by electricity, aud
among the numerous other odd things that
happened was the sudden burst of piano
music that broke in upon the banquet.
This was produced by a subtle telephonic
connection with a piano in the next block,
played by a young woman who was notified
by "a local telegraph when her services
were required. Air. Edison, through the
medium of a phonographic cylinder, made
some pleasant remarks about Franklin, and
through a like medium De Wolf Hopper's
robust voice filled the apartment with
the topical song "You Can Always Ex
plain It Away." At 11 o'clock sharp the
strident voice of Franklin quietly re
marked, "Early to bed and early to rise
makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."
Anchso the strange dinner -was over, New
THE AllGUS, FRIDAY. APKIL 3, 189L
After AV.iHin All TIiee Year. It Was
Too, Too Mtirlt.
A big, l.nrly man aliout thirty vf are of
ago entered a thoe shop on Grand ave
nue the other day, and after looking all
aronn.l and closely wanning the proprie
tor, be said;
'Yon are not tlw man who run this
shfp fifteen vear.s a"'''
"Are you Lis son, brother or any rela
'Where is the maur" .
"He is ue-.d."
'Been dead fourteen wars. Owe yoa
"No! I owed him something. I owed
liim the all firedest licking a inan ever
got, :;nd I came in to give it to him to
day." "Well, you are too late. Why did you
wait so longr"'
"lie was a big fallow and had a bad
look to Lira. I was only a boy when I
came in here one day fifteen years ago
to have a lift put on tho heel of my
boot. I accidentally upset some of his
traps and he put the lift somewhere else.
I told him I'd grow for him, and that's
what I've been doing."
"Sorry for yon," said the shoemaker
as he shaved away at a piece of solo
"It's a mean trick! It's fifteen years
thrown dead away! Have his heirj ar.y
claim on this shop'r"
"And you are not related?"
"Not in the least."
"Then I couldn't punch your head on
the old account?"
"rdtrcy, no! Might as well punch the
Chinaman next door."
"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't see how
it can be helped. I suppose I ought to
have kept closer track of him. You
don't want to stand np before me?"
"Oh, no, no, no."
"Well, good day. Fd like to give you
one punch for the sake of the departed,
but I'll let yoa off this time." Detroit
Mrs. Kinsley Tho worse of it is that
when one gets anything i.ow in dress at
the end of tho week yonr servant has it.
Mrs. Bingo That is if you have tho
same servant at tho end of the week.
Miss Laflin What has become of our
friend Mr. Clay?
Mr. Rand He has taken employment
in a powder mill for six months.
Miss LaSLn How f-trange!
Mr. Rand Not at alL Ho wished to
break himself of smoking. Purk.
The annoyance of breaking
lamp-chimneys need not be
Get tough glass chimneys.
Macbeth's "pearl top " and
44 pearl glass" are tough
against heat; they do not
break, except from accident.
They are also clear, trans
parent.not misty or milky; they
fit and stand upright ; shape
and proportions are right to di
rect the draft upon the llame.
They cost a little more than
rough and wrong chimneys of
common glass that break' con
tinually. Pittsburg. cno. A. JUrarrn i Co.
arpef s Theatre,
J. E- Montrcse. Maoatrer.
One week, with Sstnniav Matinee, commencing
Suptortetl by hi r own
SUPERB DRAMATIC COMPANY.
Acknowledged by tUe pre and pnb'ic to be the
Mroneri-t company that evrr appeared.
Monday bight tbe lite act arum, entitled
AdmiMion: 10c 20c aad 30c; reset Td sella
without extra charge.
Note I be coat u me of Lllaa Stuart are mar
vels of beauty, aod are directly from Worth's of
Parte act New Terk.
A Scire Cure.
! p. v - :. n
jvj ew Arrivals.
We have just
rST-VVe invite everybody
(liV<e W E5 B O 4y7'FS 1fJ fJDrATEJJFTM OVTABIO YatTZKV A.
UJ COMPLEXION a l-,;: 2:.
if mxm mil r.., tl Uixonuoa tat tHC ri v a' 'if.-t.
i Mk b; ill ,M M b ul lc M cu 3aKT,l A. J. r t'N i K. M. t, nORTA fm PI
CWfrsrp? rrsM izx? fT v. IJKuTAbQll
zJr V wiEiua muZz1 ttAtftiiSr -M IrJri y R o r.oi err cnbacm's
MUttiBW a. THIS PAPER E&HS L3'vlsH
school or SSiasSS- f ti'y'-J"s:
lEUQQnPHY iS; ifiH ZZl ' 1
received the first ebipment of
FOR THE EARLY-
Spring season of
to call and examine them.
The Pioneer Clothier and Hatter,
115 and 117 West Second Street, DAVENPORT, IA.
Wait tor the GRAND
our old 1622 stand.
our new stock of
Rock Island, HI.